The MeeThinks Saturday Spectacular 03.10.07

Let’s get to it, eh?

Rock & roll.

(BTW – to the fella who asked what’s going on in that animation above… I don’t think anything’s hitting our ladyfriend’s head, really. That .gif was made from a series of screencaps after I attended a TNA taping, and I think what we’re looking at here is just what’s *supposed* to be a random face in the crowd cheering “Rhi-no, Rhi-no.” But since she’s actually a paid Crowd-Plant-Hottie (TM), she doesn’t want her face to keep showing up episode after episode of TNA television, so the second she realizes she’s on camera — she quickly turns away and faces the audience in hopes to help the crowd cheer along and not blow her “I’m on the payroll” cover.)

General Wrestling News

Allen “Bad News Brown” Coage Passes Away
Former WWE Star Was 63

Quite a bummer, as Bad News Brown (a.k.a. “Bad News Allen,” for all you Stampede Wrestling fans out there) was a heck of a performer in his day and one of the better heels on the WWF roster who never quite made it to the main event. Dying at 63 is, admittedly, young — especially when BNB was reported to have been in tremendous shape for a guy his age. Even doubly sad because unlike wrestling’s other two most recent losses (Bam Bam and Mike Awesome), this one seems to be pretty drug-and-incident free.

But since this is the “positive” column, and all… rather than dwell on the sad stuff, how about we take a few minutes to remember Bad News Brown for the *good* he gave to all us fans who absolutely LOVED to boo him for so many years, eh?

Dunno if this will still be here by the time y’all get to checking it out (gotta’ love WWE’s legal team), but if you have the chance… check out Bad News Brown on Arsenio Hall from back in 1990. Holy crap was this guy awesome… totally played his part to a “T.” Just imagine *any* of WWE’s current crop of midcard heels pulling off a total “in character” interview for seven-plus minutes on a mainstream media talk show these days. Pretty tough act to pull off, right? No doubt, and this is just one example of why Bad News Brown was a certifiable “great” at his craft, and that he will most definitely be missed.

Rest in peace, Bad News. Don’t worry my friend, I have it on good authority that there’s no snakes in heaven.

Bam Bam’s Death Ruled “Accidental”
Toxic Levels of Cocaine and Benzodiazepine to Blame

The sad part of all this is that the Tampa Tribune reporter, Geoff Fox (e-mail him at this address) pretty much took Bigelow’s death as an opportunity to trot out all the recent wrestler passings (dating back to Curt Hennig and Road Warrior Hawk) and lump them all together as if they all died as the result of the same right-up-till-the-end drug abuse. Yup, he even listed Eddie Guerrero and Mike Awesome in the mix.

Nothing much “positive” to be said here, really. It’s pretty sad that a once-brilliant performer like Bam Bam Bigelow will likely amount to nothing more than a footnote in wrestling’s ever-growing list of drug-related deaths. Here’s hoping fans can remember the guy for what he did *on* camera and *in* the ring instead.

On a lighter note…

YOU Too Can Meet The Ultimate Warrior!
eBay Selling 100 Personal Autograph Sessions with Former WWE Champion

Hellz. Yes.

If you’ve never had the pleasure, let Mee speak from personal experience here, folks — meeting the Ultimate Warrior is truly a “once in a lifetime” experience… though perhaps *not* for the reasons one might expect.

True story — back before WrestleMania VII, our pal Warrior swung through the northern New Jersey area and made a pit-stop autograph signing at (of all places), a FURNITURE store… Unclaimed Freight, if I’m not mistaken. Anyhow — Dad had to work on that day, but Mee and my brother Jeremy (8 and 6 at the time) were pretty freakin’ pumped to meet the guy… so Mom had the dubious honor of haulin’ us up to this furniture store (easily an hour+ from my house) and just WAITING in line for the better part of three hours for “The Ultimate One” to arrive. Let’s just say Mom was less than thrilled, I’m sure.

Anyhow, we were probably like the 20th or so person in line — and that was a very good thing, too, as by the Warrior’s scheduled arrival time (something like 7 or 8 that night), the line to meet the guy snaked literally ALL throughout the store (and this is a Home-Depot-sized warehouse we’re talkin’ about here), to the point where people were actually lined up AROUND the building (in the middle of February, no less!) for the chance to stand toe-to-toe with the Ultimate One.

Of course, Warrior was late by the better part of an hour-plus… which left many a fan none-too-pleased from the getgo. Couple that with the fact that the “late arrival” (wink) meant that our pal Warrior (you know, the guy we’d been waiting for a HALF A DAY to meet?) “wouldn’t have time to sign autographs” — and the fans were understandably perturbed. Still, no matter though, as sure enough our man FINALLY rolled into the store a solid 90 minutes later. But no worries — it was THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR, right?!?

Well… “technically.”

Being a chid of 8, I thought for SURE that the guy we were about to see would come charging through the store. You know the routine, music hits — Warrior comes running over to the autograph table at the front of the line, jumps up onto the thing and gives the universal “gorilla press” motion over his six-foot-head to the sky before snorting, snarling and prowling back and forth all while making rambling and nonsensical threats to invisible enemies in his full neon facepaint and tassel regalia.

Instead? We got a guy who stood *maybe* 5’4″, tops, didn’t have a speck of facepaint or neon on him, donned a beat-up old denim jacket, wore his hair back in a ponytail (under a baseball cap, no less), and — this is the kicker — walked into this warehouse AN HOUR AND A HALF late (well into the evening hours, now) WEARING SUNGLASSES inside the building and at night. Cory Hart woulda’ been proud.

Yes, it was the Warrior alright — and shoot, it was an AWESOME experience to be able to brag to all my buddies after the fact that I’d met him… but you can BET that I left out all those incidental details so as not to tarnish the poor dude’s mystique. Just couldn’t bring myself to do it, ya’ know?

So yeah… if you’ve got $55 to spend and you’d like to plunk down a BuyItNow bid to meet the one and only Jim Hellwig Warrior “Ultimate Warrior” Warrior — I’d say go for it! Nowhere near what you’ll be expecting, but damn it should make for a GREAT story nonetheless.

Hulk and Linda on the Rocks?
Bubba the Love Sponge Talks Smack on Hogan’s Marriage

File it under “non-news.”

Bubba’s a loudmouth and a poor man’s Howard Stern. He’ll do whatever it takes to keep himself, his show, and his “schtick” as close to edgy and relevant as possible… and so his latest ploy has been to stir shit with his one true celebrity meal-ticket, Hulk Hogan.

Last month, Bubba sold Hulkster up the river with Vinny Mac by airing a live phone call between Hogan and Vince’s secretary. Hogan (thinking he was bigger than the business and that it’d blow over) went along with things, but then found himself on the outs with Vince and company and so there’s little reason to doubt that the Red and Yellow express turned to blaming everybody around him (coughBubbacough) for having screwed over his shot at a WrestleMania payday.

(After all, Hulk Hogan can do no wrong — just ask him).

Regardless —

Hogan’s beef with McMahon seems to have morphed into a miniature Hogan beef with Bubba… but as with most things Hulkster related, quibbles between business associates and friends are usually short-lived, and you can fully expect The Immortal One and his pals (Vince included) to patch things up sooner or later. In the mean time, MeeThinks it’s probably not worth paying too much mind or attention to all the rumors, smack-talking and innuendo that’s likely to hit the airwaves courtesy of both sides of the conflict.

WSX News

Wrestling Society X Goes Down Swinging
MTv To Air All But One Remaining Episodes in One-Night Marathon on March 13

Good to see MTv being kind enough to air all of the promotion’s remaining episodes before officially filing it under “failed ventures we’ll never speak of again.” Wrestling Society X is a veritable stunt showcase of some of the most fun (if overly contrived) “wrestling” (we’ll use that word loosely) on the market today, and even if it doesn’t quite measure up to the standard of other “REAL” professional wrestling broadcasts — it’s always proven a fast-paced, high-energy and thoroughly entertaining spotfest-of-a-distraction for all of the episodes I’ve managed to catch.

So rejoice, WSX fans — set those TiVos for this TUESDAY, MARCH 13 to see one last marathon hurrah of MTv’s latest brainfart… and make sure to tune in again next week for what’s rumored to be an exploding cage match on the March 20 WSX season finale.

Talk about “going out with a bang.”

(Sorry, couldn’t resist…)

TNA News

Kurt Angle Implicated in Steroid Ring
Sports Illustrated Article Singles Out Former Olympian

Pro wrestlers on STEROIDS?!

File this one under “non-news.”

Angle all but admitted to doping a LONG time ago, folks, and since professional wrestlers (as well as your average non-professional “real-sport” athlete) are often prescribed various forms of steroids to help in the rehab process, it’s hardly earthshattering that Angle’s name would come up in any discussion involving a possible steroid scandal.

Now I know this column has come down pretty hard on drug users and abusers (coughRVDcough) in the past, but Angle’s case is a LOT different — the guy *had* (and possibly “has”) a drug addiction, period. Even if it started out with legal drugs, there’s probably little question that it ended up venturing into “illegal” territory from time to time. REGARDLESS – Angle’s owned up to his addictions, lost a lucrative job and taken a substantial paycut as the result of ’em (by leaving WWE for the much smaller TNA), AND he’s (allegedly) doing his best to stay off the stuff at present.

Rather than crucify the guy for mistakes made in his past, how about we cut him some slack and give him a chance to clean up his act in the future? Unlike RVD, at least it sounds like Angle’s making the effort (or, at the very least, “paying us lip service”) to curb his addiction in the future.

NWA and TNA To Part Ways
Orlando Company Set to Drop All References to “NWA” Lineage & History

A tough — but overdue and pretty much “expected” — blow for “old school” TNA fans, as the company will officially detach themselves from all NWA ties and thus lose the ability to namedrop such old-time greats as Ric Flair, Harley Race, and yes… George Hackenschmidt.

(‘cuz NOTHING screams “relevant with a modern audience” like George freakin’ Hackenschmidt.)

Regardless –

For those fans who are bemoaning the loss of the NWA name as “yet ANOTHER sign of Vince Russo’s mismanagement of the company,” kindly get your facts straight here, folks. The NWA name has been little more than a vestigial remnant of the company’s startup days for quite some time now. From the moment TNA left Nashville, it was painfully clear that “THIS IS T-N-A” was the company’s new calling card, and that the namedrop ‘cred of the NWA was only to be trotted out for the rare video montage hyping the title belt’s lineage to help with the hard-sell of a pay per view.

Let TNA and NWA part ways, ‘sez I. People thought the WWWF (then WWF, then WWE) were doomed when *they* parted ways with the NWA thirty-plus years ago, and look how poorly THAT all turned out. The days of wrestling territories have LONG since seen their time in the spotlight (don’t even get Mee started on why Vince isn’t gonna’ split up his rosters to international branches) — and it’s really just a formality that an aspiring GLOBAL wrestling company like TNA would likewise shed their territorial NWA namesake once the promotion had built up enough momentum of its own.

WWE News

Lawler Nonplussed with Hall of Fame Induction
Wanted Lance Russell, Had Baseball Tickets

Word on the ‘webz is that The King was underwhelmed when told he’d be making the Hall of Fame this year. In King’s mind, a HOF induction means that you’ve reached the twilight of your career, and that you’re pretty much an “old-timer” just receiving a lifetime achievement award because fans and promoters aren’t expecting you to offer much else before all’s said and done. Understandably, Lawler felt aged by the whole thing, as he still believes he has a lot to give back to the ‘biz in the many years to come.

That said —

The fact that Lawler had baseball tickets and hadn’t planned to attend this year’s ceremony is, well, pretty stupid on his part. WWE’s Hall of Fame ceremony is pretty much as command-performance as they come in the wrestling ‘biz these days, and you’d think that a guy like Lawler — with such a longstanding tenure around the industry — would actually *want* to attend a show specifically designed to “class up” the pseudo-sport (if only for a night) as well as to pay tribute to so many of the “old-timers” who came up the ranks right alongside of him. So as harsh as it sounds, Lawler gets little sympathy from Mee for “having other plans” on such a night as WWE’s Hall of Fame ceremony.

I will say, however, that it’s disappointing that WWE’s “creative team” talked Lawler out of having legendary Memphis wrestling announcer Lance Russell be the man to do the inducting honors. But then again, I can sort of see where they’re coming from on this one… because if we look at the current crop of this year’s Hall of Famers?

Dusty Rhodes — Known best for his tenure with NWA, WCW, and *then* WWF.

Nick Bockwinkle — As AWA as they come.

Curt Hennig — Probably the biggest “WWF” name of the crew as Mr. Perfect, but longer-term fans known him best from his AWA days (while newer fans would only remember him as a WWF commentator and/or as a late-entry to WCW).

Jerry Lawler — Best known by WWF/E-only fans as a late 90’s comedy act (through the Bret Hart feud), and then as an announcer.

In the end…

WWE is pretty short on talent who *really* made a name for themselves in a World Wrestling Federation/Entertainment ring — and so while it sucks that Lance Russell got the bump from this year’s ceremony, it’s somewhat understandable that WWE would be leery about adding yet ANOTHER non-WWF/E name to the mix for this year’s class when they’re already stretching for WWF/E names the way it is.

Speaking of this year’s class of Hall of Famers, though…

ECW Tag Division on the Way?
Dusty Rhodes Pushes WWE to Add New Titles

Interesting move here, as many fans thought for sure that the next title to be added to ECW would be a secondary singles’ belt (like the TV Title, or what have you). But regardless of *what* belt’s being added to ECW, it’s good to see SOMETHING being done to help liven up the show and give its’ extremists superstars something to battle for other than simple “pride.”

Bottom line —

ECW needs itself a new storyline with some weight and FAST. If they’ve tapped out the New Breed/Originals storyline by WrestleMania, the promotion will be sitting on a LOT of performers with VERY LITTLE to do. Now yes, tag wrestling in WWE isn’t exactly something to write home about these days, but at least a tag match gives TWICE as many performers something to do than a singles match. Besides, a tag division is a great way to make fans care about guys who they might otherwise not be all that inclined to pay attention to on account that two lesser-known performers are being buddied up for a package deal. Think about it — would you *really* plunk down main-event money to watch a show headlined by Matt Striker vs. Kevin Thorne just yet? Not likely. But if ECW can get the tag division off the ground, there’s little reason to believe that fans won’t tune in for semi-main-event matches featuring stuff like…

Striker and Thorne VS. Dreamer and Sandman
Striker and Thorne VS. RVD and Sabu
Burke and Cor Von VS. Dreamer and Sandman
Burke and Cor Von VS. RVD and Sabu

Throw in some undercard tag teams (or newly-imported ones from other brands) like Cade & Murdoch, La Resistance, The F.B.I. and maybe one or two others — and just like that, almost EVERYONE not otherwise occupied with a singles’ program (Holly, Snitsky) or title hunt (Lashley, Punk) has been given something worthwhile to do.

Well, except maybe Balls Mahoney…

But hey —

On the off-chance that the tag division flounders (and we all know it totally could), at least then you’ll have had enough television time dedicated to each team that fans might actually care when they’re presented with the inevitable slew of “tag partnership dissolved” ready-made singles’ programs on down the road.

Orton vs. Carlito Set for RAW
Final Money in the Bank Qualifier This Monday Night

This isn’t really as much of a “news” item as it is simply a chance for Mee to remind y’all that I’ll be there LIVE when RAW invades our nation’s capital this Monday Night at 9 p.m. Live shows — and live TELEVISION tapings, no less — rarely fail to impress, so I’m thoroughly pumped and looking forward to it!

(By the way, to the reader who asked — sections 12 and 13 are side-by-side, I believe!)

So yeah, look for Mee on RAW!

New Smackdown! GM Due in the Coming Weeks
Vicki Guerrero to Replace Teddy Long

Eesh.

Not sure how I feel about this one from a “fan” perspective, but from a personal standpoint? MeeThinks this is a great move on everybody’s part for a number of reasons.

1) It pays off the long-running Krystal/Teddy/Vicki “harassment” storyline that they’ve been teasing for MONTHS now.

2) It freshens up the GM spot, even if Teddy’s been pretty good in it and Vicki isn’t exactly the most charismatic of performers — Smackdown! has had the same authority figure for over two years now. Plus word has it that Teddy will be kept on the show in another capacity, so it’s not like he’ll be “Long” gone.

3) A LOT of the GM stuff takes place in backstage and/or pre-recorded vignettes. Personally, I can’t help but feel that the benefit of post-production will really help mask some of Vicki’s onscreen awkwardness and in-ring interview charisma deficiencies. Once she gets a bit more comfortable behind the mic and the camera, then slowly she can make her way back in front of live audiences.

But most importantly…

4) It keeps Vicki Guerrero on the WWE payroll, AND it limits her house show touring schedule, that way she can spend more time with her family and raising her daughters.

There’s really nothing bad that can be said about that.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

That’ll do it for Mee this week. Plenty of fun and exciting stuff in the week to come, however, as we’ve got Destination X on tap for this weekend PLUS I get to cheer my little heart out at RAW from D.C. this Monday night. ‘Till next time, enjoy the week (look for Mee on TV, eh?), and always stay positive!

– Meehan