The MeeThinks Saturday Saint Pat’s Spectacular 03.17.07

Let’s get to it, eh?

Rock & roll.

WWE News

WWE Single-Brand PPV’s Are Abolished
All Future Events to Feature Talent from All Three Shows

I for one am THRILLED about this. Not because it marks the end to the Brand Extension (which it doesn’t), nor because it’s really all that different than the cross-promotional PPV’s we’ve been seeing for the past few months (which it’s not) — but because it gives WWE writers MORE pay-per-views to work with apiece, but LESS reason to force storylines to fit into the same-old “we’ve got two months ’till a PPV, so let’s drag something out ’till then” approach.

More PPV’s (with an available talent pool of MORE stars) means that not EVERY top-level star has to wrestle on EVERY PPV EVERY single month. Whereas before and a RAW PPV just a month after WrestleMania meant that every performer on the red brand pretty much had be ready to go for the next month’s Backlash (which usually meant a full show of WrestleMania rematches or hotshot matches with no build)… now we’ve opened things up to allow for a much smoother, more accomodating PPV schedule with a boatload of rosters that can plug holes logically and as needed.

MeeThinks the “more frequent, but less compulsory” approach to PPV’s gives things a *much* more logical and natural time to let storylines, feuds and angles develop. Rather than hotshotting programs that are FORCED to fit between PPVs, the freedom of “well if ONE show’s key storyline isn’t quite ready to go at a given PPV, we can always pay off the OTHER show’s storyline instead…” approach definitely frees things up for a much more natural, longer-term build for all parties involved.

Sure your lower-card guys will inevitably get bumped from co-branded PPV’s from time to time as rival show’s stars are imported — but they’ve still got their respective brand’s regularly-scheduled weekly program to shine and work their way onto the fans’ collective PPV-ready radars. And this way, rather than seeing London and Kendrick in YET ANOTHER PPV title defense with little-to-no-build? We can actually bide our time and watch them put the effort into a credible set of challengers for the tag belts before forcing the champs to squash yet another tandem of newcomers simply because the brand-exclusive PPV was short on talent and time to let things develop as they should have.

So long as you’re not mandating that each brand’s champions make title defenses at each month’s PPV, AND so long as they do their best to minimize inter-brand matches (say, RAW main eventers vs. Smackdown! main eventers, etc.) — then your main event (and upper midcard) picture should become much more feed up to better accomodate angles and storylines that won’t be forced to fit within the cookie-cutter-confines of “we’ve only got THREE weeks to make this angle PPV-ready.” Before, if a program wasn’t ready to culminate by PPV time, you had no choice but to hotshot it and/or stretch it out to kill the stretch between PPV’s. Now? If a certain brand’s program isn’t *quite* ready to go for this month’s PPV (or, alternately, if it looks like it just won’t sustain enough momentum to make it ’till *next* month’s PPV?) you have the option to pull the trigger and/or buy yourself some time to ultimately give your fans a better (and more rewarding) product in the long run.

All in all?

A great move, in my opinion, and one that could be a tremendous success if executed properly.

Edge Nursing a Fractured Jaw
“Rated R Superstar” Pulled from In-Ring Action ‘Till ‘Mania

Well there you have it, folks. For all of you critics who’ve been on Edge’s case for “wimping out” of two weeks’ worth of matches — now you know why… so cut the poor guy a break, will ‘ya?

Frankly, this injury couldn’t have come at a BETTER time for the Rated R Superstar. With his place in the Money in the Bank ladder match already secure, Edge has little to gain and everything to lose if he puts his health on the line between now and WrestleMania. Instead, we’ve had the chance to see Edge showcase his heelish out-of-ring best as his inevitable dissention with Randy Orton builds to a head. As many a ‘net fan has already pointed out, watching Edge and Orton disintegrate is like looking at the rule-breaker equivalent of what’s going on between Cena and Michaels. In both cases, the gradual seeds of doubt and the ever-evolving character subtleties we’re getting from all of the men involved are really doing a bang-up job in winning fans’ interest in both of these matchups. While Michaels and Cena tease friendship while always keeping an eye out for one another to stab ’em in the back, on the heel end of things we get to see Edge being a classic too-scared-to-fight chickenshit rulebreaker while he forces Randy to pull double-duty on the duo’s expected in-ring thuggery.

In short —

It gives you a reason to care about ALL of the characters involved, as there’s subtle differences between them and EACH character has been given a well-scripted motivation for wanting to beat the other at WrestleMania.

Cena = keep the belt at all costs
Michaels = prove you’re not the back-stabber they say you are
Edge = coast into WrestleMania and nab another title shot, and Orton = win that title shot *DESPITE* the fact that you’ve worked twice as hard as Edge to get there.

In the end…

It’s made for a tremendous build to the Big Dance, and one that has really gone the extra mile so as to present fans with more nuanced, complex and believable storylines instead of some of the less well-written ones (like feuds over Shampoo commercials) we’ve seen from WWE’s creative team in the past. Kudos to all parties involved for making WrestleMania lemonade out of Edge’s lemon of a jaw injury.

Melina Told WrestleMania Match Will Determine Future With WWE
Women’s Champ in Hot Water with WWE Brass

I know this might not *sound* all that “positive,” but MeeThinks what I’m about to say is actually all the more in the best interests of the company in the long run:

“GOOD RIDDANCE… AND IT’S ABOUT DAMNED TIME.”

Melina has *clearly* been working sloppily, stiffly, and with blatant disregard for her coworkers over the past few weeks (see: James, Mickie) — and her pissant attitude backstage coupled with her in-ring unprofessionalism seems to have landed her in the WWE doghouse. Frankly, I can’t help but agree with WWE management on this one, as they can’t allow a performer (“hot” though she may be — though again, I still can’t quite seem to look beyond her gangly teeth, but whatever) to go about taking liberties with the safety of their coworkers while in the ring just because she “doesn’t like” the person she happens to be working against.

That’s how people get hurt.

Just ask Bob Holly how he feels about Brock Lesnar, for one.

People who aren’t responsible enough to “take care of one another” in the ring or to “look out for the other guy” when performing *clearly* need to get their priorities straight if they’re going to last in the wrestling business. You go around purposely hurting people? You find yourself a new job — it’s as simple as that. Melina needs to get her act together and FAST, or she’s likely to be out of work in short order.

And either way, really, it’ll be for the overall good of the company. “Attitude problem Diva” straightens up and flies right? WWE keeps themself a performer and fans get to see the continuing adventures of Melina Perez. “Attitude problem Diva” continues to be a selfish, thoughtless drama queen? WWE loses themselves a performer and fans miss out… but morale improves and fellow lady-wrestlers can return to the ring without fear of being purposely injured by a coworker.

Simple, really.

WWE Courting Chris Jericho for RAW Return
Management Wants Y2J Back in September, if Possible

I’ll keep this one brief so as not to get *too* overenthusiastic here… but if this is true? This is seriously the most awesome bit of news I’ve read all year.

Chris Jericho still has *plenty* of years worth of active competition still in him. He’s in tremendous shape, he’s financially secure (which is good, because that means he won’t push himself to work more than he needs to), and he’s one of the most naturally charismatic performers *EVER* to have graced a WWE ring — easily in the top 20 of all time, MeeThinks.

Anyhow —

Jericho made no secrets that he was feeling “burnt out” on the wrasslin’ biz when he retired to a semi-sabbatical back in August, 2005 — so now just under two full years later? Good to see that WWE still has interest in the guy and that Jericho has had the chance to get a few of those “other project” acting-bugs out of his system while still keeping up good enough relations with the wrestling business to allow for a possible return should he feel up to it (coughcoughBrockLesnarNFLcoughcough). Whether or not Jericho will actually sign on the dotted line for a full-time return remains to be seen, but it’s still very encouraging to note that Y2J is still firmly located on WWE’s radar… and that there’s every reason to believe he’ll make a return to the ring one of these days thanks to an extended, long-overdue and well-deserved respite.

This is the part where the fanboys start the “Chris Jericho to TNA!” rumors… but MeeThinks the WWE return is far more likely, so you can file all Y2J/TNA rumors under “believe it when I see it” territory.

Rene Dupree Suspended… Again
French Phenom Could Be Done in WWE

Sacre bleu!

Sorry Rene… but you’re really your own worst enemy on this one, mon amis.

Word on the ‘webz is that The French Phenom went and got himself suspended YET AGAIN for violating WWE’s Wellness initiative, and so the newly-reunited La Resistance was quickly dropped from the ECW roster page as a result. Apparently, this isn’t the first time our pal Dupree has landed himself at odds with Wellness, and so WWE’s McMahonagement is seriously considering cutting their losses with the guy and releasing him from his contract altogether.

Sucky though this is for Dupree — as I always found him to be naturally charismatic and very good at playing the roles handed his way — you really can’t force yourself to feel bad for a guy who just doesn’t know how to take a hint when it comes to WWE’s drug policy, and if he can’t get his act together and stay off the juice? I’d much rather see him cut from the WWE roster (and send a message to fellow roid-heads in the WWE locker room) than see him turn up in the obituary section ten years from now after kickin’ it at age 35 thanks to a “mysteriously” enlarged heart.

Smarten up, Rene. You’ve got the look, the charisma, *and* a fair share of that intangible “IT” factor that so many other performers would KILL to share a part of. Don’t be a moron and sell out your once-promising career to the needle, dude.

Arnold Skaaland Passes Away
Hall of Fame Manager was 82

Eighty-two years is nothing to sneeze at. Skaaland had a good, long run with WWWF/WWF/WWE, and he was heavily involved in the backstage goings-on with the company long after his in-ring days had passed. Even though its always sad to lose a wrestling pioneer, there is something quite nice to be said about the fact that the guy lived a long, full, and active life — so many wrestlers never get the chance.

John Cena Takes Part in Celebrity NASCAR Race
Champ to Star on ABC’s “Fast Cars and Superstars: Gillette Young Guns Celebrity Race”

Crossover promotion RULES! NASCAR is (love it or hate it) the biggest spectator “sport” in the United States… and while I’m still not quite sure how driving around in circles qualifies as an “athletic” activity (but then again — Poker and Scrabble are technically “sports” by ESPN’s coverage of ’em, so what do I know?), the bottom line is that a show like this has pretty much all the makings of a casual-fan ratings draw (NASCAR + celebrities = there ya’ have it).

Whether or not the show is actually all that great is ultimately pretty inconsequential. Compare *this* stunt with the Armed and Famous debacle of a few months back — the biggest star that one had going for it was what, Erik Estrada, no? This time around, they’ve got Jewel, NFL legend John Elway, tennis great Serena Williams, skateboard icon Tony Hawk, WWE Champ John Cena, WILLIAM FREAKIN’ SHATNER!!!, and a boatload more. Plus the premise is simple – celebs race cars, fastest times stay, slowest ones go home. Sounds like a pretty easy sell to Mee.

If you’re the NASCAR type (or just a mark for Cena, Serena, Elway, Jewel, and the rest) — be sure to tune in to ABC on Thursday, June 7 from 8-8:30 p.m. to see the debut.

TNA News

TNA Stars To Be Featured on Fox’s “House”
Medical Drama Will Feature Clip of Abyss vs. Christian Match from Lockdown 2006

HELL. YES.

“House” is easily the best show on network television, for my money, and I’ve always been thrilled whenever Hugh Laurie’s character throws in a passing reference to our pseudo-sport of kings. Two months ago when House was faking his way through a 12-step program, he claimed belief in a “higher power” (only to namedrop ANDRE THE GIANT as the all-powerful “Big Man” in question). Then a while back, he praised one of Cameron’s analogys by telling her he “could smell what The Rock was cooking.” Now we get a TNA snippet to hammer home House’s pro wrestling fandom?

I repeat…

HELL. YES.

Here’s why I love this news…

First and foremost, it sneaks a pro wrestling moment into mainstream television — never a bad thing.

But perhaps even more importantly, it does so in a manner that’s likely to be FAR less “gimmicky” than so many sitcoms before it (see: That 70’s Show, Married with Children, The Drew Carey Show, etc.). For unlike so many other shows that simply trot out a one-off “wrasslin” episode simply for the sake of a gimmick when they run out of other ideas (“oh no! Comically mismatched roommate gets pulled into the ring by masked roidhead grappler! Stay tuned for shenanigans!”), the inclusion of a pro wrestling match on this show ACTUALLY FITSs in with the established character of Dr. Gregory House… thus making the ‘rasslin reference far *less* “gimmicky” and quite a bit more “matter of fact” — as if to say “yeah, I watch pro wrestling… got a problem with that?”

So to sum up —

House rules, pro wrestling rules, seeing pro wrestling referenced so “matter-of-factly” on mainstream TV rules, and House “matter-of-factly” digging pro wrestling rules all the more.

Goldberg Says TNA Should Sign Him
Former Champ Says Upstart Company Would Pick Him Up “If They Knew What Was Good for Them”

I’ll keep this one brief: Bill Goldberg is an ass who thinks he’s bigger and better than the business who made him a c-level star. He wants crazy money to come into TNA, and he wouldn’t be happy unless he’s “booked properly” which means that he’s not likely to be satisfied until TNA jobs their entire undercard roster out to him.

To put this one to rest once and for all —

Goldberg is dellusional and severely overestimating his value in the current landscape of professional wrestling. If acquiring a widely-respected FULL TIME competitor like Kurt Angle didn’t do much to change TNA’s fortunes overnight, there’s no reason to believe that signing a part-time, semi-regular (and not all that well-respected) performer would do anything more to convince the “smart” or casual fans that TNA was the place to be. Plus, Goldberg’s a one-trick pony whose schtick only works when hes fed TONS of undercard guys to rack up a win/loss record over. TNA is having enough trouble establishing home-grown stars the way it is… what sense is there in squashing the few that they *have* managed to create (and emptying their pockets along the way in order to cover Goldberg’s exhorbitant salary) simply for the sake of feeding “Da’ Man” and his ego?

TNA, you’re better off without Bill Goldberg. He’s years beyond relevant, and clearly only in the business for himself.

Don’t waste your time or your money on the guy.

War Games Headed to TNA?
Modified Team Cage Match Set for Lockdown PPV

Well, yes and no.

What we’re actually looking at here appears to be an eight-man tag-team match (captained by Cage and Angle) inside a “Lethal Lockdown”-style Six Sides of Steel. So basically, it’s a tag team cage match with a lid on the roof. A solid and intriguing match, no doubt… but techically speaking? Only one ring instead of the prerequisite two… so “War Games,” this is not. Regardless, I’m looking forward to this bout which should be a pretty kickass affair come Lockdown next month.

But this leads Mee to a larger point, actually —

Even though I’m one of the token “positive” guys around these parts, I’ve gone on record for three years now (and will continue to do so) about how dangerously ineffective an all-gimmick PPV can be. While the concept of a three-hour cage-PPV is admirable, I’ve always felt that “TNA Lockdown” pretty much waters down the cage match stipulation to the point where the cage match gimmick becomes overexposed. And just like last month’s Destination X trotted out something like 8 or 9 different “gimmick” matches in one night, each one more outlandish than the last — Lockdown does the same sort of thing by totally overloading a card with gimmick matches to the point where the very gimmick itself (namely, the cage) becomes so commonplace that bookers have to find “new” and “creative” ways to pimp the exact same thing that was once your surefire PPV selling point.

This year’s show is a perfect example:

You give ’em a cage match, they want two cage matches.
You give ’em TWO cage matches, they want a PPV of ’em.
You give ’em an all-cage PPV, they want MORE gimmicks on top of that.

And since you’ve already exhausted the “cage” gimmick, you’re forced to offer up different twists on the same idea… leaving you with a PPV (like this one to come) where you’re pushed into an “Electrified Cage Match” (can you say “Chamber of Horrors?”), AND a eight-man Lethal Lockdown Match that fans are already begging should be turned into an all-out War Games match.

In short?

While their efforts to compete with WWE and UFC are commendable, TNA is simply overdoing it and they run the risk of burning out their fanbase with all of these increasingly-ridiculous gimmick matches along the way. If a two-man CAGE match doesn’t get you to tune in, and an EIGHT MAN CAGE match is already being written off as second-rate… than what reason have we to believe that a simple one-fall-to-a-finish match without any gimmick will be reason enough for fans to catch the next PPV after Lockdown?

In other words —

Ease up, TNA. Gimmick matches can be used to great effect if they’re used sparingly and with discretion. If you oversaturate your programming with too many of ’em, you run the risk of looking like a second-rate stunt show… and we all know what became of Wrestling Society X.

Speaking of our favorite experiment gone awry…

WSX News

Teddy Hart Bound for WWE?
Slam Wrestling Says New Hart Foundation Could Be in the Works

Well since this is the “positive” column of the lot, I’ll do my best to refrain from taking ad hominem pot-shots at the great Teddy Hart’s backstage behavior problems, deal? Regardless, the guy is as solid as they come when placed in a ring (“without a concussion”), and his generational ties to certifiable WWE “Legends” could easily play to his heelish-best favor if given a chance (and a serious overhaul to his attitude).

Rumor has it now that WSX seems all but finished, Hart should be “full speed ahead” to sign with WWE and (with luck) find himself aligning alongside fellow real-life Hart family relatives Harry Smith and Nattie Neidhart for a “New Hart Foundation” stable. A solid (if nostalgic) approach, to be sure, but a risky one when you consider just how successful the “ORIGINAL” Hart Foundation (the stable, not the Anvil/Hitman tag team) was. After all, we all know that the “new” version of many a stable has failed to live up to the standard set by their predecessors (see also: The “New” IV Horsemen, The “NEW” new World order “silver and black”, etc.) — so perhaps WWE should be careful staying *too* close to the Hart Foundation moniker here if they are really serious about using these three performers for a longer-term investment and more than just a quick payday off of what happens to be their famous last name.

That said —

Keeping the three paired together is a smart move… I just dunno if I’d go about billing them as “The NEW Hart Foundation,” simply because fans can’t help but compare “new” with “old,” and so these up-and-comers might not be given a fair shake on their own merits, ya’ know? Perhaps a better idea would be to still pair all three together, but then give the faction a new name that plays off of their predecessors *without* being so blatant as The “NEW” Hart Foundation. After all, wrestling has LONG seen one too many “new” stables in its time (WCW’s “New Blood,” ECW’s “New Breed,” shoot… even the umpteenth incarnation of the “NEW World Order”) — and saddling Teddy, Harry and Naddie with yet another “NEW” moniker might just come across as nothing but a derivative rehash of the same old, same old.

Heck, give the stable a name like “Bloodline” (see? It’s still a play on The “H(e)art Foundation”) or something, that way you’re paying referencing to the predecessors while steering clear of the word “NEW” *and* you’re simultaneously allowing the stable to form an identity unto itself without inviting such a blatantly “new” versus “original” comparison.

Just look at Evolution, for example…

Even though the group inevitably found itself compared against the IV Horsemen of old, Evolution was able to avoid being written off as simple another in the long line of “NEW” Four Horsemen stables — and as a result? They were able to forge quite a respectable (and UNIQUE) identity for themselves along the way. Sure, comparisons were drawn — but MeeThinks the same approach could prove incredibly effective for the “NEW” Harts.

So good luck, Teddy. Keep your attitude in check! And WWE — if you’re really serious about making this one work — do these second-and-third-generation talents a favor by forging an identity for the group that doesn’t *entirely* rely on the famous footsteps of their predecessors, yes?

MTv Pulls Wrestling Society X Finale
Network Nixes Promotion’s Swan Song

Can’t say we didn’t see this one coming.

Apparently, last week’s WSX marathon (which I swear I was one of about three people to have watched) saw a continuous decline in the ratings as the hours wore on. At the outset, they were drawing 0.5’s… but by the last episode? Less than half of those viewers remained. Now true, that last episode wasn’t aired until something like two in the morning (Eastern U.S. time), mind you… but the fact remains that MTv’s “industry analysts” were probably right in deducing that if the WSX fanbase was as “hardcore” as they were hoping it might have been, then the small (but vocal) minority in support of the promotion surely would have turned out for one last hurrah, right?

Wrong.

MTv made a difficult (but ultimately smart) call by pulling the series as they did. The bottom line is that it just wasn’t clicking with wrestling fans (many of whom viewed it as “too gimmicky”), and it was clearly outside of their target demographic who’d much rather tune in for an episode of The Hills. As a result? We few WSX fans will probably have to wait ’till the finale makes it to DVD if we’re ever to see a man’s face plunged into a pool of flesh-eating fish. Tough break, but again — with the numbers being what they were, there was really no other choice in the matter.

On the bright side —

Rumor has it that all WSX contracts were set to expire “90 days after the season 1 finale aired” — and since the network doesn’t seem to have any real interest in airing the show’s “official” finale, then it’s probably safe to assume that the promotion’s penultimate episode (the last one aired in the wee hours of Wednesday mornin’) will count as the start of the 90-day-no-compete clause each of its performers signed. So now it’s just a race to see who among the WSX alumni gets a contract *where*… and *when*.

Smart money, MeeThinks, is on guys like Teddy Hart (WWE), Matt Classic a.k.a. Colt Cabana (WWE), Aaron Aguilera (WWE or TNA), Jack Evans (TNA), Syxx-Pac (groan… pick a fed), and on a longshot, Matt Sydal (TNA? perhaps…) to be among the earliest “success stories” to emerge from the rubble of Wrestling Society X, but then again — this *is* professional wrestling, right? So anything can happen!

General Wrestling News

Ricky “The Dragon” Steamboat Once Again Owns Rights to His Wrestling Name
Born “Richard Blood,” Steamboat Settles With Ex-wife to Reclaim In-Ring Name

This is one of those honest-to-goodness, no-strings-attached “GOOD” news items that we rarely see in this often-shady world of pro wrestling.

Basically if you hadn’t been following the story on this one, the gist of things amounted to Ricky Steamboat finding himself on the short end of a pretty nasty divorce settlement — one that saw his (now ex-)wife walking away from their marriage with a lien on the “Ricky Steamboat” name, thus preventing Ricky Steamboat The Dragon Richard Blood from earning any future revenue through the continued use of any variations of a name stemming from that of his in-ring persona. That meant all autograph signings couldn’t be advertised as “Ricky Steamboat,” he couldn’t draw income from merchandise sales with “The Dragon” or the Ricky Steamboat name, and he had a hell of a time for the past few years booking personal appearances without being able to bill himself under the well-known guise of his in-ring alter ego.

Thanks to this latest settlement, however, it appears that all is now right with the world, and the man born Richard Blood can once again draw a paycheck thanks to the in-ring “Ricky ‘The Dragon’ Steamboat” identity and persona he made famous not so long ago. Even better? Now that Steamboat’s got the rights to his name back, a career DVD and/or a WWE Hall of Fame induction could easily be in the works as soon as next year (this all is total supposition on my part, I should note) — since now there are no remaining legal troubles or snafus likely to be encountered should WWE choose to advertise the “Ricky Steamboat” name in the future.

Looking forward to seeing Ricky get his due in the near future!

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

That’ll do it for Mee again this week, folks. Thanks for all your feedback, e-mails and the like, and my sincere apologies for not having better incorporated them throughout this column over the past few weeks. These news reports are pretty lengthy the way it is, ya’ know? Sometimes concessions have to be made for the sake of one’s carpal tunnel, I suppose. ‘Till next week — enjoy the early signs of spring (if you’re in the Western hemisphere), stay tuned as WrestleMania winds its way to the Big Dance on April 1, and always stay positive!

– Meehan