The MeeThinks Saturday Spectacular 03.24.07

Let’s get to it, eh?

Rock & roll.

WWE News

Wellness Pop Tests Backstage at Smackdown!
Two-Dozen-Plus WWE Stars Tested for Controlled Substances

A classic case of “closing the barn doors after the horses have already gotten out,” but a good move on WWE’s part regardless. In the wake of the Sports Illustrated steroid article that fingered a number of WWE’s current-and-former top-level talent in a pretty sizable steroid abuse ring (naming names on folks like Randy Orton, Edge, Kurt Angle, Rey Mysterio and Gregory Helms), WWE has really stepped up their efforts to prove that the company is “on the up-and-up” when it comes to testing their talent for drug abuse and the like. And even if they’re only testing talent for the sake of appeasing the latest investigation — ANY reason to get your roster off drugs is a good reason, in my humble opinion.

Now then, to the nitty-gritty:

Though WWE maintains that all of the Sports Illustrated findings date back to a time *prior* to the enaction of the WWE Wellness Initiative (instituted just after Eddie Guerrero’s passing some 18 months ago), the bottom line is that mainstream media outlets are really hounding the wrestling/drug connection — and so it’s really to WWE’s advantage to clean up their act or, at the very least, keep up the facade that they *are*, in fact, cracking down on steroid abuse. After all — if a fake athlete like Sylvester “Rocky Balboa” Stallone can find himself in hot water thanks to steroid allegations, there’s really no reason to believe that WWE’s “fake athletes” couldn’t suffer the same fate.

That said…

Though some of the IWC-know-it-alls have come out of the woodwork ranting about how screwed Vinny Mac and company are at this latest development, MeeThinks it’s very important that we all keep in mind the simple fact that this is nowhere NEAR as damning or controversial as Vince’s run-in with the Federal government of some ten-plus years ago. Back then (on the heels of Regan’s “War on Drugs”), drug use and a pro athletics/steroid crackdown was all the rage as one of the great taboos of professional athletics was finally broken and new “top level” stars were being indicted and implicated on what seemed to be a daily basis. Fact is, that’s just not the case in 2007.

Bret Favre, Mark McGuire, Ricky Williams, Michael Vick, heck — even Lance Armstrong…

Yes, professional athletes (baseball players in particular) still find themselves at the heart of a media (and government) firestorm — but the bottom line is the phrase “pro athlete” and “steroid user” have pretty well become synonymous in the decade since Vince first encountered the ‘Feds… and while fans and critics alike can’t help but fascinate themselves with what big-name star is going to get busted next, it’s really not all that big a surprise when a top-level athlete sees his or her name brought up in the latest drug-bust-du-jour.

So yeah…

A smart move by WWE to continue with the pop-quiz-style Wellness Tests, even if it means some of our favorite superstars (I’m looking at YOU, Chris Masters) aren’t likely to be drawing a paycheck for the next 30 days or so. Better to lose the income in the short run and for the company to take its “we’re doing what we can” knocks in the here-and-now rather than deal with the far more substantial tragedy of a roster’s worth of dead, drug-abusing wrestlers some twenty or so years from today. Looking at the recent crop of 80’s-and-90’s-era wrestlers who’ve all died from drug-related deaths over the past few years? I’d much rather read a headline that says “Eugene, Rene Dupree, Chris Masters, Joey Mercury, Kurt Angle, etc. Suspended” today than log on to the intrawebz of 2019 only to see six or more former wrestlers all kick it in the all-too-brief course of time.

Edge Cops to HGH, Gregory Helms Likewise Confirms Steroid Use
Superstars Say They Used Doctor-Prescribed Meds for Injury

Smart move by Edge and Helms ‘fessing up to old news while still knowing he’s got a doctor’s note to cover him AND a clean bill of health (for the past 18 months) to back up his claim. Edge and Hurricane’s cases are not unusual in professional wrestling, as wrestlers (like other non-“real” athletes like you and me) are often prescribed steroid supplements in order to work their way through an illness or injury. If you have a particularly bad case of poison ivy, for example, doctors the world over have been known to shoot ya’ full of steroids to kickstart your body’s natural healing process.

These guys case is much the same — effectively broke their neck and knee (respectively), rehabbed it as best as possible, LEGIT doctors prescribed LEGAL steroid supplements to get him back on the road to recovery. Unlike pro baseball (where success is often determined by sheer size and power), there is no real advantage to juicing up for pro wrestling save for the fact that it better makes you look the part. But as any longterm wrestling fan will tell you, roided-up gym-jockeys are usually all sorts of injury prone (coughBatistacough), and even if they manage to stay “healthy” while doping, chances are pretty good that their increased size and muscle mass will result in a slower, less entertaining (and more sloppy) in-ring performance. Which — given enough time — actually proves to be quite the detriment to the guy on the juice in the first place, as fans quickly tire of musclebound meatheads who get blown up three clotheslines into a main event (see: Warrior, Steiner, etc.).

Now is steroid use dangerous? Of course.

Is it risky? Absolutely.

Is it wrong? Well, if it’s illegal.

But if it’s prescribed by a doctor for the purpose of rehabbing an injury? It’s not like it’s giving wrestlers any “added” advantage over their (scripted) competition, and so long as they can prove their steroid useage was doctor-certified? MeeThinks Edge and Helms (like many other superstars) are totally in the clear on this one. Still, it’s good to see them step up, come clean, and set the record straight.

As for those who mighta’ been receiving their “meds” in a somewhat less than legal fashion…

I’m sure you can guess why WWE yanked Randy Orton from all upcoming media appearances. 😉

Three WWE Stars to Lecture at MIT
Jim Ross, Mick Foley, and “Harvard” Chris Take Part in Communications Forum

On three Thursdays over the next month, the Comparative Media Studies program at the world-renowned Massachusettes Institute of Technology (MIT) will play host to a media colloquium (fancy academic-speak for “lecture series”) featuring a few familiar faces from the wacky and wild world of WWE. Slated to appear are Mick Foley, Jim Ross, and “Harvard” Chris Nowinski.

This is a brilliant move on WWE’s part as media studies — a field once dismissed as the “undeclared” major in American academics — is quickly becoming one of the most popular and innovative fields of study in all of academia. Formerly a field reserved for kids who simply “didn’t know what they wanted to do with their life after college,” Media Studies programs have been sprouting up all across prestigious university campuses the world over as modern technology (including broadcast, print and digital journalism) has really changed the way people percieve the field of “Media Studies.” Part business, part build-an-entrepreneur, part English and part marketing — Media Studies is hot, and MIT is (as usual) at the forefront of this increasingly-popular “technology.”

Needless to say, hitching the WWE wagons to the Media Studies/MIT horse is a GREAT move to help “class up” the WWE’s image, particularly in light of the steroid scandal that’s likely to garner them more than a fair share of negative press in the coming weeks. MIT is about as prestigious a non-Ivy-League school as they come (perhaps with the exception of Berkeley), so it’s really quite exciting to see a “legit” academic institution giving floor-time to speakers representing the global “multimedia entertainment” brand that is World Wrestling Entertainment. Sure, this probably marks the final nail in the old-school “wrasslin'” coffin… but WWE has long billed itself as more than just the “Red(neck),White(trash), and Blue(collar)” grappling promotion of yesteryear — so it’s nice to see a bona-fide academic powerhouse like MIT giving the ‘E their due in recognition that the company is really about so much more than two roided-up gym-jockeys faking their way through staged combat at your local bingo hall.

The best part is? Each of these presentations will be available for a podcast download in the days following the lecture — so even if you don’t have the grades to actually *get* into MIT, you can still catch what each of WWE’s presenters had to say after the fact by downloading the MP3 file soon-to-be available at http://cms.mit.edu/events/colloquiaforums.php.

WrestleMania 24 Headed to Orlando
WWE “Takes it Outside” and to TNA’s Backyard with Annual PPV

Three major points on this one:

1) It will mark the first outdoor WrestleMania since the critically-drubbed WrestleMania IX at Caesar’s Palace.

2) It will give Mee an excuse to book yet aNOTHER trip to Orlando for March 30 of next year (you’ll recall I’m a bit of a Disney fanatic — I visited The Mouse last July and I’m headed back there in just two weeks).

3) WWE performing in Orlando sends a clear and direct message to TNA and its fans. Namely? “Oh we see ya’, alright…”

Now then, to these points in order:

Point 1) The outdoor venue is (and always has been) a bit of a trick to pull off. When it works (think Shae Stadium), it WORKS. When it doesn’t (think Sturgis), it’s a miserable failure. Some folks are worried about the likelihood of Orlando rain… but having done extensive research (and vacationing) in and around the Orlando area, rest easy folks — late March into the month of April is actually the *LEAST* rainy season in all of the calendar year for Orlando.

See? Just like that you’re smarter than you were five seconds ago. 🙂

But anyhow, speaking of “outdoor wrestling events” in general…

WrestleMania IX usually gets a bad rap for being “the worst” ‘Mania in history… but that might well have more to do with the booking, the matches, and the performers on the card than with the actual venue itself. WCW’s annual HogRoad Wild PPV’s were traditionally a mixed bag as well — but again, that might have had a lot more to do with the *audience* (namely, a bevvy of bikers who knew very little about the characters in the ring) and less to do with the actual outdoor locale of the show.

WCW’s annual Bash at the Beach PPV’s usually were held in an outdoor venue (as was their kickass though often-overlooked “Spring Break-out” episodes of Nitro), and fans tended to receive these outdoor spectacles with a great deal of energy and excitement, particularly when the weather was nice and the shows were star-studded and well-booked. You’ll also recall that the first AND last episodes of WCW Nitro were also filmed from outdoor locales, and the crowds for both shows were (understanably) fired up throughout the performance.

So yeah —

If WWE can pull off a star-studded and exciting performance? The outdoor venue should be little to no problem whatsoever, as fans are a LOT more forgiving about the weather when a show is firing on all cylinders. If the show fails to execute, however (as was the case with WMIX and for a number of WCWHRW)… fans tend to find all the more reason to complain about having to sit outside to watch a show that’s amounting to “craptacular” at best. But again, it’s WrestleMania — so at least going into the thing, we all know crowd enthusiasm will be at a fever-pitch.

Speaking of enthusiasm…

Point 2) I’M GOING TO DISNEY WORLD!!!

Just thought I’d share. So if the column in two weeks’ time is a bit light on the information-side of things, now you’ll know why. More importantly (or more “tricky,” as the case might be) — I’ve got to scramble to find some sort of way to convince the ladyfriend to agree to ANOTHER Orlando vacation next year… topped off with a WrestleMania appearance, of course.

This might mean I’ll have to cave to her wishes and hit up Disney’s Saratoga Springs Spa for the day just prior to the Big Dance next March… but dammit, a mud mask and a pedicure are easily forgiven once you’re screaming alongside 70,000+ at wrestling’s biggest show of the year… right? [Update: She actually said “yes!” Holy crap have I found the perfect girl for Mee or what?!]

Moving on…

Point 3) The fact that WWE’s biggest annual PPV will be emanating from TNA’s backyard is a HUGE deal for all parties involved.

The fact that wrestling fans the world over will now be turning their sites toward Orlando for next March really gives the folks at TNA all the more reason to step up their game in the weeks and months to come. TNA has every opportunity to use WWE’s inadvertant “star power rub” to really punch-up the caliber of their shows, marketing and homegrown-stars in the next calendar year… and if they can successfully promote (and book) their company as more than just a WWEject refuge camp? They’re likely to catch more than a few fans’ eyes as sunny Orlando, Florida becomes virtually synonomous with “all-things-wrestling” in the next 365.

As for WWE? This is the perfect move to really clamp down on TNA’s “stomping grounds” in as full-force a manner as possible. WWE officials have long said that TNA isn’t viewed as “competition,” but the fact that these same people were business-savvy enough to book an Orlando venue for THE biggest PPV in the company’s calendar year gives us every reason to believe that the ‘E is more than well aware of how vibrant the Florida-area wrestling market might well become. As a result, WWE is coming into Orlando next March with all guns blazin — and if they can out-book, out-promote, and out-market what TNA has to put forth in the months leading up to WrestleMania? WWE could very well do the unthinkable and absolutely decimate all of TNA’s upward momentum if they come to Orlando offering fans not just a *bigger*, but an all-around *BETTER* product than the local competition.

Though a second round of the famed “Monday Night Wars” are still quite a ways from now, here’s where the gauntlet is thrown and wrestling fans the world over can just sit back and enjoy the ride.

WWE – forced to step up their game when bringing their annual PPV to a relatively-uncharted (WWE) territory.

TNA – forced to step up *their* game in hopes to not look (any more) second rate (than is to be expected).

Wrestlers from BOTH companies – get to network, mix and “consider their options” now that talent scouts and bookers from BOTH companies are likely to be stepping up their games in order to ensure that this rivalry shapes up to their liking.

SpikeTV – clearly has no love lost with WWE, andnow has all the more reason to throw effort, television time and the all-important FUNDING TNA’s way in order to give the upstart promotion a fighting chance to stave off “Big Brother” WWE.

Like I said, folks — should make for a great time to be a wrestling fan.

WWE Releases Rebecca DePietro
Former Diva Search Contestant Axed on Thursday

Funny that the moment I received word of Rebecca’s firing, I just so happened to be perusing another story from TNA-land talking about how unpopular and “talentless” THEIR resident backstage bombshell, Leticia, has become as of late. But one quick listen to Rebecca’s God-awful backstage interview segments on ECW confirms it — Leticia is MILES ahead of where Ms. DePietro left off. Plus she’s totally cuter, if ya’ asked Mee.

Rebecca is no loss, though if I had to speculate (and if you’ve kept up with the backstage gossip for the past year or so), it probably does go a long way in telegraphing the outcome to Batista vs. Undertaker at this year’s WrestleMania (as if you hadn’t guessed the outcome already).

Why’s that, you ask?

Rebecca was rumored to have been romantically involved with Batista backstage a while back. Real nice, considering Dave was in the process of divorcing his Cancer-stricken wife at the time, but that’s another issue altogehter. Though recent reports regarding the Rebecca/Batista tryst have been spotty and not all that frequent (meaning they could well have been “done” as an item for some time now) — bottom line is that backstage OMG GOZZIP for the longest time was that DePietro simply landed her gig by virtue of her association with the Animal.

And now that she’s gone (and the Smackdown! lockerroom is apparently buzzing with anti-Batista sentiment, of late) — MeeThinks this is about as good an indicator as we’re likely to get that Batista’s backstage clout is rapidly on the decline, which could be a pretty solid hint as to how the WrestleMania World Title bout between Big Dave and The Dead Man is likely to wind up.

Here’s a clue —

WWE didn’t just fire Sara ‘Taker, ya’ know?

(If WWE were clever, though, they’d give ‘Taker the win at WrestleMania while STILL keeping the belt on Batista. Yes, screwy finishes are NEVER popular ideas at the Big Dance — but if you wanted to pull the trigger on an all-out Batista heel turn? Nothing better than having the guy score a cheap loss while still holding onto the belt at the biggest show of the year!)

Originals Done After WrestleMania
WWE Rumored to Have “No Plans” For Sandman, Sabu or Dreamer

The knee-jerk reactionaries are calling this the “final nail in the coffin of ECW,” but in all honesty, folks — this isn’t really all that big of a story. Let’s take a second and look at the guys likely to be most affected by this recent shakeup:

Tommy Dreamer — came out of retirement for the ECW revival. Prior to that? He’d spent the better part of a decade jerking a curtain (and/or drinking from urinals) on WWE b-shows like HeAt and Afterburn, which pretty well erased most fans’ memory of his “ECW Legacy”. His re-retirement from in-ring competition is really no big loss, as his matches have ALWAYS relied on the hardcore stuff to pull them through — and his backstage job with WWE is likely secure *regardless* of how underwhelming he might have been in the ring over the past 12 months.

The Sandman — To wit, Sandman’s little more than a well-recognized, harcore answer to The Boogeyman — all entrance, all gimmick, very little to offer in the ring. Sandman is (and really, always has been) a brawler who relied on hardcore props and the like to keep fans’ interest throughout his matches. Now that the “new” ECW has all but done away with the EXTREME RULEZ? Sandman was left looking like a directionless fish out of water, and the guy did little more than smack a few opponents with a Singapore Cane since redebuting. Again, popular though he once was — Sandman has become something of a caricature of himself since the ECW redebut, and his (inevitable) termination certainly isn’t worth all the attention it’s likely to receive. Good run, good gimmick, served his purpose, made some money — and we move on.

Sabu — is (and always has been) probably his own worst enemy. The run-in with the law as he rode shotgun with RVD certainly didn’t help matters, and now that rumors are swirling that WWE is looking to axe the ECW Originals, what does our pal Sabu do? “MISPLACES” HIS LUGGAGE and ends up looking like a goof as he dons Daivari’s pants (a good three sizes too small) on national television. Sorry, Sabu, but if you were looking to give WWE a reason to keep you on the roster — your attitude, your antics, and your “forgetfulness” certainly haven’t helped your case. And fun though it once was to watch you sail through the air and crash through a stack of tables, bottom line is any promoter worth their weight in salt would no better than to bank on such a proven backstage liability when they’re trying to build the future of (what’s left of) their newest brand.

RVD — will continue to get a push (as he did *prior* to the drug bust) as WWE hopes to court him away from signing over with TNA. If money talks (as many suspect it will), Van Dam will bite on WWE’s offer and re-sign with them before his contract runs out in August. If he really is all that peeved with WWEllness, then Van Dam is a surefire bet to show up on ECW by year’s end… but again, it’s not like the wrestling community on the whole will have seen the last of the guy.

(Though I’ll still maintain that signing and pushing RVD to the moon is a *bad* business move, given his track record… but that’s another story).

So yeah, sucky though it is that in one fell swoop WWE is likely to lose EVERY “ECW Original” not named Balls Mahoney (still not sure how HE’s employed) or Taz(z) — at the end of the day, none of these guys are really worth crying over.

Mark Henry Balloons to 450lbs.
World’s Strongest Man Reportedly Nowhere Near Mobile in the Ring

Eesh. Not good news for our pal Mizzark, and if WWE knows what’s in their best interests — MeeThinks a Mark Henry release is probably due in the near future. WWE spent the better part of a year making Henry into a semi-believable sub-main-event star, and though a WrestleMania loss to The Undertaker certainly didn’t help the poor guy’s credibility, the bottom line is that he still had the size and momentum (and clever re-booking) to keep him at the forefront of Smackdown’s heel roster even if his in-ring abilities were of the most “limited” nature (think Great Khali).

But now, almost a year after the fact? Smackdown has a new resident “monster” (Kane), RAW is pushing the hell out of two of it’s other resident big guys (Umaga and Khali), and even ECW seems to be moving along nicely enough with it’s latest substitute for a “big” guy (Snitsky). A Mark Henry who’ll never be taken seriously is bad enough, but a 450-pound Mark Henry who’ll never be taken seriously AND who can’t even move about the ring without getting himself winded is just bad news for all parties involved. As much as you can’t help but admire a guy like Henry for having been a total company man and for really sticking through some of the most tasteless characters, angles and storylines of all time… it just gets to a certain point where *all* parties involve might simply be better off to cut their losses, part ways and move on.

Henry made good money with WWE. WWE did their best to push the guy as a monster. Tough break that he got hurt at the peak of his last hurrah with the company, but the sheer amount of effort, weight loss and momentum it would take to re-establish Big Mark as a certifiable threat is simply not worth either party’s time. Mark, take your money to a healthy retirement. WWE, don’t spend another year+ worth of storylines squashing every midcard face on your roster simply for the sake of putting the big man back in a spotlight that fans clearly would rather see reserved for somebody — anybody! — else.

Switching gears…

TNA News

TNA Management Sours Toward the ‘Web
Reads Online PPV Recaps, Swears Critics are on WWE Payroll

Wow… just wow.

The saddest part about this thing is that it’s not Vince Russo who’s coming up with some of these whoppers, but rather Mike Tenay, Don West, Jim Cornette and Dave Sahidi — men usually pretty well-respected for their knowledge of and appreciation for the fans and the industry on the whole. Even worse, all of this hubub apparently stemmed from what the TNA bookers read on the heels of the Against All Odds PPV… and if they thought *that* was bad, I shudder to think what they’ll say when they read what fans thought of the PPV that was Destination X gimmick-fest-a-palooza-on-a-pole.

In all seriousness, though —

They *are* quite right about many of the TNA fans simply getting a cheer or two going simply for the sake of “putting themselves over.” 100% right, in fact — even if some of what those fans’ might have been cheering probably rings true with the wrestling audience at large.

But regardless —

TNA management, if you are reading this, I *wish* I was on the payroll for a major North American wrestling promotion. Honest to God, it has been my dream job since the age of 10 to one day ply my skill(z) to write scripts for a major wrestling organization. I’m pretty competent, in my humble opinion, I have the grades, the test scores and the vocabulary to prove it — and I would be MORE than happy to sign on to your payroll and “fight the good fight” as we take on the wrestling juggernaut that is WWE side-by-side. And not because I dislike WWE, either (quite on the contrary, actually), but because I — like so many other writers here on 411 and throughout the IWC — am first and foremost, a FAN of this wild and wacky pseudo-sport of kings, and I would jump at the opportunity to help ANYONE involved in the industry put forth a better product so that ALL fans can enjoy the show all the more.

So consider this the MeeThinks’ answer to the Voodoo Kin Mafia’s “Million Dollar Challege” of some months ago (you know, the one where the guy they were challenging refused to so much as acknowledge their very existence):

Give Mee a chance to contribute ideas to your booking committee and I *guarantee* you that I can help you put forth a product that’s more in touch with and well received by the current wrestling fanbase. If not, you don’t have to pay me so much as one red cent, and I will happily walk away from armchair-quarterbacking your efforts and retire from “Internet Wrestling Journalism” for the rest of my life.

And now, of course, we sit back and wait for TNA to take Mee up on the challenge… just like dX did to the Voodoo Kin Mafi… oh wait, that’s right.

Moving on…

YouThinks Reader Mail:

Since this is a jam-packed week’s worth of “news” column and all, I usually don’t have the space/time to go into complete detail on all of the e-mails that come my way each week. That said, however, from time to time I do get an influx of ’em all relating to the same subject — and so a further explanation is probably warranted in such cases.

Last week I talked some (well-deserved) smack on RAW’s latest attitude problem, Melina Perez. A number of readers shot Mee TheirThinks asking (politely) where in the heck I was getting all this dirt on the poor girl’s attitude from. To those readers (and to the rest of y’all who might not be up to speed on the Melina/Mickie beef)… allow Mee to explain. My apologies for the lack of links/sources on this one — but it’s just easier to give the “rough details” here rather than chronicle the whole tiff in a detailed, stepwise manner.

But anyhow, here’s the scoop between Mickie and Melina:

A year or so back (longer now, actually) — Melina was called up to the main roster while Mickie toiled away in WWE’s developmental system. The two were never the best of friends to begin with, but (naturally) their rivalry increased when one (a Tough Enough alum) got the call-up while the other (who’d actually been working at becoming a pro wrestler for a longer amount of time) was kept in the farm system. Making matters worse, Mikie (still stuck in the lower-leagues) took umbrage to the fact that Melina’s in-ring look and moveset started looking quite suspiciously similar to her own (the puffy boots, the short skirts, etc.).

Anyhow –

The sniping went back and forth for a few months (in the age of Blogs and MySpace), with each woman accusing the other of professional jealousy, general backstage bitchiness, and ‘jacking their respective style. Things were kept pretty mild in the ring, however, as the two worked on separate WWE brands for the better part of their “e-feud” (Mickie on RAW and Melina on Smackdown!).

But THEN…

Melina came to RAW and Mickie (once the Women’s Champ) once again saw her star fade a bit as the golden-girl of WWE was given the top lady’s spot on the card. Making matters worse, Melina began earning a pretty wicked backstage reputation with everybody *not* named “Mick Foley,” and it soon became clear to those informed on the lady’s feud as to which side was probably more “in the right.” Once Foley was (kayfabe) “fired” and took time off to put the finishing touches on his latest book/media schedule/etc. — backstage voices in support of Ms. Perez all but disappeared.

So…

Melina and real-life boyfriend Johnny Nitro found themselves in the WWE doghouse (as recent as two months ago, and Nitro still appears to have been left off of the main WM23 card to date) — but WWE forged ahead with the plans to pair their latest Playboy covergirl (Ashley) against the woman currently occupying the most “over” and marketable top-level heel Diva role. De-push or no, that was still Melina — and so Ms. Perez was given the Women’s Title in order to garner some more cheap heat rolling into the Big Dance when she was set to square off against de-facto babyface, Ashley Massaro (after all, in WWE world: women willing to take off clothes = automatic good guy, right?).

So Melina had the Women’s Title (despite WWE management not being high on her) and her boytoy Nitro saw his stock bottom out for the both of ’em. Tough break, but a pretty devious one on WWE’s part (punish the BF for sticking by his GF — thus forcing him to choose “career” or “the girl”. Wickedly effective, if you ask Mee — but that’s another story). Anyhow —

Melina’s riding the “big ego but no backstage respect” wave (think Batista), and the WWE lockerroom (the ladies in particular) have had about enough of it. Candice and Mickie have been especially peeved at Melina’s antics, and (understandably) all the more frustrated because “Auto-booking 101” has pretty much blocked them out of the Women’s Title program going into WrestleMania, since WWE felt the need to push their latest Playboy crossover gal instead.

So we’ve got Melina in the doghouse, and management breathing down her neck (apparently going as far as to say “WrestleMania is her last chance”) — you’d THINK that the girl would tread lightly, right? Wrong. Two matches with Mickie (who she’s had a documented beef against for quite some time now), and lo and behold — Melina stiffs the hell out of the poor girl and starts taking liberties with Mickie under the premise of “having an off night.” Two weeks in a row, and Mickie walks out of things with her bell rung (the most recent of which was pretty darn close to a serious neck/head injury).

Now sure, you can say that Melina “accidentally” whacked Mickie a good one (or two) in their scripted in-ring build toward WrestleMania. And heck, the Perez-patrol could probably make a good case for “accidents happen” and “there’s two sides to every story, ya’ know.” And that I will totally grant them… but the bottom line is (from what we’ve been told, anyhow) Melina has a pretty longstanding track record of sketchy behavior and backstage drama, so it’s not all that unlikely that a deliberate in-ring “venting” of those backstage frustrations might find itself making TV every now and again.

But again, that’s 90% speculation on my part… so take it for what it’s worth.

Two more quick YouThinks e-mails since we’re breaking from the norm… this first one from Dan Rogers:

first off love the articles you write have some thing for you or one of your co workers to write about — either the dedication or insainity of a Mr.Kennedy fan! when i heard he was gonna be at wwe niagara falls store, i told my wife “not only will i be there, ill be first in line!”

so a 7 bus ride, a few days in a hotel, and a real long night out front of the store in the middle of march later… and my wife and i were #1 and #2 in line! if you want more info and pics to use this for a story just email me and let me know

p.s.
still have the cold i picked up

thanks
Don Rogers

That’s all sorts of intense, my friend. I seriously think there’s an untapped market for fans and their “wrestling road stories” talking about all the good times had traveling to, from, at and around the shows, performers and venues of this wild pseudo-sport of kings. Yours easily ranks up there in the list of one of the hardest-core that I’ve heard, though!

Nicely done, man! Feel free to shoot the details and/or pics my way… and any other reader with a wrestling road story of their own (you know, a pilgrimmage, a wrestling tattoo, naming one of your kids “Finlay” or what have you) — feel free to E-Mail Mee your stories and photos to be shared with the 411 community in a future column, yes?

Finally, we’ll close with an e-mail on the Single Brand PPV concept I wrote about last week… courtesy of 411’s own Nick Marsico:

Ya know, I was completely and totally against the announcement, as you can see in my column, the News to Start Your Weekend — yes, this is a gratuitous plug that I absolutely expect to see in your column next week, WITH a link that I will leave you to find, and I also DO expect you to put everything I’m currently writing in your column verbatim — but the way you put it actually makes it seem like a good thing. A good thing if that’s the way they actually intend to go about doing it. If it just continues in the way they’re doing it now, which I completely expect it to, then it’s just annoying, not a good thing. I never thought of it the way you did, though. Good bit of insight.

-Nick Marsico

Thanks for the kudos, Nick. Even though there’s plenty of precedent to suggest that WWE can totally drop the ball on a “can’t miss” idea or two (coughTheInvasioncough)… I can’t help but remain optimistic about the notion of the single-brand PPV being phased out. After all, WWE has three rosters each brimming with talent from all over the place — no reason to believe that EVERY SINGLE PPV will automatically feature the same five guys representing each brand.

Month 1: Put SD!’s World Title on the line, use a sub-main-event match to further the ECW title hunt angle (say the finals of a #1 Contender’s Tournament), and throw RAW’s WWE champ into a tag match (with a guy he’ll eventually feud against one-on-one).

Month 2: Put the ECW belt on the line now that you’ve established a PPV-tourney-winning #1 Contender, maybe do a SD! title re-match in the sub-main event, and have another non-title tag-type match where you finally pull the trigger on the RAW “partners who barely coexist” feud you teased via last month’s tag match. Setting up…

Month 3: Now you put the RAW belt on the line (with two solid PPV’s build going into it), maybe you do an ECW title/gimmick re-match as your sub-main event, and you start your process all over again by featuring your SD! Champ in a non-title/multi-man match (or an interview/backstage segment bumping into a potential challenger from another brand). Rinse, repeat, and shuffle things accordingly so that you get to…

Month 4: The payoff match to your logical two-month build for the SD! title main event… and with a clever bit of re-arranging, the entire cycle repeats itself.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

Thanks again for reading, all. Enjoy the final stops along the Road to WrestleMania this week, and I’ll be back here next week to chime in with MeeThinks on the Big Dance — might even break from the normal “news report” style and instead launch into a full-on match-by-match analysis of what *could* happen, what *should* happen, and what MeeThinks *will* happen for each of the blockbuster matches on the biggest card of the wrestling calendar year! ‘Till then, spring is in the air so go get yerselfz some fresh air! And always stay positive!

– Meehan