The Shimmy 6.25.07: The Leavers Dance

Determining just who that mysterious figure was would be a hard task. Was there anyone in Tree Hill that didn’t have a problem with Dan Scott? You needn’t look outside of his family to find a wealth of potential would-be murderers. It could have been his estranged wife Deb with whom he had been feuding with and manipulating for years. Despite living a lavish lifestyle together their marriage could not withstand the evil that was Dan Scott. It could also be his brother Keith whom he had essentially run out of town after hiring a woman to break his heart, ruining his closest relationships, and potentially sending him into a downward spiral of alcoholism. It may have been his former flame Karen Roe with whom he fathered, and then abandoned, a son. Dan continued to mess with Karen as he would pull strings to have her wealthy boyfriend Andy Hargrove fired and possibly deported back to New Zealand.

Then of course there were his two sons. His first, Lucas, was the one that he fathered with Karen. Despite having a recent attempt at a relationship Dan’s treatment of Keith had proven to Lucas that there was no living with a man like Dan Scott and he swore to take his father down once and for all. Perhaps that would even mean killing him. Dan’s second son, Nathan, had a privileged upbringing thanks to his father but he also had to deal with being Dan Scott’s son. That included pressure on the basketball court that his father made famous, mindgames within the family, and his intense disapproval and meddling in the lives of Nathan’s new family with his wife Haley James. Nathan may have stood up for his father against Lucas but he also realized that he and his mother could never be happy with Dan in the picture. The night of the fire Nathan had “something to take care of.” What exactly might that something have been?

And what’s to say that Haley herself wasn’t involved? Sure the sweet tutor girl wouldn’t be the prime suspect in a crime like this, but she would have had motive just as much as anybody. There were other possibilities as well, including Jules, the woman that Dan had paid to break Keith’s heart. Unfortunately for Jules it was her own heart that was broken as she had actually fallen for Dan’s brother, making the separation twice as painful. And then there would be Coach Whitey Durham, an institution in Tree Hill and one of Dan Scott’s most ardent adversaries. That very day Dan had threatened to have the school board remove Whitey from his coaching position after 40 great years on the job. Whitey’s response? “Don’t mess with fire, Danny, because you just might get burned.”

Dan Scott and Mr. McMahon have many things in common. They are cruel, they are calculated, they are successful businessmen, they have many enemies, and someone has attempted (and in Mr. McMahon’s case presumably succeeded in) killing them. There are parallels to the stories of Dan Scott and Mr. McMahon and there are similarities between their enemies as well. Take for instance the jilted wife. Try as she might Deb Scott could not rid herself of her husband, always managing to take him back and have to live with the evils he perpetrated. Likewise, no matter what, Linda McMahon managed to find herself alongside the Chairman of the Board. How many Divas has Mr. McMahon fondled on national television? How many evil things has “the devil himself” done to his own employees? His own family even? And yet every time you think she has an out, she gets sucked back in.

Dan Scott had two children that both had issues with him, and so did Mr. McMahon. Shane McMahon is the Lucas Scott of this equation. Shane may be part of the family, and Mr. McMahon surely acknowledged Shane more than Dan did Lucas, we all know who Daddy’s favorite is. Shane had even once vowed to destroy his father in 2001 during the InVasion, similar to Lucas’ quest to destroy his own father. With Shane being Lucas that would make Stephanie Nathan Scott. Stephanie is obviously the favorite of the two children, and yet she still has had to deal with some of Mr. McMahon’s evil ways. It was at No Mercy in October 2003 that Mr. McMahon choked out his own daughter with a lead pipe, costing her her job and humiliating her in front of a PPV audience. Stephanie may be the favorite but surely she knows what a loose cannon her father is/was. And every Nathan needs a Haley, and in this case that Haley is “The Game” Triple H. Mr. McMahon obviously disapproved of their marriage, failing to acknowledge it on TV and even waging war with his son-in-law for the better part of a year in 2006. Triple H’s love life, not to mention his career, would be infinitely less stressful without a disapproving father looking over his shoulder. At least when Dan Scott wanted to get rid of Haley he had her sign annulment papers; Mr. McMahon met Triple H inside Hell in a Cell.

Mr. McMahon once had someone that he could consider a brother, much in the same way Dan Scott had his brother Keith. Mr. McMahon had his bike riding partner and money making machine Hulk Hogan. But back in 1993 that relationship took a turn for the worse. Who’s to say when Dan and Keith’s relationship went sour but it split them apart in much the same way. Sure there were times when the two would come together, but those were few and far between. For Dan and Keith it would be after Dan’s heart attack and Keith would try to help his brother out. For Mr. McMahon and “The Hulkster” it would be at WrestleMania or SummerSlam or occasional appearances in between. But there is one event that would end these relationships permanently, past the point of reconciliation. Whether it was reading the names of Hall of Fame candidates over the radio or sleeping with the other’s wife (you can be the judge as to which goes to which pair) the relationship was broken, seemingly forever.

And what of Keith’s former flame Jules? Her anger towards Dan would be that of a scorned employee. Jules would hate Dan for taking her away from the love of her life, Keith. Mr. McMahon has a list miles long of former employees that he’s managed to take their lover away from. The lover in question could be both literal (300 days on the road for a WWE superstar is hard on the love life) or figurative (think of all the people Mr. McMahon has uttered the words “You’re firrrrred” to over the years, separating them from their love of competing in the sport of kings). If you really need an example of a femme fatale like Jules, look no further than the recently suspended Ashley Massaro.

And then there are the main rivals of these men. Let’s start first with Dan’s feud with Andy Hargrove. Andy was rich, had a good life going, and a great relationship with Karen. And what does Dan do? He takes it all away. Andy, who was once living the good life, is now gone in an instant and only mentioned in whispers weeks later. Former WCW Executive Eric Bischoff can relate. Once rolling in success staring across the war zone into Mr. McMahon’s eyes, Eric Bischoff is but a trivia answer at this point. He is a part of wrestling’s past, a formerly successful businessman that may as well be in New Zealand. He is gone, leaving Mr. McMahon all alone with his own Karen Roe.

Karen Roe, along with Dan Scott, father a child in Lucas Scott. Karen loved their son more than anything but Dan was less than enthused. Dan left Lucas to fend for himself, rather choosing to focus on his other son and his car dealership. In June 2006 Paul Heyman, along with Mr. McMahon, fathered the new ECW. Heyman loved getting a second chance, but Mr. McMahon’s attention stayed with Raw and SmackDown. By December Paul Heyman was kicked to the curb, just like an impregnated ex-girlfriend.

And finally we have Coach Whitey. Most would say that Whitey would never hurt a fly. A kindly old man Whitey is the last person one would suspect of attempted murder. However, Dan Scott threatened to take away what Whitey loved most: coaching the Tree Hill Ravens. A man will do almost anything when he’s being pushed, especially when what he loves is threatened. A mere four days before Mr. McMahon’s presumed death, the Chairman appeared on Friday Night SmackDown. He spoke with SmackDown General Manager Teddy Long about the prospect of Teddy being separated from his lady love, Krystal. In fact, Mr. McMahon seemed to be hoping for that to happen. Just like Whitey, Teddy Long was backed into a corner. Fearing losing what he loved most in the world may have forced Teddy into doing something that no one would expect from a man of his character. Love does that to you.

Dan Scott and Mr. McMahon surely have plenty of enemies. In Tree Hill, Dan Scott survived the fire and would attempt to exact revenge. He would shoot down his own brother Keith in what he thought was payback. Little did he know that it was in fact his wife Deb that tried to kill him. As of now, Mr. McMahon has been presumed dead. Is he really gone? And if Vengeance is taken, will it be directed at the right place? In 2001 the WWE locker room was convinced that Test was the mole for the Alliance. In retaliation the entire roster beat the crap out of him. A few weeks later Paul Heyman was revealed to be the mole. Keith died due to misplaced justice; Test ended up joining the Alliance out of spite. History has shown us how Dan Scott’s saga has played out. What’s next for the tale of Mr. McMahon?

Andy! Andy! At Last You Have Some Feedback!

Ray Tugman mentions another suspect in the Mr. McMahon Investigation:

What about Linda? I am willing to bet that the phrase “That bastard will never cheat on me again” was going through her mind when the limo blew up. Also, you cannot forget the ultimate Warrior–He was buried on the rise and fall of the Ultimate warrior. With Warriors mental problems and his history with the E, I would dispatch an armed detective to find out if he had an alibi

I don’t know how I forgot Linda. The Warrior is a great choice that I could totally see doing it. I could even see WWE throwing money at the guy for a few appearances. While we’re at it, what about Sid? He doesn’t quite have the history that Warrior does but there are rumors about a possible return and this is about as “psycho” as one can get.

Dan97LHS agrees with Ray:

Hi, there might be one more suspect. That suspect is the CEO of the WWE, Linda McMahon. She might have wanted to eliminate Mr. McMahon to get back at him for always hitting on the divas in the WWE. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Vince might have touched or kissed one diva too many and it might have set Linda over the edge.

Again, I have know idea how Linda slipped my mind. Maybe it was a subconscious omission because I don’t want to have to watch too much Linda on TV.

Brandon Ray has some thoughts on the Draft:

Great column of the shimmy on “whodunnit” today. I always enjoy reading it. By the way, I’m not sure if you just forgot or you didn’t catch it, but WWE had a Sunday online draft, and Regal got drafted to Raw, so sadly no Regal/Flair matches will happen. It’s sad enough that Benoit went to ECW too, but I only say that because I LOVE any match where Benoit and Regal face each other. Their matches are fantastic. Let’s pray there’s no Flair/Great Khali feud, or him feuding with Kenny Dykstra since we saw enough of that last year with the rest of the cheerleading clan. I hope he feuds with Edge soon over the title, since I loved their little feud back in late 2005 and early 2006, especially their TLC match on Raw. And yea I really do hope Flair wins the title again, if he doesn’t win that title at least once before he retires from WWE, I will truly be sad. I hope he wins it twice to be honest: once at a Great American Bash, and once at a Wrestlemania, and let it be a shocker for Wrestlemania, like he wins the MITB, something happens in the main event like a heel HHH beats Cena for the title, and HHH is weak as hell, and then all the sudden Flair’s music hits and the fans go crazy realizing what’s about to go down. That would just be one hell of a WM moment in itself. At least that’s how I pictured it when he was on Raw, but you get the idea. But great column. Can’t wait for the next one. And Happy Birthday!

A lot of stuff that happens on Sunday I don’t have time to report on before I get my column in, that’s why there was no mention of the Supplemental Draft last week. I was there live to see Regal’s first match on the Raw roster against Super Crazy and I figured the outcome of that match might indicate where Regal would fit in on the Raw pecking order. I do agree though, Regal-Flair would have been cool. I kind of like your thought process on Flair winning the title, but I think once is enough. I would hate for one win to lessen the other. Your birthday wishes are appreciated but would be correctly directed at either my girlfriend Dani or my esteemed colleague Matt Adamson. Don’t worry, you’ll hear all about my birthday come August.

Robbie Lindsay chimes in on my choosing of suspects:

Great call on that Paul London Smily Face. Lawler brought it up during the show!!!! He was so suspicious I thought that was awesome! hahaha keep up the good work.

Thanks, man. It was too blatantly obvious not too be mentioned, especially after they showed that footage a million times. It may have taken the death of Mr. McMahon but it seems like The King may start sliding back into heel commentary.

Forest George was also at the Raw show in Richmond last week, here are his thoughts:

I was at Raw last night, and I really thought Kennedy was getting a major pop at first, until he turned on the audience to re-establish himself as a heel. I was on the right side of the stage, a few rows back on the floor. Good seat to watch the show, though, but that pryo killed my ears. We had all types around me, some smarks, a redneck fat girl with her fat husband that told me Hulk Hogan had been a porn star during the Mickie James match. I told her Mickie had done porno too, and she just smirked like ‘yeah right.’ Hacksaw vs. the jobber was one of the greatest matches in the history of our sport. I mean everybody chanted USA and HOed when Hacksaw did. It didn’t feel boring from where I was sitting. I pissed Todd Grishman off at one polnt, telling him he sucked when he came out for the sign display part of the show. Oh and give Steph McFata$$ a Oscar for worst acting job ever. It was wierd because most of the people knew Vince really wasn’t dead, but the (married) redneck women I was next too just kept giving me evil looks when I started trashing her and holding up my “Hogan Did It Sign.” I could of sworn when Steph was trying to do her brave face walking down to the ring, she glanced over at my sign and smirked. What was funnier I actually got five people to shout at her “HOGAN DID IT, HOGAN DID IT!” I doubt she heard us due to her being in total overacting mode, dropping the mic and storming out in tears.

It was a great show from the arena floor, except for the damn Vince angle that is as tacky as it is stupid. restling has always been a guy’s soap opera, but its turning into a girl’s soap opera and I’m truly this close to finding another sport or sports entertainment venue on Monday nights because I’ve almost had enough. Well this might keep me from buying a few PPVs until SummerSlam – but thats about it. Then again, I can’t wait for football season.

Well, we seem to be at opposite ends of the WWE fan spectrum, but that’s OK. You were trying to get a rise out of Stephanie while I was “paying respect” (although we really should have had that dark match main event because that was a lousy way to end the show). You’re a Cena hater, I’m a member of the Chain Gang. You’re turned off by the Vinnie Mac saga, I’m digging it for the most part. I will say that your assessment of Kennedy’s reaction is right on though. On my post-show report I noted that Mr. Kennedy got the most heat of the night but that was only after we realized he wasn’t a face. His initial pop was pretty big. How cool is it to see one of those darkened Kennedy promos live? Anyhow, I’m glad you had a good time and I hope you reconsider finding some other means of entertainment.

The Shimmy Likes It Raw!

What’s on tap for tonight’s show?