wrestling / Columns

The MeeThinks Saturday Spectacular 07.28.07

July 28, 2007 | Posted by John Meehan

Welcome back, folks!

Well, if Jimmy Kimmel and company can declare “open season” on tasteless jokes about Chris Benoit — then the LEAST we, as wrestling fans, can do is to try and get back to some semblance of non-Benoit-related “normalcy” in this wacky, wild and wonderful world of professional wrestling, eh?

I mean, this week alone we saw such old-school and back-to-basics “wrestling 101” send-’em-home-happy tricks as:

The old “challenge a nameless jobber only to cheapshot him before the bell” routine! The classic “two-nameless-dudes vs. a big angry monster” squash match! The trademark “back from serious injury so I’m automatically a good guy” promo! The patented “babyface champ overcomes the odds” main event miracle! And of course… the sure-fire standby of “southern white guy throws watermellon at a delusional black fella to put him in his place!”

Ahh yes, that one NEVER gets old. In Memphis, anyway.

Now then —

Tastelessness aside, let’s see if we can’t keep the positive energy going strong this week as your regularly-scheduled dose of week-end positivity returns in full force in a little column I likez’ ta’ call MeeThinks!

On tap this week:

  • Congress Hints at Wrestling Steroid Investigation
  • WWE Signs Third-Generation DiBiase to Developmental Deal
  • Teddy Hart Ruffles Feathers in OVW
  • USA Network Still Wants More RAW
  • Edge’s Pec Surgery Puts Him Out Through November
  • Renee Dupree Gets the Axe
  • Jackass Dropped from SummerSlam
  • YouThinks: The Media and You (and Mee, and — MICK FOLEY?)
  • YouThinks: McMahon asks “If I Could Turn Back Time”
  • YouThinks: Stickin’ Up for Mike Vick. Well, Maybe…
  • YouThinks: The YouTube Debates and a Mee-stake?
  • YouThinks: The YouTube “Shooters” and Benoit Conspiracy Theories
  • YouThinks: There’s ALWAYS Money in the Banana Stand

    Rock & Roll

    As luck would have it, I seem to have become 411’s resident Photoshop pro this week, hammering out custom logos and banners for many of the columns found throughout the various “zones” on 411mania — many of which should be appearing on the 411 MySpace page and on 411 Merchandise any day now. At last count, we’d come up with some thirty or so logos! Way cool, but also way too many to link — so let’s just say “look for Mee” (well, my designs anyhow) out and about across many of the columns RIGHT HERE on 411mania (thumbs-up for Mick Foley “cheap pop”)!

    Oh right — the news!

    Congress Asks for WWE’s Medical Records
    U.S. Government Hopes to Investigate Drug Use in Professional Wrestling

    Well, there’s that.

    Longtime readers of this column will recall how ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS I believe such an inquiry to be. Hundred of US soldiers continue to die each month in Iraq and Afghanistan (with no timetable for withdrawl in sight), countless illegal immigrants continue to pour over US borders (with no legislation in sight), thousands of pregnancies continue to end in abortion every day in the US alone (pro-choice or pro-life, you’ve gotta’ admit that 3600+ a day is pretty darned staggering), and MILLIONS of US dollars continue to pay for gas prices as they climb to a nationwide average of just over $3 per gallon. And global warming? No Child Left Behind? Privatization of Social Security? Well…

    NEVER MIND THAT!!! WE’VE GOT A LIST OF ONE HUNDRED DEAD WRESTLERS HERE, DAMMIT!!! STOP THE PRESSES!!! SOMETHING MUST BE DONE!!!

    At best, this is window dressing. At worst, it’s a joke. MLB didn’t clean up their act after congress stepped in and told them to “nix nix” the doping… and fans are currently waiting with baited breath to see one of the sport’s most NOTORIOUS steroid abusers, Barry Bonds, break the all-time home run record once held for the better part of a century by baseball legend Hank Aaron. Way to go, congress… you really showed ’em there.

    Hate to say it, folks, but wrestling’s latest drug scare will be no different. Sure they’ll clean up their act in the short-term (and maybe that’ll spur smaller outlets like TNA and ROH to do the same), but if it didn’t work in 1994 when Vince McMahon was LITERALLY staring time in a federal prison in the face — then odds are high that it’s not gonna’ work in 2007 when congressmen are simply petitioning the guy to take part in their hearings “out of the kindness of his heart.” Look at WWE’s press release on the matter to see just how “serious” and hard-hitting this congressional probe is shaping up to be:“The media has provided us with a copy of a letter from the Congressional Committee on Oversight and Government Reform. We are reviewing this letter and will respond accordingly.”THE MEDIA HAS PROVIDED US WITH A COPY of the letter from congress!?!?! I dunno about you, folks, but if I were a congressman who was serious about launching a full-scale government investigation into the sordid underbelly of one shady business or another… wouldn’t you, I dunno, CONTACT THE COMPANY DIRECTLY to let them know you’re launching said investigation of their industry?

    Oh wait, that’s right… pure window dressing.

    In the short run? Being the good businessmen that they are, Vince and WWE will do what they have to do in order to allay suspicion — which means yes, if the brown stuff hits the blender, then smaller guys (or naturally huge monsters like Khali) might get a push for a short while in the immediate future, as was the case for Michaels, Hart, Sid and Diesel back in 1994. But in the long haul? Being the very same “good businessmen” that they are, pro wrestling will inevitably return to a new era of one guy saying “I’m bigger than you and I’m gonna’ kick your ass!” (it’s not that hard to see why this formula has worked for centuries, people), and it’ll be RIGHT back to normal (likely sooner than later) the moment US fascination with the drug/wrestling allegations gets replaced by the latest celebrity gossip-turned-tragedy.

    HEY LOOK! LINDSAY LOHAN WAS BUSTED FOR COKE AND BOOZE! FORMER HOLLYWOOD STARS ARE SAYING DRUGS ARE “EVERYWHERE” IN TINSELTOWN!

    Congress, please waste my tax dollars investigating drug use in Hollywood at once.

    MICHAEL VICK IS ACCUSED OF TORTURING AND EXECUTING PITBULLS IN AN UNDERGROUND DOGFIGHTING RING!

    Mr. Senator, this is obviously the fault of the National Football League. As a tax-paying American citizen, I expect a full in-depth analysis of this industry on my desk Monday morning.

    *note: Late Friday afternoon, Nike announced that in addition to delaying the release of the new Michael Vick sneaker, the company would be pulling all Vick merchandise from their stores. Furthermore, Reebok, makers of authentic and replica Falcons jerseys, announced that they too would no longer be selling Vick apparel. And NFL Commissioner Roger Goodall, who had initially allowed Vick to practice with his team as scheduled (as reported last week), ultimately caved to external pressures and suspended Vick indefinitely — “pending a league investigation of the case.” Proof once again that employers from all walks of life are always quick to clean up their act when the heat is on… and *only* when it’s on.

    AN NBA REF IS CHARGED WITH BETTING ON HIS OWN BASKETBALL GAMES!!!

    Mr. President, clearly American citizens are being victimized as the National Basketball Association not only harbors but invites such illegal activity. Somebody think of the children.

    Hey look… another dozen troops dead in Iraq! But nevermind that — we’ve got Marc Mero scheduled for a ten o’clock hearing. The Dems stage an overnight “protest” just to pout that the G.O.P. are a bunch of pigheaded bullies… and still, no vote to withdraw troops from the front lines? No time for political stunts, people, we’ve got Superstar Billy Graham on line one! Dick Cheney, meanwhile, says he’s not accountable to congressional subpoena… well, no matter — time for testimony from Chris Masters!

    All in all —

    It’s a question of priorities, and simple misguided ones at that. Things like this are PRECISELY the reason I’m a registered Independent voter — as assclowns from both sides of the political aisle clearly have no intentions of handling the bigger and more substantial issues so long as they can court a few extra “pop culture” votes out of whatever the latest hot-button issue may be. Yes, WWE’s Wellness efforts might be halfhearted and problematic, but if you think congress is any better off?

    You’re only fooling yourself.


    WWE Signs Ted DiBiase Jr.
    Third-Generation Superstar Joins Company’s Newest Develpmental Territory

    Knowing very little about Ted DiBiase Jr. other than what I’ve been able to read about the guy ’round the webz, I’d like to take this opportunity to point out just how *OLD* I feel when I read stuff like this. I mean, shoot — I’m only 24 years old here, and even though I’ve been watching professional wrestling since the day I was born (thanks, Dad!)… it’s something of a headtrip to see new star after new star come from the very same families of guys I (quite literally) grew up watching in the first place.

    First “The Rock” and “Mr. Perfect,” the sons of 80’s superstars like Rocky Johnson (and “High Chief” Peter Maivia before him, of course) and Larry “The Ax” Hennig. The 90’s served as a breakout time from guys like Dustin “Goldust” Runnels, “Grandmaster Sexay” Brian Christopher, and most recently — Randy Orton, who made his WWE debut in 2002 — hailing from the same stock of such legendary wrestling familes as Dusty Rhodes, Jerry “The King” Lawler, and “Cowboy” Bob Orton, respectively.

    And in recent years, we’ve seen an explosion of second-and-third generation talent… with guys like Cody Rhodes, Harry Smith, Nattie Neidhart, Teddy Hart and now Ted DiBiase, Jr. all making substantial waves in the up-and-comer ranks of the ‘rasslin biz over the past 365.

    In short, it’s great to see new talent coming from of the strongest stock the wrestling world has ever known. If Ted DiBiase Jr. can demonstrate so much as HALF the charisma his old man had, MeeThinks WWE fans are in for a real treat on down the road. Just think, with all of these famous families funneling legacy superstars into the ranks of sports entertainment — fans could feasibly be in store for such main-event-level showdowns as “Rhodes vs. Dibiase,” or “Hart vs. Smith” by WrestleMania 30.

    Whoda’ thunk it that legendary names like that would STILL be the ones headlining a marquis some twenty years later, right? In any case, I am most certainly looking forward to hearing more from the Million-Dollar-Son in the weeks to come.

    Since I mentioned Teddy Hart, however…


    Teddy Hart Already Earning Backstage Heat in Ohio Valley
    Superstar’s Notorious Attitude Problem Acts Up, Yet Again

    Word ’round the webz is that our good friend Teddy Hart has already begun to rub some folks the wrong way down in Ohio Valley Wrestling, where he is currently signed to a WWE developmental contract. Anyhow, the latest news reports are saying that Hart pissed some folks off by being — surprise, surprise — a cocky and entitled prick, gabbing away on his cell phone during backstage meetings, half-assing it through training sessions (and/or skipping them outright!), refusing to help clean up the arena, etc.

    Sigh…

    Anybody who’s followed the career of the Hart family’s latest problem child could have told you that this sort of thing was to be expected, as Teddy has earned something of a reputation for himself as being one of the most unprofessional guys in the industry today. That said, chances are good that WWE probably had a pretty similar take on the guy prior to offering him a developmental contract earlier this month — so I really don’t think that this latest “screwup” is going to merit all that much of a response on WWE’s part.

    In Ohio Valley? Classic case of (thinks he’s a) “big fish in a small pond,” and so Teddy Hart being a disrespectful wiseass is a big deal. And since the Internet Wrestling Community is knee-jerk for all semblance of backstage gossip — it’s not hard to see why even the smallest incident could be blown out of proportion simply because it’s an otherwise slow news week.

    In WWE? Teddy’s got the famous last name, the in-ring abilities, and a fair share of marketability working in his favor — and so odds are good that the company could well be willing to take each of his antics with a grain of salt, in hopes that the youngest Hart sensation can “get it out of his system” while on Ohio Valley’s watch, so that he’ll be a full-on company man by the time he gets the inevitable call-up to the big leagues. Of course, it certainly doesn’t hurt that the “big leagues” also just so happen to be populated by a TON of established stars — Undertaker, Bradshaw, HHH, Michaels, etc. — who would be more than willing to pull a newbie aside backstage and “put him in his place” (ifyaknowwhatImean)… but that’s a story for another day.

    All that said —

    Kids who grew up in the business seem to land in one of two very distinct camps. On the one side of the fence, you’ve got these second-gen superstars who show up from day one with a tremendous respect for EVERYTHING related to professional wrestling (Cody Rhodes and Harry Smith come to mind). On the other side of the fence, you’ve got second-gen startups who walk into the industry with a chip on their shoulder, either because they’ve “got something to prove” in the shadow of their famous relatives, or because they’ve been raised with a silver spoon in their mouths and told since day one that they were destined to be a wrestling superstar (Hart, Orton, take your pick).

    In any case —

    If you come from a family that’s famous enough, WWE (and most other companies, for that matter) has proven TREMENDOUSLY willing to overlook some of the smaller “attitude problems” and indiscretions along the way. Randy Orton, for example, has been suspended for drug abuse at LEAST once (not to mention that whole torn-up hotel room incident earlier this year) AND LOOK WHERE HE IS TODAY!

    Again, Orton is also a natural heel and a pretty marketable draw as far as WWE is concerned… so ultimately it boils down to a simple cost/benefit analysis whenever one of their “troubled” second-generation stars runs afoul of a company behavior code. Will Teddy Hart’s famous last name be enough to keep the kid afloat in spite of his backstage antics? Tough to say, but again… take the story as it stands now with a grain of salt, as it’s not like there isn’t a precedent for this sort of thing.


    USA Network Wants More RAW
    USA Exec Bonnie Hammer Pushing McMahons for Bigger Ratings, More Programming

    We covered this one three weeks ago, so I really don’t want to waste my keystrokes in repeating myself verbatim since last time. Here’s the long and short of it, though…

    1) USA wants high ratings.
    2) WWE (usually) gets high ratings.
    3) The Benoit tragedy has lowered WWE’s ratings.
    4) USA still wants high ratings.
    5) USA is pushing WWE to step up their ratings, and hopes to make RAW a three-hour-show every week.
    6) WWE says it can’t keep up, cites burnout, overworked talent, etc.
    7) USA still wants high ratings.
    8) WWE needs to play nice with the network — churns out more stunts/programming.
    9) USA still wants high ratings.
    10) WWE catches flack every time they pull a stunt (the limo bomb) or a performer dies (Benoit, Kronus, etc.)
    11) USA still wants high ratings… and nobody points a finger at THEM to “ease up” on their demands.

    Coincidentally, USA Network is owned by the kind folks at NBC-Universal, the same people behind major news outlets like MSNBC, NBC’s national news, and (believe it or not) the web-side of such national print publications as The Washington Post and Newsweek magazine. Yup, the same people who’ve joined in the fray with the CNNs, FoxNewses, and CBSes of the world and spent the past month tearing into WWE and the wrestling business for being “unfair” and “too demanding.”

    “Hi kettle, you’re being too black on the people who work for you!”
    – Pot

    Nothing else worth saying here, really, except that it’s both sad and awfully convenient that so many of the same network execs who literally make their money off of WWE and its performers are just as quick to demonstrate ZERO accountability when bad things happen to performers on “the Smackdown,” “that show we’re using to hype ‘Who Wants to Be a Superhero?” and that other one “we’d really like it if it were three hours long.”


    Edge Ungergoes Surgery for Torn Pec
    Injury Worse Than Expected, Puts Former Champ Out Through November

    Eesh.

    The good news here is that even though the doctors found an injury worse than what they’d initially expected, the bottom line is that they *did* indeed catch the injury in time, and so they probably saved what’s left of Edge’s career along the way.

    A second “good” thing of this latest twist of fate for the Rated R Superstar is that, particularly in light of the Benoit tragedy and its fallout, MeeThinks our buddy Edge (and the WWE officials around him) will be PLENTY sure that each and every medication he takes to rehab this latest injury will be closely monitored and 100% “on the up-and-up” with a LEGITAMITE doctor’s prescription. Fact is, Edge was one of several superstars implicated in the Sports Illustrated drug investigation way back in March of this year — and Edge was also very upfront about his past drug use, the LEGALITY of his pharmaceutical endeavors, and his later attitudes towards the stuff after everything was said and done. Here’s a refresher, originally published on March 21 of this year, courtesy of Edge’s MySpace blog:

    If you are reading this blog and it sees the light of day, than that means that an article has been written by a Sports Illustrated writer that states I received HGH from a pharmacy in 2003. So, I’ll cut right to the chase like I always do. It’s true. However, it’s not exactly breaking, earth shattering news. It’s actually old news. I admitted to this on national television in Canada in 2004 on Off The Record. When host Michael Lansberg asked me if I’d ever taken steroids, without consulting me before the show, I was perturbed, but answered without hesitation, “Yes, I have.” In hindsight, I’m glad he asked the question. It got it out in the open and anyone who follows my career or supports me already knows this information about me. I won’t try to defend my actions. I took them when coming back from my spinal fusion neck surgery when I was told by doctors that it would help the bones grow back around the screws and plate that were now inserted in my neck. I’m not glorifying. I’m not condoning. Just telling you why I decided to take them. I took blood tests, consulted doctors, read up, studied them, got prescriptions, and decided to do it. That’s pretty much it folks, but I wanted you to get my response straight from me and not through the words of another writer. Now as I’m sure most you can tell, I don’t take steroids and haven’t in a very long time, long before the WWE drug testing wellness policy was implemented. Hell, I barely see the inside of a gym anymore, let alone take performance enhancing substances!

    So, in closing, to the columnist (not the Sports Illustrated columnist, but actually another one) who said a “roided up thing called Edge” was at the NHL ALL Star Game a few weeks ago, in 2003, this may have been true. Now, not in the least, as my random urine tests, which have always been negative will attest. I guess I’ll take the fact that he thought I was as somewhat of a compliment. To the fact that I’ve been lucky enough to have been gifted with a 6 foot 5, 240lb body naturally. And finally made it to the top of my industry last year on my own, clean as a whistle. To those, like that columnist and any other naysayers that will hold my past against me? I’ve made mistakes. Will do so again in the future I’m sure. But I won’t hide from them. If you’re reading this, you know that’s not my style.

    In short, Edge has “learned his lesson” regarding drug use — perscription or not — when rehabbing injuries. He’s personally come under fire for doping allegations (despite having a doctor’s prescription for his meds), and he knows damned well that his employer simply can’t afford to lose another high-profile star to a steroid scandal. Moreover, just prior to his injury, Edge was quite literally more popular and successful than he’s EVER been — and so the chances that he’d risk not one but ALL of those aforementioned factors by rushing through a drug-feuled rehab seems pretty remote.

    In other words —

    Yes, it sucks that Edge went down to injury. But thanks to past experiences, professional hardships and personal tragedy — MeeThinks the Rated R Superstar will ultimately bounce back stronger than ever on this one; more importantly, he’ll do so in a manner that fans and skeptics alike would be hard-pressed to criticize, and one that could well serve as a model for future injury rehabs on down the line.

    On the flipside, it seems as if this next story is something of the “yang” to Edge’s “yin”…


    WWE Releases Rene Dupree
    Former Tag Champ Canned Thursday Afternoon

    The buzz on this one, as expected, is that Dupree is little more than a “fall guy” for the failure that is the WWE’s Wellness Initiative. Basically, conspiracy theorists (and revisionist historians alike!) are coming out of the woodwork to suggest that the only reason why WWE fired the guy was because they needed a good patsy in the wake of recent media scrutiny and the Benoit fallout. Cut a midcarder and it looks like your drug policy is working, ya’ know?

    However, MeeThinks that it is pretty important to note that Dupree’s problems with WWE’s Wellness program actually predate the Benoit tragedy by quite a few months. You see, Dupree’s case isn’t just a simple matter of a “one-and-done” drug problem. Heck, in March of this year, I reported on Dupree’s latest run-in with WWE’s Wellness initiative (which many believe was actually his SECOND violation of the company’s drug policy), saying:

    Sacre bleu!

    Sorry Rene… but you’re really your own worst enemy on this one, mon amis.

    Word on the ‘webz is that The French Phenom went and got himself suspended YET AGAIN for violating WWE’s Wellness initiative, and so the newly-reunited La Resistance was quickly dropped from the ECW roster page as a result. Apparently, this isn’t the first time our pal Dupree has landed himself at odds with Wellness, and so WWE’s McMahonagement is seriously considering cutting their losses with the guy and releasing him from his contract altogether.

    Sucky though this is for Dupree — as I always found him to be naturally charismatic and very good at playing the roles handed his way — you really can’t force yourself to feel bad for a guy who just doesn’t know how to take a hint when it comes to WWE’s drug policy, and if he can’t get his act together and stay off the juice? I’d much rather see him cut from the WWE roster (and send a message to fellow roid-heads in the WWE locker room) than see him turn up in the obituary section ten years from now after kickin’ it at age 35 thanks to a “mysteriously” enlarged heart.

    Smarten up, Rene. You’ve got the look, the charisma, *and* a fair share of that intangible “IT” factor that so many other performers would KILL to share a part of. Don’t be a moron and sell out your once-promising career to the needle, dude.

    Here we are just about five months after the fact, and it’s clear that Dupree wasn’t able to “take the hint” that was dealt his way back in March (many sites are reporting that Dupree was hooked on Somas since redebuting for Ohio Valley in June of this year).

    Sorry, WWE-haters, as much as you may well LIKE to belive that our friend Rene was no more than a scapegoat in the wake of the Benoit murders, this actually seems like a well-documented and long-time-coming case of a “three-strikes-you’re-out” infraction. In April, WWE was considering axing the guy for a Wellness violation — which is NOT the kind of notion a company entertains the first time a performer “mysteriously” tests positive for a controlled substance. Four months ago, he was sent to rehab and then worked his way back into Ohio Valley, and it was discovered that he STILL hadn’t kicked the habit… even AFTER the Benoit murders gave so many media-and-industry watchdogs their “wake-up-call” in late June.

    So yeah, Dupree might be a “fall guy” in that he just so happens to be the *first* star fired for Wellness issues since the Benoit tragedy — but his case is by no means the *RESULT* of the Benoit tragedy, as the guy most certainly had it coming for quite some time.


    Jackass Opts Out of SummerSlam
    Knoxville Gets Cold Feet in Light of Benoit Tragedy

    From the moment this angle was announced in June, I was severely skeptical as to how this entire angle would play out. Yes, it was undoubtedly an easy move in terms of mainstream media crossover appeal (even though Jackass is just about 8 years past relevant these days)… but from the word “go” I was seriously worried as to what, exactly, the payoff to this entire crossover would be. In other words — would any new stars be made out of this thing? And once Johnny Knoxville bowed out, WWE was just left with second-tier guys like Steve-O to lead the charge. But would anybody really CARE?

    A few more “‘Thinks” on the matter that were swirlin’ through my head in the weeks just prior to this angle being scrapped:

    1) Let’s say the limo bombing angle hadn’t been scrapped and the Jackass gang was revealed to have played a role in the payoff to it all. Would that *really* have left WWE with anywhere to go in terms of making a new star once Knoxville and company took their nipple clamps and went on their merry way?

    2) Jackass + X-Division = enough said.

    3) Even if Umaga was out to beat these screwballs three-on-one in a legit “shoot”-style showdown at Summerslam, who’s to say that Steve-o’s trademark “professionalism” (or complete lack thereof) wouldn’t come back to bite WWE in the ass on all this? What if one of the Jackass crew decided to no-sell the Samoan Bulldozer’s offense on LIVE pay-per-view? Kinda breaks kayfabe, if you ask Mee, as it’s pretty tough to watch a bona-fide WWE LEGEND like “The Showstopper” Shawn Michaels find himself incapacitated at the hands of the Samoan Spike when the exact same move couldn’t even put a relative-nobody like Bam “pranks his dad” Margera down for the count.

    4) Shoot, what if the Jackass crew started throwing some “real” punches at a WWE mainstay like Umaga? You mean to tell Mee that the guy wouldn’t just haul off and stiff the hell out of those clowns?! As if the mainstream media needed ANY more ammunition against professional wrestling (“Crazed WWE Savage SNAPS! Details at 11!”) — I can imagine the lawsuits now!

    In other words —

    There were a TON of kinks to be worked out of this angle from the get-go, and in all honesty, it’s probably best for ALL parties involved that the project was scrapped before anything worse happened.


    YouThinks Reader Mail

    James Giles starts us off with HisThinks on the WWE stars and their recent string of media appearances:

    I absolutely agree with your assessment as far as who, where and to whom interviews are given. Kennedy voiced his opinion, but didn’t really champion the cause. Finley did slightly better. Cena came off as the most articulate, which stands to reason as he has had the most promo time.

    However why not use JR, JBL, Foley (who admittedly looks like what the media would portray the fans to look like, toothless and disheveled) or Chris Nowinski. Both Foley and Nowinski have crossed over into the written media realm with varied degrees of success. Since we have voices from Washington attempting to make names for themselves on the back of tragedy (which seems to be mandatory to have that type of job) Nowinski has proven that he can make the rounds in that area. Where has Shane McMahon been? I’m sure he could take time to speak with Larry King or someone else and do a better job of holding up a conversation, even if it is biased against wrestling from the outset.

    – James Giles

    Good question, James. JBL is a bit of a touchy suggestion, as even though he’s ridiculously articulate and would probably jive nicely with the conservative bent of such WWE critics as O’Reilly, Geraldo and Limbaugh — he also has developed something of a reputation for himself for being a bully and a hothead whose prone to some serious errors in judgment (the Nazi salute, for example). Though I’d love to see him go toe-to-toe with O’Reilly, I just dunno’ if WWE wants to open that can of worms.

    As for Nowinski and Foley, both are quite plausible suggestions. And believe it or not, BOTH of these men did provide a number of interviews and commentaries to quite a few news outlets in the wake of the Benoit murders. Certainly, neither of these two guys received the same level of fanfare (or indeed media attention) that the more mainstream guys (Cena etc.) were able to bring — but then again, Mick and Harvard Chris seemed (by and large) to be pretty darned introspective in reflecting on the issue (as evidenced by the fact that they interviewed with PRINT media over BROADCAST outlets), and most of the tv-media outlets looking to book a “talking head” wrestler for their program were a lot more concerned with “who’d make for a good shouting match” (Finlay) than who’d make for a more heartfelt commentary (Foley).

    Shane McMahon, by all accounts, is and always has been a LOT more comfortable working the “business end” of things and leaving the rest of his family to be the “public face” of things… but Stephanie pissed a lot of folks off with her public comments on WWE television after 9/11 — so I suppose you could just as easily understand why the McMahons opted to keep their children off of television.

    Reggie Thomas poses a most interesting question:

    Hey there Meehan, love the column. I’m sitting reading over your newest musings and got to thinking, what would Vince Mcmahon give to make the past 12 months NOT happen? Think about it, since June 06, the following has all happened.

    1. RVD/Sabu arrested, effectively killing all momentum the new ECW might have had.

    2. Kurt Angle’s firing/depature to TNA.

    3. They decide to do joint brand PPV’s with focus on mostly 8-10 wrestlers, who if I’m not mistaken were: Rey, Booker, Undertaker, HHH, Shawn Michaels, Cena, Lashley, Randy Orton and Edge…..and then they watch as 6 of them go down with injury for months.

    4. The Vince Limo Explosion, which was to be a summer long (if not longer) who-done-it, but was killed off (pun not intended) by..

    5. The Benoit thing.

    Just thought i’d get your imput on those. Keep up the good work.

    – Reggie Thomas

    If you flash back a few months earlier and include the Eddie Guerrero passing, I think you’ve hit the nail right on the head there, Reggie. WWE has had a rough go of things, of late, and with drug abuse being so matter-of-fact both in wrestling AND outside of it (as evidenced by our good friend Lindsay Lohan’s latest arrest)… they’re really quite “damned if they do, damned if they don’t.”

    Eddie’s death was the result of the company’s drug policy not being stringent enough. Angle’s firing, RVD’s suspension, Sabu’s problems, and the false-start to ECW were all the result of just the opposite — a drug policy that worked all too well (at the cost of the overall “product” quality). Meanwhile, the number of wrestlers going down to injury in the past year have indeed been pretty staggering — but again, we see plenty of torn muscles in that bunch, which is usually a classic sign of performers coming off of a steroid regimen too far or too fast.

    Quite a mess, really. And even though *everybody* involved is personally responsible for his or her own actions in these sorts of things — you’re absolutely right that it’s gotta’ be particularly hard on Vinny Mac, as few people ever say anything about the guy unless things are going poorly.

    Josh Picard Plays devil’s advocate and comes to the pseudo-defense of accused animal abuser, Michael Vick:

    Hey Meehan —

    I know you write a wrestling column, and you do a damn good job. Always entertaining reading. However, since you decided to bring up Mike Vick, I thought I would chime in.

    I have also wondered if there is a double standard regarding the treatment of Vick as opposed to Pacman Jones and Chris Henry, but there are a few things to think about…

    1 – Pacman’s accomplice shot up a strip club in the off-season, not while his team was preparing for a season that begins in less than six weeks. To suspend a starter just before the season begins is detrimental to the entire TEAM, especially if Vick is cleared in the matter. I admit this is a weak opening argument.

    2 – By all accounts, Vick is cooperating with the league, where Pacman didn’t help his image by going to a strip club the night before he was scheduled to meet with Roger Goodall. He was alledgedly present at a strip club shooting in Atlanta recently as well.

    3 – It truly seems this Commish is taking things on a case by case basis. Jared Allen is the starting DE for the Kansas City Chiefs and was actually convicted for two drunken driving incidents. Allen is no star…he’s a 6th round pick making less that Pacman, but has been contrite and is performing voluntary community service. As a result, his supension was reduced from 4 to 2 games. (And you can argue that his admitted crimes are far worse than Vick’s…drunk drivers killer thousands every year.)

    4 – Vick still has not been credibly placed at the scene of the crime. Pacman was shown on surviellence videos and ID’d by over 80 witnesses both instigating the melee and fleeing with the shooter. He has thus far refused to cooperate with LVPD investigating this triple shooting that left one man paralyzed.

    Much as I despise anyone who could harm a dog, I think the league has taken the appropriate steps thus far. Vick will suffer far more if convicted, (jail time, loss of pay, loss of endorsements.)

    I don’t know if this is much of an argument, I certainly don’t want to get into it. Just my thoughts on the matter, since you brought it up.

    – Josh
    Las Vegas

    Interesting letter, Josh — and thanks for writing! To your points, in order.

    1) You’re right in noting that this one was a pretty weak opening argument. In other words, it’s not all that plausible to say “crimes are OK just so long as they’re done well in advance of the season, folks.” Criminal activity is just that, CRIMINAL activity… and while a player’s actions undeniably affect his entire team, it’s not like giving an employer two weeks’ notice before quitting, ya’ know.

    2) Apples and oranges, dude. Pacman is accused of shooting up a strip club — he’s not being indicted (or suspended, to my knowledge) merely for having GONE to a strip club in the first place. Things like the Minnesota Vikings infamous “party boat” prostitution scandal from last season would be the kind of thing where a performer would wanna’ avoid all further run-ins with sex-related-entertainment until the dust settled. As for Pacman? Sure strip clubs ain’t the brightest idea in the world for a guy trying to make himself look good… but he’s not being condemned for simply GOING to strip clubs, he’s being condemned for (allegedly) SHOOTING at one of ’em. There’s a big difference.

    3) In the abstract, yes, Allen’s crimes ARE far worse than Vicks as drunk drivers DO, in fact, kill or seriously injure thousands more folks each year (I should know — I have a cousin who was severly injured by a drunk driver). However, neither case is being tried in the *abstract* — rather each case is being tried in the *particular*: that is to say, not “what you COULD have done,” but rather “what you’re ACCUSED of doing.” Drunk driving is dangerous, irresponsible and wrong, but (thankfully) Allen’s actions didn’t land somebody else in the hospital or worse. Vick’s actions, on the other hand (if true), demonstrate an individual who has literally delighted in ritualized combat, torture and execution for the better part of a half-decade. Yes, one endangers PEOPLE while the other simply endangers ANIMALS — but damn dude, five years!? We’re not just looking at a guy who made one (or two) “bad decisions” and got behind the wheel when he was too sloshed to drive… we’re talking a sadistic pattern of behavior over MANY years, here.

    4) You’re right that Vick has yet to be implicated, and for that (at least in the court of LAW) he should indeed be given the “benefit of the doubt.” Regardless, Vick is facing FEDERAL charges — and federal indictments in the U.S. boast just north of a 95% conviction rate. That is a HUGE number, and even though the federal courts have yet to hear Vick’s case… bottom line is that their track record shows pretty solid evidence that the ‘feds don’t just go about charging folks with a crime unless they’ve got a damned good reason to believe that the accused will, in fact, be convicted.

    And come on now, “I didn’t know they were doing that stuff on my property?” Is that *really* the best Vick could muster? I’m sorry man, but if *I* owned a multi-million dollar estate, you could BET that I would do everything in my power to make sure that I knew what all was going on at my house at all times. Security cameras, fences, guards, you name it — I don’t spend millions of bucks on a home just to say “well, I was out of town” when transients use it “without my knowledge” for a massive underground operation FOR FIVE WHOLE YEARS.

    Also, if I’m a self-respecting breeder of pitbulls (a dog breed that NOTORIOUSLY gets a “bad rap” as being particularly violent and aggresive), one of the FIRST things that I’d do would be to make sure that the dogs coming from *my* breeding establishment aren’t helping to earn the breed, my business, or my name itself any *worse* of a reputation that it may already have. In other words, if you’re a dog breeder and you know the animals you sell are notoriously scrutinized for their aggression… doesn’t it make sense to, at the very least, CHECK YOUR BREEDING FACILITIES to make sure that nothing sketchy is being done to the animals coming from your property?

    Maybe you can look past the “rape-stand” as nothing more than an industry standard (if a grisly one) for the breeder you’ve hired to tend to your business. Fair enough. But five years worth of “secret” meetings going on under your nose on a multi-million dollar property? Sorry Michael, but you didn’t make the playoffs THAT often. Couple that with the fact that a dead dog carcass or two seems to turn up on your property every few months, and that should be enough to tip you off that something isn’t right with the guys running your kennel. Oh yeah, and then there’s that whole matter of authorities discovering blood-soaked, carpet-lined pits on your property… you’ve got to be pretty dense to either a) have no knowledge that the thing existed in the first place, or b) have no possible idea what a contraption like that might be used for when there are 50+ pitbulls less than 100 yards away.

    Rob Dow keeps Mee honest:

    Hello

    I’ve gotta say, I really enjoy your column and have since you joined 411mania. However, I have to disagree with your comments about the other “IWC’er” posting about presidential candidates discussing wrestling on YouTube.

    Now, don’t get me wrong, I agree that the original “news item” was ridiculously inane. But instead of simply pointing that out, you started by focusing on a typo and a misspelling. Ordinarily this criticism wouldn’t bother me, despite the fact that typos and/or misspellings are relatively common on 411mania, as well as the rest of the IWC. However, it doesn’t exactly help your argument when you yourself misspell the word “pastime” a few paragraphs later!!!

    Maybe you were just having an off day, but I think you can do better than that.

    – Rob

    Thanks for the heads-up, Rob. My point wasn’t just to pick on the initial news item’s simple spelling error (we all make ’em) — but rather to point to the larger issue that the thing took itself so damned seriously DESPITE the fact that it was riddled with some pretty fundamental gaffes along the way.

    Coming from someone who worked for five years in the realm of public relations, rule number one is that if you’re breaking a “big” story, you make sure to get all of your details out there in as precise, ACCURATE and professional a manner as possible. Calling the YouTube debates a “huge” story only to rush out word of this “monumental” announcement in a web release that can’t even be bothered to spell the most basic of words properly — well, that should tell you a lot about the credibility of the announcement itself.

    Josh Irving takes the YouTube questions in a different direction

    Hey what’s up Meehan. I just wanted to ask you if you ever checked out any of the youtube shooters. There’s these two guys on there named bill and doug who say that the wwe sucks and everything they do is complete garbage but then they say that tna is great and have better storylines and matches. They seem oblivious to the problems tna has right now they treat it like it’s no big deal. They’ve also made some pretty moronic claims about roh saying that the company doesn’t have any stars and they aren’t competition compared to tna. My main concern is that so many people who have no wrestling knowledge buy into this crap hell they over 4000 subscribers. I think you should check these guys out and give a review on them i’m suprised nobody on 411 hasn’t already done so. If you want to see there videos type in wwe sucks tna rules.

    -Josh Irving

    Sadly (or perhaps not), Josh, I have not yet seen anything from the self-proclaimed “YouTube shooters.” Then again, there are PLENTY of crazy and deluded people out there in the world today — and thanks to the intranetz and a web cam or two, just about EVERYONE with as much as a half-cocked opinion and a dial-up modem can turn themselves into a veritable overnight sensation.

    Some quotes/discussions/”expert opinions” that I’ve ACTUALLY encountered over the past three weeks courtesy of the World Wide Webz…

    1) Chris Benoit was killed by the US government because he learned the truth that 9/11 was actually an inside job perpetrated by the US Government.

    2) The Benoit Murders were actually the secret work of a satanic cult who broke into the family’s home and ritually executed them as part of an elaborate pagan ritual.

    3) Chris Benoit lived in Atlanta. Michael Vick plays for Atlanta. Vick lives in Blacksburg, Virginia and went to Virginia Tech… and, of course, Blacksburg Virginia and Virginia Tech was home to the most devastating school shooting in history earlier this year. The shooter, Seung-Hui Cho was supposedly a fan of “Friday night wrestling.”

    As you can see, there are a LOT of half-cocked whackjobs out there with an opinion to share on just about EVERY topic under the sun. Heck, some might even say that this column itself is really no different than that sort of thing. Regardless, the aim of this column is (and always has been) to provide the Internet Wrestling Community and the FANS of pro wrestling across the world a chance to sit back, relax, and try to make some LOGICAL sense of all the negative “knee-jerk”-type stuff we see and hear so much of throughout these hallowed world wide webz every seven days.

    Oh, and speaking of hallowed… [SPOILER] as someone once so famously said, “all is well.” So there’s really no point in getting worked up over what two asshats with a webcam have to say, ya’ know?

    T.J. Mulligan ends things on a high note:

    First off, thanks for giving me something positive and humorous to read in the weeks following he Benoit Tragedy, which was very rare to find on the ‘net. This e-mail isn’t about wrestling, though. I wanted to send you a major “hell yes” for using a quote from Arrested Development. As perhaps the greatest live action comedy ever on television and easily the best show ever to be cancelled before it’s time, I want to thank you for keeping it’s memory alive, even if just in a small reference.

    – T.J.

    Glad to have been of assistance, T.J. Arrested Development is, far and away, the BEST television show of my lifetime (sorry, “Walker: Texas Ranger”). Glad to see that there are still other AD fans out there keeping its legacy alive, even if it is just by way of non-sequitir remarks in your weekly wrestling column, ya’ know?

    “My gut is telling me no… but my gut is also very hungry.”

    Keep the dream alive, my friend. A.D. 4 Life.

    And With That, I’m Outta’ Here…

    That’ll do it for Mee this week. Hope y’all enjoyed our return-to-form and a break from all of the Benoit news of recent weeks. Till next time, enjoy these final days of July and get ready for the August summer sun ( 28 days and Disney World HERE I COME!!!), be sure to check out 411’s other columnists for a little MeeThinks-graphics-scavanger hunt, and *always* stay positive!

    – Meehan

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