Wrestling’s 4R’s 11.02.07: DX is Back, ECW is Halloween, Hardy is Gashed, Angle is TNA, Tenay is Offended, Dreamer is Paul, Foley is Cheap and More!

iMpact 10.25.07:

The Right:

Awesome Kong vs. Angel Williams – If there is one thing that TNA is doing right it is the booking, thus far, of Awesome Kong. She comes in and destroys Gail, the company’s top female face. Has a great showing in the gauntlet and has to be eliminated by numerous people. Gail wins the title and you Kong is in line for the title shot soon. She comes off of the PPV pissed off and ready to kill, and unfortunately for young Angel Williams, who happens to be a FINE piece of ass and looks to have earned a TNA contract, she was the victim of Kong’s rage. They had a 2-minute match, Kong destroyed her and looks unstoppable. They have done this completely right and I am loving the TNA women’s division right now. KONG~! This was the only clean finish on the show.

Pacing and timing – Let’s have a refresher for reference: I still feel that they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 15-18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. I think that is an important thing. They need to show enough wrestling to make people want to buy a PPV. No one buys a show based off of 2-minute matches, run ins and no finishes. And I would suggest I am right, look at TNA’s buyrates.

So that being said I think that 35-40-minutes a week of wrestling should be the goal with the 2-hour show. Week 1 had 39-minutes, week two 2 had 29-minutes, and week 3 had 27-minutes. We saw some improvement this week as we jumped up to 33-minutes this week, which is a marked improvement, and what they should be doing. The overall flow of the show felt better this week as well, so reward time for TNA!

puRgatory:

LAX and The Steiner’s vs. The VMM w/Roxxi, AJ Styles and Tomko © – This was our opening match. I don’t know why they had the match because VKM and the Steiner’s didn’t seem to have an issue, but I guess they were trying to build to the LAX vs. AJ/Tomko title match for the next week. They had a fine match, nothing extra special but nothing bad either. The issues I had here were the ultra GAY tights Kip insisted on wearing again, he needs to stop that. Horrendous. Also was the ending, LAX are faces and the #1 contenders, they should win clean. Instead we had the Voodoo Queen get involved and then the “Mystery Latino” got involved, and LAX had to cheat to win. Great faces there. It was fine, but the finish took away from what they tried to do later in the TNA Title match. TO THE BACK!

Fight for the Right Tournament Bout: James Storm w/Jackie Moore vs. Eric Young – James Storm and Eric Young faced off this week in the Fight for the Right tournament. This meeting was actually set up perfectly because Young won the Gauntlet on Impact, rolling up Storm to do so, and when he won the reverse battle royal, that placed him into the match with Storm. It is one of those good “saw it coming” deals. They had a really fun 5-minute TV match, the crowd was into it because they are into both guys and is was going very well. Of course the end saw wacky interference as Storm ended up hitting Jackie, and Eric, being a gentleman checked on her only to take the last call to be pinned. Of course we had unexplained arguing from Storm and Jackie. No one is allowed to get along in TNA! And then they oddly three Young a beer, why? Who knows. This is TNA. It was fine, but the finish took away from what they tried to do later in the TNA Title match. TO THE BACK!

The Wrong:

Fight for the Right Tournament Bout: Junior Fatu vs. Robert Roode – While the match wasn’t completely horrible, due to Robert Roode busting his ass, it wasn’t great either. Seriously, I give Roode ***** for his performance in this match, Fatu was horrible. There are so many problems with KISH. First of all they gave away valuable time for this guy. He came in out of shape and unmotivated. Roode carried him last week, as KISH was so blown up he had to go to a knee and use one hand for covers, because he couldn’t get up if he went all the way down. HORRENDOUS! He was in four TV main events if I counted correctly, showcased even and taking away time from people that need and deserve it more. This was just a bad move on TNA’s part. And yes Cook, it is a “major tournament” because it is for a title shot. I know the set up is ridiculous, but the fact is that this is important. Finally, they had to rebook the tournament and place someone else in his place. I won’t spoil it completely, but the fact that they now have to come up with a cover story to drop him because they were A) Stupid enough to bring him in, and B) Too dumb to lock him into a contract. This was, indeed, another in a long line of mistakes that TNA has made, just like bringing in Savage with no deal, test with no deal, and probably 100 other things I am forgetting. Thankfully he is gone, but the damage has been done. The end saw Joe cost Roode the match, MORE OUTSIDE SHENANIGANS~! And again, the finish took away from what they tried to do later in the TNA Title match. TO THE BACK!

The Ridiculous:

Angle wins the Title – I discussed this in fact or fiction, and will use that here. It was BULLSHIT for many reasons, and of course I shall explain them here. First of all you have the fact that for three straight years at Bound for Glory TNA has crowned a new champion (Rhino, Sting and Sting.) Rhino lost the title on TV, in a screw job just days after winning the title. Sting lost the title few weeks later to Abyss on PPV, where they re-invoked the old title can change hands on a DQ deal. Now for the third straight year the title changes hands, very shortly after the win and that sucks. Secondly there is the fact of HOW they lost. It is the same stuff again, and basically I have come to expect the bullshit. There was bullshit in the title changes at the show, and then in them losing the title. BULLSHIT I say! Thirdly, and this is along the thinking on the second fact, is that they obviously wanted to try and create controversy with the way they did the title change. And I will say that a fuck finish CAN work to create that controversy and get people to buy shows. That all being said it didn’t work here. You have Mike Tenay throwing a fit about there being a non-clean finish to the match. Well apparently he misses the 4 or 5 crap finishes on this show or the fact that 96% of the TNA Title matches for the last FIVE FUCKING YEARS have had some kind of a screw job finish. NO, this was not a smart move, it was just bullshit plain and simple. TO THE BACK!

BULLSHIT!

The Ri-GOD-DAMN-diculous:

Team 3D BERRIES The X-Division Even More – This week we saw an X-Division match of Havok vs. Petey Williams vs. Shark Boy w/Neck Brace vs. Sonjay Dutt. But you see this was not a match that meant a damn thing, this was just a reason for Team 3D to come out and beat them down. 3D came out and said that this was a crappy match with crappy wrestlers, they beat them down and put them through tables yet again. Thus far not only have 3D BERRIED the entire division with beat downs, but verbally on the mic. They are two guys and they are defeating upwards of 4-men now with little to no effort. 3D has mocked their size, looks, and the style of the division that has made that division, when hot, great. While the X-Division is not perfect, it has fallen so far from grace that it is almost as nonexistent as the WWE Cruiserweight Division. This is a once proud division that was what made TNA different and exciting. This is the division that delivered a ton of must see matches. This is the division that when TNA would run 2-hour PPV’s highlighting the guys, would draw the best buy rates. The division made TNA different and exciting, and now they are a complete joke. TNA has forgotten what made them different, what could have set them apart from the WWE. The MCMG’s may get a win, but I doubt the creative team has enough talent to get the division out of this rut they are in.

From: Team 3D
To: The Motor City Machine Guns and the Entire X-Division
RE: BERRIED

Love,
Ray and Devon

TO THE BACK!

SmackDown 10.26.07

Greetings from beautiful Portland, Oregon! Yes, I am actually on holiday, visiting old friends and new (had a great time in always awesome Seattle a few days ago, too!), yet still do I have a job to do to here in The R’s. Unfortunately, being the techno dullard that I am, I bought the wRong kind of recordable DVDs, so, that, as well as being on holiday, will likely contribute to being a bit of a subdued version of the SD! R’s. However, I should be back next week covering Raw (collective groan from the forums).

The Right:

A vote for JBL is a vote, uhm, wasted – Not that JBL is bad by any means, but who in their Right mind doesn’t think Steve Austin will be voted in? Not even the almighty Mick Foley stands a chance. Anyway, the main event was what it was. JBL continues to be an antagonistic jackass giving Undertaker/Batista 4 a lot of heat without the combatants having to really say or do much against one another, which is fantastic, considering the absolutely flat build their other series of awesome matches was given. I hope JBL is continued to be used in this fashion and it’s my sincerest desire that the World Champion and The Reaper of Wayward Souls can recapture the magic they had prior to this contest.

Damn you, Larry, I was all set with that Lita/Matt/7-inch gash joke! – So many reasons he’s the boss…hahaha! He who recaps gets the first crack at the humor, I suppose. Another supposed clue that McMahonagement is turning Rey? Unless I miss my guess, he was the first to act out against his mismatched partner, as well as pulling the typical chickenshit heel move of refusing to tag his partner. Those are blatant heel actions, folks. Anyway, this was a damn fine match, as it should have been, considering the level of talent in the ring. MVP and Matt are gold together, Matt and Finlay are always damn stiff (uhm…EW) and of course Matt and Rey work wonders with one another and it all came to play here, even once Matt did his imitation of The Dead Man from the Brock Lesnar HITC match. Damn, that was eff-ing BRUTAL. Like, Steve Corino brutal. I was figuring they’d go with the Finlay-leaves-Rey-to-suffer-and-die gimmick, but they didn’t; Finlay actually grabbed the shillelagh and, in the word of The Boss, SHACKALIACKI-ed Rey, allowing MVP to hit The Playmaker for the three. Great stuff, good momentum for all involved, still another gutsy performance by Hardy and, in the end, the hard way gig on Hardy’s part actually seemed to bring MVP and him a little closer together, as MVP appeared concerned and took the ball home. Great stuff!

Just two good ol’ boys…never meanin no harm – Jesse & Festus should really come to the ring in them Duke Boys’ General Lee. Hey, why not pair up the Diva Search winner with them dressed in Daisy Dukes and have Festus, tongue lolling in his gaping mouth, just stare at her boobs during promos? Anyway, they kicked the shit out of Son of Mister Perfect and Tremendous Tom in record time, continuing their dominance. Time to hook them up with Deuce & Domino and get the first undercard tag team angle underway since the days of the SD! 6!

WWECW in the house – Wow, this is actually the first time I’ve seen Johnny Nitro as John Morrison; what a great look! I wish he’d have cut a promo as I understand his ability on the mic continues to improve, and that he’s really embracing this new gimmick (which I don’t really see as a new gimmick, so much as Nitro growing up, but that’s another topic for another time). Nice to see The Miz evolving, too! I actually was upset that he was traded to WWECW, because I saw some genuine improvement in the ring in the weeks prior to the kidnapping, erm, trade. And of course, Big Daddy V is the character good ol’ Mabel should have been playing all along. Really, for those of you who haven’t seen old school Abdullah The Butcher or One Man Gang matches, this is pretty much what they were like and you really should check some out. This was a fun match made better by JBL’s commentary. He discussed, as the match unfolded, the obvious psychological benefits of Morrison and Miz working together to negate V and then try and hurry to pin one another before V recovered and beat the shit out of them. Which is what happened. Good fun and I might now have to start checking out that WWECW stream.

purgatory:

Silverback versus Monster – I really had higher hopes for the contest involving Mark Henry and Kane…maybe that’s my fault from the start. But they really were working a psychologically sound match, whereby Kane was selling some tender ribs going in (I don’t see the harm in having taped them, but that’s no fault of the performer) with Henry focusing a solid and intelligent attack based on such tender ribs. You know (and Larrold is gonna kill me for saying this), I’d have even been cool with Big Daddy V and/or Khali coming out to keep their issues going, resulting in a DQ, because, although I really enjoyed what we had for the bulk of the match, Kane just pulled a Hogan, no sold the injury as well as the punishment he’d received all match and actually chokeslammed Henry (with the arm on the side of the injured ribs, no less!) and got the pin, just like that. I’m all for keeping Kane strong, but, unless there’s some kind of punishment deal going on in Henry’s regard of which I am unaware, this seems like a waste to have built him up so far, just to make him job fodder for other already-established stars.

Why do you continue to violate me, Vickie – Okay, I’m going to go easy on this. I still have faith that we’re going somewhere with this whole Vickie Guerrero/Jamie Noble thing and that it will somehow figure into the issue regarding how she acquired her position as General Manager of SD!, although since Kristal Marshall, Vickie’s partner in crime, got her bitch ass fired, it makes me wonder if that whole end of the angle is just going to be scrapped and we’re getting this business with Noble as Creative tries to come up with something else…? At any rate, at LEAST Noble is on TV on a weekly basis and people generally have something to feel for him, whether it’s humorous or pity, and that’s good. I just wish he’d be allowed to wrestle up to his actual potential, but, as I said, we’ll see what happens.

The wRong:

The Fab Four – Wow, did the VIP Lounge opening bring this show to a screeching halt out of the box or what? I won’t even harp on the fact that Rey Mysterio and Finlay shouldn’t be able to stand next to one another and manage to converse peaceably. The problem is, neither of these guys are particularly well spoken; Finlay manages to improv well, however, and I’ve noticed this in other promos, his timing is for absolute SHIT. There’s all these awkward silences and then he pipes up just as to whomever he’s speaking begins responding and they end up talking over one another. Then factor in this new crap I complained about last week with Rey speaking more Spanish than English (I SWEAR this is going to turn him, whether McMahonagement wants it or not) and this was just an absolute bust. The format, where MVP allowed these two to converse free form, was a BAD move and shouldn’t have been green-lighted. Things did pick up some once MVP turned the attention to Matt Hardy and himself, and they did offer some amusing one-liners here and there to keep this completely out of the toilet, but altogether, a completely embarrassing opening this week.

The Ridiculous:

NADDA~!

Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: [email protected]

Raw 10.29.07

The Right:

HBK and Vince again…but it works – HBK came out to the ring this week to thank the fans of voting him into the WWE title match at Cyber Sunday. The good news is that he dropped Orton again with the superkick, but the bad news is that he got nailed in his small, steroid shrunken testicles. Hey, he said it not me. Ok, not in that many words, but that’s what he was getting at. He explained that he won by DQ and was entitled to another match and wanted it NOW! Vince came out and said that he knew HBK wanted to be champion, but that he wanted more. He wanted revenge for having to sit at home. And HBK agreed. When he came back in 2002 he vowed that he would go out on his own terms and the fact that Orton almost did that angered him, and he vows to do that to Orton while he is in his prime. While in a way it is the same old, same old, it was a great job by both men and I really enjoyed it.

Paul London vs. Lance Cade/Plus a Love Story and Men in Skirts – Make no mistake, this stuff wasn’t by any means GREAT and or MEMORABLE, but what it did was give these people personalities, a reason for people to care for them or hate them. The tag team division is lacking is such a way, they almost never get promo time or any kind of character development time, so the fact that they did it this week is a cause for celebration in my eyes. We saw Murdoch backstage and he had a rendezvous with young Mickie James.

She thanked him for saving her last week, and he admitted that it wasn’t directly to save her and that he isn’t that innocent. Mickie alluded that she wasn’t that innocent either and then Cade walked in and cock blocked Murdoch. He told Murdoch to be focused because he is why they lost last week, and then told Murdoch that Mickie was out of his league. COCK BLOCK~! Cade and London had a fun, yet short match, which saw Kendrick almost die with a dive onto Murdoch. Cade won the match, and afterwards The Highlanders came out and laid out London and Kendrick, while Cade and Murdoch watched on very concerned because these guys, although done out of nowhere, have been made into threats again.

Jeff Hardy and DH Smith vs. Carlito and Mr. Kennedy – First of all I have noticed that they have already made Harry Smith “Johnny Boots and Tights.” They dropped the UK music and gave him generic stock music and dropped the tights he had with the Union Jack and the Canadian Maple Leaf. They also explained the “DH,” “D” is apparently for Davey Boy and the “H” is for the Hart family. Why did they have to complicate things? Shit, he is Davey’s son, Davey was married into the Hart family, we know this, and we don’t need the shitty name to help us know that. There was nothing wrong with Harry. They made that way too complicated. Assholes. But I will say that it was smart to have him tagging with Hardy. Hardy is over huge and being associated with Hardy is not a bad thing onscreen like this. Harry got to play Ricky Morton, minus the child support and drug issues and did well. Jeff got the hot tag, ran wild and pinned Carlito and all was well. This gives Kennedy and Hardy interaction, but doesn’t give away another singles match and elevated Harry via association with Jeff. This worked to me, and I liked it.

I love Santino and Beth! – I can’t help it, if I didn’t before I am loving Santino. He came out this week and blasted the WWE travel department for ruining his travel plans, which stopped him from being at Cyber Sunday. Assholes the lot of them! But the good news was that he didn’t have to watch the Condemned on the in flight movie. Just then the glass shattered, and the crowd popped and “Stone Cold” appeared on the titan tron. “Stone Cold” was Santino dressed up, and he proceeded to say that Santino was right and agrees that Santino would open the can of ass whip on him. He “sipped” a beer and walked off. Maria then came out and said Stone Cold would be there next week, Santino laughs it off and leaves. This will lead to the confrontation, hilarity and then the stunner they have been building forever. Sometimes that stuff bothers me, but Santino is over because he can talk, not because he is a great wrestler, which will hold him back. I will be fine with this.

Beth was also great this week on the mic. I have been critical of her, but this was great. The good news about Candice not being seriously injured (as in career threatening) is that they could then play off of it this week. She was just awesome. Beth explained that Candice’s hard work was all for nothing. She tried to be a great wrestler but failed. Now Candice can go home, sprout of some kids, wait tables and live the life of a failure because the Glamazon took her out. FTW BETH! Very good stuff from her, now if they could only decide to put time, effort and dedication into the division around her we may have something.

puRgatory:

WWE Divas Halloween Battle Royal – I have tried to take the approach that this is just bullshit filler. The WWE Women’s division is a joke, they don’t care about it and that’s something I have to accept. I do not like it in any way, shape or form, but that’s just the case, it is a fact. Now this mind of match does NOTHING good for women’s wrestling and that is the gripe here. But I also know that it wasn’t designed to do that. It’s just a shame that they won’t do something good with the talented women wrestlers that they do have. BUT I have to say that this battle royal had its moments. The first was the absolute AWESOMENESS that was Victoria. The outfit, the banzai drop, just everything she did made me laugh and that was great. Kelly gets the win, and then things were good as Beth came down to kill the little dancing hussy! I laughed, I saw hot chicks, Beth killed a bitch and it was fine. Now if they could only put that much effort into the division for real.

Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly vs. The World’s Greatest Tag Team – I have liked the Holly/Rhodes respect storyline since it began. Holly does have credibility with fans due to his tenure with the company, and Rhodes needs more ring time and the time to develop properly. He may have been brought up too soon, but if they take their time and work his push very slowly, then it will all work out I feel. So while he lost to Holly, he was able to earn his respect and this week they tagged against the WGTT. They have their first match this week, and it was fine for what it was. Short, very short, and Cody ends up with the win. I wish the matches could have some more substance, because these three-minute matches won’t get anyone over. The end was funny though as Cody was so happy they won he wanted to give BOBCORE a hug, which was not met with happiness. He gave him a stern and fatherly look and Cody backed off. He just wants to be loved.

The Wrong:

Hornswoggle vs. Jonathan Coachman – I may be in the minority here, but this like the main event angle did nothing for me. We have seen shenanigans between Coach and Hornswoggle for weeks now and they finally decide to give us a match, one no one asked for. Not only do they give us this match, but also they trot out Mick Foley to be a special referee for it, Mick Foley people. I guess it’s true that Mick Foley will do anything for money these days. It was pure comedy, but coming out of Cyber Sunday and heading into one of the biggest PPV’s of the year I feel that there should have been more focus the fallout from that Cyber Sunday show, and then the build to the Survivor Series. While the live crowd reacted well to this, the quarter hour ratings have shown that the segments with Hornswoggle have not done well. I suppose that Mick Foley was a request from Bonnie Hammer. Oh well, they can’t all be winners.

The Ridiculous:

A blind man saw this coming – And we are referring to the main event here. Once the main event of HHH vs. Umaga and Orton was announced I think we all new what was coming. First of all we had another handicap match, which we ALL know I love. Secondly we just saw this same match a couple of weeks ago. I had no need to see it again. Thirdly the match was barely 2-minutes, and even though it was that short, HHH ran wild and DOMINATED nearly the whole time. WHY? 2 on 1, he should have been dominated to build the drama. Which brings me to my last point, which is the HBK run in. We all saw it coming, there was no drama in the build or the moment, it just happened and we all knew it would happen. It just did nothing for me.

ECW 10.30.07:

The Right: Believe it or not, Nothing of Note.

purgatory:

Elijah Burke gets back on track: We opened up the show with Elijah Burke taking on Jimmy Yang Wang as part of the Smackdown/ECW talent exchange and for what it was worth, it was a decent match. Burke had his slip ups during the match, which hurt overall, but Yang helped that fact thanks to his usual athletic showing. But Burke has been dropping fast and this match helps to get him back on track, but doesn’t make me believe that he is any closer to a title shot against Punk. He needs a high profile victory and Jimmy Wang Yang is not it.

It’s a Monster Mash:This isn’t a wrong because it was exactly everything I expected it to be. It was nothing more than four big men trying to show off their power and being very sloppy in doing so. Big Daddy V screwed up his version of the Blackhole Slam. Mark Henry almost collapsed trying to pick up The Great Khali. Besides the match was fine, but this is ECW and the first person eliminated was the only ECW wrestler in the match. That makes ECW looks like shit, even if Big Daddy V really is below all of the other three guys. The ending was something though and that keeps it from being totally wrong.

The wrong:

The Miz vs. Morrison / Morrison vs. CM Punk: So we have The Miz taking on John Morrison for the #1 contendership to CM Punk’s ECW Title. The match itself was ok, but it was way too short. The Miz just won the fan vote for Cyber Sunday and the WWE jobs him out in three minutes against John Morrison. This pretty much is a slap in the face of the fans for voting in The Miz. But anyway, John Morrison wins and gets a title shot next week. After the commercial, Morrison is out at ringside to do commentary for CM Punk’s match. I have no problems with that, but I have a problem with CM Punk fighting in a squash match against some nobody. Yes, CM Punk needs to look strong, but there was nobody else available? There was no someone what known person from Smackdown ready for him? So Punk gets his squash and Morrison darts into the ring to blindside and take down Punk. The build was fine, but the matches were a combined five minutes. That is not enough time to really build up a match for next week.

Five match formula: I’ll take a page out of Larry’s book here. This is an excerpt from Larry after the last time ECW had a five-match show: For a ONE-HOUR show I HATE the five-match formula. I don’t think that it an effective us of the show’s time. It feels rushed and like they are just throwing stuff out there, almost like they forgot to book part of the show and are covering it up. … This was an overbooked mess, too much stuff happening. Simplicity is often the best way to book things. Ok, you get the idea here. Granted, the matches totaled twenty minutes of wrestling, which is great for a one hour show, but when The Miz and Morrison should have had a lot more time and two matches were glorified squashes (Ok, only one was), then something is wrong.

The Ridiculous:

Trick or Treat? I see the trick, where is the treat?: Ok, let me first say that the whole deal with Nunzio taking the kids backstage to go trick of treat made me laugh, but for the most part, not in a good way. Overall, I had no problems with it, but that is how The Boogeyman makes his return after Big Daddy V killed him? By scaring kids and giving them worms? That was a little weak for him. So then Nunzio has an extreme rules match against Tommy Dreamer, who was dressed as Paul Heyman. And you think as the former brain behind ECW, they would give it some recognition. BULLSHIT!!! They played it off as it Tommy Dreamer was dressed up as something that has never been seen before and that is just pathetic. I don’t know if that was Vince sticking it to Heyman or what, but that was utterly pathetic. So then we get a four-minute match, which half resembled an ECW Extreme Rules Match and half resembled some of the Diva’s holiday special bullshit. I mean, adding whipped cream to a Pumpkin Pie and shoving it Nunzio’s face. Please, if I wanted to see that, I’d ask for Kelly Kelly and Brooke. Same can be said for the bobbing for apples with Nunzio’s head. At least that made for a sick spot later on. Overall, that match was just really poor and made the soul of the ECW cry inside and out. It was a Trick or Treat match alright. It tricked us into thinking there would be something of a treat for us.

Larry: WAIT! Did Bauer just do a run in on the column! This is an outrage! This is a clean column! What would Mike Tenay think about this?

Mike Tenay: OFFENDED!

From Master Duncan –

Seriously, giving away Sting vs. Angle for the title on free TV is one thing, but switching the title is quite another. I see no reason for the hotshot, and it just reeks of lame booking. Also, if you are going to have a title switch on TV, DON’T DO IT DURING THE FUCKING WORLD SERIES! I saw bits and pieces of the match, it seemed like it was alright, but there’s not way in hell I’m gonna stick around when my beloved Red Sox are playing for the championship. I can almost guarantee that there were zero houses in Massachusetts watching TNA at this point. It seems it can’t be stressed enough that TNA HATES MONEY!

From Brad who hits the nail right on the head –

If TNA really wants to make Bound For Glory their version of Wrestlemania then they need to stop using it to crown transitional champions. All three years at Bound For Glory they have crowned a new champion, and every time the title reign has been less than a month long. Rhino in 2005 and Sting this year both held the title for eleven days after Bound For Glory. To make both of these even worse, Sting and Rhino both lost the titles back to the same people the beat at Bound For Glory. Last year Sting had the longest post Bound For Glory title reign with twenty-eight days. This makes BFG seem more like TNA’s version of Great American Bash than Wrestlemania. I don’t see how they expect to make BFG their biggest event with worthless title changes.

From Brian who liked last week’s Raw –

Mr. Csonka,

Personally, I thought Raw was great (for the first time in a long time), but I had one nagging annoyance with the show, and I thought I’d try to get your opinion on it.

I love Mickie James, not only can she work and looks un-be-lieveable, but she also has a great charisma. I also think Cade and Murdoch are awesome as a tag team, again, great workers, great charisma. So, during their match, Cade appears to attempt to try to clothesline the crap out of Mickie, Murdoch PUSHES HER OUT OF THE WAY and takes the clothesline, causing the loss for his team. Lawler and Ross do a good job of acknowledging it; Mickie sells it like a champ with the puzzled look on her face and the mouthed “thank you” to Murdoch. Murdoch raised his head and it almost looked like Cade was pissed at him. Was Cade trying to clothesline Kendrick or London, they moved, he almost hit Mickie and Murdoch took the blow? Was Cade trying to decapitate Mickey? Is there dissension between the Redneck Wrecking Crew?

All of that could have been played up with ONE SIMPLE FREAKING REPLAY. Instead, we cut to the DAMN DIVA SEARCH CRAP. I guarantee that the angle will be forgotten, because a lot of fans probably didn’t even notice it. I even read a few recaps where the recapper said “why does Mickie look confused? She got the win.” Because the angle wasn’t reinforced where it needed to be.

I shouldn’t complain too much, though, Raw was fun, the Main Event storyline clicked, I liked the Harry Smith/Carlito and Bob Holly/Rhodes/WGTT stuff, and Candice/Beth was also solid (poor Candice). Santino is GOLD on the mic, but they need to start putting him over in the ring. And the Save Us.222 promos are the best build for a return maybe ever in the history of wrestling.

Finally from Byron who breaks down Impact –

Hi Mr. Csonka (or can I call you Larry?) Long time reader, first time writer. The 4R’s is awesome and so is the Impact report you do. Anyways, enough with the chitchat, let’s get to brass tacks.

(Side note: “This match needs no hype!” Really? Why are you hyping it then?)

1. LAX/Steiner’s vs. VKM/Coalition (Styles/Tomko)

OK, I enjoyed this match. LAX are badasses, face or heel, and its cool how they still have their own special entranceway. Anyhow, this was a fine, solid match. But WTF is with Kip’s outfits? Does he ever have decent gear? And does every match TNA puts on have to have some kind of run-in? This isn’t EWR! (not that it’s a bad thing, EWR is awesome, I got the October 2007 update recently, its tremendous!) **

Sting Interview/Angles Drama~!

So Sting says this has nothing to do with the title. WAY TO PUT IT OVER, STINGER! at least he’s sensibly fired up about the rematch, but like you’ve mentioned tons of times during the lead up to BFG, if Angle and Sting are both going back to Atlanta where they made their names, why do we need this family nonsense? You already have a logical context for the feud! JB did get in a good line with “Nash won’t mind” though. * (for JB’s line, otherwise this segment was asinine.)

Fight For the Right (to party~!): Storm vs. Young

Figured someone else would make that joke, but it’s too hard to resist. Anyhow, Storm and Eric work pretty well together. Eric should get a pushed based on his goofiness, if they wouldn’t half-ass it, EY could be huge over. Plus the FARGO STRUT bit was hilarious. This is probably a Hidden Highlight, but wasn’t Jarrett Eric’s “friend” from when EY was battling Roode? So it would make sense if Eric were to bust it out. Subtle nod to continuity there, dunno if anybody picked up on it. **1/2 (bonus points for the STRUT)

According to Tenay, beer is the “nectar of the gods”. Well, DRINK BEER, ITS GOOD FOR YOU~! Any ideas how they plan to wrap up the FFTR tourney before Genesis though? I thought about it, but it made my head hurt. The actual tourney phase isn’t bad. The Reverse Battle Royal, well, I won’t crap on it. It’s not the most reasonable idea, but it is unorthodox. Here’s a question though, can’t they just do the seeding with a normal battle royal? Or just put the 16 guys in a tourney like ROH’s Race to the Top? *

To steal a bit from Jim Gaffigan, I bet someone was in a Creative meeting and was like “Hey, I got an idea. How about instead of guys getting thrown OUT of the ring, they have to get IN first, then get thrown out again?”

Karen Wants Sexy Time with Kevin (caught on tape, no less!)

Karen puts the moves on Big Kev? Eh, I wrote a better come-on with a lesbian vampire seductress. Nash’s reply: “Maybe 10 years ago, now with all those enhancements and surgeries, no way.” RIM SHOT~!. Nash is human, but a cold shower will fix that? TMI dude, but I don’t blame you. **

Havok vs. Petey vs. Sharky vs. Dutt

Since when did Sharky have a full-screen entrance vid? It’s awesome how it shows him going around Universal Studios though. This was a nothing match besides a few cool spots, then 3D had to show up and put them down and bury them some more. Woot. -* (the X guys were looking to have a fun match, but 3D had to show up and ruin it.)

Roode’s Promo w/ Hot Interviewer Chick

I know the Interview Chick’s name is Crystal, but HIC is more fun to say. Roode goes “blah blah blah…top dog…TNA World Title…Samoa Joe…Its pays to be Roode. End blah.” It’s like Delirious without the charisma. Roode’s trying to be a big deal, but he comes off more like Ron Burgundy than Ric Flair to me, although Roode’s robe is still swank. And was he ripping off Naitch with the spins? *

Fun fact: My former E-Fed character, now EWR worker Daniel Cash Kennedy (think Claudio or Million Dollar Man) has a better catch phrase to end promos with “Bank on it!” or “Nothing’s as good as cold hard CASH.”

TNA Title Match: Angle vs. Sting -c-

Hmm, decent match, could have been a lot better without the clusterfuck ending. Is Russo’s favorite word shenanigans or something? Either there’s something rotten in the state of Dixieland, or something NEFARIOUS MOST FOUL~! going on at all times. ***

Cornette Puts the Verbal Smackdown on Tenay

What’s the lesson here, kids? Corny likes making LOUD NOISES~!

Awesome Kong vs. Angel Williams

Wow. Angel is tremendously hot. Kong not so much. Might even be as JR says “bowling shoe ugly”. But she plays her role perfectly, the unstoppable juggernaut all the other chicks are freaked out by, and who could probably wipe out a fair number of the guys too. Tenay’s pouting hissy fit didn’t help.

Abyss Gets Ambushed/Nash on the Warpath

Nothing to say about Abyss’s segment, although for a Monster, he does seem to get jumped and beaten down a lot, doesn’t he? Back in Cornette’s office, we learn its best not to make Matt Morgan angry. You won’t like him when he’s angry. **

-Rain is hot. What they should do is book all the other chicks (the rest of the Knockouts along with Rain, Crystal, and Leticia) to have some harmless lesbian fun with one another, but Kong shows up to open a can of the asswhip on all of them.

-Tenay should take some time off, let Cage get in the booth. That was awesome.

FFTR: Fatu vs. Roode

Meh. Moving along,

STERN TENAY FACE

Please don’t sue. That heading was too brilliant to pass up. Apparently Corny’s letting Sting pick his own partner for Genesis? In a tag match? For the World title?

Um.

HOW CAN A SINGLES TITLE BE DEFENDED IN A TAG MATCH?!

Oh wait, three simple letters: WCW. On top of that, winner of the fall gets the belt? Why does this sound familiar? As for Sting’s partner, please don’t be David Arquette! Jarrett would be fine, although it’d be shits and giggles if it turns out to be Jericho and the whole Save_Us.222 gimmick was a massive mind-fuck.

It’s 3:11. AM. I have class tomorrow (YAY COLLEGE!) It’s been fun. Peace!