Wrestling’s 4R’s 11.16.07: RETRO Survivor Series, AJ is Great, Forget the Brand Extension Because There is a Major PPV and More!

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iMpact 11.08.07:

The Right:

Kaz vs. Cage – We kicked off the show with the Fight for the Right finals, which was Kaz facing Christian Cage. With the commercial taken out they got 11-minutes of airtime to work, tell the story and really put on a good match. This was just a good TV match, good build though out, and never once did Kaz look out of place or Cage no sell him. And that is the most important thing here is how the match was worked. Cage did everything right in the match to make Kaz look like a star, which was the goal of the tournament, but they had failed at thus far. This match did that, even with the ending and his “loss.” While I didn’t like the typical ending, using that to sign the ladder match for PPV worked really well, and in hindsight they certainly delivered as Kaz won the big one, so this worked out rather well.

Kurt Angle, James Storm w/Jackie Moore and Robert Roode w/Miss Brooks vs. Sting, Eric Young and Samoa Joe – In a way TNA is using a WWE formula recently that has been working out well, and that is the main event 6-man tag. WWE has the ability to put on some great 6-man tags, especially on Raw over the years, and TNA has really taken that formula and done it well. This watch was another great TV main event (as far as wrestling goes) and it worked. Angle and Sting have issues and were in the Genesis main event, Joe and Roode had a match and feud going into the PPV and while Storm and Young didn’t have a match, they have a feud going on and putting them with Sting, Angle and Joe ups their stock I feel, Roode gets the rub too. And that is why this is great. Add into it that it is a good match, which was a theme for the night, and I fully approve of this match.

Gail vs. Alexa – TNA Women’s champion Gail Kim had a tune up for her Genesis match this week on Impact as she took on young Alexa. They had a damn fine match in my opinion and I thought both ladies worked hard and came off very well. If you’re going to bring someone in to have a good match with Gail and then do the job, this was a fine choice because Alexa is rather good and let’s face it, she’s hot. After the match we had some craziness, and while I hate when TNA tries to get a lot of people in one segment, this worked well I thought. Roxxi ran out and got the dominator on Gail and Celebrated with the title, only for Angel Williams to take her out and celebrate with the belt. But we weren’t done as ODB made an appearance, laid her out and as she celebrated, was taken out by Gail who stood tall and left with her title. I thought this got good heat for the PPV match, and just worked. The ladies division is doing rather well thus far.

Pacing and timing – Let’s have a refresher for reference: I still feel that they need to offer up as close to as much wrestling time as there are commercials. There are 18-20 minutes of commercials per episode of Impact. So hence forth as I have said, I feel that there should be around 15-18-minutes of wrestling action per week, minimum on Impact. I think that is an important thing. They need to show enough wrestling to make people want to buy a PPV. No one buys a show based off of 2-minute matches, run ins and no finishes. And I would suggest I am right, look at TNA’s buyrates.

So that being said I think that 35-40-minutes a week of wrestling should be the goal with the 2-hour show. Week 1 had 39-minutes, week two 2 had 29-minutes, and week 3 had 27-minutes. We saw some improvement in week 4 as we jumped up to 33-minutes, and that was good. This week we hit an all time low for the two-hour era, 25-minutes! You know that you have issues when you only have 4:29 of wrestling in the FIRST HOUR! THANK GOD FOR THE SECOND HOUR! ALL THE PROBLEMS ARE SOLVED! WE ARE WRESTLING! Unacceptable. BUT THIS WEEK, when you include the “Takedown Challenge,” which technically was a match, we got near 39 MINUTES this week! HUZZAH TNA! This is what you’re supposed to be baby, and you did it here and I shall reward it.

puRgatory:

The Takedown Challenge/AJ Is Great – Gainesville Vocational on Scholarship. DIV III BABY~! Yes indeed, AJ‘s promo challenging Scott Steiner was tremendously funny, and proof of his growth on the mic. But the Takedown Challenge did little to make me, or anyone want to pay for a tag team title match between the champs and the Steiners. And that’s the name of the game. I had no interest in the match because of this, and while it was a creative and funny way for them to NOT have a match, it was an overall poor build for the tag team title match.

Abyss and Black Machismo vs. Team 3D (Ray and Devon) – Team 3D had their hands full this week as while they are out to take down the X-Division, Machismo came with an old friend in Abyss. They had a goods match, a theme for the show, which I love to say, and they all worked together. So we had good wrestling, but of course we had to have some bullshit and that was Black Reign coming out to brawl with Abyss. I get that the idea was to leave Machismo alone, so that he could lose and not look bad until he got the bitch beat down, but it is another in a long line of shit ends to matches that plague the show and promotion as a whole. In the end a fine match, but they got to make the X-Division champ their bitch again, and that is shitty and that’s why the division is suffering and another reason for…NO BUYS~! Seriously, this pisses me off to no end.

The Wrong:

It is still too much Angle! – Five backstage segments involving Kurt Angle this week, and while it is better; when you include the match he had six and then his interaction in the main event interview and we have seven! We had a lot of good wrestling, we had MORE wrestling but again Angle dominates the show with WAY too many segments. And that is not a good thing.

Announcing Lethal vs. Dutt – Right before the Abyss and Black Machismo vs. Team 3D match, Matt Morgan came to the ringside area and handed Tenay and West an announcement. This announcement was that Black Machismo would indeed defend the X-Division Title at Genesis against Sonjay Dutt. Three days before the PPV, with no build. That’s why the division is suffering and another reason for…NO BUYS~!

The Ridiculous:

The Main Event Interview/Scott Hall – So let me follow this. The week before this show they spent the entire two hours teasing Angle and Nash trying to find out who it may be. At the end of the show they say that it will be Hall and that he will be there next week. So we hit that show, and the whole two hours are built around Hall backstage with various people, making the world champion look like a complete goof and finally the main event interview. We then got Scott Hall in a 7XL shirt looking like he just went cold turkey and Kevin Nash, looking Kenny Rogers at 100 years of age. They made dress code, hair dye and maturity jokes in what was a big old Outsiders circle jerk, and then Hall let it lose that HE would NOT be the mystery man. We wasted TWO SHOWS and NUMEROUS segments and the FINAL segment of the show before the PPV on a man that will NOT be there. This is TNA.

SmackDown 11.09.07

I wanna kick off this week with a quality response to comments I made in Fact Or Fiction from our good friend Manu:

just read your response to the Harry Smith question in ‘fact or fiction’ this week, and there were 2 things I have to take issue with:

“he still has to prove he has no will of his own, turn a cold shoulder on the much-more-talented tag partner who got him into the business in the first place then use him for publicity when he’s too injured to compete, and ride the coattails of his wife’s much more talented family members before he really fits snugly into his dad’s shoes”

for what its worth, when DBS went to WCW and was feuding with Vader, as a fan, I believed he could beat him. In fact, one time he fought Vader in a syndicated main event (worldwide, maybe, before they went to a studio show? I dunno), and it aired at midnight or later in my hometown, and I stayed awake just to watch that match. So, say what you will about his talent, but I liked him.

“what surprised me so much was the fact that he’d been on WWE-TV for a whopping TWO WEEKS before he got busted. One can speculate why he decided to start playing with the fire that is steroids. Perhaps with the HART FOUNDATON 2.0 gimmick being shelved, he panicked thinking he really needs to make it on his own. Maybe he felt really physically small once he got into the Raw locker room and felt the need to make a Masterpiece of himself. Maybe someone just got in his ear and convinced the kid despite the whole Wellness hoohah, that it’s just a media smokescreen and if he wants to compete, he’d better juice up.”

This comment is just speculation – its my understanding that drug tests like this don’t come back in a week or two, they take a while (how long, I have no clue). I’m basing this on a news item I read about a UFC fighter failing a drug test before a PPV, fighting on the PPV, and them not getting the results til a while later, which is when I read about it and when he got into trouble.

Now, as a layman (to quote Vinnie Mac), I personally have no f’n clue why the test would take THAT LONG to return. As a computer programmer, I can tell you – people are fucking slack-asses when it comes to doing the simplest things. I don’t want to get into details with my job and coworkers, but dear god, it takes some people DAYS to decide 2+2=4, and these are supposed to be educated people – I would imagine that working in a drug testing lab doesn’t take a masters in chemistry. or at least, if it does, they need to find a way to automate the testing so anyone can run it.

So I don’t think Harry Smith was tested after his debut, I think it was months earlier, when everyone thought hart foundation 2k7 was about to begin (and I still don’t know why anyone though that would do anything, its 5 rookies being given their first shot, all in one big lump that no one cared about). but like I said, I don’t know the details, so please take this one with a grain of salt.

Geoff: I’ll address the second part first. You make a HELL of a point that I failed to even consider, that being, drug tests take time to process etc., etc., thus, he was on the gas prior to being really called up, which is sad.

And speaking of recommending books, Chris Jericho’s autobiography is absolutely amazing. I’d reprint some text to try and fish you in, but, you know, copyright laws and such. Suffice to say, and my love for ol’ Mick is well documented, Jericho’s book thus far has blown away “Have A Nice Day”. The story where Art Barr lights up a joint in front of Jericho and a “ten year-old Mexican kid” is worth the price of the book alone.

The Right:

Unleashing the Animal – I know that’s a total cliché in Batista’s regard, but this week’s promo was Exhibit A with regard to WHY. I’ve said it in the past, this is the Batista I want to see on the mic. He starts off motivated and, as he progresses, he psyches himself up to the point of resembling a caged beast, the crowd is jacked and we at home are like, “Fuck, yeah! I wanna see that match!” It was short, but intense and had meaning. Great stuff from our champion!

Text from That Fucking Conservative Mike LaFave, “I could watch Rey and Finlay all night” – I assumed he meant pro wrestling. I have to agree. Who’d have thought these two would have such stellar chemistry? Of course the hot crowd helped this match tremendously, as a hot crowd always will do (and considering they were in Bakersfield, it was probably a refreshing change for the fans from their usual tedium of Nick Hogan street racing and toiling in the meth labs), but this was stellar. Finaly’s ruggedness lends Rey a quality to his style that he tends to lack otherwise, that being having a sort of killer instinct that I think robs him of greater credibility (but, on the other hand, likely makes him so popular with the kids). Yeah, these two can go to war every week as far as I’m concerned. And I have to say, the knowledge that all those little kids went home totally bummed because Rey lost brought a wicked smile to my face. Yeah, I’m a Grinch.

Tarnation! – The dynamic between Jamie Noble and Vickie Guerrero just gets better and better every week! Mainly due to Noble, of course, but they really work well together and have gone a long way to making Noble the guy we love to hate in a fun way. This all has to be leading somewhere…I’m just looking forward to where and how and am hoping it all benefits Noble in the end, because he really is one of the most criminally undervalued performers in the company. And what was up with Vickie? Was she a contestant on “The Search For The Next Elvira”…? Creepella!

Back to square one – With the departure of Chris Masters, we’re back to Chuck Palumbo & Michelle McCool versus Kenny & Victoria. Sadly, I am more excited about Victoria and Michelle. Not that I dislike Chuck, it’s just that we’ve already stuck a fork in Kenny in this regard, Chuck has proven time and again that he is dominant and now Chuck needs to move on, else he stagnates. BUT, what we had tonight was the ladies doing battle and they had a nifty little women’s match. Of course, there was the fact that, in terms of Kenny and Palumbo on the outside, we had the EXACT same thing occur about a month ago and the ref turned the affair into a mixed tag, but that’s beside the point. The match was fine for what it was and I didn’t mind it at all.

purgatory:

No Holds Barred, you say? – There was absolutely nothing wRong with the match between The Undertaker and Khali; in fact, it was quite good, with Khali finding his opening on The Dead Man (uhm, EW.) and looking as if he might repeat his previous foot-on-the-chest victory, but Taker actually changed it up, learned from his past mistake and slapped on the Triangle choke, earning a tap from The Punjabi Nightmare! As JBL said, that’s a dangerous man who can beat you from his back. Taker has momentum headed for Hell In The Cell, so all is well. The only thing not Right about this is that it was a No Holds Barred match…and nothing that would be normally barred even came close to occurring! Why not have a wild brawl outside the ring where Khali eats a couple chair shots or something? It confuzzled me and was an unnecessary stipulation, so why bother?

Nothing Major at all – Holy cow, we actually have enough tag teams on the roster now to have a tag team battle royal…! Unfortunately, I greatly dislike battle royals and tag team battle royals especially, just because it think it kinda sucks that both members of a team are eliminated when one partner is dumped, but I suppose them’s the breaks. Actually, the battle royal was fine. There was no clusterfuck beginning where 35 guys are all in the ring at once, so that pleased me, as did the amazing tactics of Shannon Moore and Jimmy Wang Yang. I LOVE these guys! It’s just a shame they’ll never do anything with them as a team. Festus and Jesse were entertaining as well, and I liked the notion of Festus being dragged out of the arena by Jesse because he hadn’t reverted to his drooling self when there was no second bell. I also am pleased that they didn’t pull the trigger on sending them to the belts this soon. It will mean more later on.

THE MAJORS winning the #1 contender’s spot was a surprise, but made perfect sense. As with Jesse & Festus, it will mean more when Deuce & Domino win the tag belts again at another time, as opposed to, let’s face it, a distraction match such as the title match ended up being. Quite frankly, I think THE MAJORS should have won the belts tonight. Hear me out. We’re virtually all in agreement that the story involving Matt Hardy and MVP has kicked high holy ass. However, we’re also virtually all in agreement that it’s beginning to drag on for too long. Imagine had MVP tagged himself in tonight, causing arguing between the champions, who take their focus away from their game challengers who score a surprise roll up to win the belts. Matt flips out because his partner’s selfishness cost them the belts, MVP is defensive as he’s internally pissed because now he knows Matt’s going to come for the UST and the WWETTTs are on a team that virtually any other team has a hell of a shot to defeat. Then Matt storms into Vickie’s office and demands a UST shot, which she grants him for SURVIVOR SERIES. They could easily be swapped out of the traditional elimination tag, especially since it’s a tri-branded match. It seems as if everyone wins, as I’m really afraid of this program getting stale and that would be an absolute crime.

It’s straightedge, JBL, not hardcore – I’m a fuckin drunk and I know that. I want to qualify this opinion before I make it, because I could very well ruffle some feathers. I’ve never seen a frame of a CM Punk match in ROH and I have every faith that he earned his stellar reputation through blood, sweat, tears, determination and toil. On top of that, I know what WWE does to performers’ movesets, just look at the pruning job they did to Shane Helms…DAMN do I miss the Vertebreaker!!! That said, I have yet to really be impressed with a single Punk match that I’ve seen. He seems not to have a lot pf continuity, as in one part of the match he’s all Japanese holds, then he transitions into martial arts offense, then he makes a stunning comeback after absorbing punishment from his opponent then takes it home with his neo-Bret Hart Five Moves of Doom. I really want to invest in some ROH DVDs so I can better educate myself to the Punk I’ve heard so much about, as this match tonight against Jamie Noble did little at all for me.

The wRong

Habla anglais, senor? – This Spanglish shit is really getting old, Rey. Now, in places like Bakersfield, where there exists a strong Latino contingent, okay, it works, and don’t think for a second the crowd was as scorching hot as it was for the match itself, that was all about the 619 coming to the 661 and because Rey got them fired up with the pre-match Spanglish. However, I hesitate to wonder how that’s going to play in significantly paler portions of the country…?

The Ridiculous

NADDA~!

Remember people, show Geoff some love by emailing him here: [email protected]

Raw 11.12.07

The Right:

Beth Kills a Bitch – Much like the recent booking of the Awesome Kong, I have loved the recent booking of THE GLAMAZON Beth Phoenix. Beth has a great look, the promo the other week was actually very good and explains what she is and wants to be. For two straight weeks now she has taken out two lower tier “Divas” that have been put into the ring with her. Now while Maria got a bit of offense, she was not match for Beth and she got the botch toss and then the Fisherwoman’s Suplex for the win. She looks very dominant, near unbeatable and that is good booking. Right now it looks as if they may try to string things out until Candice comes back, which is the end of the year, if they can keep the booking string and Beth dominant then I think everything will be ok.

Save_Us
BREAK_THE_WALLS
6_days_22_hours_33_minutes – He’s coming… It should be great. I love how everyone is so pissed that he isn’t coming when Raw ends every week, but then they get just as excited the next week and repeat the process. But when he shows up they will blow the roof off the place and those same people that were pissed will be happy as a wrestler in a Waffle House. I dig these videos and just cannot wait for the promo from Jericho next week.

Matt, Jeff and Rey vs. Finlay, Kennedy and MVP – You know it is one of those things that I have said forever, and that is the fact that WWE, for what ever reason seems to have this ability for putting on great 6-man matches on TV. And this was another good example of this. Look at what you have. The Hardy’s and Rey for the crazy flying and to pop the crowd, Finlay to ground and be the brawler, MVP to be the cowardly, yet awesome heel and then there’s Sandbag Kennedy. After the commercial they had a damn spirited little match, it picked up, they worked hard, they had the crowd, it built to Survivor Series and it just worked. I really enjoyed this and it was one of those simple things that comes off as a great move. My only complaints are Kennedy and his sandbagging of the side effect, and the damn 619. I hate that damn move, it is 100-times more contrived than the Canadian Destroyer. Anyway, good match, good Survivor Series build and that’s a good thing.

The Lumberjack Main Event – The man event for the show was what I like to refer to as the old school “Captain’s Match.” I am all for matches like this because you’re not giving the entire match away, but with the Lumberjack stipulation you’re getting everyone involved and still building the PPV match effectively. The match was good, they do work well together when HHH remembers he is the face and sells for Umaga, which he did here and it makes for a better match. The DQ was predictable, there is nothing wrong with that I this case because they are building towards the Survivor Series 10-man and the win wasn’t as important as building the proper heat for the match, in which case will make people want to buy the PPV. I was actually good with this. I think they accidentally went too long match wise because they did the DQ and then seconds later went off the air during the predictable, yet crowd-satisfying brawl. This was very un-WWE like as they usually play that up and have the big finisher-fest as they go off the air, but it still worked and I felt built to the match well.

puRgatory:

Orton and HBK Face Off – Orton and HBK had their face off this week to lead to Survivor Series. HBK carried the interview, giving a good promo about his motivation being the way Orton tried to take him out and the reaction of his wife and kids. HBK also said that he didn’t need the superkick and mentioned how embarrassed Orton would be to lose to HBK when he couldn’t use sweet chin music. A good promo from HBK. Orton would beat him down when Vince distracted him and then land the RKO. What took away from this is the constant reminder of Montreal. WWE can’t let it go and fans won’t let them let it go. We don’t need the teases and I hope to God that they don’t try to revisit it, again, in some way. Please don’t do it WWE, show me you’re better than that.

Lawler and Santino – Santino came out to the ring after Maria was destroyed, and basically blew her off and said that she’d be fine. He was here for justice since he was made a fool of by Austin and sprayed with “THE STEVE WEISER!” And since Austin wasn’t here to apologize, he would make JR do it for Austin. As he went to get it from JR, Lawler stood up for JR and Santino challenged him. Santino even offered Lawler the first shot and ate the Memphis right hand and then ran away. This led to a match with Santino and Lawler, it was short and Lawler won. I have NO need to see Santino wrestle, but he can learn from Lawler. I just wish they would make Santino a manager, because the guy has a great character and can talk, but we don’t always get what we want.

Hornswoggle Trains – Yes it was funny, I will admit this. Regal had Lillian there to announce Hornswoggle. Coach was dressed like Khali and it was hilarious. The match will suck but this was priceless. Coach didn’t want to wear the wig, but Regal yelled at him and makes him wear it. They have a fake Rajah there even who talked like a 7-11 worker, while Regal calls Coach useless and not to touch Hornswoggle. Regal constantly mocked Coach and Hornswoggle then bit Coach. The tadpole splash finished it. Coach was about to cry and it was funny. Unfortunately it is building to a match that should not be on a PPV like Survivor series, and that is why it gets purgatory.

The Wrong:

What Brand Extension? – For a long time I have been an advocate of the concept of the brand extension, but have also felt that it is an exercise in using the wrong execution of the right idea. What bothered me this week wasn’t the fact that they used the other brands to hype the PPV, quite the contrary that is smart, no, what bothered me was the lack of hype and advertisement for using these guys. If thy are so concerned with ratings and sweeps, they should have pushed HARD that Taker and Big Dave would be there. But they didn’t and that is the issue there.

Ladies Tag – At Survivor Series there will be a 10-Diva Tag Team Match, so in order to hype that a bit they had a 6-Diva tag match on this show. Kelly Kelly, Mickie James and Michelle McCool, the new pink and black attack faced off with Melina, Jillian and Layla. That’s a lot of hot ass in the ring. They had a two-minute match, and it was NOT good. When Jillian is dropped in her head by Mickie, and they are the good wrestlers, it doesn’t bode well overall. Horrible wrestling, only made tolerable by the hot ass and the fact that Mickie had a small lesbian make out session with Layla before pinning her. I approve. But the match, even for how short it was, horrendous. The wrong execution of the right idea, a phrase I hate to use so often.

The Ridiculous:

Cade and Murdoch = BERRIED – Raw kicked off with Batista coming out to the ring. He was happy to be there, he loves his Smackdown home, but always loves coming back to Raw, which he was invited to be there by Regal. He was invited for competition, which he enlightened us to was a mistake because he’s a bit crazy due to HIAC coming up. Taker then appeared, but before they could BATTLE Regal came out and said if they wanted to fight, they would fight the best tag team that Raw had to offer. Right then I knew that this would not end well. Cade and Murdoch, THE WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS came to the ring and got completely squashed. THIS WAS BULL SHIT. I really hate the way that WWE treats their tag teams. This was inexcusable, and did a ton of damage to the credibility that Cade and Murdoch have worked so hard to obtain, since the LAST time they were treated like fucking jobbers.

From: Taker and Dave
To: The Dervish
RE: BERRIED

Hugs and Kisses,
Taker and Dave

ECW 11.13.07:

The Right:

The Hardy’s vs. MVP and Kennedy – ECW kicked off this week with the Hardy Boyz vs. MVP and Kennedy. This is a match that makes so much sense in many ways. Jeff and Kennedy have been feuding on and off over the IC Title, and of course we all know about MVP vs. Matt. Add into the fact that MVP and Kennedy had a short-lived relationship on Smackdown and worked a lot together, and you have a lot of back-story and stuff to play off of. I like and appreciate that. They had a damn fine opener, worked well together and in the end Kennedy would pull Jeff off the apron, to the floor; and they did the pin off of that. I really liked how they kept MVP and Matt apart in the match. When they finally get to have the match, which NEEDS to be soon, the crowd SHOULD be hot. I also liked how MVP saved Matt and Matt is still concerned while MVP looks dedicated to the team, which we all know isn’t the case because he is trying to save his title. They stayed apart, and MVP actually didn’t see Kennedy pull Matt to the floor, so when MVP told Matt he was sorry what happened to Jeff, he likely meant it. This was a damn good tag match to open the show. It also was a great build for Survivor Series.

Punk vs. Noble – Jamie Noble vs. CM Punk was our main event this week on ECW, which came from the fact that their match was interrupted on Smackdown by Miz and Morrison and that Noble laid out Punk after that encounter. After the bullshit at the start and commercial, we were treated to a damn fine 9-minute match. They had some great work and counters, including Noble turning Punk’s springboard clothesline into a FUJIWARA arm bar, on the fly. Excellent stuff. In the end Punk got the hard earned victory, and this was great. Miz and Morrison then rushed the ring, nailed their finishers on Punk and stood tall going into Survivor Series. I will say that I do have a small problem with the match, and that is how much offense Noble got. The other week Noble took on Rey, and they had an awesome match, but I had this to say about the match: Now onto the problem that I have with this match. Yes it was good, yes Noble was awesome and really out performed Rey I thought, but the fact of the matter is that Noble has been booked to job hell and back several times. The three weeks leading to this match he wrestled three times, for a minute each and got jobbed the fuck out to Khali, Batista and Taker. NOW, Rey is booked and treated like a big star for the company, and with that being said Noble should not have been booked as strongly as he was against Rey. Rey is in a big feud with Finlay and should have been booked stronger than he was. And while Noble needed a strong performance, he shouldn’t have gotten one with Rey so soon. So while this was a great match, the booking of it lacked a lot of sense. I kind of feel this way here, but will be lenient due to Noble DID get that great showing against Rey, otherwise this would have been poor booking. Damn fine match though.

puRgatory:

McCool and Kelly vs. Melina and Layla – The ladies had a match, much like Raw had a ladies match to hype the big old 10-Dva tag bout. So we had Kelly and McCool vs. Melina and Layla. I did not expect good things, and for the most part it was not good. They had a three and a half minute match, and the best description of the match is that it didn’t totally suck and was passable but still wasn’t very good. Watching Kelly and Layla wrestle is a chore, I don’t want to see them wrestle, I want to see them be hot pieces of ass. That is why they have jobs. Please stop trying to wrestle and go shake your moneymaker for daddy, or I’ll spank you.

Brand Extension Issues – For a long time I have been an advocate of the concept of the brand extension, but have also felt that it is an exercise in using the wrong execution of the right idea. What bothered me this week wasn’t the fact that they used the other brands to hype the PPV, quite the contrary that is smart. Unlike Raw they got some advertising out there, which was good but I am not a fan of the “Brand Extension Be Damned” mantra they seem to continually take.

The Wrong:

The Miz and Morrison on Commentary – Outside of the awesome line by Morrison, which was, “Look at me! Imagine if Jesus knew Kung-Fu” having Morrison and the Miz on commentary was a horrendous experience. While I get the point that they were supposed to be at each other’s throats, there are ways to do this without compromising the match. I thought it was horrible, took away from the main event and disrespected Punk and Noble. And apparently I am not alone.

The Ridiculous:

NADDA~!

CLASSIC SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH: Team Legend defeated Team Spirit Squad: Ric Flair (SOLE SURVIVOR) @ 10:35 via submission * Trash of the Night

WWE US TITLE MATCH: Chris Benoit defeated Chavo Guerrero @ 8:30 via submission *** Match of the Night

WWE WOMEN’S TITLE MATCH: Mickie James defeated Lita to become the NEW CHAMPION @ 8:23 via pin *½

CLASSIC SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH: Team D-Xtreme defeated Team RKO: Team DX (ALL SURVIVE) @ 11:37 via pin **¼

FIRST BLOOD MATCH: Mr. Kennedy defeated the Undertaker @ 9:30 via First Blood **

CLASSIC SURVIVOR SERIES MATCH: Team Cena defeated Team Show: John Cena and Lashley (SURVIVORS) @ 12:41 via pin **½

WORLD TITLE MATCH: Batista defeated King Booker to become the NEW CHAMPION @ 15:00 via pin *½

The Right:

Short Takes – Short takes is the little invention I made a while back. Basically there are always some things on a show that are right and wrong, but aren’t big enough for a right or wrong of their own. So what we do is put them all under one banner, and we have short takes.

CM Punk’s Debut – So this week was the “long awaited” debut of CM Punk. The good news was that they did this in New York in an arena full of people that will know who he is and be into the debut. When he was announced and came out, he got a huge pop from the crowd. There were signs there saying the person came to see CM Punk, Punk chants, ROH chants; he looked like a superstar when he entered the match.

But…

In my opinion they screwed the pooch on the match. He faced Justin Credible, who lost to Angle in a little over a minute; who hasn’t won a match unless it was through a DQ and who has been booked like a joke since the rebirth of the promotion. He got to have a 4:30, competitive match with CM Punk. With the way Punk came out, got the crowd reaction and was perceived to be a star, the match should have been immediately changed to a 2-minute squash by Punk to work off of that, and to make him seem even more important to the TV viewer, who less than 10% know who the hell Punk is and need to buy him in order for him to actually to become a star. I feel that this is where they failed Punk in his debut, and they may pay for it down the line.

I feel that it is important to go back to that. My main contention was that he debuted in a place they know him, so sure he got the pop. But now, after months of short promos, strong matches and an undefeated streak he is entrenched in the ECW brand, and has become the fan favorite. But this Sunday, even though they were in Philly, a place he is known, I believe that he officially became “over.” The fact that he got cheered for so loudly that he upstaged the almighty “DX” intro is proof of that. The kid his arrived despite not being a prototypical WWE wrestler, look and match wise. I would expect him to get buried for upstaging HHH and HBK, but the fact is that he got over huge and is now heading into his first “WWE PPV MAIN EVENT.” Not bad for 4-months on the main roster.

Chavo vs. Benoit – This right here was the match of the night. Unfortunately that isn’t saying a lot for this card, but it was a good match. Considering that they only got a little under 9-minutes, they definitely did the best that they could. They were intense from bell to bell and really brought a nice level of brutality that the match needs, considering the scope of why they are feuding; which I still hate. As I will touch on later they really needed more time, and the reason they didn’t get it was due to all of the individual entrances during the Survivor Series matches. I will also say that I question some of the booking of the match. Benoit winning clean is questionable to me, because since the face already has won clean, where do we go from here? They will need to get creative, and I hope they can do that. Also please, it has been a year, can we drop the Eddie shit?

Purgatory:

Team Cena vs. Team Show – To me this one seemed to be the most fun Survivor Series match. Truth be told I was really looking forward to almost all of the matches in some way, as they all had potential to be either really fun or really good as long as they stayed away from bad booking. It was fun, but I think that there was some questionable booking here and that really drug it down for me. RVD is the first eliminated on his team, which I feel is bad because he is in the Extreme Elimination Chamber this Sunday. Then, in the next minute Test and Sabu get eliminated, once again, both of these men are in the Extreme Elimination Chamber this Sunday, which as we remember is for the ECW Title. They just get eliminated like they are nothing, which I feel is bad booking. Finally, it was obvious before the show that Cena vs. Umaga was up next, which it was then confirmed on Raw on Monday. This would have been the perfect time to have him pin Cena. That is the glory of these matches, but they took the lame way out with the DQ one-minute in, in a move that was over protecting Umaga. I felt that could have been booked much better.

It’s the homeboy shopping network’s good-bye to Lita – So at Survivor Series we had Lita’s retirement match. During the opening minutes of this match, we were headed towards ridiculous territory as it was sloppy and not together. Thankfully things came together, and they had a good set of events near the end with the near falls and it turned out well. It was no Lita vs. Trish, but it was good. Lita was adorned with numerous classic chants, like “She’s a crack whore/She’s got herpies” from the Philly crowd. There were a lot of thank you Lita signs and I think this was almost done out of respect, ala “We know we should hate you, so we’ll send you out that way” kind of deal.

Afterwards is where we get into sketchy territory to me. First of all, Mickie is basically ignored. Her title win was just a background, which is sad. Then she cuts a good promo, saying that this is the perfect place to leave, because the fans basically suck. Fine and good. And then Cryme Tyme appears with all of her shit they stole, and have a “Ho” sale of all of her shit. This was funny when it began and they had some good lines, but went on too long. Overall not too bad, but a lack of focus and timing I believe, especially when the matches could have used more time.

The wRong:

A gripe… – One thing I did not like on the show was the individual entrances. They took so much damn time away from the matches. Each Survivor Series match had entranced that lasted around 5-minutes, a total of roughly 15-minutes. Make them group entrances, cut the crap and you have 10-more minutes for matches. Chavo and Benoit could have used some of that time, hell 3-minutes to get that to over 10 for the match. But the fact unfortunately is that everyone had to have their own entrance for their egos, so we get punished in the end. Add to that the fact that the PPV ended early as always and they wasted a lot of time.

Match Quality – I had a similar rant last month regarding the quality of the PPV and I feel that I have to again. The overall match quality for the show was just there. While nothing was out right atrocious, there was nothing great either. For a company that is considered by many of my detractors as the best in the world, and for a company with SUCH a DEEP talent roster, they once again have dropped the ball on PPV when it comes to matches. I don’t know how else to put it, but in all seriousness it is rather sad when you wrap your noggin around it.

I know they are buried already, but… – I love Ric Flair, I really do and on some nights he is STILL the man. That all being said, was the booking here really the smartest thing to do? It isn’t that he defeated three of the Squad members on his own really, but since they have been teasing the break up of the group for a while, could there have been a little dissension on the ranks allowing him to win? It isn’t that hard a concept, and in the end these guys, even with the beat down are even more buried than before, which is actually amazing because DX all but killed them off. Match was what you would expect, but it had the nostalgia factor to keep people happy live.

The King is dethroned… – While I loved that Smackdown actually got to main event the show, I wish I could say that the match delivered. Far from it, it was just a match, a low end Smackdown main event for TV actually. I still contend that Batista has lost a lot of his fire and strength, and perhaps his motivation. Lucky for them that the rest of the card was under whelming, because in comparison it didn’t look that bad. The other thing is that I just don’t think the booking here was the best. Think of this, of King Booker wins of due to Batista refusing to cheat, there would have been much more potential in Batista trying to cost Booker the title or focusing towards the Rumble for a promised shot. Batista could disappear and go into intense training, or he could have a match with someone like Chavo or Regal and get rolled up for a surprise pin and just walk away, only to return with a new bad ass, evil villain type look and just start taking random bitches out on his way to the Rumble. In the end I didn’t feel as if Batista was vindicated, I felt as f King Booker was robbed. We could see a good old Dusty finish here on Friday.

The Ridiculous:

Nothing of note, I got bigger fish to fry.

The Ri-GOD-DAM-diculous:

Gotta get my heat back brother… – And now we have to discuss the First Blood match. As I figured this would be the match where Taker loses, because he doesn’t have to pin or submit, and Kennedy “appears to win” until he gets his ass handed to him. Guess what? That is exactly what happened. And you know what? It is bullshit to the highest degree! No one came out of that thinking, “Gee golly, Kennedy looked like a winner.” He looked like a big old pussy that got an ass whooping. Hell, he didn’t even bust open Taker, pansy ass MVP did! This is going down just like the Orton feud, and when it is all said and done, Kennedy will be damaged and Taker will come out smelling like a fucking rose, and that is pathetic my friends. He really is the Undertaker, because he is burying people still. But not quite as bad as the KINGS of Burial.

DX is STILL rated B… – For Burial. My God, what the hell was that? Back in the day I remember when a team would clean sweep, I remember one in fact, and that is fine when it is a team of mid-card guys vs. mid-card guys. But the fact that this was supposed to be a big match and was booked the way it was, was rather pathetic. Some will say, “Hey, HHH really put over the whole team before the match, especially Punk.” Let me let you in on a little secret, when you are doing your” opening mic shtick and the crowd is chanting for another guy on your team, you have NO CHOICE but to audible and play to the crowd, or risk looking like an ass. Also, some will say, “Larry, this is a team with DX, Punk, and the Hardyz, they can’t job.” First of all, yes they can. This is Survivor Series, so many guys, so much shit going on, pin falls are acceptable here, just like in HANDICAP MATCHES! Also you have the use of count outs and DQ’s, but they weren’t used here. Secondly, they should never have made the team “so good” then. I agree that it would have been wrong to pin Punk as he is at such a crucial level of build in his WWE career. That crowd was hot for him and would have been pissed if he took a pin. DX is the hot nostalgia act, but more importantly HHH is the son in law so he gets he and his buddies way. Team Extreme, just back together for what was “supposed” to be a one time big event, you don’t job them either. So kids, if you determine that it is bad for all to lose, then you should never have booked it in the first place!

The match I will say, was “fine.” But fine is bad when you consider all of the talent, and Mike Knox, that was in the ring. Actually I kid as Knox has improved, but he is perfect to begin with. We ALL KNEW he would go first, but that was horrible. First of all, Kelly was hitting on HHH, why not Punk? Sure, fuck continuity. Then Knox gets pissed, eats a superkick and is gone in 40-seconds. But it gets worse kids, HBK proceeds to ask, “Who is that guy, and was he in the match?” When this was conformed, he then playfully said, “So we’re doing good then?” Sure, humorous on the surface for a laugh, but the fact of this is that Knox is COMPLETELY buried through this, to the point that it may not be salvageable.

Johnny Nitro got some love as he got to last to the 5:00 mark, but then we started to go downhill even more. Helms was next, and although he took multiple finishers, was gone @ 9:30. So we have Orton and Edge left, the two big enemies of DX. Randy Orton, who has been the sole survivor the last three Survivor Series and made a star of himself in the matches. Edge, the former two–time world champion and together they are the current tag team champions. The future of the business if you will. And in the next two minutes they proceeded to run around the building like pussies and then get pinned with virtually no offence.

Here is the sad part, mostly I am getting emails from people saying, “That match was a blast! I wanted to see that and it was so much fun!” This just killed all kinds of shit. Nitro looks like a pussy, not the guy that has been hanging with Jeff Hardy in some of the best matches on Raw lately. Helms looks like a joke as well, even though they were all over him as the “Longest Running Champion in Sports Entertainment Today” horseshit, it means nothing if you don’t defend the title and have no division of challengers, but he looked like a joke as well, not someone that has been being built up. Where do we go from here? Once again DX won the day, the thwarted the bad guys, why would they accept another match from them? They won the feud! Why would people buy into this? Why would they want to see this? They have ruined the feud, lost the sense of the chase and then the ability to make a lot of money from it. Totally fucking absurd.

Closing Thoughts:
So yeah…we had a PPV Sunday. Once again WWE comes up way short to me on this PPV. The legends match was ok, but furthered the continual burial of the Spirit Squad. The US Title match was the best of the show, but they barely got 9-minutes to work with because everyone had to have their own entrance for their egos, so we get punished by having a shorter match. It was good, best on the show, but could have been s much more. After a sloppy start Mickie and Lita had a good little match, and the after match antics were funny and sent out Lita, the heel, the right way. I already ranted on the D-X burial stuff, the first blood match was just about as bad so no need to reiterate there. Team Cena vs. Team Show was fine, although some odd booking choices and the main event was there. Not bad, but not good or what you should be striving to put on in your main event, plus I question the booking because I don’t think people are that excited about Batista and I for one question his durability.

In the end I will go with a generous 4.0 out of 10 for the show. This marks the second straight month that a WWE PPV failed to deliver. I cannot give a PPV a good score when there is mediocre wrestling at best. The matches again, while not horrible this time, weren’t all that great. I once again feel that I did not get my money’s worth from the show, and question why I would pay $40 to see this. I cannot recommend the show, unless you REALLY want to see “classic” Survivor Series matches, but I warn you, they are nothing special and all in all only average 10-minutes or so of wrestling. Recommendation to avoid kids.