The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks: 12.21.07

Welcome back to your regularly scheduled week-end dose of intrawebz ‘rasslin optimism, all. A big thanks to Daniel Wilcox for giving us HisCox… err, I mean… HisThinks last week in a much-appreciated substitution whilst me and the lady-friend spent a few days running off to the most magical place on earth, good old Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida. This last little getaway marked trip numero three to “The World” for Mee in the past year (you’d think one would tire of such things — but not so much)… but I most definitely have to go on record as calling this particular vaction my best and most memorable of the year (heck, maybe even of my whole life).

Why’s that, you ask?

As of Monday of this past week, I’m officially headed on the road to married life. 🙂

So mark your calendars, folks: December 2008, it’s the Meehan/Hughes wedding (“Mee-an’-yous?” Oh brother…) in — where else? — Walt Disney World.

Oh right… back to the wrestling news!

(Please accept my apologies in advance if the news report this week is on the “lighter” side)

Good news is that in my elation, I don’t think I missed all that much in the way of ‘rasslin news. WWE is in full “holiday cheer” mode — which means morale is high and backstage DRAMAZ is at a year-long low. Firings over the holiday are similarly something of a rarity… so there’s no news on that front, either. And TNA is, well… TNA. When the biggest news item out of Orlando is that the company’s president posted a photo of herself on their website wishing all the TNA fans a happy holiday? You know it’s a slow wrestling news week in the Sunshine State.

As the wrestling year rolls toward the notoriously uneventful holiday season… let’s see what (if anything) is making waves in the wonderful world of our favorite pseudo-sport, eh?

Rock & roll.

John “Bradshaw” Layfield Prepares for In-Ring Return
Former WWE Champ Set for Competition on Mondays

In a surprising change of pace, arguably the single biggest wrestling news item of this week didn’t actually come by way of internet gossip sites, backstage “dirtsheets,” or lockerroom rumors. Quite on the contrary — this news was made loud and clear to the wrestling fan public by way of WWE programming and the company’s website, as viewers learned that former WWE Champion John “Bradshaw” Layfield would indeed be making his return to active in-ring competition in the coming weeks… beginning with what appears to be a program against fellow former Champion in Chris Jericho.

Now then —

Given how brilliant JBL has been in his role as Smackdown! commentator over the past two years, a LOT of folks are (understandably) bummed that “The Wrestling God” will soon be turning in his play-by-play duties over on the blue brand in favor of a pair of wrestling boots back on the flagship show. Other fans have groaned at the notion of Bradshaw swapping back to RAW, simply because it’s just another example of how “WWE is constantly hamstringing their second and third brands,” this time robbing from Smackdown! to import yet another star to RAW.

MeeThinks?

Truth be told, losing JBL as a regular character on Smackdown! actually hurts WWE quite a bit *less* than losing JBL as a commentator. And frankly? Tazz and Cole is a perfectly acceptable commentary team until the ‘E can groom or import someone else to take JBL’s place behind the headset.

Let’s be honest, folks —

If Bradshaw were to return to action on Smackdown!, he’s pretty much wasted in a role doomed to feud against the same exact top crop of stars he’d been brawling with some two calendar years ago. Mysterio, Batista, Undertaker… we’ve seen ’em all before, and everybody knows that Layfield is light years more effective as a heel than a face (as are guys like Edge and Finlay) — so that pretty much killed any chances for Bradshaw to square off against anybody fresh or exciting so long as he stayed on the blue brand.

But over on RAW?

We’ve got JBL/Jericho, JBL/Jeff Hardy, JBL/Triple H, JBL/HBK… and heck, even JBL/Lashley to look forward to — all of which have *never* been done on a major scale since JBL’s gimmick change of a half-decade ago. And with the microphone work of “The Wrestling God” doing much of the heavy lifting… fans might actually find themselves excited at the prospect of seeing Bradshaw go head-to-head against performers both with a knack for a good promo (think Hunter and Y2J) *AND* those opponents who might otherwise come to the table with less polished mic skills (think Lashley and Jeff).

It’s a win/win.

JBL’s place behind the Smackdown! commentary booth could well indeed be a tough spot to fill, but the freshness and charisma the guy will bring to WWE’s flagship broadcast (a land populated by baddies who are either too monotone, too “savage,” or simply trying too hard…hard…Kennedy) will most definitely go a long way.

Andrew “Test” Martin Calls it a Career
Former WWE & TNA Talent Packs it In

According to his MySpace page, Andrew “Test” Martin officially announced his retirement from the world of professional wrestling, saying:

I’ve talked to my “Better half” and we decided that Ireland will be my “last hurah” I’ve been thinking about my talk with Bret last week and I’m glad we caught up again and I’ve made sure to make it a regular habit. Bret was my favourite wrestler and still to me the best ever. I don’t care about merchandise sales or championships. I call him the best for the stories he told in the ring. I have fond myself watching a lot of Bret Hart matches and it’s to bad it’s a lost art and will be gone by the time my generation of wrestlers retires. They say no body retires from wrestling. I can’t tell you how much I h ate to hear guys say “it’s all I know” and keep working long after they should and die or be permantly disabled. You have to come to terms when you ask yourself what is your health worth? To me? You can’t put a price on it! So what are you wrestling for? one mans greed so he might throw you a bone? I loved wrestling it was good to me. I’m still young, I’m in the shape of my life I ‘ve got some money tucked away.

I never got into wrestling to be rich and famous. I remember when I first was around Bret and we go to a bar for a beer, people would literally stand up and clap and Bret would be very shy about, of course always being the gentleman he is and shaking anyones hand or signing anything for a kid. I remember thinking at the time no one knew who I was and I thought”why isn’t he eating this up?” I soon found out why? I laugh to myself and not that I am on Brets level at all! but I laugh because I never want to go anywhere outside of my house. I stick out anyway and to be honest I’m a pretty shy guy who believe it or not is pretty normal….whatever that is. Bret left with his head high and still with the respect of the “boys” and I’m talking the “real boys” the ones that wouldn’t stab you in the back and shake your hand to your face! This business is full of those people, “PIRATES “all for one and one for all” but as “the real boys always say “tells the boys that matter, I said hello” and they do!

I was told my poblem was I never “kissed enough ass” As we all know wrestling is not real and it is very political backstage and as a man I could never bring myself to consort with the people That I didn’t care for even if that meant making less money and not getting a world title. The world title is not real but my dignity was and I feel I never comprimised it. I said “no” to Vince a few times which I was told is unheard of and the kiss of death. I personally don’t have bad things to say about Vince. I can appreciate what he’s done! I wonder what it’s like to have evreryone who works for you tell you yes and your ideas are great because they are terrified about losing their job. I will never know nor do I want to. I can’t wait to read Bret’s book as I know Santa is bringing it for me on xmas morning. It’s all I asked for!

So what know? Start a real existence. get married have some kids, work a normal job{I’m not someone who can sit around I did it for 8 months there is nothing satisfying about it}maybe get a belly from Babs cooking but that will be hard to do since I do all the cooking. Their are few guys that can walk away from this business with their health and a little wealth but like I said”what’s your health worth”

Thanks to all my fans and please stay in contact I still love to hear from you. I am at peace..I have no bad words to say about anything or anyone>>>that doesn’t mean I won’t have a few chuckles with “the real boys” on peoples expense who I’m sure know who they are. Take care and stay in touch!

Now then…

Longtime readers of this column will note that my good friend Andrew “Test” Martin has occassionally found himself on the wrong end of a critical remark from yours truly every now and again. They might also point out that 99% of the criticism I’ve ever levied Test’s way has come not because I don’t like the guy (he seems nice enough, actually) or because he is in serious need of a grammar and spell check device (hardly a mortal sin, mind you) — but simply because he’s been pretty darned vocal about his belief in, use of, and appreciation *FOR* steroids and other performance enhancing drugs throughout the wrestling industry.

Long story short?

Re-reading the Test retirement announcement, it basically boils down to something along the lines of:

“I was too roided up for WWE, and too roided up for TNA. I neither have the in-ring skill set nor the needed charisma it would take to succeed elsewhere, and so now that all of my options have pretty much dried up in North America — I’m calling it a career.”

That said, while I expressly and most ardantly disagree with our buddy Test’s position on steroids being “no big deal” and little more than what should be regarded as a necessary shortcut, kinda like Botox in Hollywood… I will say that if he really does/did believe it was necessary for him to keep juicing up on such dangerous performance enhancing supplements so long as he remained a professional wrestler, then it’s probably better for all parties involved that the guy agreed to cut his losses and get out while he’s still (hopefully) not too far gone.

I wish the guy well, and I’d much rather see him get *off* the gas and *out* of the ring than see him chase his tail down the steroid spiral only to read his obituary ten years down the line. Here’s hoping that he means what he says, and that he really does value his health to the point where he’ll be willing to leave the “supplements” behind him now that he’s walking away from life in the squared circle. While it may well be too late to undo any of the damage he has/had already done to his body in the first place, walking away (and getting clean) now will ultimately go a long way to improve his overall health and well-being in the future. So like I said… MeeThinks this one’s for the best, and I most wholeheartedly wish him well if he means what he says.

Since I was out of town last week, I missed the chance to phone in my picks for WWE Armageddon. But taking the remainder of the ‘rasslin calendar’s year of PPV showdowns into account, I’m proud to say that I was able to finish 2007 with a (mildy impressive) 65.17% guessing accuracy when it came to correctly predicting PPV match outcomes.

Hey, it’s better than the success rate of those no-talent talking heads like Kenny Albert and Ron Jaworski.

I kid, Eagles fans, I kid. And thank you for beating those Cowboys last week, by the way. My it’s certainly nice to see the NFL’s resident golden boy get served up a much-overdue slice of humble pie every now and again, no? Oh wait, that’s right — ESPN wants us to believe that it was actually Jessica Simpson’s fault. Nevermind.

Sigh…

Here’s to a great new year of wrestling PPVs to come though, eh? Let’s see if I can’t start the year off strong and maintain a number above that 65% average by the time I head back to Florida in March for WRESTLEMANIA 24, baby!

None this week, since I was on hiatus. Maybe some next week, if anybody feels so inclined to send a Thinks or two my way. Or maybe an engagement gift, eh? 😉 I *do* have a PayPal account, you know.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

That’ll do it for Mee this week. Again, apologies for the lack of “dirt” and detail in this week’s column… but it’s been a slow seven days for the world of fake fighting, and a pretty whirlwind week for the “real world” of my life on this end. So as a famous writer once said, “since brevity is the soul of wit, I will be brief” (who says a freshly-minted M.A. in English literature is useless!). I’ll see you back here in seven… hopefully with more wrestling news and who knows what else (again, that PayPal account is more than willing to accept monetary gifts!).

Thanks again for reading, GO PATS GO!, have a great holiday if you haven’t already celebrated yours, and always stay positive.

– Meehan