Evolution Schematic: 12.29.07: Finlay (Version 2.0)

Hello all. I hope you’re all stuffed with food and/or already drunk in preparation for Monday Night. I’m really tired from work, and starting to drink because of Monday Night as well, as thus you get a 2.0 ES. In the interests of fairness and gender equality I’ll do Nidia next week (and thus having announced it I’m forcing myself to do a new column), so if you want to help me ensure I get press, send me hot Nidia pics, since that’s the way to ensure hits, hot chicks. Although that does raise the question of gender equality again… Nah it’s cool, April 1st, we’ll just have a bunch of Daily Hotness of George Clooney and John Cena and some UFC guy and so on. Equality reached!

WARNING! This Column is Rated B. It contains mention of He Who Must Not Be Named. You have been warned.

Although it still needed?

Overview

Sometimes, my job is too easy. I mean, seriously, do you need me to explain what drives Fit? Oh fine.

Mr. Finlay, as an Irishman, has a proud tradition behind him of fighting for rights, steadfastness and all around positive qualities to be found in a society. He also has a proud tradition of potatoes, beer and drunken brawling.

Fit straddles the two nicely, as, quite frankly, a man looking for a fight. And a fight, he damm well gets. Titles are second place to a man who just wants to fight. But this does not mean he doesn’t have other qualities, he is very, very loyal to his friends. And his property. The man is currently liked, but liked, hated, he just wants to fight. And fight he does.

Origins- Belfast. Sounds like Bad-Ass.

Fit, or Dave as he was christened, grew up on the mean, mean, MEAN streets of Belfast, where any typical New York Street Punk transplanted would be drunk, dead and painted green within the hour.

(Writer’s Note: Sorry to butt in, but I must address this. This section got me a bit of mail last time around, basically skirting close to but falling short of calling me racist/insensitive/a bad writer. And while one of those might be true, and one the forumers still occasionally call me, I am not insensitive, quite the reverse. So, to cover myself, I wish to remind you all that this is a column based on Wrestling Logic and Reason, which is itself at times, alas, racist and insensitive. If you don’t believe me, go headbutt a Samoan. So I know Belfast is not the cliché I just painted it as. But to WWE, it is. Sorry.)

Thus, Dave grew up to be mean, nasty and all those other good things many excellent bad-asses in Pro Wrestling need. However, while he had all the mental qualities to get ahead in the sport, his size was a slight detraction.

And his location was a major one. While it bred him well, it gave him little place to go. But he found one, nevertheless.

Debut- 1978. He’s been kicking ass longer than I’ve been alive.

Fit Finlay debuted in 1978 in Great Britain, wrestling for various companies under the Joint Promotions banner, a sort of NWA for England and its neighbours. For a few years, Fit worked his way up the ranks, his manager and then wife Princess Paula by his side. It took a few years, but soon, Fit’s desire and ability paid off.

Phase 1b- Gold, more gold, and to top it off, some gold.

4 years after his debut, Fit started to win gold. The Joint Promotions belts were classed by ‘weight’, a throwback to the Boxing world, and thus instead of World followed by IC/US followed by Women’s/Cruiser/HC/Euro/Whatever, it went British Heavyweight, Mid-Heavyweight, Light Heavyweight, Heavy Middle-Weight, and so on down the line.

The theoretical existence of a Light Bantamweight title is unconfirmed at this time.

Of course, the titles were not so much weight classifications, but still carried various levels of status. Except to Fit. Fit saw them as tools. Holding gold meant more people would want to fight him, ergo he could fight more, against better opponents. Thus, once he got a taste, he was constantly in the hunt.

It started with his beating of Allan Kilby on June 9th, 1982 to win his first title, the Joint Promotions British Heavy Middleweight title. He would trade that belt back and forth with various people over the rest of the year, but in early 1983, lost it for the last time. But then a tournament was held to crown a new British Light Heavyweight champion, a currently vacant belt, and a step up for Fit. So he entered, fought, won, won some more, and then finally beat British Legend Ringo Rigby in the finals to win the belt.

Fit would soon lose that belt, but gain another, beating Marty Jones, a well respected wrestler, to win the “World Mid-Heavyweight title”, although said belt never left Great Britain. Later in the year, Fit once again made Marty his bitch on route to winning the British Light Heavyweight title. Through 83 and into 84, Fit was always fighting for a title, over a title or to defend a title. But then, all too soon, Fit hit a slight slump.

Phase 2- The fall and rise of Fit Finlay.

For from mid 1984 to 1987, Fit couldn’t seem to buy a title. With his moustache and mullet (Yes, Mullet. A beautiful one too, as mullets go.), Fit just couldn’t reach the title picture, not through lack of trying, but just…he couldn’t get the crucial wins. He had been fighting for a while, and people have gotten used to handling him. But eventually Fit refocused, changed his look slightly, and BAM! Fit got his groove back.

Starting back with his first title, the Heavy Middleweight title in 87, then a huge and very crucial win over Johnny Saint in May 1988, Fit once again began to climb the ranks, and, as quickly as things move in the independent British circuit, Fit got a title at the big gun, the big belt, the All-Star Promotions British Heavyweight title. All-Star being one of Britain’s biggest companies. And on February 5, 1990, Fit destroyed Tony St. Clair to win the belt.

Phase 3- A year of wall to wall Fit Finlay Goodness. Drool.

Fit would fight anyone and everyone for the belt, defending it against whoever they through up against him, beating them all. For over a year, Fit defended the belt, and retained the belt.

But alas, all good things must come to an end, and Fit’s reign came to an end at the hands of Dave Taylor, a man whom Fit would cross paths with again.

But during this time, Fit had begun to wrestle in Germany as well, for one of the biggest companies in all of Europe, the Catch Wrestling Association. While holding the All-Star title, he teamed with his old foe Marty Jones (thus establishing that once he had beaten a man, Fit tended to gain some respect for them) to win the CWA tag titles off Mr. St. Clair and his partner, Miles Zrno. But after losing the British title to Dave Taylor, Fit began to focus more and more on CWA.

Phase 4- A focused Fit? God help us all.

And with this focus (and snazzy green Irish themed trunks) Fit began to win more and more titles, and slowly amassed international fame, with it coming trips to Japan and Mexico, on one Japanese trip teaming successfully with one Pegasus Kid, a.k.a Chris Benoit for those just joining us. But it was CWA that he focused in, and succeeded best in, winning several titles over the few years he was there, their World Middleweight, their IC title, their British Commonwealth, beating some big names on his way. But then, with the titles, and the fame, and the fights, eventually a big name came calling. WCW.

Phase 5- The Belfast Bruiser? Well, it’s honest…

The name change was for various reasons, to throw off anyone who knew Fit Finlay’s reputation and thus they’d take him lightly, which would help. It sounded a bit more ominous if one didn’t know to quake in fear at the name Fit Finlay. Plus WCW, who claimed to be truly global as opposed to the WWF, could always rub it in their face. Our ‘Bruiser’ is from Belfast. Your ‘Brawler’ is from Brooklyn. We win.

His first major “Look At Me Moment” came in early 96, March to be exact where the Belfast Bruiser had his first major match in WCW, against hated Snob Steven Regal, of the Bluebloods. And most people went in expecting a boring mat based affair.

They came out changed, as Regal and Finlay held nothing back, going 110% on each other, fighting like this was the most important match of their lives, both men fighting like their were in a bar. Stiff shots a plenty, leading to Regal’s friends having to run in and cause a DQ just to get Regal out alive.

Phase 6- Years passed, for some reason.

Naturally, after this, NO-ONE wanted to fight The Belfast Bruiser. So Finlay laid low, changed his name back to Fit, and waited. And eventually, everyone forgot about what he could do. But WCW still paid him, and he still got to fight a reasonable level of talent, WCW jobbers being roughly equivalent to British mid-card types. But eventually, something happened to change all that.

Phase 7- “THEY DON’T KNOW ME!”

In 1998, Booker T and Chris Benoit were fighting and feuding. The focal point of the fighting and feuding was the WCW World Television title, which, while not meaning that much, did have with it a sorta-guarantee of TV time, something that is always wanted. So, the two were having their differences when Fit Finlay received, by way of quietly building (in the short term) a good win/loss record, a TV title shot on the May 4th episode of Nitro. And during the match, Booker seemed to have it well in hand when Chris Benoit wandered out, dressed in an immaculate suit. Booker, possibly dazzled by said suit’s magnificence, was distracted. Finlay, seeing his chance, grabbed him, nailed a vicious (like he knew any other way) Tombstone Piledriver, his finisher at the time, and won the belt.

This annoyed Booker, especially when Benoit then asked Finlay for a shot at said belt and got it at Slamboree, the following WCW PPV. Thus, Booker returned the favor at said PPV, walking out in another stunning suit, once again distracting the Canadian in the ring and allowing Finlay to retain the title, Fit obviously not one to appreciate a well cut suit.

Thus two men had claims to getting screwed over, and both wanted the next shot at Finlay at the next Pay Per View, Great American Bash 98. Finlay would probably happily fight both of them, but WCW couldn’t have that. Thus, the WCW Championship Committee decided that Benoit and Booker would fight in a best of 7 series; the winner best 4 out of 7 matches would be the #1 contender.

This classic series then quickly became 9 after the 7th and 8th matches ended in draws, the 9th match on the night of the Bash. And thus, Fit was able to relax and watch Benoit and Booker kill each other, before seeing Booker win the match and the shot. Thus, Finlay walked in, confident as hell, since a) Booker and Benoit had been focused solely on each other, and they “Didn’t Know Him” and b) Booker had an injured leg.

About 15 minutes later, Booker was once against WCW TV Champ and Finlay was trying to work out what the hell had just happened.

Phase 8- Regroup.

For the next several months, Finlay went back to quietly wrestling, still trying to comprehend just how Booker had beaten him. He didn’t rise that high again for a while, wrestling on WCW’s minor shows mainly.

But then, during 1999, WCW jumped on a bandwagon that brought him back into the spotlight…

Phase 9- “Hardcore”? One way to put it. “Finlay-esque” would be another.

WCW decided to have a Hardcore Junkyard Invitational match at the 1999 Bash At The Beach, open to all. Massive all in brawl with weapons? Of course Fit would do well. In fact, he won, thanks to the timely intervention of Steve Regal and Dave Taylor, both former foes of Fit.

The following night, Finlay, with his trophy, began having problems with the First Family, Jimmy Hart’s then group. They stole said trophy, and basically insulted Fit. Fit responded by officially aligning with his fellow Great Britain citizens of Regal and Taylor, and the trio set out to fight Hart and his men.

Unfortunately, at a non-televised event, Brian Knobbs of the First Family through Fit through a table, tearing his leg open and slicing through a nerve.

That is what we call very, very bad.

Phase 10- 50/50 chance?

That’s all the doctors gave him to walk again.

Phase 11- Screw That!

And yet, before 1999 was out, Finlay returned, attacking Knobbs. Soon however, the two formed a bond, once again Finlay forming a partnership only after fighting someone. The Hardcore Soldiers began to train hard, wear camouflage and then brought in The Dog.

If one does not remember The Dog, one is very lucky.

However, soon the Hardcore Soldiers disbanded, Knobbs not learning anything from Finlay, or so he claimed. He did win the Hardcore title without Fit, so maybe there was a small amount of truth there. And The Dog, well, screw The Fricking Dog.

In early 2000, Finlay made a last effort to gain the spotlight, targeting hot young thing Vampiro, the two having altercations. Unfortunately, it ended badly for Fit, as he lost a Falls Count Anywhere match to Vampiro at the 2000 Uncensored. At this point, Fit knew he was losing steam, and so he faded away for a while.

Phase 12- Down time.

He went back to England, occasionally wrestling, but not often. But then, a funny thing happened.

Phase 13- Fit Finlay…A ROAD AGENT?

Finlay didn’t leave the WCW payroll, he merely requested, and got, lighter duties. But when Shane bought WCW, he brought him back. But Fit was a little out of fighting shape, and thus Shane did not let him loose on the WWF wrestlers, rather using him as an adviser and trainer for the others. And shockingly, he was good at it, his natural bad-assedness rubbing off. Thus, when WCW and ECW died, the WWF decided to hire him and he began to work full time for the WWF behind the scenes.

For a few years you’d see him break up fights, run security, and generally do all the things WWF/WWE workers do. A main area he had control over was the Women’s Division, and under his guidance the belt had arguably its hottest period, Fit’s natural ability to spot weakness in his opponents transferring nicely to spotting true talent. Under his watch, the Trish/Victoria/Molly/Jazz golden age of women’s wrestling was born.

But then he was transferred to Smackdown.

And then…his blood, slowly, began to boil. Look at Smackdown. Any fool could take these guys on. Hell, he could take this place. And in late 05, he decided he would.

Phase 14- The Return.

Many were sceptical. Some were confused. A few others were up in arms. But the fans were, for the most part, caught unawares. The wrestlers knew. The wrestlers were worried, and their worries were justified as Finlay came back, his methods rough, his many DQs and reversed decisions striking fear into men’s hearts. Except one who was too new or maybe too stupid to realise who he was dealing with.

Phase 14b- Finlay V Lashley

It started out with Finlay and Lashley choosing to team with guys they liked, JBL in Fit’s case, Benoit in Lashley’s. After a couple of tag matches, the two had a one on one match that ended in a double DQ. Then when a slot in the Money In The Bank match at WM22, the result was the same, until the rematch finally saw Fit win in a lumberjack match. Lashley still got into the match via the last chance battle royal, and the two again had a fight on the biggest stage of them all, although neither won that night.

Lashley then eliminated Fit from the King Of The Ring tournament, and Fit knew he needed assistance. Sure, his new shillelagh was enough to help him out of most spots, but he needed a back up, a second ace up his sleeve. And floating about the lower level of the business, he found one.

Phase 15- The Damm Leprechaun.

Hornswoggle, or ‘That Little Bastard’ as he was known before Finlay corrected Michael Cole, debuted at this point. Finlay was the only guy who didn’t freak out, even if Hornswoggle occasionally got over-zealous and attacked him instead of the other guy. He also paid lip service to King Booker, letting him use him as muscle since it got him more fights, although that did not pay off for him in the long run. But Horny paid off fairly quickly.

Phase 15b- Finlay, US Champion!

Because he was instrumental in Finlay beating Bobby Lashley for the US title. Finlay, although enjoying the irony of being most of the fans ‘champion’, still viewed the belt as a means to an end. He had the belt, so people came running. And they did, until he lost the belt a couple of months later to Ken Kennedy.

Phase 16- Trading up.

So, the very next week he went after Batista, after ploughing through Rey Mysterio, and forced himself into Smackdown’s main event scene, chasing the World Title but never quite getting there, getting a couple of shots but always coming this close from the belt, and never getting just over the line.

As 2007 came in, Finlay was firmly entrenched in the Smackdown upper card, lasting over 30 minutes in the Rumble having entered second, getting some momentum, and then The Boogeyman happened.

Phase 17- Finlay got him.

Or rather, The BoogeyMEN happened, as Boogey split into two, Boogey Classic and Boogey Pocket, BP going after Hornswoggle. So Finlay stood up for his buddy, and sent both Boogeymen back to the Pit, although not without a great moment in TV History.

He then moved onto the Wrestlemania, entering the MITB match again but once more failing to win, although his buddy did humiliate Kennedy, which lead to them fighting for a few weeks before Kennedy was beaten then injured. He would get a couple more shots at the world title due to champion’s injury and such, then fighting with Kane and then Rey Mysterio, each time looking for the best fight Smackdown had to offer and getting it. Until eventually, something happened.

Today- “Nobody touches my Leprechaun but ME!”

Hornswoggle, Vince McMahon’s son, was getting threatened by The Great Khali. So, Finlay came out to save him. This has, somehow, gotten Finlay into the fan’s good graces, although perhaps it has more to do with his total lack of awe and respect for Vince McMahon. But he doesn’t care. He just wants a fight, and for only him to be allowed to beat up Hornswoggle. If the fans like him, great. If they don’t, screw ‘em.

Conclusion

It is entirely possible that if he focused less on fighting and more on titles, Fit could be a multi-time champion outside of England. But then, that’s not Fit. Fit is a simple man, with simple tastes and desires.

He wants to hurt people.

And we want to watch him do it.

It’s a dream match-up.

And now, another sliver of a fractured view of life, as from the pen of Dave Lovelace…