wrestling / Columns
The Fink’s Payload 01.23.08: The Royal Rumble
Welcome to The Fink’s Payload – the most interactive column in the history of the Internet Wrestling Community – making its successful return with a ton of readers’ ideas. Unfortunately Jordan could not contribute today due to illness, which means I’ll be going it alone.
Last week we asked the readers to book this Sunday’s Royal Rumble match and we got a pretty decent response. So let’s get straight to the entries, the first of which comes from Payload veteran Stephen Straka;
I’m not going to go into too much detail such as exact numbering and eliminations and all that but here’s a few points:
– Rumble winner is interesting to pick. On one hand, SmackDown won it last year and the only viable challengers are Batista and Undertaker, both of whom have won it already (Taker being last year) and you could just make a match between the two for NWO. On the other hand, we have to keep in mind the Elimination Chamber and Raw definitely has the edge in stars available for that. On the other hand, you could have Big Show and Lashley return on SmackDown. Hmm.
– Chris Harris and Ron Killings make their debuts, eliminating a good number of people before eliminating each other. Commentary puts them over as talented indy workers who want to make a name for themselves.
– Big Show also returns and eliminates a good number of people himself before being ganged up on. After being eliminated, he gets pissed off and goes back into the ring to attack people. It takes the entire legion of refs, rent-a-cops and road agents to drag him away.
– Foley’s role is limited to helping out Hornswoggle. The latter is eliminated when two heels hold Foley back while a third (possibly Khali or even Big Show) picks him up and dumps him out. Foley is then eliminated immediately after. This happens early.
– Matt Hardy returns and beats the shit out of MVP, eliminating him and then eliminating himself to continue the beat down.
– Batista and Undertaker arrive fairly late and focus on each other, attacking other guys only when they attack them.
Really, the Rumble winner can go either way. Since the original advertising for NWO listed the Elimination Chamber as involving Randy Orton with a lack of Y2J, it’s safe to say that plans can and likely will change so the Chamber can be a SmackDown/ECW thing. Honestly, I think Trips will find a way in and will win simply due to his ego but I really don’t want him to. I’ll go with what should happen: Y2J winning, finishing his feud with JBL at NWO and then kicking Orton’s ass for the title at WrestleMania.
Wilcox: It’s an inevitability with booking the Rumble that there are going to be elements we like and elements we don’t, but I think for the most part this is pretty good. I like the idea of debuting a few guys in the Rumble (Harris and Killings) and using it to put them both over. The return of Show is also well done and puts him over as a monster. The Hardy-MVP scenario is good and will likely happen as you described it. As far as I’m concerned, Jericho going over is nothing but a plus and it would really get him back some of that momentum following his initial return. Good stuff all round here.
Next up is Kyle McLaughlin;
Before we get to the Rumble Match, a key to the storyline is who wins the championship matches. With ease, Edge will defeat Rey Rey as the Ultimate Underdog falls short again as he prepares for another inevitable feud with Chavo.
The intriguing one is Orton vs. Hardy where RKO goes over with a clean victory. In the match’s finale, Hardy hits the Twist of Fate and goes up top for the Swanton. Orton gets up in time and dives for the ropes, knocking Hardy down, straddles the turnbuckle. Orton grabs him by the head and RKO’s him off the top rope. Sweet finish. However, Orton isn’t done with Hardy. He gets the mic and tells him that he’s the “Legend of Jeff Hardy will never begin.” Big concussion kick to the face, Jeff gets carted out.
Onto the Rumble match. With one entry remaining, the only men left in the ring are HHH, Batista, the Undertaker, Shelton Benjamin, Mark Henry and the Miz. Then the last entrant’s music hits, big surprise, it’s the returning Big Show. (I’m stealing this from Wilcox). Show steps in the ring and immediately disposes of the Miz. He grabs Shelton by the throat but Mark Henry stops him. They double team Show as HHH and Batista battle in the corner. Undertaker walks over and all three men then jump Taker and toss him over. Henry and Shelton begin to fight as Show admires his work. Batista comes up from behind and flips Show. Show is pissed. He pulls Batista over the top and destroys him, leading to a feud. Final Three are HHH, Shelton and Mark Henry. We all know where this is going. No epic final two here. HHH eliminates Henry before having a good set with Shelton. Shelton goes for the big spring board a la his match against HBK on RAW which resulted in the Sweet Chin Music. Instead, HHH kicks him in the gut on the way down, hits the Pedigree. He picks up Shelton and tosses him over the top. HHH goes on to Mania to face Orton.
At No Way Out, Orton and his tag team partners Umaga and Kennedy are set to face HHH in a handicap match. HHH defeats Umaga in a singles match on RAW the week before to earn himself a partner so it’s 2-3. At the PPV, it’s revealed Hardy is back and wants at Orton. HHH and Hardy win the match pinning Umaga as Orton gets out of there.
The next night on RAW, Hardy and HHH are talking in the ring again, welcoming Jeff back. Orton comes out to confront them. Then out comes Regal. Points down the ramp to the ring and announces that the Wrestlemania 24 Main Event will now be a Triple Threat. Randy Orton defending the belt against both HHH and Jeff Hardy. Crowd pops huge, Orton is irate. HHH smiles, turns to Hardy, offers a handshakes and then Pedigrees him. Crowd goes silent. HHH points up the ramp at Orton and jaws at him. Points down at Hardy and has a few words and storms out.
Now, you have Orton as the chicken shit heel. Jeff Hardy is the crowd favorite that will get all the kids cheering. Then HHH is the lone wolf, renegade who will do whatever it takes to get the belt. He’ll be cheered by the men in the crowd for being a badass.
Pair this with an Edge/Taker main event (Hell in the Cell maybe?), and you got yourself a damn good show.
– Kyle, Baltimore
Wilcox: I’m not a huge fan of the Rumble scenario itself, though I liked the Big Show’s return (obviously) and I also liked Orton putting Hardy on the shelf after the title match though I do wonder if Hardy would lose a lot of momentum if he went out now. But what is great about this is the scenario going into Mania with Orton heel, Hardy face and Triple H a tweener. Good booking there.
We move on, and our next entry is from Jeff Copeland;
It has been a long a tiring match but the final two in are Shawn Michaels and MVP. (I know MVP had a match with Flair earlier but he came in at like #28). HBK goes up top for the elbow but MVP pushes him off and almost out of the ring. Michaels is holding on for dear life while MVP is celebrating like he won the Rumble when Matt Hardy comes out from under the ring and attacks MVP and eliminating him. That way we get HBK in a title match at WrestleMania and the Hardy-MVP feud is fresh in the people’s minds again in case they forgot about it.
Jeff
Wilcox: What I like about this is Hardy returning to cost MVP the match and you’ve put that feud over as a big deal which is great. But this could have been done by using Hardy as an entrant. And having Michaels go over without actually tossing out his opponent is a little iffy in my book. I think you’ve got a good idea here but not the greatest execution.
Next up, with two entries (the cheek of it!) is Matt Eli;
Great to have the Payload back, man. I’m actually going to write-in with two possible outcomes to the Royal Rumble, and if you like one, loathe the other, you can post one, or you can like them both (preferable) or loathe them both (perfectly fine, too).
Scenario 1:
The Royal Rumble Match usually has one guy who lasts a long time, and becomes sort of the MVP (not Montel Vontavious Porter; most valuable player) of said Rumble. In 2008, I’d give that role to Mr. Kennedy. He’s a rising star, and he’s once again got momentum. He gets near-eliminated a few times, but he hangs on, and hangs back each time.
After #30 (Umaga) has entered, we are left with the possibility of either Mr. Kennedy, Finlay, Kane, Chris Jericho, Big Show, The Undertaker, Bobby Lashley or Umaga winning the entire thing. Bobby Lashley gets a head full of steam, and tosses Umaga. Kane sits Finlay on the top rope, then uppercuts him and he’s gone. Lashley then tries to eliminate The Undertaker in the same way as Umaga, but Taker low bridges, and Lashley flies out and over the top rope. Shawn Michaels manages to eliminate the man who dumped him out last year, but giving The Undertaker a Sweet Chin Music after Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins run down and soften him up (again). HBK then tries to eliminate Kane in similar fashion, but Kane catches HBK, and tries to back body drop him over like Taker did last year, but HBK holds on and tries to skin the cat; Kane catches Michaels, and then hits a modified through-the-ropes Tombstone type move, and HBK bounces to the floor. This gives us the unlikely Final Four of Mr. Kennedy, Kane, Chris Jericho and Big Show.
Big Show clotheslines Kane out of the match, and continues to look like a world beater since his return, but he then finds himself double-teamed by Mr. Kennedy and Chris Jericho, and he’s out of the match. Jericho is sore as hell from his match against JBL (which becomes a Royal Rumble Qualifier, explaining how he gets in there), and a post-match assault from the Commentating God. Jericho is busted open, and entered #24, or something, and the commentators question how much gas he has in the tank. Mr. Kennedy enters very early in the match (like #3), and is also busted open. Jericho and Kennedy have a lot of near-misses against each other, but eventually, Chris Jericho gets Mr. Kennedy in the Walls of Jericho (a more Liontamer-esque version), and Jericho holds the move on Kennedy until he passes out, ala Stone Cold Steve Austin against Bret Hart in the I Quit Match. Jericho then throws the unconscious body of Mr. Kennedy over the top rope, eliminating him.
This leads to Jericho facing Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania, as Jeff Hardy or Randy Orton loses the belt to HBK at No Way Out. The Rumble sort of foreshadows a more opportunistic HBK, and that does lead to a heel turn of sorts, to make his character more interesting, and spice up WrestleMania. HBK goes on to tap out to Jericho’s “Liontamer” Walls of Jericho, and Jericho wins his second WWE Championship in the main event of WrestleMania, and his return actually does mean something.
As for Mr. Kennedy? He apparently spends a little while on bed rest from his ordeal, and has to miss RAW, but a representative says he will talk to us on SmackDown!. When Kennedy arrives on SmackDown!, he is greeted by Edge, who points out that Kennedy dropped the ball again. Edge reminds Kennedy that he originally won the World Heavyweight Title with Kennedy’s own title shot. Kennedy then reminds Edge that it was he who ended Edge’s undefeated streak at WrestleMania. Edge then says he is yet to be pinned or submit at WrestleMania, so Kennedy sets out to do that, and win his first World Heavyweight Championship. Where does this leave The Undertaker? After eliminating Bobby Lashley, the WWE’s third Superman challenges Taker to a match, and when Taker does not reply, Lashley interferes in his last opportunity at the World Heavyweight Title against Edge at No Way Out, and costs the Dead Man the belt. This gets Taker’s attention, and The Undertaker defends his 15-0 record against Bobby Lashley at WrestleMania.
Scenario 2:
It’s a little bizarre that CM Punk and Edge now have a quasi-feud going. It’s also bizarre that the WWE has scheduled Chavo Guerrero’s ECW Title Match on Sci-Fi rather than the Rumble. By the time this theoretically gets read by anyone, I’m sure it will have been revealed that Punk loses to Chavo via DQ (creating a mirror in their losses to each other: Punk wins via countout, Punk wins via DQ, Chavo wins via countout, Chavo wins via DQ), confirming a match where a clear decision must be reached at the Rumble; or Big Daddy V will have attacked Punk and set up another classic between those two, but I prefer to live in my own fantasy land.
Next week, Triple H loses his Rumble Qualifier to a returning Big Show, and this finally forces him to snap. Triple H then regains his composure a little after trashing the ringside area. Triple H says that there is still an open spot on the Rumble card: He is going to challenge or the ECW Championship at the Royal Rumble. This is of course a bit of surprise, and no one has ever really (realistically) pictured Triple H going after the ECW belt. CM Punk welcomes Triple H to Sci-Fi that week, and says that it would be an honour to face him. Chavo Guerrero is not so happy to see The Game, and says he’s not a part of SmackDown! or ECW, so he shouldn’t be welcome here. Armando Estrada does rule with Chavo, and says that Triple H will not get the title shot.
The main event sees Chavo Guerrero actually win the ECW Title with help from Edge, Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins. Edge and Chavo celebrate with their matching World Title belts, but Armando Estrada is then chucked out on the new ECW stage, beaten and bloodied. Edge & Chavo stop, confused, and then Triple H walks on stage with a microphone in his hand, and asks Armando if he has something to say. The assaulted Estrada says that Chavo will defend the ECW Title against Triple H at the Royal Rumble.
On SmackDown!, CM Punk qualifies for the Royal Rumble Match, and enters the Rumble while a SmackDown! guy and a RAW guy fight over his title. The ECW Title Match sees Triple H win via disqualification, as The Edge Heads run in and attack Triple H, also keeping him distracted while Chavo escapes with the belt. CM Punk enters the Royal Rumble, anh Pd he lasts a long time in the match, while favourites like The Undertaker and Batista are picked off by The Edge Heads, under Vickie Guerrero’s orders. Punk then finds himself in the final two against someone who has a slight chance of winning. I’d suggest Big Show, seeing as he’d be just off a clean win against Triple H, and is always a credible foil. Punk somehow manages to get rid of Show, and wins the 2008 Royal Rumble.
From there, you go one of two ways. Either Edge defends the World Heavyweight Championship against CM Punk, and Chavo Guerrero defends the ECW Championship against Rey Mysterio, or someone OR CM Punk wins back the ECW Championship in his rematch, and uses his Rumble shot against Edge, and we get a unification match at WrestleMania. The reasoning behind this would be that with SmackDown! and ECW now having the talent exchange, and effectively becoming one “super-brand,” there is really only need for one World Champion between them both.
Wilcox: I love your first scenario. Michaels/Jericho had a classic match five years ago and it would be great to re-live that. Turning Kennedy face and sending him to SmackDown sounds like a good idea to me, and Lashley going heel (and presumably going to SmackDown) adds another star and a bit more depth to a roster that has only three main-event players right now. You’ve created what sounds like a really intriguing and potentially great sets of main events for Mania.
The second scenario is not so great in my opinion. I don’t see the need to unify titles because the ECW gold is more or less a second tier title now and is viewed as such by most fans. It’d be best to go with Punk getting the surprise win and not regaining the ECW gold. As far as Triple H going after the ECW title, it’s not going to happen, but it sounds like a good angle and one the you have booked very well.
We’re hitting the home stretch now. Next up is Travis Homewood;
So my booking would go as follows. Vince is tired of HHH’s shenanigans and his mystery opponent this Monday is big show making his return. He looks like a beast but gets disqualified for Chokeslamming HHH through the announcers table. So HHH is in the rumble but Vince wants to jerk him around some more so he rules that HHH has to enter at #1. HHH does end up making the final four. The announcers are hyping that while HHH has one the Rumble once he didn’t do it from #1 like his running buddy HBK. The final 4 should probably be The Big Show, HHH, the Undertaker, and Batista. Vince has made his way out to ringside by this point and has jumped up on the apron to distract HHH 2 or three times now and he almost got eliminated because of it. Vince slides a chair in to show but as Show goes to hit HHH Batista spears him. Batista stands up and is looking to help is buddy HHH when Taker just clotheslines him out of the ring. HHH gets up and is leaning on the rope. Show goes to toss him with a clothesline and Vince jumps up and pulls down the top rope. As Show hits HHH they both roll over the top rope Vince pulled down.
Taker wins 2 years in a row, giving us Taker Edge at mania, HHH vs Big Show in a real match at No Way Out and HHH/Vince at mania. Or even Batista vs Big Show at No Way Out then HHH/Show at mania with Vince in Show’s corner.
Wilcox: First of all, congrats on being the first to get four huge stars into the final four, I like making the Rumble feel as important as possible. But we have a problem here that I illustrated in an earlier entry and that the winner goes over without tossing the final participant. The focus here would be on the McMahon/Triple H angle as opposed to Taker winning the Rumble. And I don’t want Taker to win two years in a row any way.
Next up is Joe Hoferer;
The Participants
Already In:(19) Umaga Snitsky Hardcore Holly The Miz John Morrison Hornswoggle Mick Foley Batista Undertaker Kane Jamie Noble Finlay Cody Rhodes Shelton Benjamin Carlito Santino Marella Shawn Michaels Mark Henry The Great Khali
Predicted Additional:(11) Triple H, Bobby Lashley, Big Show, Matt Hardy, Mr. Kennedy, Elija Burke, Big Daddy V, Deuce, Domino, Brian Kendrick, Paul London
Final 8: Undertaker, Umaga, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Shelton Benjamin, Triple H, Mr.Kenedy, Bobby Lashley
I’ll start here as the rest is usually filler. Batista and Big Show have already eliminated each other and taken out an announce table making a hint at a future fued. Umaga and Shelton Benjamin are working on Undertaker when #30 comes in being Matt Hardy. He gets in the ring, following an earlier attack on MVP to help Flair. MVP comes down and dumps him over the top rope. They have a pull apart brawl over the barracade and though a back exit.(continues their fued for No Way Out and Mania.) While Kane and Undertaker work together taking out Umaga, Benjamin comes from behind in the process and unbalances the two to eliminate the Brothers of Destruction. While bragging he turns around into a Sweet Chin Music from HBK taking us down to HBK, Triple H, Bobby Lashley, and Mr. Kennedy. Michaels and Kennedy pair off, as do HHH and Lashley. HBK goes to superkick Kennedy, but gets upended and head scissors kennedy and himself over the top.
Final Two: Triple H and Bobby Lashley. They tangle for a while until Triple H reversed a quick attempt at the Dominator and turns it into a gut kick, pedegree and tosses a shaken Lashley up and over. This shows that WWE is invested in pushing Lashley, but not quite yet as they can use Triple H for another main event for Mania.
2008 Royal Rumble Winner: Triple H
Wilcox: Using the Rumble to kick off new or keep old feuds going is always a good idea. I’m not sold on Triple H going over though, but you’ve also built up the stock of Shelton, Kennedy and Lashley here which is a big plus.
And what better way to end this edition of the Payload than with an entry from the only guy that’s been doing the Payload longer than Jordan and myself, Dan from Brooklyn;
A grand return indeed to my boys at the Payload…or should I say, a ROYAL return…
Okay, first of all, this needs to be said…NO TRIPLE H!!! I think the current angle going of Triple H being screwed around by Vince is good and keeping him out of the Rumble leaves the winner in doubt whereas him in there is a foregone conclusion to me.
So we shall skip to the FINAL FOUR as we have 3 former Rumble winners and one wildcard. Batista and Undertaker representing SD and Shawn Michaels and Mr. Kennedy representing Raw. Kennedy gets the semi-Rumble push this year to really start him off on a good note, probably by having him enter early somewhere in the single digits and have him last a good chunk of time. Then to top everything off, HE gets the key eliminations of Undertaker after an errant Sweet Chin Music and then eliminates Shawn himself to get the last laugh in their feud for the time being. That leaves SD’s Batista and Raw’s Kennedy and after a few hard fought minutes Kennedy charges into a spinebuster and gets dumped out giving BATISTA his second Royal Rumble win. As he celebrates Triple H walks out on the ramp and sarcastically claps.
This would set up an angle where Triple H pulls old Evolution strings, shows up on Smackdown and tells Batista to man up since he wasn’t in the Rumble, Batista cannot claim he beat everyone. After an awesome SD segment with both men Batista agrees to put up his shot at Wrestlemania against HHH at No Way Out. Vince one ups them by making former Evolution partner Ric Flair the special ref in that match and continuing his storyline where if Flair doesn’t call it down the middle, he is FIIIIIIIIIIIRRREEEEDDD!!!!
The final result of this booking strand is the main event of WrestleMania on the Raw side which would be (C) Orton vs. Batista vs. Triple H vs. Flair in a 4 -corner Evolution reunion match. The SD main event will see (C) Edge vs. Undertaker with Taker winning the Elimination Chamber at NWO.
Welcome back and enjoy
Dan from Brooklyn
Wilcox: Evolution four-corners match? We have a winner! This would be a great way to go and moving Batista to Raw is something that would breathe new life into his character and we still get the Taker/Edge match, plus Kennedy is put over in a big way. I approve.
This is the part of the column where Jordan and I present our own booking ideas for the Rumble. As Jordan’s not here today, we just have my idea left;
My number one entrant is Hornswoggle (tough love) and number two is Khali. Khali toys with him and locks in the Vice Grip as number 3, Finlay, enters. Finlay chops the big man down with the shillelagh and eliminates him. He then eliminates Horny because he doesn’t want him to get hurt and now all the bullshit is out of the way early. Santino is next and wastes the entire time cutting a promo. Bob Holly is next and tosses Santino into the ring. Morrison, Carlito, Mark Henry and Shannon Moore are the next few guys. Shawn Michaels enters here and tosses Moore, Henry and Carlito. Shelton, Miz and Cody Rhodes are out now. Shelton tosses Cody and Holly. Santino hides out and Morrison and Miz double team Finlay out. Kane is next and dominates until HBK hits a kick and eliminates him. Shelton, Miz and Morrison triple team HBK until Triple H comes out at number 15. DX toss all three men and BDV is out next. They team up but he takes them out. Taker is out now and tosses Big Daddy V. Jimmy Wang Yang is out now but gets tossed. Umaga is next out, followed by MVP at 20. Umaga gets tossed by HBK, but Umaga busts Shawn open afterwards following a chair shot. Snitsky is out now and he quickly gets tossed by Taker. Santino crawls back in to try and toss Taker but gets thrown out. Colin Delaney is 22 but he gets killed and tossed by Taker. Triple H and Taker go at it and Batista is out now. Batista and Triple H team up. Kennedy is out now and goes after Michaels. Shawn eliminates him, but Kennedy comes back in and tosses Shawn. Chavo Guerrero is 24. Lashley returns at 25. Lashley eliminates Guerrero and Batista! MVP eliminates Lashley as Matt Hardy returns at 26. Hardy eliminates himself in the process of tossing MVP. Taker and Triple H are left as CM Punk enters next. Jamie Noble enters next at 28. Chris Jericho is in at 29 and Big Show is number 30. Show is dominant but Noble gets the Maven/Taker style elimination on Show! Show destroys him and Noble is gone.
Final four are Punk, Taker, Triple H and Chris Jericho. Edge and the Edgeheads run down and beat down Taker, then throw him over the top rope! Triple H fights off Punk and Jericho. He backdrops Punk to the apron and Punk comes back with a springboard clothesline. Jericho tries to get the Walls on Punk but Punk kicks him off. Jericho hits an enziguri and tries for the Codebreaker but Punk catches him and dumps him over! Triple H tries for a Pedigree on Punk, but it’s reversed. Punk hits the Go2Sleep, Triple H staggers backwards and Punk clotheslines him over the top! Punk wins and goes onto WrestleMania 24 to face Edge.
And that’s it for this week’s edition of The Fink’s Payload. A big thank you to all those who sent in entries.
I was going to set the booking of the Elimination Chamber as this week’s homework, but we’ll save that for now as the winner of the Rumble will probably have a big impact on those ideas. So we’ll start off with a little bit of WrestleMania fun. Book the participants and outcome of this year’s Money in the Bank Ladder match and send all ideas to [email protected].
Hopefully Jordan we’ll get better and be able to join us next week, but for now I’m done. Be sure to check out Jordan’s Why I Love/Hate Wrestling at the weekend and my Thoughts From The Top Rope, the latest edition of which is available in the wrestling section right now.
Get those entries in and we’ll see you back here next week!
More Trending Stories
- Jim Ross Says AEW Launched At The Right Time, Praises Excalibur
- Eric Bischoff Thinks Cody Rhodes Will Need To Make Certain Changes To His Character
- Booker T Doesn’t Want To Manage Jade Cargill & Bianca Belair As The New Harlem Heat
- Jeff Jarrett Explains Why Goldberg Didn’t Have More WCW World Title Reigns
