Your Viral Dose of Reality 1.29.08: Viral Blogging with the Virus

January 26, 2008

There’s clearly a lot to talk about in wrestling, but I’m always drawing blanks to them at times like these. I have a history book sized load of DVD’s I need to catch up with and watch, a DVR on the brink of exploding out of its seems filled with WWE material I have to watch and burn to DVD-R, and a Royal Rumble party to prepare for at a friend’s place. I’ve wasted away most of the day playing around on Skype and jamming out Guitar Hero 3, which has now allowed my fingers to move at such a pace that I’m now typing all of this as basically as the words form in my head – which is a first.

This is my lazy man’s Saturday, and all I can think about is what do I do next?

Thinking positive with TNA

The only thing that spring to mind to even type about today (Saturday), would be the experience of sitting with a copy of TNA’s Impact, on Skype, with EcwHardCore07 and calvin8hobbs as we watched it together. Now, calvin8hobbs is a pretty loyal and devoted TNA fan who believes that things could eventually get better – this may be because he has the psychology that it couldn’t possibly get worse, though me and Jim (EcwHardCore07) always constantly rib him of the otherwise.

Sitting through the show, I had few mark out moments, with a lot of cringing and crying portions of the show. I sit here and say Impact wasn’t completely horrible this week, but it was a long stretch from being confused with a decent to good show. The few things they did right were clearly over shadowed and made to look like utter flukes on a show that has perfected failure as an art.

Tyson Tomko

I would pay good money to see Tyson Tomko feud with Kurt Angle in the main event. Whether others would too, or not, is beyond me, but if built properly, and strongly, I wouldn’t doubt the interest exploding into a financial capital gain for TNA, as well as spark up their pay-per-view buys to look more impressive [than their roughly estimated figures.]

I like what they did last week [writing in the future tense] that led to Tomko and Angle exchanging blows, and I like how it’s split Tomko’s team and friendship with AJ Styles, who is still playing the character Eric Young should have right now. I’m upset that they’re going to have the two even interact this week on iMPACT! only because it detracts a bit from the allure of seeing what these two could do together, but mostly because it comes a week before the Against All Odds pay-per-view, which needs some sort of hype around Cage and Angle’s match, and this match may detract from that somewhat.

Another thing that bothers me about this is they’ll be straining the relationship with AJ Styles too early, leading to a possible passing of the TNA Tag Team Championships to BG James and his aging, decrepit, slagging, sagging, broken down and useless “goods” father, “Bullet” Bob Armstrong. We don’t want to see the father and son duo in the first place, let alone win the Tag Team Titles just because some Jerry-fingering twit in the back had this great notion to smear their shit on the wall and call it a storyline concept. I’m not the only one uninterested in the tandem, and I’ll be damned if I’m the only voice angrily shouting out [loud] about it.

I would seriously buy Bound for Glory if it featured Kurt Angle defending the TNA [World] Heavyweight Championship against Tyson Tomko, so long as they book it properly, much in the way TNA should’ve booked Angle vs. [Samoa] Joe, or [Jeff] Jarrett vs. Joe. Please, TNA, do this one right and get some money out of this feud!

Hot and Spicy – And He’s Always Delicious

How can you not mark out for Curry Man? Just what kind of a monster are you to deny yourself the pleasure of enjoying this fine specimen of hot, delicious, spicy goodness that is the tantalizing Curry Man? You’re just not human, I say!

As fun as it is to see Christopher Daniels as his true form, the Fallen Angel, seeing him play up this whacky and silly character is just fun, and shows the depths of how much of a tremendous talent he is – showcasing how TNA has clearly dropped the ball on him, and how completely inept the WWE was at not signing this gifted talent.

Damaged goods? I decree that is nonsense of the highest accord and that there are far more injury prone idiots strolling around with WWE contracts, so that argument falls flat on its face.

Spotty? Nothing could be further from the truth. Daniels is a man who understands the game of wrestling; he understands this business better than some of the highly acclaimed ring veterans of the WWE, and he has vastly superior conditioning to some of the top stars the WWE has to offer, including CM Punk. C.D. actually knows how to tell a story in the ring, establish meaning behind his moves and set up his spots properly so they always make sense. I defy someone to tell me otherwise and still not come off as completely missing the point, if not downright uneducated.

Christopher Daniels is a golden nugget of goodness and a prominent World Champion that has yet been given his opportunity to shine; even in ROH. It’s a shame that Curry Man isn’t the right gimmick to get him closer to the title, but at least for now, we can all share a good laugh and a hot, delicious, mouth watering, savory morsel of talented goodness that is the Curry [not Tim*].

* +5 Points to any reader who can successfully explain that joke without the aid of Google, and -50 points for actually participating in this silly little game.

Save Us Tiger Mask

I don’t know what the deal is with Tiger Mask in TNA – is he only here for a few recordings? Could he be the newest addition to the full time roster? Is he part of a talent exchange that will see him here for a limited time while we get rid of someone else for the time being? Whatever it is, I like it.

Tell me his theme music doesn’t kick so much ass – no, as a matter of fact, don’t, because I know you’re just hating on him because he’s got the funky fresh jacket, the sly bell bottom looking pants, and the ultra stylish and sexy mask that makes him look like a fierce, vicious tiger. You fucking hater.

What’s not to like about Satoru Sayama’s kid? He’s actually even better than Sayama, just off the fact that he’s not as sloppy and spot happy as Sayama used to be. Tiger Mask IV is actually quite the draw and so much more sound in the ring. He’s so crisp and clean, plus he’s pretty fly for an Asian guy.

Plus, he came out and teamed up with Curry Man [ZOMG!!! CURRY MAN & TIGER MASK FTW!!!] in a fun little match that is forgivable just because of their combined awesomeness.

As a matter of fact, let’s play a quick little game to pass the time [and eat at some pages to make my life easier on this article].

Five things cooler than Tiger Mask and Curry Man

1. Mel Gibson and David Hasselhoff drinking in a Las Vegas hotel room together, with OJ Simpson cleaning out the mini-bar, and their belongings, all while being filmed for the purpose of being placed on the intrawebs for our enjoyment.
2. The New York Mets building an entire, functioning, dominant team around backup catchers that play all positions and do nothing but win games they technically should be losing.
3. Ann Coulter being exposed on Faux News that she actually is part man and that he/she has been playing the role of a dimwitted blonde twit, Republican puppet fuck all to land the part of Orlando Blooms love interest in his next, upcoming pussy parade party film – along with Macaulay Culkin.
4. Bill Clinton, in the ultimate political pundit move to secure votes and popularity, offers Barack Obama the opportunity for a three some with Hillary, live on CNN, during one of the many boring debates sure to come in the future, before he’s forced to serve as the vice president on the ballots.
5. Mountain [fucking] Dew…and a dog that pisses Mountain [fucking] Dew.

All of that is still not as cool as Tiger Mask and Curry Man – except for maybe number 1, only minus OJ Simpson, and all.

All Hail Prince AJ and his Queen, Karen.

At this point, who doesn’t think AJ and Karen will start boning? Come on, show of hands.

The chemistry between these two is nice, and it really sets up a nice undertone to allow AJ an out from being Angle’s lackey. The only problem with this is the relationship with Kurt and Karen and if they feel comfortable with her playing the on-air role of AJ’s secret lover – well, that and it needing to be written and acted out well enough for the fans to not only care but actually buy into it legitimately.

Personally, I don’t mind a storyline like this developing so long as it’s done well enough to grab at my attention and get me to care about all of the participants, while establishing a good series of heat leading into the matches that would determine the outcome of this story. The major problem with doing it is that this is TNA, and no matter how much hope you put into them to do something right, they always find a way to disappoint you, leaving me to wonder why I should invest in them, emotionally.

Let’s hope for the best of this, because the chemistry between the two is genuine and feels good. It’s a nice start-up idea for pulling AJ out of the Angle Coalition, if that’s the end result they wish to accomplish. If not, at least it just looks good seeing Karen look so slutty around Prince AJ who is still a bit of an interesting character, but still strikes me as being what Eric Young would be if TNA had the brain to evolve his character, somewhat.

Moving on…

And moving the topic along, I figured I’d whore out one of my own videos, again, getting some interest behind it.After my article, last week, went up, I got a few friends on Skype interested in checking out the NWA Wrestling Showcase, sparking a somewhat roundtable discussion about the show and how bad it actually was. It’s not the greatest, and half way through I feel the effects of that laxative they call a show, forcing me to run off for a good portion of the discussion/ranting.

January 28, 2008

Skipping Sunday’s entry, I figured I’d go into the aftermath of the Rumble. Besides, Sunday morning was an uneventful time for me, and wrestling thoughts, while Monday morning has given me a lot to write about, and laugh at.

The Royal Rumble

And event that looked good on paper much in the same way Survivor Series 2006 looked good on paper, but the overall execution wasn’t exactly how you would peg such a strong looking card. It certainly was a fun event to watch, and the overall atmosphere is what you’d expect from the New York crowd which is usually a blend of naïve youth and overly ambitious elitism without any of the brains to power said elitism.

The big shocker to this event, of course, being John Cena’s return to the spotlight. This, of course, would provoke some thoughts, and requires an entire topic all to his lonesome.

Cena: The Returning Chapter

Anyone who gripes about John Cena really needs to explain what the problem is these days, especially considering he’s grown into his role as a main eventer. Anyone who denies the pop he received upon his entrance into the Rumble simply needs their head examined.

I know this is a touchy topic for a lot of pseudo smart fans out there, and it’s one that always provokes the aged old response of “Cena sucks!” without any real logic or thought behind it all. For the most part, today’s fans whom still hate on Cena really are grasping at straws to debunk him and his drawing ability. Cena isn’t the best wrestler, but then again, considering this is the WWE and most of us who grew up with it didn’t really get into it, at first, because of the brilliant wrestling. The selling point of the WWE has always been characters, and that can proven to be no truer than during the Attitude era.

The initial return of Cena sparked a positive enough reaction, and once people realized who they were cheering that reaction changed. Everyone can deny that this didn’t shock them and pull some sort of positive emotion out of them, for even the briefest of moments, but to deny yourself the truth only hurts you, not the rest of us.

Johnny-boy was part of something that night, and did something that most fans who’ve turned their back on the WWE have wanted for ages – the surprise factor. Finally they get it and, being the typical fans that they are, they don’t want it anymore.

It’s much in the same way when talking to “Calvin,” earlier, he wanted to see the end of Black Machismo, only to see it and not want it anymore. Fans are like that, and in some respects, they should really note it and realize why companies like the WWE don’t listen to them as a whole, especially when you considering James Mitchell’s words – from his blog that I posted some time ago: for those that don’t remember this, or didn’t bother to read it, here’s another look at it.

“As long as they continue to watch me on television in order to write their rants, critics keep my Neilsen ratings consistent. In their zealous quest to harm me, they wind up helping me.“
~ James Mitchell: My Thoughts On Self-Appointed Internet Wrestling Critics

And it’s true; Cena “haters” are still tuning in and supporting him despite their intentions. Why should the WWE listen to you vocalizing weasels if the dollar is speaking in a louder volume and register? The WWE knows when to listen to their fans, and that’s when their fans stop giving them their money.

A few years ago I actually campaigned for anyone that disliked Cena to simply turn off the WWE product, as a whole, off. If you don’t like him, and you want him, and the rest of the product to change, don’t tune in – don’t give them the revenue to support their ideas as being good and creative. I still, to this day, don’t like everything John Cena has become, but in the years since those ignorant days, I’ve grown, and learned to appreciate what he’s doing and actually appreciate how far he’s come along, but at least I can rationalize my dislike of him and understand the best way to hurt him and the WWE. It’s not a riot, it’s not a petition to remove him from programming or strip him of the title, it’s not a video to post on YouTube or a blog entry to post on MySpace, and it certainly, most definitely, isn’t a spree of articles complaining about him and how bad you naively think he is: it’s a simple protest of turning off the television. It’s a simple protest of not buying the pay-per-views, or the DVD’s, or the t-shirts, or any other merchandise that features his likeness, or the WWE’s logo.

Even when I’m complaining about Triple H, I know the only way to hurt him is to turn him off – to hit the WWE in the pocket book so they get the message that I’m not paying for that two-bit hack that still holds delusional desires to live out the spot that Austin got in his place. I can complain about him all I want in my articles, but that’s not going to hurt him: I’ve understood that since day one. It’s okay to be vocal about your dislike of anyone on the product, but if you’re still buying the product, and still paying to see what you hate just to fuel your criticisms of him and the product, then you’re not being productive.

Of course I’m going to try and do a video on this, especially directed to a couple of individuals who do nothing but complain about John Cena at every chance they get because it helps build their subscriber base, but for the time being, this is my article, and my random thoughts.

Wrapping it up

At the end of the day, no matter what you like, we’re always going to bitch about something, might as well enjoy the bitching while it lasts.