Your Viral Dose of Reality 2.12.08: Randomly Viral

TNA Presents: Greed 2008

I don’t care what people think of me when I say this, but I watched TNA Against All Odds on a shitty stream, and I went ahead, at the end of the night, and downloaded the torrent, will burn that fucker to a DVD, and never watch it again. It’ll be my tool of reference to showcase a failed attempt to feature an event to a loyal fanbase that has become so gullible as to still hold onto the simple minded belief that TNA is delivering a great product for them. I thank the Lord above – whatever you call him, however you believe Him to look, or Her to look, and whatever rules you believe he bestows upon us all – that some TNA fans are actually starting to realize that they do deserve better.

I understand that most of you [TNA fans] are bitter and angry at the WWE for focusing their product away from what you want, and were willing to pay for, but even you need to come to grips that TNA, right now, is making crucial mistake, after crucial mistake that is hurting itself, and spitting in your face.

I don’t care how many of you are too bitter to give Ryan Byers points for his Impact Crater last week, but he hit the nail on the head throughout the entire piece. Why? Because he called TNA on their apparent flaws that you all can see – the stuff that you should be thinking, “why are they doing this?” The stuff that you should be crying, “TNA is spitting in our face; it’s questioning our intelligence,” because that’s what they’ve done each and every week, now.

Painting a rosy picture of TNA isn’t going to help them out. You people want to inflict change in the WWE, so most of you latched onto this alternative product that was just making itself available to a national audience and was giving you what you thought you wanted most, and it did its part – for a while. But when do you all get to scream that TNA needs to do what brought you to their product? When do you cry that TNA needs to change for the better? When do you actually put your foot down and pronounce to the world, “I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to [fucking] take it anymore”?

I don’t follow the logic here anymore, and I certainly can’t give Glenn Gilbertti points for his argument against Konnan, though I had to deduct a shit load of points from Konnan for being unable to argue an intelligent point against the ratings – saying that the people who are watching must be retards? I can do that here because I don’t care to be objective in my “hatred” of TNA, but if I’m going to argue a point, I’m not going to use a flawed thought process, when I can easily grab facts, throw them into his face and laugh at their inability to counter reality.

I can’t be bothered to care for Against All Odds, which I can clearly hear in the background, while I sit in a Skype conference with two TNA fans who are crying about how bad this show has become.

All I know is TNA gives me no reason to care about their overall product. People can hate me for wanting to see Tomko and Angle go at it, something I think could sell well if they give Tomko the Joe treatment that Joe didn’t get – the build that leads to a good payoff with Angle at Bound for Glory for the richest prize in the company.

See, I’m not going to take any low shots here; I’m going to actually voice out my issues with TNA that are easily fixable, the stuff that should be better right now.

Structure.

Why does this company lack it considering how many great wrestling minds they have under their contract? I know, a lot of you are going to cry about Vince Russo, but you can’t accredit the Attitude Era without him, and the reason for that is because Russo did make that era what it was all under someone who could tell him what was good and what wasn’t. But that all aside, it’s not his fault TNA is as bad as it is right now, because his input is limited under Jeff Jarrett and Dutch Mantel. Hell, even Jeremy Borash has more input in the direction of the product than Russo, but all you ever hear is how bad a job Vincy is doing, which boggles my mind.

Yeah, you guys were right in chanting, “fire Russo” last year at Final Resolution because it was a vocal outcry about the crap direction the company was taking. My problem with it was that the message was wrong – the sentiment was right. While you all were crying for a change in direction, Dixie shrugged it off and remarked that the fans don’t know what they’re talking about as Vince isn’t the problem – you all would shrug that off as her being protective of one of her employees, which was wrong.

This company has Mike Tenay, who is clearly has one of the best minds in the industry seeing as he follows everything wrestling and is said to have one of the biggest tape libraries in the industry, why not utilize him in a better role? Have him book some matches and write some stories? You still have Scott D’Amore who was the man behind the undercard of 2005 – if you guys really enjoyed that era in TNA’s history, then why aren’t you crying for D’Amore to get his spot back as the main writer? They had Raven, who could come up with a million different stories to put the shows over that would make sense, but instead opted to utilize him as a broken down wrestler, all because Jeff Jarrett has a personal problem with him.

You still have Jim Cornette under contract, so why not use him as your head booker? Shit, he could be the muzzle on Russo that you need, so Russo gets filtered to deliver only the goods you’ve seen from him in the Attitude Era, and none of the crap. Fucking hell, you could even use Kevin Nash’s mind for the industry to really put on a better product than this. I don’t even care if he starts holding down the “vanilla midgets” so long as he actually utilizes them in a big enough role to keep us entertained in the undercard.

And you know how you can get your message across to TNA? How you can instill the change? Turn them off.

The pay-per-view buyrates already suffer, but so long as they think they’re doing great because the ratings remain strong, or improving, then they’ll never change, and you’ll be left with more Black Reign, Scott Steiner, and all this other trash that doesn’t make sense that you insist upon is okay – the trash that you believe we’re nit picking upon.

But I’ll do you all the favor and shut up – because I know a lot of you will write me off as some “smark” who thinks he knows better, and is a bitter “ROHbot” who just hates on TNA because they “stole my precious ROH talents from me,” or whatever other nonsense you can come up with. I know none of you will listen to my words, and continue down this ignorant, masochistic road of “enjoying” this inferior indy product that has a television deal, but at least I vented out what I have a problem with. Shame I can never get this worked up about liking the product, or get a chance to explain to you about the things I DISLIKE about ROH, but seeing as most people are still holding onto this belief that TNA is the greatest thing ever, I feel a need – almost a civic duty – to voice out against it so these people can get that sort of quality out of TNA.

Finding a Happy Place

I think these articles come off better when I’m actually happy about something in the wrestling world, but in the midst of this clouded anger geared towards TNA, I certainly can’t think of anything positive at the moment.

So now I’m going to run off in blind search of a happy place – any happy place will do, so long as it’ll help me get through the remaining 4 pages of this article. Heaven hold mercy upon me for this task.

Orton Not an MVP in My Eyes

A few people seemed to dislike the fact that I didn’t put Orton in my top 20, but there’s a reason I didn’t feel he was an MVP, and that’s the fact that he’s a transitional champion. He’s the guy the company put the strap on because Cena went down to injury, and he’s the guy the WWE never really got behind enough to sell me on the fact he was worth needing a savior [Chris Jericho]. Triple H during the height of the McMahon-Helmsley era was a guy we needed saving from, Orton was just a pompous prick that was doing the typical main event heel trash.

Had he improved enough to be seen more viably in a bigger role? Yeah, but that came more from earlier in 2007 after Rated RKO had finished up their program together, and he seriously hadn’t done anything, as a champion, that was nearly as impressive as what he did building up to his first match with Orton.

Besides, if I did more research into Japan, and Mexico, I’m sure there were a lot more guys more fitting for that list than Orton, that didn’t make it because I’m unaware of them and what they’ve done.

No Way Out of Bad Booking

Over booking should be trademarked by Vince Russo, and Ed Ferrara. It should be copyright infringement whenever a show is overbooked, and Vince Russo isn’t working that show. Gabe Sapolsky owes TNA a good chunk of change for the overbooked nonsense that was the triple threat match between Austin Aries, Roderick Strong and Jack Evans at Manhattan Mayhem II. And now, Vince McMahon owes Russo a new bank account in the Cayman Islands thanks to No Way Out.

I get it: No Way Out usually does poorly in the buyrates because it falls under the misfortunate schedule of being sandwiched between the two biggest events of the wrestling year, and as such, gets no love because it’s viewed as a filler event from the Rumble, to last us a little bit before Mania. I know I’ve thought that giving it a big gimmick would be the only way to sell it, and I’ve talked to a few others about this who seem to be of the same mind when it comes to trying to sell No Way Out. But TWO fucking [Elimination] Chamber matches? Why?

The sad part is, now everyone who predicted Undertaker to win the EC is going to be right, and those who predicted Jeff Hardy, months in advanced when the poster was leaked onto the internet, is going to be sorely saddened by the harsh reality of Triple Conan, and his mighty He-Man like power.

It could be fun, but the part I don’t get is how they plan to squeeze these two, lengthy matches on the same card, and still have a compelling undercard revolving around 3 [World] Championship bouts – and I use the word “world” very loosely.

The time breakdown of a Chamber match is 3, 4 and 5 minute intervals (depending upon the constraints) to open a new pod, so you automatically start off with 12, 16 and 20 minutes to get everyone into the action. I mean, let’s look at the breakdown:
All information gathered from Wikipedia.org

Survivor Series (2002): Rob Van Dam, Booker T, Chris Jericho, Kane, Triple H and Shawn Michaels fought for 39:20 under Elimination Chamber rules.

SummerSlam (2003): Kevin Nash, Shawn Michaels, Randy Orton, Chris Jericho, Goldberg and Triple H fought for 19:12 under Elimination Chamber rules.

New Year’s Revolution (2005): Edge, Chris Benoit, Chris Jericho, Batista, Randy Orton and Triple H fought for 34:55 under Elimination Chamber rules.

New Year’s Revolution (2006): Kurt Angle, Kane, Shawn Michaels, Carlito, Chris Masters and John Cena fought for 28:23 under Elimination Chamber rules.

December to Dismember (2006): CM Punk, Rob Van Dam, Hardcore Holly, Test, The Big Show and Bobby Lashley fought for 24:43 under Extreme Elimination Chamber rules.

With this breakdown, you’re looking at 24, 32 and 40 minutes devoted to the two matches, and that’s not counting entrance times, match hype vignettes, interviews leading into the match(es), and the celebration time after each match. Then you take into account there’s other stuff going on, and this show is looking like the Royal Rumble – a show that is built around one themed match that eats up a lot of time, leaving the undercard rushed, or lacking meaning.

It also doesn’t help that the undercard is predictable. I, personally, don’t think that takes away from the match quality, but for some that does, and for others that always plays a part in the back of their mind when talking about the show in question.

When you hear a TNA fan talking about a WWE show, you always hear the complaint that it’s a predictable card, so it has no meaning or value. And the same is applied in the reverse – WWE fans complaining about TNA shows being predictable. It’s the never ending cycle of bitching, and none of us win.

Chamber Your Thoughts

And sticking to the theme of talking about this show, how about we run some ideas over as to what could happen?

I’m not a big fan of Khali, or Big Daddy V – as a matter of fact, WWE is punishing me by having Vis run around without a shirt, leading me to longer think he’s a passable talent that finally figured out how to work an OK match – but seeing those two in this match makes sense. Seeing Finlay in there doesn’t, but you could always bite that it was Vince trying to buy him off and give him a shot at Mania, or get him killed in the process, so little Horny is all alone in the big, scary world. I don’t know how they’ll play it, seeing as I missed last week’s SmackDown – along with a series of SmackDown’s prior to that, dating back to late October.

Anyway, back to my thoughts here. I also don’t see why MVP is in this match, especially seeing as I don’t recall him winning any matches, as of late, to warrant the belief he deserves a chance to even win a spot at Mania to take on the World Heavyweight Champion, whomever it may be after Edge and Rey Mysterio battle over the huge chunk of gold covered chocolate. So in my mind, MVP is taking up a slot for someone who has the push, and is more deserving of that slot: Mark Henry.

I already hear the cries and moans about him being a talentless hack, but the man has improved from being a hack. He’s now been promoted to a passable talent who has a good grasp of what to do in a match, it’s just his opponents don’t know how to sell a fucking bear hug, leaving him to look like a shmuck. But besides all of that, Mark is a main event threat because of the run he’s been on – teaming up with Big Daddy V, destroying talents left and right, and even getting a mini-rub down from Triple H on Raw during H’s last chance of entry into the Rumble. Why shouldn’t he be in there? For fear that he may ruin this otherwise perfect, and awesome Chamber match that’s just going to play house to the Undertaker/Batista saga?

What I don’t get is how you book MVP to look strong in this at all, unless he gets to survive one of the giants, when he’s in there. Me, personally, I think it would be bad booking to start off with Finlay and MVP, because then you’re going to see nothing but drag in the middle as the big behemoths are going to have to sell being intimidating looking within their little confines.

It also doesn’t help sell these guys as monsters, as they won’t be allowed to break down the pods, like they’ve done in just about every previous Chamber match. Of course Raw calls dibs on the better looking Chamber match, which means they get to have the most fun with the pods. So instead of seeing Vis and Khali throw some of the rag dolls around, and crashing them through the “bullet proof” glass, the only good way I can see them booking this match is having the two lugs start off, get in an early elimination from one of the two, seed in the two smaller guys, and have them finally get rid of the last of the lummoxes, and then seed us Taker and Batista, who can shine in this match just going at one another. Any other way would lead to teases of destruction, and unless they plan on having Raw’s EC toss out the rules and just have everyone scramble for about 30 minutes, it’ll only result in more people hating the match.

About the only true kiss of death that could be laid upon SmackDown, here, is if their match gets to start off the card, just to get it out of the way. As if Raw doesn’t get enough shine as it is?

Jersey All-Pro Wrestling – The Genesis

This Saturday, I’ll be attending my first ever JAPW show. I haven’t looked at the card, I don’t know who’ll be there, I just know that, and this is what crazymike1706 told me, LAX and Murder City Machine Guns will be battling it out.

This’ll be my first time, ever, watching Chris Sabin and Hernandez, live, while my second time seeing Alex Shelley live, and possibly my third time seeing Homicide live, if my math is correct. That alone is a treat for me, especially seeing Shelley again, a man I believe is highly underutilized, and will be the most influential wrestler of this new generation.

What I hope to take away from this experience is the stark contrast between indy shows – ROH’s presentation and showcase versus what JAPW has to offer. It should be fun, and I hope that at the end of the night, I don’t have to hear from Teddy Hart – he’s a piss break the whole way through.

Playing Catch-up

Sometimes I wish I knew how to manage my time better. I know, how ironic that I feel it in my interest to voice out that TNA, and ROH need to better learn how to manage their own time tables, while I can’t figure out a time table for myself.

I mainly point this out because, after starting to read over Matt Short’s The Navigation Log 2.10.08: Japanese Gimmick Palooza, it hit me that I have way too many DVD’s to catch up, along with some other things to get to watching (like what’s still sitting on my DVR that isn’t named “Monk,” “Psych,” or “Squidbillies”).

I really don’t fall into the category of a real wrestling fan, despite my cries for this community to open up to more wrestling outside of the media wrestling products, and the “big” third promotion in ROH. I have 4 PWG DVD’s that are sitting in my book, ready for viewing, a 2005 collection of TNA pay-per-views to sit through, some Japan stuff I’ve yet to witness, some tapes I’ve got to convert to DVD – it’s probably easier to think of the stuff I have caught up with.

I bring this up not only to fill up space and meet my quota for this shit-slosh of an article that Csonka still manages to allow to see the light of day on this otherwise fabulous site, but because it really gets me thinking as to who, actually, fits my own definition of a true wrestling fan.

It’s a superficial definition I came up with, and one that seems to be too unrealistic. I don’t know, maybe you can be the judge and decide for yourself:
Wrestling Fan:
~ noun

• A fan of the wrestling arts who is open minded to any wrestling product regardless of promotion, style or productions.

I’m open minded to it all, but I haven’t seen any of it yet – so my money is there for these companies to take part in, but I’m certainly not a return customer as I’ve yet to really see if I’m willing to become such a thing.

Maybe I am a fan by that very definition, regardless of whether I’m a return customer or not, but hell if I can figure it out. All I know is, my head isn’t on straight these days, and the last thing I want to do is sit in on a good DVD and completely shit on it just because I’m not in the best of moods to deal with something that I don’t think is going to entertain me the way ROH has, in the past and continues to do as such.

Undeniably Final Thoughts – The Wrap Up

And this brings me to Undeniable, a pay-per-view I’ve only bashed in private, and I hope J.D. Dunn sees this, though I know he’s too smart to be reading my trashy novel-like articles that I’m probably pulling out of a baboons ass at the moment.

Undeniable was a skippable event. It was the typical ROH show that had its moments, but was underwhelming and, if it were simply a DVD on the ROH website, would be something you could easily afford to miss in order to pick up a better show. I’ve said the same thing of Respect is Earned, and Manhattan Mayhem II, both shows I was in attendance for, live, and felt didn’t really offer me up anything along the lines of fun, and drama that I’ve seen in previous events I was in attendance for (Steel Cage Warfare, Best in the World, Final Battle 2006, Fifth Year Festival: New York).

The same would almost apply to Rising Above [the next ROH pay-per-view to air this March], except that actually had enough on there to brag about as an overall show – the only problem with it was the disorder of the card, leaving the fans completely drained by night’s end.

I think several people overrated Manhattan Mayhem II, but then again, everyone is entitled to their opinions, something we all lose sight of when we start taking into account differing views of the same show. I also feel Undeniable catches too much flak from some who hate upon ROH just because it doesn’t have a television deal.

I’ll say this about Undeniable – it was necessary. Not for the context of the storylines, but rather, because it helped to dispel this nonsense rumor floating about that ROH only produces ***** matches at every show. It was necessary to show that ROH is just like any other company and had its own flaws.

I’ve never claimed it to be perfect – Dunn certainly wouldn’t go that far to state such a thing, nor would anyone else I know who is a ROH fan, much like TSlay1974. ROH is what it is, a indy promotion on the brink of being something bigger and more revolutionary to the American wrestling fans, but nothing as multi-cultured as ECW was during its hay-day.