411’s Countdown to WrestleMania 24: The WrestleMania Experience – WrestleMania 23

………….no, I’m serious. He regularly asks me to pass it on to you, as if you and I were girlfriends who text each other every day. “AGAIN, TELL HIM I AM SO SORRY ABOUT THAT WATER BOTTLE”. …like a nagging wife.

So, the WrestleMania Experience. Well for me, it was more like “The WrestleMania Week that happened to include WrestleMania” Experience. Trips to airports and hotels, Hall of Fame, WM, RAW, SD, dinners with bosses, four hour drives; all a check. I shall try to take you through as best I can without utterly boring you. Perhaps I should stop the blathering chit-chat and get on with it, yes?

It is often said that there is nothing like attending a live event. So by that note, there is nothing like attending THE event, right? Throw in a HOF session and a few other shows, and we could have ourselves a grand ol’ time.

There’s really nothing exciting to note from the Thursday and Friday preceding WrestleMania. Getting everyone in, fed, and settled was basically the common theme of those two days, so I will spare you the details on what type of suitcase everyone had and how many pillows they got in their hotel rooms. Saturday was a different story, however. Since the NZ crew was staying in downtown Detroit, a couple of them were able to go participate in some of the WM Axxess stuff. I was unable to go, but I did get to see a DVD they were able to shoot in which they were calling a SmackDown! match, so that seemed like good times. Eventually though we were all together, and after several wrong turns and a half hour of driving like a 2 mile distance, we arrived at the Hall of Fame venue. Now, this years show might be under the warm Florida sun, but last year was in D-town, and it was still pretty chilly at the end of March, so the wait in line sucked a bit but hey, that’s only a minor beef, certainly nothing worthy of ruining an evening.

Now, I’m not going to get completely in depth with you on the show itself, as the Hidden Highlights crew did that for you already with our live report last year (feel free to refresh your memory), but there were a couple of things I wanted to touch on to try and at least share some the evening / feelings with you.

Firstly, while we joked about it last year, the fact is that our seats absolutely sucked. I mean, they were BAD. We were so far up you could literally turn and sneeze and you’d likely get snot on the back wall of the building. As if that wasn’t enough, the big Hall of Fame sign that WWE had in place was positioned just perfectly to obstruct our view of the big screen. WWE: 2 – JT/JP: 0. Also, I smoke, and there was only one designated space of about 6 X 10 ft. This generous portion of space was also accessible from only one set of doors, located on the bottom floor. So every time I needed a puff, it was down and then back up about six flights of steps. …sometimes being a smoker sucks. In retrospect, it’s easy to laugh it off now, but at the time it really seemed like our seats couldn’t have been any worse.

…..the NZ crew on the other hand was sitting on the floor, not far behind the wrestlers, with an awesome view of the entire stage. That’s what happens when the WWE actually likes your website, something I know nothing about!

I was also planning on going on another rant in regards to how the crowd was utter shit – especially to William Shatner – but I think we covered that enough last year so I will simply leave it as: “If you were one of those idiots in the crowd last year, you are an asshole. Go away. Love, JT”. Seriously, who no sells God?

Overall though I had a great time and I think we really lucked out with the class and the inductors, because we had a lot of good talkers. Heenen, RVD, Magnificent Muraco, Stone Cold, Shatner, King, Dusty Rhones, even Wade Boggs was enjoyable. But let me tell you one thing, I could sit and listen to Good Ol’ JR talk about the wrestling business for hours on in. This is my exert on him from last year:

J.R. then hit the stage to naturally a standing ovation and Thank You J.R. chants. Then, he talked… and talked… and talked… but the funny thing was, you had no idea of the concept of time. It was easily well over a half hour but you’d never have known it sitting there listening to him. This shouldn’t be surprising for a man who’s made a living doing nothing but talk for the last 33 years. It really was great listening to him. He talked about his journey through the world of wrestling, and told a couple of really great stories (one of which I won’t even attempt to tell you because it would do no justice [trust me, buy the DVD], but let’s just say it ended with him in a car [he was a driver at the time] with a loaded pistol on the dash, a grumpy drunk man in the backseat, and an assassination plot on the the Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase. No – I’m not joking). He then talked about his appreciation for everything he has done and all the people he has known, and eventually wrapped up saying that he was honored to be the first “true wrestling fan” (i.e. he has been since youth and always will be nothing more than a big fan with the luckiest job on the planet) being inducted into the HOF. Really good stuff. I could have listen to him go on for hours.

Even reading it now I don’t think I did it justice, it really is something you have to see for yourself. Eventually the evening came to an end though, and they were handing out these very nice Hall of Fame commemorative coins to people on the way out, so bonus! At this point, everyone headed to their respective places of sleep as we awaited the big day at Ford Field.

Finally the big day had arrived. All the planning and spending and tickets and plane rides and drives and reservations and EVERYTHING involved, and we were finally here. JP’s SWANK ASS JUNIOR EXECUTIVE SUITE at the Marriott was the closest to the venue, so that was the starting point. I should also mention that this saved us ALL money because originally we were planning on spending a half grand on a limo, but at the end of the day, for 10 blocks or so? No way in Hell. Anyway, we all meet up at JP’s suite, and for me, the party officially “begins”. Once the first beer has been cracked, the event has begun! It wasn’t quite time to leave yet, so Dion and Iain wanted to get some footage of Duane, then myself/JP cutting a promo hyping one of the more popular New Zealand wrestlers. Now, WE NAILED THESE, and they were *supposed* to air on TV, but THE MAN in NZ decided not to use our footage, essentially holding the glass ceiling above our head, ruining our future career as people who cut promos hyping popular New Zealand wrestlers (what? It could happen!). The sad part of this is that the camera and film were property of the television station that produces the programming, so I can’t even get a copy. BOOOOOOOOO THE MAN.

Enough about me. It was time. Me, JP, Kirsty, Dion, Iain and Duane were going to WrestleMania 23.

The weather was much nicer, so the walk was actually pretty enjoyable. Dealing with 100,000 people standing outside a venue is always a chore, but it could have been much, much worse. We had an ace up our sleeve though. You see, we all had passes to the VIP Pre-Party hosted in some swank club type environment hidden deep within Ford Field that I wasn’t even aware existed. One of the benefits of having said passes is that we got to enter at a specific gate which was not open to the public. BONUS. So in reality, we only had about twelve people ahead of us in line. It was merely just a matter of getting THROUGH the 100,000 people as this gate was located on the opposite side of the arena than we had arrived at; a minor inconvenience at best.

So we were in and the first thing we did was check our seats before heading to the pre-party. Now, if our HOF tickets sucked, these seats were the exact opposite. Lower level, last row, 40 yard line, perfect view of the ring, the ramp, and the massive 90 ft. titan-trons located on opposite sides of the place. For those wondering, we requested the last row because not one of us was an inch over 5’10, and this would allow us to not only stand if we needed, but also stand on our seats without worrying about obstructing the view of anyone behind us; it also allowed us (if we so chose) to simply climb over the back rail if we needed something, as opposed to being the asshole that disturbs the entire row every twenty minutes when I need a beer. BONUS. That wasn’t the only bonus though. We were located directly in front of one of the two designated smoking areas. Basically, when myself and Duane needed a smoke, walk twenty feet, and BAM. My goodness this came in SO handy so kudos to Chris @ Ticketmaster for coming through with those.

After we had located our seats, it was off to the pre-party. However, realizing that there were only about two thousand people in the venue, I figured this was the best time to purchase the big gold belt. Again, no line. I was loving life. So we make our way to this elevator that takes us up to the aforementioned hidden compartment club and I have to admit, I was not prepared for what we were walking into. When they said “VIP” pre-party, they were NOT JOKING. A small banquet hall is the best way to describe it, with hors d’oeurves that ranged everything from donuts to sushi to shishkabob to shrimp. I think caviar was the only thing NOT offered. There was a bar as well, and the best part of all of this is that everything is FREE; so as you can imagine, I immediately took advantage of the fact that beer was – in fact – not $8 dollars a pop in this place. “Thank you bartender, make it two!”. 95% of the people attending were in business suits, dresses, business casual, etc, and apparently these were pretty important people (I had a brief discussion with the President of WWE Canada to give you an indication of the suits in this room). Granted they couldn’t all be THAT important (I mean Hell, we were there), but you get the idea. There was also quite a luxurious smoking room decked out with another bar, and nothing but leather couches and chairs around elegant wooden tables. Basically kids, we were starting things off in style (we weren’t even allowed to tip the bartenders! We were literally told “we can’t take that, it’s been covered”).

I will pause briefly to give you a pretty funny visual. Here is this swank pre-party with all these important people dressed in thousand dollar suits rubbing elbows with the brass of WWE, and here I stand in the middle of it, jeans and WM shirt, big gold belt slung over my shoulder. Quite a sight indeed! Nobody seemed to mind though, and everyone I interacted with was very nice and very pleasant.

We hung out at the pre-party for probably about an hour. I think I managed to get in about six beers; that’s just a little fyi to keep you updated. It was getting close to show time though so it was time to go. Me being the cheap bastard I am, inquired and was again surprised when I was told I was more than welcome to take two free beers with me! JP doesn’t drink, but he was kind enough to “escort” a third for me. Pre-party, free beer to get ready for the show, and 3 free beers to start. Yes, this was shaping up to be quite the evening, and we had yet to see a match!

You know, I have to tell you that being there really was something to see. You almost take for granted that you’re at the biggest show of the year, but then once the crowd has filled in, and you standing there, looking at 100,000 people packed into Ford Field, and you see the stage and ramps and ring, it really is hard not to be in awe – even if for only a minute. But enough sentimentality, the show was starting.

We actually had a dark match. Lumberjack match – Carlito and Ric Flair vs. Chavo and Gregory Helms. Nothing too exciting but it’s always cool to see Flair. Now the show was really starting.

LOUD PYROS. I swear I could go to a thousand shows and still not be used to the loudness of WWE pyros. The Money In The Bank match was fun, Kane/Khali was bearable (hey, it’s WM, certain things get a pass), and we also enjoyed the Benoit vs. MVP match. You know, I’ll be honest with you, I haven’t given much thought to Benoit since what happened, happened, but remembering this event makes me realize that I saw him four times in the last two years of his life. Win or lose, the man always got an ovation (usually standing) and while I’m not sure how I feel about Chris Benoit the man, I suppose that says something about Chris Benoit the wrestler. This column is not for that though, so I will simply say that it was a good match and we saw glimpses of what MVP can eventual become (or is becoming, depending on who you ask).

Finally, it was Taker time. Now, I was especially pumped for this because I had seen The Undertaker two times in my life. The first, he didn’t have the entrance yet (this was like in 90 or 91), and the second time, no entrance because he simply busted out of a coffin and cleared the ring (Survivor Series). Well let me assure you that his entrance is everything everyone says it is; you do really have to be there to experience it. Granted, with the druids and fire and all that it took a little longer than usual but hey, this is WrestleMania, I can live with it. Match was really good and the place went bananas when Taker took his Superman leap out of the ring. Match ends, and as Taker is making his way to the back, I begin to notice that people around me are looking up, behind me. So we investigate the situation and as it turns out, standing about four feet from us is Tommy Dreamer, preparing to make his entrance down the steps for the New Breed vs. Originals match. He wasn’t there long, but long enough to hop the rail and snap a quick picture of him. How he was able to even get into that position without being spotted and attracting a huge crowd I’ll never know, but it only benefitted me and my ease in getting the picture.

Just a reminder, I am drinking beer. That is all.

The ECW match was pretty quick, and the Trump/McMahon match was okay, but I think everyone was really waiting for Vince to lose his hair and Stone Cold to start stunning anyone within three feet of him. Next up was the Diva match, but it wasn’t a complete waste. During this match, myself and JP began talking to these three women directly in front of us. They were from out of town and were bummed the show was almost over because it meant they had to get back to their shitty Red Roof Inn that utterly sucked with nothing to do. Well, naturally we couldn’t allow for such travesty! So we invited them to join the six of us back at JP’s suite for a bit of hangin’ out and what have you.

The main event was awesome, but I have to admit on a personal level that I really was hoping Shawn would win. I felt it was his last real shot to hold the title, but I understand why they did what they did. Either way both men entertained, and overall I had a great time at the show.

So now, the 9 of us head back to JP’s suite and just kind of chill. We talk about the show, about wrestling, about other shit, as I said just kind of chilling out. Now I’ve probably been drinking since about 3 p.m., but despite how it may have seemed, I was able to pace myself to the point where I was still fully functional, or at least nobody was saying otherwise. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t sober, but I wasn’t sloshed either. I think the best way to describe it is that I was at that “super friendly yet completely manageable” stage. According to Kirsty, “I was anyone’s (for the taking)” but also according to Duane, I was fine for someone who had been drinking all day and just attended the biggest wrestling show of the year. But as it turns out, the night wasn’t quite done. Sometime I believe around 1 or 2 a.m., the ladies say that they would like to have a few, but just aren’t the biggest fan of our selection. Now, rather than sending three tourists out on the streets of Detroit in the wee hours, myself and Duane decide to take a walk and get some air (he knew a place a couple of blocks away that was still open, and I will also say no way do I make this trip if there weren’t still 30,000 people still out and about on the streets).

Of we go to retrieve some booze, down the elevator, I take about six steps out of the elevator………….

And………………….

I’m 10 feet from the door and through those doors walks one Mr. Mean Gene Okerland. Now, the distance between us is not really conducive to avoiding each other so a meeting of some kind is practically inevitable. So we both stop, facing each other, maybe a foot and a half between us. I am thinking of shaking his hand, and he can see that I am thinking of shaking his hand. I look to his right hand first, and it is occupied with a suitcase. I look to his left hand, and it is occupied with a suit. We then again make eye contact for about a second and a half like “hmmm… doesn’t look like this is gonna work out”…. NO SIR MEAN GENE IT WILL WORK OUT! So I step up, throw my left arm under his right, my right arm over his left shoulder, and give him a couple of “how ya doin” pats on the back. He laughs and I say something like “big fan, enjoyed the show”, and we both move on, leaving not only Duane but his couple of bodyguards (yes, he had bodyguards) in complete hysterics. Fuck it. That shit rocked and I was my own new hero. Call it a total wrestling mark thing to do, but I bet you money if you ask him about it, he’d remember it. Probably couldn’t pick me out of a lineup, but he remembers SOMEONE just HAD to show him some love as he entered his hotel at 2 a.m. last year!

Anywho, we get back and continue the gathering. Eventually it gets late, and the ladies are leaving because one of the girls’ boyfriend was throwing a hissy because she was in another state in a hotel room with guys.

With that, it was late and so the NZ also had to go, as the next day Dion was off to New York (don’t know if they ever called, but if they did George mucho thanks for any help you were able to give them) and the rest was back to the West Coast to catch the flight back to NZ. We escorted everyone downstairs, said our goodbyes and that was that (also a thanks to Duane who dropped off the NZ people at their hotel on his way out of town). You know, I was a little bummed over this. There were so many flights and drives and events and things of that nature to get through over those three days, it seemed to really go so fast and almost never really a time to just enjoy the company.

To the NZ crew, I thank them for everything. I hope I showed them a hospitable and fun time, I really enjoyed meeting them, and I in no way blame them for THE MAN! keeping me from my NZ television fame destiny! Also, thanks for the shirt and flag. Nothing is set in stone yet, but if the opportunity arises to meet up with you all again for WrestleMania 25, I cannot wait. I will also say to Sasha and Jake that it was truly a pleasure; we didn’t get to spend much time together but my parents adored you (do not believe a single word they told you as it pertains to me; those stories are all lies).

And now that the Kleenex is put away, we still have two days to go!

I would say I woke up somewhere between noon and 1 p.m. on Monday, with JP wide awake. The conversation went something like this:

JT: Hey. How long have you been up?

JP: Oh, since about 10 or so. I went and had breakfast, did this and did that.

The funny part here is that I was sleeping on a pull out bed literally five feet from the door, meaning JP had to come within inches of me several times and I was zombied out. That should give you an idea of how my night went! That’s indifferent though, as we had a four hour drive ahead of us, so off we went. About the only thing I’ll say about the drive is that I thought Michigan highways were bad in construction zones, that is until we hit construction zones in Ohio. YEESH. I mean, can they not give us an extra six inches here or there? I digress from my soapbox though. We get to RAW with plenty of time, and JP is even nice enough to extend me the courtesy of hanging out in the parking lot for a few so I can put a couple down before I have to throw thirty bucks at someone every time I want a beer. During this time, we happen to notice that about three cars away from us is a van, and two people are sitting in this van. Just sitting there. We make nothing of it but time rolls on and now they’re literally just sitting there not doing a damn thing. They eventually make their way out of the van and B-Line for us, inquiring about why we’re just standing there resulting in me offering beer. If I had to guess, they were getting blitzed. More power to them. The line wasn’t too bad and the only thing noteworthy is that I forgot the big gold belt and so I had to cross the entire parking lot while JP is in line to grab it. Jogging is fun.

We get into the place and as we search out our seats, I naturally make myself aware of who serves beer and who doesn’t, and also where to go to smoke. For the record, the walk to smoke isn’t nearly as generous as it was at WM, but not nearly as burdensome as it was at the HOF. We find our seats, and discover that they are NICE. We are sitting in direct view of the ring and titan-tron. Very limited floor seats because of the arena size and the fact JR and King are right in front of us, so I’d say we were maybe 10 rows up? If I had to guess, I’d say 25 – 30 feet from the announce table, and no more than 40 feet from the ring (seriously, we were CLOSE).

There’s really only one thing to mention about RAW that just kicked ultimate ass. To open the show, Shawn Michaels and Cena are out and HBK gives in my opinion one of the greatest promos of the year, followed by the awesomeness that is Coach coming out and saying OH NO YOU ARE TAG CHAMPS THERE WILL NOW BE A 10 TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL! Obviously, we’re thinking greatness. It ends, Cena/Shawn retain, and we’re thinking “that was nice”…. BUT WAIT, OUT COMES COACH BECAUSE THERE IS PART 2, ANOTHER 10 TAG TEAM BATTLE ROYAL! Seriously, being there live it was just awesome to get that – especially the night after WrestleMania.

Also, I’ll mention that we had two kids right in front of us that were just perfect fans. Couldn’t have been any more than 8 and they interacted with us a couple of times but were mostly into the show, and you could tell that “it was real to them”…. No idea what kayfabe was. They had such a great time and it reminded me of my first wrestling venture when I was like 10-ish. Was just fun to not only see the show, but watch them enjoy it as well.

After the show, I interacted with quite a few people. JP will describe it as “you spent entirely too much time letting kids have their picture taken with your belt”. I will describe it as “one wrestling fan helping kids have their picture taken with my belt by their parents who won’t buy them one”. Nothing wrong with giving back to the kids!

Eventually, we made it to the car, and as much as I wanted to just crash from the previous four days, I vowed to stay awake and keep JP company as we made the trek home arriving I believe around 4 a.m. At this point, I am so EXHAUSTED from the entire thing, but I know it isn’t done, so I head to bed.

The next day, JP had to hop in the rental and head for the airport, so I got up for that. To JP, I will say I had a great time man, and I can’t wait for 19 days for now.

Despite my complete drainage, my journey wasn’t done. This won’t take long though, as I plan to put about as much energy into explaining it as I felt at the time. Duane picked me up and drove me to Indiana. We had dinner with our boss (his primary office is about 8 miles from the arena), went and watched SmackDown!, and left halfway through the live ECW show. I was done, kids. In fact, I was so done that I was actually experiencing vertigo at the tapings being up in the club level of the second section. VERTIGO PEOPLE. I managed to stay awake for the whole ride home, and when I got there, I CRASHED. That is my WrestleMania Experience. By the end of it, I was drained beyond all reason. I had just spent six days picking people up from airports, driving to hotels, attending events, and all the while drinking beer. It was brutal, and I had nothing left…

…and I loved every minute of it. As a wrestling fan it went exactly how it should have for me, and I can’t wait to do it all again in three weeks. Fortunately for me this time, I’m not hosting shit and I get four days off to recuperate afterwards, luxuries not granted to me last year…

…see you all in 17 days…