The Wrestling (Hub)Bard 4.12.08: David vs. Goliath…or Goliath vs. David?

David and Goliath

I think most people are at least somewhat familiar with the story of David and Goliath. According to the Bible, David was a young man who had the courage to fight for his nation against the mighty Goliath, a man who stood eight feet tall and had never been defeated in combat. He faced impossible odds, but his faith allowed him to overcome his fears, and in the end, David, the ultimate underdog, was able to slay the giant and save what would one day be his kingdom. And then he cut off his head for good measure! Isn’t the Bible fun, kids?

This story is easy to relate to. I don’t think it would be out of line for me to say that almost every human being has faced a seemingly insurmountable challenge. Most of us have been the underdog or been put in a situation where there seems to be no hope. In these situations, we relate to David and hope that we will share in his success and slay our giants as well.

David and Goliath are archetype characters. David is the underdog who fights for good and overcomes the odds. Goliath is the unstoppable evil monster. It is no surprise that these archetypes have made their presence known in the modern day morality play we call professional wrestling.

Professional Wrestling Goliaths and Davids

Pro wrestling is a world of superheroes. Promoters have long relied on “superhuman” athletes to draw big gates. These athletes either are physically large or have a heart to make up for the lack of size. Fans live vicariously through the underdogs and make them their heroes. They stand in awe of large than life monsters. It’s a proven way to make money.

Goliath-like characters are some of the best-known names in the business. Andre the Giant and Big Show are the most obvious, but other wrestlers such as King Kong Bundy, Yokozuna, Vader, Kane, Abyss, Umaga, Takeshi Morishima and Amazing Kong are all examples of successful monster heels. They have been built up as nearly impossible to beat and maintain that aura with the fans that makes them permanent threats.

And there are of course many David like characters in wrestling. The best of them is probably Rey Mysterio. But guys like Shawn Michaels, Bret Hart, Eddie Guerrero, Chris Benoit, and The Hardy Boyz all fit that description. There are great underdogs that the fans love to get behind.

But what happens when these men are heels?

So What About When David Has An Ego Bigger Than Goliath?

You’ve probably noticed that several of the David characters I mentioned have had extended heel runs. Shawn Michaels, Eddie Guerrero, and Matt Hardy in particular where HATED heels. Through a combination of arrogance, cockiness, and cowardice, these smaller wrestlers manage to earn our disdain.

This is another archetype character. The arrogant coward heel. This is the type of villain that we want to see beaten within an inch of his life. We want to see them suffer. They are the opposite of David characters. They lack humility, and we want to see them humbled. We want someone to beat them to a pulp. Look no further than Wrestlemania XXIV to see this concept in action. Floyd Mayweather and The Big Show, Kane versus Chavo Guerrero and Undertaker-Edge were all examples of this match type.

But who feuds with an evil David? Certainly not a Goliath, as a Goliath character by nature is evil. Is there another type of big man character? A counter to Goliath?

Enter Samson

According to the Bible, Samson is the strongest man who ever lived. He could have used his incredible strength to get whatever he wanted, but he didn’t abuse his power. Rather than abuse his power for evil, he used his power to uphold good. He was a hero, the ultimate hero, and the one who could not be defeated and lived by a code of morals

Much like wrestlers whose size would naturally make them baby faces, there are also big men that are able to be baby faces. We call these men juggernauts. Juggernauts are the executioners of justice. They could be described as “sheriffs”, upholders and enforcers of the law. It is their job to punish those that commit evil.

There have been many successful juggernauts in pro wrestling. Hulk Hogan is probably the most well known. Many of the Goliaths I mentioned are great juggernauts when they are baby faces. Kane, Big Show, and Abyss have all done well as juggernaut characters. Samoa Joe is a man who evolved from Goliath to Samson in his time in TNA. But in my opinion, there is only one man who can claim to epitomize what the juggernaut/Samson character is.

The Undertaker.

“Many Dragons Have Tried to Lay Siege to My Kingdom…All Have Fallen”

The Undertaker has been describe as “The Conscience of the WWE”. That name is appropriate. Although there have been times when the Deadman has played villain, be it a Satanic cult leader or a biker with a bad attitude, the role we know and love best is that of the guardian. Despite his appearance, The Phenom’s role in the WWE is that of a guardian angel. He watches over and protects the values of good. He stands for what is right and fights to protect it. He slays the dragons and punishes the wicked. And he is nearly invulnerable.

Obviously, I’m talking in kayfabe, talking more about the Undertaker character than the man who portrays him. But do you wonder why such a dark character has a teddy bear? Because little kids know that the monsters under the bed don’t stand a chance. Taker will watch and protect them. Don’t we all wish we could be like that?

“Hell in a Cell…This Ain’t No Cage Match”

In my last column, one of the more popular features was the match review of Ric Flair and Ricky Steamboat. Since that was so highly praised, I am going to review another match, one that fits into my theme of “Juggernaut Babyface punishes Arrogant Heel”. And it features the character I just extolled.

Hell in a Cell Match: The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels, In Your House: Badd Blood, October 5, 1997

Here’s some background as to how this match was set up. The Undertaker was WWE Champion at that year’s Summer Slam, and defended it against Bret Hart, and Shawn Michaels was the guest referee. In the match, Bret provoked Shawn into using a chair, but moved out of the way and HBK accidentally nailed Undertaker and cost him the match and the championship. Rather than be apologetic, Shawn used the momentum to make a heel turn. He would align with Hunter Hearst Helmsley and form D-Generation X. Taker would try to get his title back from Bret and try to get revenge on Michaels, all the while dealing with his old manager Paul Bearer, who threatened him with a figure from his past.

HBK is NOT happy about this cage door being locked. The first few moments of this match are Taker stalking HBK around the ring until he hits a big boot. Shawn channels Curt Hennig as Taker punishes him slowly. HBK avoids an early chokeslam and tries to punch his way into an advantage but Taker sends him into the corner for the flip and hits a clothesline for 2. Taker works the arm and hits Old School. His pace is very deliberate, as he’s trying to prolong Shawn’s suffering. The Phenom hits a scoop slam and a leg drop for another 2 count. Taker hits a back body drop and HBK’s feet graze the cage in a cool visual. Taker pummels HBK and tosses him to the floor in a huge bump for Shawn.

HBK tries to climb the cell to get away but Taker pulls him to the floor in another scary bump. He whips Shawn into the cell walls a few times to inflict more damage. Taker lifts HBK and rams him into the cell from a powerbomb position. HBK has gotten a few punches in but the Deadman is in complete control. The Phenom lifts Shawn in a bear hug and rams him into the cell and the ring post, which gets a big pop. HBK avoids a battering ram but eats a clothesline. He just can’t get a break. Taker continues to take his time inflicting pain. Shawn almost gets a break when he avoids a charge and Taker goes into the cage.

HBK beats the Deadman down on the floor but eats a stun gun, which he sells awesomely. Shawn manages to knock Taker off the ring apron and into cage, and he follows with a tope suicida that sends the Phenom into the cage. He climbs the cell wall to hit a big elbow drop. HBK has to use highflying offense to get any sustained advantage. He grabs the ring steps and attacks Taker with them. He’s a dirty rotten cheater but he’s smart. Shawn hits a PILEDRIVER ON THE STEEL STEPS! He curses at the cameraman for getting in the way, which is unusual giving how he has changed since then. HBK keeps working over Taker.

Once they get back inside the ring, Shawn goes and grabs a steel chair, which what started the feud in the first place. He drills Taker’s back a few times with the chair but only gets 2. They trade punches and Shawn ties his arms up into the ropes. He pummels the Deadman but eats a big boot and a back body drop that sends him flying into the cameraman. HBK gets angry and batters the cameraman. It may seem random but it’s a brilliant set-up for the rest of the match. People call for help for the cameraman. Back inside the ring, HBK hits a flying forearm with a knip up, and hits the flying elbow drop. HBK tunes up the band as Commissioner Sgt. Slaughter OPENS the door to get the cameraman out, SWEET CHIN MUSIC!

NO SOLD! All Japan Style in the WWE! HBK bolts out the door and the Deadman follows. Shawn hits a dropkick but when he tries another one Taker counters with a catapult that cuts HBK open. The Phenom pummels him and hits the battering ram he was looking for, and twice. Shawn gets tired of that and hits a low blow. He climb up the cage to escape Taker’s wrath and Taker follows. They are now on TOP of the Cell, and the crowd is going BANANA!

Up top Taker hits a back body drop on the cell roof and grates HBK’s face against the cell. He hits a gorilla press slam on the roof and decks Michaels. Shawn decides he’s had enough and tries to go down, but the Phenom stops him and steps on his feet, AND HBK FALLS OFF THE CELL AND THROUGH THE SPANISH ANNOUNCE TABLE! That was a HUGE bump. I love this match. The Deadman follows and tosses Shawn all over the announce tables and they head back into the ring. Earl Hebner locks the cell and now HBK is SCREWED!

Taker hits a clothesline and sets HBK up top, SUPER CHOKESLAM! Egads, this match is awesome. And now poetic justice kicks in…Taker goes out and grabs a steel chair. He then KILLS Michaels with one of the most brutal chair shots I’ve ever seen. He does his cutthroat taunt but the lights go out…AND KANE DEBUTS! He walks to the Cell and tears down the door and tosses Hebner aside. The Phenom just stares at Kane with fear. Kane does his pyro motion and hits the TOMBSTONE PILEDRIVER! In a nice touch, that’s the only big move that Taker hadn’t done in the match. Bearer pours water on Hebner. Shawn crawls and puts one arm over the Deadman, and he gets the 3 count at 29:55!

My Match Analysis: I love almost everything about this match. The whole thing builds and builds on the violence level and tells a compelling story. Both men worked hard to have a great match. Taker showcased his offense and HBK sold brilliantly for him. I liked how the go from wrestling to brawling to hardcore in the cage, only to go ONTO the Cell roof and then OFF the cell roof. This is Undertaker’s best match and probably Michaels’ best heelwork. The highest compliment I can give this match is that I HATE screw job finishes, and this still gets the full score. *****

Salutations and Goodbye

I would love to say something clever here, but I am DEAD tired. Please give me any feedback you feel like giving, good or bad. After all, it doesn’t matter if it’s good news or bad news, as long as they get your name right.