Evolution Schematic 06.28.08: Mark ‘The Undertaker’ Calaway (Part 1)

I have Super Smash Bros Brawl. I have a campaign to plan (The Fink for 411HOF 09!). I have an Indy Draft Card to write up. I have Robot Chicken Season 2 to watch, among other DVD’s. I’m recovering from my brief foray into opinion pieces from last week. I should just skip this week and make up for it next week.

But then, what sort of columnist would I be?

*waits for everyone to say “Your kind” or words to that effect.*

All right then. Still, this is one of the rare ES topics that requires a lot of thought, right off the bat, as opposed to statistics and card recaps. The Undertaker is such a messy character to begin with, add in his past lives and such, it makes it hard. Especially when you remember the goal of my column and thus how shoot-kayfabe twisty it can get.

But not impossible.

*cracks knuckles*

Overview

Marc Calaway (That’s his name, it’s been on TV, so don’t bitch about it) is pretty lucky, overall. For a man whose had a lot of problems in his life, and considering how badly his brother turned out, he’s remarkably sane. For nearly 18 years, he has been a cornerstone of the WWE, and now he must face his life without the WWE. But he’s been there before. For he has wrestled in companies before he got to the WWF as it was then, and while the mind games he used so effectively in the past might not work as well, one simple fact will ensure he succeeded wherever he wrestles.

For all the hype, all the chaos, all the darkness, the smoke, the fire, the ashes, the history, when you get right down to it, Mark is a very, very good wrestler with a high threshold for pain. He can dish out lots of punishment and take even more. That’s why he’s been on top for so long, not dry ice and electrical conduction. No tricks, no games, even if you look past all that, he’s still a great wrestler, he doesn’t need the special effects.

Although they help.

But before we get to The Undertaker, we need to go back to the Undertakers, we need to start way back when, when Mark and Kane were just kids…

Origins- Hey, at least it’s not in 10 parts like Kane’s.

Mark Calaway-

Ok, to head off potential bitching- I cannot claim for sure that this was his birth name. Kane we know had a first name of Kane since that’s what he’s been called by Paul Bearer and Undertaker. We’ve never actually been told that Mark was born with that name, and thus Kane’s name is Kane Calaway. He might have been called Mark Andrews or George Vance or JT Robinson or Under Taker, although some of those are more likely than others.

Who’d name their kid JT?

Regardless, that’s the name he’s called now, so I’m using it in lieu of any other information that’s valid (i.e. is from a wrestling company he was working for at the time). Thank you.

As I was saying, Mark was born to fairly loving, normal parents who just happened to run a funeral home as their job, in the rather fitting region of Death Valley. Hey, someone’s got to. They lived either right next door or had a combined place of business and home (which is slightly creepy but somewhat understandable, a coroner needs to be on call all the time), and thus as Mark grew up, and welcomed his brother (or at least the boy he thought was his brother) Kane into their family, he had a normal, if slightly odd upbringing.

Then came May 19th.

On that day, a fire broke out in the Home, and Mark and Kane’s parents were killed.

Now then, the question of who started the fire (both Brothers have claimed they did it) is not really that much of an issue with Mark. While he might very well blame himself for causing it, certainly Kane did, he wasn’t completely fractured by it. If Mark didn’t do it, and Kane did, he still felt guilty for not stopping Kane from playing with fire near all those chemicals used in embalming and other such tasks.

Enter Paul Bearer.

An on again off again assistant for the Cal… family business, Paul was back from one of his stints in the Air Force and/or tours with small time wrestling companies, rushed to the fire as soon as he heard. And he got there as people tried to comfort both kids, although since one had burns on his body, they kept them apart from each other.

And in a few seconds, Paul thought up a life long scheme to make millions.

As a family friend, Paul took legal responsibility for both children. Since Mark, despite some attempts by Paul to shock him and the naturally grief process, was fairly normal, Paul arranged for him to be raised by a normal, sane family in Houston, Texas. This may be where Mark Calaway got his name, if he took the name from his adopted family. Again, without more information it’s hard to say. But for the sake of simplicity, we’ll just say that was his name at this point of his life and move on.

While Kane was shunted from home to home, facility to facility, Mark had a normal adolescence, playing basketball and high school wrestling. No doubt Paul encouraged this when he visited, Paul pushing for Mark to become a wrestler and thus make him a fortune both as a client and then as an enemy.

Eventually Paul got his wish, and Mark began to train for his pro debut. After rigorous training in the greater Texas area, Mark Calaway debuted onto the Pro Wrestling stage.

Debut- Great way to start off, huh?

In his first ever match, he called himself “Texas Red” and wore a mask, again probably due to Paul’s guidance. While Paul was not officially his manager, he still had a great deal of influence on the young man’s mind and career. He knew that Mark, like his brother whom Paul was also pushing into wrestling, was still very young, very inexperienced and not that great a wrestler. So he got him a mask, which would hopefully mean that no-one knew that he was the same guy as whatever name he would end up working under.

Sorry Paul.

Regardless, Texas Red’s first opponent was Bruiser Brody, which is as about as deep as being thrown into the deep end in this sport as you can get. Brody, naturally, beat the crap out of Mark. And he discovered something weird.

He took the abuse fairly well.

Not enough to win, but unlike some of Brody’s opponents Mark was able to get up, and walk around afterwards. Paul no doubt seized this, and told Mark to train harder, to keep this up, to get his pain threshold higher and higher. That Mark did, which may account for why his initial years in the WCCW were so unsuccessful. He didn’t focus on learning how to win or how to wrestle better, although he did learn how to walk the top rope during this time, but instead he focused solely on getting tougher, getting harder, being able to absorb more punishment. As soon as he lost to a move, he’d train until he could shrug that move off. Repeat.

After 4 years in the WCCW, he left the company, having learnt all he could.

Phase 2- USWA… Wait, he’s worked for Jarrett?

I guess he’ll be teaming with Sting any day now, huh?

Indeed, in 1988 he joined the CWA which soon became the USWA after Jerry Jarrett bought the company. He changed his name, possibly to avoid stigma and/or letting the word slip about his threshold for pain. He changed his name, several times, never settling on a name or indeed public persona as he struggled without someone to guide him. The Commando lasted for a while, at least until Paul realised Mark needed help.

So Paul Bearer hooked him up with a full time manager, General Skandor Akbar, and Akbar changed his name again.

Phase 2b- Master Of Pain. Giving or taking?

Now called The Master Of Pain (and still wearing a mask), Mark won his first title April 1st, 1989 when he defeated Jerry Lawler to win the USWA Unified Heavyweight Title, the champion of AWA and WCCW AND USWA, although the AWA pulled out before he won it. Regardless, it was still a ‘prestigious’ title when he won it, and when he lost it within a month back to Lawler, Mark still not getting the hang of taking piledrivers and getting back up.

A short while after this, he changed his name yet again.

Phase 2c- The Punisher. Hey, worked for Hulk…

Now called The Punisher, and once again back in the WCCW (albeit the WCWA, a member of the WCCW banner), Mark won the WCWA Texas Heavyweight Championship by forfeit when Eric Embry gave the belt up, The Punisher held the belt for an astonishing 15… days, losing it to Kerry Von Erich.

Paul Bearer felt Mark was ready for bigger things, and since there was a spot for a big, tall dude in WCW, he arranged for Mark to jump ship.

Phase 3- No wonder he signed with Smackdown.

‘Mean’ Mark Callous debuted as the new member of the Skyscrapers tag team, along with “Dangerous” Dan Spivey, managed by Teddy Long. The hole was opened when Sid Vicious got a punctured lung due to a broken rib after a intense brawl with The Steiners at the 9th Clash Of The Champions.

The New Skyscrapers picked up where the old ones left off, brawling with The Road Warriors (Teddy Long had been fired as a referee thanks to some questionable calls, the biggest one costing the Warriors their tag belts) at every chance they could, the two teams fighting at the 10th Clash, an event that saw The Road Warriors lose by DQ for bringing a chair into the ring then getting beaten down by the Skyscrapers, a feat no team had managed before then.

However, just before The Skyscrapers were to get a shot at The Road Warriors in a Chicago Street Fight, an attempt to end their problems set to go down at WrestleWar 1990, Mark’s partner Spivey left the company. Teddy Long scrambled to find a replacement, getting ‘The Masked Skyscraper’ to partner with Mark. Inexperience as a team and the masked guy not being that great, the makeshift team was quickly dispatched and beaten, Hawk pinning the new guy.

Teddy Long moved on, taking over the managing duties for the newly unmasked Doom, Woman having lost interest in them. Paul Bearer was busy back in Texas with his other clients. Mark needed a full time manager. He needed someone to guide him, to mould him.

Enter the Mad Genius.

Phase 3b- No wonder he appeared on ECW on Sci Fi.

Paul E. Dangerously, a.k.a Paul Heyman, needed a big, tough guy to protect him. Mark needed guidance. They found each other.

And at first, things seemed to be going well. Mark destroyed Johnny Ace at Capitol Combat, then beat high flying fan favourite Brian Pillman at the 11th Clash Of The Champions. Mark headed into the Great American Bash full of steam. He was young, hungry, huge, had a great manager, and it seemed like nothing would stop him taking the NWA United States Title and beginning to climb the ranks to superstardom in the NWA and WCW.

Despite Paul E. doing his best, Lex Luger proved too smart, or perhaps too dumb for Mark, as he kept his title with a clothesline.

Ok, it was a great one, but still, it was a move Mark wasn’t prepared for since it was so simple, hence why it worked.

The humiliation of losing to a clothesline meant that Mark was not long for WCW, leaving the company a month later, his final match against Sting at a non-televised event.

Phase 4- Never hurts to go to Japan.

Paul Bearer knew that he was close, very close, to being able to bring Mark into the WWF, but needed more time to set everything up, and arrange for Mark to get there first so he could then move in after him, and thus not be a manager without a client. So, while waiting for Paul Bearer to cross the t’s and dot the i’s and utter a few more clichés, he toured Japan briefly with New Japan Pro Wrestling, wrestling under the name Punisher Dice Morgan.

But in late 1990, the stage was set, and Mark was ready for one more name change, one more change of persona, and to once and for all find the right way to use his freakish ability to withstand pain.