The Wrestling Bard 08.29.08: WWE vs. ROH, and Unforgiving Nostalgia

So, for those who were wondering, I’m doing much better. I’ve had a few long talks with God, and He and I are okay now. Now that I’ve got that important part of my life set, I can focus on less important things, like writing a column for 411mania! And man, did wrestling take a turn for the worse since I last posted a column or what? The last show I watched was Summer Slam, now I read the card for Unforgiven and my brain is completely scrambled. I hated the gimmick when it was announced for RAW, now Smackdown! AND ECW are having them too? GROANS.

Anyway, I’ve got two mini-columns here. One is a nostalgia trip, and the other will be comparing two music artists and how I relate to them with how I relate to WWE and ROH. Warning, these two artists are Contemporary Christian artists. I won’t touch on the subject matter much, but if that bothers you, please skip it and save yourself the headache. Or go ahead and bash me. I want to see if I can get a comment that can compete with the utter hatred directed at my boss.

Unforgiven Unforgotten

Unforgiven will always have a special place in my heart. To date, the highest profile show I have seen was Unforgiven 2005. I saw it with my mom, my brothers, and a friend of the family who may as well be another brother. We made the trip down from Wichita and down to Oklahoma City to watch a card that is still one of my favorites. Unfortunately, we were a little late and missed the pyro, but man, those pyrotechnic displays are LOUD. We could here them from outside the building.

We came in and the first thing we saw is Ric Flair lighting up Carlito with his signature knife-edge chops. Everyone in the arena was behind Ric Flair, and the building was filled with “WOO!” chants. It was even better when he won the match, and with it, the Intercontinental Championship. I consider it to be an honor that I got to see Ric Flair win his last major singles title live. That’s a really cool thing, no matter what your opinion of Flair is. To me, it was the same feeling UFC fans got when Randy Couture beat Tim Sylvia. But Naitch, being who he is, kept me entertained the whole night with his Kayfabe escapades with female fans and a bottle of Viagra.

Flair wasn’t the only legend I got to see that night. Shawn Michaels was also on the card, and that is something else, man. But the real stand-out in his match was his opponent, Chris Masters. To anyone who says that HBK carried that match, I command you to watch it again and actually pay attention to what’s going on. Michaels’ selling was amazing as usual, but most of the offense was Chris Masters, and the young kid did a darn good job of working a lot of different stuff to target HBK’s back. It was his best match, one I would rate at ***1/2. His performance was so good that I picked him as the guy to watch in 2006. It didn’t work out that way, but for one night, Chris Masters was the best worker on a card. And the card was darn good.

Obviously, I was invested in the main event, which was Kurt Angle against John Cena. I was a huge Kurt Angle mark at the time, and I believed that Cena’s reign had run its course. I didn’t hate the guy, I just thought his title reign was…boring. But I was anticipating a great match, based on their **** match from No Mercy 2003. Unfortunately, the dynamic works better with Angle as the face and Cena as the heel, and Angle wasn’t the 2003 Angle anymore. And of course, this was marred by shenanigans with Eric Bischoff and a DQ finish. So it was only about ***1/2, still good, and satisfying. But I got to see Angle get put through a table, which really is an awesome visual live. My only complaint was that Angle didn’t win, but it certainly didn’t mar my enjoyment.

But the one match that stands out from the card was the cage match between Edge and Matt Hardy. This was in the middle of the feud in the aftermath of Lita’s unfaithfulness. I was of course interested in the real life story, though not as much as others. As far as I’m concerned, the personal lives of wrestlers aren’t in my realm of things to critique. And I’m an Edge mark. But at any rate, this match was awesome. There’s really something special about seeing a cage match live that just doesn’t translate on television. And I got to Matt Hardy’s legdrop from the top of the cage. Seeing a dive like that live is one of the coolest things ever. Overall, most people rate that match around the **** mark, and I’d agree with that. It’s the best match I’ve seen live.

What is the point of this? Unforgiven is one of those events that makes me feel nostalgic. Everything is better live, and although that show didn’t matter much in the grand scheme of things, it will always have a special place in my heart. I’ve said it before, but if you haven’t seen a wrestling show live in a while, go see it, preferably with your friends. Screw Barnum and Bailey. Wrestling is the greatest show on Earth.

The Little Indies That Could

WARNING: In case you didn’t read anything before the bold print, as I know some of you are prone to do, here it is again. “Anyway, I’ve got two mini-columns here. One is a nostalgia trip, and the other will be comparing two music artists and how I relate to them with how I relate to WWE and ROH. Warning, these two artists are Contemporary Christian artists. I won’t touch on the subject matter much, but if that bothers you, please skip it and save yourself the headache. Or go ahead and bash me. I want to see if I can get a comment that can compete with the utter hatred directed at my boss.” color=RED> Now that I’ve posted a disclaimer twice, you can’t guilt trip me.

HERE’S A THOUGHT: The reason I am using Christian artists is that that’s what I listen to, it’s what I’m familiar with, and it will lead to the best comparison on my side of things. If you like country, substitute Casting Crowns with Kenny Chesney and Todd Agnew with Big & Rich. If you like rock, use Nickelback and any semi-mainstream artist, etc. The analogy still works.

Those that read the white text in my last column know that I’ve been spending the last two weeks trying to reestablish my connection with God. One of the things that connects me the most is music, specifically, two particular artists: the band named Casting Crowns, and the singles artist Todd Agnew. Those who listen to Christian Radio can attest that these two artists couldn’t be anymore different.

Casting Crowns is the current golden boy of Christian Radio. They are a Grammy Award-winning group that epitomizes what the current sound of Christian Music is. In many ways, they are the John Cena of Christian Music. They both initially got popular due to a controversial gimmick, Cena with his vulgar raps, and Casting Crowns with a song called “If We Are the Body”, a song that pointed out that most Christians do a REALLY bad job of being Christians, and that Churches usually care more about what somebody wears than their spiritual health. This has continued to be a theme of theirs, but it isn’t so angry and bitter that fans reject it. In fact they embrace it. And many of my friends have pointed out that Casting Crowns is so overplayed that they are starting to lose their luster. But the truth is that Casting Crowns have put out three very good to amazing records, and they have a consistency that most Christian bands just don’t have.

Todd Agnew, on the other hand, is NOT popular with mainstream fans. His music sounds less like a worship service, and more like an Indy Rock concert. His style isn’t very radio friendly, but he has something of a cult following, because some people, like me, realize that he is the very best thing going in Christian Music. He’s my favorite artist, period. But he does things that the mainstream Christians don’t like. Like taking classic hymns and turning them into rock songs. He’s also infamous for being the only artist to have his lyrics CENSORED for Christian Radio. His song, “My Jesus” contains the lyric “My Jesus bled and died for my sins/He spent His time with thieves and sluts and liar”. Or another lyric that a lot of Churchies aren’t particular fond of: “My Jesus would never be accepted in my Church/ the blood and dirt on His feet might stain the carpet”. Brutally honest, and naturally, sluts didn’t make it into the censored version. But he still gets some radio play. He’s like Bryan Danielson on the IWC. The typical mainstream fans will never embrace him, but his amazing consistency has forced people to take note of him, even if it’s uncomfortable for them.

While analyzing the polarity of my two favorite musical artists, I can’t help but think that this is similar to the polarity of my two favorite wrestling companies, WWE and ROH. I’ve said that Casting Crowns is the John Cena of Christian Music, and that Todd Agnew is the Bryan Danielson. CC and Cena represent the mainstream, the popular, overexposed product which is shoved so far down our throats that many people want to spit it out, despite the fact that it is still good. WWE is like that. It’s the mainstream, and when people think wrestling, they think WWE. Todd Agnew is the guy who respects traditions (singing old hymns that most would neglect, or songs that are direct scriptures set to music), yet does things that are ridiculously radical (the Indy Rock Style, turning those hymns into rock songs, the use of the word sluts, half of the songs on his last album, etc.) which alienates him from most lovers of mainstream. This is what ROH does. They respect the traditions of pure wrestling, but also have cutting edge hardcore violence, high-flying, and puro-inspired offense. Their dedication to quality and uniqueness has put them in a niche where they are bigger than an indy, but smaller than a big company. Todd is like that. Too well-known to be an Indy guy, but too different to be embraced by the majority of the audience.

The point of this rant? The IWC is currently plagued by a war of anti-ROH and anti-WWE people. And it’s ridiculous. There are people that say that WWE is no-good, which is, bluntly, B.S. WWE IS wrestling, and anyone who ignores this fact is just a high-and-mighty elitist smark. It’s not going away, and it will always be what wrestling is about. And then there are the anti-ROH guys, who are just as arrogant and closed-minded. They claim that these workers work the Indy-circuit because they aren’t good enough to be WWE wrestlers. Anyone who has watched an ROH show knows that this is stupid, and that frankly, it is not how good they are, but rather, the style that they wrestle which alienates them from WWE. People who complain that Bryan Danielson doesn’t know how to wrestle are, quite frankly, either ignorant or stupid. Either they’ve never seen a Bryan Danielson match, or, if they have seen it, they didn’t WATCH it. Or possibly, they just have no clue what psychology and workrate and storytelling are. What we have is two groups of elitist fans who are unwilling to budge, and continue to bash others who dare to think differently than them.

In fact, the ROH elitists have been so passionate about a war that doesn’t even exist. ROH may eventually get a television show, maybe reach TNA levels. But they will never have the success of WWE, or WCW for that matter, unless they give up what makes them different. I want ROH to succeed, but not at the expense of what makes them different. And more importantly, I don’t want their success to be at the expense of WWE. WWE certainly bears no ill will to ROH. They realize that it is a different product marketed to a different audience. There is no war between WWE and ROH except for the one created by stupid elitist fans of both organizations.

Where do I stand? Am I an ROHbot, or a WWE Sheep? The answer is that I am neither. I have always loved, and always will love WWE. It’s what brought me to love wrestling, unless you count WCW, which I only loved because I was under ten and didn’t know better. Casting Crowns brought me to love and embrace Christian Music again, and I will never abandon them for that reason. But I am also an ROH and a Todd Agnew fan. I love how they are different from the mainstream and I want them to succeed. And I feel that the Wrestling World is big enough for both WWE and ROH, just like the Christian Music world is big enough for Casting Crowns and Todd Agnew. I am not a WWE fan or an ROH fan. I am a wrestling fan.

* For those interested, I will be reviewing all six albums from Casting Crowns and Todd Agnew in my blog in the coming week. Believe it or not, I get tired of writing about wrestling, so I’ll be posting a bunch of non-wrestling related reviews in my blog. You can access my blog by clicking on my profile at the bottom of the article.

RANDOM MATCH REVIEW:

Triple H vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin, 3 Stages of Hell, WWE No Way Out 2001:
Why am I reviewing this? Because I wrote the Cena-Austin match two weeks ago, and it reminded me of how awesome Steve Austin was. So here’s one of his best matches.

I just want to point out, first and foremost, that the hype video for this is amazing. It makes this match seem like an epic battle that will determine the fate of the WWF, while also showing how intensely personal it is. This match had a fantastic build, and it really had no choice but to deliver.
Triple H wanted the first fall to be straight wrestling, and Austin wanted the second fall to be a street fight. Naturally, it was decided that a third fall, if needed, would be in a cage match.

First Fall, Straight Wrestling: The “wrestling” match starts with Austin sliding in and trading rights with the Game. No “I hate you so much I’m gonna grapple you!” here. HHH tries to get a front facelock and a side headlock, but Austin is having none of it and clocks him with a back elbow. A pair of Rattlesnake rights send Hunter to the corner for some mudhole stompin’. Helmsley reverses a cross-corner whip but Stone Cold comes out with a clothesline. He slams Hunter into the turnbuckle and works the mounted punches, HHH works in some classic Flair by going for an atomic drop to escape, but of course eats another clothesline. Austin goes for the Stunner and the Game tries to bail, but Stone Cold catches him and whips, goes for the Thesz Press but the Cerebral Assassin drops him throat first on the top rope. Triple H goes for the Pedigree but the Bionic Redneck escapes and counters to the Divorce Court. Helmsley goes outside and Austin slams him into the steps before ramming the arm into the post multiple times. Back inside the Game goes for the Pedigree again, but his arm is screwed. Stone Cold whales away at the arm and works an arm wringer, HHH escapes but runs into the Thesz Press. The required mounted punches and Stone Cold Salute forearm drop follow and gets 2 for Austin. Triple H escapes with his right shoulder in a nice touch. The Rattlesnake continues to have his way with Helmsley and hits a spinning spinebuster, but gets caught with a foot attempting the second rope forearm drop. At least that spot makes sense when used against Austin, since it’s one of his signature moves. HHH goes after Austin’s bad neck with a pair of neckbreakers and a series of knees to the back of the neck. Man, Triple H was ON during this period. And now he goes after the bad knees with kicks, selling the arm while he’s at it. Austin fights back and tries to go for an arm wringer, but the Game hits a thumb to the eye and a chop block. Who’s his favorite wrestler again? And now he slams it into the ring post. Attacking one of Austin’s injuries so he can work on another one: he IS the Cerebral Assassin. Oh, but Stone Cold pulls him into the ring post. HHH gets another chop block and hits a springboard elbow to the knee. We get a slugfest but Hunter ends that with a leg kick. He slams the knee into the mat and applies the Figure-Four Leglock. The cool thing about 2/3 falls is you can work a lot of false finishes. And Triple H even uses the ropes for leverage. Austin pulls him away from the ropes and counters the hold, but Helmsley gets the ropes, and drops an elbow on Austin’s neck. He goes back to the legs with a series of elbow drops, but the Rattlesnake counters by dropping his leg repeatedly on his face. Stone Cold gets a series of right hands, slams him into the turnbuckle repeatedly, and does another Lou Thesz Press, mounted punches, and FU elbow. DON’T PISS STONE COLD OFF! It only gets 2 though. Triple H calls a clothesline, and catches a foot off an attempted Stunner, and lo and behold, eats a clothesline. Austin goes for another Stunner, but the Game pushes him into the corner and hits a neckbreaker. Okay, THAT was cool. Austin goes for another Stunner, but the Game sends him to the buckles, does an O’Connor Roll, but Austin counters at 2 and gets his own 2 count. Austin whales on him again, and Triple H gets an obvious low blow, but jumps off the turnbuckles and STONE COLD STUNNER! 1…2…3! Austin wins the first fall.

Second Fall, Street Fight: We get a bit of a rest, but the look of glee on Austin’s face is priceless, as now he can really do some damage. He tosses him outside, and hits a few knees to the ribs before hitting a pair of suplexes on the ramp. Stone Cold drags around and slams him into the announce table, before smacking him with a monitor. The Game tries to hightail it while the Rattlesnake throws some chairs into the ring, but gets caught. Austin pummels him, throws him back to ringside and back into the ring. Helmsley tries a chair shot but Stone Cold stops it, grabs the chair, takes Helmsley down and basically Garvin Stomps him with chair shots. He would use that as a finish in his classic match with the Rock at WM XVII a month later. Austin drives it into his ribs a final time, but Hunter somehow kicks out at 2. Austin throws the ring bell in and HHH tries to escape, but Stone Cold catches him and maneuvers him back to the announce table. BARBWIRE 2X4! Austin just hit the jackpot! Triple H gets a low blow and drills the Bionic Redneck with the barbwire and Austin is bloody. The Game clears the table and pummels Stone Cold, Pedigree try, but Hunter STILL sells his arm, and Austin backdrops him through the other table! Things slow down a bit after twenty minutes of work. Austin takes a beer can to the Game and pummels him tosses him into the ring, searches for the 2×4 that Triple H threw into the ring, and thus gets caught with the ring bell. He kicks out at 2 though. Hunter gets a neckbreaker on the chair, but it only gets a series of 2 counts. Austin catches the Game in a desperation sleeper hold, BACKDROP SUPLEX ON THE CHAIR! Oh man, this is awesome. Hunter only gets 2 though, and now he wants a Pedigree on the steel chair, but gets BACK BODY DROPPED OVER THE TOP AND TO THE FLOOR! Outside, Austin gets a chair shot, and then with the steel steps. He pummels the Game some more, but Hunter turns the tide with a drop toehold into the other part of the steps. He slams Stone Cold into the steps, and gets SLEDGY! He goes to use the steel steps as an anvil, but Austin gets a gut shot, and we get a sickening thud on the steps. Back in the ring and the Rattlesnake has the hammer. Austin stops a mudhole, but the Game fights out, grabs Sledgy, Austin fights, goes for the Stunner but Hunter sends him to the ropes, SLEDGEHAMMER SHOT! Helmsley adds an unnecessary Pedigree for the academic 3 count.

Third Fall, Cage Match: The Cage starts to lower as both men get some well deserved rest. Two falls and thirty minutes and there were NO rest holds. That’s impressive. In fact, those first two falls are ***** by themselves. This will just be the icing on the cake. They trade blows until the Game slams him into the steel. He pummels Stone Cold, and slams him into the cage again. Things have noticeable slowed down, but Helmsley gets the barbwire 2×4, and grates Austin’s face with it for a LONG time, but the Austin clocks him with a chair. The Rattlesnake slams him into the cage and grates Helmsley with the barbwire, then drives it into his skull for 2. Austin goes back to the barbwire and basically uses it as a rest hold. Foley has mentioned that the barbwire grating spot is effective for about six seconds. It should NOT be used as a rest hold. Triple H fights back and DDTs him into the steel chair, but takes forever to pin and only gets 2. Austin starts to pummel Triple H again, and the Game Flair Flops, but Austin only gets 2. HHH climbs the cage and now they brawl on the top rope, and Hunter wins as Stone Cold crotches himself on the ropes. Austin gets up and tosses Helmsley off of the top rope for 2, and then does some more mounted punches. Austin whips the Game, goes for a Stunner, countered, PEDIGREE! 1…2…NO! The Game gets a steel chair shot, goes for another Pedigree, but Austin counters and catapults Helmsley into the support beam of the cage. STONE COLD STUNNER! 1…2…NO! Triple H grabs his sledgehammer, Austin grabs the barbwire 2×4, and they slam smack each other at the same time, but hammer beats barbwire, and Triple H falls on top for the 3.

The Bard’s Opinion: Well, unless you are Dave Meltzer, you already know this match gets the full rating. The first two falls are a wrestling fan’s wet dream, as we get thirty minutes with psychology, storytelling, brawling, insane bumps, and hardcore spots with almost no resting. The third fall is a little lethargic, but after working as hard as they did for thirty minutes, it’s hard to blame them. This was almost everyone’s pick for match of the year in 2001, and I can’t disagree. Awesome, awesome match.

The Bard’s Rating: *****

That’s it, I’m out. Next week, we will have the Dream Card, unless Wilcox decides to screw it up again. Oh well, if he does, I’ll still be reading his stuff. It’s nice to know someone else does a good job at that sort of thing. And to rip off one of favorite readers…