Column of Honor: 10.25.08: Part Two: LAX vs. LOX

Welcome back to the Column. More bang for the buck this week and lots more to talk about, so let’s do it!

Honorarium

-Again, wrestling enters my life whether I want it to or not. In addition to riding the MTA buses in NYC where I see Triple H’s head promoting Smackdown on MyNetwork TV on the front bumper advertisement (and how apropos is that?)…last night I’m pumping gas (my second job after teaching, no just kidding) and who shows up on one of those futuristic new fangled TV screens they have now in gas stations? JOHNATHAN COACHMAN doing a sports report. I just about jumped right into the car egress seeing that one. Better men than I can come up with a punch line involving THE COACH and one of the following: a. Coach working at the gas station; b. sucking like a gas pump at commentary in WWE; c. wrestlers on the gas.

But I loved ya Coach while you were McMahon and Bischoff’s stooge.

-Hulk Hogan’s CCW is THE GREATEST THING EVER. I cannot tell you how much I enjoyed that first episode, because the neighbors could possibly wake up from the yelling and shouting I would make. BUT I FREAKING LOVED IT and let me tell you why. Sure it may have been business exposing in its comments about selling or not selling moves and it has some of the most sorry sad sack of you know what C and D list celebrities (except for Danny Bonaduce—that dude rocks hardcore), but for pure entertainment pleasure, this was hard to beat. The ludicrous statements made by Hogan, that Playboy skank calling Beefcake and Knobbs some of the best wrestlers of all time and the COMPLETELY FAKE studio audience straight out of the WSX tapings, I could not stop laughing and smiling and marking out. A test pattern or Christmas Yule Log may have received higher ratings than this show, but they have gained at least one faithful viewer in me. And besides, that Yule Log has quite a fan base.

-Delirious and Player Uno’s shining moment of excellence: discussing which is better, 8 bit NES or all other consoles that came after it…which is basically Delirious shouting out names of video game systems and Player Uno being aghast at it…and then D gives the coup de grace by calling Princess Peach a “tramp”. Check it out below:

-Fans of MMA or David Mamet (henceforth known as David MMAmet) should definitely check out the movie “Redbelt” now that it’s available on DVD. Its a spectacularly tight and intriguing story of a jiu-jujitsu instructor married into a (obviously Gracie inspired) MMA family who is struggling to make ends meet and how he must decide whether or not money is more or less important than his personal honor. Chiwetel Ejiofor is incredibly sympathetic (a lot of it comes from the eyes and his face acting), Tim Allen nails a serious supporting role and hey, there’s even some cool cameos by MMA’s finest including Randy Couture! I think the ending may be a bit over the top and slightly breaches credulity, but it certainly ends the movie on a powerful note. Again, definitely check it out and also watch the extras including a really good Q&A with Mamet and a separate interview with Dana White.

LAX vs. LOX

We’re talking about letters this week, so we might as well do a little bit of a comparison and contrast between two forces of nature that are just a few vowels apart. It’s the Latin American Xchange (LAX) up against Bagel’s favorite tag team partner, smoked salmon, a.k.a. LOX!

(What, did you expect me to mention the rappers instead?)

(I am Jewish you know.)

As you can see it’s a close call, but clearly LOX is the winner. LAX may win some and may lose some in the wrestling ring, but a Bagel with Lox is a nearly unstoppable meal. You can’t compete with the big fish on the street!

ROH Preview: LAX vs. The Briscoes–October 25th, 2008 in Danbury, CT

Inman Sports Club
7:30pm belltime
990 Inman Avenue
Edison, NJ 08820

The Main Event – Dream Tag Team Match
Jay & Mark Briscoe vs. LAX (Homicide & Hernandez)

The history between Homicide and The Briscoes goes way back in the day, all the way to when Homicide began to form the Rottweilers and The Briscoes were the major opponents (along with Samoa Joe) in tag matches. Then later on Homicide and The Briscoes tangled again, and this time Homicide teamed up with Joe to take on The Briscoes, who were Cornette’s flunkies. Now they face off again but Homicide is paired up with LAX partner Hernandez in a dream match fit for the independent wrestling scene of 2008. Homicide is going to be very close to his New York City roots and will likely have a very partisan crowd cheering him on. Hernandez will bring the power game to the match and it will be up to Jay & Mark to work out a game plan that brings the big man down. It’s a huge task for the five time champions, but a necessary one if they hope to win against a very dominant tag team in LAX.

Anything Goes Match
Austin Aries vs. Jimmy Jacobs

Saying “Anything Goes” between these two is sort of like putting a fat guy in a pizzeria and saying “Anything Goes”. Everyone is going to go wild and take everything they can. Jacobs and Aries had a fantastic singles match in Chicago at Vendetta II that sits in my top ten matches of the year list. It was that great to see these two just fight it out in an atmosphere of violence and vengeance. They’ll do it again here in the first of a best out of three series that looks to be the finale to their feud. Expect some crazy shit to go down to get this off on the right foot.

FIP World Heavyweight Title Match
Go Shiozaki (if still champion) defends vs. The Necro Butcher

Shiozaki is off to a great start as FIP champion by repelling championship offenses by the likes of Roderick Strong and Austin Aries. Last night he defeated Aries and got back a loss he took early on in ROH. Here he faces a man he beat in his first match of his current run for ROH. Necro remains a dangerous challenge though, because he’s tough as nails, can brawl with you and can certainly take the best of Go’s chops and keep going. Go has his work cut out for him but I don’t see a title change here.

Special Challenge Match
Jerry Lynn vs. Tyler Black

It’s Old New F’N School vs. New New F’n School in this one, so to speak. Lynn has been great in the role of the crafty veteran who still has some gas left in the tank and still wants to prove he’s got what it takes to win. Black is on the rise in the promotion and is the indy darling for some of the fan base. Many think he’s the next big thing in the company after a break out year. The hype seems to indicate that the winner of this match should be right in line for a title shot. That favors Lynn, who fought Nigel before but in a non-title situation. Black has a ton of offense though and could spoil Lynn’s plans.

Grudge Match
Brent Albright vs. Davey Richards with Larry Sweeney

This is labeled a “grudge” match but the grudge isn’t really between Albright and Richards but rather between Albright and Sweeney. Sweeney won’t get in the ring with Albright so Richards is his proxy. Expect a lot of chain sequences, back and forth strikes and likely some arm work as both men use arm submissions to finish matches.

Six Man Mayhem
Chris Hero with Larry Sweeney vs. Claudio Castagnoli vs. Ruckus vs. Jigsaw Hallowicked vs. Rhett Titus vs. Jason Blade

The main attraction for this match is to see the first time Claudio and Chris Hero are in the ring for quite some time. Will they create a new pact between them or still hold some very serious grudges? The other note is the insertion of Hallowicked into the match and while it could be a long shot, the replacement could get the upset win in order to push someone new. The safe bet is on Claudio though.

Do Or Die Tag #1 – Non-Title
ROH World Tag Team Champions Kevin Steen & El Generico vs. The Osirian Portal

I discussed these matches a bit in both 411’s Buy or Sell and on the Roundtable Preview, but to sum it up, this is The O.P.’s chance to impress on the main card for ROH. It’s a good spot, against the reigning ROH World Tag champs, so you know the focus will be on the action and interaction of these four great personalities. Whether or not the O.P. will continue to be booked depends on this performance so hopefully their nerves are in check and they get a warm crowd to welcome them in. Expect the ROH champs to win as they look to secure their place as the best in the division.

Do Or Die Tag #2
A team representing The Age Of The Fall vs. Cheech & Cloudy

Cheech & Cloudy are no strangers to ROH, but it has been a while since they’ve hit the main stage. They have a fantastic gimmick nowadays and the chops to use their personality and wrestling moves to get the crowd behind them. I’ll stick with calling for an upset win for them, but if Jacobs or Black does double duty,that thought bubble will burst.

Plus: Delirious; Daizee Haze; Sara Del Rey, Shane Hagadorn & Bobby Dempsey of Sweet & Sour Inc; Grizzley Redwood; and others.

Going Home

The Song Book

We’ve done The Briscoes, Daizee Haze and Austin Aries, now how about someone a little bit different? Get me a new theme song for the former Mitch Franklin, now sporting a fantastic beard, using a lumberjack gimmick and calling himself GRIZZLY REDWOOD. Awesome.

Column of Honor Suggestion: “Big Bad John” by Jimmy Dean
Just an awesome country tune that screams out “lumberjack”. The touch of the triangle and the backing vocals make this song just funny enough to really fit the picture of little Mitch Franklin trying to be a big, bad lumber jack.

So what do YOU think Grizzly Redwood’s theme should be? Drop me a line and let me know! Your choices will be published in future editions of Column of Honor.

Ringtones

I didn’t know that Kizarny was a writer on 411mania?

Posted By: Guest#3398 (Guest) on October 18, 2008 at 10:28 PM

Bizelieve Izit, Frizend!

Nothing against Homicide, but I am more interested in seeing what Hernandez brings to the table. Seeing him toss just about everyone in the match around will be an interesting sight.

Posted By: JP Nichols (Guest) on October 19, 2008 at 12:03 AM

Looks like you got your wish JP. Word from those in attendance was that Hernandez was bulldozing through everyone in the match last night.

ROH really doesn’t need to be infiltrated with all these Chikara tag teams. It’s good to be in a light hearted mood every now and then but I don’t want all my matches to have the same theme. Chikara guys are really young and most of them are really green and only know how to work with the guys they wrestle frequently with in Chikara.

Posted By: Kaleal (Guest) on October 19, 2008 at 11:05 AM

I agree that too much cross-over would probably be overkill, but even just adding one or two of the teams from CHIKARA or elsewhere on the independent scene is likely to help freshen up a tag division that was predominantly relying on three main teams and sub sets of other stables. The great thing about the CHIKARA teams is that each offer something completely different as far as personality and gimmick and you definitely need those different pieces of the puzzle when setting up a division. I really do disagree with you on F.I.S.T. in that they are WAY over as heels in CHIKARA. Everyone hates them and not because they’re bland, but because they act like assholes. If they bring that mentality to ROH then they could be very valuable assets in a company where some heels are cheered just because it’s the cool thing to do. The SSB would have a lot to work on to make their gimmick fit within ROH, but hey, Delirious did it, Generico did it and Kenny Omega, who uses a move from Dragonball Z of all places, has been able to fit in with the ROH product while still being who he is.

There does need to be a happy medium of CHIKARA infusion, but I’m just saying it would be at least a good thing to try out these teams at least once.

has there ever been a 60 minute Iron Man tag team match? anywhere?

Posted By: eRIC (Guest) on October 19, 2008 at 01:30 PM

Aside from No Mercy video games, I don’t seem to recall any. Of course there was the sixty-minute four way Iron Man match to crown an ROH champion…but nothing else similar to the iron tag concept springs to mind.

The Independent Buy In: 2008

**CHIKARA “Cibernetico & Robin” (Torneo Cibernetico: Kings of Wrestling vs. Dorado’s Luchadores, The Olsen Twins / Cheech & Cloudy, Quackenbush / Donst, The Colony / BLK OUT ) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA “Brusied” (Kingston / Donst, Campeones de Parejas: F.I.S.T. vs. Incoherence / Castagnoli / Taylor, The Colony / Brodie Lee & Olsen Twins, Cheech & Cloudy / Osirian Portal ) High Recommendation
**Pro Wrestling NOAH “Special Budokan Double Shot”7/15 & 9/9/07 (Determination League Semi Finals & Finals, NTV Cup Finals)High Recommendation
**PWG Battle of Los Angeles Night 1 (Castagnoli / Williams, Evans / Pac, Black / Shelley, Aries / Strong, PWG Tag Titles: Generico & Steen / Dragon Kid & Susumu Yokosuka)Medium Recommendation
**PWG Battle of Los Angeles Night 2 (CIMA / Tornado, Steen / Butcher, McGuinness / Richards, Kid / Yokosuka) Low Recommendation
**PWG Battle of Los Angeles Night 3 (the entire show) High Recommendation
**Shimmer Volume 11 (Sarah Stock / MsChif, Sarah Stock / Cheerleader Melissa, Sara Del Rey / Cindy Rogers, Nikki Roxx / Lacey, Daizee Haze / Malia Hosaka, Allison Danger / Hosaka)High Recommendation
**SHIMMER Volume 12 (Del Rey / Lacey, Del Rey / Sarah Stock, Haze / Lacey, Portuguese Princess Ariel / Josie / Nikki Roxx / Portia Perez, Melissa & MsChif / Lexie Fyfe & Hosaka)High Recommendation
**SHIMMER Women’s Athletes Volume 13 (Melissa / Portuguese Princess Ariel, “Dark Angel” Sarah Stock / Daizee Haze, Portia Perez / MsChif, Del Rey & Roxx vs. Rain & Lacey, O’Neal vs. Melissa) Medium Recommendation
**SHIMMER Women’s Athletes Volume 14 (SHIMMER Title: Del Rey / Lacey, Nikki Roxx / Amazing Kong, Two out of Three falls: Allison Danger / Cindy Rogers, Portuguese Princess Ariel / Amber O’Neal) Medium Recommendation
**CHIKARA The Battle of Who Could Care Less (Incoherence & Tim Donst / BLK OUT, Claudio Castagnoli & Equinox / Hero & Hawke, Lince Dorado & Pantera / Olsen Twins, Quackenbush & The Colony / F.I.S.T. / Osirian Portal) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA The Sordid Perils of Everyday Existence (Campeones de Parejas: Incoherence / Cheech & Cloudy, Lucha de Apresta: Chris Hero / Equinox, F.I.S.T., Ellis, Ryder / Quack / Donst / Super Smash Bros.) Medium Recommendation
**CHIKARA Chapter 11 (Hallowicked / Kingston, Colony / Super Smash Brothers & Shane Storm, Tex-Arkana Title Match: Alvarez / Sweeney, Quack, Trik Davis & Helios / Shayne Hawke & The Osirian Portal, MIYAWAKI, Hasegawa & Pantera / Cheech & Cloudy & Delirious) High Recommendation
**SHIMMER Women’s Athletes Volume 15 (SHIMMER Title: Sara Del Rey / Amazing Kong, Daizee Haze / Sara Stock, Cheerleader Melissa / Alexa Thatcher, Minnesota Home Wrecking Crew / Ariel & Josie, Sereena Deeb / Jetta) High Recommendation
**SHIMMER Women’s Athletes Volume 16 (SHIMMER Title Two Out of Three Falls: Sara Del Rey / Sara Stock, Amazing Kong / Cheerleader Melissa, Daizee Haze MsChif & Eden Black / Lacey, Rain & Jetta, Portia Perez & Nicole Matthews / Ariel & Josie, Sereena Deeb / Jetta) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA Two Eyebrows Are Better Than One (Castagnoli, Lince Dorado & Ophidian / Quackenbush, Donst & Amasis, Kingston / Storm, Colony / F.I.S.T., Moravian Greyhound / Zombie Plantain / Hydra)Medium Recommendation
**CHIKARA King of Trios Night One (Colony / Go, Nakazawam Shimizu, Osirian Portal & Mecha Mummy / Quackenbush, Storm & Skayde, Cheech & Cloudy & M.C. KZ / Quackenbush, Storm & Skayde, Delirious, Hallowicked & Helios / The Cartel) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA King of Trios Night Two (Player Uno, Stupified & El Generico / Cannon & North Star Express, Lince, Pantera & Incognito / Los Ice Creams & Glacier, Sweet & Sour Inc. / F.I.S.T. & Taylor, Donst, Gulak & Sumner / Fabulous Three / ) Medium Recommendation
**CHIKARA King of Trios Night Three (KOT Quarter, Semi Finals & Finals, Tag Team Gauntlet) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA Deuces Wild (NWA Jr. Heavyweight Title: Mike Quackenbush / El Pantera, UltraMantis Black / Tim Donst, Young Lions Cup: Helios / Lince Dorado, Colony / Osirian Portal, Robbie Ellis / Ice Cream Jr.) Medium Recommendation
**CHIKARA Passion and Persistence (Brodie Lee / Claudio Castagnoli, Campeones de Parejas: Incoherence / F.I.S.T., Quackenbush, Shane Storm, Cheech & Cloudy / Mitch Ryder & Shayne Hawke, Larry Sweeney & Robbie Ellis, Hydra / Chuck Taylor)High Recommendation
**CHIKARA Grit & Glory (Castagnoli, Sonjay Dutt & Pantera / Quackenbush, Jorge Rivera & Turbo, Campeones de Parejas: Incoherence / Osirian Portal, Storm / Kingston, Vin Gerard/ Lince Dorado, Colony / Fabulous Three, Hydra & Tim Donst / Super Smash Brothers, Gran Akuma / PSYCHO, Daizee Haze & Chuck Taylor / Sara Del Ray & Bobby Dempsey)High Recommendation
**CHIKARA AniversarioMA (Atomicos Increibles: Mike Quackenbush, Cheech, Stupified & Worker Ant / Cloudy, Player Uno, Soldier Ant & Shane Storm, Brodie Lee, Mitch Ryder & Shayne Hawke / Incoherence & Claudio Castagnoli, Chuck Taylor & Gran Akuma / Turbo & Lince Dorado, El Pantera vs. Jorge Rivera , Osirian Portal / 2.0) Medium Recommendation
**CHIKARA AniversarioCT (Osirian Portal / Shane Storm & Mike Quackenbush, Super Smash Bros. / Cheech & Cloudy, Hydra & Tim Donst / Los Ice Creams, F.I.S.T. / The Colony, Brodie Lee / Claudio Castagnoli) High Recommendation
**FIP Cage of Pain II (Cage of Pain II, Roderick Strong/Larry Sweeney, Delirious & Hallowicked & Jigsaw/BxB Hulk & YAMATO & Jack Evans, Erick Stevens/Necro Butcher) High Recommendation
**FIP Redefined (Erick Stevens/Roderick Strong in their best encounter in FIP or ROH, Austin Aries/Davey Richards, Nigel McGuinness/Necro Butcher, Shawn Murphey/Heartbreak Express, Sal Rinauro/Tyler Black) High Recommendation
**CZW Deja Vu 3 (No Rope Barbed Wire Match: JC Bailey/Necro Butcher, El Generico/Super Dragon, B-Boy/Nate Webb, Ruckus & Mike Quackenbush/Kings of Wrestling) High Recommendation
**SHIMMER Volume 17 (Sara Del Rey & Allison Danger / MsChif & Cheerleader Melissa, Lacey / Sara Stock, Mercedes Martinez / Wesna Busic, Amazing Kong / Ariel, Daizee Haze / Cindy Rogers) High Recommendation
**SHIMMER Volume 18 (Amazing Kong / Wesna Busic, SHIMMER Title: Sara Del Rey / MsChif, Cheerleader Melissa / Sara Stock, Mercedes Martinez / Cindy Rogers, Minnesota Home Wrecking Crew / Ashley Lane & Nevaeh) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA Young Lions Cup VI Night 1 (Fabulous Three / The Colony, YLC Semi Final Six Way Elimination, Sami Calahan / Vin Gerard, Jimmy Olsen / Stupefied, Amasis / Ultimo Breakfast) (NEW ADDITION) Medium Recommendation
**CHIKARA Young Lions Cup VI Night 2 (YLC Semi Final Six Way Elimination, Storm & Quackenbush / Super Smash Brothers, Worker Ant / Chip Day, Johnny Gargano / Marshe Rocket, Neo Solar Temple / Soul Touchaz, Ophidian / Turtle ) (NEW ADDITION) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA Young Lions Cup VI Night 3 (YLC Finals: Fire Ant / Vin Gerard, Brodie Lee / Drake Younger, Eddie Kingston / Soldier Ant, Osirian Portal / Bobby Dempsey & Sara Del Rey, Fabulous Three / Soul Touchaz, Jimmy Olsen / Lince Dorado) (NEW ADDITION) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA Tragedy & Triumph (No DQ: Brodie Lee / Castagnoli, Vin Gerard / Fire Ant, Storm / Quackenbush, Eddie Kingston / Lince Dorado, Osirian Portal & F.I.S.T. / Super Smash Brothers & The Colony) (NEW ADDITION) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA La Loteria Letal (Vin Gerard vs. Colin Delaney / Mike Quackenbush & Pinkie Sanchez, Larry Sweeney & Claudio Castagnoli / Pinkie Sanchez & Mike Quackenbush, Icarus & Ultimo Breakfast / Tim Donst & Helios, Lince Dorado & Jimmy Olsen / Shane Storm & Eddie Kingston , Colin Delaney & Vin Gerard / Mitch Ryder & Halcom Guerrero, Icarus & Ultimo Breakfast / Lince Dorado & Jimmy Olsen)(NEW ADDITION) High Recommendation
**CHIKARA Style & Substance (Cage Match: Claudio Castagnoli / Brodie Lee, F.I.S.T. / The Colony, Vin Gerard & STIGMA / Mike Quackenbush & Tim Donst, Osirian Portal / Cheech & Cloudy, Kingston / Dorado, The Best Around & Order Of The Neo Solar Temple / Hydra, Helios & Incoherence ) (NEW ADDITION) High Recommendation

This section needs your help! If you want to recommend some good independent wrestling to your fellow internet readers out there, drop me a line for the column.

ROH @ 411

It’s a record setting 411 Buy or Sell as I match wits and internet keystrokes with The Navigation Log’s Matt Short to discuss this weekend’s ROH action.

We also have the 411 Roundtable Preview of the Danbury and Edison, NJ shows moderated by yours truly.

J.D. Dunn gives ROH Death Before Dishonor VI a 9.5, one of the highest scores of the year for an ROH show. He also reviews Fueling The Fire, which has two really great tag matches on the card including the Machine Guns vs. Kevin Steen & El Generico.

Chris Lansdell Asks 411 and interestingly enough the idea of ROH on TV is discussed.

Honor Bound Links

Check out Steve Cook’s report on Celebrity Championship Wrestling, then you MUST watch the madness ensue on CMT.

Tim Livingston has a fantastic column title and a fantastic column idea follows up on it.

Aaron Hubbard looks at the idea of “entertainers” or “wrestlers” (not a dirty word in this column).

High Road / Low Road on Sting winning the TNA Title again.

The Fink’s Payload tried to make Samoa Joe a bad ass once again. Email those ideas to JJ and VR though, not The Fink.

Bayanidiscusses stealers and cheaters. I’m sure he’s rejoicing in the brackets for PWG’s Battle of Los Angeles being released as well.

Michael Weyer discusses the costs and benefits of having an “Icon” in your company.

Once again we find ourselves at the end of the road of the column of honor for the week. Next time out, results from Edison, part four of CHIKARA vs. ROH (vote on Necro vs. Lee now!) and so much more! Thanks for your reading and your feedback!

BROOKLYN! PRINCE NANA, EH!!!
–Ari–