Lansdell’s Sunday Brunch News Report 10.26.08

Greetings, humanity! Welcome to Lansdell’s Sunday Brunch. I’m struggling for material this week, and there isn’t even anything to rant about. Well, I could rant about Impact and how TNA are throwing away every good chance they get to draw in new fans, but I did that in the all-new Brace for Impact with Steve Cook. So how about we spare the pleasantries and just go right to themselves

False advertising suit waiting to happen
Vince McMahon bans the terms “superstar” and “sports entertainment”

When Vince McMahon was forced to change the name of his company from WWF, he said it didn’t bother him because, were it down to him, he would remove the “wrestling” as well. Having an excuse to drop the word “Federation”, with its connotations of wrestling, and replace it with “entertainment” was perfect, but he couldn’t drop the “wrestling” without having trouble with networks, shareholders and the IRS. Not a group of people you’d want to piss off.

Over the next few years, Vince has taken WWE further and further away from its wrestling roots. The focus has been on wrestlers with “the look” instead of talent, especially when it came to women. Announcers were told to concentrate more on the story leading to the match and less on calling moves. They stopped being belts and became titles. Wrestlers became superstars. Now even that has gone by the wayside, as the talent are to be referred to as “entertainers”, and “sports entertainment” has been banned in favour of “entertainment”. Rumours that “former WWE champion Triple H”, “great booking” and “cruiserweight champion” had also been banned could not be confirmed at opening time.

The initial rumour was that Vince was taking these steps in order to reclassify himself as a touring entertainer show, and avoid the taxes charged on sporting events. Wrestling in most states is lumped in with boxing and MMA and is therefore subject to the same rules, taxes and regulations. By reclassifying the events as entertainment, McMahon is hoping to group himself with events like Cirque du Soleil. However, later in the week there would be some reports saying that merely changing the way people refer to certain things are will not change anything in regards to taxes.

So why do it? Vince has long wanted to distance the company from wrestling, since he thinks there is a societal stigma attached to wrestling that scares away potential viewers. I don’t think that’s the case here. This is a minor change for the sake of change, something Vince thinks he needs to do in order to revive interest in his product. Either that, or he’s completely lost his mind. I’m not totally ruling out that option either.

TV SHOW DANGEROUS~!
Once again, Ring of Honor is looking for a TV deal

Ring of Honor is possibly the best-run wrestling promotion in the country. They know their audience and more importantly they know how to please that audience. They have the most loyal fans around as a result. Several smaller promotions have or had TV deals in some markets (mostly syndicated), but they didn’t last long and as a result, neither did the promotions. It’s widely accepted that the deal with TNN (now Spike) was the beginning of the end for ECW. RoH, a company that is now at a size that probably equals the old ECW and whose head booker was a student of Paul Heyman, have so far avoided any extended forays into the TV world (with the exception of High Impact TV, which I addressed in this week’s Ask 411) because they couldn’t get the right deal. The latest news is that they are looking for a national partner, along the lines of the deal TNA has with Spike, which will enable them to reach all their fans on a network they would likely already have. G4 Tech TV and Versus are thought to be the front-runners, although the deal is a long way from being done.

Ring of Honor on TV is a mixed blessing in my mind. Sure it would be good to see the action for free, but you have to wonder how they’d work it. The majority of RoH’s business is done through DVD sales, which are often 3-4 months behind. They’ve also got their PPV shows to consider, which already throw off the chronology for people like me who want to watch the shows in order. What exactly would they put on TV? The High Impact TV experiment showed that recording “bonus matches” at shows specifically for TV is a bad idea since it makes the shows drag on. Showing old matches won’t do much to attract new viewers. The only thing I can see is either a highlight show (UGH) or they take a match from the newest releases and show them on TV to drum up interest in the DVDs.

If this happens, Gabe and Cary will have to be very careful with the way they present both the company and the matches. It has the potential to put RoH in a very strong position and possibly challenge TNA for the number 2 spot, but it could also be the death knell for the country’s biggest Indy.

The Week In Links
After all, what’s a Sunday brunch without the paper?

The shows
Just like a TV Guide that’s a week old

Csonka’s Raw Report. Rating dropped to a 2.9, despite the awesomeness of Stone Cold Steve Haastin and Santino. Probably because the wrestling sucked and the main event confused the hell out of everyone.
Bauer’s ECW Report. ECW managed a 1.3 to win the war with Impact this week, and was home to a very strong Henry-Bourne match.
Cook and Lansdell do Impact…LIVE and IN HD! And that’s about all that was good about the show. Rating was a 1.1, but the total viewers went up to 1.6 million. It would be interesting to start seeing the shares as well as the ratings points, since I expect more people will be staying home watching TV when they can’t afford anything else.
Rutherford’s Smackdown Report. Last week’s rating was a 2.0, which is surprisingly close to the CW numbers despite being available in far fewer households.

Required Reading
Best of the week’s editorials

Chin highlights one of my favourite under-rated women’s wrestlers.
Bauer, ARI and Short make history in this week’s Buy and Sell.
Chambers looks at a topic I’ve mentioned several times before.
Lansdell owns Thomas and Rodriguez in this week’s Fact or Fiction.

Textual Intercourse
WWE’s Interactive PPV goes this Sunday, and I have no idea how best to preview it

Randle leads the staff in the Round Table. Normally I’d bring you the logic tree preview, but the possibilities for this one make my brain hurt. Let’s try this:

PRE-SHOW US Title Match: Shelton Benjamin © vs. MVP or R-Truth or Festus

How I would vote: Given that “Not on the pre-show but in the main show instead of the Halloween Costume Contest shit” is not an option, probably R-Truth. Pre-show title match? Really?
How the fans will vote: It’s a toss-up between Festus and R-Truth. I’ll say R-Truth shades it.
Match result: It makes sense for R-Truth to go over, but it seems unlikely to happen on the pre-show. Shelton wins and retains.

Pick the Match – World Tag Team Title Match: Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase © vs. CM Punk and Kofi Kingston or Cryme Tyme vs. The Miz and John Morrison or Jamie Noble and Mickie James vs. William Regal and Layla

How I would vote: Well duh, there’s a match with Punk in it.
How the fans will vote: Cryme Tyme are almost as over as Punk and Kingston, and with the fans that Miz and Morrison have, it would not surprise me to see that match.
Match Result: Cryme Tyme got destroyed on Raw and already have a loss to Miz and Morrison, so they get the win.

ECW Title Match – Matt Hardy © vs Mark Henry or Evan Bourne or Finlay

How I would vote: As much as I’ve enjoyed Hardy and Henry’s matches, I can’t pass up a chance to get Evan Bourne a title shot. However, any of the three options would produce a good match.
How the fans will vote: Another close one, the question will be whether the kids love seeing Hornswoggle more than they love Bourne. Unfortunately, I think they still do. Finlay gets the nod.
Match result: Hardy is not ready to lose his title. He has to hold it until Survivor Series so Jeff can win his title and they can hug in the ring. This will be a very good match, but Hardy comes away with it.

Intercontinental Title – Santino Marella © vs Rowdy Roddy Piper or Golddust or Honky Tonk Man
Note: There is a rumour that the options will end up being Rowdy Charlie Piper, Haasdust and the Haasky Tonk Man.

How I would vote: Ugh. Golddust I suppose, he’s likely to put on the funniest match of the 3. Plus I demand some backstage discomfort with Cody Rhodes. DEMAND I SAY!
How the fans will vote: Piper. They probably forgot who Honky is, and Golddust spent as much time as a heel as he did a face.
Match result: If it’s the real legends, there’s no way any of them wins the belt. Santino in short order, probably via Beth-ference. If it’s Haas…no, Marella still wins. There’s plenty of mileage in the Honk-a-meter yet.

Kane vs Rey Misterio – Falls Count Anywhere or No Holds Barred or 2 out of 3 falls match

How I would vote: 2 out of 3, because we never see them any more. These two have some surprising chemistry and a match like that would give them plenty of time to show it.
How the fans will vote: Another tough one, because Falls Count Anywhere normally carries a No DQ tag, thereby making No Holds Barred a weird option. Nonetheless, it’s what they’ll go for. No Holds Barred it is.
Match result: The first match in this feud had the bookers in a corner with the mask stip. With no such stipulation riding on this match, Kane can win to set up their participation in an 8-man at Survivor Series and the blowoff soon thereafter.

Undertaker vs The Big Show – I Quit or Last Man Standing or Knockout match

How I would vote: I Quit. Some of my favourite matches have been I Quit matches, and personally I’d get a kick out of watching Big Show trying to make Taker tap. After the Cobra Clutch and a bear hug, what’s he got?
How the fans will vote: Last Man Standings normally win these things, the fans love them for some reason. However the Big Show’s demonstration on SmackDown might have helped the decision to go for the I Quit, since the marks will think Show’s punches are dangerous. I’ll say they pick I Quit.
Match result: If I’m right and it IS an I Quit, there is no way Taker loses. He has never given up in a match and they won’t waste that here. If I’m wrong then Big Show will win via nefarious means.

World Title Match – Chris Jericho vs Batista Special Referee Stone Cold Steve Austin or Shawn Michaels or Randy Orton

How I would vote: Randy Orton. I’m intrigued by the way the crowd are reacting to him, and the angles he’s being put in. Making him part of this match just adds another wrinkle to his comeback.
How the fans will vote: Shawn, once and for all putting Stone Cold’s popularity where it belongs and proving to him that he’s past relevance.
Match result: Jericho wins, because Michaels can’t contain his hatred. This will lead to a resurrection of Batista-Michaels, which really ended in an unsatisfactory way.

WWE Title Match – Triple H © vs Jeff Hardy or Vladimir Kozlov or Jeff Hardy vs Vladimir Kozlov

How I would vote: Triple Threat. I think Kozlov can make the match something special in an environment where everything isn’t depending on him. He has a lot of skill but is still raw, and having two experienced workers to guide him would make something grand.
How the fans will vote: Unfortunately, Jeff Hardy. We normally get one title change at Cyber Sunday, but I cannot see Jeff’s big win coming here. With the Triple Threat there’s a perfect way to set up the Hardy-HHH blowoff at Survivor Series, and to do that with a choice of Jeff alone you need a DQ finish, which will suck.
Match result: HHH wins. In a triple threat he’ll pin Kozlov, after Kozlov breaks up a Hardy pin on HHH at the last moment. In a straight match, it’s by DQ. I’m preparing a “Bullshit!” graphic for the Instant Analysis right after I finish this.

Random Video Interlude!

There’s a whole series of these. This one is just sheer greatness. I’m Batman.

One-line looks at minor news

Cade and Murdoch to take Indy bookings – First time Murdoch will have been in a school since he left grade 8 three years ago.
Paul London seen backstage at Smackdown – No word on whose bags he was carrying.
WWE have signed Dos Caras Jr, according to reports from Mexico – At least until tomorrow.
Prince Nana made his RoH return – I have no joke, but Nana rules.
The Miz to appear on Ghosthunters – Hopefully he finds Elijah Burke’s career.

Farewell, Leah Maivia
Thoughts on the passing of a wrestling trailblazer

You can count the influential women in the male-dominated world of professional wrestling very quickly: The Fabulous Moolah. Sable. Stephanie McMahon. Leah Maivia.

I hate writing obituaries, especially for wrestlers and wrestling figures. It’s not just that we as IWC reporters are used to making jokes and hunting for negatives, but mainly writing about someone who has just died is never easy. Leah Maivia will be unknown to most current wrestling fans, and many of those who know the name will only know her as the grandmother of The Rock. What many may not know is that she was the first woman to run an NWA promotion, taking over NWA Polynesian Wrestling when her husband passed away in 1982 and keeping it running for 6 years. According to people who worked under her she was a strong owner who was not afraid to put big muscular men in their places. She commanded a great deal of respect and did wonders for women in the business, in addition to being the matriarch of one of the most prolific wrestling families. The thoughts of all of us here at 411mania go out to the family of Leah Maivia.

The Tip Jar
Your thoughts from last week

Wait a minute, Brother Bruti banged Nikki Zeiring? Are you kidding? Just last year he was doing coke in a token booth

Posted By: duke of dorchester (Guest) on October 19, 2008 at 05:25 AM

Dude, have you SEEN Nikki? She’s definitely sporting the $50 boogers.

That wasn’t from the show, that was a deliberate fake video they did for the workers.

Posted By: Mathew Sforcina (Registered) on October 19, 2008 at 05:25 AM

Really? Ah well, it’s still hilarious.

Good perspective on the Cade release.

Posted By: Angry Bear (Guest) on October 19, 2008 at 08:22 AM

From the looks of it, she’s that much of a whore. The rumour is she made sure nobody on the show got left out. I’d rather not think about Randle shagging, it’s bad enough we have to think about his writing.

Hmm, shorter column this week. Really, there just wasn’t much to cover. On the bright side we’ve got a PPV tonight with LIVE coverage starting at 8 and of course the Instant Analysis right after. Randle, Cook, Clark and JP are in tomorrow. Stay Cool, Rock Hard.

Lansdellicious – Out.