The Shimmy 09.27.08: The Hardy Report Card (Part Five)

2003 Royal Rumble Match (Royal Rumble 2003)

I’ve always been a big fan of this particular Royal Rumble Match. There is nonstop action throughout and there are absolutely no dead spots. I believe this is the first time Matt and Jeff had the opportunity to be in the ring with one another since Matt turned on Jeff back in August and they played off that fact here as the two brothers faced off. Shannon Moore even took a bullet for Matt as Jeff delivered a Swanton to the MFer. Jeff’s elimination in this match would actually lead to a very short lived heel run on Raw.

My Grade: A

Jeff Hardy vs. Chris Jericho (No Way Out 2003)

Jeff was substituting for Test, who was being punished for missing his flight to a Raw show in the weeks leading up to this show. Jericho’s real feud was with Shawn Michaels, and after WWE realized that Jeff as a heel wasn’t working they booked him as HBK’s protégé. Jeff would even team with Michaels in an at-the-time-rare Raw appearance for HBK as they took on Jericho and Christian in a No DQ Match. This match was much better than Jericho-Test probably would have been so I don’t think many people complained about the substitution. They did a great job at getting fans to bite on the nearfalls even though there was no way Hardy was winning. This is exactly what the opening match of a PPV should be, a fun, up-tempo match that gets the crowd into things. This would be Jeff’s last PPV match in WWE for six years as he’d be released shortly after this.

My Grade: A-

Cruiserweight Title Match: Billy Kidman© vs. Matt Hardy (No Way Out 2003)

Over on SmackDown Matt Hardy had set his sights on the Cruiserweight Title. Billy Kidman was the champion, well, just because so that put him up against Hardy. Hardy would have to “make weight” to compete for the belt and the weeks leading up to this saw Shannon Moore working with him to get him in shape. Kidman was rather overmatched here but they still had a fun match. Billy Kidman always seemed to deliver in the rare PPV appearances he was granted and this was no different. Matt Hardy would go on to be one of the more interesting Cruiserweight Champions in WWE history (although I understand that’s not saying too much).

My Grade: B+

Cruiserweight Title Match: Matt Hardy© vs. Rey Mysterio (WrestleMania XIX)

This is a match that is often overlooked because it’s relatively short, but if you look at it objectively it’s a pretty darn good match. And really for a midcard Cruiserweight Title Match it was silly for us to expect a particularly long match anyhow, especially when the World Tag Team Title Match got pumped to Heat. I think many people thought this would be Rey Mysterio’s big moment to win the title but it was the cheating heel that walked away with the title (this might sound familiar later in the column). These two would have two fantastic matches on SmackDown later in the summer where Rey would finally get his big win.

My Grade: B+

Bar Room Brawl: JBL vs. Ron Simmons vs. Matt Hardy vs. Shannon Moore vs. Brother Love vs. Sean O’Haire vs. John Morrison vs. Matt Cappotelli vs. Doug Basham vs. Danny Basham vs. Doink the Clown vs. Easter Bunny vs. Conquistador No. 1 vs. Conquistador No. 2 (Vengeance 2003)

Definitely a fun, yet weird, match. This was a special addition to SmackDown’s first ever brand exclusive PPV as the APA personally handed out invitations to this fight. The match is notable for the only PPV appearance of Matt Cappotelli (if you’re reading this I’m still pulling for you, Matt!) and I imagine the only PPV appearance of the Easter Bunny. IIRC, JBL won the match, as if there was any doubt.

My Grade: B

Matt Hardy vs. Zach Gowen (No Mercy 2003)

Aside from the win he needed to secure a job with WWE, the one legged wonder Zach Gowen had not won a match in WWE in his three months with the company. This match was actually supposed to happen at SummerSlam but Brock Lesnar destroyed his leg and then pushed his wheelchair down a flight of steps, so needless to say Zach couldn’t compete (For the record Matt got the victory at SummerSlam by forfeit, but I figured it didn’t need it’s own spot in the column). Somebody was going to have to be the first guy to job to Gowen and Matt Hardy was that guy. Not a shining moment in Hardy’s career, but I suppose it’s still better than being humped by Viscera during the Royal Rumble.

My Grade: C-

Matt Hardy vs. Maven (Armageddon 2003)

If this were a Larry Csonka column you would see a picture of squash here. A pissed off Batista destroyed Maven just before this and Matt picked the bones. Not much of an actual match.

My Grade: N/A

PPV in the Review: Bound for Glory IV