Cook’s Corner 10.27.08: Halloween Havoc

Gabe Sapolsky is out as ROH booker. He’s been with Ring of Honor since day one, working under Rob Feinstein until RF’s “problems” led to Cary Silkin purchasing the company and Gabe being instituted as the head writer. Gabe’s work has been pretty popular among the fanbase, and he’s won Wrestling Observer’s Best Booker award the last four years. So the question has to be asked…what happened?

What happened was that critical success doesn’t always equal monetary success. I won’t pretend to know ROH’s financial situation, but I can speak to what I see. I go to the Montgomery County Fairgrounds every time ROH runs a show there. I see the crowds that are there. They’re not smaller than they were…but they’re not bigger either. They’ve pretty much stayed the same size ever since I’ve started going there. I wasn’t a business major (God, I should have been), but I can tell you that if business remains stagnant, that’s not a good thing. You gotta bring in new people. From what I can tell, ROH hasn’t really been bringing in new fans lately. They’ve got a nice base. But they need to build on that.

It should also be noted that Gabe’s run was pretty long by booking standards. In Memphis, Jerry Lawler & Jerry Jarrett traded the position every six months whether they needed to or not. Bill Watts always changed bookers in his promotion on a fairly regular basis. You gotta have fresh ideas in order to keep business running. I’m not going to deny the fact that Gabe has a mind for the business, but odds are that he was running out of ideas.

Also, word is that the talent had a lot of say in their angles. So one would assume that with Gabe gone, that wouldn’t change everything. While some ROH fans are saying that the apocalypse is upon us, I choose to remain optimistic. Most wrestling promotions have had more than one booker during their existence. Just because ROH is changing theirs doesn’t mean that they’re going out of business.

OK?

Glad we cleared that up.

Editor’s Note: Word has it that Adam Pearce will be taking the position of booker. I have no opinion on Pearce’s work as a booker because I haven’t seen it, but I do enjoy his work in front of the camera.

Would you like some other Random Thoughts? Good, because I’ve got some…

So I’ve been watching Smart Mark Video’s Best of Necro Butcher, and I’ve arrived at the following conclusion…deathmatches make me ill. This is a new thing…back in the day I could watch a IWA Mid-South KODTM or a CZW Ultraviolent tournament and not bat an eye. But now…seeing stuff ooze out of somebody’s arm makes me queasy. Why is that? Am I getting old? It’s too bad too, because Necro’s one of my favorite current wrestlers and I was looking forward to seeing some of his old stuff. Unfortunately, I’m not sure I can get through Volume 2. We’ll see how it goes.

Cyber Sunday was last night. Did I watch it? hahahahahahahahahahaha

Despite my intentions, I’m actually enjoying Hulk Hogan’s Celebrity Championship Wrestling. And how come nobody told me about this Dallas Cowboy cheerleader show? They’re in their third season and I didn’t know about it until two weeks ago. Whasupwitdat? Anyway, this Hogan show ain’t too bad. You should check it out, or at least read my recap. It’s the future of wrestling, dangnab it!

I shaved my goatee last night. It feels weird not having hair around my mouth. That doesn’t sound right. I usually like to have some facial hair because it helps cover up my face, which isn’t one of my top selling points. What are my top selling points? I would say loyalty & my butt.

This could only happen to me…

I was at the magazine stand at Kroger reading when a girl walked by, smiled at me, and started reading something else. Tall, red hair, long legs, a pretty face, she was reading Rolling Stone…it would have been perfect except for one thing. I was reading Pro Wrestling Illustrated.

This would be bad enough on its own, but it wasn’t just any Pro Wrestling Illustrated. No, it was the PWI 50, which rates the top 50 women wrestlers in the United States. Yeah, nothing like trying to approach a girl when you’re reading that. If I was more smooth I would have cast that aside and pulled out a Wall Street Journal or something, but instead I slinked off towards the battery section because I needed AA batteries, with nothing accomplished in the ol’ romance department.

The moral of this story? I don’t know, when I think of one I’ll let you know.

My left eyelid has bothering me for the past month now. My doctor told me that I had a chalazion on it and prescribed me some medication. It was helping for the first few days or so, but it’s pretty much remained the same since. It doesn’t hurt as much as it did, but it doesn’t look any better. I hope it’s nothing serious, but this phrase on eMedicineHealth concerns me:

The lump is rarely associated with an infection or a form of skin cancer.

As Carl Lewis would say, uh oh. And the prospect of surgery being done on my eyelid does not make me feel very good. I think I’ll go lie down now.

Why does it qualify as news when Atlas Security works an event? Just saying, I know they worked for ECW back in the day, but do other security companies make the news wire?

I was reading Short’s column yesterday and noticed that Rick Fuller was teaming with Giant Bernard in a tag team tournament. Rick Fuller still wrestles? What, Road Block wasn’t available?

The 2008 Cincinnati Bengals: EPIC FAIL~!

“It’s nice to see them using Traci.”

thats all you have to say about traci? really? what happened to the good ol days when she got at least a paragraph, if not more? – Manu Bumb

You know, that’s a darn good question from 411’s chief question-asker. I haven’t been doing nearly enough fawning over Traci lately. So perhaps I should get back to doing that…but I’m going to need some help from TNA. TNA, I didn’t see my girl on last week’s Impact. That’s unacceptable. You need to put her back on this week…or heads are gonna roll. Don’t think I can’t make that happen. You know what to do.

Four Questions With…

It’s been awhile since I’ve had the Penguin in the column, so why not this week?

So what’s your take on the Hogan show? I figure you’d be all over that, being a Hulkamaniac and all

Penguin: It’s…It’s….well if it wasn’t for the fact that Bonaduce should have been a heel pro wrestler, the whole show would be completely worthless.

How can you say that with Trishelle on the show? She will bear my children one day.

Penguin: I’m not saying I wouldn’t take a bronco buster from the girl…but really the whole thing is pretty dumb. And your recap could be alot better too. There wasn’t enough humor.

In my defense, the last two weeks I’ve been in a rush because Louisville has played at 3:30. This gives me about a half hour after the show to write the recap. Given that, I think I’ve done a pretty darn good job.

Penguin: I think you should incorporate more humor into it

This is probably true. What’s your opinion on the death of Sports Entertainment?

Penguin: My uncle and I had a laugh about it, and we figure if he pulls it off the stock might even go up. Anyone who looks into it anymore than that just has too much freaking time on their hands

I would say it goes without saying that wrestling fans have too much time on their hands.

Penguin: I suppose that is probably right. But who really gives a damn what they call themselves? They could be referred to as dancing lima beans, and as long as it’s entertaining I’ll watch. If it stops entertaining me, I’ll stop.

I’d love to hear JR talk about the dancing lima beans in the ring. Bah gawd.

Penguin: Boomer Sooner

So did you vote for Cyber Sunday, or did you stay at home like most of America does during elections?

Penguin: I can’t afford no damn 99 cents to vote for a damn wrestling pay per view.

Pfft, you with the three degrees? You’re probably smoking a hundred dollar bill as we speak.

Penguin: You are shitting me right?

Of course. Do you have any advice for my fantasy basketball draft that starts in 2 minutes?

Penguin: Basketball already?

I know, it’s insane.

Penguin: Let’s see. What pick are you?

3rd

Penguin: Dirk!

Top 5 are listed as CP3, Kobe, Amare, LeBron & Dirk. I’m hoping for LeBron. Kobe’s old, Amare’s always hurt.

Penguin: CP3 could be a good pick, and LeBron is always fun. But you know I’m partial to the dirk da dirk.

You do like your Mavericks. I went with LeBron.

Penguin: boo. Am I still being interviewed or can I go make dinner now?

One last question! When Barack Obama gets elected, will you move back to the Arctic Circle and go home to your igloo with your fellow penguins?

Penguin: When Obama gets elected I’m just gonna quit working and go on wellfare. I figure since he’s gonna tax the shit out of the working class to give money to the lazy and poor, it’s time for me to become lazy and poor.

Sounds good to me! Have a nice dinner.

Penguin: Later dude. Later loyal readers!

The Penguin, ladies and gentlemen! You can catch him over at the 411 Fan Forums, where last I saw he actually had his own forum. I post there every once in awhile to the shock and amazement of all.