wrestling / Columns

The Shimmy 11.03.08: The (Matt) Hardy Report Card (Part Six)

November 3, 2008 | Posted by Andy Clark

2004 Royal Rumble (Royal Rumble 2004)

Matt was a pretty nice addition to what was a fairly star studded Rumble Match. Unfortunately this would be one of the last things of merit Matt would do for some time as he’d get stuck with the always successful losing streak gimmick shortly after this. Things probably wouldn’t have been so bad had things gone according to plan with Matt finally getting his big win over Mark Henry at WrestleMania XX (which would have been interesting since both men were heels) but when Henry went down with an injury Matt just kept on losing until the summer.

My Grade: A+

No DQ Match: Matt Hardy vs. Kane (Vengeance 2004)

And here is the feud that sparked the beginning of the end of Matt Hardy’s first tenure with WWE. Matt finally turned face again after having to save his ex-girlfriend Lita from Kane and those two wacky kids started dating onscreen again. This actually resulted in a fairly high profile feud with a former WWE Champion, and Matt even got to score the upset victory in what was a fun little No DQ Match. This was definitely the biggest win of Matt Hardy’s short tenure on the Raw roster in 2004.

My Grade: B

Till Death Do Us Part Match: Matt Hardy vs. Kane (SummerSlam 2004)

After Vengeance Kane kept kicking the crap out of Matt at every turn so in order to save her man Lita agreed to sleep with Kane. Unfortunately the Big Red Machine must not have worn his Big Red Condom because Lita got knocked up, potentially throwing off her engagement to Matt Hardy. After being pissed for a while Matt decided he still wanted to marry Lita, but for some reason the dumb bitch agreed to marry the winner of the Matt-Kane SummerSlam match. One top rope chokeslam later and Lita and Kane were getting’ hitched and Matt Hardy was out with an injured knee.

Of course this set up a bizarre chain of events in both kayfabe and in real life. As part of the story Lita unwillingly entered into marriage with Kane (in a wedding with a badass strings version of Kane’s theme song) and sabotaged all his matches until the two bonded after Gene Snitsky (allegedly) killed their unborn baby. In fact the loss of his extortion-created demon baby caused Kane to turn face and he and Lita were a pretty formidable duo for a while. But then the chants started.

My Grade: B-

Matt Hardy vs. Edge (SummerSlam 2005)

You see in real life, with Matt Hardy on the shelf Lita started traveling with Matt’s good buddy Edge. First they shared transportation, then they shared bodily fluids. Matt went public with his anger about their relationship, turning the WWE fans against Lita. In having to choose between Edge and Matt WWE chose to fired Matt while he was still out injured. But by then the damage had already been done. On TV Lita turned on Kane and aligned herself with Edge. Edge and Kane feuded for a while but chants of “We Want Matt” echoed in the arenas. Eventually WWE decided to offer Matt Hardy is old job back to bank on the Matt-Edge drama. Matt Hardy returned and, after expressing his desire to see Edge die in a car wreck, had this match at SummerSlam. It was heated, it was stiff…and it ended when Edge kicked Matt’s head in so badly that the ref had to stop the match. Yeah, stellar booking there guys. I contemplated giving this match a D+ but a D just seemed too harsh. Consider this a C triple minus.

My Grade: C-

Steel Cage Match: Matt Hardy vs. Edge (Unforgiven 2005)

Although from something bad we did indeed get something awesome. Now THIS was what people wanted to see, and I’m not just saying that because Matt won. The match was awesome and bloody and really came off like a big deal. This definitely blew the Cena-Angle main event with a DQ finish out of the water. This was my No. 10 best WWE match of 2005.

My Grade: A+

Matt Hardy & Rey Mysterio vs. Chris Masters & Snitsky (Taboo Tuesday 2005)

Edge would get his win back in the Loser Leave Raw Money in the Bank Ladder Match at WWE Homecoming, so Matt ended up on SmackDown just in time for the Raw-SmackDown war. Raw was putting forth the team of Edge & Chris Masters to compete against the top two vote getters among Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio, JBL, Christian, and Hardcore Holly. WWE had been pushing for Mysterio & JBL to get the nod but Matt got picked instead, probably largely due to the appeal of he and Edge hooking up again. Edge was injured though so at the last minute they bait and switched with Snitsky taking his place. Even with the switcheroo the match is a good one. A lot of people might get turned off by the perceived clash in styles but this was a really fun match, one of the unsung gems of the Taboo Tuesday/Cyber Sunday shows. Shortly after this match Matt would become the first person to defeat Mr. Kennedy and looked to have a Survivor Series match lined up with him until Kennedy suffered his first WWE injury, preventing Matt from yet another Big Four PPV payday.

My Grade: B+

Matt Hardy vs. JBL (Armageddon 2005)

I found this match online and watched it just for you. It’s not bad although it is pretty short. This is one of those post-Edge pre-Jeff matches where WWE knew they need to give Matt something because he’s over but didn’t want to put him in anything too meaningful. In many ways this is a less bloody version of the Edge SummerSlam match, just without as much hype built into it. There is a scary spot where Matt’s head is caught in the ropes for an extended period of time, something I hope was not intentional. And so this wraps up 2005 for Matt Hardy.

My Grade: C+

PPV in Review: Cyber Sunday

  • The Preview Match on WWE.com was actually pretty entertaining. That’s the best R-Truth has looked since coming back to WWE and it makes me eagerly await their match on SmackDown next week. I wish this had been part of the mains how.
  • Rey vs. Kane was fine, better than their match last month I thought, and I enjoyed that one. I seem to be the only person enjoying this feud, but I like the matchup more than the story considering the story has pretty much been dropped. I wouldn’t be surprised to see these two across from each other during a Survivor Series Elimination Match in a few weeks.
  • I was pleasantly surprised to see Miz & Morrison vs. Cryme Tyme getting the nod over the World Tag Team Title Match. It probably worked out for the best as both these tag teams got some good exposure and the title match got more time the next night on Raw. Unfortunately the match didn’t live up to the high expectations set from their match on Raw a few weeks ago but I’m still pleased to have seen the blowoff for this feud making it to PPV.
  • Santino vs. the Honky Donkey Man was what it was. I don’t think anybody was expecting much more than comedy. I’m just happy HTM got the win as I though Piper was a sure thing here.
  • For the second PPV in a row Undertaker and Big Show have delivered. Once again WWE didn’t get bogged down in the usual big man pacing guide and just let these two guys clobber each other. I’ve got to say the TV build for this feud has been incredibly boring but the PPV matches have been worth it. We finally get out first really good Last Man Standing Match of the year and boy am I glad the fans followed through with that stip. Good to see the return of the That Hold in Undertaker matches since he doesn’t have a title to be stripped and is obviously not going to be suspended.
  • Triple H and Jeff Hardy was not what I wanted to see. It should have been the Triple Threat Match, but instead the fans went ahead and made Jeff lose clean as a freaking whistle. At least losing in the Triple Threat wouldn’t have stung as much as this did. I didn’t buy any of the nearfalls in this match and neither did the live crowd. There have been some matches this year that Jeff has looked great in a losing effort (Elimination Chamber, most of the Championship Scramble, No Mercy) but this goes up there with the Orton match where he didn’t. In fact the story of the match was even comparable, where he just kept doing stupid shit until his opponent got wise and beat him. Here’s hoping a Royal Rumble victory is in his future because a high profile win like that could help erase some of the damage done to his title perception here.
  • Jericho vs. Batista started off pretty awkwardly but they eventually built to a good match. All the run ins at the end were a lot of fun and it definitely illustrates the point about how a finish like that can work when you don’t try it three times in one card like TNA does. I was a bit surprised to see Batista get the win but I’m intrigued to see where this goes. A date with Cena no doubt looms, the question is when?

    Andy Enjoyment Index: Cyber Sunday

    1) Matt Hardy-Evan Bourne
    2) Undertaker-Big Show
    3) Chris Jericho-Batista
    4) Rey Mysterio-Kane
    5) Shelton Benjamin-R-Truth
    6) Triple H-Jeff Hardy
    7) John Morrison & The Miz-Cryme Tyme
    8) Santino Marella-Honky Tonk Man
    ————————————————————————–

    The Shimmy Likes it Raw!

    What’s on tap for tonight’s BIG show?

  • It’s the 800th Episode Celebration! Note it’s just the celebration because we had the real 800th episode some time ago (I believe that was the show Lance Cade pinned Shawn Michaels. Maybe that’s why they get the mulligan).
  • World Heavyweight Title, Steel Cage Match: Batista© vs. Chris Jericho; A World Title has never changed hands in a Steel Cage in WWE, I don’t forsee that happening tonight, although it could be a very good match.
  • DX vs. John Morrison & The Miz; M’n’M don’t stand a chance but this could be a lot of fun. Who knows, maybe JBL or Vladimir Kozlov interferes to give the Dirt Sheet hosts a huge win.
  • Shane & Stephanie McMahon appear to answer Randy Orton’s ultimatum: either Adamle goes or Orton goes. If I had to guess the McMahon children will inform Randy of his contractual obligations (although I’m sure he could care less about that, ask the US Government) and book him into a match at Survivor Series instead. And perhaps the return of Vinnie Mac for the 800th episode celebration?
  • On the eve of the Presidential election might we see Barrack Haasein Obama make an appearance on tonight’s show?
  • Of course WWE puts on a big three hour show the night the Steelers have a huge game against the Redskins on Monday Night Football. This game serves two purposes, get the Stillers a win and shut up the Skins fans around here. Three purposes if you count showing Antwan Randle El he made a big mistake leaving.
  • As if that wasn’t enough One Tree Hill has a very interesting episode lined up as Lucas struggles to write the screenplay for “An Unkindness of Ravens.” If you need any help their Luke I’d be happy to lend a hand.

    Well that does it for this week’s column. Next week sees the return of Jeff Hardy to a WWE ring. Until then, vote Obama. Clark…out.

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