The MeeThinks Friday FreeThinks 11.21.08

Welcome back, all! And thanks for tuning in for your regularly scheduled week-end dose of intrawebz ‘rasslin optimism. This week’s column will be a bit of a departure from our usual format, as the recent economoic crisis has forced wrestling companies across the country to consider trimming the fat wherever possible. And no, this doesn’t mean that they’ll be asking Umaga to drop a few pounds — we’re talking roster cuts, people. And likely a good number of ’em before all’s said and done. As such, this week’s news report will pretty much be a survey of the existing rosters from each of sports entertainment’s four major television programs (WWE RAW, WWE ECW on SciFi, TNA iMPACT!, and WWE Smackdown!). More to the point, we’ll be taking a look at those “on the bubble” performers who rank pretty high on the job-in-jeopardy scale, and may very well be wished the best in their “future endeavors” as they begin looking for employment elsewhere in the very near future.

So let’s get to it:

In this feature, we’ll make a quick note of those mini-news story items that have either already been covered in greater detail by other writers, or that haven’t quite yet materialized into full-blown mega stories of their own. In either case, these items seem to warrant a brief mention nonetheless so that we can keep better tabs on what all’s developing (and — in theory — end up with a better perspective in the long run) along the way.

The Doghouse: Performers who’ve landed in hot water over the past week.
None

Notes: Perhaps in response to the slumping economy or TNA and WWE’s increasingly pro-active cost-cutting measures, performers seem to have been on best behavior this week, and there are no major backstage scuffles to report.

The Debuts: New and/or newly returning performers of the past week.
DJ Gabriel (ECW) – a.k.a. “The British Babe” Steve Lewington
Alicia Fox (ECW) – DJ Gabriel’s valet, best known as Edge & Vickie’s “wedding planner.”
Sal Rinauro (ECW) – RoH veteran and Full Impact Pro performer making a one-time appearance.

Notes: Rinauro’s appearance on this week’s ECW was a one-time deal, as the former member of The Embassy is not believed to have signed a WWE contract.

DJ Gabriel is British wrestler Steve Lewington, who has been performing through WWE’s developmental ranks for several years now, using the “British Babe” gimmick. His valet, Alicia Fox, was first (and last) seen on WWE television this summer, when she played the role of adulterous wedding planner in the storyline involving Vickie Guerrero and Edge.

The Departures: Obituaries and/or performers whose contracts have ended this week.
Armando Estrada (WWE) – Released from his WWE contract on Wednesday morning.

Notes: Estrada’s release is covered in complete detail below.

The Drama: Developing scandals and/or budding backstage rumors.
WWE to Cut $20m from Operating Budget (WWE) – Wrestling giant promises cost-cutting measures in face of slumping economy.
TNA Considers Roster Cuts (TNA) Upstart promotion looks to scale back spending to curb poor economy.

Notes: Both WWE and TNA’s latest (and perhaps next) cost-cutting measures are covered in complete detail below.

The Disabled List: Performers who’ve gone down to injury or suspension in the past week.
Matt Hardy (ECW) – Working through a hyperextended knee and a pulled groin.

Notes: ECW Champion Matt Hardy has been really banged up over the past two weeks, as the WWE mainstay is currently performing in spite of a pulled groin and a new injury to his surgically repaired knee. With the ECW roster being incredibly thin to begin with (and with fellow rising ECW star Evan Bourne likewise out to injury), Hardy’s injury seems to have come at the most inopportune time — both for himself and for the ECW brand. As of this writing, Hardy is attempting to work through *both* of these injuries, but he may well be risking further injury by doing so. Thankfully, his weekend in-ring activity will be limited, as ECW is currently without a number one contender for the brand’s Championship, and he will be taking part in an elimination-style match at the Survivor Series pay-per-view this Sunday.

WWE.com Announces Intent to Cut $20 Million from Company Spending
Economic Slump Means More Roster Cuts Are Likely

Last week, WWE began their “fall housecleaning” budget cutting measures by issuing/granting releases to a half dozen performers (Paul London, Chuck Palumbo, Super Crazy, Kenny Dykstra, Elijah Burke, Lena YAda). This week, the belt-tightening continued, as it was announced that WWE referees — who had previously been assigned exclusively to one of the company’s three brands apiece — would now be touring with the ENTIRE three-brand, televised roster on a rotating basis (on one week, off the next), so as to cut down on travel and lodging costs company-wide. And not surprisingly, internal murmurings continued regarding another round of roster cuts that was likely in the works before the close of the calendar year. Since we’re not exactly sure who all will be next in line to go, MeeThinks now is probably as a good a time as any to take a quick look at those “on the bubble” performers currently contracted to one of WWE’s three main rosters. Obviously WWE will not be cutting *all* of them, mind you — but for the reasons outlined below, it’s probably a fair bet to say that wrestling fans should not be surprised to see at least a few of these names turn up in the “wished well in their future endeavors” list in the very near future.

Here goes nothing:

WWE’s flagship show is also home to their highest-profile stars and the company’s largest roster. As a result, there are a good number of contracted performers on the red brand who don’t often make it to weekly television. And from a simple “cutting travel costs” perspective alone, losing two or three of these glorified “extras” could easily save the company several thousands of dollars each week.

Mike Adamle – On the bright side, we can honestly say that Adamle’s WWE tenure lasted a heckuvalot longer than any sane fan would have ever expected. But on the flip side, an onscreen “resignation” from WWE programming doesn’t usually translate to a lengthy tenure with the company once the cameras stop rolling. So leave the memories alone, Mike Adamle fans — his release seems imminent.

Deuce – Who woulda’ thought that Deuce’s career highlight would be his stint playing a 50s throwback greaser as one half of the Smackdown tag team champions? Since moving to RAW Deuce has done absolutely zero. And since his former running buddies in Domino and Cherry both received their walking (or is that “roller-skating?”) papers over the past calendar year, conventional wisdom says that WWE will be dropping [the] Deuce sooner than later.

D-Lo Brown – Though D-Lo was just recently rehired by WWE, in times of economic hardship, there’s an old saying that the “last hired is the first fired.” Even at the Intercontinental level, it’s hard to think that he’ll ever be given a title run again. And if WWE is looking to save a buck or two, canning a glorified “enhancement talent” who can always be rehired on down the road seems like a smart move.

Dolph Ziggler – Ziggler proved once already that he was nothing more than a walking Wellness violation just waiting to happen. HBK totally called out his one-dimensional gimmick on this week’s RAW, and there seems to be absolutely no plans to inject this jabroni into a televised feud any time in the near future. The rest of his Spirit Squad buddies have already been canned, and MeeThinks this final piece to the big green puzzle will soon be joining them back where he (and the gimmick) belongs — at a high school gymnasium near you.

Katie Lea Burchill – For as unfair as it may be, the Diva Search has pretty much rendered all but a few female performers (i.e. – Mickie James, Beth Phoenix, and Candice Michelle) to be just about as expendable as they come. Repackaging divas hasn’t ever been the company’s strong suit, and so if Paul Burchill’s WWE tenure is soon drawing to a close? MeeThinks his onscreen “sister” Katie Lea will likely be receiving her walking papers while they’re at it.

Paul Burchill – Burchill’s career has been stuck in a rut for months. While the guy is actually quite talented in the ring, he’s struggled to rediscover his voice behind the microphone pretty much from the moment he showed up on RAW (compare the clunky and directionless Birchill of today to the goofy charisma shown by “Pirate Paul” of yesteryear). Much like D-Lo Brown, he’s a good hand and a smart rehire on down the road. But for now? He’s going nowhere fast, save maybe the unemployment line.

Hardcore Holly – Bob Holly is a WWE lifer and a throwback to another age. Unfortunately, that leaves him sticking out like a sore thumb in the current landscape of the WWE product, where everything new is prized and everything old is… um, old again. His recent trip through WWE-sponsored rehab could easily be seen as the company’s parting gift in return for his many years of service. And given his longstanding tenure with the company and deep-seated commitment to the “tradition” involved in bringing up new wrestlers, I would not be surprised in the least to see him brought on as an Arn Anderson-type road agent in the future.

Jamie Noble – Not every cut is a popular one, and if you think the internet types got all in a huff when Elijah Burke got released, just WAIT until we hear the reaction when the expense-cutting axe lands firmly on the neck of one Jamie Noble. Though he’s as talented as they come (and rumored to be good buddies with Triple H and HBK, which could definitely work in his favor), the bottom line is that Noble has been buried so much on WWE television that he’s basically RAW’s answer to Kung Fu Funaki — a low-to-midcard comedy act with zero chance of moving up the card. For as good as Noble is, he’s nowhere near a meaningful feud or a title hunt (what happened to William Regal!?), and that can spell absolute doom when tightening the corporate belt.

Snitsky – How big Gene lasted this long in the ‘E I’ll never know. He was hired at a time when WWE was looking for “naturally big guys” in order to offset the ever-shrinking muscle mass of the rest of their roster (YAY WELLNESS!), but he is terribly limited in the ring and hasn’t had a noteworthy victory to his credit since his ECW repackaging. If RAW’s other “monsters” in Kane and Mike Knox are keeping their jobs, then MeeThinks Snitsky is in line for a pink slip.

Val Venis – In Chris Jericho’s autobiography (which is a FANTASTIC read, by the
way), he reiterates an old wrestling maxim along the lines of “If you’re just a great worker, then you’ll probably have a job for life. Unfortunately, you’re probably going to be DOING the j-o-b for life, too.” Such is the case of Val Venis, who has survived *countless* WWE housecleanings time and time again (can you believe he’s been employed by WWE for TEN WHOLE YEARS RUNNING?). But if WWE is looking to save a few bucks, moving Val from “onscreen performer” salary to “backstage developmental trainer” status might mean the end of The Big Valbowski on WWE television.

Though the ECW roster is WWE’s smallest (currently, it boasts just about a dozen active performers), it is also the most fluid of the three brands — as new talents come in and out of this slightly-overgrown “developmental territory” on an extremely regular basis. As such, sitting out of action for more than a few weeks’ time can be disastrous for an ECW superstar’s momentum — which means that the performers listed below might wanna’ start preparing their resumes, just in case:

Armando Estrada – Estrada was the first to go in the latest round of layoffs part deux, which shouldn’t come as a surprise to just about anyone who’s been following the ECW brand over the past 11 months. Though he made for a passable heel authority figure, Armando wasn’t anywhere near relevant since Colin Delaney (wow, THERE’s a blast from the past) was a fixture on Tuesday night television. Once Teddy Long showed up, it was pretty much adios Estrada. He’s strong on the mic and solid as a manager, but offered little else in terms of in-ring ability. In this day and age when the manager is even more of a lost art than the tag team, Estrada simply isn’t much of a loss.

Bam Neely – Easily the single worst bodyguard in WWE history, Neely brings absolutely nothing to the ECW roster. Try as he might, Chavito will never be Eddie Guerrero, and no amount of thuggish heel stabledom or menacing bodyguardery can hide the fact that fans really can’t ever seem to give a crap about the poor bastard. If WWE wants to save some coin, Neely is as expendable as they come.

Gavin Spears – Yes, he’s still employed. But when fellow rookies from ECW’s “new superstar initiative” are receiving scads of television time at this dude’s expense (see: Bourne, Evan; Ortiz, Ricky; Swagger, Jack), I’ve gotta’ believe that Spears will be among the first of the “newest new breed” crop to get the axe.

Kevin Thorne – Mordecai a.k.a. Kevin the Vampire’s WWE career has been a story of on again, off again. With two failed gimmicks to his credit and a boatload of new stars scoring valuable television time that used to be saved for Thorne, it seems only a matter of time before the WWE brass loses their patience with this guy and cuts their losses. He may not be the first to go, but I really can’t see him being the last to stay.

Say what you will about Triple H “THE BARBERRIORRR!!” glomming away valuable television time from up-and-coming talent, but believe it or not, Smackdown! is probably the safest of the three WWE brands when it comes to the latest round of layoffs. Still, there are a few guys who might find themselves looking for work elsewhere once WWE’s fall cleaning is in the books:

Ryan Braddock – Hate to offend any diehard Ryan Braddock fans out there (both of you), but this guy has generic midcard stink ALL OVER him. Without a noteworthy feud to his credit or so much as a single televised victory on his resume, MeeThinks the only thing saving this young superstar is that WWE’s creative staff may not quite yet feel justified in cutting a guy who’s still so new to the company. But then again, conspiracy theorists have long speculated that Braddock was only called up to the main roster in order to expose the fact that he really never had much to offer to begin with… and so a WWE release wouldn’t exactly be out of the question.

Scotty Goldman – Gotta’ feel for poor old Colt Cabana, who’s pretty much become the Invisible Man of the WWE Universe since his inauspicious Smackdown! debut a little over three months ago. While the blue brand is short on comedy characters, WWE’s creative staff seems less concerned with fitting in new sideshow jokers (save Kizarny, of cizourse), and more intent on giving a lighthearted overhaul to their established lugs in Festus, Funaki, and The Great Khali. This pretty much leaves Goldman on the outside looking in, which is a bad place to be when your employer is looking to scale back their expenditures.

Curt Hawkins & Zack Ryder – Ryder and Hawkins have done nothing to distinguish themselves since being so unceremoniously dismissed by The Rated R Superstar late this summer. A fluke run as Smackdown!’s tag champs did little to help their staying power, and so MeeThinks one or both of them could easily be headed for “future endeavors” shortly after Edge — who no longer needs La Familia or their lackeydom — makes his WWE return.

DH Smith – If WWE were serious about Smith, then he would have been buddied up
with the rest of the legacy stars in the next-gen stable over on RAW. Since he wasn’t, and since he’s already failed one Wellness test to date, MeeThinks his WWE tenure isn’t looking to be a long one. He’s young, and comes with a famous last name that’ll help him find work and hone his craft elsewhere — so cutting him here would hardly kill his career.

Jimmy Wang Yang – The once-mighty Cruiserweight division is all but vanished from the landscape of the WWE Universe (shudder), and so guys like Jimmy Wang Yang are left to play the role of “man without a country” — err, title belt. With The Hurricane coming back to action and Funaki likewise filling the blue brand’s resident lightweight comedy act quota, the self-professed redneck might well be moseying on down the trail to greener pastures.

TNA Considering Roster Cuts
Poor Economy Could Result in Undercard Layoffs

Rumors have always swirled around the TNA locker room that undercard layoffs could come at any time. Recently, however, it appears that these rumors have been even more fast and furious than ever before. And in the face of the economic recession, it’s no surprise that talk of layoffs has dominated much of the backstage discussion in this upstart promotion. So let’s take a look at who might just be on the TNA firing bubble:

The effects of the slumping economy are being felt the wrestling world over, and TNA is certainly not immune to this unfortunate phenomenon. With money tight and upwards of 50 contracted talents currently on the company’s roster, expect at least a few of these names to be released in short order.

Cute Kip – This cut is more of a “wish” than a reality, but the bottom line is that The Beautiful People’s “personal stylist” in Kip James (a.k.a. “Cute Kip,” which sounds like “Q-Tip” GET IT!? HAR HAR HAR) could (should?) find himself out of a job in TNA at any time. The Beautiful People duo is no more over today than they were without Kip by their side, and fans are either gonna’ love these ladies or hate them REGARDLESS of whatever toolbag is prancing around alongside of them. He needs The Beautiful People a whole lot more than they need him, and if I’m putting a critical eye on the TNA roster? I’d can this waste of talent in a heartbeat.

Karen Angle – This one is more of a formality, really. But despite having left TNA programming several weeks ago, Karen Angle is still featured on the company website and (presumably) on their short-list of “cameo appearance” performers (ala Scott Hall). TNA is wasting web space dedicating a profile Karen’s way, and if they’re still paying her royalties for the continued use of her name and likeness? Then they’re wasting money here, too. Expect Karen to be removed from the TNA website in short order.

Christian Cage – Christian has already been written out of TNA storylines, and is reportedly mulling a return to World Wrestling Entertainment (as was mentioned on last week’s iMPACT! broadcast). He’s also one of the higher paid stars on the TNA payroll, and so chances are good that if he’s already looking to find work elsewhere, TNA isn’t going to break the bank to keep him onboard.

Homicide – TNA has been keen on splitting up LAX for months now, and with the booking committee particularly high on the team’s big man, all signs point to Hernandez as being the chosen half of the tandem with the better shot at becoming a singles’ star in the TNA ranks. Not saying it’s right, mind you — just saying it is. As a result, the uber-talented Homicide could find himself out of a job sooner than later — but he’s tremendously talented, and not the type to stay unemployed for long.

Jimmy Rave & Lance Rock – Word has it that TNA has been looking to launch Christy Hemme into singles babyface stardom in the near future, and so I’ve gotta’ believe that her current duo of running buddies in Jimmy Rave and Lance Hoyt Rock probably aren’t in the company’s long-term plans. Hoyt’s been a company man and boasts the longer tenure, so he’s likely to keep his job at least a little while longer. But that said, either seems expendable at this stage of the game.

Petey Williams – I should start by saying that this is a cut that I would *not* like to see made. That said, Petey (who’s technically still a heel) has been all but written out of TNA storylines at the hands of one massive beating from Scott Steiner, and I can’t help but wonder where Maple Leaf Muscle can reasonably go from here. After pretty much selling out his entire persona in order to become little more than a Big Poppa Pump clone, Petey reeks of damaged goods, and so fans have little reason to get behind the current incarnation of this former X Division champ. If TNA tweaks their “TNA Originals” stable to include Christopher Daniels and Petey Williams, then he’s a keeper. If not? He’s no more than an afterthought.

Rhaka Khan – Awesome Kong already has Raisha Saeed to do the talking for her, and the Knockouts Champion is certainly more than capable of providing enough ass-kickings of her own in order to back up her valet’s big talk. As a result, I can’t see a “hired gun” like Rhaka Khan lasting too much longer on the TNA roster. Besides, she kinda — well, you know — sucks.

Rhino – Rhino is to TNA what Tommy Dreamer is to World Wrestling Entertainment — an old pro who knows his role, but can still garner a moderate nostalgia pop. Win, lose or draw, fans haven’t been given too much reason to care about The War Machine in just about any of his feuds since dropping the TNA World Title some three years back. His career since then has pretty much been a case of “spin wheels, cut angry promo, GORE!, rinse and repeat,” and word has it that his TNA contract is set to expire in the coming months. For as loyal as he’s been to TNA over the past several years, Rhino is no loss to the company at this stage of his career.

Shark Boy – Sharkie is a tough cut to make, but one that I think would make for a better overall TNA product in the long run. “Super Eric” has been phased out, and TNA fans are just dying to see Curry Man give way to Christopher Daniels. With both of his slapstick sidekicks due or destined for bigger things and more serious roles, perhaps now is as good a time as any to put Shark Boy on sabbatical and save some coin in the process.

And With That, I’m Outta’ Here

That does it for Mee this week. Thanks again for reading, and enjoy Survivor Series this Sunday. If the economy’s got you down and you can’t quite afford the PPV’s price tag (but if you’ve still got the proverbial “wrestling bug” in your system), I’d suggest picking up a copy of this year’s Smackdown vs. RAW 2009 video game (rentals are hella cheap, you know) — as it’s an absolute blast. Or if you’re the reading type, head on over to your local library or book store (no need to purchase a title when you can read it in the aisles 😉 and leaf through Bret Hart’s “Hitman: My Real Life in the Cartoon World of Wrestling” autobiography, which I’ve also managed to get my hands on this week. Honest and insightful (and at times, even more revealing and self aware than it attempts to be), it is a great, great read. ‘Till next week, have a good one, and always stay positive!

– Meehan