wrestling / Columns

Lansdell’s Sunday Brunch News Report 11.23.08

November 23, 2008 | Posted by Chris Lansdell

Greetings, humanity! Welcome to Lansdell’s Sunday Brunch, where we return to normality with me, Chris Lansdell. Many thanks to my erstwhile nemesis Jarrod Westerfeld for the fill-in last week, I hope he treated you well. Where was I? In France, drinking excessive amounts of calvados, red wine and cider. Not together. I had no internet, no cable and consequently, no wrestling. As much as I love this stuff, everyone needs to recharge from time to time. However, it has also left me rant-less. Therefore we shall go straight to the…

BANNER!

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The Spread~!

link WWE cutting costs!

link TNA and New Japan working together

link The Week in Links!

link RoH expanding again!

link Random Video Interlude!

link Survivor Series Preview!

link Espresso Shots!

link The return of Captain Charisma?

link The Tip Jar!

WWE Goes Emo
Cuts everywhere as the world’s biggest wrestling company tries to adapt to the economy…but are they doing the right things?

If there’s one thing I’m tired of hearing about, it’s the world economy and the crisis that everyone is in. Nobody has any money. Nobody can afford anything. Woe is the world. It was inevitable therefore that a company like WWE, which depends on people spending money to see them live or buy their merchandise, would feel the pinch. Unlike some people who choose to bury their heads in the sand and wait for it all to go away, WWE has taken some steps to cut costs and recoup some of the dramatic losses they have faced this year.

The most obvious way to cut costs, and the most visible, is to reduce the roster. This week Armando Estrada was the latest addition to the list of people looking for some future endeavours in which they could get the best, a list that has several names on it this year so far and likely has more to come. However, nobody who was released was being used and therefore they would all have been making their downside guarantee. It’s going to take a lot of cuts of that nature to make an impact on your bottom line. It’s also not wise to release all your young talent (which they have so far avoided) because at some point you’re going to need them to replace the older guys.

News also surfaced of a new policy with regards to referees. Available refs would be split into groups, and only one group would be on the road at a given time. This would reduce the amount WWE is spending in transporting referees and paying them but again, is it really that much of a cost?

Like so many companies, WWE is top-heavy with executives. I can guarantee you that half the executive vice-presidents are superfluous, and probably pulling in 6-figure salaries with stock options to boot. That might be a sensible starting point for cuts. When you look at it, why do you need an Executive VP, Senior VP, VP and associate VP of Operations? How many of them generate a net gain for the company? Take someone like Elijah Burke, who might make $80,000 a year. No way a VP in a worldwide company makes less than that, and if Burke has merchandise or is in a feud he at least is contributing to the recovery of some of the dollars he costs the company.

Another concern is operating costs. Raw and Smackdown/ECW do 3 shows each a week, normally. Out of those 6 shows, 2 are for TV with the extra production, editing and distribution costs. The pyro budget alone has to be into 7 figures. If you must keep Raw live, then why not tape two ECW shows at a time? Cut down on the pyro? Do more pre-taped interview segments, and do them all at once? Those changes right there would be worth more than all of the cuts put together.

The one thing that should be in WWE’s favour is that TV costs almost nothing to watch. As it is there main medium for connecting with their audience, WWE needs to focus more resources and thought into improving the free TV product so that people will feel more inclined to spend money on the PPVs, house shows and merchandise that actually make the big profits. This can be done without a major financial investment, which is also a good piece of news. The question is, do they even know what people want to see?

One thing bears pointing out: the price of WWE stock bears ABSOLUTELY NO RESEMBLANCE to the state of the on-air product. Stocks are driven by the economy, and Dixie Carter would by WWE stock if it was on the up. Right now nobody is doing well in the stock market, and WWE’s drop is actually fairly average when compared with oil (a 60+% drop in 6 months) and the auto industry. It does no good for TNA fans to crow about Vince’s “epic fail” or for WWE fans to cry into their razor wounds. The only concern for the on-air product is that despite TV being in a position to benefit from the economic crisis, wrestling ratings are not going up significantly. That concern applies equally to TNA.

Will they be called the Main Event Yakuza?
TNA sending stars to NJPW, borrowing some in return…is it a good thing?

Following on from the recent appearances of Hiroshi Tanahashi in TNA and the critical acclaim around last year’s Global Impact, TNA is sending Kurt Angle, Kevin Nash, Team 3D and the Motor City Machine Guns to New Japan Pro Wrestling for at least one show (January 4 at the Tokyo Dome). Normally a trip to Japan is a great idea, since young talent can learn so much there and the talent exchange coming the other way means some exciting fresh matches for your home company. In this case, I don’t think it’s going to matter.

First, TNA has no idea how to use Japanese talent. Shinsuke Nakamura was brought over and never appeared on TV. Tanahashi has not had a singles match over 6 minutes in his stint with TNA and has been given no chance to show his abilities on Impact. I have no reason to believe that they would change that with any other group from the Land of the Rising Sun. Second, the people TNA are sending are hardly going to learn anything. Nash and Team 3D are all at the tail end of their careers and do not really fit the Japanese mould. Angle is more likely to teach someone something, and the Guns have been there many times. Then there’s the fact that Angle had his neck broken the last time he went east. Finally, with the exception of the Guns this is hardly the best group to choose to show off what makes TNA different. If TNA want to break into the Japanese market, where even WWE has a tenuous hold, then they would be better off sending the guys with better “work rate”.


The Week In Links
After all, what’s a Sunday brunch without the paper?

The shows
Just like a TV Guide that’s a week old

Dunn’s RAWtopsy. It’s back! Shame the show only did a 2.9. There was a time when dropping below a 3 rating would have been a sign of the Apocalypse, and now it’s the norm. Professional wrestling needs to realise that changing to more entertainment is driving the viewers AWAY, not bringing them in.
Bauer’s ECW Report. Great man, that Bauer. ECW dropped ever so slightly to a 1.15 this week, despite continuously delivering the most wrestling per hour. And most of it is good.
A Brace for Impact with Lansdell and Bauer. Another good show, despite the same frustrations. The 1.1 rating should surprise nobody by now.
Harrison’s Smackdown Report. Last week’s rating was a 2.2, the highest they’ve managed on MyNTV so far. Of course the pre-advertised Hardy-Taker match probably had a lot to do with that.
Cook’s Hulk Hogan’s CCW Report. The cumulative rating for the 3 showings was 0.9, which is not far off what Impact is getting. If, as some have predicted, this show leads to a new wrestling promotion, then it’s going to have a decent viewer base to start it off.

Required Reading
Best of the week’s editorials

Michael O with the excellent Cheers n Jeers. My young apprentice does me proud.
Sat and Uncletrunx examine the high and low roads of The Bella Twins. Mmmm twins.
Byers covers me for a week and does an awesome job.
Thomason goes all stream-of-consciousness on us. Top stuff.
Sforcina jumps the massive queue of guys ahead of him and gets a plug because he listened to my advice once. And because we wear the same belt. I love insider jokes.

ROH 24/7?
The winds of change blow through RoH as they sign on to provide on-demand and start a subscription DVD service

In what has to be seen as a big step forward for Ring of Honor, they signed a deal recently with DirecTV to provide both PPV and a VOD service. The PPV deal brings DirecTV into the RoH PPV fold with the likes of Dish Network and TVN, and adds over 17 million households to their potential viewer base. The on demand deal will show around 10 hours (probably 3 shows) a month of older RoH shows so that viewers can see where the promotion came from, see who came through it, and catch some of the tremendous matches from older RoH events.

While the PPV expansion can only be a good thing, I do have a couple of reservations about the VOD deal. You won’t find many people who like RoH today better than RoH of 2-3 years ago. The hardcore fans have already seen it, and if you’re trying to attract new fans they won’t get a good idea of the product as it is today. On the other hand, TNA or WWE fans who tune in and see CM Punk, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, Matt Hardy, Jamie Noble or Brian Kendrick might be tempted to stick around to see what their favourites did, or to see what star gets discovered next.

The subscription DVD service is so simple, inexpensive and beneficial to the customer that I’m surprised it hasn’t been done before. Basically, you subscribe to 6, 10 or 20 DVDs and receive them as soon as they are released, instead of having to check the RoH site every day to see what’s out. The price paid will include shipping and might even allow you to take advantage of a 35% discount special if you order when one is on. It’s also likely t be slightly more economical than buying 20 DVDs separately. This is a great gift for the RoH fan, or for the wrestling fan who is growing jaded with their current fed. RoH is probably hoping that it will be used as a way to hook people on RoH, and even if it doesn’t work xactly going to cost them a fortune.

Random Video Interlude!

This may be the greatest ring entrance ever. Dancing, freaky people in masks, invisible dogs AND flashinig lights? Love those Japanese.

The tribe speaks, SUNDAY!
Survivor Series previewed

Wait, another impossible-to-break-down-logically PPV? Well, that can only mean it’s time to improvise. And that should make you very, very scared. Randle leads the staff in the Round Table preview, and me? Let’s play Should vs Will.

Remember when Survivor Series was all elimination tags? I miss those days.
TEAM RAW Slores: Beth Phoenix, Kelly Kelly, Mickie James, Jillian Hall and Candice Michelle vs. TEAM SMACKDOWN Tramps: Michelle McCool, Victoria, Maria, Natalya, and Maryse
Should happen: This should be on the pre-show, replaced main-show by Primo, Carlito, Jesse, Festus and Tommy Dreamer vs THE Brian Kendrick, Ezekiel, THOSE EDGE GUYS and Jack Swagger. On the pre-show, Beth would cock-whip each and every one of the Smackdown tramps, pin them all at once, strip Maria, Candice and Kelly Kelly down and do Santino up the butt while he oiled the nude ladies. Then Beth would get tombstoned by Undertaker for messing with his girl. I would enjoy that.

Will happen: Aw crap. I have discovered the flaw in my plan: I have to pretend I care about this match. Well, it’s bound to come down to people turning on each other, but I see a Michelle-Beth confrontation at some point, as well as Mickie James getting the final fall. She may even be the last woman standing. Besides, Raw is due for an inter-brand win.

Winners: Team Raw Slores

Team Roids Pepsi Weed Emo Jailbird: Batista, CM Punk, Kofi Kingston, Matt Hardy and R-Truth vs. Team Gymbag Douchebag Brown bag Teabag Sweatbag : Randy Orton, Cody Rhodes, Shelton Benjamin, William Regal and Mark Henry
Should happen: Re-pick the teams. Punk and Batista do not get along, Rhodes and Orton do not get along. Why are they teaming? Failing that, Punk needs to continue to build his feud with Regal before he moves to Orton, which needs to be at Mania. To that end, Regal needs to eliminate Punk. Matt Hardy and Batista should be the last 2 for their team against Orton, Henry and Cody. The announcers should play up Orton’s record at Survivor Series (which is pretty good if recall, barring the whole Team RKO-Team DX thing) and have Rhodes cost Orton the match after being eliminated himself.

Will happen: No way that this match, despite its multiple layers of feuds past and present, will be allowed to develop so many future stories. It will come down to Randy vs a large portion of Team Batista, and he will end up winning to remind everyone that he’s a force.

Winners: Team Orton

TEAM Ethnic: HBK, Rey Mysterio, Cryme Tyme and The Great Khali vs. TEAM Freaky Sexy Money: JBL, Kane, MVP, The Miz and John Morrison
Should happen: Khali should be struck down by the awesomeness of Miz and Morrison’s entrance and get pinned right away. JBL should go down early to the ever-awesome Finisher Suite, and the Kane should produce a flyswatter and obliterate Misterio. After that, ideally MVP should pin someone and claim that that makes his bonus kick in. Miz and Morrison to be the survivors.

Will happen: Khali pins MVP in 11 seconds. He gets counted out chasing MVP who is beating on Runjin Singh. The rest is a crapshoot. I’d say that Team HBK is going to win but after he put over Miz on Monday…I have doubts. Not many though.

Winners: Team Ethnic

Casket Match: The Undertaker vs. The Big Show
Should Happen: Big Show should come to the ring with a chainsaw, reduce the casket to sawdust and then we could have a sensible match. They should each grab a chair and just waffle each other until one can’t get up. I’d pay for that.

Will happen: Big Show is about to get thrown into the casket when You Manga comes down and kills Taker. Again. Then Taker takes another break until the Rumble, when he comes back and eliminates Big Show to win. He’ll feud with Umaga before fighting someone at Mania for the title.

WWE Title Match: HHH © vs. Vladimir Kozlov vs. Jeff Hardy
Should happen: Kozlov beats everyone senseless throughout the match, goes to pin HHH and gets hit with the Swanton while on top of HHH. Hardy gets the pin on HHH and the win, and the building explodes. This way Kozlov’s streak is protected, Hardy gets his win and HHH doesn’t look weak in the screenshot, errrr I mean loss.

Will happen: Actually I think I have this one pretty spot on. I can’t see how WWE can have Hardy lose again here without painting him as a choker. They already have one of those in WWE history, and he ended up hanging out with his weights. I also can’t see Kozlov taking the fall, simply because he’s still undefeated.

Winner: Jeff Hardy

World Title Match: Chris Jericho © vs. John Cena
Should happen: We should get a classic, competitive 30-minute match with a lot of back-and-forth, a bunch of near falls, and a huge move to win the match. It should be Jericho that wins, and wins clean, simply because it gives them a reason for a rematch and doesn’t make Cena look like God right away, but that shows that he can hang with anyone in any style.

Will happen:Cena wins in under 15 minutes after being beaten up for 10 and hitting the FU after a minute of offence.

Winner: John Cena

espresso
One-line looks at minor news

WWE posts, then removes, shot at UFC – I guess they realised “You stole our future megastar! WAAAAAAAAAH!” was a bit childish.
TNA bringing back Feast or Famine – Well, at least it’s not the Turkey Bowl.
TNA bringing back the Turkey Bowl – Oh fuck.
TNA Originals to change name – “Low-card Law Enforcement” is not on the shortlist.
Tiger Ali Singh may make a comeback – He had to wait til Ric Flair retired, because Nature abhors a heat vacuum.
Krystal Marshall wins Ms Bikini America – Bobby Lashley was seen behind the judges grinning.

Christian! Christian! At last, he’s coming home…right?
TNA have set the stage for Christian Cage to defect…or have they?

It’s probably not an exaggeration to say that Jason Reso is the hottest soon-to-be free agent in wrestling right now. Having left WWE on good terms and on the cusp of being huge, TNA took Vince’s ball and ran with it, making him a champion. Despite doing nothing for TNA’s ratings, Christian showed in TNA that he could be a champion, and that he was ready. With his contract expiring, TNA have as yet been unable to get his signature on the dotted line, so they did the smart thing and had him sustain an ass-whipping and wrote him off screen. Not only did they write him out, they also made constant reference to his imminent defection to WWE.

They’re not that stupid are they? No, I don’t think they are. Christian also has not yet signed with WWE, and I really can’t see him going with an angle like this if he was leaving. He left WWE for the lighter schedule and for the possibility of some outside roles, both of which he has had in TNA. Aside from reuniting with Edge, what can WWE offer him? It’s not about the money; he took a lower offer to go to TNA. It’s not his position on the card; WWE will lose him in the shuffle after an initial push. He has a perfect angle waiting for him in TNA, one which Russo will get behind because it’s a worked shoot. The only thing that might get him to move is his happiness level, which reports say is low in TNA. For once, TNA have made a very good move here, and they seem to have everyone convinced they’ve lost Cage.


The Tip Jar
Your thoughts from last week

Well last week I was in France and probably hung over. You had a few thoughts for Westerfeld, but I can’t be bothered looking. So on that note, I shall leave you. Join us for LIVE coverage of Survivor Series (with someone who is not Csonka or Wilcox) tonight from 8pm, and of course Randle, Clark, O and JP are in tomorrow. Stay Cool, Rock Hard.

Lansdellicious – Out.

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Chris Lansdell

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