Wacky Wrestling Theory 11.27.08: World Wrestling Entertainment

Ultimate WWE

Although it may seem like the ‘new’ Razor Ramon and Diesel idea was a failure, in theory it could still work. The two biggest problems at the time were (a) the real Scott Hall and Kevin Nash were on a more popular show doing the same gimmick they originally invented, and (b) the ‘new’ versions were interacting with original gimmick wrestlers like Bret Hart and Marc Mero. I’m proposing a WWE brand where all the wrestlers are young guys re-imagining classic popular characters. You could have a new Hulk Hogan, Ultimate Warrior, Ric Flair, Stone Cold, The Rock, Iron Sheik, Junkyard Dog, Big Bossman, and even recent and current stars like dX, the Undertaker or Mankind could be fun to mimic and expand on. The attraction would be to not only judge how well the wrestlers could integrate the classic personality into their personal style but also to see hypothetical dream matches come to life in some form. As well, they could re-do classic moments, like the Wrestlemania V main event but this time Macho Man wins, or the Montreal Screw-job where Hebner doesn’t ring the bell. Eventually the anticipation about what is going to be different would create a high level of interest. Much like the Marvel Ultimate comic book line, with hindsight at your disposal it is possible to craft stories that play off of expectations and work to tighten up the overall mythology loved by the fans, and re-experience the most invigorating narrative moments in wrestling history.

WWE Silent

One of the best aspects of the weekly ‘UFC Ultimate Fighter’ reality series is that the matches at the end of the show don’t feature any commentary. Something about this is freeing to watch, like a movie that doesn’t rely on sappy, emotional music to dictate exactly how the audience should feel. Well, I think a one-hour show of WWE wrestling with no commentary, no ring announcing and no interviews would be an interesting style of wrestling to watch. If the show were to take place in smaller arenas, just the natural sound of the crowd and the ring action would be unique enough to sustain a whole audio experience. I think an atmosphere like this would be the perfect opportunity for quiet yet skilled wrestlers who don’t get a lot of spotlight like Paul London, Val Venis, Snitsky, Funaki and Mike Knox to emerge as a different kinds of stars, while seasoned independent wrestlers like Bryan Danielson and Scotty ‘don’t call me Colt’ Goldman could make a name for themselves telling stories in the ring with just their actions and timing.

WWE AWA

Since the WWE is so caught up in the legal rights behind the AWA, why not just go ahead and bring it back as a brand. Unlike my previous ideas, this would just be a fourth WWE brand in the same style as RAW, ECW and Smackdown. The WWE would have a new World Champion to promote, and another night of generic ‘firsts’ when four ‘world’ titles are defended at the same pay-per-view. Actually, it would be perfect to spread out the top stars to a third main brand. Already RAW and Smackdown feel a bit top heavy, with at least four top stars who legitimately should be having long title reigns, stuck trading victories on their respective shows. The AWA name and legacy are just generic enough to support more WWE style action. Considering the low-key style of the AWA, this would be the perfect home for Jerry Lawler as a commentator/General Manager, country boys like Matt and Jeff Hardy to be the top stars, some grumpy old guys like William Regal and Finlay to thrive, a place for traditional tag teams Jesse & Festus and Cade & Murdoch to ply their trade, as well as the perfect stage for a chin-locking, pure-bred old school wrestling superstar like Randy Orton to have a bigger purpose than just winning and losing the same title over and over again on RAW. As a vehicle for Orton, the way Smackdown once felt like the home of The Rock, the WWE AWA could be a successful brand extension for the WWE to shore up it’s wrestling tradition and spread out their wealth of main event talent.

WWWWE

The ‘Whole Wide’ World Wrestling Entertainment brand that would be run more like a World Cup tournament than a regular pro-wrestling show. Every year, wrestlers representing different countries would compete in matches for about six months, like a league format. The country-specific wrestlers would then be seeded into fixtures where they would compete in order to qualify for the annual tournament. Final brackets would then be based on individual wrestlers performance, with a focus on having wrestlers who represent as many countries as possible as the final concept. If this was a one-hour show, then I think there should only be one match, combined with a lot of panel predictions and wrap-up, video packages showing the countries and interviews with experts, much like a regular sporting event. I think the international aspect of the show relates more to a global sporting appeal and thus why the different format from other WWE programs. A show like this could definitely appeal to viewers from around the globe, which as all barks know is where the real money is to be made.

WWE Revealed

A new concept for a brand that takes you backstage into the politics of the wrestling industry. We would follow wrestling veterans and newcomers as they deal with the obstacles of performing backstage with their opponents being the producers and company owner of a fictional wrestling company who are constantly trying to control the wrestlers’ performances. Matches on the show would not be in ring contests, but verbal confrontations between wrestlers and ‘suits.’ The show could have an omniscient faux-documentary feel, like the sitcom ‘The Office’ that is obviously scripted but is showing what the performers know is being filmed and what they try to hide. This would be a perfect concept to set up at a WWE training territory like FCW or OVW, where the audience can follow along with the drama of creating characters and planning matches, and the psychological struggle that accompanies these aspects of the wrestling business. Of course, the whole show would be carefully planned and scripted to look realistic, so even though it was not really ‘real,’ it would be a unique experience nonetheless.

WWE TXT

This brand would combine the current concept of asking the WWE Universe to vote their opinion to questions via text message, and make an entire show based on the Cyber Sunday format. Using a texting subscription service, fans watching shows at home would be given general choices, like which two wrestlers will face each other in the opening match and what outfits they should wear, down to very small choices, such as which moves a wrestler must use at a certain point in a match. For example, once a list of moves is flashed on the screen during a match, let’s say some wear-down holds like an armbar, abdominal stretch or figure four, then the audience has a few seconds to text in their favorite choice. Then after the votes are tabulated (obviously this should be able to be done instantly) the name of the move is shown on the big screen, in a color designated to one of the wrestlers in the ring, and they will have to use that move next. Fans would literally be calling the matches in the ring, using the wrestlers like puppets. Wrestlers on this show would literally be blank slates that the texting audience would be able to design, put the words into their mouths, and control their movements in the ring.

Well, there you have it, just a short look at some possible new brands that the WWE could be bringing out in the near future. You won’t be calling me wacky when you see some of these shows on the air in a few years, or maybe you have a better idea…?