The Piledriver Report 12.03.08: Waiting for the Memories

There are moments in professional wrestling that you never forget. . I remember all of the key moments from wrestling history since 1984. When Hulk Hogan pinned the Iron Sheik, I didn’t witness the match on January 23rd, 1984. However, the next Sunday, I stumbled upon the US Network’s “All-American Wrestling” while at my dad’s house. After seeing Hogan raise the belt in the air, a wrestling fan (however, not a Hulkamaniac) was born. When the Hulkster slammed Andre at WrestleMania III, I was at my grandmother’s house watching the show in her living room with my dad. It was actually daytime, as the show started at 4pm that day, and not 8pm like we are used to today. The night the Ultimate Warrior pinned Hogan, I was counting the 1-2-3 to my father, who was a Hulkamaniac. When Bobby Heenan showed up on my TV with the WCW belt for the first time, I was marking out at home on a Saturday morning.

As I got older, I would attend many of the most memorable events in professional wrestling. Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon’s Ladder Match, and Bret Hart against Owen Hart’s first encounter at WrestleMania X. Owen Hart’s King of the Ring victory. Lawrence Taylor main eventing WrestleMania XI. Mabel winning the King of the Ring amid a chorus of E-C-W chants, as garbage was flung towards his majesty. The night that Jerry Lawler showed up at the ECW Arena to attack Tommy Dreamer’s match, following the “Innovator of Violence’s” victory in Raven’s final ECW match. When Steve Austin first stunned Vince, I was at Madison Square Garden cheering like crazy. The first Austin vs. The Rock WrestleMania match, I was in the front row. Both ECW reunion shows in June of 2005, as well as the One Night Stand follow up the next year.

There are countless other events that I have witnessed in person or on TV. Whether it was Mick Foley flying off the Hell in a Cell against the Undertaker, or the joint TNT-Spike-TV Network broadcast of Nitro and RAW following Vince McMahon’s purchase of World Championship Wrestling, I remember all of the major events, and where I was for all of them.

That, I believe, is what keeps us coming back. Despite the awful angles like “Katie Vick,” or “Who Killed Vince McMahon,” we keep watching. We watch hoping to witness the next great match, the birth of the next great superstar, or the next great storyline. History is what we want to see. Knowing that we are watching a part of wrestling history is what makes an event special.

Just take a look at Ric Flair’s retirement. Everybody knew the “Nature Boy” was hanging the boots up at WrestleMania XXIV. However, knowing the back-story of his impending retirement made the storyline even more powerful. Every wrestling fan couldn’t wait for WrestleMania XXIV. They knew that we would be witnessing an event that would never be duplicated again. The build up to his final match was incredible. From Flair trying to convince Shawn Michaels to fight him in Orlando, to Flair

We know that professional wrestling is “entertainment.” However, people whom pulling out the old NWA World title belt on RAW, every moment would be etched in wrestling history. When WrestleMania weekend came, there was Flair’s induction into the Hall of Fame, his classic match with Shawn, and his send off on Monday Night RAW. Each event provided yet another historic memory for the fans.

As great as wrestling can be, there have been many things lately that have annoyed me. First, there is the WWE’s insistence on trying to hammer home the catch phrase of “WWE Universe.” The police should use the term “WWE Universe” as a trigger word when training attack dogs. I know that whenever I hear that hear, I feel like attacking the TV. I wouldn’t mind if they mention the phrase occasionally, but to constantly beat us over the head with “WWE Universe” can drive a sane man crazy.

Another thing that has finally gotten to me is the announcers’ forced laughter on camera. I have been watching television, especially sitcoms, for most my life. I have a great sense of humor. When watching something on TV, if I find it funny, I don’t need some idiot trying to sell it to me that the joke was funny. Michael Cole is the worst at providing fake laughter. To me, it’s like nails screeching on a chalkboard. Not to date myself, but Ed (no relation to Vince) McMahon used to do the same shtick on the “Tonight Show starring Johnny Carson.” I hated it then, when I was a little kid, and I hate it now as a grown man.

I can’t stand the way the WWE books some of their first time World titleholders. Look at how they booked CM Punk. He would get beat up by most of his opponents, and then would luck out in the end to hold on to the title. Before CM Punk, Rey Mysterio Junior had an equally ineffective World title reign. They basically put the strap on him due to what happened to Eddie Guerrero. Instead of getting behind a World Champion Rey, the WWE had him get beat all of the time in non-title bouts. In my opinion, if you are going to put your top title on a performer, then you should book him as your top star. Pre-Monday Night Wars, the World title meant that you were the cornerstone of the company. You were the man that the company has faith in to lead the promotion in the future. Somewhere after the “war” ended, the World title, though still of the utmost importance in the fans’ eyes, has been relegated to nothing more then a trinket, a prop, in the mind of the promoter. That became painfully obvious when they turned the WWE World title belt into a toy spinner belt. It seems like the only time the WWE treats their World title holders as true cornerstones of the franchise is when a veteran main event wrestler, like Triple H or John Cena holds the strap.

Lately, there have been a lot of different events that are vying for your pay per view dollars. There’s UFC, which has a three month calendar that includes the recent Brock Lesnar-Randy Couture Heavyweight title bout, December’s super stacked card featuring Frank Mir vs. Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira for the interim UFC Heavyweight title (with the winner getting a unification match against Brock Lesnar), followed by January’s dream match between BJ Penn and Georges St. Pierre.

In pro wrestling, TNA wrestling presented their flagship pay per view event Bound for Glory in October. In November, Turning Point featured Sting defending the title against AJ Styles. This weekend, TNA presents Final Resolution. The top angle features the Main Event Mafia of Sting, Kevin Nash, Booker T, and Scott Steiner against Samoa Joe, AJ Styles, and two mystery partners. If the Main Event Mafia wins, Sting keeps the TNA title. If the heels lose, AJ Styles is awarded the TNA title. Over in the WWE, from mid-November until the end of January, the McMahon’s presents three pay per views. Two of which are part of the WWE’s BIG FOUR.

What has been bugging me lately in regards to pay per views, besides the prices and the oversaturation of the market, has been the build up. One of the strengths of UFC is their promotion of their pay per views. Before I watched the Lesnar-Couture Countdown show, I was sold on Brock winning the gold. However, after the one hour Spike-TV special, I had my doubts. Plus, I learned a lot about Randy Couture that I previously did not know. To hype up the Mir-Nogueira fight, UFC had both guys coach teams in the latest “The Ultimate Fighter” season. Watching the show, I was able to see both fighters personalities come out. Frank Mir can be a jerk, and Antonio Rodrigo Nogueira is extremely nice. Before “Ultimate Fighter,” I knew nothing about Nogueira, and wanted to see a Mir-Lesnar rematch. Now, I can’t wait to see Nogueira beat Mir’s ass. According to reports, for January’s Penn/St. Pierre dream match, Spike will be airing 3 thirty minute specials familiar to HBO’s specials that they run leading up to big boxing fights. When watching these UFC specials, you are captivated into seeing the fight. Job well done by UFC in drawing interest.

However, when talking about pro wrestling, the “big two” could learn a few things from UFC. Lately, the main focus in TNA has been a rehash of the WCW Millionaire’s Club vs. New Blood angle. However, TNA is doing a better job with their version than WCW did with the original. That being said, there pay per view is this coming Sunday, and if it wasn’t for me writing an article, I totally forgot their PPV was coming up already. For me, the key component to selling me on purchasing a pay per view is the top matches. This is where TNA loses me. This month’s top match is a four on four tag team match, which is fine. However, in typical TNA fashion, this can’t be a normal tag match. Of course not, THIS IS TNA!!!! It’s also another pet peeve of mine. Why does every match in TNA have to have some kind of stipulation attached to it? Anyway, the stipluation makes no sense. If the Main Event Mafia lose the match, AJ Styles gets the TNA World title. WHY? Because he is feuding with Sting? Well, didn’t Samoa Joe lose the title to Sting? If Joe scores the pin, why shouldn’t he get the title. This is awful. Why would I pay to see this match? Let’s say the Dudleys are the faces mystery partners, and Brother Ray pins Booker T to end the match. Am I supposed to pop, because Bubba Ray pinned someone who wasn’t the World Champion in a tag team match for AJ Styles to win the TNA World title belt? WOW! That’s exciting. Nice why for AJ to start his title reign. Sounds more like the way a heel would start his title reign. I’m not saying this would happen, but the scenario IS possible. That type of scenario is EXACTLY the reason TNA will not be getting my $40.00 for this show. While I’m critizing TNA, I admit I do like the Main Event Mafia idea. However, isn’t the point of the group to hate them? TNA has a bad habit lately of making the heels cool and cheered. Meanwhile, they have been booking the faces to look like losers and the real heels of this storyline. I hate Russo booking, but that’s an article all to itself.

In a previous article, I announced my displeasure with the WWE’s promotion of the Survivor Series. It was awful. Nothing they did made me want to see the show. It wasn’t until I found out that Edge was returning that I decided to purchase the show. The build up was awful. The Jeff Hardy tease was tacky, but Edge is Edge, and I knew he would provide an awesome moment on the show. Now, the WWE is building up the Armaggedon pay per view taking place in less then two weeks. There are two main matches. Edge will be defending the WWE World title in a Triple Threat match against Triple H and Jeff Hardy. As of the time I wrote this article, SmackDown! hasn’t aired yet, so I’m not sure how they are building that match up.

The RAW main event features World Heavyweight Champion John Cena in a Survivor Series rematch against ex-champion Chris Jericho. Let’s see what has happened between the two during the last two weeks. John Cena beat Chris Jericho cleanly for the title at the Survivor Series. The next night on RAW, John Cena attacked Chris Jericho, beating him within an inch of his life. This past Monday night, Chris Jericho tried to attack John Cena, but again Cena beat the daylights out of Chris Jericho. It wasn’t until Jericho had the help of, not one, not two, but THREE other wrestlers, in order to do damage to John Cena.

This reminded me of something that Ric Flair was talking about in his recent shoot interview with HighSpots. When talking about his fued with Hulk Hogan in WCW. He mentioned that Hogan was to win the belt the first night in Orlando. At the next pay per view, Flair was going to beat Hogan. They would then have a rubber match at the following pay per view in a steel cage, that Hogan would win. Since Hogan had creative control, before the second match, the Hulkster refused to lose because his “merchandise is starting to move.” For the second big show in a row, Flair did the job. Leading up to their steel cage encounter, ticket sales were moving at a snails pace. Flair asked them what they expected. He just lost twice, why would anyone pay for the third show? They know he would do the job again. That’s when Flair put his career “on the line” to help try to pop ticket sales.

To me, the Cena/Jericho reminds me a lot of the Flair/Hogan fued. Cena beat Jerciho at Survivor Series, then beat him up on the following two RAW programs until, Jericho joined forces with Randy Orton’s crew to try and gain back some heat. What makes me think Jericho will beat Cena at the pay per view on December 14th? Absolutely nothing. That’s way this event is drawing no buys from me at the moment.

The final complaint I have has to do with the booking of the character “John Cena” in this angle. Why does he hate Chris Jericho so much that he brutally attacked him on RAW two weeks in a row. What did Jericho do to him? Their feud they had two years ago wasn’t especially violent. Chris just happened to be the champion right now when Cena came back. I understand that the WWE might want Cena to be more hard edge, so that all of the fans cheer him instead of having a split fan base. However, they need to give Cena a reason to act this way. If Jericho, Orton, Rhodes, and Manu would have attacked him on the RAW following the Survivor Series, then the WWE would have given the Cena character the motivation to “take no prisoners.” The way they just had Cena attack Jericho for no reason made no sense from a character stand point. You can’t had characters do things out of the norm for no reason whatsoever. That’s what WCW used to do with the now. The Giant feuded with the New World Order, and the next day, he joined them. Same goes for Curt Henning. He was given Arn Anderson’s spot in the Horsemen, but then two weeks later, he turned on them by joining the nWo.

Despite being annoyed by many things in wrestling these day, I continue to watch. I watch hoping to see the next Shawn Michaels/Chris Jericho feud, or the next five star classic. I’ll take the annoying, and somewhat idiotic, things that the world of professional puts us through. Because I know that when I least expect it, I will get that moment, and will remember it forever. Just like I’ve been doing with every big moment since 1984.