The Wrestling News Experience 12.22.08

Monday, December 22nd, 2008

From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!

Good morning, everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and by the time you read this (assuming you don’t wait up until after midnight every Sunday for me to post…actually, everyone should do that), I’ll be well on my way towards the Big Smoke, to see the WWE Supershow tonight at the Air Canada Centre. Hopefully this time Lillian remembers that it is not the Air America Centre. Anyone looking to shower me with praise, gifts, and/or monetary rewards for my years of entertaining you, we’re in Section 101. Anyone looking to mock or deride me for errors made in my years of entertaining you, we’re in Section 223. Look real hard.

I have two degrees and no relevant work experience. Maybe I should get into politics. Moving on.

What’s On Tap: WWE Raw for December 22nd

Tonight, Raw is live from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, and I and my lovely fiancée will be there, live and in person, for the Supershow. Smackdown will be taped beforehand, but you’re more interested in Raw, right?

Well, tonight on Raw, there are four matches announced, all featuring former World Champions, with the winners of the each match being entered in a Fatal Four-Way next week to determine who will meet World Heavyweight Champion John Cena at the Royal Rumble. These matches as of right now are: Rey Mysterio vs JBL, CM Punk vs Chris Jericho, Shawn Michaels vs Kane, and Batista vs Randy Orton. Of course, as Raw went dark last week, the status of Batista was unknown, as he’d been on the receiving end of Randy Orton’s Concussion Kick. Will Batista make it to his match tonight, or will he be unable to compete for his chance at the World Heavweight Title? And does having his employee also entered in the tournament mean that JBL really has two shots at getting to the next round? And how will the Canadian crowd respond to Shawn’s current predicament? I bet I can guess.

Meanwhile, Kane might by now have realized that Kelly Kelly may have misled him into attacking The Miz, and I doubt he’ll take it in stride. Plus, where did Cryme Tyme take Hacksaw Jim Duggan at the end of the show last week? And who is that strangely familiar woman who begged Beth Phoenix for her picture? Answers, maybe, plus Charlie Haas imitations, Mike Knox’s Beard standing around in an intimidating manner, and possibly even the man, the myth, the legend…Dolph Ziggler, tonight on Raw!

Around The Horn

This past week, the promise of even more wrestling on our televisions was made, as TNA announced that they were preparing to create “TNA Epix” (remember, the “x” makes it extreme), to air in the new year, although no channel, timeslot, or airdate was announced. The premise of the show is to air highlights, great matches, and historical events from TNA’s history. Granted, TNA’s history is only six years long and much of the first little while was a bunch of crap wrapped around some decent X Division matches and America’s Most Wanted, but hey, it’s another hour of wrestling TV every week. Plus, it allows the Comments section to explode with joy over being able to use the term “Epix Fail” every time the show is bad. Such simple creatures. Sometimes I envy them.

Not to be outdone, WWE has announced the return of WWE Superstars, at least on WGN, in the new year. No word on the format (one presumes it will involve wrestling, but who knows these days), but hopefully it could lead to the return of the weekend shows of my youth, where entertaining squash matches, debuting wrestlers, and enhancement talent ran free like the wind itself.

According to Mick Foley, the proposed reality show involving his family was turned down because, apparently, there wasn’t enough conflict between family members. Wait a second, a pro wrestler managed to raise and maintain a healthy, well-adjusted family that wouldn’t have wacky fights and adventures suitable for a national TV audience? What is this world coming to?

Never fear, though, as Mick is currently shopping a sitcom around that might actually land on a channel this time. Honestly, after all they’ve been through, they should try and pitch a buddy comedy involving Mick and Vince McMahon. One’s an ugly, goofy free spirit with creative ideas, and the other’s an uptight stubborn rich guy who always gets his own way. It could be the new Dharma and Greg!

So, everyone loves The Wrestler, except for a couple newspapers who claim that some of the violent acts that take place during wrestling matches in the movie were unrealistic. I have normally suppressed memories of at least fifteen different matches involving New Jack that say otherwise.

Apparently a former tag partner of Matt Morgan will be debuting in TNA around the next PPV. Who is it? Well, let’s put it this way…he’s bringing a lifetime’s supply of Australian milk with him! Yes, the Colossus of Bogga Road, Nathan Jones, looks to have signed with TNA. One can only wonder if, in the (nearly exactly, in fact) five years since he ditched WWE during their Australian tour, he actually learned how to wrestle. One might also wonder if the Australian government knows he’s left the country again.

Allegedly, Vince Russo was pushing to have Al Snow and Mick Foley feud, but was quickly shut down by Jeff Jarrett, who pointed out that it would water down the Main Event Mafia if Snow was even slightly affiliated with the group, since they’re all former World champions and he’s…Al Snow. Really, all he had to point out was that…it’s Al Snow. Al Snow vs Mick Foley didn’t work eight years ago when Mick had just written a bestselling autobiography and was at the peak of his career and Al still had a future that didn’t involve training youngsters in MTV reality shows who would ultimately fail to have any lasting impact. Well, except one.

Oh crap, if I repeat this bit any more, I run the risk of becoming just like Larry, running the same Dancing Brock movie week after week until it loses all meaning.

Linda Hogan, ex-wife of the Immortal Hulkster, was involved in a minor car accident last week. No one was injured, which is a new, encouraging trend for that family.

The Injury Bug Bites

Inactive List as of 12.15.08

WWE Raw

– Hardcore Holly, out indefinitely (rehab)
– Ted Dibiase, out indefinitely as of November 10th (kayfabe, concussion)

WWE SmackDown

– Umaga, out indefinitely as of August 20th (PCL)

ECW

– Evan Bourne, ECW, out 4-6 weeks (torn deltoid)

TNA

– Moose, out 6 months as of July 7th (broken femur)

Transactions

– Deuce, RAW, gimmick change to “Sim Snuka” as of December 15th

I would presume that this has something to do with Vince’s dictate about Creative finding something to do with all those second and third generation wrestlers they have on the roster. Snuka had an impressive flying knee in his match against Rey, plus it looks like he’s either being set up to align or go against The Legacy. I guess there is life after imitating John Travolta.

– Suicide, TNA, out indefinitely as of December 15th (torn bicep)

At last word, TNA is apparently planning to find someone to put under the Suicide mask while Kaz recovers, if in fact he cannot work through the injury.

– Tomko, WWE, working through injury (torn pectoral)

As reported, it’s possible that this injury may have cost Tomko his contract with WWE, due to not reporting it when he signed. But who will Christian use as a straight man when he makes his triumphant return?

Who’s Holding Gold

WWE

WWE Champion: Jeff Hardy
– 8 day reign, defeated former champion Edge and Triple H in a Triple Threat Match on December 14th (Armageddon PPV)

World Heavyweight Champion: John Cena
– 29 day reign, defeated Chris Jericho on November 23rd (Survivor Series PPV)

ECW Champion: Matt Hardy
– 106 day reign, defeated former champion Mark Henry, The Miz, Finlay, and Chavo Guerrero in a Scramble Match on September 7th (Unforgiven PPV)

WWE Intercontinental Champion: William Regal
– 42 day reign, defeated Santino Marella on November 10th (Raw)
– Next title defense: vs CM Punk, undetermined date

WWE United States Champion: Shelton Benjamin
– 155 day reign, defeated Matt Hardy on July 20th (Great American Bash PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Hurricane Helms, December 26th Smackdown

World Tag Team Champions: John Morrison and The Miz
– 9 day reign, defeated CM Punk and Kofi Kingston on December 13th (Hamilton, ON house show)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Carlito and Primo Colon
– 87 day reign, defeated Curt Hawkins and Zach Ryder on September 26th (Smackdown)

WWE Women’s Champion: Beth Phoenix
– 127 day reign, with Santino Marella, defeated Mickie James and Kofi Kingston in a Winner Take All match on August 17th (Summerslam PPV)

WWE Diva’s Champion: Michelle McCool
– 155 day reign, defeated Natalya Neidhart on July 20th to win the newly-created title (Great American Bash PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Maryse, undetermined date

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Sting
– 71 day reign, defeated Samoa Joe on October 12th (Bound For Glory PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Rhino, Genesis PPV

TNA Tag Team Champions: Beer Money Inc
– 134 day reign, defeated LAX on August 10th (Hard Justice PPV)

TNA X-Division Champion: VACANT
– Title held up in an X-Division title tournament due to disputed finish of Eric Young-Sheik Abdul Bashir match at Final Resolution PPV

TNA Knockouts Champion: Awesome Kong
– 60 day reign, defeated Taylor Wilde on October 23rd (Impact)

TNA Legends Champion: Booker T
– 60 day reign, introduced new title on October 23rd (Impact)

Links For Fun And Nonprofit

Harrison and Prag have the weekend news reports.

The Triple Threat has some early Rumble predictions.

Short has The Navigation Log.

Bond has Against The Grain.

Ari has Column of Honor.

And Sforcina has Not An Evolution Schematic.

The Gab Bag

And your longest reigning men’s champion is – Shelton Benjamin.

Well, at least we got Finlay vs. Henry. – BobbyC

Shh…if they notice he still has the belt, they might take it off him.

Once again, John Morrison makes me gay. Thanks Stephen. – The Weesel

John Morrison only seeks to unite us all in love for John Morrison. I am simply a messenger.

And One To Go On

411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EST.

Remember, if you love poker, and are in the Kitchener-Cambridge-Waterloo area, check out Player’s Poker League.

Small is in tomorrow, and I’ll be back next week.

Also, Merry Christmas, Happy Festivus, Joyous Saturnalia (Sheldon will explain it to you), and all those other holidays that all seem to happen in December by some strange coincidence. Spend time with your families, drink some egg nog, and watch A Charlie Brown Christmas. I demand it!

That’s our show, here it is, courtesy of the always entertaining Sean Carless and TheWrestlingFan.com (vote for him for Writer of the Year so I get another mention in his acceptance speech), your Moment of Zen:

SATIRE: JOEY STYLES’ PUNCH-OUT

Have a good one, and always be a fan.