411’s WWE Raw Report 06.21.10

Tonight’s Raw Report is brought to you by Diet Pepsi.

Diet Pepsi! When the man won’t let you drink on the job!

(I’m going to be fired worse than Daniel Bryan after this night’s over.)

Tonight on Raw we’ve been promised that Mr. McMahon will address the NXT Seven situation. No matches have been announced yet, but one assumes that new WWE Champion Sheamus will definitely say or do something to make an impression. There is no guest host and no General Manager, as Bret Hart is still out of commission due to the attack he suffered last week. Will anarchy reign? Let’s find out together…

Psst…Here’s a secret between you, me, and the thousands of people reading this…Maryse might actually have competition tonight for “Hottest Chick in the Building”. Don’t tell her I said that!

Raw is in Bridgeport, Connecticut tonight, which was once home to Richard Belzer! There’s a name that won’t be mentioned tonight. Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler are your hosts.

You ever notice how large the TV PG-V box is on this show?

VINTAGE NICKELBACK~! PYRO~!

Opening Promo!

We’re graced with the presence of the WWE Chairman, Mr. McMahon to start the show! Kind of a typical Vince strut, nothing too special. He welcomes us to Monday Night Raaaaaaaaaaw. Last night there was sheer chaos in one of our main events, so now Sheamus is our WWE Champion. There’s only one person to blame for the chaos…Bret Hart. He told Bret he’d have to make tough decisions, but not bad ones, and he made a bad decision when he fired Wade Barrett & the NXTers, which set off all sorts of chaos. Bret was shaken up a little, but that was no reason not to show up last night. Everything was his fault. Since he didn’t, he has no alternative but to relieve Bret of his duties as GM of Raw. In other words, he’s fired. It gives Vince a feeling of closure. So that brings us to a really important announcement…a new General Manager will be running things and he prefers to remain anonymous. The new GM will be issuing his instructions through a computer on the announce table. When Michael Cole gets an e-mail, he will stand up and inform the crowd of what his decisions are.

A few seconds later Cole receives an e-mail which reads, “By order of the new General Manager, all seven members of the original NXT group have officially been hired, and they will address the WWE Universe tonight.”

Vince tells us to enjoy the show and thanks us, and here comes our new WWE Champion, Sheamus! Vince remains in the ring with a smile on his face. He introduces Sheamus to us and the fans don’t seem pleased. He pauses for a “You Suck” chant. Sheamus apologizes to Vince because this isn’t the way he wanted to win the WWE Championship. More than anything he wanted to prove he belonged in the top echelon by beating three of the top WWE Superstars on his own. But that didn’t happen. He doesn’t deserve this…he can’t accept this championship under these conditions? Huh. He holds the title out for Vince to take it…but pulls it away when Vince reaches for it! It doesn’t matter how it happened, the fact is that he is the new WWE Champion! What a glorious opportunity and occasion, but before he gets carried away he has a message to the NXT guys…thank you! Thank you for interfering in the match, taking out Bret Hart, for jumping the other Superstars in the back, and thank you for giving him the opportunity that he needed. But he wants them to know that he could have done it all on his own and didn’t need their help. If they think they made a statement last night, they didn’t, the only statement made was him winning his second WWE Championship. Now that he has it, he will never-

YOU CAN’T SEE ME MY TIME IS NOW! John Cena heads down to the ring in orange t-shirt and all. The WWE Universe likes them some John Cena tonight. Cena says Pasty is in a great mood, he has some people to thank. He thanks Mr. McMahon for the new GM. He tells Michael Cole to send the GM an e-mail thanking him for hiring the NXT folks, it’s only a matter of time before he settles his issue with them. Thank you to the huge jar of mayonnaise, for winning the Fatal 4-Way. He went in the WWE Champion, so he gets a rematch. Thank you to Bridgeport, because there’s no better place for a WWE Championship match between Sheamus & John Cena! The fans like it, but Sheamus doesn’t. The fact is, he doesn’t care what he wants and there will be no title match tonight. He asks Mr. McMahon to tell him to leave, or he’ll do it himself.

Cole receives an e-mail from the new GM, and it says that in tonight’s main event, Sheamus will defend the WWE title against John Cena! Big pop. Vince says it doesn’t get any bigger than that. Cole gets another e-mail, and it says that to ensure that nobody interferes, a special guest referee has been named, one that commands fear and respect…the referee will be Mr. McMahon! NO CHANCE! Cena walks off with a smile, Sheamus seems dismayed. Doesn’t he know that Vince usually sides with bad guys?

The WWE Slam of the Week presented by Just For Men is Evan Bourne beating Chris Jericho by disqualification last week on Raw.

Match 1: Singles Action
Evan Bourne vs. Chris Jericho

Yeah, good luck to me getting to call a Bourne match live. I’ll be missing more moves than *fill in spotastic indy guy here*. Jericho is in a very foul mood as he heads to the ring. Jericho requested this rematch to make a statement to the parasites, because if he doesn’t win tonight, he will walk out of this arena and the WWE forever! Bold words from THE BEST IN THE WORLD AT WHAT HE DOES. Jericho sends Borune into the corner and pounds him down, off the ropes, backslide by Bourne gets two, crucifix gets two, off the ropes, Jericho ducks out before Bourne kicks him, and paces around as we go to commercial…

We’re back, and Jericho has taken the upper hand with a variation on a full nelson. He whipped Bourne into the railing during the commercial. Bourne fights back, off the ropes, roll through gets two! Big seated dropkick by Jericho, and a baseball slide knocks Bourne outside. Jericho claps his hands together in the international signal for “this guy’s toast”. Bourne takes a nine count before re-entering the ring. Jericho stomps and punches away on Bourne, sets him up for a vertical suplex…Bourne falls on top of him for a two count! Knee by Jericho off the ropes, spin kick by Bourne, big knee, elbow in the corner and a dropkick to a seated Jericho gets two. Jericho blocks a rana and tries to lock in the Walls of Jericho, Bourne tries to reverse, and eventually he turns it into a DDT that gets the two count! Knee by Jericho and a backbreaker gets a two count. Kick by Jericho, and a backbreaker. He tries to stretch Bourne for a submission. ASK HIM! Bourne knees his way out but Jericho puts him down. Bourne runs into an elbow, Jericho on the middle rope ends up getting ranaed by Bourne for a two count! Both men slow to get up…Bourne tries the double knees, but Jericho rolls through and locks in the Walls of Jericho! Bourne tries to reach the ropes, but Jericho gets in the middle of the ring! Bourne makes the ropes! Jericho is peeved! Bourne kicks him on the apron, Jericho’s in position for it…could it be? AIR BOURNE….MEETS THE KNEES OF JERICHO! CODEBREAKER! 3 COUNT!

Winner: Chris Jericho
From where I sit, that was the best Raw match in quite some time. Big ups to both men for their effort here.

Jericho stands over the fallen Bourne and pulls him up…is it sportsmanship? No, Jericho piefaces him back down! Cole & Lawler debate the merits of Jericho’s post-match actions, Cole in support and Lawler against.

Still to come…the NXT Seven makes a public statement! Sheamus defends against John Cena with Mr. McMahon as the referee!

Tomorrow on NXT, it’s Rookie vs. Pro when Lucky Cannon takes on Cody Rhodes!

Raw is live in Bridgeport tonight, and we get a nice shot of the arena. Raw is sold out. Was it? Surely somebody will tell us if it wasn’t.

Earlier tonight, the new anonymous General Manager made a WWE title match, and we get clips of it!

Backstage, Vince talks on the phone with the new General Manager. Vince doesn’t want any more surprises. He hopes the GM enjoys it. He takes his referee shirt off the couch…

Virgil & Ted DiBiase talk about how long they’ve known each other, and Ted apologizes for his actions last week. That being said, his services are no longer needed. He’s decided to upgrade…and it is an upgrade, as he’s hired Maryse! Virgil asks Ted what he’ll do for protection, and Ted replies “Buy a condom!” Ted informs Virgil that he’s fired and Maryse bids him “Au revoir”.

Josh Mathews introduces us to the Hart Dynasty. Natalya thinks they should have seen Bret’s firing coming a long time ago, and the NXTers shouldn’t be rewarded. Tyson agrees, and Natalya says they need to make a vow never to let that happen again. David agrees with them, and Natalya says she will debut her debut Raw match tonight to Uncle Bret. She promises that these Harts won’t stop beating.

A limo pulls up outside!

It can’t be Big Show, since he’s too busy eating dinner with one of USA’s actors.

Did you know? No, I didn’t.

Match 2: Diva Action
Natalya (w/David Hart Smith & Tyson Kidd) vs. Tamina (w/the Uso Brothers)

We get a long recap of Bret getting beat up before the match. I’ve never seen Tamina wrestle, so this should be something. Tamina kicks Natalya, punches her and beats her down in the corner. Headbutt! Those islander heads hurt, let me tell ya. Whip into the corner, Tamina misses, Natalya hit’s a clothesline and a slam, but she gets distracted by people moving around outside and Tamina tries to take advantage, but Natalya rolls through…

And here are the NXT Seven! Wade Barrett says they’ve come out to apologize, but Tyson Kidd does a plancha and it’s on like Donkey Kong! It’s not good for the Harts, though, as Smith gets thrown into the steps and Kidd gets thrown into the barricade. The Seven enter the ring as we go to commercial…

Winner: No Contest

We’re back, and David Otunga apologizes for their actions the last few weeks. They did what they did for one reason…their love for WWE. They love it so much they’d do anything to be here. They went to desperate measures, but now that they have their contacts, things will be back to normal. Heath Slater tells the fans they have no problem with the locker room or the universe. Nothing personal! There are a few individuals they’d like to apologize to. Justin Gabriel wants to apologize to Bret Hart. He put them in a corner by not signing them and firing Wade Barrett. They’re still sorry and hope they’re ok now. He also wants to apologize to the Hart Dynasty, he knows they’re angry but they had to defend themselves. He hopes they can all co-exist peacefully. Darren Young wants to apologize to John Cena. People used to call him the Black John Cena! But they needed to make a statement and an impact, and what better way than to attack the top guy in the WWE? He says that Cena will get his title back. Skip Sheffield wants to apologize to the WWE Universe. They all supported Skip on NXT, joining in his catchphrase. Yup yup yup, what it do! He hopes the kids and parents can find it in their hearts to forgive and forget. Michael Tarver knows about the struggles of life and being homeless. He apologizes to his children for his actions, but tells them they have to do whatever it takes to grab what they want. We all would have done the same exact thing they did.

Wade Barrett says that the gentlemen behind him all did what they had to do. But what about him? He had what he wanted. Why would he align himself with them? Loyalty. They decided that no matter what, they’d have fun on NXT, but they’d stick together and make sure they all had contracts. They wouldn’t allow WWE management to dictate their careers. NXT finished about a month ago. These men with no common link have formed a Nexus which will never be broken. Not only has Wade’s contract been reinstated, but his PPV title shot has also been reinstated. That leads him to Sheamus. They heard what he said, and no matter what he says, he knows that he is the champion because of them. If they made a target out of Cena, they can just as easily make a target out of him. At any time he wants, he can take his title, so he should wipe that smug look off his face. Whether it’s Cena tonight, of Barrett sometime in the future, he will lose the title. Wade Barrett will be the champion, and no matter who he takes it from, he’ll make no apologies. Some music plays as we go to commercial. It’s no New World Order theme, but it may grow on me.

Match 3: Singles Match
John Morrison (w/NXT Rookie Eli Cottonwood) vs. Ted DiBiase (w/Maryse)

Ted knows there’s a match scheduled for tonight, but he has better things to do. Don’t worry, he found a suitable replacement…

Match 3: Singles Match
John Morrison (w/NXT Rookie Eli Cottonwood) vs. Zack Ryder (w/ Titus O’Neal)

Tieup into the corner, Morrison breaks cleanly, but Ryder cheap shops him and pounds away on the Monday night Delight. Off the ropes, Morrison with a drop kick, He punches away in the corner and rams Ryder’s head in the turnbuckle, but Ryder kicks Morrison down and punches him down in the corner. Decapitator on the middle rope gets a two count. Snap mare and a dropkick to the back of Morrison’s head gets two. Chinlock by Ryder…Morrison fights out, he rolls up Ryder for two and Ryder forearms him down. WOO WOO WOO. Knee drop by Ryder gets two and he goes back to the chinlock. Morrison fights out again, he jacks Ryder’s jaw and kicks him down to the mat. Both men slow to get up…Punch by Morrison, clothesline, off the ropes, leg lariat gets a two count. Morrison back up, misses a big kick, Ryder on the apron, he drops Morrison neck first on the ropes, Morrison counters Ryder’s attempted Rough Ryder with a power bomb, Starship Pain gets the three count!

Winner: John Morrison
The instant replay guys sure liked the match, but not much of a reaction from the WWE Universe.

John Cena walks towards Josh Mathews. He says the Nexus took him out but it was nothing personal. His loyalty lies with the company and the WWE Universe. They made him a target, he’ll settle it. But right now his priority is winning the championship. Mr. McMahon says both men will have no excuses tonight and he will make sure the best man wins. Cena walks off and Vince looks…I think we’ll go with “pensive”.

Match 4: Mixed Tag Team Action
Eve Torres & The Great Khali vs. Divas Champion Alicia Fox & Primo

Interesting teams here. Believe it or not, this ties into something that happened on Superstars between Khali & Primo. Who says that show doesn’t matter? Primo & Khali start…well, Primo wants none of that and tags out. Alicia & Eve are in now. Alicia pushes Eve, Eve with a headlock takeover, back up and Eve takes her down again. This is pretty high on the list of moves I’d be willing to take.

What?

Alicia goes for a kick, Eve pushes her off and hits a clothesline for two. Off the ropes, Eve flips over Alicia and hits a dropkick. Alicia takes control and rams Eve face first against the mat. Eve fights back, misses a punch, Alicia lands a knee to the face for two. Alicia with some hair pulling, she rams Eve into the corner, Eve pushes her, kicks her down, she goes up and hits a moonsault, but Primo enters the ring and breaks up the count…Eve slaps him and here comes Khali. Alicia leaves while Primo gets destroyed by Khali. Big chop! Punjabi Plunge ends it.

Winners: Eve Torres & Great Khali
This was Rob McNew’s kind of match.

Randy Orton…IS WALKING!

Randy Orton Promo!

Pretty decent reaction for the Viper from the Connies. Is that what you call people from Connecticut? He has a beef with the Nexus interfering in his match…since all of them are under contract, he will punt each of them in the skull. He accepts Wade Barrett’s apology and hopes he will become WWE Champion, because if he does, he’s staring in the eyes of the man who will take it from him.

AWESOME! (Well, that might be debatable.) The Miz has something to say. Really? Just like Randy, he hears voices in his head, and they say they’re sick of seeing him in the main event, sick of his RKO, sick of him period. He’s had some tremendous accomplishments, but he’s never been US Champ and Tag Team Champ at the same time. It’s time for Orton to go to the back of the line, because the next WWE championship match goes to him. Why? Because he’s the Miz, and…..boot! Punches by Miz, but Orton power slams him and Orton starts pounding the mat…Miz rolls out of the ring. But in comes Edge with a spear! He says that now the real fun begins.

So Orton’s feuding with nine people. Talk about sociopathic behavior…

Is it just me or does the crowd audio sound a bit…strange tonight? Maybe I’m just being suspicious.

Match 5: WWE Title Match with Special Guest Referee Mr. McMahon
John Cena vs. WWE Champion Sheamus

Oddly enough, there’s another official in the ring with Vince at the start of the match. Justin Roberts introduces the men after their entrances. Fans are solidly behind Cena in this one. Looks like Mr. McMahon will actually be the enforcer outside the ring and not the official referee. Bell rings. Go-behind by Cena, Sheamus reaches the ropes. They circle each other, kick and stomps by Sheamus, he kicks Cena into the corner and pounds him down. Scoop and a slam by Sheamus, elbow drop gets a two count. Boot, punches by Sheamus rattle Cena, he Irish whips Cena hard into the turnbuckles for two. Sheamus drops Cena out of a dragon sleeper position for a two count as the crowd debates the merits of John Cena. The Cena lovers seem larger in number and have higher and louder voices. Sheamus kicks Cena outside as we go to commercial…

And since the commenters have been talking about Daniel Bryan tonight I’ll report there was a little Daniel Bryan chant early in the match, but it sounded lower than the Cena Sucks chant.

We’re back and Cena punches back…but he misses a charge in the corner and hits the ringpost! Cena on the apron…Sheamus misses a boot and Cena’s back in, whip off the ropes and Cena runs into a clothesline for a two count. Sheamus seems frustrated, but he should know it’ll take more than this in a WWE title match. Sheamus hammers Cena on the apron. He picks Cena up and goes for the hammer one more time…he lands it! Greg Valentine would be proud. He’s giving Cena a lot of time to recover…he goes for the hammer again, but Cena blocks it and punches Sheamus down. A boot and Cena’s back in. Punch, off the ropes, a double clothesline takes both men out. The count gets to seven before both men get up, Cena goes for the Attitude Adjustment, but Sheamus slips out and power slams Cena down for two. He tries multiple times for the pinfall but still no luck. Sheamus power himself up, misses the boot, Cena with shoulder blocks, he back suplexes him down…YOU CAN’T SEE ME! Five Knuckle Shuffle, AA is blocked and Sheamus hits the Irish Curse! Cover gets two! Both men slow to get up again, Sheamus up first…he hooks him for the Celtic Cross, but Cena reverses into the STF! Sheamus gets to the ropes though, so Cena must break. Sheamus goes outside and Cena follows him, only to get whipped into the steps! Sheamus rolls him back in and covers him for two. Should have gone for the countout, man! Sheamus looks frustrated and picks up the steps! He stands them up in front of the ramp and drags Cena back out…he rams Cena shoulder-first into the steps! Sheamus picks Cena up and rolls him back into the ring. I don’t get his ring psychology here. Sheamus lands the bicycle kick!

But here comes the Nexus! Sheamus heads for higher ground with the rest of the people at ringside.

Winner: No Contest

Darren Young tosses Cena over the announce table and Skip Sheffield tips it over on top of him! Mr. McMahon is still at ringside here. Interesting. He grabs the mike and tells them to stop it. He invites them into the ring and introduces these extraordinary athletes. He can take partial responsibility for their actions against Lawler, Cole, Bret, Cena, they almost got Sheamus. So how about a round of applause for Vincent Kennedy McMahon! It was interesting this week, but next week the General Manager will reveal themselves. The Nexus looks at Vince with hate in their eyes…uh oh! Or not. Vince’s life flashed before him for a minute. Well, they’ve gone back to that look while a Daniel Bryan chant is heard. The Nexus circles around Vince…an NXT chant starts! And it’s a 7 on 1 beat down as the crowd pops! They stomp and punch away on Vince, dragging him around the ring! They’re laying in the lumber! Clothesline from Sheffield! Barrett picks him up and slams him down! Justin Gabriel up top…450 Splash!