411’s WWE NXT Report 04.12.11

Hi, hello & welcome to 411’s NXT Report! I’m 411’s Steve Cook, filling in for the honorable & distinguished Tony Acero. Tony had the nerve to challenge me to a match in my comment section last week, now he’s running like a scalded dog. Go figure. This week’s recap is brought to you by 2-time NXT Rookie Conor O’Brian’s lady, Kristin Astara!

No matter where he finishes in NXT, Conor is WINNING!

Well, tonight it seems that the lovely Maryse has a very difficult decision to make. She can stay on as co-host of NXT, or she can continue her relationship with Ted DiBiase. Wait a minute, that’s her decision? Christ, it’s like choosing between syphilis & the clap. Anyway, I hope Maryse chooses NXT because there’s no guarantee that Teddy will be on Raw anytime soon. Remember when people thought he was the star of his tag team with my boy Cody Rhodes? People were so silly back then.

We open with a video package chronicling the exploits of Maryse, Yoshi Tatsu, Lucky Cannon & Ted DiBiase. This is actually a pretty good storyline when you condense it to two minutes.

WE ARE WILD AND YOUNG!

Todd Grisham & William Regal are your hosts for a Knockout edition of NXT from Albany, New York.

Matt Striker welcomes us and introduces his co-host, Maryse. She is looking good tonight! No one tells Maryse what to do. She’s had a lot of millionaires before Ted, she’ll have a lot after. She’ll choose NXT!

Our NXT Rookies make their way onto the stage. Lucky Cannon, Titus O‘Neil, Conor O‘Brian, Darren Young, Jacob Novak & Byron Saxton are here. Here are your NXT Redemption Point Standings, which mean nothing!

Titus: 9
Darren: 7
Byron: 4
Everyone else: 0

Power of the Punch!

Oh yes, the Power of the Punch challenge is back! You all know how it works by now, basically the NXT rookies punch the thing, the numbers go off, and there’s a total. Yeah, that’s a great description.

Byron: 649

The fans & Maryse are not impressed.

Jacob: 456

They’re even less impressed now, and William Regal, the man who gave this challenge its name, wishes he had named something that was more entertaining.

Darren: 469

Todd asks if he should go hit it. Maryse says she could do better.

Conor: 770

That’s more like it!

Titus: 801

Yeah, Titus killed it.

Lucky claims he is above this. He is not a clown, he is here to win championships! So Titus O’Neil wins and gets 4 Redemption Points. Since Redemption Points apparently mean nothing, I guess Titus having more Redemption Points than anybody by a wide margin means nothing? That’s not exactly making it a win.

Lucky claims the show is about him, and says Maryse needs a man in her league. So Yoshi Tatsu comes out. Regal’s score was 2,017 with his right hand, he of course is left-handed. I believe the man. We get Yoshi vs. Lucky tonight, and Lucky invites Maryse ringside because she won’t want to miss this.

Next we get O’Neil vs. Young, but first we get a trailer for That’s What I Am. Joy!

Match 1: Titus O’Neil (w/Hornswoggle) vs. Darren Young (w/Chavo Guerrero)

DY has the microphone! He is an NXT Superstar! All Hornswoggle is a bootleg leprechaun. The ring is made for full-size athletes, not pint-sized jokes. Don’t know if he knows this or not, but he’s not wrestling a midget tonight. Tieup, Titus throws Darren down. Tieup into the corner, Darren kicks Oneil down, karate chop to the throat gets a 1. Chinlock! O’Neil fights back, off the ropes, Young elbows him down for a 1 count. CRAVATE by Young! Titus fights back, into the corner, O’Neil with punches, uppercut, clothesline. Another clothesline by Titus, Young takes him down in the corner. He gets distracted by the Swoggle, and Titus rolls up Young for the victory!

Winner: Titus O’Neil

I would like to do the AJ rating system, but I can’t find the pics in the 411 database. All I can tell you is that this was a match. Nothing terribly embarrassing from either man, but nothing special either.

Young attacks after the bell and hits a gut buster on O’Neil. Now Young goes after Hornswoggle…Chavo tries to dissuade him from the attack. He does, and Hornswoggle tends to O’Neil. He better, O’Neil’s been down a pretty long time after that gut buster.

JTG walks down to the ring. Last week he & Vladimir Kozlov made a bet that he could make Jacob Novak fly before Vladimir made Conor O’Brian a beast. Yeah. JTG introduces Jacob Novak, and he comes out looking like the new Slam Master J. Yeah, I bet that’ll get him over. Regal feels sorry for the young man. He could make Novak into a superstar, but he couldn’t do anything with JTG. Master William isn’t a miracle worker. I’m not sure if this counts as “fly”. What is fly? Jacob tells JTG that there are plenty of Superstars that could help him more than he is. He doesn’t even like the Yankees! Well, who does? Regal’s been doing a lot of talking, so Novak will show him what it’s like to be a star. Regal says the last thing he wants is him getting into that ring and turning him into a bloody vegetable.

Match 2: Bryon Saxton (w/Yoshi Tatsu) vs. Jacob Novak (w/JTG)

Sacxton with a forearm and a hip toss, Russian leg sweep by Saxton, he then clotheslines Novak over the top to the floor. I will say that the jeans are a better look for Novak than the tighty whiteys. Novak gains control in the ring. Regal explains that the ring is his mecca & temple and that’s why he wipes his feet before getting in the ring. This is far more interesting than Novak’s offense, which is a body vice! Todd quotes The Godfather Part III, which would be considered a great movie by everybody if it wasn’t the sequel to The Godfather Part II. Facebuster by Saxton gets a two. Regal puts over Yoshi as a taskmaster like other Japanese trainers. Novak lands a series of kicks with the steel-toed boots and gets the three count!

Winner: Jacob Novak

Novak has a gimmick. That’s pretty much all you can say about this match.

Well, that was a finish. Novak looks at Regal some, and Regal looks back. Seems like we’re building to a match with William Regal & Jacob Novak. When’s the last time we got build for a Regal match? It hasn’t been since the ECW days, I’d imagine.

Regal thanks Edge for being a wonderful Superstar, an excellent competitor, and on a personal note, a brilliant foe. We then get Edge’s retirement speech from Raw. I’ll be talking more about Edge’s career & the future of WWE Smackdown in The Wrestling Sandwich on Saturday, so be sure to come back to check that out. Congratulations to Edge on a brilliant career, and for getting out before he became another cautionary tale.

Edge will surrender the World Heavyweight Championship on Smackdown, and I’ll have the Smackdown R’s up on Monday here at 411wrestling.com. If nothing else, I am a shameless self-promoter! Maryse joins commentary, and gives Todd the French greeting! And people keep saying that Todd got demoted. I’ll trade places with that man any day of the week, and twice on Sunday! Come on Todd, Tuesday wrestling news reports at 411 are as big as it gets!

Match 3: Lucky Cannon vs. Yoshi Tatsu

I like how Tyson Kidd doesn’t even need to be at the show anymore. Maryse compares Yoshi to a 5 year old. It’s a pretty fair comparison. Regal takes offense to Yoshi’s entrance video because he’s getting kicked in the head several times. Lucky with a neck breaker on Yoshi, covers for two. Lucky with a head scissors, and honestly I’m horribly distracted by the commentary from Maryse. As are William & Todd. Lucky throws Yoshi outside, pounds him down, but Yoshi rams him into the ringpost and sends him back into the ring. Chops by Yoshi! Spinning wheel kick from the top gets a three count!

Winner: Yoshi Tatsu

Well, Lucky didn’t look out of place in the ring with Yoshi Tatsu. I’m honestly not sure if that’s a good thing for him or a bad thing for Yoshi. Honestly, I was paying more attention to Maryse, but you’ve grown to expect this from me.

Yoshi gets a big kiss from Maryse! “Cowabunga!” says Todd Grisham! And that is our finish!