411’s WWE Survivor Series Report 11.20.11

We open the show with John Laurinaitis heading down the ramp to welcome the fans to the show.

United States Championship Match
Dolph Ziggler (Champion) w/ Vickie Guerrero vs. John Morrison
The match begins with a THUNDEROUS “We want Ryder! We want Ryder” chant from the crowd. Ryder or Riot, baby. Ziggler takes control with a side headlock takedown and follows up with a shot to the head. Ziggler hits the ropes and charges at Morrison, but Morrison catches him and catapults him into the corner. Ziggler tumbles out of the ring, so Morrison follows him with a corkscrew plancha. Morrison rolls Ziggler back into the ring, but Vickie Guerrero distracts Morrison just long enough for Ziggler to regain control. “We want Ryder! We want Ryder!” This crowd truly is going to blow the roof of the place is Ryder does make an appearance. Ziggler grabs a handful of hair and whips Morrison down to the mat. Ziggler plants his boot on Morrison’s throat and again pulls Morrison’s hair. Morrison fights back to his feet and rushes Ziggler into the corner. Morrison charges toward Ziggler, but Ziggler catches him with an inverted suplex for a two count. Ziggler stalks Morrison and goes for a sleeper hold, but Morrison counters into a clothesline. Ziggler gets back to his feet and catches Morrison with an O’Connor roll out of the corner for a two count. Ziggler goes for another inverted suplex, but Morrison flips over and lands on his feet. Morrison heads to the ropes and hits the Flying Chuck for a two count. Ziggler finally finds the sleeper hold, but Morrison counters into a sleeper hold of his own. Morrison’s use of the sleeper hold draws a chorus of boos from the crowd. I guess they want Ryder – and ONLY Ryder – to take the belt off Morrison. Morrison hits a tornado DDT and would have had a three count, but Vickie Guerrero puts Ziggler’s foot on the ropes. The referee realizes that Vickie is up to no good and ejects her from ringside. Morrison and Ziggler trade near falls in the middle of the ring, but Ziggler hits the FameAsser for a two count. Morrison regains control and goes for Starship Pain, but Ziggler gets his knees up and drives them into Morrison’s back. That gives Ziggler all the time he needs to catch Morrison with the Zig Zag for the three count.
Match Result: Dolph Ziggler defeats John Morrison with the Zig Zag.
Match Length: 10:42

After the match, Vickie Guerrero returns to ringside and announces that the United States Champion has something to say. Ziggler says that nobody would want to follow that match, would they? Some people think that Ziggler is showing off, but he wants us to know that he really is just that good. The crowd once again chants for Ryder, but Ziggler screams that Ryder isn’t here. Woo Woo Woo! Zack Ryder charges down the ramp and attacks Ziggler. Ziggler momentarily takes control, but Ryder hits him with the Rough Ryder and stands tall in the middle of the ring.

Lumberjill Match for the Divas Championship
Beth Phoenix (Champion) vs. Eve Torres
Eve quickly takes Beth down to the mat and goes to work with a little booty poppin’, and that’s enough to make Beth roll to the outside in disgust. The lumberjills roll Beth back into the ring, and Eve hits the standing moonsault. Beth regains control and catapults Eve neck-fist into the bottom rope. Beth applies a rear chin lock, but Eve fights out whips Beth to the corner. Eve drops Beth in the middle of the ring and goes for a running senton, but Beth gets her knees up into Eve’s back. Eve locks in some sort of flying triangle hold, but Beth just manages to roll Eve and make it to the ropes. Eve connects with a boot to the temple and goes up top for the moonsault, but Beth shoves Eve so that she’s straddling the top rope. Beth heads up top, takes control, and hits a TOP ROPE GLAM SLAM. Ho. Lee. Shit. That was pretty sweet. The three count is a forgone conclusion at that point.
Match Result: Beth Phoenix defeats Eve Torres with a TOP ROPE GLAM SLAM.
Match Length: 4:33

CM PUNK is in the locker room getting ready for his match, but David Otunga shows up bearing a message from John Laurinaitis. CM Punk assaulted Michael Cole on Raw, and Mr. Laurinaitis would like Punk to do the right thing and apologize to Cole tonight. Okay, Punk will think about it… right after he beats Alberto Del Rio for the WWE Championship.

THE ROCK is in the back, and he has a mic. In 1977, Dwayne Johnson was 5 years old and he was right out there in Madison Square Garden watching his grandfather go toe-to-toe with “Superstar” Billy Graham for the WWE Championship. Seven years later, he was hanging out with Andre the Giant watching his father Rocky Johnson defend the WWF Tag Team Championship. And yes, he did say “WWF”, which was censored by the production truck, even though historically he is absolutely correct. And then, in 1996, Rocky Maivia debuted at Survivor Series with bad hair and the most hideous outfit known to man. The Rock coined all of his catch phrases and became the People’s Champion. And now, after all this time, THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO MADISON SQUARE GARDEN. John Cena called the Rock out, and John Cena wanted the Rock to be his partner. But what John Cena didn’t take into account is that the Rock doesn’t come alone. He brings THE PEOPLE, and later tonight they’re going to take a lightning bolt and shoot it right up Cena’s ovulating lady parts. And now we’ve got a “Lady Parts! Lady Parts!” chant from the crowd. This is the arena where Frank Sinatra put on a magical performance and Ali / Frazier put on the Fight of the Century. The Rock leads the crowd through the chorus of New York, New York. Boots to asses, New York City, all night long. If you smell what the Rock is cookin’.

I pity the poor fool who has to follow that promo. Crowd is WHITE HOT right now.

Traditional Survivor Series Elimination Tag Team Match
Team Orton (Randy Orton, Sheamus, Kofi Kingston, Mason Ryan, & Sin Cara) vs. Team Barrett (Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, Dolph Ziggler, Jack Swagger, & Hunico)
Kofi Kingston and Dolph Ziggler start the match, and Kofi quickly takes control before making the tag to Randy Orton. Orton quickly hits Ziggler with the RKO and gets the three count for the first elimination. RANDY ORTON ELIMINATES DOLPH ZIGGER WITH THE RKO. 5 – 4 TEAM ORTON. All hell breaks loose in the ring, and Team Orton tosses Team Barrett to the outside. Kingston and Sin Cara dive over the top rope, but Sin Cara legitimately gets caught up on the top rope. Sin Cara looks to have either hyperextended his knee or injured his leg in some other fashion. It is announced that Sin Cara is unable to continue and has been eliminated from the match. SIN CARA IS ELIMINATED DUE TO INJURY. 4 – 4 TIE. Referees and trainers remove Sin Cara’s boot. Possibly a broken leg or broken ankle? The remaining members of both teams have been stalling for quite some time, but we finally get the match started again with Randy Orton and Cody Rhodes. Orton tags Mason Ryan, and Ryan man handles Rhodes before Rhodes finally makes the tag to Hunico. Ryan beats on Hunico and makes the tag to Kingston, but Hunico manages to mage the tag to Barrett. Barrett slams Kingston to the mat for a two count and lock in a rear chin lock. Kingston and Barrett make the tags to Ryan and Hunico, and Ryan once again takes control. Cody Rhodes makes a blind tag, but Ryan has no idea it happened. Rhodes slides into the ring and surprises Ryan with Cross Rhodes for the three count. CODY RHODES ELIMINATES MASON RYAN WITH CROSS RHODES. 4 – 3 TEAM BARRETT. Sheamus enters the match for the first time and immediately takes control of Rhodes. Sheamus wraps Rhodes around the top rope and beats on his chest. Sheamus hits Rhodes with a textbook suplex for a tow count. Rhodes kicks Sheamus off the ring apron and makes the tag to Barrett, and Barrett drops down to level Sheamus with a clothesline on the arena floor. Barrett slams Sheamus back-first into the ring apron and rolls him back into the ring. Barrett makes the tag to Hunico, and Hunico connects with a slingshot low drop kick to Sheamus’ gut. Sheamus finally makes the tag to Kingston as Hunico tags Barrett. Kingston hits the Boom Drop in the middle of the ring. Kingston sets up for Trouble in Paradise, but Rhodes distracts him from the outside. Kingston momentarily goes after Swagger on the apron, and that gives Barrett the opportunity to level Kingston with a Big Boot. Barrett hits Kingston with Wasteland and gets the three count. WADE BARRETT ELIMINATES KOFI KINGSTON WITH WASTELAND. 4 – 2 TEAM BARRETT. Randy Orton enters the match, and Barrett tags Hunico. Hunico tosses Orton out of the ring and connects with a suicide dive to the outside. Hunico rolls Orton back into the ring and tags Swagger. Swagger works over Orton and makes the quick tag to Rhodes. Rhodes goes for some sort of arm and neck submission, but Orton creates distance with a quick head butt. Rhodes goes back to the hammer lock / chin lock combination, but Orton once again creates distance. Rhodes goes for a bulldog, but Orton tosses Rhodes across the ring. Orton tags Sheamus as Rhodes tags Swagger. Sheamus absolutely beats the tar out of Swagger in the corner and heads up top. Sheamus connects with a top rope flying battering ram, tosses Hunico out of the ring, hits Swagger with the Irish Curse Backbreaker, and tosses Rhodes out of the ring. Sheamus goes for Celtic Cross, but Wade Barrett makes the save. Sheamus beats Swagger down to the mat and just beats the holy hell out of him, but Swagger is in the ropes. The referee calls for Sheamus to break do to the fact that Swagger is in the ropes, but Sheamus continues to beat on Swagger. That gives the referee no choice but to disqualify Sheamus. SHEAMUS IS ELIMINATED BY DISQUALIFICATION. 4 – 1 TEAM BARRETT. Sheamus has been eliminated, but he damn near decapitates Swagger with a clothesline on his way out of the ring. Swagger is out cold, so Orton slides into the ring and gets the three count. RANDY ORTON ELIMINATES JACK SWAGGER AFTER A CLOTHESLINE FROM SHEAMUS. 3 – 1 TEAM BARRETT. Rhodes enters the match and tries to finish things off, but Orton regains control. Rhodes tags Hunico and Hunico goes for a springboard attack, but Orton catches him with a mid-air RKO for the three count. Barrett enters the match and heads right for Orton. Rhodes momentarily distracts Orton, and that’s all Barrett needs to his Orton with Wasteland for the three count. WADE BARRETT DEFEATS RANDY ORTON WITH WASTELAND. 2 – 0 TEAM BARRETT.
Match Result: Team Barrett defeats Team Orton. (Wade Barrett and Cody Rhodes surviving)
Match Length: 21:56

After the match, Michael Cole tells us that Sin Cara has suffered a ruptured patellar tendon.

Alberto Del Rio is in the back being all “How you doin’?” with the Bella Twins, but John Laurinaitis cock blocks him hard. Laurinaitis wants to make sure that Del Rio is focused on nothing but the WWE Championship Match. Del Rio assures Laurinaitis that this will be the first of many title defenses he will have in Madison Square Garden.

World Heavyweight Championship Match
Mark Henry (Champion) vs. The Big Show
Henry and Show lock up to start, and Show immediately shoves Henry down to the mat. Henry and Show lock up again, but this time Henry shoves Show to the rope. A third test of strength results in Show shoving Henry down to the mat, but this time Henry rolls to the outside to catch a breather. Henry finally climbs back into the ring and catches show in a standing rear waist lock, but Show reverses into a waste lock takedown. WRESTLING! Henry charges at Show, but Show catches him with a silky smooth arm drag takedown. WRESTLING! THE GHOST OF RICKY STEAMBOAT HAS POSSESED BIG SHOW! Show traps Henry in the corner and goes to work with a volley of shots to the ribs. The referee calls for a clean break, and Henry complains about Show attacking him while he was in the ropes. Henry heads back to the middle of the ring, and Show greets him with another volley of punches. Show hits the ropes, but Henry levels him with a low shoulder block to the knee. Henry slams Show’s leg into the mat and locks in a knee submission. Henry drops an elbow onto Show’s knee and once again wrenches on the knee. Show gets his free leg around Henry’s face and manages to break the hold. Ladies and gentlemen, we’re watching 900 lbs of humanity chain wrestle in the middle of the ring. Of course, as I type that, the crowd erupts into a chant of “Boring! Boring! Boring!” Both men get back to their feet, and Big Show goes to work with a series of head butts. Show connects with a back elbow shot in the corner and sets up for the Choke slam. Henry gets back to his feet and Show goes for the Choke Slam, but Henry counters into a World’s Strongest Slam… FOR A TWO COUNT! Show just managed to kick out of that. Henry hits a big splash for another two count and follows up with an elbow drop for a third two count. And now the crowd is calling for the Undertaker. Show rolls out of the ring, but Henry follows and shoves him shoulder-first into the ring post. Henry backs away, sets his sights on Show, charges at him, and shoulder tackles Show right through the barrier. Henry rolls back into the ring, and the referee begins his count on Show. Show crawls to the ring and just manages to slide back in at 9. Henry attacks Show on the apron and then heads up top. Show shoves Henry back down to the mat and lands a super kick to Henry’s jaw. Henry is down in the middle of the ring, and Show heads up top. Show takes FOREVER to figure out how to balance himself on the top turnbuckle, but eventually he hits a TOP ROPE FLYING ELBOW DROP. That took a while, but it was spectacular, and it was enough to draw a “Randy Savage! Randy Savage!” chant from the crowd. Show goes for the Weapon of Mass Destruction, but Henry ducks the punch. Henry knows that he’s in trouble and connects with a Greco-Roman Nut Shot for the disqualification.
Match Result: Big Show defeats Mark Henry via disqualification.
Match Length: 16:00ish (stopwatch issues)

After the match, Mark Henry retrieves a steel chair from ringside and wraps it around Show’s leg. Henry heads up top and looks to break Show’s leg once again, but Show just manages to slide out of the way. Show drops Henry with the Weapon of Mass Destruction, wraps the chair around Henry’s leg, and viciously stomps on the chair. It looks like Show may have just shattered Henry’s leg.

Matt Striker is in the back with Wade Barrett. Barrett tells us that the Barrett Barrage is in full effect, and he wants to be the first English born WWE Champion. The Miz and R-Truth show up to question the Barrett Barrage, but Barrett says that just like “your Charlie Sheen,” he’s winning. Barrett leaves, but Miz wants to know why the focus is on everyone except Awesome Truth. Before the show, Truth was talking to a bunch of Rock-lovin’ pigeons. He told the pigeons that Rock and Cena are going to lose tonight. You know what those pigeons said to Truth? Nothing. Pigeons don’t talk. All they do is crap. Remember, crap is crap. And tonight, crap is gonna get got. That was pretty awesome.

As usual, Ricardo Rodriguez is Alberto Del Rio’s personal ring announcer. However, once Del Rio is in the ring, Justin Roberts announces that CM Punk has requested his own personal ring announcer… WWE HALL OF FAMER HOWARD FINKEL! That was epic.

WWE Championship Match
Alberto Del Rio (Champion) vs. CM Punk
Punk and Del Rio lock up to start, but the referee calls for the break when they get tied up in the ropes. And the crowd has now erupted into a “Colt Cabana! Colt Cabana!” chant. I love New York. Del Rio grabs a side head lock, hits the ropes, and levels punk with a running shoulder block. Punk regains control and locks in a rear hammer lock on the mat. Del Rio breaks the hold, but Punk goes right back to a standing rear hammer lock. Punk hits the ropes, drops Del Rio with a running shoulder block, and goes for the Anaconda Vice, but Del Rio slides to the outside to catch a breather. Del Rio climbs back into the ring, but Punk whips him to the corner and catches him with a hip toss on the rebound. That’s enough for Del Rio to once again head to the outside to strategize with Double R. Punk connects with a suicide dive, rolls Del Rio back into the ring, heads up top, and connects with a top rope cross body for a two count. Punk goes to the key lock, but Del Rio flips him to the ropes to break the hold. The referee pulls Del Rio away, but Double R bitch slaps Punk form the outside. Punk chases Rodriguez around the ring, but Del Rio catches him with a pair of boot between the ropes. Del Rio slams Punk into the steps, rolls him back into the ring, and connects with a double ax handle from the top rope. Del Rio repeatedly drives his knee into Punk’s elbow on the mat and rolls Punk into a modified Fujiwara Arm Bar. Punk fights back to his feet and breaks the hold, but Del Rio retaliates with a head butt. Punk charges at Del Rio, but Del Rio catches him with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker for a two count. Del Rio heads back to the top and connects with another double ax handle for yet another two count. Del Rio lands a stiff kick to the ribs and goes for a running double boot, but Punk slides out of the way causing Del Rio to fly between the ropes and tumble to the outside. Del Rio finally climbs back into the and charges at Punk, but Punk catches him with a quick Big Boot. Both men regain their vertical base, and we break into the Yeah! / Boo! spot in the middle of the ring. Punk takes control with a clothesline and a neck breaker for a two count. Punk hits his patented high knee in the corner and follows up with a running bulldog for a two count. Punk connects with his springboard clothesline for another two count. Punk goes for the Go To Sleep, but Del Rio floats over and counters into a Backstabber. Del Rio finds the standing rear waist lock, but Punk reverses into a roll-up for a two count. Del Rio fights back and takes Punk up top, but Punk shoves Del Rio back down to the mat. Punk sets up for the Randy Savage Elbow Drop, but Del Rio pops up and shoves Punk off the top. Punk is tied up in the tree of woe, and Del Rio connects with a low drop kick to the skull. Del Rio charges again, but Punk pulls himself up causing Del Rio to post his shoulder. Del Rio rolls back to the middle of the ring, and that gives Punk the chance to hit the Randy Savage Elbow Drop. Punk heads to the corner and TUNES UP THE BAND! The crowd thinks he’s going to go for Sweet Chin Music, but instead he calls for the Go To Sleep. Punk goes for the Go To Sleep, but Del Rio counters into the cross arm breaker. It looks bleak for Punk, but he finally manages to get a foot on the rope to break the hold. Del Rio charges Punk and Punk again goes for Go To Sleep, but Del Rio shoves Punk away. Punk uses his momentum to connect with a Big Boot to Double R that knocks Rodriguez off the ring apron. Del Rio sneaks up behind the distracted Punk and catches him with a roll-up, but Punk counters into the Anaconda Vice. Del Rio fights… Del Rio squirms… DEL RIO TAPS! Punk grabs the title belts and dives into the first row to celebrate with his fans. Punk celebrates at ringside, heads toward the ramp, and once again dives into the first row. Punk heads back into the ring and then celebrates all the way back up the ramp.
Match Result: CM Punk defeats Alberto Del Rio with the Anaconda Vice.
Match Length: 17:15

The Miz and R-Truth make their way to the ring, but the crowd knows they aren’t the story here. Cena hits the stage next, and the crowd greets him with a ferocious chorus of boos. He gets a few cheers once he hits the ring, but you know the crowd has made their choice. IF YOU SMELL… WHAT THE ROCK IS COOKIN’!

Boots to Asses Tag Team Grudge Match
John Cena & The Rock vs. The Miz & R-Truth
The Rock and Miz start the match. The Rock… is in the ring… and he’s wrestling. Ho. Lee. Shit. The Rock gets the best of Miz, drops him several times, and catches him with a roll-up pin for a quick two count. Miz rolls to the outside to have a chat with Truth. Miz slides back into the ring, and Truth calls for the tag. “Bring it.” – The Rock. Rock catches Truth with a standing side head lock and slides around back, but Truth gets a standing switch. Rock flips out of the hold and kips up to reverse the pressure. There aren’t words right now. Cena rushes the ring to keep Miz from making the save as Rock hits Truth with a GORGEOUS Fisherman Suplex. Rock bridges and pins Truth, but the referee is distracted by Cena and Miz. Truth finally makes the tag to Miz, and Miz call for Cena. Rock tags Cena, and the crowd damn near boos Cena out of the building. “You can’t wrestle! You can’t wrestle! You can’t wrestle!” Cena tries to wrestle and gest a snap mare takedown followed by a monkey flip out of the corner and a standing drop kick. The crowd does not seem to be impressed. “You still suck! You still suck! You still suck!” Miz makes the tag to Truth, and Truth decides his best option is to thrust his pelvis in Cena’s general direction. Bad idea, Truth. Cena hits the Protobomb and sets up for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but he denies the crowd another chance to boo him by turning and giving the You Can’t See Me to Rock. Rock climbs into the ring and stares down Cena, and that gives Truth the opportunity to attack Cena from behind. Truth tags Miz, and Miz connects with a running low boot to Cena’s face. Miz tags Truth, and Truth goes to the chin lock on the mat. Truth whips Cena to the corner, and Cena posts his shoulder before tumbling out of the ring and down to the arena floor. Truth rolls Cena back into the ring and goes for the cover for a two count. Truth tags Miz, but Miz walks right into an attempted Attitude Adjustment from Cena. Miz escapes and retaliates with his running clothesline in the corner. Truth cheap shots Cena while Miz distracts the referee, and that’s enough for Miz to get another two count. Miz tags Truth, and Truth and Miz hit a sweet double team suplex for yet another two count. Truth locks in a front chancery, but Cena tries to muscle his way to the corner to make the tag. Truth reverses the momentum and rushes Cena all the way across the ring to the opposite corner. Truth tags Miz, and Miz works him over with a volley of jabs in the middle of the ring. Cena finally lands a few shots of his own, but Miz regains control with a clothesline before making the tag to Truth. The Rock hasn’t even considered making a save at any point during this extended beating. Truth drops Cena and heads up top and goes for a flying cross body, but Cena catches Truth, rolls through, and muscles up. Cena tries to get Truth into position for the Attitude Adjustment, but Truth counters and makes the tag to Miz. Miz continues to work over Cena before making the quick tag back to Truth. Truth charges Cena, but Cena FINALLY connects with an attitude adjustment. Cena slowly crawls toward the corner to make the tag, but Miz gets the tag from Truth and rushes across the ring to knock Rock off the ring apron before he can get the tag. Miz locks in a chin lock on Cena as Truth attacks Rock on the outside. Truth gets the tag and goes back to the front chancery as Rock paces on the apron. Whenever Rock does get the tag, it’s going to be HOT. Truth goes for a leg drop, but Cena just manages to roll out of the way. Cena gets to his feet… AND FINALLY MAKES THE TAG TO ROCK! Miz gets the rag from Truth but eats a DDT from Rock. Rock hits Truth with the Rock Bottom and then locks up Miz in the Sharpshooter. Miz tries to get to the ropes, but Rock drags him back to the middle of the ring. Truth rushes the ring and breaks the hold, but Cena tackles him right out of the ring. Miz gets back to his feet and stomps on Rock, but Rock counters with a signature spinebuster. And here it comes… the elbow pad flies into the crowd… THE PEOPLE’S ELBOW! Rock pins Miz and gets the three count.
Match Result: The Rock defeats the Miz with the People’s Elbow.
Match Length: 21:32

After the match, Cena stands on the ramp and applauds Rock’s effort. Rock celebrates in the ring, but Cena doesn’t seem inclined to join him. Rock calls for quiet, and tells Cena to get the hell back into the ring. Cena reluctantly obliges, and it’s clear that there is still a lot of bad blood between Rock and Cena. Rock hits the corner to pop the crowd as Cena watches. “Rocky! Rocky! Rocky!” Cena hits the corner, so of course the crowd boos him. “Boots to asses! Boots to asses! Boots to asses!” Rock has a lot to say to Cena right now, but we can’t hear exactly what he’s saying. Cena stews in the middle of the ring as Rock hits the corner again. Now it’s Cena’s turn to have his say, but we still can’t hear what he’s saying. Cena turns to leave, but Rock swings him around and hits him with the Rock Bottom. Cena rolls out of the ring and stumbles up the ramp as Rock stands tall in the middle of the ring.

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