411’s TNA Impact Wrestling Report 1.05.12

Championship Roll Call:
TNA WORLD TITLE: Bobby Roode
TNA TV TITLE: Robbie E
TNA X-DIVISION TITLE: Austin Aries
TNA KNOCKOUTS TITLE: Gail Kim
TNA TAG TEAM TITLES: Crimson and Matt Morgan
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM TITLES: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne

On tap for the final Impact Wrestling before Genesis!
*Jeff Hardy, James Storm & Abyss vs. World Champion Bobby Roode, Kurt Angle & Bully Ray
*Knockout Tag Team Championship: Knockouts Champion Gail Kim & Madison Rayne(champions) vs. Mickie James & Traci Brooks for the TNA Knockouts Tag Titles.
*Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Finals: AJ Styles & Kazarian vs. Samoa Joe & Magnus
*Rob Van Dam vs. Gunner

Usual DeMarco Disclaimers…
-I’m 99% spoiler free—I know one thing, which I need to know for other 411Mania responsibilities.
-I actually like TNA and want to see them succeed, thus I enter each edition of Impact Wrestling with an open mind and a glass half-full attitude.
-I’m sorta sarcastic, and it will come out during my report!
-Finally, I can promise you that BROCK LESNAR will appear tonight! On Impact…

…well, at least in the Impact Coverage!

Bobby Roode opening video package
Bobby Roode is the World Champion, and he does what he wants! Except when Sting is around…

Opening Promo: Sting, Jeff Hardy…
“The icon” Sting heads to the ring, wearing both sunglasses and gloves indoors. He immediately calls Jeff Hardy to the ring…

Sting is impressed with Jeff Hardy’s ability to build the bridge of trust “one brick at a time…” Sting dealt with his own demons, made his own bad choices and was also given a second chance. Sting sees life coming out of Jeff Hardy, and the creatures are coming out of the woodwork. Wrestlers in the back want to be Jeff Hardy. Sting gives Hardy his 100% endorsement, and Robert Bobby Roode decides that the CHAMP IS HERE! And he’s brought Kurt Angle & Bully Ray with him…

Roode claims he just about threw-up in the back, and reminds what it would have sounded like. He calls Sting out for endorsing a wrestler when he’s supposed to be an authority figure. “Why not me?” Roode asks. Roode is the Cena face of this company. “Why not Kurt Angle?” The Olympic Gold Medalist, multiple time world champ (and the guy who screwed you, Bobby). “Why not this big bad grizzly bear?” Bully Ray poses as Roode points out that Ray has had no title shots. Does Roode want to face Ray? Roode gets in Hardy’s face when The Tennessee Cowboy arrives…with Abyss!

Storm makes some promises, shares a beer with Abyss and thinks Angle is going to relieve himself. Kurt starts to talk, but Abyss jumps ahead in line. He steals Karen Jarrett’s line, and talks about how Immortal disrespected him for months. He says that Immortal needs him, but he doesn’t need them! All he needs is Bully Ray, and he promises to make Ray pay at Genesis in the Monster’s Ball Match. He’ll suffer for all the sins of Immortal.

Sting regains control of the mic, and books the main event that was already announced before the show started. Ta-ta for now!

What does Brock think?

The Knockouts are up next!

[Commercial Break]

Genesis video package brings us back from break.

Knockouts Poolside
Earlier today, Madison poses poolside for the camera, and she and Gail run into Traci in a pool. What are the chances! They try to drown Traci, because going to jail for murder is always a good idea.

What does Brock think of the Knockouts in the pool?

Knockout Tag Team Championship Match
Knockout Champion Gail Kim & Madison Rayne (champions) vs. Mickie James & Traci Brooks
Mickie & Traci won a Knockout Wildcard Tag Team Tournament to earn this shot. Oh yes they did! Okay, maybe not… heck, they didn’t even beat Tara & Brooke Tessmacher! Gail & Madison are pretty close to matching tonight.

Traci and Mickie attack before the bell, and we’ve split up into Gail-Traci and Mickie-Madison. Madison with a beautiful thumb to the eye, but Mickie counters with a neck breaker. Traci tosses Gail in the ring, and Gail is outnumbered! Traci clotheslines Gail down, and enter Madison Rayne. Briefly, that is, as Madison is sent outside for the…

[Commercial Break]

Has Brock made up his mind about the Knockouts yet?

We return with Mickie stomping on Madison in the corner as Gail & Traci have finally retreated to their corners. Gail Kim catches Mickie with a cheapshot from the outside, motivating Traci to run around and drag her to the floor. In the ring, Mickie ducks a kick and sends Madison down into the splits, hitting a dropkick in the process. Earl gets so involved that the announcers acknowledge it. Madison’s clothesline gets a nearfall, and Tenay suggests that Madison got flexibility lessons from Rob Van Dam. Hey, they’re both married! To other people! Lonely nights on the road…

Madison continues to dominate Mickie, but Mickie avoids a face slam and Gail tags in. Traci gets the lukewarm tag herself, and sends Gail down with repeated elbows. Gail attempts Mickie’s neckbreaker, but Traci elbows her down again. Madison attempts to interject, and is met by a Mickie James Thesz press. Gail catches Traci with EatDeFeet, and Mickie can’t break up the pin thanks to Madison.
Winners: Gail Kim & Madison Rayne (Gail pin on Traci) 10:35 (including the break) ***

Yes, ***. Give them credit, it was a good match.

Ric Flair and Gunner Backstage
Flair calls Gunner an impact player, psyching him up for his match with RVD. Sting interjects and decides that Flair isn’t coming out with Gunner, just to keep things fair. Sting and Flair argue a little too much for my taste, as I have no desire to see Flair in the ring again. Sting & Flair will apparently watch from the back. Flair wants Gunner to kill Van Dam as we head to our next…

[Commercial Break.]

Has Brock finally decided his opinion of the Knockouts?

He likes them!

From the comments…

Did Kaz and Tenay just knock Madison for no selling? And did they take a slam at RVD for the same thing while they were at it?
Posted By: the ghost of Buddy Rogers

I was thinking the same thing when I heard it. If I weren’t covering the show live, I would have gone back and listened again. It did come across as strange.

The new year brings new deals at ShopTNA.com!

Eric Young backstage
EY is looking for ODB because he thinks they have a match tonight. A mystery voice informs him that they lost, but he claims it was double elimination. He reiterates that he and ODB are in love.

Wildcard Tag Team Tournament highlight package
Great video promo to put the tournament over, selling the finals tonight. TNA is really good at these videos.

Magnus & Samoa Joe backstage
Magnus speaks, saying they won’t be overlooked anymore. He’s ready. Joe grabs him at the last minute, says “Let’s do this” and shakes his hand.

Kazarian & AJ backstage
Kazarian says they have the chemistry, and AJ says they’re faster and have more trust. Joe & Kazarian looked pretty full of chemistry to me, fellas.

RVD vs. Gunner is NEXT!

[Commercial Break.]

Who would Brock team with in the next Wildcard Tag Team Tournament?

Sting & Garett Bischoff backstage
Garett puts on a ref shirt backstage, and tells he’s back. He wants to ref the next match (Gunner’s, of course), but Sting says no. “You’re not a referee…you’re a wrestler, Garett!” Sting gives him real boots. “Welcome to the roster.” So Sting left Flair alone?

Eric Young & the Knockouts
EY walks in on Gail & Madison, still in gear, and Madison tries to choke him out. Eric puts Madison in a locker.

Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam
Tenay reminds us that Flair is banned from ringside, and that Garett Bischoff is a wrestler, not a ref. He puts over Garett, who isn’t in the match. Tenay & Taz call it smashmouth vs. striker as we start. Gunner sends Rob to the outside, then clothesline him when he comes back in. RVD reverses fortune, and we have a stand-off.

Taz talks about Rob’s tendency to piss his opponents off. I don’t think that was supposed to be a shoot. RVD is outside, and we’re two minutes into the match. That means it’s time for a …

[Commercial Break.]

What does Brock do during commercial breaks?

We return as Gunner has the advantage, driving elbows into Robbie V’s face. Rob comes back with a face kick from the top rope. VINTAGE ROB! Gunner quickly regains the advantage, getting a near fall. Gunner chokes RVD on the middle rope, followed by a chinlock under the bottom rope. Taz disagrees with Tenay, which apparently ruins The Professor’s year. RVD creates some separation, followed by fists and a clothesline in the center of the ring. Spin kick sends Gunner down again, followed by a corner attack, clothesline and a standing moonsault for two. Gunner cuts RVD off, but RVD cuts Gunner off himself. Rolling Thunder by Rob, but he’s too slow to cover and Gunner heads to the outside.

He’s been paying attention to Flair!

Rob heads out, gets caught on the ringskirt and has an ugly landing. Gunner, all alone, pulls back the floor pads himself, and the ref gets to 10.
Winner: Double Countout, 9:47, ***

Gunner tries to kill Rob with a piledriver on the floor, and eats a backdrop to the floor of his own. Rob is on the ring apron, but Gunner avoids the 360 legdrop and Rob eats some railing. Gunner tries to do more damage, but the agents are out! Snow! D-Lo! Simon!

James Storm, Abyss & Jeff Hardy backstage
Storm says they’re not scared. “And we sure is not scared of Robert Roode.” Hardy says Roode keeps running, and tonight is his warm-up. Abyss says he’s gladly out of Immortal. He don’t need Immortal.

Bobby Roode, Bully Ray & Kurt Angle backstage
Roode says nothing will stop them, they have the it-factor. Kurt Angle says he’ll make Storm tap-out. Ray says screw Abyss, then PUTS OVER THE HOUSE-SHOW!

I love Bully Ray…

What does Brock think of Bully Ray putting over the house show?

[Commercial Break.]

Kid Kash & X-Division Champion Austin Aries vs. Zema ion & Jesse Sorensen
Aries hogs the spotlight away from Kash, as he should. Step aside! Sorensen & Ion are out. Neither are old enough to remember the real Zema. Ion does steal Jesse’s football, which is a big no-no. Zema didn’t go to high school, so he didn’t know. It’s okay, Zema. Jesse is all Texas tonight, and Kash is all attitude. Zema and Jesse argue over who will start, so Kash attacks Jesse as we’re underway!

Jesse uickly gains the advantage, and makes Harley Race smile with a high knee. Zema tags himself in, and Vince Russo doesn’t want us to have a great match. Taz mentions Zema’s areola, and The Greatest Man That Ever Lived© tags in. Aries maintains control over Ion, who uses an atomic drop to escape the headlock. Ion pays too much attention to Jesse, and is met with a chop. Ion to the outside…HEAT SEEKING MISSILE! Kash takes some liberties on Ion, sending him back into Aries. Pendulum elbow gets another nearfall for the champ. Ion tags in Jesse, and he hits “a strike” (Tenay didn’t know what to call it either) followed by another Harley Race knee. Kash has Aries’s back, despite their recent PPV encounter. They’re veterans, you know!

Kash & Aries cut off the ring, and I wonder why they weren’t in the Wildcard Tag Team Tournament! Aries back in for the double team, knocking some heads in the process. The ref counts as three men are down, and Ion tags himself in (that was probably for the best anyway). He hits a video game DDT (credit: Taz), followed by a “twisting pin attempt” on Aries. Kash puts Boots To Face on Ion, breaking up the pin. Jesse flies in, taking out both Aries & Kash. Clotheslines for everybody! (Not Ion) Jesse is making Texas proud (credit: Taz), then flies over the top onto Kash. Great camera shot by TNA made that move look huge. Jesse escapes a brainbuster attempt, heading up top when Zema tags back in. Zema takes too long, missing a 450 splash.

Aries takes advantage of the situation, but Sorensen tagged himself in. Sorenson rolls the dice and pins the champ!
Winners: Jesse Sorensen & Zema Ion (Jesse pin on Aries), 6:47, ***

AJ & Kazarian backstage
AJ calls for Kazarian, who comes out of a closed off are in back of their locker room. Kazarian looks a little verklempft as he and AJ runs off. The camera doesn’t move, meaning some secret was in the back room. That secret? Christopher Daniels. Dun-dun-dunnnnnn!

What does Brock think of the shenanigans?

I’m running out of Brock graphics as we go to a…

[Commercial Break.]

Eric Young finds ODB backstage
EY wants to wrestle, but ODB says they’re done. Like March Madness. But Eric reminds her that it’s January. ODB tackles him down, then plants a kiss on him. Eric knew it was love…

Christy Hemme looking good tonight, by the way

Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Finals
Samoa Joe & Magnus vs. AJ Styles & Kazarian
Tenay & Taz argue over their support of Joe 7 Magnus. AJ & Kazarian comes out, and Kaz seems find. I bet Daniels had nude photos of Traci! Wait a minute, everybody has those.

AJ & Joe start things off, as Joe pushes AJ back to the corner. Joe beats AJ down, sending him into the corner with Magnus. The former Brutus tags in, and continues the onslaught. Backbreaker gets two. Joe tags back in, but we don’t get a Arn & Tully comparison. Abdominal stretch “slows AJ down” according to Taz. Pretty much everything Joe & Magnus did slowed him down. The stretch actually lead to AJ’s fast offense! Kazarian in, but Joe quickly regains the advantage. Quick tags continue, and Taz says Joe told him they’re focused on winning. Pretty everybody in the company is, Joe! (Except Eric Young.) Kazarian and AJ start to make some quick tags, and Kazarian scores a two count of his own. AJ is back in, and kicks Magnus in the back.

Another quick tag to Frankie, and the Coolest Man in the Universe eats a clothesline. Magnus & Joe exploit the 5-count (credit: Tenay) and maintain the advantage. Taz calls Joe a Samoan Bathtub. Okay. Knee drop to the chest gets two for Joe on Kazarian. Magnus sends Kazarian into the corner, and the heels are looking great here. Kazarian makes the cold tag to AJ, who takes the fight to Magnus. Springboard Forearm to Magnus, but the Styles Clash fails. The Pele Kick doesn’t, and both men are down.

Christopher Daniels is out and has Kazarian on the floor, not allowing AJ to make the tag. Joe is too much, and “BOOM! next thing you know”, AJ eats the pin (credit: Taz).
Winners: Samoa Joe & Magnus (Joe pin on AJ), 7:00, ***

[Commercial Break.]

What does Brock think of Daniels costing AJ & Kazarian the tag title shot?

Matt Morgan, Crimson, Samoa Joe & Magnus backstage
Basically, the brawl. It’s quickly broken up, and at least we have some heat on the match. An extra week to build that would have helped. But alas… maybe Joe & Magnus can win? Please?

Taz & Tenay run down the Genesis card

TNA News: Gunner vs. Rob Van Dam has officially been added to the Genesis PPV.

Six Man Tag Team Main Event
Jeff Hardy, Abyss & James Storm vs. World Champion Bobby Roode, Bully Ray & Kurt Angle
The canned heat is fierce for this one. FIERCE! Bully Ray nearly fondles Roode on the way out, too. BJ gives us the super crappy special ring announcing.

James Storm & Bully Ray start things off, and Bully quickly retreats to the corner. Such a heel! Bully goes after Abyss, then hides behind the ref. Such a heel! They lock horns, and Bully Ray goes for a cheap shot in the corner. Such a heel! Storm gives it right back to him, since he’s basically a heel who the fans like. Abyss tags in, and Bully Ray tags out. Roode sells the fact that he wants no part of Abyss, and I smile. Abyss gets the advantage, until Bully Ray kicks him from the outside. Abyss is backed into the enemy corner, and Bully Ray goes to work. Abyss is in trouble as we take a break.

[Commercial Break. Don Cheadle = Ratings!]

Christy Hemme is hotter than any other chick in TNA or WWE.
what does brock think about that (and knees to the stomach)?
Posted By: Slickback Ivanhoe

We return from break as Kurt Angle kicks The Monster (who was weakened by the heels during the break…the faces ate hot dogs). Roode & Angle fall to an Abyss clothesline as James Storm is in and ON-FIRE! Storm gets his hands on Angle, giving us a preview of Genesis. Roode charges Storm, but eats a boot, giving us a preview of Lockdown. Bully Ray interjects, and Storm is down. Roode continues the attack on his former partner. Bully Ray takes over on Storm, who is taking a beating. Storm’s concussion is brought up, surprisingly. Big vertical Suplex by Ray on Storm gets two.

Storm gets a side Russian leg-sweep on Angle, and Hardy & Roode are tagged in! the main event of Genesis explodes on Impact Wrestling! Hardy gets the better of the champ, but Bully Ray breaks up the pin after the Twist of Hate Fate. This match is breaking down as all six man are in the ring. Hebner calls for the bell.
Winners: No Contest, 12:29, ***

The battle continues as each PPV pair does battle independently. Hardy nails the Twist of Fate on Roode, followed up by the Swanton Bomb? Nope. Bully Ray sends him down to the canvas, but Storn attacks Roode, setting up for the Last Call Superkick. Angle stops it, and Storm goes down. Abyss attacks Angle & Roode, and Bully Ray cheap shots him in the knee with a chain. Everyone is paired off again as Ray sends Abyss over the top. Ray chokes him with a chain as Angle lands an Angle slam on Storm. Roode has Hardy in the crossface, Ray is choking Abyss and Angle has the Ankle Lock on Storm as Tenay reminds us to GET READY FOR GENESIS.

Roll credits!

What does Brock think of the great wrestling on Impact tonight?

DeMarco’s Knee Jerk Reaction
This was a great edition of TNA Impact Wrestling. I’d give it an 8. Yes, an 8. I have each match three snowflakes, and everything but EY & ODB built to Genesis (the Fortune Soap Opera counts as it lead to the finish of the Wildcard Tag Team Tournament Finals). While we did have some less than ideal finishes, they made sense within the storylines. Show was great in my opinion.

Read tonight’s Low End Theory in the Music section!
Tony Acero’s worked very hard on it, and you will love it!

Friday night at 10 PM eastern, join Larry Csonka and Steve Cook!

RAIN (formerly TNA’s Ms. Peyton Banks) joins the program!

(Yes, I have an agenda!)