411’s Impact Wrestling Report 1.19.12

Championship Roll Call:
TNA WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP: Bobby Roode
TNA X-DIVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Austin Aries
TNA TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Crimson and Matt Morgan
TNA KNOCKOUTS CHAMPIONSHIP: Gail Kim
TNA KNOCKOUTS TAG TEAM CHAMPIONSHIP: Gail Kim and Madison Rayne
TNA TELEVISION CHAMPIONSHIP: Robbie E

Opening Video Package
We get a recap of Bobby Roode retaining his title at Genesis, the set-up for last week’s rematch, and Bully Ray’s interference.

Opening Promo
“Sorry ‘bout your damn luck!” James Storm enters the Impact Zone. Storm says it feels good to be in the Impact Zone as the #1 Contender. Well, that does make it a little better. He says he beat the world’s best, and now Bobby Roode has to face him at Against All Odds. All he has to saw to Bobby? Sorry ‘bout your damn..Jeff Hardy? The Charismatic Enigma enters the Impact Zone.

Hardy got screwed on PPV, and he got screwed last week. It worked for Lita! Hardy says no one gets a shot until he has his final encounter. Storm points out that he himself got screwed when he was the World Champion. Robert Bobby Roode’s music starts, and everyone not named Jeff Hardy takes notice.

Bobby Roode thinks we should all get along—for once. Roode is flattered about them fighting over him. Roode reminds us that Sting said the winner of Angle-Storm would face the winner of Roode-Hardy. Well you see, James, there was no winner in that main event. Thus, his #1 Contendership is null & void. And c’mon Jeff, you’ve had two opportunities, and both times you failed! Basically, Roode isn’t giving anyone a shot. And on cue, here comes the man who can actually grant title shots, Der Stingerhoffer himself.

Sting points out that Bobby found another loophole, and calls him clever. Sting has plans to fix “all that” tonight with a #1 Contender’s match tonight. Wait, Storm’s win really is null & void? What?! Sting books James Storm vs. Jeff Hardy—a PPV quality match, for tonight. So Storm gets screwed? Should he turn heel? Nope, he shakes hands with Hardy as the announcers sell the match.

Later tonight, Madison Rayne vs. Mickie James inside the confines of an unforgiving steel cage!

[Commercial Break.]

Hey special guest Chris Jericho, what do you think about James Storm being screwed out of his #1 Contendership?

Gunner (w/Ric Flair) vs. AJ Styles
Flair struts on the way out. Gunner blows…literally. Hey, they’re both from Georgia! Did they carpool to the airport? Fan: “AJ! Who is facing Gunner tonight?” AJ: “I am. I am.” Lock-up to start, and AJ backs Gunner into the corner. We get a clean break, and Gunner takes exception. Gunner’s gimmick is Mr. Intensity, but AJ seems to be the intense one tonight. Old school backslide by AJ gets two. Continuity shows up as we point out that Flair used to manage AJ. Good stuff. Beautiful dropkick by AJ Styles! Gunner heads outside like a good little heel, and gets some dap from Flair. If this were Raw, we’d go to commercial.

Back in and Gunner takes over with clubbing forearms to AJ, followed by a suplex for one. Gunner kicks the back of AJ repeatedly, followed by a waistlock of death. Adding “of death” makes it more painful. AJ fights out, but telegraphs a backdrop. AJ east a Triple H knee from Gunner. Another near fall for Mr. Intensity, but AJ continues to fight back. Gunner sends AJ to the corner, charges and east a Styles boot. Trademark AJ offense as Christopher Daniels and Kazarian are out. Daniels is bossing Kaz around. Flair is running interference, and Kazarian clotheslines AJ to the mat. Gunner capitalizes with a DDT for three.
Winner: Gunner (pinfall, DDT), 4:44, ***

Gunner takes matters to the floor, and exposes the concrete floor. AJ fights out, hops the rail and walks away. We still don’t know why Kazarian is doing this, and it looks like Kazarian doesn’t either.

Magnus backstage promo
Magnus cuts a good promo, but is interrupted but Crimson who insists on *bleeping* all over the place. Magnus faces Crimson…TONIGHT!

[Commercial Break.]

Hey Chris, what’s up with Kazarian, bro?

Angelina Love backstage
Gross Eric Young touched her, and she hated it. Thus, she obviously wants to wrestle him. Makes sense to me.

Bully Ray talks to Sting
Ray talks about not losing since becoming a singles wrestler, and he deserves a world title shot. He says Sting will give it to him tonight. Sting makes fun of how Ray talks, and says…no. Someone is sneaking around backstage as Sting tells Bully Ray he needs an appointment next time. And Ray isn’t happy.

Magnus vs. “The Undefeated” Crimson
Magnus looks on, unimpressed as Amazing Red’s little brother shows off his belt. Magnus is quick to attack, and the people seem to want to boo Crimson. And I don’t blame them. Magnus gets two…two times. Crimson eats turnbuckle…two times. Crimson quickly reverses things and hits the Red Sky out of nowhere (VINTAGE CRIMSON!) for three.
Winner: Crimson (pinfall, Red Sky) 1:03, *1/2

Samoa Joe is in, and attacks Crimson from behind. Magnus joins in, and it takes Matt Morgan forever to make the save. Probably busy shooting a Direct Auto commercial. The “heels” overwhelm Morgan as well, and we get out snapmare/flying elbow combo. The canned heat is HUGE for those two! Seriously, they’re being booed out of the arena, but every single fan on TV isn’t doing anything.

Eric Young backstage
Young thinks out loud about being in the cage with Mickie & Madison, but he doesn’t fight girls. A caterer sees him, and doesn’t want to wrestle. She’s been there for 5 or 10 years, she’s not sure. Young drives home the point that he doesn’t fight women, until ODB shows up and classes up the joing. “You gonna feed her a hot dog tonight?” Meh. ODB promises that if Young does a number on Angelina, she’ll do a number on him.

[Commercial Break.]

Last Thursday…
Garett Bischoff stood up to his dad, Eric, in a promo that actually impressed me. I still think he has an outside shot at success. They show the tease of Garett’s new trainer. He’s all orange & stuff. We follow this up with Eric’s negative voice over about Garett while we watch Garett train. I still think Garett looks more like Kazarian’s little brother than Eric bischoffs son.

At Genesis…
Madison Rayne was locked in a cage by Velvet Sky, but still interfered. Thus, Sting puts her into a bigger cage, against Mickie James…tonight! THAT CAGE IS ON FIRE, PEOPLE!

Madison Rayne & Gail Kim backstage…
Madison Rayne is freaking out, and Gail wants her to calm down. Gail gives her a pep-talk.

And that was YOUR garbage segment of the night!

[Commercial Break.]

Uh, oh! Jericho has a live mic! Pipebomb?

Nope.

Steel Cage Match
Mickie James vs. Madison Rayne
In a nice touch, Mickie appears to be wearing the same outfit from her last cage match in Impact Wrestling. Madison wears her half of the Knockouts tag titles, just to make sure the bookers remember they exist. Madison gets in the cage, and Gail decides to watch from the back. Okay, Earl might have had something to do with that. Mickie starts fast on Madison, and we have holes in the cage for the camera men that are biggest for Madison to crawl through. Brutal powerbomb by Mickie! Interesting camerawork as Mickie works over Madison with a boot in the corner. Dropkick gets two for Mickie.

Mickie applies a half-nelson choke, and Madison is fading fast! Mickie sends Madison into the corner as we take a ‘lil break.

[Commercial Break.]

Hey Chris, who was responsible for the creative camera work with Mickie in the corner?

We return from break and Mickie is still beating Madison down in the corner. At least it’s a different coner. Madison gets one shot in. One. Neck snap over rope sends Mickie’s head into the cage, and Madison now has the advantage. And she screams about it! Suplex/Neckbreaker combo by Rayne, but Mickie kicks out at 2.5. More creative camera work from Jericho TNA as Madison pulls some hair. Taz says “Vintage Madison Rayne” as Madison slams Mickie’s head into the mat with the reverse head scissors. Madison locks in a rear chinlock. Knee to the gut on Mickie ends her brief comeback.

Madison continues the onslaught, but Mickie gets a deparation neckbreaker and both ladies are down. Madison’s faux mesh top is quite the tease, huh? We’re pullin’ hair and slammin’ heads! Forearm staggers Madison, and Mickie takes her down with a trio of forearms. Madison reverses the flapjack attempt with a good ol’ fashioned eye-rake. Cocky pin doesn’t get three for Madison. Madison continues the screaming as she chokes Mickie. I never liked when rules are enforced in a cage. Madison eats some cage! Injury-DDT by Mickie gets three.
Winner: Mickie James (pinfall, DDT), 12:22, ***

Austin Aries backstage
Austin Aries talks about talking about what he’s going to talk about. Awesome.

Still to come: Storm vs. Hardy…TONIGHT!

[Commercial Break.]

Mickie James celebrates backstage
Mickie celebrates with Tara & Velvet backstage. Mickie intends to bring the belt home to Hardcore Countryland. Trolls be damned. The girls go get some champagne.

Chris! Which way did they go?

Jeff Hardy “moments ago”
Hardy doesn’t feel like a winner after beating Roode. Wrestling isn’t fair, what would be fair would be Hardy vs. Roode, No DQ—but he has to fight Storm first.

Austin Aries video package
Aries voices over a video package asking for competition. Something tells me a familiar foe will sho wup in response. Then he’s live again, saying he might retire as champion. Now he’s headed ot th erring.

Promo time with the class of the X-Division, Austin Aries
The Greatest X-Division Champ That Ever Lived hits the ring, as Aries gets real heat by telling the crowd to keep it down. It’s hard for A-Double to be humble, since there’s no one in Impact Wrestling in his league. He’s right, you know. The fans say he sucks, but he’s still the champ. Now they chant his name, and he turns them against him rather quickly. Aries is taking his act on the road, until the Motor City Machine Guns music starts up…

Alex Shelley is here, with his trademark…um…hair. Yeeeeeeaaaaahhhh. Shelley missed everyone there, except for Aries. He separated his shoulder one year ago, four months later he returns and Chris Sabin tears his ACL & MCL. His life revolves around wrestling, but he was going to wait for Sabin because the tag team division needs them. He’s right, you know. But he couldn’t stand to watch Aries on PPV, because he “couldn’t beat the piss out of a urine soaked sponge.” Aries asks if any men are in the back, and Shelley takes exception. Shelley got Sabin’s blessing, and he’s back for Aries. Aries owns Shelley on the mic, and tells him to go back home and wait for Sabin to come back.

Shelley points out that if he’s no threat, then Aries shouldn’t mind defending against him. Aries backpedals, and Aries tells him to earn it. Aries isn’t scared of him (just his hairdo), but wants him to earn it. He says to pick someone Aries already beat (which is everyone), and if he wins, he can have a shot. Shelley ups the ante, and tells Aries to pick the opponent. And if Alex Shelley wins, he gets a shot at Against All Odds.

ODB backstage
ODB says he wants Eric Young to rip Angelina Love in half. She says some other—off color—stuff, too. Winter isn’t happy (why should she be?), and she beats the crap out of ODB. It earns her some canned heat, but it should really make her a face! ODB basically said she wants her pseudo boyfriend to rape Angelina Love.

[Commercial Break.]

Excuse me, Mr. Jericho, what did you think of ODB’s antics & language?

Yup, me too.

Angelina Love (w/Winter) vs. Eric Young (w/out ODB)
I hate this match already, and it hasn’t even started yet. I’m surprised Vince Russo didn’t make it a Ham Sandwich on a Pole Match—but Angelina would obviously forfeit. Nashville Tennessee’s own Eric Young heads to the ring! Nashville? Okay.

Eric Young locks up with Slick Johnson, then does a cartwheel. Oh joy! Angelina Love controls the center of the ring, and Eric is conflicted. It’s okay, she’s a five time (Five Time! Five Time! Five Time! Five Time! Five Time!) Knockouts Champion! Now Eric tries to shake hands, but Angelina refuses. So Eric wrestles the ref again, pushing him into Angelina. Eric puts a five count on the ref. Bah. Low blow by Angelina in the “man-bag” (thanks, Taz) and Winter lays the boots to Eric. Here comes ODB! Her efforts are futile, as Angelina takes her down. Winter takes off her whip, but Eric stops her and has no problem sending Winter & Angelina to the outside. This earns him cheers from the fans. ODB kisses Eric Young in the ring, and the announcers say the match was thrown out, when it obviously should have been a DQ.
Announced Winner: No Contest, 1:51, -*
Proper Winner: Eric Young, DQ, 1:51, -*
Loser: All of us who had to watch that, 1:51, -*

James Storm outside
Storm plans to win tonight, nothing for Jeff Hardy, just wants to show that he can be the World Heavyweight Champion for this damn company.

[Commercial Break.]

Against All Odds commercial featuring…Mr. Anderson? Hey, Chris, do you see Anderson in TNA these days?

Neither do we, Chris, neither do we.

#1 Contender’s Match
James Storm (#1 Contender) vs. Jeff Hardy
Super special ring announcing by Jeremy Borash…just to remind us that UFC on FX 1 is tomorrow night. JB points out that Storm & Hardy weighed in “this morning.” Why? They weren’t booked in matches as of “this morning!” Brian Hebner is your referee, and calls for the bell. Both men follow the Code of Honor. Storm takes the early control with a headlock, and Hardy fights up—only to be taken down again. Hardy escapes and gets a headlock of his own. Now Storm is fighting up, but escapes and gets Hardy into a head scissors instead. Arm drag by Hardy, and he acknowledges Jericho’s involvement by locking in the ARMBAR! Headlock by Storm, to the ropes, and Hardy goes down to the elbow. Hardy’s quickness gains him the advantage, and he nearly goes low. Corner dive misses for Hardy, and both men are down. We’ve reached the 2:30 mark, so it’s obviously time for a…

[Commercial Break.]

We’re back at 7:00 as Hardy sends Storm to the outside, and connects with a dive to the floor! Tenay & Taz talk about Abyss’s whereabouts. Someplace Samoa Joe is crying. He was missing for MONTHS before anyone cared. Back inside and Storm gets a slingshot suplex for two. Next week Mickie James will have a three way…match with Tara & Velvet Sky for the Against All Odds Knockouts title shot. James Storm maintains control, but Hardy gets the side-Russian legsweep. Hardy roll-up nearly gets two. Whisper in the Wind! Two. Hardy goes with the rear chinlock to keep Storm down. Hey, you can’t hit the Last Call Superkick down on the mat. And Tenay says the same thing! Great minds, Mike…er, wait. Scratch that. Storm goes back on the offensive, EYE OF THE STORM?!?! Hardy escapes, but Storm keeps the advantage for two.

The crowd is decidedly in favor of Hardy here—see, they ARE stupid. Storm measures Hardy for the Last call, Hardy catches the foot. Stunner of Fate! Shirt comes off and Hardy goes up, but Storm cuts him off before the dive. Storm up top, Super-Duper Plex? Nope. Hardy sends Storm down, but Storm jumps up and kicks Hardy, who is still on the top. Storm back up…SUPER DUPER PLEX! Both men are down as (Brian) Hebner starts the count. Storm drapes an arm over Hardy, and Bully Ray is in to attack the ref! He has the chain, and whips Storm with it. Some for Hardy as well. (Earl) Hebner is out, and Bully Ray has some for him as well. Bully drinks Storm’s beer, and spits at The Tennessee Cowboy before whipping both men some more. More referee violence ensues, and here comes The Baseball Bat! (with Sting) Sting attacks Rey, then chases him to the back.

Apparently the match is still on, good thing I didn’t stop the stopwatch. Now Robert Bobby Roode is in to attack both competitors with belt shots! No one wants there to be a winner! Roode has a mic, and declares this match a no-contest. The he announces HIMSELF as the champ. His music plays, so I guess he’s the winner…
Announced Winner: Bobby Roode (proclamation) 16:22, NR
Likely Result: No contest (Bully Ray attacks both competitors) 13:57, ***

After seeing this, Chris, would you consider TNA as an option for your career?

I’ll take that as a “no.”

Thanks for watching, tune in next week as Greg DeMarco recaps MORE Impact Wrestling!

“HOWEVER!!!! DE MARCO!!!!! The special guest should have been THE HORSEMEN!!!!
Posted By: Guest#3186 (Guest)”

Wait for it…wait…The Horsemen debut in the Impact Wrestling live recap…NEXT WEEK!