wrestling / TV Reports

411’s WWE Smackdown Report 3.15.13

March 15, 2013 | Posted by Michael Benjamin

Michael Benjamin here with another Smackdown recap. I have nothing relevant or witty to say so…

SHOW… ON!

Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: The Rock
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: Antonio Cesaro
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: Kane & Daniel Bryan


WWE Smackdown Report 3.15.13

– Then. Now. Forevz.

– Brad Maddox will be joining us on commentary for another three man booth this week, alongside Michael Cole and Josh Matthews.

Sheamus and Randy Orton vs. Team Rhodes Scholars

We’re kicking off the show with some wrestling action and I couldn’t be happier. Well I could… but AJ Lee wouldn’t go for it. Apparently, Brad Maddox booked this match. I have a feeling he’s going to take credit for everything as the night rolls on. Sheamus and Cody Rhodes circle to start us off before Sheamus quickly applies a side headlock takeover. Cody tags in Damien Sandow, who has as good of luck as Cody Rhodes did. Brad Maddox and Michael Cole have VERY good chemistry on commentary. Brad’s gimmick makes Cole pretty bareable. Damien sneaks out of the White Noise only to end up on the apron for the TEN COUNT CLUBBERING~! Cody breaks that up and all three men are brawling on the outside. Cole pretty much writes off the Cody/Kaitlyn story on commentary by mentioning that Cody and Damien are totes into the Bella Twins now. Cody hits a HUGE Disaster Kick off of the announce table on Sheamus. That was awesome. It looked more like a 180 degree leg drop AKA my favorite springboard move that can be equipped in WWE 13.

–Commercial Break–

We’re back as Sandow and Rhodes isolate Sheamus in their corner. Damien locks in an overhead sleeper and Sheamus scurries to an empty corner for the rope break. The announcers are putting over Damien’s new aggressive streak. Like I said last week, EVERYBODY is on a fucking aggressive streak right now. It’s either a great way to sell the importance of Mania or a lazy one. Or both. HOT TAG! Orton’s in the match for the first time and he delivers a couple of clotheslines and a powerslam to Cody Rhodes. Orton hits a NICE T-Bone suplex! The announcers notice the addition to Orton’s repetoire in a refreshing bit of commentary. He continues the assault with a DDT off of the second rope. Damien comes in to make the save but Sheamus delivers the Brogue! Randy and Cody are all alone and BOOM GOES THE DYNAMITE! Orton hits the RKO for the win in a solid opening contest.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Randy Orton and Sheamus @ 5:03 via pinfall
RATING: **1/2

– HERE COMES THE SHIELD. Orton and Sheamus are standing their ground but Ambrose, Rollins and Reigns are nowhere to be found, despite their music playing. Instead, they’re on the tron. “Randy… Sheamus… Relax. You don’t have to be afraid” says Dean Ambrose. He says that the ring Randy and Sheamus are standing in is his. Shit, when they run down all of the names they’ve demolished, it’s pretty impressive. I’d argue that an act hasn’t been booked this strong for as long since Lesnar debuted. Rollins says that the biggest injustice is that they don’t have a match at Mania. They challenge Randy, Sheamus and a partner of their choice to a match a Wrestlemania. Randy and Sheamus oblige. This was a solid way to start the show and officially book a Wrestlemania match.

– We run down the card for tonight. We have Henry vs. Ryback and Jericho vs. Swagger on the way. I’m intrigued.

–Commercial Break–

– FAN… DAN… GOOOO (GOOO, Gooo, Go, Go, Go, Go)

RAW REBOUND: We get a recap of Lesnar demolishing the New Age Outlaws with F5’s and Paul Heyman accepting Triple H’s challenge for a Wrestlemania match- only if Brock gets to name the stipulation AFTER Triple H signs the contract. Hell in a Cell?

– Sheamus and Randy Orton are paling it up backstage as Big Show walks up to them. Show says that it would appear as if they need a partner for Mania. It looks like he’s going to continue with his heel alignment after Mania. But wait! Sheamus says that they’ve already picked “him”. He points off camera as we pan to Ryback breathing heavily. Show storms off.

–Commercial Break–

Aksana & Tamina vs. Layla & Kaitlyn

Tamina and Layla start us off. Tamina pushes her off and Layla’s neck snaps against the bottom rope and the ring post. Layla delivers an Irish whip but Tamina reverses with a toe kick to the face followed by a stiff short armed clothesline for TWO! Aksana in, and she Irish whips Kaitlyn into the corner before tagging Aksana in again. Michael Cole mentions that the Bella’s are back and Maddox says that we can thank him for that. Of course. Aksana goes for a quick roll up and only gets two! Brad takes credit in Kaitlyn’s success. The Funkadactyls are watching on! Kaitlyn and Aksana are in after a ROOM TEMPERATURE TAG. Layla attacks Kaitlyn from the apron in a totes heel move. Kaitlyn doesn’t let that shit catch her up though. Kaitlyn hits a nice shoulder block on Aksana before hitting a reverse neck breaker for two. Tamina is on the ropes talkin’ smack and Kaitlyn pushes Aksana into her! Layla’s in and she hits the cross body and a latteral press for the victory.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Layla @ 3:12 aired via pinfall
RATING: 1/2*

– The Bellas and The Funkadactyls get into an altercation backstage. It’s kind of crazy that a Divas tag feud is the most interesting thing going on in said division with Wrestlemania right around the corner. Also I’m not going to lie, I got far too distracted trying to figure out which Bella Daniel Bryan’s banging and which one John Cena’s banging. Conclusion: Both men win.

–Commercial Break–

– They air a pretty sweet Undertaker/CM Punk Raw recap video. I think that Punk and Undertaker are going to deliver a performance beyond all expectations. Or maybe the production team just has me all excited again. Too soon to tell.

–Commercial Break–

Kane (w/ Daniel Bryan) vs. Dolph Ziggler (w/ AJ and Big E Langston)

This pretty much confirms their plans for the tag titles at Mania. At first, I felt like Dolph Ziggler should be doing something more important on the grandest stage of them all. Then I realized that he’s going to be in the ring against Daniel Bryan and Kane… while holding the MITB briefcase. He’ll be just fine. I can see that match playing the “Wrestlemania 22 opener role” this year. Kane corners Ziggler right out of the gate and delivers some stiff looking knees to his mid-section. Kane’s stomping away on Ziggler as the announcers point out that Kane is more aggressive right now. Maddox mentions that he puts up 350 on the bench as Ziggler fights back. He hits the ropes but Kane delivers a big boot that stops Ziggler dead in his tracks. Kane follows up with a nice scoop slam. Kane gets back body dropped over the top rope but Ziggler lands feet first on the apron! He climbs to the top rope and nails a nice dropkick on Kane. TWO COUNT! Ziggler’s not very happy about all of these kickouts and what not so he drops like eleven elbows until he locks on a side headlock. Kane lifts him up and tosses him across the ring in a rather over dramatic way to escape a simple submission. Dolph Ziggler hits a HUGE DDT on Kane for the two count. Kane delivers a huge suplex for two. He follows up with a clothesline and a sideslam. Dolph locks in a sleeper out of nowhere! Kane powers out and delivers an uppercut to Ziggler mid-air. Kane goes upstairs and hits his patented clothesline! AJ gets on the apron while Daniel Bryan and Big E Langston brawl on the outside! Langston disposes of Bryan and Kane disposes of Langston! Kane rolls back into the ring and gets hit with a Fame-asser and a Zig Zag! It’s over! Dolph Ziggler picks up a huge victory on the road to Wrestlemania! It was a pretty good match to boot, something Ziggler has trained us to expect from him.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Dolph Ziggler @ 6:45 via pinfall
RATING: **1/2

– Post match, Big E saves Ziggler from a beat down and destroys Kane. I wonder if AJ gets grossed out with Dolph’s extremely wet hair always dripping on her.

– We get a new parody video by Alberto Del Rio and Ricardo Rodriguez. This one’s about “borders”. Yay. The border in question? Oh, the Canadian border. Canadians are smuggling maple syrup into America. This sucked hard. Out of all of the main events, this one clearly has the least star power. Creative needs to kick this thing into overdrive.

– Jericho throws some verbal jabs at Jack Swagger in the locker room. Jack threw some verbal jabs back. We’re gonna somebody to clean up all of these verbal jabs that were thrown all over the locker room.

– FAN… DAN… GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

–Commercial Break

– The Great Khali and Natalya are dancing in the ring, awaiting Fandango’s singles debut. All Khali has to do is pronounce his name, right? Yes! Not only can Khali not dance properly, but he can’t pronounce Fandango correctly. “YOU ARE FANDANGO. I KNOW YOU. YOU ARE FANDANGO.” Fandango gives him a quick syllable by syllable walkthrough of the pronounciation of Fandango but Khali just can’t seem to get it right. Fandango is REALLY starting to grow on me. He’s literally doing everything he can possibly do with what he’s been given.

–Commercial Break–

– We’re back from break and we get a video package covering the Rock/Cena rivalry. Cena’s serious promo really helped this feud feel important, more so than the WWE Championship being involved ever could I’d argue. Maybe Cena should just be serious more often? “At Wrestlemania… I will beat you again.” Great closing quote from Rock in the video package.

– Backstage, Matt Striker announces that Booker T has made it official. Sheamus, Orton, and Ryback will wrestle the Shield at Wrestlemania. Sheamus and Orton are standing by with Striker. Before Sheamus can even get a couple of sentences out, the Shield savagely ambushes the two of them backstage.

–Commercial Break–

– Backstage, Ryback is checking on Sheamus and Orton. Booker T is on the scene as well. He tells Ryback that he has the situation under control. Ryback needs to get to the ring for his match with Mark Henry right now!

Mark Henry vs. Ryback

Here we go! The big men stare each other down to start before locking up in the center of the ring. The crowd is FIRMLY behind Ryback. Ryback actually appears to be winning the grapple contest before the Shield’s music hits! Aw shit! Here they come!

OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest @ 1:30 via Shield
RATING: **1/2

– The Shield go to work on Ryback and Henry bails to the outside! Ryback is clearing the fucking ring! Henry still wants some from Ryback! He distracts Ryback momentarily and the trio pounces. The Shield beat the hell out of Ryback as Henry calmly looks on from the outside. IT’S POWERBOMB TIME! The Shield hit their triple powerbomb on Ryback (again) to a chorus of boos. I hope that these three men can maintain momentum after Wrestlemania.

– Henry is halfway down the ramp before deciding he isn’t done with Ryback! World’s Strongest Slam by Henry! So where ARE they going with the Mania card? Do they even know? I feel like they’re leaving everything open enough to change last minute.

– We get a recap of The Shield totally demolishing Sheamus and Orton, followed by Henry ruining Ryback in the middle of the ring.

–Commercial Break–

OFFICIAL RESULT: No Contest @ 1:30 via pinfall
RATING: **1/2

Jack Swagger (w/ Zeb Coulter) vs. Chris Jericho

This should be a fun one. Here we go! 9:02. A Y2J chant breaks out as soon as the bell rings. The two grapple, with Swagger cornering Jericho into a stalemate. Jericho gets shoulder thrusted into another corner before the ref breaks it up. Josh Matthews mentions that Jack Swagger won Money in the Bank three years ago and I feel old and withering. Jericho lifts Swagger over the top rope onto the apron and delivers a nice assisted dropkick as we head to our last commercial break.

–Commercial Break–

Swagger’s in control, like most heels are, when we return from commercial break. Maddox has been counting and Michael Cole has said “indeed” seventeen times so far tonight. Thank god for Maddox. Swagger digs his knee into the neck of Jericho before locking in another side headlock. The piped in crowd is booing like crazy as the live crowd sits on their hands. Coulter looks concerned. Jericho powers out and goes for a roll up for two. Jericho manages to maintain control for a moment before Swagger reverses an Irish whip and sends Jericho to the mat. Swagger hits a belly to belly for TWO!

–Commercial Break–

Swagger has Jericho in a nearfall predicament as we return from commercial break! Swagger catches a kick and drops Jericho gut first on the mat before attempting a gut wrench powerbomb. Jericho bails and goes for the Walls of Jericho! Swagger ESCAPES THAT and locks Jericho in the Patriot Act in the middle of the ring; Jericho REVERSES THAT and locks him in the Walls! Coulter distracts Jericho and the hold is dropped. Jericho hits Swagger with a nice drop kick before sending him shoulder first into the steps on the outside. He follows up by rolling him back into the ring. Instead of going for a pin, Jericho goes upstairs and connects with a cross body! 2.9999! Jericho makes it to his feet but Swagger sends him face first into the middle turnbuckle! Jericho attempts a Code Breaker but Swagger escapes! Gutwrench suplex! 1… 2… 3! It’s over! This was a pretty good main event.

OFFICIAL RESULT: Jack Swagger @ 16:45 via pinfall
RATING: ***

OVERALL: Tonights Smackdown was actually one of the more exciting ones since I began reviewing them in December. The Wrestlemania card is being built up well and they’re still managing to deliver quality wrestling. Thumbs up from this guy.

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