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411’s WWE RAW Report 6.10.13
Welcome to 411’s LIVE WWE Raw Report 6.10.13
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: John Cena
World Champion: Dolph Ziggler
US Champion: The Shield’s Dean Ambrose
IC Champion: Wade Barrett
Unified Diva’s Champion: Kaitlyn
WWE World Tag Team Champions: The Shield’s Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
Hello, you sexy sons of bitches! I’m baaaaaacccckkkk!!! Due to some unforseen circumstances, you’re stuck with the AJ Lovin, mean-muggin, Dew chuggin son of a gun, Tony Acero! Love me or hate me, we’re here for three hours! Let’s get the show started!
We begin with the beginning of last RAW! Yay! We also get some intense music backing Triple H and his triumphant denials of love and care from wife and Father in Law. We end on Triple H’s promise to be in the ring next Monday (tonight), and as promised, Triple H’s music hits! The crowd goes green as Lemmy giggles, and Trips is in-ring ready. It looks like we’re going to have us a match to start the show!
The crowd is firmly behind the H’s as Axel takes his time to enter the ring. The bell hits and Trips kicks him in the gut then gets Axel in the corner with some soupbones. The ref breaks it up, but Trips pushes and stomps Axel a bit. Robinson tries to hold him off aain, but Trips hits a nice lookin suplex and pins for 1. Triple H pinches the nerves of Axel as Vince McMahon’s music hits! Say whaaaaa
Triple H has a side headlock on Axel, staring at Vince the entire time, as Vinnie walks down the ramp and around the ring. Whip to the ropes and Axel hits a shoulder block then gets tossed over the ropes like nothing. Vince goes to the corner, rings the bell, and tells Justin Roberts he stinks, and also makes him say that Triple H is DQ’d and Axel wins the match…
Official Result: Curtis Axel via DQ
RATING: NR
Vince power walks back up the ramp, completely ignoring the yells of Triple H. Heyman giggles on the corner. Triple H leaves the ring and wants a restart to the match…alrighty, then.
Lockup to start, into another sideheadlock…and McMahon powerwalks down the ramp yet again. Triple H hits the ropes, and a shoulder block of his own, as Axel heads to the corner. The crowd chants YOU SUCK and McMahon rings the bell then has Roberts announce that Axel wins now, due to a forfeit.
Official Result: Curtis Axel via foreit
RATING: NR
Triple H leaves the ring yet again, and asks Roberts – yet again – to restart the match…as a 60-minute Iron Man match. Oh, you’re just fucking with me, now…
Before the official match can start, Vince comes staggering back and heading over to Roberts. Triple H stares him down. McMahon asks Curtis to leave the ring. Out goes Curtis with his two wins, and grabs the bell. He tells Roberts to get another microphone and the time keeper to get another bell. hahahahaha. McMahon walks away with the bell and microphone.
We get some graphics of upcoming events such as a Ryback and Cena face off, and Cole hilariously announces Kaitlyn’s secret admirer’s intentions to reveal himself just as a Kane graphic shows up on the screen. It is, of course, to advertise the match with him and Ambrose later, but still made me chuckle.
We are backstage, and Triple H is yelling at Steph. He claims that Vince crossed the line and that was so embarrassing. Steph agrees, but pleas for “Paul” not to hurt him. He’s not getting any younger, she says, and wants Triple H to remember yesterday with Vince in the pool when he was squirting their kids. She fake cries and Triple H says that if he talks to him, it’s not going to end well, so Steph should go talk to him. I remember crying Steph…I hated her.
I love how Rollins and Reigns accompany Ambrose out then walk to the back, knowing full well Ambrose can handle himself. It’s the little things, amirite?! No bell for the match,
And we start with Ambrose sending Kane to the corner, only for Kane to reverse it then run into an elbow. Ambrose hits the ropes and runs into a boot. Pin for 1 from Kane. Kane with a dropkick and another pin. 1. Lame semds Ambrose to the corner and hits a right, then a knee. Ambrose reverses it with some shoulder blocks then scrapes Kane’s face across the ropes…but he has a mask.
Anywhoo, Ambrose hits the ropes, but Kane catches him and hits a back breaker. Kane turns Ambrose around and drops a knee to the back of Ambrose. Kick to the face, and an uppercut sends Ambrose into the corner. Kane with a whip to other corner, and it’s a tough one, sendin Ambrose to his knees. Kane with a side backbreaker then attempts a submission, stretching Ambrose across the knee. Out comes another ref with the ring bell. haha. Headbutts in the ring and Ambrose hits the ropes, only to be sent to the outside. Kane follows and we get some uppercuts on the outside! Kane tries to send Ambrose into the steps headfirst, but Ambrose blocks, then jumps off of them into another uppercut! “Let’s Go Ambrose” chant as we go to a commercial.
We are back, live, and Ambrose is in control! He’s got a reverse chin lock to the kneed Kane. Kan with some lefts to break out of it and send Ambrose against the ropes. But Ambrose grabs the leg, turns it around, hits the ropes, and we get a dropkick onto Kane. Ambrose with a kick to the gut of the fallen Kane. He’s got the legs split, and hits the gut of Kane once again. He’s pressing it in then gets a single leg lock, driving the elbow into Kane at the same time. Kane seems to not enjoy this at all and rolls Ambrose over. Both men up, but Ambrose hits an elbow then goes to the second rope. Kane with the goozle. Ambrose kicks and goes for a DDT, BUT KANE TOSSES HIM! Ambrose gets his Feldman face and kicks Kane in the leg, then hits an uppercut and goes to the ropes. Ambrose meets him with a knee then runs into a tilt-a-whirl slam and a pin for 2. Ambrose hits the ropes, sunset flip, but he can’t get the pin! Kane lifts him and sends Ambrose into the corner, goes for a clothesline, gets it. Sends Ambrose to the opposite corner and almost runs into a boot, but grabs it and swings it so hard, Ambrose hits the mat face first. Sidewalk slam for 2! Kane is going up top! Ambrose is up, though, and hits a few rights then goes for a superplex. Kane hits the gut of Ambrose, then a headbutt and Flying Clothesline!! Kane is calling for the slam of choke! Ambrose rolls out and from behind, Rollins and Reigns come flying in and attacking Kane!!
Official Result: Kane via DQ (***)
Solid work from the big man and Ambrose! Don’t look now, but shades of the Smackdown Six are really showing with Kane, Bryan, Orton, and The Shield…
Daniel Bryan and Randy Orton are quick to come out and dispatch The Shield. The faces are left in the middle of the ring as The Shield attempts to regroup in the middle of the ring. They head out as Kane’s music hits and the faces stare at each other awkwardly.
We get news that Sheamus vs Sandow has been pushed to the pre-show this weekend…
Voting is currently open as to who Bryan will be facing soon. Rollins or Reigns. Interesting to note, Bryan and Rollins have yet to have a one-on-one.
Back to RAW, and King is all up in that ring. The results of the voting are……*drum roll*
Rollins: 66%
Reigns: 33%
Acero: 1%
Whew, dodged that bullet. What this means is Reigns and Orton are meeting up later. We get a little recap of last week with Bryan’s accidental kick to Orton and subsequent RKO. Orton, Bryan, and Kane are arguing in the back. Kane says this is not a fight you want to pick, so Bryan is on the offense claiming that Kane doesn’t think he can take Orton. Kane tries to play peacemaker, and he turns red in the process. Bryan says Orton has bad tattoos and tells Kane to take Bryan out before something bad happens.
In comes Brickie and says that this coming Sunday, Orton and Bryan will be getting a tag team title match. Kane is speechless, and tells Orton to stay out of his way. Kane claims this doesn’t make any sense. Here’s Vickie again, says that at Payback, Kane gets a US Title match, and wishes him luck. Kane says he always did like Vickie, and hugs her. ha! Weirdo….
We get The Miz’s music and Cole telling us that there is breaking news regarding Sunday’s match, which, presumably, means Fandango is out due to a concussion. Sucks…
Wade is ringside, and yes, we are confirmed that Fandango will not be allowed to compete in the interest of his safety. So, we will get The Miz vs Wade Barrett on Sunday. Wade calls Fandango too soft for Sunday anyway.
Miz starts hard with a kick to Rhodes and hits his little stalling clothesline. Miz is up top and hops off the ropes, but Cody moves and clips the knee. He quickly drives a few knees then stomps Miz in the corner. Rhodes is looking for a front suplex, and hits it. Cover for 1. Rhodes with a nice little deathlock on the legs of Miz as Wade claims he righted a wrong when he won the IC Title. Miz with some rights gets Cody to break the hold. Cody with a kick, but Miz meets him with some lefts then gets sent into the corner. Rhodes runs, blocks a kick, swings the leg to the ropes, and kicks the knee then covers for two. Rhodes right back to the knee and twerks it like a chick at the club. Miz floats over Cody and quickly locks in the figure four. Ah man, this was gettin good!
Official Result:
Cody did work here, I loved it. It made me want a bit more, but alas, we got a story to tell.
Wade claims he’s not going to wait till Payback and is about to head into the ring, but Miz is hobbling. Out of nowheres, Heyman is here with a mic. He claims that Vickie has authorized him to inform us that even though Fandango cannot compete this Sunday, there will be a Triple Threat match for the Intercontinental Championship…and that third member will beee….
Axel on the mic. He claims that the perfect ending to the match this Sunday will be him winning the Intercontinental Championship. He anunciates really well, that Axel does…
Before we hit the break, we get an announcement that next Monday, Mark Henry is returning!
In case you missed the first few minutes of RAW, we get a recap of it. Because, you know, this report isn’t enough for you selfish, selfish fans…
After all that, we get to REAL TIME and Steph is talking to the back of Vince. Steph knows he is upset and knows he is just trying to protect Hunter. She says it was embarrassing and Vince can relate to how proud Trips is. Vince says he heard about Steph saying “I’m not getting any younger.” He says Triple H made her cry, and he’s angry about it, then Steph says no, Vince made him cry. He says he does’nt care about Trip’s pride, business first. Steph cares about WWE, too. Vince says he does the right thing for business every single time and it’s best Steph keeps Triple H away from Vince. She asks for an attempt from Vince, but he says that if he did Triple H would not like what he said or how he said it and excuses himself…
In more important news, out comes Jericho!!
Jericho welcomes us to RAW IS JERICHO! He has said this many times over the years, and has faced many of the greatest performers in the history of the WWE. He has faced so many greats, but the man who takes him to the limit more than any other and makes him a better performer is CM Punk. We get a CM Punk chant, and Jericho nods around. We can say what we want about Punk’s attitude nd opinions, but the reason Punk is good is because he truly believes he is the best in the world. It’s the same way that Jericho believes he is the best in the world at what he does. He says they have the same mindset, came in the business the same way, and expect nothing less than the best.
Jericho says this Sunday, Punk v Jericho III continues the classic trilogy of matches that started last year at WM 28, onto Extreme Rules 2012, and ends this Sunday. He promises that Punk will get Jericho’s best. Punk will get his best because Jericho NEEDS to beat CM Punk. No matter what happens, after Punk and Jericho III, neither one of them will ever…..EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER be the—-
DOLPH ZIGGLER interrupts! It’s her! It’s her! Guys, guys, it’s her!!!
Ziggles says Jericho is talking about the best performers in the world, so he thought it only fitting to make his return. The nameplate wasn’t even on the title before it was almost taken away from him due to a concussion. He wasn’t about to sit at home. When it was almost taken away, it wasn’t fair to him. It’s obvious no one wanted him to ever have the title so he came out, stole the show, and earned it. The crowd WHATs him. Come Payback, he is going to prove to the world and Del Rio that he is the shit. He claims he is better than anyone in the business, and it all goes down this
BLA BLA BLA BLA, says Jericho. He’s read the news, he knows Dolph is back, but he is stepping ahead of himself. Stop talking about this Sunday and focus on tonight, young whippersnapper. Jericho says why not we have a little tune-up match and come down to the ring right here, right now, and have a match against Y2J!! Ziggler considers it, then offers Jericho a match…
against Big E. Langston. Big E smirks and AJ winks at me.
We are mid-match, on the outside. Langston is beatin on Jericho’s back as Y2J rolls back in the ring. Big E inside as well with a cover for two. He has a sick looking chinlock on Jericho as JBL wonders if the Pope is watching wrestling…Big E with a whip, Jericho holds s the ropes, Big E runs and Jericho sends him to the outside. Jericho calls for some crowd support, and gets it, then looks for a baseball slide…actually, it was more a kick. Jericho to the outside, and stomps Big E, then kicks him in the back. A right to the head, and Big E answers that with a punch to the gut then tosses Jericho shoulder first into the steps. Big E sends Jericho back in the ring and pins yet again. 2!!! Shoulder blocks in the corner from Big E. He hits a final big one, and Jericho keels over. Big E with some blows to the back then a kick to the gut. Big E with a whip to the corner, goes for a shoulderblock, but Jericho moves. Roll up for 2 and Big E just splashes Jericho. Pin for 2!!
Another chin lock from Big E. Jericho stands out of it and hits some elbows, but Big E with a right. He pushes Jericho to the ropes, but Jericho replies with a kick and some chops. Another whip and Jericho with a hard right, a kick. He ducks a right then hits an Enziguri! A dropkick to the seated Big E and a pin for 1…2..NO!! Jericho with some kicks to the chest of Big E then he lifts him up for a right. Whip is reveresed by Big E, and Jericho goes for a splash, only for Big E to catch him and hit three backbreakers luke nuffin! Pin for 1…2…NO! Big E smacks Jericho in the face, hits the corner, and goes for another splsh, but Jericho gets the leg up. Jericho goes up top, he flies. NICE crossbody and a pin for 1…2..NO!!
Ziggler wants to distract, ges on the apron, Jericho is distrated, and BIG Smashes Jericho to the mat! Straps are down, and Big E is lookin for the Big Ending. Big E is about to hit it when Del Rio comes from behind and attacks Ziggler! Big E checks on Ziggler, he misses a splash in the corner, Jericho hits the Codebreaker. Pin! 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Chris Jericho (**1/2)
Another solid showing from Big E, although the corner work was a little repetative.
Jericho celebrates with JBL’s hat as Del Rio smiles atop the ramp.
So it looks like Zeb Coulter has found a new Mexican to hate, as he’s ringside for the next match with Cesaro and Sin Cara.
Lockup into a fireman’s carry from Cesaro. He tosses Cesaro to the outside as Zeb calls Sin Cara an immigrant. Cesaro with a stomp onto Sin Cara then tosses him to the ropes, which is turned into an arm drag. Hurricanrana, and Sin Cara kicks Cesaro, grabs the hand, looks to go to the top rope, is tripped up by Cesaro. Cesaro stomps Cara then just stands atop Sin Cara’s head. Cesaro with a nice toss to Sin Cara. Zeb calls Cesaro a great wrestler as Cesaro locks in a chin lock. A few rights from Cara is short lived as Cesaro just tosses him then starts hitting hard rights before just double stomping Cara and pinning for 1…2..NO! Cesaro with another chin lock as Zeb claims the government is monitoring our conversation…
Apparently T-Mobile is horrible. Cara with a jawbreaker and Cesaro shakes it out. Sin Cara with a kick to the head then some chops to Cesaro. Whip and Cesaro with a whole lotta shakin goin on, resulting in a toss to Cesaro. Cesaro with a flip, and does a move I should know but don’t, into a pin for two. Sin Cara in the corner, Cesaro runs into a kick. Cara flies high with a cross body but Cesaro hits a backbreaker. Cesaro with a chinlock, and just spins Cesaro around, causing him to possibly knockout. He turns Sin Cara. Neutralizer. Pin. 1..2…3!!!
Official Result: Antonio Cesaro (***)
I know that match was short, but damn was it exciting. Seriously, give me more of this shit…
The Wyatt family is coming. SQUEEEEE!!
Backstage, Vickie is grubbin some Carl’s Jr. Vince is here, too. He wants some great TV, so Vickie says she will cancel the match. I don’t know what match, cuz I got here late. Maddox says the lumberjacks should come out to the ring tonight. Ah, so they’re talking about Cena and Ryback. Vince likes Maddox’s idea, and tells Vickie to share her burger with Brad. Well then.
After Orton’s music hits, Daniel Bryan’s music hits. Interesting. The crowd is all Yes crazy, and I suppose he is here to support Orton.
Lockup! Reigns with a knee, then an elbow to the back of the head. Some rights in the corner, and Reigns locks the arm around the tope rope before hitting another right. Orton with a kick, takes the fight to REigns in the corner with some rights. A dropkick to Reigns in the middle of the ring and a pin for 1. Orton stomps the fingers of Reigns, then the legs, then the head. Orton with a knee to the chest of Reigns and a pin for 1. Reigns to the outside, but Ortonfollows. Some rights and Orton with a back suplex onto the barricade. Cover by Orton for a 2.
Orton grabs the legs and stomps the midsection, then hits another stomp on the foot. He tries to follow up with a knee, but Reigns moves, and Orton lands knee first to the mat. He’s a-hurtin. Reigns with some stomps, then chokes up Orton a bit. The ref breaks it up and Reigns lumbers over to Reigns for a headbutt. Reigns with a right. He’s smiling. Reigns with a right hand. He whips Orton to the ropes, but Orton reverses. Reigns ducks a clothesline but is met with the Thesz Press. Orton with some right hands, then a corner hit. Orton is up top and tries for the ten punches! He gets the ten and ends with a headbutt. Another! WHY IS HE HEADBUTTING A SAMOAN!!?!?!? Whip to the corner, but Reign reverses, only to run into a boot. Orton with a chest shot, is looking for something, but Reigns just socks the shit outta Orton and sends him to the outside.
Reigns is in the middle of the ring with a chin lock on Orton, and Orton is super jelly that he doesn’t have the hold. Bryan calls for help from the crowd. Orton stands and turns into the hold then gets some rights and hits a headbutt again. Reigns lifts Orton up and drops him on the ropes. That didn’t look all that convincing. Reigns with a hard clothesline, and a pin for 2. Reigns with some rights showering down on Orton. He goes for another chin lock as the crowd chants for candy.
Orton is trying to stand up out of it, as Bryan calls for more help from the crowd. Orton turns into the hold then hits a back suplex to fully break the hold. Both men are up in oppsoite sides of the rng. Reigns goes for a clothesline, but Orton moves and here comes the clothesline. Powerslam. Orton hits Rollins off the apron, then kicks Reigns. Reigns looking for a Samoan drop, but Orton hits the backbreaker. Reigns tries to roll out of the ring, but he conveniently stops on the apron, and here comes the rope-assisted DDT. Orton ihts it and the crowd loves it. Orton is looking for the RKO, but Rollins sends Bryan to the ground and enters the ring. Orton tosses him, is about to hit the DDT, but Reigns holds the foot of Bryan. Bryan is in the ring and he flies to the outside!!! The crowd is YESing the shit out of the ring, as the ref calls for the bell.
Official Result: No Contest (**1/2)
A little too many restholds for my liking, but still a solid match. It wasn’t as good as I thought it was going to be…
Of course, the Bryan and Rollins match is starting immediately…and here! we! GO!
Rollins starts clubbering Bryan in the back, then into the corner. Bryan gets whipped to the corner. Bryan flips over Rollins, hits the ropes, seated clothesline. Rollins is on his knees. Bryan with some kicks. An uppercut. A whip to the ropes, followed by a high knee! More kicks, and the crowd LOVES it. A kick, then an elbow to the shoulder. Back to the back, shoulder, back, shoulder! Bryan with an armbar and he drops some elbows to Rollins a few times before he pins for 1. Every move Bryan makes is supplemented with a YES! Bryan is looking for the surfboard. Rollins gets to the ropes and breaks the hold, so Bryan dropkicks him. Seth to the outside so Bryan looks to fly. A kick sends Seth further away, then Bryan hits the apron and gets a flying knee! Orton prevents Reigns from interferring as Bryan sends Seth back into the ring for a pin. 1…2…NO! Bryan lifsts Seth up and is sent to the corner. Rollins with some shoulder blocks. A right is blocked and Bryan is back with his own rights and a whip, which is reveresed into that DDT into the middle turnbuckle move that Rollins does. Pin for 1..2.. NO! Rollins mounts and hits some rights to the face of Bryan. Bryan is looking for the surfboard. Rollins is looking for a surfboard of his own! Rollins gets the hold in, however. But BRYAN releases the arms and strengths himself out of the hold!!! Bryan tries to get his own surfboard, and gets it locked in!! The arm lock is turnd into a headlock, while the feet are still locked! Rollins might tap!! Rollins escapes the hold and we go to a commercial…
We’re back, and Rollins has a chin lock. Bryan ith some elbows and a right hand to break the hold. The YES!s are still alive! Rollins gets the upperhand then a pin for 2. Rollins with some elbows into a snapmare, followed by a chinlock. Rollins grounds Bryan but only for a second, as Bryan is able to turn into the hold and hit a right. They trade blows as the crowd trades YESs and NOs. Rollins goes for an Enziguri, but Bryan catches that shit and is all like, “HALF CRAB MUDDAFUCKA!” Rollins gets to the ropes, so the hold is broken. Seth in the corner. Bryan with some kicks! A running dropkick sends Bryan to the seated position! Bryan with another dropkick! A pin for 1…2..NO!! Kicks to the kneed Rollins! Bryan with a kick to the head, but Rollins ducks and gets a kick of his own. Pin from Rollin for 2! Rollins tries to take some Yes kicks of his own, but Bryan gets out of it! GERMAN from Rollins – NO! Bryan lands on his feet! Bryan with an attack, but Rollins turns it into a powerbomb right into the damned turnbuckle!!! Pin for 1…2…NO!!! Seth is frustrated!
He sends Bryan to the corner, hits some kicks. Rollins rolls, hits a clothesline, hits the ropes, and goes for something but we will never know what it is because Bryan sends him over the top rope! Bryan is looking for the suicide dive, but Bryan cuts that shit off!! Rollins on the top rope! He flies, misses! Bryan rolls him up, a reversal! German!!! CHAOS THEORY IN DA HOWSE!! Bryan with a pin! 1…2…NO!! Bryan’s got some blood! He’s going up top! Bryan on the top rope, but Rollins trips him up and crotches Bryan!! Rollins is up! Rights. He goes for a DDT like manuever, but Bryan crotches him! We’re set up for a back suplex! Bryan turns his body! CROSS BODY!! Both men are down!
THIS IS AWESOME chant! Bryan is standing, Reigns is looking to attack! Orton is there to trip him up! Rollins tries to attack! Roll up by Bryan! 1…2…3!!!!!! Everybody is YESSING!!
Official Result: Daniel Bryan (****)
What the hell did you expect?! AMAZING! I want to complain about the ending, but they’ve got a tag match coming up, so a conclusive end may very well have done some unnecessary damage. Wonderfully, beautiful match
Seth Rollins tries to attack after the match! Bryan with a high kick to the head! Seth turns to the left….RIGHT INTO AN RKO!!! The Shield books it as Orton and Bryan talk in the middle of the ring about dinner plans.
Hey guys, did you see what happened at the opening of RAW? No? What about the recap mid-show? No?! Well don’t worry, because they’re recapping the whole thing again!
Backstage, Kaitlyn is textin me about AJ and how much she misses me as we go to break.
We get a cute lil video package of the WWE working with the special olympics.
Kaitlyn is in the middle of the ring as King claims to have wanted to know for a long time, now. After some awkward acting, we get the reveal and it’s….
Kaitlyn doesn’t look happy. She questions it as Big E hands her some flowers. He asks for the mic. The crowd chants “Yes.” Big E says he knows this is unexpected and weird. It’s hard for him, especially after what happened earlier. People only see him as a big bad tough guy, only as Dolph’s heavy, but he’s got a heart ya feel? He cares about mor than that, he cares about Kaitlyn. Big E knows she is skeptical and she should be, but ever since he first saw her and met her, he’s got it bad. She was all he could think of and he didn’t know how to tell her until now. He drops the mic, cuz it’s real, yo. He brings her in close. Holds her, like a sweet little flower, puts his forehead to hers, dips her, leans in close….
then drops her on the ground. Here comes my LOVELY!!!!
AJ wants to know how Kaitlyn feels. Worthless? Alone? Broken? That’s how AJ felt. She has spent the last year of her life letting men hurt her. They shattered her like glass. And where was her BFF? Chasing the Divas title. But even shattered glass can cut you, yo. Kaitlyn calls her crazy as AJ laughs it off. No, she’s not crazy, she’s smart. Maybe Kaitlyn can beat her in the ring, but AJ can beat her in the head. She used to put Kaitlyn on a pedestal and now she gets to shove her off and laugh as Kaitlyn falls all
the way
down.
AJ calls Kaitlyn trash and I’m not sure if Kaitlyn is crying or laughing. AJ says Kaitlyn has no one. No love, no friends, and these people don’t give a damn about her. The only thing Kaitlyn has that’s worth anything is that title, and come Sunday she won’t even have that. You’re not going to like how this story ends, says AJ. Kaitlyn is going to lose, and AJ is going to get everything she ever wanted. Kaitlyn will then crawl back to whatever trailer park she crawled out of. Remote in one hand, junk food in the other man arm, worthless and pathetic. AJ calls her an unloveable cow and that does it. Kaitlyn grabs AJ’s head and slams it into the mat. AJ rolls out of the ring and laughs it off as Kaitlyn is left in the ring trying to cry. AJ blows her a kiss and skips away to the back.
We get Wyatt quoting Mark 8:36 and gettin all kinds of crazy on us. I loves it!!
Sandow comes out for his match, but beforehand, has something to say. He claims that for the last fortknight, he has been in a battle of wits with Sheamus, a battle that he has won. He will prove, come Sunday, that he is superior to Sheamus both mentally and physically.
This match brought to you by Hardee’s Bacon Cheeseburger, and we get King staring at the burger like some puppies.
Lockup into a side headlock from Truth. Sandow sends him to the ropes, looks for a toss, but Truth holds onto the ropes. He pop, locks and drops it then Sandow hits him with a kick and a hard clothesline. He beats down on Truth, then drops a boot to the gut. Sandow sends Truth to the outside near the announce table then follows him outside. Sandow sends Truth into the barricade, back first then rolls Truth into the rope, head hanging over the apron. Some chest shots followed by Sandow blinding Truth with the apron. He stomps Truth a bit then snapmares him into the middle of the ring. A knee to the back followed by a chinlock causes Truth to show his grill. Sandow is about to show some disdainin Elbow, and does so. Pin for 1…2..NO!
Chin lock again, but Truth is quick to turn into it and hits some rights. Sandow hits the ropes then meets the boot of Truth. Truth with a couple of clotheslines. Truth hits the ropes. Hurricanrana! Kick to the gut. Truth, looking for a suplex. He hits the front one and pins for 1..2..NO. Sandow looking for the win with a new move. Sort of a sitout side slam thing that doesn’t look good or bad. It’s The Silencer, according to JBL. Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: Damien Sandow (*1/2)
A little clunky at times, but good enough for its purpose
Before Sandow can celebrate his win, out comes Sheamus, ready to take your soul!
He wants to know how “Damo” is and congratulates him on his victory. He also came out because Sandow got his attention, and because of that, he has a match at Payback Kickoff, so what better way to preview that than with Sheamus kicking off Sandow’s head…then says “See you in Chicago” completely negating what he just said. Silly Sandow and your inconsistent promos…
Steph is in the back, wants a stagehand to find Vince and let him know that Steph’s looking for him. She walks down the hall in some squeaky shoes, tells another stagehand to tell Trips to meet her in “our office.” She appears to be setting up a meeting….
We are back after a break and Cole lets us know that Trips and Vince are still in the arena. Duh, Cole! We also get an update on Kofi Kingston. He had successful surgery and will be out for 8 weeks.
We get a video package called “Ryback Rampage” and TNA just squints in anger.
The lumberjacks lumber out, jack, and we will be back…
Back, again, and we got the meeting of the minds with McMahon and Trips. They argue. Triple H wants to know where Vince comes off gettin all up in Hunter’s bidness. Steph does a hellscream and tells both dudes to work it out. Neither men want to apologize. Steph leaves. Vince tells HHH that HHH is bigger than that. He calls Axel good, but Trips is bigger. He calls him an icon, a legend, and he wants more for Triple H. He wants TRiple H to be THE MAN. He wants Triple H to tell people to go to hell when they need it. It’s bigger than a match with Curtis Axel. He’s trying to do the right thing and give.
Triple H gets it. He is not going to apologize. Vince wants to be the bigger man and says next week, he can get his match with Curtis Axel next week. Triple H laughs, then says Vince is right, and he doesn’t want the match with Axel. Vince says, personally, he’d like to see the match. Triple H says he doesn’t want it. He is now not having it. Steph is back. She wants a group hug
Somewhere, Dr. Shelby is smiling.
Steph calls this bonding, Vince doesn’t hug other men. Trips says hold on, Vince won’t hug Triple H? Triple H seems willing to group hug, and this masturbatory session is alllllmost over. Vince and Trips smack each other on the back, and it appears the fire has been quelled. Triple H walks away and Steph smiles, doing what Dr. Shelby couldn’t do over the course of one episode of RAW…
From something I don’t care about to something else I don’t care about, Cena is here. Cenarella dressed in yella…
Here comes Scott Steiner! Ryback!
Keep in mind, the lumberjacks are surrounding the ring at this moment. Cena is in the middle of the ring, and he says that Ryback seemingly does not understand “Face to face” since he won’t get in the ring. Ryback stands atop the ramp. He says he’s so afraid, of course. Cena cuts him off, says Vickie set this all up with the sole purpose that they don’t tear each other apart. Sunday, at Payback, this all switches though. Ryback says he can tear through all thirty of those lumberjacks, and can even tear through all person in the audience if he wanted to. John’s gotta trust Ryback, he is doing this for Cena, not himself. Cena claims Ryback has been sending messages a lot recently with the whole puttin people through table thing, but if the message to Cena is that Ryback does damage, Cena gets it. If the message is that he thinks he deserve to be the WWE CHampion than…
Ryback cuts him off, says he should have been the champ three times over. He brings up his TLC match with Punk. He brings up Survivor Series against Cena. At HITC, he had the belt won. Cena claims he gave Ryback his spot for that match. That’s, apparently where the problem started. Ryback got too good, too fast. He became a threat, too popular, and Cena went to damage control, trying to protect what’s most important – his last decade. When the going got tough, Cena left Ryback high and dry. Cena insults his manhood, then tells Ryback to shut up.
He;s been here a long time, and never one had a guardian angel behind his back. He tells Ryback to look at himself, all buff and shit, but bitches and moans about conspiracy theories (R-Truth?). Congrats to Ryback, because he’s good at makin excuses cuz come Sunday, Cena iswinning. Ryback claims that he CAN see Cena. And Cena is full of crap. He knows every move Cena is going to make. There will be no backing down from Ryback. The legend of John Cena doesn’t grow anymore, it ends. It ends when he beats Cena in the Lumberjack match, when he is put through a table, and when Cena gets loaded into the ambulance (although, if he won the first two falls then arguably, the ambulance wouldn’t be needed…)
This Sunday, Ryback takes Cena’s spot. Cena takes off his shirt, and thinks this Sunday, payback is a bitch.
ooooooo, he said a bad woooorrdddd
He tries to leave the ring, but the lumberjacks stop him twice. Ryback runs into the ring and is set out. Ryback makes his way back in and Cena and Ryback lock up, only for the lumberjacks to try and break it up. Some faces hold back Cena and some heels hold back Ryback as we end the show.
It has been a pleasure doing the recap once again, y’all. Let’s hope we can get someone back here next week cuz my fingers be hurrttttiiinnn!!
END SHOW
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