wrestling / TV Reports
411’s WWE RAW Report 9.30.13
Championship Roll Call:
WWE Champion: VACANT
World Champion: Alberto Del Rio
US Champion: The Shield’s Dean Ambrose
IC Champion: Curtis Axel
Unified Diva’s Champion: AJ Lee
WWE World Tag Team Champions: The Shield’s Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
Yo, yo, yo! It’s Tony, and I’m back after a nice one=-week break from RAW. Larry was gracious enough to do the duty for me while I was gone, but the fam is back together! We’ve got a PPV to build towards, so let’s see if they entice us with some bad assery.
Not a second after we are welcomed to Monday Night RAW, CM Punk’s hits, and the man from Chi-Town heads out. The ropes are white and pink for the boobies. We are reminded of last week when Heyman had Axel and Ryback ambush Punk just before a beatdown. Punk calls last week predictable, but sometimes predictability is ok. It was predictable that he was going to go after Heyman last week. We all knew he’d get jumped, and all of that is ok because he knows how this story ends. It ends when he gets his hands on Curtis Axel and makes him go to sleep. It gets wrapped up when he gets his hands on Ryback. And it ends when he gets his hands on Heyman when he realizes no one is coming to save him; that there is no one less. He encourages a “Ryback Sucks” chant. Punk says it could be this Sunday, it could be next week on RAW, or hell…it could end right here and now on Monday Night RAW. Punk says he is not leaving the ring until he gets a fight. History might say that Heyman pinned him in the ring, but everyone in the world knows Punk is going to put Heyman out of his misery.
Out comes Brad Maddox, telling CM Punk to take it easy, mang. Punl points out that Maddox doesn’t even get an entrance song. Maddox knows what it feels like to want to fight like a man, but YOU SUCK chants are in full effect. Maddox understands how embarrassed Punk was last week, that he’s looking for some sort of ultimate showdown with Ryback and Heyman, but that’s just not…..what’s….BEST FOR BUSINESS! (DRINKK!!!) Punk knows he is getting Ryback and Battleground, why is he making a big deal right now? He says he has the power to give Punk a match tonight if he’d like one, but Punk’s not….Punk says he is simply looking for an outlet to his agression….
And out of nowhere, the music of Big E. Langston hits! Where da fux has he been? Big E says if Punk wants aggression, he’s the man then just clocks Punk in the head. Big E lifts Punk, gets some shoulders into the corner, then tosses Punk in the corner for a third…only to miss when Punk moves out of the way. Brad Maddox calls for a ref, and it looks like we’ve got a match!
We come back to a match in progress on the outside. Punk with a high kick then rolls Big E back in the ring. Punk up top and hits a high cross body into a pin for 1. Roundhouse gut kick to Big E. He lifts up Big E, but E drops him, pushes him away. Punk flies into Big E, but E just picks him up and slams him with an STO-like manuever. Pin for 1…2..NO! Big E with a splash onto Punk. Pin for 1…2…NO! Big E with a half-Boston crab. Punk tries to stand out of it, does, attacks the back, hits an elbow, a chop, a kick, another kick! Hits the ropes, and Langston with a standing splash into Punk! Pin for 1…2..NO! Big E grabs Punk by the left arm and lifts him up to his knees, then standing. Big E lifts Punk over his shoulder. Looking for the Big Ending? Punks rolls off! Roll up for 1! BIg E is up! Belly to Belly! Pin for 1…2..NO! Big E with some kicks to the prone Punk. Punk chops from below, then stands for another. A kick, a back elbow. He hits the ropes and runs…right into a fireman’s from Big E! Punk floats off! High kick to the back of the head! Pin for 1….2..NO!!
Punk looks flustered. He stands, sets up for the G2S. Big E drops off and hits a hard, short clothesline. Pin for 1…2..NO! Big E wants another splash. He hits the ropes, goes for it, but Punk moves out of the way! Punk is up in the corner. Big E runs for a splash, misses! Punk with a kick to the gut, antoher high kick. Whip. Heel kick! Big E misses a clothesline and Punk hits a swinging neckbreaker! Punk in the corner! Running Knee! Clothesline!
Punk goes up top! Elbow Drop! Punk wants the G2S! Big E is up! Go 2 Sleep!! Pin for 1…2….3!!!
Official Result: CM Punk
This match was pretty sweet, and exciting to boot. A lot of action in a little time, and a good way to start the show.
RATING: **1/2
Cole mentions the obvious; that this was made to show that Punk CAN lift a big guy up and hit the G2S. I really wish he’d just let us figure that out.
We get a recap of Cody Rhode’s firing which leads us to a “Family Summit” tonight, which is considered to be a “lucrative business proposal…”
We’re back to the lovely lil lady known as Summer Rae. Here’s Fandango with a pink, Fandango-themed, shirt. They dance, as they should, and head down to the ring for a match. Since WWE is doin it, let’s get some pink in these results!
Fandango is quick to attack with some rights. Side headlock into the ropes and Fandango hits the shoulder block. He hits the ropes, ducks under the jumping Kofi, comes back and gets hit with a Kofi elbow. Kofi in the corner, he turns and hits a Hurricanrana out of the corner. Nice. Fandango rolls away and into the corner, then comes out with a clothesline and a pin for 1…2..NO! Fandango with a short clothesline, holding the arm. He lifts Kofi and hits a second short clothesline, not letting go of the arm. Suplex by Fandango into a pin for 1…2.NO! Fandango with another headlock this time on the mat. Both men up, and Kofi elbows out. Fandango with a right hand, goes for a clothesline, but Kofi flips out of it and hits a nice DDT! Kofi with a chop. Another. Dropkick to Fandango! He runs in the corner, but Fandango lifts him up and Kofi hits the corner head first. Fandango is going up top but Kofi fights him in the corner.
Fandango with a headbutt! He looks for the leg drop, but Kofi moves. Fandango hops down and goes for a hit, misses, TROUBLE IN PARADISE! Pin for 1….2…3!!!
Official Result:
Really short, too short to mean much.
RATING: *1/2
Immediately after the match, the lights go out and here comes The Wyatt Family! JBL drops a “Good for business” quip and I’m takin it. DRINK!! Kofi is still in the ring with a chair. Bray Wyatt has a mic. He says all fall victim to the games wicked men play, and he is no different. He has spent the majority of his life trying to understand why these horrible things happen to him. He would wake and wonder if this nightmare of his was ever going to end. But it never did. And now, finally, he understands what he must do. One by one, they will all fall down. Follow the buzzards. And….that’s it.
So that Bray Wyatt moment lead to nothin, it appears. We are back and are informed that the kickoff for Battleground will be Dolph vs Damien Sandow.
Backstage, the Bellas confirm my suspicions that Brie Bella will be facing AJ Lee for the Divas title this Sunday. Orton slithers up, says he heard the news regarding the engagement between Bryan and Brie. He wants to know when the big day is, but neither twin answers. He wants to know because he feels they should schedule the wedding sooner rather than later. He claims that Bryan may not make it down the aisle if the wedding is not before Sunday. Brie is so much hotter than the other one…
Backstage, Renee Young is chillin with Paul Heyman. Heyman’s skullet looks supreme. Renee wants to know how he feels about Punk. Heyman says it must be so difficult to watch a man of such promise descend into madness. Punk is so obsessed. He’ll never, in his life, be able to intimidate or bully Heyman because CM Punk is a nobody who became a Paul Heyman guy, who became a WWE Champion who forgot what made “US” the best in the world. Renee calls out the fact that Ryback and Curtis Axel are playing Hide n Seek in the back and says it may be a trap.
Heyman says that the fact that he exists is a trap for CM Punk. He has a huge night planned for RAW, and if CM Punk wants to do something about it, let him find the manhood to make a move tonight and try. Oh dear.
Up next, Los Matadores will fight again….for the first time…
We’re back, and 3MB is rockin out! Fernando (Epico) and Diego (Primo) are the names, and Los Matadores is their game! Their entrance starts with an OLE! chant (sorry, Generico), and here they are! They come out…..with a BULL mascot!!! Hoooooo-leeeeee fuuuuuuuck. It’s either a midget, or Sin Cara got a new gimmick!
We’re starting with Jinder and Diego are starting. Flashy head takeover and an arm drag from Diego. Diego slides under and hits a standing frankensteiner, sends Jinder to the corner, runs and hits a monkey lfip, then tags in Fernando. Jinder tags in Heath. JBL says the guys look familiar. Ferny with a head scissors take down and a tag. They double team Heath with an over the head drop, and Diego lifts up Heath. Heath gets him in the corner, Jinder gets the blind tag and hits some rights, but Diego fights out…only to be hit by a knee. Jinder with a nice suplex and a pin for 1…2..NO! Jinder drops some knees to the gut of Diego then drops a knee on the neck. Tag to Slater. Heath drops a knee to the face, then goes for a pin. 1…2..NO! Heath with a boring headlock from behind. Heath with a bodyslam. Diego locks the head with the legs, does some spinning, and tosses Heath. Tag to Diego. He spins with an elbow. Another. He hits Jinder of the apron then hops off the second turnbuckle with a clothesline. Blind tag from Diego.
Another double team move that’s essentially a double Samoan Drop. Pin by Fernando. 1….2…..3!!
Official Result: Los Matadores
I’m really not sure what to think. This might be cheesy enough to work…..maybe….probably not..
RATING: *
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Justin Roberts welcomes the power couple known as Triple H and Triple Ds to the Game’s music. Triple H cuts straight to the point, and invites The Rhodes Family down to the ring. He guarantees their safety. They come down to the music of The American Dream. They’re here! Goldust is suited up! Cody is first to head up on the apron while Dusty and Goldy talk it out a bit. All the men are in now. Stephanie welcomes them for RAW, says people are happy to have them here, obviously. Steph congrats Cody on the wedding, trusts that Dusty gave him the gift card. Triple H wants to know why they’re so pissed off. He’s here to offer them another opportunity, and this is the look they give? How many opportunities that they have given? It started with Cody. He failed. Then they gave Goldust a chance, and he failed. Then we get to Dusty, and he fails. Is Dusty still bitter about not being able to make it out of Florida? That he couldn’t get it done with the polka dots? They offer to get his sons jobs back and he tells Steph to go to hell…not cool, bro. He got knocked out for it, and that brings us to Opportunity #4.
Steph says Dusty has the most important job in all of the WWE. She brings up that he trains the newest superstars, and tonight her and The H’s hold his sons’ future in the palm of her hands. They want to give Cody his job back, they want to give Goldust an opportunity to gain his employment. We will have Cody Rhodes and Goldust facing Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. However, if they lose against them, then they will NEVER work in the WWE again. Not only that, but your father will be fired as well. Dusty grabs the mic!
Triple H is big on gettin in peoples’ faces, he says, and he gets in Triple H’s face. Dusty says one stipulation; allow him to be in his boys’ corner, and he’ll be Triple H’s huckleberry all night long. Steph says he’s on, but it seems like he’s itching for a fight. Be careful what you wish for, she says, because you just might get it. There were pauses between each word…you know, for emphasis.
Just before the Rhodes leave, The Shield comes out to ambush them! Reigns spears the golden nuggets out of Goldust! Dusty goes for a chair, but they stomp him down! Cody tries to fight back to prevent his fathr from getting hurt, but the three attack him instead and get a three-manned powerbomb on the youngest Rhodes! Seth gives Dusty a kick for good measure while Ambrose taunts him. The crowd is loving (loathing) it!
Lockup to start. Arm drag from Curtis. Nice. He looks pleased. Truth dances a bit then gesticulates for no reason…Axel ain’t havin it and shoves Truth. Truth firse back with a right hand. Curtis backs up in the corner. Truth waits for him to stand. lockup again, this time Truth backs Axel up into the ropes. Axel pushes him away, so Truth goes in for kicks all around the ring. Axel falls away as Truth laughs. Truth with a right hand in the corner. He mounts for the 10-punch. Axel grabs the legs and hangs Truth up at the count of like three. Axel sees the prone Truth and kicks him in the gut. Axel with a right hand to the face. Another. One more! Nope! Truth blocks it and gets a kick in, then a back elbow. he hits the ropes, but Axel is there with a kick to the face! Axel with a headlock on the mat. Truth is up, turns into it. Truth fights out but Axel hits a knee then a forearm to the back. Whip to the corner. Truth hits a kick then a back elbow. Truth with a clothesline! Another! He sets up for a suplex. Hits it…sort. Pin for 1…2..NO! Truth whips Axel but misses a drop kick when Axel holds onto the ropes.
The music of Punk hits!! Heyman looks worried, and Axel is callin for Punk! Truth is here with the Pay Dirt! Pin for 1…2…3!!!
Official Result: R-Truth
Who saw R-Truth winning a match?! An average bout, for sure.
RATING: *1/2
The Bellas walk…
We come back with the news that Trish Stratus has had her baby boy. So if you had September 30th in the 411 RAW Recap poll…you win a date with Darren Young!
Before we get back to wrestling, we get a cute little video package of Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella, which essentially means she will be an integral part of the storyline soon enough…and also means AJ may be losing her belt this Sunday? WHHHYYYY!!!
The ladies lock up. Alicia grabs the left arm and twists it,m but Bellas flips out (literally, not figuratively), and reveres the arm hold. Toss over from Brie and somethin happens that I miss. Alicia kicks Brie to the outside, then heads out to bring her back in. Alicia chokes Brie up in front of her sister. AJ Lee is in the back watching the match, and Tamina is behind her like Big E status.
Back to the match, and Alicia gets a pin for 2. She gets a scissors lock for a bit but Brie gets out. Alicia uses her leg to slam Brie to the mat and pins for 1….2..NO! Alicia’s forehead is like super big. Brie with a couple of dropkicks, sending Alicia down. Brie calls for some help then hits a running knee to the face of Alicia. She grabs at Alicia, who is exiting the ring, but Alicia hits her and heads in.
Alicia looks for a move, but Brie flips out, gives Alicia a hard slap, then hits the X-Factor for the pin. 1…2..3!!!
Official Result:
Brie looked somewhat serviceable in the ring. Color me impressed, sorta.
RATING: *
Backstage, Curtis Axel is hugging his title while Heyman attempts to get his attention. Ryback is here, too! He tells them not to be distracted by the threat of CM Punk. Ryback says that if Punk wants them, let’s give him what he wants. Axel questions this decision. Heyman says he has an idea. He says ever since the night he was saved by Ryback, he sees things in a different perspective. Life is better. SO much, in fact, that he has a proposal for Ryback…..oooook
Recap of The Big Show knockin the frog off of The Miz’s face before a Big Show interview in the back with Renee. We get a recap of Show from Friday where Triple H tells him he really can only have one job. This job. Show brings up that everyone is telling him to do the right thing, and everyone is judging him. He is being forced to choose between the lesser of two evils. If it were up to Show, he wouldn’t choose evil at all. He’s just trying to do what’s right by his family. He is forced to do everthing that he is told to do, and he’s done it. He knocked out Dusty Rhodes, a man that he idolized growing up. There’s only so much that he can take, though. Every sick and weird thing that he’s been ordered to do, he’s done without question, but he doesn’t know how much more he can take. In fact, he’s not going to take it anymore. He’s going to find Triple H and he’s going to show him exactly, EXACTLY how he feels.
He’s going to knock Triple H the hell out. uh oh….
We follow The Big Show as he slumbers away like he’s too late for the restroom just before a break.
We’re back, and Truth is talking to Maddox about he getting an IC Championship Match…wait, what? hahahahahaha
Big Show barges in, lifts Maddox against the wall by his face, and asks for Triple H. Pretty cool visual. He tells Maddox that he’s going to wait right here while Maddox goes to get Triple H.
Zack Ryder sighting!? R-Truth asking for an IC TItle shot? DAFUQ is goin on here?
Lockup to start. Ryder backs Del RIo in the corner, but Del RIo locks him up in the corner. They do some rope work and Del Rio knocks Ryer down with a shoulder. SOme more ends an arm drag from Ryder. Ryder attacks the back, but Del Rio gets in the corner to prevent any more damage. Whip and a splash is missed by Del Rio. Ryder with a single leg flap jack then clotheslines Del Rio to the outside! Ryder gets froggy, and leaps over the top rope! Del Rio moves, though! Ryder splashes on the mat. Del Rio tosses Ryder into the barricade then lays in with some kicks. He sends Ryder into the ring and pins for 1…2..NO! Del Rio with a chin lock from behind. Ryder with a roll up for two then Del Rio hits a til-a-whirl backbreaker! Kick to the back of Ryder! Stomp from Del Rio into another chin lock. Ryder ain’t quittin. Ryder with some right hands, but Del Rio hits a knee then whips Ryder into the ropes. Ryder comes back with an x-factor like move! Ryder in the corner. Del RIo runs and hits a boot! Ryder is uP! Crossbody from the top rope! He knocks Del Rio down in the corner. Ryder wants the Broskii Boot! He hits it! Pin for 1…..2…..NO!! Who said he could have this much offense?! Ryder is looking for the Ruff Ryder, but Del Rio reverses! GERMAN!! Pin for 1…2…NO!!!
Ryder on the apron, Del Rio attaks the arm the arm, locks in the cross arm breaker, and Ryder taps!
Official Result: Alberto Del Rio
Was nobody looking when they gave Ryder this much time? Good for him.
RATING: *1/2
Ryback is here, with Heyman doting closely behind. Heyman says that he was man enough to pin CM Punk and is a world renowned expert in political science. Since he owns CM Punk, he knew that it was his obligation to go against his own theory, and squash the rebellion he attempted last week. Heyman had to put Punk down in front of his fan, friends, and others family. He replays last week, which we saw earlier today. Heyman gives Punk credit, he’s a man of commitment, but that commitment has been to break the face of Heyman. The only reason that this face is here tonight, though, is because of the independent actions of one man…RYBACK. Heyman calls him big, bad, and beautiful.
Ryback says if there’s one thing he hates, it’s a bully. For CM Punk to take all that knowledge and friendship that Heyman gave him, as well as the sacrifices, and hurl it back into Heyman’s face (he cradles the cheek of Heyman while speaking), he couldn’t let that stand. Ryback calls Heyman a genius and tells him that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for Heyman. Heyman asks for the mic back. He’s glad Ryback feels that way.
2013 is such a progressive year in so many different movements, and it’s time that people stop living in denial of their true feelings, and honest with how people feel about one another. Heyman wants something much more meaningful between he and Ryback. Ever since Ryback saved his life, Heyman feels more like a man, and that….that’s all because of Ryback. He wants to feel that way every single day for the rest of his life which is why tonight, in front of the entire world, he wants to make this —
He’s cut off by “GET A ROOM” chant. Heyman calls their foul that they would interrupt such an intimate moment. He wants to make this an official commitment. All commitments are about mutual understanding and sacrifice. He asked his children if it was ok. From opening match to Main Event, in sickness and health, till death do them part – Heyman wants to make an honest man out of Ryback. Heyman grabs the hand of Ryback, drops to one knee.
“Ryback, you big, bad, beautiful man…will you….Ryback wi—will you…Ryback will you become a Paul Heyman guy?”
Ryback is giddy with joy. He looks lovingly at the man in front of him, knowing what he wants to hear but holding his tongue. For suspense? For consideration? Who knows, but the fire burns in between them in such a way that none of us will feel…none of us will ever feel. No, not like Paul and Ryback. Not lik—-
Sorry.
The music of CM Punk hits to interrupt the moment of poignancy! After a pause or so, we see Punk coming out from the crowd! He hops over the barricade and….hurts the shit out of his knee! He sells like a mufucka that it’s hurt as people call for help. Heyman and Ryback watch from inside the ring. Punk wobbles on the outside, then towards the ring. He hops up on the apron, then drops again as the announcers describe how bad an idea this all is. A doctor comes up to Punk to check on him. Punk is apronside, and Heyman comes forth. Punk pushes the doctor and pulls out a Kendo stick! He slaps Heyman in the legs with it, then attacks Ryback! Here’s Axel, but Punk can handle it all! He attacks Ryback, sending him to the outside, then beats some Hennig into Curtis Axel!! Heyman and Ryback watch from the top of the ramp as Punk chokes Axel out with the stick. ONe more shot to the shoulder and a G2S to seal the deal!
We’re backstage, and it looks like Big Show is a big ol liar, cuz he’s chillin in Triple H’s office now!
We’re starting with Ambrose and Ziggler! Lockup! AMbrose backs Dolph into the corner, but the ref breaks it up. Some rights and a headbutt from Ambrose. He drags Dolph’s face against the ropes. Rope work results in a dropkick from Ziggler. Pin for 1. Ambrose sends Dolph into the ropes and Dolph fires back with a crossbody! A tag from Ambrose to Rollins leads to an arm drag from Dolph! Tag to Jimmy who hits a body slam and a headbutt. Pin for 1…2..NO! Jimmy sends Seth to the corner and tags in Jey. Jey with a double chop takedown. Pin for 1…2..NO! Chinlock from Jey. Seth is able to get out and hit a right. Tag to Ambrose. Right hand and a headbutt. Snapmare from Ambrose. Tag to Rollins. Seth stomps the chest. Right hand from Seth to the face, then the back. Stomps from Seth. Tag to Ambrose, and we get a double clothesline, which is missed. Jey goes for a cross body but is caught. Jimmy is in and dropkicks his brother to force the fall. Reigns is in, but The Usos chop him out. Ziggler is in to send Reigns to the outside .The Usos send Seth and Dean to the outside. Both Usos with suicide dives!!
We’re back, and Ambrose is throwing some hard hits to the face of one of The Usos. Uso hits the ropes, then hits the elbow of Dean. Ambrose drops an elbow then tags in Reigns. Reigns locks the Uso down on the mat with a cravat. He’s able to stand and turn into it. He hits some elbows and whips, but it’s reversed, and Reigns hits a back suplex into an elbow and a pin for 1…2..NO! Reigns pushes the Uso against the ropes, and he holds on, then hits an uppercut. Reigns runs, but Uso holds the ropes, sending him to the outside! Jimmy goes for a tag, but Reigns runs in and stops him! Jimmy hits a superkick out of nowhere! Reigns is able to tag in Rollins before Jimmy can tag! Rollins is in and he gets sent up and over! Tag to Ziggler! He’s a house.
of
FIYAH!!
He gets Ambrose in the corner and gets about a gazillion hits in. He goes for the elbow drops! Rollins flies off the corner, but Dolph answers the call with a dropkick! Ambrose attacks, but DOlph hits a fameasser! Pin for 1…2..NO! Reigns breaks it up! Uso is in! He sends Reigns to the outside and is about to fly, but Ambrose prevents it! Uso sends Ambrose to the outside! He’s going to fly, but Rollins is there with an Enziguri!
Ziggler hits the ZIg Zag on Rollins!! He turns…right into a Spear from Reigns! Pin! 1….2…..3!!!
Official Result: The Shield
Pretty solid match with a great ending!
RATING: ***
Big Show has removed his jacket, and takes a sniff of some nearby fake flowers for no reason. In come four police men and a suited dude. He says that it is his understanding that “Mr. Wight” has been threatening someone. In comes Steph who says he has just been under a lot of pressure. She says that he knows not what he does, and at home he is just trying to put food on the table. Apparently, there is a big mortgage payment now. Show looks at her like whoa as she says that she’s got everything under control. She tells him that she spoke with his wife, and she said that at home, he hasn’t exactly been measuring up to her expectations either. Way to make sense, you guys….way to make sense. Big Show sits on the nice, leather couch, to think about life and all its intricate details. His solemn face turns to anger when he sees the poster of Triple H’s poster. He punches the poster and it sticks to his fist. Once removed, there is a huge hole in the “wall.” Was that already there? Shockmaster? Anyone?
In a completely different area, we have Renee Young with RVD. RVD could talk and talk about this Sunday’s match, but he’d rather show us, and we get a Youtube clip of RVD’s Top 10 “Extreme” moments. Back to present time, and he calls his list prety impressive. He calls Del Rio vicious and sadistic. He loves to….RVD forgets his line. He says that when it’s Harcore, anything goes, so you do everything to survive. The rule book is tossed out and this Sunday, they’re going to go Hardcore. The perfect translation for Hardcore is the same in every language. It’s Rob…Van…Damn that was a horrible promo.
Backstage, in yet another, distinctly different location, Santino is walking the halls with Hornswoggle and Khali.
We’re baaaack, and The Real Americans are in the middle of the ring. He calls Mississippi lower than Alabama. He claims that he has a new rule, and only those who believe in what he says is allowed to say, “We The People.”
Santino gets himself a side headlock. Cesaro tries to hit the ropes, but Santino holds on. Santino goes for a shoulderblock, but hurts himself. Arm drag from Santino but Cesaro gets an uppercut. Whip from Cesaro into the corner. Uppercut from Cesaro in the corner! He stomps Santino then lifts him up for a body slam. Hits the ropes, and Cesaro stomps the chest of Santino. Pin for 1…NO! Cesaro lifts Santino then sends Santino into the corner. Santino hops over Cesaro. Cesaro locks the legs for the spin, but Santino fights out. He ducks a move, hits the arm drag and the headbutt, then calls for the cobra. He turns right into a gut punch from Cesaro. Cesaro grabs the legs! Airplane spin!
I do my taxes, call my mother, write seventeen poems, change my oil, and buy the new iPhone then come back to….
Cesaro tossing the Cobra to the outside. Santino goes for an arm drag, but Cesaro won’t allow it. He pulls for the arm drag, but Cesaro pulls back, and Santino rolls over into a pin for 1….2….3!!
Official Result: Santino Marella
Short match that hopefully leads to something. Not sure why Horny and Khali were there, but whatevs.
RATING: *
In case we missed it earlier, King is in the middle of the ring to let us all know that Daniel Bryan and Brie Bella are engaged. He introduces Daniel Bryan, and he’s here! Imagine if he wasn’t, tho….
King reminds the fellas that this intended to be a verbal confrontation only. He wants to mention that Triple H made a controversial decision in stripping DB of the title. At the time, Orton was very upset with Triple H but then he realized that he should be happy that he held the title because it motivated Orton and inspired him to reach the full potential of the Apex Predator. He was no longer the viper that cared what we idiots thought. He was relentless and remorseless, and decimated The Miz. He will beat Bryan this Sunday because he is genetically superior. He calls Bryan a B+ Goat faced troll.
Bryan’s response is that Orton talks a great game, it’s real good. it’s a little monotone, but great nonetheless. A+ all the way, but why does he think that Triple H felt the need to inspire and motivate Orton? Maybe because he thinks Orton is marketable and to make money off of him…or maybe, it’s because he knew that Orton can’t reach his full potential without it. Guess what, he may be some small, weak, pathetic dude but he has never needed anybody else’s motivation to reach his full potential. The crowd spews some Yes chants. This Sunday, he will acheive even more when he beats Orton to regain the WWE Championship.
Orton screams NO and tells the crowd to shut up like he’s Skyler White. Just because they chant that Bryan can be champion? He know’s Bryan is on a roll, he’s marrying a Bella. What on earth can be so incredibly wrong with Brie that she would settle for Bryan? One day, Brie is going to wake up and realize that she’s not sleeping with a handsome champ like Orton, but with a barnyard animal. Bryan attacks with some rights!!
He clotheslines Orton over the top rope, but Bryan follows! Right hands against the barricade!! Kicks and punches a plenty! He is bout to send Orton to the steps, but Orton reverses and sends Bryan into them! He rips the pink shirt off of Bryan and sends him into the ring post!! One more toss into the ring post! Orton grabs the arms of Bryan and brings him shoulder first into the steel post. One more time!!! Orton with a front suplex onto the barricade. He hits some right hands to Bryan, then sends him back into the ring. He stays holding onto the head of Bryan, and is looking for the DDT. Here comes Brie Bella! She runs down the ramp and ringside, being forced to watch as Orton DDT’s Bryan onto the mat outside!! Orton isn’t done. He heads over to Bryan, sending Brie away. He clears the announce table of it’s top and tvs as Brie yells for him to stop. Orton smiles. He picks Bryan up and slams Bryan against the table, then gets on top of it. RKO on the announce table!! Brie yells as Bryan’s leg twitches and Orton grins.
END SHOW
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