The RAWtopsy 02.06.06

Winner of this 8-man tournament gets the title shot at WrestleMania. Kane shoves Masters away off mounted punches. They trade power moves before Kane gets a sideslam. Kane goes up for the flying clothesline, but Masters counters to a Masterlock attempt. Kane counters with a snapmare. Masters goes for it again, so Kane drops down and kicks him in the head. The third time, Kane tries to drop down again, and Masters squats on him with a handful of ropes for the win at 3:06. 1/2*

Trish Stratus is, again, special guest referee. Mickie attacks at the bell and tosses Ashley around with a handful of hair. Mickie goes for a crossbody, but Ashley ducks. Mickie takes out Trish instead and stops to see if she’s okay. That allows Ashley to roll Mickie up for the win at 1:06. Mickie is confused as Trish hightails it out of there so she doesn’t have to deal with Mick. 1/4*

Flair gets a hiptoss and settles into a headlock. HHH goes for the Pedigree early, but Flair backdrops him to the floor. We come back from commercial to the Game dominating Flair and grinding him down. HHH with a delayed vertical suplex for two. He gets cocky and goes for the figure-four, but Flair kicks him away and schoolboys him for two. Flair fires away but runs into a back elbow. HHH goes up, but Flair gets a boot up to block. Flair chops his leg and goes up. Triple H can’t block it, so Flair COMES OFF THE TOP! Flair with the figure-four (Austin-style). HHH makes the ropes. The ref’s eye gets thumbed “somehow” enabling Flair to give Hunter a lowblow. CHOP! CHOP! Flair puts his head down for a backdrop, but Hunter hits the Pedigree out of nowhere for the win at 12:00. That ending is a bit anti-climactic. **1/2

They accidentally put a little bit of Triple H’s entrance video into Big Show’s entrance. Or was it an accident?! Vince comes out and offers Shawn a chance to go out with dignity. Next week, they’ll have a Shawn Michaels retirement party. In fact, since Vince is forcing him to retire, he’s replacing him with…

We JIP to Shelton getting beat like a government mule. He’s is so poor, and he is so black. Show dominates until Shelton hits the Dragon Whip. A springboard bulldog gets one. Shelton gets an awkward neckbreaker for two, but that just makes Show mad. Shelton runs into a series of clotheslines and a powerslam. Shelton sends Show to the floor with a kick, but Show shrugs him off and pressslams him back in the ring. Mama tries to stop him from hurting her little boy, but Show barks at her, causing her to have a heart attack. Back in, Shelton runs right into a chokeslam as Mama lays prostrate. That’s the end at 4:31. Show calls for help and then just walks off as they’re tending to Mama. 3/4*

Carlito tries to run, but Rob tracks him down and tosses him back in the ring. Rob hits the corkscrew legdrop as we go to break. We come back to Carlito holding a chinlock. Carly mocks the R-V-D pose and gets two. A reverse elbow gets two for Carlito. Van Dam elbows out of a chinlock and gets a pair of Rolling Thunders (one with a splash). Carlito blocks the split-legged moonsault with the knees for two. A bodyscissors rollup gets two for RVD. Carlito kicks out and busts out a double springboard senton. LUCHALITO! The chinlock backbreaker gets two. He grabs a chair. Well, that’s just stupid. Van Dam hits the Van Daminator and finishes with the Five Star Frogsplash at 8:55. Not bad, but Van Dam isn’t quite 100% yet. **

Maria seems to have a newfound confidence. Oh, I’m sorry. Shorty be all up in haterz grillz. Edge attacks from behind, but Cena whips him from pillar to post and gets two off a Fisherman’s suplex. Cena goes to the ringpost, so Edge forces Maria to tag Cena and gives him the Edgecution to take him out of the match. Lita yanks Maria in and mocks her. Lita chokes her against the ropes as Edge mocks her from the floor. Finally, Maria avoids a spear from Lita and makes the hot tag to Cena. Clearly, this is a bit rushed because Maria wasn’t in trouble long. Cena with a series of clotheslines and a Protobomb. YOU CAN’T SEE ME! Edge and Lita try to team up, but Lita accidentally gives Edge a Litacanrana. Lita tries to use her breasts to get out of trouble, but Cena no-sells them. Edge sneaks in, but he accidentally spears Lita. Lot of “accidents” going on. Maria tags herself in and covers for the win. As a result, Cena gets to introduce his own special guest referee — Mick Foley. *1/2

Final Thoughts: None of the matches were particularly good, but there were a lot of them. We’re also that much closer to finding a #1 contender. I think we can probably guess at least one of the finalists, though. Not a bad week. At least most of the matches had some sort of import. No Rawtopsy next Monday due to Dog Show.

J.D. Dunn