411’s TNA Impact Report 2.15.07

-We get a video recap of Against All Odds.

-Scott Steiner makes his way to the ring. “You see about a month ago Cage called me and asked for help to beat Angle. Hoe sweet it is when a plan comes together. It was easy. Why? In August I was negotiating new contract but it was put on hold, for them to sign you and take my money from me. Why are you so special? Who have you beaten? I beat Cena, Batista and I don’t care how many times HHH slept with the boss’s daughter, I beat him too. And I am better than you because your wife keeps on calling me, because she wants satisfaction from a real man, a genetic freak.”

-Angle makes his way to the ring. I know you have a reputation for being an egomaniac. I didn’t come here for money, I will gladly kick your ass for free. I came here to do big things, and go head to head with my former employers. This locker room doesn’t need you. Steiner says screw you and the company. Angle says either talk or do something about it. BRAWL! GERMAN by Angle! Ankle lock on Steiner! Cage is out and eats a belly to belly by Angle. Ankle lock on him and Tomko is out. GERMAN for Tomko! Ankle lock on him! Steiner takes him down and all three beat down Angle but here is Joe, VMK, Rhino and some others to break that up.

-Angle tells Joe that they have been through hell, and he did promise him a title shot, and he will get it, but he will have to go through him, may the best man win. They shake.

-Opening video time and Tenay and West welcome us to Impact.

-They lower the NEW ELEVATION X structure into place. It looks bad ass I will say.

-Backstage with LAX. Konnan says those Ho’s 3D are mad because they lost their own match. TNA is apparently unhappy and they don’t give a damn. Spike tried to censor things, but not when he was attacked. The Latino Nation is stronger and more violent ever. TO live and Die in LAX, 5150…BBBBBBBBBLAT~!

-Back from commercial and Cage is pissed because he is bigger than TNA. He says this Gauntlet match is insane. He says it is 12 on 1, because it is times like this where it pays to have his friends and family. He tells them to toss everyone and then forfeit the match, and that will make him a happy champion. Steiner says that’s bullshit because he wants a title shot. He calls Tomko a redneck and Cage wants a group hug. That doesn’t work well. He tells Tomko that he has always been like a son to him. Tomko blows him off and calls him Dad.

NON-TITLE MATCH: LAX © (Homicide y Hernandez) vs. Shark Boy & Norman Smiley

A new member of the Latino Nation pushes Konnan to the ring. Is Machete back? They begin the destruction of Sharky and Norman. Sharky and Norman battle back and dance! Diamond Cutter and a Cracka Jack take then down now. SWEET powerbomb by Hernandez, Senton by Cide and that is all.

Winners: LAX @ 0:55 via pin

-LAX celebrate. 3D is on the screen and they won’t go away. He says they made a phone call. Steven Schirripa from The Sopranos is here, he is apparently “cousins” with Ray and Devon and is here to put out a hit on them or something. He was eating a sammich and saw Uncle Nicky getting beat down. He makes fun of LAX and says they are crap. He says he is bringing his wise guys and next week, there will be a belting pot match. Lumberjacks with straps, both teams bring their guys. After that he will deal out some 5-card stud so they can have a special Impact Zone edition of Casino Cinema. Why does every name have to have a wacky name. Konnan says to bring all the Sopranos, Goodfellas and Emeril. LAX will be all over them like a monkey on a cupcake, or 3D on a medium pizza. Konnan is great.

-We see footage of Eric Young getting hoodwinked at the PPV by Brooks and Roode.

-Backstage Eric asks Brooks what happened to them. She laughs and says he looks like apathetic idiot. She says not to look at him because she would never be with him. He got what he wanted, screwed. Roode is here and says to speak when spoken too. He makes him take his shirt off. In the gauntlet match it is Young’s job to make sure he wins. JB asks why they are doing that to him and they tell him to shut up. Bob Backlund walks by, just walks by.

-We get highlights of the feud between Gail Kim and Miss Tennessee.

ARM WRESTLING MATCH: Miss Tennessee vs. Gail Kim

I think Gail’s pants are painted on. Not a bad thing, just a glorious observation.

They lock it up, it’s arm wrestling what do you want. They fight, back and forth and Gail wins!

Winner: Gail Kim

-Storm in and tosses the table over. The ladies brawl and Storm pulls Gail off of her. They double team her now. Petey hits the ring and goes after Storm. He grabs Tennessee, but Storm takes him down. Harris is here from the crowd and chases Storm away.

-In the back with Chris Sabin. Next week there is a ladder match for the #1 contender. He is mocking Lynn being old. Backlund is here. Sabin has insulted senior citizens. He will be at the ladder match next week to hand pick someone to destroy him.

-Now to PCS Idol. They will sing today. Lethal sings Amazing Grace horribly. So Cal Val does Paula, Nash does Simon. Lethal mocks Savage now, pretty well, actually he nails it He rules. Fat Naked Oily Guy is there as well to judge with Nash. Val drinks from a flask to mock Paula, nice. Lethal is going to Paduka because he won I guess. Ok.

-Back from commercial with Killing being Rocky and arguing with a big fat black lady. Ok.

-A video package of Sting vs. Abyss is next.

14-Man #1 Contender’s Gauntlet

Sting is #1. AJ is #2. Cornette is on commentary, HOORAH~! Sting stalks AJ. AJ backs off as the crowd is all over him. AJ pays stay away. Go behind by AJ, rights to Sting. Off the rope and a backdrop by Sting. Slam and another by Sting. #3 is Rhino as Sting misses the splash. Rhino unloads on AJ. Off the ropes and a shoulder tackle. Another. Press slam by Rhino and we head to commercial @ 1:35.

Back from commercial @ 5:44 with a Christopher Daniels video package. Finally back to the match @ 6:10 as Sabin, Storm and Kip James are all in the ring. Abyss is out now @ #7. He goes right after Sting. Big boot to Rhino now. AJ goes for a high five and he goozles and CHOKESLAMS AJ! HAHAHA! Sidekick by Sabin to Abyss and tries a tornado DDT, but Abyss tosses him. #8 is Kurt Angle. GERMAN on Storm! He lays the boots to him and then after Kip. Clothesline to Kip. Storm over now, off the ropes and Angle tosses him. Sting and Abyss continue to brawl as Rhino and AJ have paired off. #9 is Tomko. He attacks Sting. Then after Kip. AJ tries a RANA to toss Rhino…they both hang on and Tomko nails them both and they are gone. GERMAN on Tomko by Angle. #10 is Samoa Joe! He charges in and jabs to everyone that moves! Kip fires away on him, but Joe tosses him by the hair! Jabs to Tomko as we head to commercial @ 10:10.

Back from commercial @ 13:20, during the commercial BG, Young and Roode all made their entrances. #14 is Steiner. He starts hitting anything that moves. Now after Sting, Steiner has new baggy leather pants for ring gear. Steiner tosses BG James. Joe beats down Roode. Angle is almost tossed but stays in. Sting seemingly saved him, he is stupid. Joe and Abyss brawl and Joe charges…RUNNING Yakuza and Abyss is gone! GERMAN by Angle on Roode! Steiner works over Joe now, Angle tries to toss Roode and Steiner runs over and tosses him! Roode managed to stay in. Steiner and Angle jaw at each other as Roode levels Sting with a clothesline. Roode and Steiner beat him down now. Young doesn’t want to help and backs off. Stinger splash on Roode, a clothesline takes him out and Steiner then tosses Sting! Tomko gets a big boot to Young and then tosses him, and Tomko, Joe and Steiner are left. Joe prepares himself and they go after Joe now. Steiner double legs him and Tomko with rights to Joe. Off the ropes, clothesline and elbow drop by Steiner. He tells Tomko to top that, snap suplex by Tomko on Joe. They try a double suplex and connect. Steiner and Tomko talk, grab Joe and try and toss him…Joe fights and he kicks Tomko away and then falls to the apron. They nail him repeatedly, Tomko stops Steiner and Joe tosses him!

Down to Joe vs. Tomko, first pin or submission wins. Tomko slams Joe to the corner, charges…Joe moves and gets an Enziguri! Tomko up top…MUSCLE BUSTA BY JOE! 1…2…3!

Winner and #1 Contender for the NWA Title: Samoa Joe @ 19:51 (12:05 Shown)

-Cage hits the ring and they stand off with Joe. Angle is back and they all stand off as the show ends.

-Ending video package runs.