The Impact Crater 08.16.07

Welcome, one and all, to the Impact Crater. Before we get to the show proper, I just want to mention a few news items regarding TNA, because this has been a rather interesting week for the company.

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: Ron Killings/Pac-Man Jones Interview
Segment #2: Jay Lethal def. Chris Daniels for the number one contendership to the X Division Title
Segment #3: Kurt Angle interview
Segment #4: Abyss def. Christian in a first blood match for the number one contendership to the TNA Title

Angle Numero Uno: “Total Nonstop Angle” Isn’t Just a Heel Catchphrase

You’re all well aware by this point that Kurt Angle won his match with Samoa Joe at the last pay per view, and he now holds the TNA Title, the X Division Title, the TNA Tag Team Titles, and the fake IWGP Title. Tonight was the night that we got to see exactly what was going to happen as a result of Angle holding all of the belts, but it just wouldn’t be a Kurt Angle-centric TNA show if that didn’t happen after a bunch of WACKY SKITS!

This week’s theme: An award show. Woohoo. Angle celebrated his victory and honored his wife Karen, Kevin Nash, and his new pal “Trade Mark,” who played the role of Karen’s date at the pay per view. So let me get this straight. This week, TNA got rid of four members of its roster, two of whom had been with them virtually since the beginning fo the company. There’s not room on the roster for these men, but somehow the company can create a role and cut paychecks for Kevin Nash (who hasn’t wrestled in god knows how long) and a non-wrestler named Trade Mark? Seriously, why are they integral parts of this angle, and why are they getting TV time and pushes that could be going to actual professional wrestlers? Do they possess any great level of talent that makes them better suited for these roles than any of the large number of men who are sitting on TNA’s roster while getting virtually no exposure? Near as I can tell, the answer to both of those questions is no. In a lot of ways, that was the most aggravating part of this segment.

However, it wasn’t the only aggravating part of the segment. We saw Jim Cornette interrupt the festivities to announce that, at the next pay per view, Angle will defend the TNA Title, the X Division Title, and the Tag Team Titles. (For some reason that was not explained, he will not be defending the fake IWGP Title, despite the fact that Cornette had the power to make a match for it at the last show.) Jay Lethal gets the X Title shot, Abyss gets the World Title shot, and Team Pac-Man (more on them later) gets the Tag Title shot. For the life of me, I cannot understand what the point of this is. I’d assume that TNA is attempting to lure in pure wrestling fans by putting Angle all over the show, but, if that is the company’s philosophy, they fail to understand that our Olympic gold medalist is hardly the professional wrestler that he was five years ago. Though he’s certainly capable of pulling out good matches, putting Kurt up against a somewhat competent opponent is no longer the guarantee of a ****+ encounter that it used to be. It’s certainly not any more likely to result in PPV full of great in-ring action than throwing together a bunch of random X Division guys in a series of three matches would. Also, given that Pac-Man Jones is still receiving national attention for his TNA appearances, this robs undercard wrestlers of an opportunity to get a rub by going up against him, instead reserving all of the spotlight for one Mr. Kurt Angle, a man who is quickly becoming more obnoxious than Triple H and Jeff Jarrett were at the height of their glory hogging.

Plus, the segment wrapped up with a pull apart brawl between Kurt Angle and Matt Morgan. Are they feuding with one another. NO! Why was that necessary?

Angle Numero Dos: This is How It Ends?

As ridiculous as the Kurt Angle segment was, the award for absolute worst booking on Impact this week has to go to what has become of the Abyss vs. Christian feud. Those of you who were reading this column at the beginning of the summer are aware that I was quite excited for the potential that this angle had, because it appeared that TNA really was building it up as a classic, old school rivalry with Abyss having to run the gauntlet through Christian’s flunkies before finally getting his hands on the mastermind behind the brutal attack that kept him out of action for so long. Things were going well, with Abyss picking off AJ Styles and Tomko in singles matches and doing a couple of tags against them with Sting as his partner. Then we go in to the pay per view, which was headlined by Abyss, Sting, and Test taking on Christian’s crew in a big cage match that promised a lot of blood. Abyss’ team got the win with Abyss pinning Styles but not really getting his revenge against Christian. Great, I thought. That means that we’ll see a one-on-one match between Christian and Abyss on the next pay per view to finally settle their score. That’s fine booking, I thought.

Well, I was wrong. Instead of doing a pay per view match between Christian and Abyss, TNA decided that it would be a better idea to take the epic, feud ending blowoff between the two men and put it on free TV. Not only did they put it on free TV, but they put it on the free TV show immediately following the pay per view, meaning that it got NO BUILD WHATSOEVER. Now TNA can’t even pop a television rating with this match, let alone draw any pay per view buys based off of it. Plus Abyss’ “victory” in the feud winds up being tainted by the fact that he couldn’t win the match without help from Samoa Joe, who corked Christian with a chairshot leading up to the monster’s victory. Only this promotion could take something that I was so excited about for so long, do it right for the majority of its run, and then completely destroy everything that was awesome about it within the span of about ten minutes.

Angle Numero Tres: Joe’s Misdirected Anger

The hits just keep on coming. TNA didn’t just book Kurt Angle in a pointless series of PPV matches that won’t help business whatsoever. TNA didn’t just fire four guys in the same week that they gave a massive on-screen pushes to three non-wrestling characters. TNA didn’t just blow off their hottest feud of the summer with an unannounced match that ran five minutes long and was interrupted by a commercial break. They also continued their long string of booking blunders involving one Samoa Joseph.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t necessarily have a problem with Joe losing the match against Kurt Angle at the pay per view. However, when TNA decided that they were going to book Joe as the only guy on the face of the planet who didn’t realize that Karen Angle would be turning on him by the end of the evening, he wound up looking like a total putz and somebody who’s not even worthy of wrestling on Impact, let alone for the World Title on a pay per view event. Of course, they could have rebuilt Joe’s character a little bit on this episode of Impact. You figure that he’d be ready to get revenge against the Angles for what they did to him, right? Wrong. Instead, Joe shows up and acts like a guy who couldn’t care less that he was just screwed out of every championship in the promotion. He barely says a word about Kurt Angle, he doesn’t lay a hand on Kurt Angle, and, in fact, he’s never even on camera at the same time as Kurt Angle. Instead, he gets in Christian’s face during an interview and then costs Christian his match against Abyss. So now Joe’s character isn’t just stupid because he can’t figure out that Karen is going to turn on him. He’s now monumentally stupid because he can’t even figure out who he’s supposed to be angry at after he gets screwed over.

The best part of this, though, as that Joe interrupted Christian’s interview by throwing a watermelon at part of the set. Don’t ask me why Joe was carrying a watermelon around. My guess is that TNA originally wanted him to throw a barrel as part of a new Donkey Kong inspired gimmick (you know, to build to a feud with Pac-Man Jones), but Nintendo threatened to sue.

Angle Numero Cuatro: Ron Killings = Ms. Pac-Man?

But that’s not all, folks! In your opening segment of the evening, Ron Killings came out and once again confronted Pac-Man Jones. Despite the fact that Killings is the prime suspect in the “Who laid out Pac-Man?” angle from the pay per view, he was somehow able to convince Pac-Man that they two of them should team up at the pay per view to go after Kurt Angle’s Tag Team Titles. There was no adequate explanation given as to why Killings now wanted to befriend this man. There was no adequate explanation given as to why Pac-Man should trust anybody in TNA after being laid out. There was adequate explanation given as to why Pac-Man’s top priority is now getting the tag straps instead of figuring out who put the hurt on him. There was no adequate explanation as to how Jim Cornette can sign Pac-Man Jones to a match despite the fact that TNA has already acknowledged on air that a court order prevents him from participating in wrestling bouts. Basically, this story is like a kid’s teeth after an all you can eat candy buffet: Full of holes.

Pac-Man and Ms. Pac-Man also mauled an autograph-seeking Eric Young, so I guess that’s a match for Killings next week . . . or at least it would be if the company wasn’t being booked by a rock and a potato.

Overall

Though I’m sure you’ve already figured out that my opinion of this show was rather negative, I will give TNA a little bit of credit before tearing in to them. As far as pacing is concerned, I felt that this was actually one of their better programs. It didn’t feel as rushed through as the majority of Impacts do, and they kept the level of extraneous wrestlers down to an absolute minimum. I’ll give them credit for that. What I WON’T give them credit for, though, is the hideous job that they did of building for the next pay per view. Instead of Abyss finally getting his revenge against Christian at the big show, that feud is now finished with TNA never even giving themselves the opportunity to do any decent business off of it. Kurt Angle is now wrestling three matches on the pay per view, and I’m willing to bet that only one of them will receive any build or captivate any level of fan interest heading in to the show. Samoa Joe, once the hottest act in the company, is now a JTTS with intelligence equal to that of the fruit he throws around backstage.

But, hey, they might get two hours! That’ll fix everything, right?!

Reader Feedback

For those of you who missed it, last week I celebrated the Impact Crater’s one year anniversary. John R., who has been writing in virtually since the beginning fo the column, congratulates me on that and also brings up a couple of extra points:

Congratulations Ryan! To be honest, I didn’t think you’d want to continue recapping TNA for all of their nonsensical booking over the past year, yet you must have the patience of Job. Although I do see where some people like Bernard in his letter to you last week might think that you’re splitting hairs a bit much, I think that you’re just looking for the simplest idea for effective wrestling: two competitors, a legitimate reason for someone to care about the angle, and a payoff that has fans thinking “That was worth it!” in the end. Gee, why can’t TNA figure that out? I have enough confusion in my life from career & marriage, I don’t need it when I’m watching wrestling. Thanks to this soap opera that’s supposed to be the Angle’s mess, I still don’t have a reason to buy Hard Justice on Sunday. Perhaps some more Scott Steiner promos would’ve helped.

Anyway, here’s to another year of Impact Craters (big up to Meehan for the logo). If you can maintain your sanity despite all of TNA’s craziness, then it’ll be all worth it.

I probably wouldn’t have bought the PPV regardless of the number of Scott Steiner promos that the company ran, but they at least would have made for more entertaining television than what we ultimately got in the weeks leading up to Hard Justice. And, you’re right, it seems that the key to booking effective big events in 2007 is simplicity. If you look at the most successful events from this year and even from last year, that has been their common thread. It’s true when you’re talking about WWE, it’s true when you’re talking about UFC, and it’s even true when you’re talking about the one TNA pay per view that has done better than their average numbers. Unfortunately, no matter how many times people preach that fact (and I’m certainly not the only one doing it), TNA just isn’t going to make the connection. If they do, all the more power to them . . . but I’m definitely losing faith.

Will G. from Nottingham also wants to talk a little bit about the anniversary, but he’s taking me to task for a couple of things that I said when counting down my favorite and least favorite moments in Crater history. I’ll spare him the Robin Hood jokes and move straight in to the e-mail:

I’m a big fan of the Impact Crater, it’s well written and serves a great job as a comment piece on a show rather than just a second review with some jokes in… but far be it from me to accuse you of negativity – TWO of your favourite five moments in a show you slated at the time as needing a drinking game to get through? “I know Comic Book Guy inspired hyperbole is all the rage on the internet, but this really may have been the worst Impact ever.” With TWO of your favourite moments in. You’re a hard man to please Mr Byers.

Also why do you think TNA excells at three way dances so much? Your favourite TV match has been 3D/LAX/Daniels & Styles. Most people call Rhyno/Angle/Cage the best TV match. The only 5 star match in TNA history by Dave Meltzer’s reckoning was Daniels/Styles/Joe. Is it the six sided ring? Or have they just got the talent to stay clear of the cheesy “I knock you out then fight with him, then we switch up” formula that most three ways fall into.

Will is referring to the September 21, 2006 edition of Impact, which I labeled as being horrendous despite the fact that it contained an excellent interview segment with LAX and an amusing skit with Alex Shelley and Eric Young searching for Sting. There’s a simple explanation here for the seeming disconnect, namley that there is a world of difference between reviewing a show as a whole and evaluating its segments in isolation. It is entirely possible for a show to have one or two particularly amusing or effective segments with the rest of it being utterly miserable, thereby negating the effect of the good segments when taking the show as a whole. This was definitely the case with that September 21 show, as, even though the LAX segment was awesome, the rest of the program featured:

1.) Jeff Jarrett punking out Samoa Joe, which put a dent in Joe’s credibility at the time. (Little did I know that things were to get much worse.)
2.) An insufferable X Division match which was part of a long series of insufferable X Division matches taking place during this time.
3.) A DQ in a no DQ match between Rhino and Monty Brown.

So, yes, the majority of the program was hideous, and nothing that LAX could do would have saved it. The Young/Shelley segment was amusing enough that it made my list of top five moments, but, at the end of the day, a two minute long comedy skit is never going to have that much effect on the overall quality of the show.

As to the three way dance question, I think that TNA typically does well with them because they’re more conducive to the style of wrestling that the company wants to promote. Generally they want to have bouts that go all out with constant action and as little resting as possible. That is always easier to achieve when you have more bodies in a match. Of course, the problem becomes that, to achieve their desired style, TNA will often throw MORE than three men (or teams) in to the ring at the same time, and that’s when things start to cross over from “great, action packed match” to “overbooked clusterfuck.”

Shaun H. wants to talk to me about Matt Morgan:

Firstly, happy belated Impact Crater™ anniversary for last week! Well done on making it this far through what my friends & I call the “RUSSO! *shakes fist angrily at TV* Era” of TNA (Oh, how we long for the day he is fired) with hopefully only minor psychological damage (to have none at all would be impossible)!!

Can anyone say Black Machismo?

You’re right, I made no connection whatsoever between Arn Anderson and Matt Morgan. Now that you mention it, there’s a slight resemblance. However, I think Morgan looks a bit more like Ole than Arn.

We’ll let Ryan S. have the final word. He sent this to me primarily in response to Sunday night’s pay per view as opposed to anything that I had written:

I am writing to you as a Crater fan and as a disgruntled TNA fan. I feel that Hard Justice was it for me on TNA as long as the booking remains as incoherent as it currently is. After WCW slowed down in 1998, I stopped watching, and when they made the big changes with Russo and Ferrera, I cared even less. I didn’t watch WCW for three years, but always had a desire to see it, just because trainwrecks are amusing.

In closing, I would love to see how much money has been spent on signing guys like Pacman, Rhodes, Test, etc. I’ll bet that TNA could take all that money they have squandered on nothing and pay Jim Cornette to book their shows. But I guess that’s up to Double J. If he wants a vanity program full of crap and WCW circa ’99, then he should keep going in the same direction. But if he wants to start making some money, making some headlines and having strong television that would lead to interesting PPV matches that people would want to buy, then he should hire a real wrestling mind, not someone that couldn’t hold Gerwitz’s jock.

Frankly, I don’t know that there’s much that I can add to that. However, young Ryan is certainly not alone in his sentiments. As evidenced by e-mails like these and the boycott addressed above, it really does seem that TNA is pissing away a lot of the good will that it had built up with its long-time fans. Granted, the company may be able to replace these fans or the company may continue without replacing them just because Panda seems so content to pump tons of money in to the promotion. Whether the outrage amongst TNA’s core fans that has appeared over the course of the last week affects their bottom line or not, one thing is certain: I don’t think that I’ve ever seen a group of people that was once so passionate about defending something have such a complete reversal of opinion in such a short period of time.

And that’s a wrap for this week. Be sure to check me out Sunday when I return to 411 with the Custom Made News Report, and also take a look at the MySpace, where you can add me as a friend to receive alerts when I publish new material.