The Impact Crater 09.27.07

Well, here we are, boys and girls. It’s the end of an era. After tonight, TNA Impact’s one hour format is no more. The company will finally move to two hours next week, and they’ve claimed for quite some time that this two hour program is necessary in order for them to present a quality professional wrestling product. I’ve already made it clear throughout the history of this column that I find that claim to be suspect at best. However, we will see in just seven short days whether TNA does manage to improve its recently atrocious show as a result of the extra time. All we can do for the time being is evaluate whether tonight’s one hour show was any good.

Quick & Dirty Results

Segment #1: The Dudley Boys def. Sonjay Dutt & Shark Boy
Segment #2: The Murder City Machine Guns def. Lance Hoyt & Jimmy Rave
Segment #3: Roxxi LaVeaux def. Gail Kim, Christy Hemme, Jackie Moore, & Traci Brooks in a five-way match
Segment #4: Sting/Ricky Banderas Brawl

The Full Show

Angle Numero Uno: Once Again, Judas Screws Over a Christian

The majority of the show was devoted to asking and ultimately answering the question of what Sting would do in response last week’s sneak attack, in which Ricky Banderas jumped him from behind and strangled him with a noose. Granted, we never got an explanation as to WHY Banderas attacked Sting, but by god we were going to see if Sting had an answer. Segments hyping up Sting’s eventual response were played throughout the evening, and I have to say that this did a good job of making the eventual confrontation between the Stinger and the former WSX Champion seem important. An excellent video package highlighting Banderas’ path of destruction thusfar in TNA also helped matters immensely. Of course, anything would be better than seeing another Angle family sitcom play out through Impact’s forty-two minutes.

There’s only one major problem with dedicating the majority of your TV time to Sting battling it out with Ricky Banderas. Last I checked, Sting was NOT wrestling Banderas at the next pay per view. Instead, he’s going one on one with Kurt Angle, whereas Banderas doesn’t even have a match announced for the show. (Though, presumably, he’s going to be doing something against Abyss and/or Rhino.) The problem with TNA’s business over the last several years has been their inability to sell pay per views, and I don’t understand how they could possibly be remedying this problem by centering an entire episode of Impact around an angle that will not result in one single PPV purchase. I might have given them a pass on this if they had used an equal amount of time on the show to hype at least one of the major programs on the Bound for Glory lineup, but, as will become evident throughout the rest of the review, that did not happen. There was a video package here and there to recap a feud, but nothing aside from a few fleeting seconds at the end of the episode did anything to fan the flames of hatred between two men (or teams) who will be squaring off on TNA’s “biggest show of the year.” Ridiculous.

Of course, Banderas and Sting ultimately did come to blows, with the former WCW Champion actually managing to stand up to Banderas, as though they were equals. Granted, you don’t want to have the number one contender to the TNA Title looking weak before his big shot, but putting your new “monster” character in to a position in which he has to sell for an extended period of time also strikes me as a dumb idea. So, how do you fix an angle in which you need two men to brawl but neither man can afford to take a beating at the hands of the other? Well, you don’t book the angle in the first place! At the very least, Angle’s involvement should have been moved up to a point very early in the brawl. That prevents Banderas from having to sell, it allows Sting to save face heading in to the World Title match, and it assists in building the heat for said title match.

And, after Sting and Banderas made their way in to the six sided ring, the parade of run-ins began. Angle jumped Sting. Rhino ran in to save Sting but got overpowered. Abyss ran in and cleared out the heels. This felt like somebody was writing the episode and, after completing 90% of the script, thought, “Oh yeah, we’ve got feuds to push for the PPV!” Maybe it’s just me, but those PPV feuds should be the first thing on the writers’ minds, not the afterthought that they apparently were this week.

Angle Numero Dos: Dudleys vs. The World

The other angle which received a significant amount of TV time was Bubba and D-Von Dudley’s new quest to take out every team in the tag division so that TNA will give them a shot at the championships. Much like Banderas/Sting, this sounds like a good feud in theory until you realize that it in no way, shape, or form sets up a match for the pay per view. All the Dudleys did was squash several teams who are already at the bottom of the division, and you can be damn sure that none of those duos will be PPV opponents for the ECW originals.

My other problem with this angle was that it unnecessarily dragged out through two segments. In the first match of the show, the Dudleys defeated Sonjay Dutt and Shark Boy in a match that was a complete comedic squash. (By the way, portraying the guys who are destroying your tag division as a couple of jovial goofballs is also not a good idea.) After that match, they attempted to destroy Shark Boy’s throat with a steel chair but failed thanks to Guru-ference. Then, in the next segment, the Murder City Machine Guns beat Jimmy Rave and Lance Hoyt in a match that seemingly had no angle attached to it . . . until, of course, the Dudleys ran in and killed the MCMGs. At this point, Shark Boy ran in. No explanation was given for why Sharky, a staunch babyface, suddenly cared so much for the well-being of heels Sabin and Shelley. Also unexplained was a neck brace which Bubba Dudley pulled off of TNA’s “cult hero” before wacking him in the throat with a chair. If the idea is for the Dudley Boys to lay out Alex Shelly, Chris Sabin, and Shark Boy, why were two segments necessary? Why not just book the Machine Guns against Dutt and Sharky with the Duds destroying both teams afterwards? That would free up an entire segment of the show, which could then be devoted to furthering an angle which actually leads to a PPV match.

And the Rest . . .

~ The New Age Outlaws cut a promo with Jeremy Borash in which proclaimed their dislike for the fans. I hate to sound like a broken record, but I again have to ask how this leads to a PPV match.

~ There are a lot of diehard TNA fans who are absolutely appalled that the company has not been pushing Chris Sabin and Alex Shelley. Well, if Sabin and Shelley keep performing like they did tonight, I don’t see that push coming anytime soon. Their match against Hoyt and Rave was looked sloppy, mechanical, and choreographed. I like both guys and have seem them have great matches, but boy did they choose a bad time to have an off night.

~ Speaking of terrible matches, let’s talk about the women’s division. Anybody who knows me will tell you that I’m a big fan of serious women’s wrestling, which I hoped against hope that TNA’s division would actually provide. If tonight is any indication, I would be better suited watching WWE to get my ladies’ wrestling fix. The five-woman match tonight was wretched, although it was not at all the fault of the competitors. TNA decided to launch its brand new division by giving five women five minutes in which to put together a match, and then they spent at least one of those minutes focusing on men brawling outside the ring. The really frustrating part is that any two-woman combination of the five ladies in the ring could have put on a solid five minute singles match if called upon to do so. If things keep going this way, the TNA Women’s Championship may wind up being the least reputable belt in wrestling today. Yes, even less reputable than the WWE Cruiserweight Title.

Overall

You know, I haven’t liked the majority of TNA’s shows for the last eleven months or so, but at least most weeks it feels like they’re trying. Granted, what they wind up producing is usually not a good wrestling program, but I can at the very least see in at least a couple of the segments that somebody tried to produce an effective show, even if their definition “effective show” is skewed. This week, however, even the effort was gone. I don’t know how anybody could book a wrestling television program in which literally ALL of the promotion’s major feuds are ignored for virtually the entire episode. There was no Samoa Joe. There was no Christian. There was no AJ Styles. There was only two minutes of Kurt Angle. There wasn’t even any Pac-Man Jones. This is even more confusing when you consider the fact that this show was taped at the same time as the last two episodes of Impact, meaning that all of those men were available to be used in furtherance of their PPV angles. Instead, we got a show filled with Jimmy Rave, Lance Hoyt, Shark Boy, Sonjay Dutt, Alex Shelley, Chris Sabin, and the women’s division. I like many of the competitors on that list and wish that they had an opportunity to be featured more on TNA television. However, at this point in their careers, they mean nothing to the majority of fans, and they aren’t going to entice anybody to either stay tuned to Impact or to buy PPV. This show gets a massive thumbs down.

But, hey, two hours will fix everything!

Reader Feedback

Tyler K. is going to get this party started:

I don’t usually write in, though I’m a regular reader, but last night’s Impact actually made me angry that TNA can waste their talent like that. They don’t show the MCMGs, LAX, Daniels, Lethal or any number of others, so we can see Rikishi doing the same ol’ shit he has done for the better part of a decade. Joe doesn’t wrestle or talk but gets to hang out with Rikishi, brilliant!

Keep up the good work, though, I’m not sure I’m sadistic enough to keep watching every week, so I’m glad I could just read your recap instead.

I agree with the vast majority of what was said here. On the subject of talent, I don’t necessarily have that much of a problem with TNA bringing in guys like Rikishi, the Bashams, or even Test. HOWEVER, with that said, I don’t want to see these men do the same exact thing that they did when they were a part of WWE. The majority of the time, when a wrestler is let go from the E, it’s because the writers can’t think of anything to do with them which will keep them over with the crowd. That’s an indication that whatever they were doing in WWE was not working. Yet, TNA fails to realize this and generally brings in these men (especially Rikishi) to portray characters that are exactly the same as the ones WWE wanted to eliminate from their television programs. Bringing in wrestlers rejected by WWE isn’t that much of a problem. Bringing in characters rejected by WWE is.

As far as the Sting/Kurt Angle feud and the build to the Bound for Glory main event is concerned, Tyler pretty much hit the nail on the head. Unfortunately, as those of us who have read the spoilers all know, there’s more to come from the “family” side of this rivalry.

Up next we have Amit:

I read your Impact Crater almost every week, and I enjoy reading how you criticize the stupid company called TNA. I used to watch weekly TNA PPVs before Impact started and anyone even knew about TNA and the matches and feuds were much better than the current TNA. TNA was my fav company as it focused less on feuds and more on action and I loved X Division and homegrown teams like AMW, Team Canada, etc. I guess now it’s become shit. I mean gimmicks are necessary but they must be entertaining not lame like TNA gimmicks. Look at WWE, how they make entertaining gimmicks like that of Finlay, man who loves to fight or Randy Orton, guy who wants to destroy legends. TNA’s gimmicks suck and their action, X Division, and show is beginning to suck.

Anyway, who am I to call TNA a stupid company, its ratings have increased from1 to 1.2 and its getting a two hour slot. It is one of highest rated shows on spike and it has got an audience of 1.5 million fans, but I feel it can be better and even beat WWE if they utilize their potential instead of becoming WWE ripoffs. Can you tell me what their financial condition is like? Must be bad. Panda Energy is indeed generous to destroy money on a worthless product like TNA. I want to know if fans like Karen Angle and Sting’s feud.

I’ll start with the company’s financial situation, because, above all else, it tells the tale about the promotion’s creative direction being ineffective. According to sources like the Wrestling Observer and F4W Online, TNA’s primary revenue stream is pay per view. So, if the company isn’t selling pay per view events, they’re not doing well. As it turns out, TNA PPVs regularly sell between 15,000 and 25,000 buys, which has not been enough to make the company profitable. As Amit correctly noted, they have a pool of over one million free TV viewers from which they can draw in order to earn a sufficient amount of PPV buys, but the television product that they produce has simply failed to accomplish that goal. In fact, PPV buys are at the same level now that they were when the company had no television whatsoever. When TNA Impact was only available on the internet and was only an hour long, buyrates were virtually the same as they are now. Despite this fact, TNA apparently thinks that their current creative direction will remedy all of their financial troubles. However, that’s simply not the case. History has proven it. If TNA does not learn from that history, they’re going to be in a world of trouble, because, even if they turn the corner and start profiting tomorrow, they still need to make back several millions of dollars in losses that they’ve incurred since forming five years ago. Frankly, I don’t know if that is possible.

And, as they say in Hollywood, that’s a wrap. Be sure to check me out on Sunday in the Custom Made News Report, and then come back here in seven days for my breakdown of the first two hour Impact!