411’s TNA Impact Report 1.24.08

TNA Impact Begins…NOW!
-We get a video package highlighting last week runs.

-In the locker room Cornette bitches out some people. He is getting heat from management, and if he goes out, he will go out in glory. So Devine will challenge Lethal for the X-Title, and then 3D charges in and says that they should get a world tag team title match. Ray makes fun of Crystal and then a scaffold joke on Cornette and says they deserve a tag title shot. Now it will be The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Team 3D vs. Tomko and AJ Styles for the titles. Ray says he and Devon love three ways. I didn’t need to know that.

-Tenay welcomes us and hypes the show, including the 2007 awards, a talk with CHRIS ABYSS MITCHELL and the return of Booker T

~THE SILVER FOX SPEAKS~
-The Silver Fox Kevin Nash makes his way to the ring. Nash says that Cornette screwed up last week, because Joe got screwed. Nash grew up a young, strapping buck in Detroit and they always did things the easy way or the hardy way. He tells Cornette that they can make it easy if he makes things right for Joe, and he’ll mediate. OR…or he can ignore this and then Joe will come out here and you can deal with him face to face. What will it be, “JIMBO?”

Matt Morgan comes to the ring and says that it isn’t the 90’s and no one cares about Nash, the KILQ, n.W.o Wolfpack, they are dead granddaddy cool. And your career is on life support at best. Turn up the hearing aid, because I am the new giant in TNA…and I am better than you. He is also the LAW in TNA. He gives “Mr. Nash” the chance to leave the ring, or be put out. Nash gets pissed, calls Morgan a punk, and Morgan attacks him.

Joe is out and takes out Morgan, helping the man that turned on him at the last PPV. Joe says that tonight, they will do things the hard way. After tonight, Cornette will never forget the name Samoa Joe. He and Nash hug.

-JB is in the back and hypes the 2007 awards. He’s with AJ, Kurt and Karen. Kurt gets pissed and says the Alliance has business to take care of. He tells AJ that they have to have a sit down with Tomko to make him an offer he can’t refuse. AJ doesn’t think he can and Karen says she will work her magic. She says if AJ does this favor for Kurt, she’ll do a favor for him later tonight. AJ is on a mission now.

-Crystal is with Christian Cage. She asks about the MVP award, and Cage asks if he should get his speech ready. Hen then moves onto Tomko and Angle. Tomko is his own man, and he knows Tomko and he respects him. But if he wants to pick a side, let him do it on his own.

Robert Roode and James Storm w/Miss Banks and Jackie Moore vs. Eric Young and Sonjay Dutt

Banks is back to the dark hair, which I approve of. She also has glasses now, and they play it up like she is trying to look like Brooks and totally replace her. Nice touch. Eric and Roode to begin. Storm in and attacks Eric and Roode beats him down. Rights by Roode, an Irish whip and Eric with the Flair flip and then in with a belly to belly on Roode for 2. A knee by Roode, rights and then a trip by Eric. He goes up top and Storm crotches him and he crashes to the mat. Roode covers for 2. Tag to Storm and rights to Eric. Off the ropes and a clothesline connects, followed by a knee and leg drop and a cover for 2. To the corner and boots by Storm, a tag to Roode and Eric fights back with rights, jawbreaker and he looks for a tag…gets it and Dutt in and kicks Storm to the floor. Off the ropes and a back elbow to Roode. Basement dropkick and an Asai moonsault gets 2. All four men in, they brawl and Dutt springboards into a super kick by Storm and then the payoff by Roode and that is all.

Winners: Robert Roode and James Storm @ 3:35 via pin

-The heels celebrate and Miss Brooks charges in and spears Banks! Eric and Roode have to separate them.

-Crystal is with Booker and asks about Sharmell. He blows her off.

~THE 2007 TNA AWARDS: X-Division Wrestler of the Year~
Finalists for X-Division wrestler of the year are Kaz, Chris Sabin, and Black Machismo.

JB and So Cal Val are out to announce the winner, Black Machismo! This was a fan vote at TNAWrestling.com. Machismo makes his way to the ring but doesn’t look that happy. Val gives him a kiss, and that seemed to cheer him up. Machismo speaks now…but puts down the trophy and takes off the glasses. He speaks as Lethal and says he loves the fans and puts his life on the line for them every time he gets in the ring. He does what he can with a smile on his face, but with all of the abuse of 3D, he has lost his smile. For the first time, he is mad as hell and he won’t take it anymore. He plans to start with Devine, because Devine will get an ass beating and he will do it for himself and for all of these people.

-West and Tenay say they haven’t seen this side of him, and then hype the tag title match as well as talk to Abyss.

-Crystal is with Black Reign. Reign says Kaz has Misty and he wants her back. Joe shows up and beats down Reign. Kaz appears and steals Reign’s Darkness Falls weapon and wig.

-We get highlights of last week’s adventures of Shark Boy.

Elix Skipper vs. Stone Cold Sharky

Stone Cold Sharky has a remix of Austin’s theme, with breaking glass and is wearing a vest ala Austin. He attacks Elix and beats him down. Thesz press and rights by Stone Cold Sharky. Elbow smash and head bobbing celebration. Elix fights back, snap mare and kick by Elix. Off the ropes and Elix misses a charge and Stone Cold Sharky stomps a mud hole in Elix and walks it dry. Elix gets…some move, it was like the 3.0 but fucked up, and covers for 2. A belly to belly by Elix, goes up top and MISSES a leg drop. KICK, WHAM, STUNNER by Stone Cold Sharky and that is all.

Winner: Stone Cold Sharky @ 2:13 via pin

-After the match he gets the mic and says what we witnessed was the birth of the new and improved Shark Boy. For three months, everyone and their mom has stomped a mud hole in his ass. Some sorry son of a bitch knocks him down. Starting tonight, “EH EH,” that won’t happen anymore. Shark Boy 24-7 says he just bit your ass. That’s the fishing line, because Shark Boy said so. The crowd even did the “WHAT” to him. He drinks CLAM JUICE in celebration. Wow.

~THE 2007 TNA AWARDS: Knockout of the Year~
Brooks, Hemme and Gail Kim are the finalists.

JB and Val are in the ring, and the winner is Gail Kim. Gail thanks everyone and says it has been an incredible year. She is still suffering from a concussion, and this night should have been of celebration and the title means everything to her and women’s wrestling. But Kong has it now. She then says Kong is a disgrace because while they busted their ass to prove themselves, Kong is only out to hurt people. Kong may have hurt her, but didn’t put her out.

KONG w/masked Melissa are out, and Kong and Kim brawl! Forearms by Kim, but Kong beats her down and gets the spinning back fist. Kong bomb try…but ODB is out to make the save! Kong starts to beat her down, ODB fights back but Kong kills her with a clothesline. Bomb try, ODB escapes and dropkicks her a few times and sends Kong to he floor.

-Crystal is with Angle and Tomko. Angle says they need each other, and asks for Tomko’s help and then says he can join the Alliance. He asks about the perks, and Angle says cars, perks, wine, food and Karen. Tomko asks what that means, and Angle says inspiration. Tomko says he is married with a kid and then says no thanks. Kurt says this is no chick he picked up at a strip joint. That sets Tomko off and he attacks Angle!

-Back from commercial and Kurt and Tomko brawl to the ring. Tomko beats him down and security is here to try and break it up, but they fail many times. They eventually save Kurt, who grabs a mic and challenges Tomko for next week. He calls Tomko’s wife a stripper again and they begin to brawl again.

-Crystal is with Devine and 3D. Devine says that he will do the talking. Tonight we find out why he went to the winning side, and he’ll make a statement and name by defeating Machismo. 3D they says they have the Machineguns number, and they will beat them, AJ and Tomko and win the tag titles. They will then go to the PPV and defend those titles. Tonight they do what they what, when they want.

X-Division Title Street Fight Match: Johnny Devine vs. Black Machismo ©

Machismo charges Devine and we’re off! They brawl at ringside, and Machismo slams Devine to the steps. Chops by Machismo, rights and he gets a chair. Wraps it around the neck of Devine and slams him to the steel post! Machismo tosses a trashcan of toys into the ring, both men in and Machismo in control still. Devine gets a stun gun to stop that, he lays a chair on Machismo and then tries a moonsault, misses it and Machismo gets a DDT onto the chair. We head to a commercial @ 1:50.

Back from commercial @ 6:00 with Machismo beating down Devine with a trashcan. Devine is bleeding and rights by Machismo connect. Off the ropes and a hip toss and then dropkick with the trashcan by Machismo. Devine is bleeding a good bit, Machismo has the kendo and NAILS Devine. LETHAL COMBO~! Up top goes Machismo…3D is out and he DIVES onto them on the floor with a cross body! Machismo in, but gets dropped throat first on a chair by Devine. He covers and gets 2. Devine misses a chair shot, Machismo gets it and lays Devine out. 3D pulls out the ref, and Ray in and nails Machismo with the kendo stick. He puts Devine on Machismo, and that is all.

Winner and NEW X-DIVISION CHAMPION Johnny Devine @ 8:50 via

-Joe is out and 3D runs away. This allows Joe to beat down Devine and put the choke on him.

-Tenay is with CHRIS ABYSS MITCHELL. CHRIS ABYSS MITCHELL is ashamed that James Mitchell is his father. He wears the mask to hide, because he is ashamed. CHRIS ABYSS MITCHELL has issued a challenge for Barbed Wire Massacre II at Against All Odds. He shows off his scars from the first BWM, and says he will inflict new scars on Mesias and Mitchell that will never heal.

~THE 2007 TNA AWARDS: Memorable Moment of the Year~
Nominated are Booker T and Sharmell coming to TNA, Angle wins all of the titles and Sting wins the TNA title.

JB and Kendal Gill, who is on Pros vs. Joes is here to guest present the award. They talk Pros vs. Joes a bit, and Gill hypes the show and some of the other Pros. Gill announces the winner, Booker T and Sharmell come to TNA. Booker comes to the ring and accepts the award from Gill. Booker, like everyone else winning, isn’t happy. He says Sharmell is watching, and says he loves her very much. This is a hard time for him, he has been hurt several times, but this hurts more than anything seeing Sharmell hurt. It’s been hard for him, he will get over it soon. JB asks when he will be back in the ring, and Booker says Sharmell comes first.

Robert Roode is on the screen now. He says this is Booker’s fault. When he threw out the challenge, he never thought Booker would accept. What kind of man, husband, would put their wife in that situation. Roode wouldn’t do that. But Booker did. We see a replay of the injury, FREEZE FRAME. Roode says he did what he had to do. He tells Booker to get home to his wife, and says to give Sharmell his best.

-TO THE BACK and Crystal is with BG and Bullet Bob. BG says he has a wife and kids, and puts a shirt over Crystal’s cleavage. He will kick back and take a vacation to relax. Bullet Bob says for three weeks they will train, MARINE STYLE. Up at 5, train till 8. DO OR DIE! BG isn’t happy because he likes getting paid to be lazy.

Tiger Mask and Curry Man vs. The Rock and Rave Infection w/Hemme

Dear Lord, Hoyt and Rave are dressed like rockers and have guitar hero guitars. Hemme on the mic and does a mic check. She has a mic headset and is even more annoying.

HE’S HOT…HE’S SPICEY…HE TASTES GREAT…HE IS CURRY MAN! VIVA CURRY MAN~! Hoyt and Tiger Mask to begin. Kicks to Hoyt, off the ropes and a tackle by Hoyt. Tag to Rave, off the ropes and a monkey flip by Tiger Mask. Tag to Curry Man, double elbows and then a Curry Man dance! Jawbreaker by Curry Man, Hoyt stops a suplex, tags in and beats down Curry Man. Chops by Curry Man, off the ropes and a cross body try is stopped and Hoyt slams him down. Hoyt chokes him out, and then Rave does as the ref is distracted. Rave tags in, knee and then a Shining Wizard connects and a cover for 2. Hoyt tags back in, Irish whip and a back elbow by Curry Man. Tag to Tiger Mask and a tilt a whirl back breaker to Rave for 2. Tiger Mask sets Rave up top…SUPER BUTTERFLY SUPLEX gets 2! Rave then eats a PELE kick by Tiger Mask, he goes up top and Hoyt tosses him off. Curry Man tosses Rave into Hoyt, PLANCHA by Tiger Mask to Hoyt and he gets slammed down. Curry Man with a SPICY RACK gets 2 as Hoyt makes the save. Tiger Mask tosses Hoyt, they go up top and Curry Man gets a dive onto Hoyt, diving head butt by Tiger Mask onto rave and that is all.

Winners: Tiger Mask and Curry Man @ 4:45 via pin

~BROCK TRAINING VIDEO~
We get a video of Brock training. Angle says he has sparred with Brock, and he trains 9-hours a day and is ready for this. Dana White says Brock is focused on becoming heavyweight champion. Angle then says Brock is the real deal. This all looks like part of the Countdown or All Access show that will air before the PPV.

~THE 2007 TNA AWARDS: MVP of the Year~
Those nominated are Kurt Angle, Christian Cage and Samoa Joe.

Samoa Joe wins and comes to the ring. Again, a winner that doesn’t look happy. Joe eyes down the trophy, and takes the mic. He says it is funny, the fans have spoken and he is the most valuable wrestler in the company. And if that is so, why isn’t he getting a title shot. JB stupidly says that he got one against Angle, and mentions that Joe lost. Joe reflects on these comments, and thinks it is the wrong answer and lays out JB. Cornette is out and tells Joe to stop. Joe destroys the trophy and looks to attack Cornette, but Nash is out to stop Joe. JB is drug away and Cornette says he knows Joe got screwed last week. Cornette offers to make Joe special enforcer for the Against All Odds title match, and Cornette says if he does, he will get a title shot at Destination X. Nash whispers sweet nothings into Joe’s ear, and says he wants a 5-year exclusive deal, and for every year he is in TNA he gets 15% more than Kurt Angle. If he gets it then maybe he will stop acting the way he has been. Cornette agrees to the deal and says he will have it ready for next week. Joe and Nash celebrate, because Nash gets a 10% percent managerial fee. I thought Joe wanted a title shot, not money?

-Crystal is with AJ and Tomko. AJ apologizes for Angle, and Tomko says next week he takes care of Angle and that AJ is about to be a problem with him.

-AJ’s crown is on a special podium so it is there when he makes his entrance. Karen is out with AJ.

TNA World Tag Team Title Match: The Motor City Machine Guns vs. Team 3D vs. Tomko and AJ Styles © w/Karen Angle

They went to commercial before the match, and we are starting at 10:48pm, so hopefully there will be no commercial. Ray and Sabin to begin, arm drags by Sabin ad Tenay tells us the rules are that you cannot tag your own partner in. Sabin works the arm, but Ray rakes the eyes. Off the ropes, kick by Sabin and then eats a slam. AJ tags himself in and beats down Sabin. Kicks by AJ, forearm shots and then a chin lock. Elbows by Sabin, but he eats a back elbow. Sabin back with a kick and then a tornado DDT that gets 2, as Tomko makes a save. Tomko clears the ring, but Ray tosses him to the floor. Superman forearm by AJ and he wipes ray out. AJ with a SENTON DIVE onto the MCMG’S! Karen tries to seduce Ray, AJ tries to stop that and Ray tosses AJ into Karen. Tomko tosses AJ backing the ring and Karen is down. AJ tags out, checks on Karen and picks her up and carries her to the back. 3D gets a reverse 3D on Tomko and WE GET A COMMERCIAL @ 3:45. DAMN IT!

Back from the annoying commercial @ 7:25, and Tomko is on his own and getting beat down by Devon. Devon up top…HEAD BUTT MISSES! Tomko fires up and starts to beat down Devon. Corner mounted punches, but Ray has him on his shoulders…DUDLEYVILLE DEVICE~! 1…2…but the Guns make the save. Everyone is in now, kicks by the Guns to 3D. Double teams to Devon, double kicks now and Ray is back to take out Sabin. Big boot by Tomko, CLOTHESLINE to Devon and that is all.

Winners: Tomko and AJ Styles @ 9:30 via pin

-AJ is back after the match and hugs Tomko. Tomko tosses him down and Christian Cage is on the ramp clapping and smiling.

-Closing wrap up video runs.

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ALSO…

We did another show to discuss WWE possibly running a “Cruel Intentions” angle, TNA Drug Testing, the Rock potentially coming on for WrestleMania Weekend, jokes about be being the HHH of 411, my trip to a sexual harassment workshop and more! From there we move onto DEAR CHRISTI and then give out the details for the next contest! It is on the stream player, but can also be downloaded HERE!

FINALLY…

For the 3rd time in 6-days 411’s Larry and the Wife are back for another broadcast! We are joined by The Evolution Schematic’s Mathew Sforcina to break down the 2008 WWE Royal Rumble Card! Who will win the Rumble? Will MVP Retire Ric Flair? Will either of the big titles change hands? It is available on the stream player, but can be downloaded here! Disclaimer: This was recorded Tuesday night, before the ECW Title change and any news regarding Bobby Lashley broke.