wrestling / TV Reports

The Smackdown Breakdown 1.25.08

January 26, 2008 | Posted by J.D. Dunn

WWE Smackdown
by J.D. Dunn

  • January 25, 2008
  • From the University of Virginia.
  • Your hosts are Michael Cole and Jonathan Coachman.

  • Handicap Match: Rated Rmy vs. Rey Mysterio.
    Rey fights out of the corner early, but Ryder and Hawkins team up for a wheelbarrow facebuster. They hit a doubleteam neckbreaker for two. Mysterio comes back with an enzuigiri. A springboard crossbody gets two as Edge looks on backstage. Mysterio rolls through a sunset flip and kicks Ryder in the head. Hawkins misses a charge and gets wiped out with a pescado. He sets up for the 619, but Ryder brings a chair into the ring for the DQ at 5:34. Rey dropkicks it back into his face and cleans house on the Rmy. I like that Rey was able to keep one step ahead of the Edgeheads with his speed and quickness, but them scurrying away from him is a little silly even if he did have a chair. Oh well, I guess you gotta have your cowardly heels. *3/4

  • Jesse explains that Festus has a personality disorder so he’s at the doctor’s getting help. It occurs to me that if he enters the Rumble, Festus would have to be one of the two first guys in or else he wouldn’t be able to wrestle.
  • Jimmy Wang Yang (w/Shannon Moore) vs. Domino (w/Deuce & Cherry).
    Jimmy goes all Ricky Steamboat on him with the leapfrog, armdrag and chop to the chest. Yang hits a huracanrana and a flying back kick. Domino avoids the baseball slide, though. Back in, Domino hangs Yang out to dry and drops the Statue of Liberty forearm. Yang kicks Domino out of the air (in theory). He hits the corner leg lariat and a crossbody for two. Cherry gets up on the apron, allowing Deuce to snap Yang off the top rope. Moore takes out Deuce as Yang gets his knees up to block a pump splash. That sets up the moonsault block at 5:26. I get the feeling they really want to push Yang but aren’t sure what to do with him. **

  • In the back, Chuck Palumbo and Jamie Noble continue not to get along, but they chill out when Michelle McCool comes in.
  • Six-Person Tag: Jamie Noble, Chuck Palumbo & Michelle McCool vs. John Morrison, The Miz & Layla.
    Layla has a better body than Michelle, but Michelle has a much better wardrobe. Advantage: push. Speaking of wardrobes, Noble has disturbingly phallic trunks on tonight. Palumbo tries some roughhousing early. Noble gets the Thesz Press, but Chuck blind tags himself in and tosses Noble aside. They get into an argument, as do Michelle and Layla on the outside. Michelle is so distracted that she gets knocked off the apron as Chuck shoves Jamie into her. A distraught Jamie goes out to check on her, which enrages Palumbo because he’s a big giant dickhead. He attacks Jamie from behind and leaves him laying. Michelle tries to stop him, so Palumbo elbows her in the face. So Chuck Palumbo is Randy Savage, and Jamie Noble is… Hulk Hogan? Really? I guess that means Morrison is the Big Bossman, Miz is Akeem, and Layla is Slick. The funny/sad thing is that you can see Miz and Morrison hanging back on the other side of the ring just watching and going, “Oh, so that’s what it’s like to be involved in an angle.” Sports Entertainment finish. [N/R]

  • In the back, Jamie is worried about Michelle, who is being wheeled out on a gurney. He vows revenge on Chuck. I’m not sure why, but this is the Smackdown angle that most interests me.
  • MVP, in a spiffy suit, reiterates his point from last week. He’s better than Flair. He goes all Jericho on us and provides us with Photoshop Flair pics. Ric Flair comes out and says he’s not yet ready to go gentle into that good night.
  • Belfast Brawl: Fit Finlay (w/Hornswoggle) vs. The Great Khali (w/Ranjan Singh).
    Finlay warns Khali not to even look at Hornswoggle. Total domination by Khali to start. He scowls at a worried Hornswoggle. He even Tree Slams Finlay and takes him to the floor. Hornswoggle tries to sneak over and check on Finlay as Khali tears up the announce table. Khali turns and sees him. Uh oh. Khali grabs him by the throat, and that sets Finlay off. BOY, DOES THAT SET FINLAY OFF! Finlay goes absolutely nuts on Khali with the shillelagh. DON’T (WHACK) YOU (WHACK) EVER (WHACK) TOUCH (WHACK) MY (WHACK) FUCKING (WHACK) LEPRECHAUN! (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK) (WHACK)! Finlay checks on Hornswoggle, and they leave for another Sports Entertainment finish. Do *not* mess with Finlay or his midget. [N/R]

  • In the back, Vince McMahon takes Hornswoggle aside and tells him that the Rumble is every man for himself, so he can’t trust Finlay.
  • Batista comes out to with Rey Mysterio luck but confirms that he will, in fact, win the Rumble and go on to WrestleMania. Okay then. Thanks for stoppin’ by.
  • The Undertaker vs. Big Daddy V (w/Matt Striker).
    You know, Undertaker already beat Big Daddy V and Mark Henry in a handicap match. Why should he sweat Vee in a singles match? See, that’s why you have them *beat* the Undertaker, and he can spend the next two weeks angrily destroying them in singles matches where things are fair. BDV avalanches him in the corner but takes a flying DDT. Taker goes for the Old School Ropewalk Forearm but gets knocked down. Coach notes that Taker might have torn through a guy like BDV 10 years ago. Yeah… a guy “like” him. Only in purple. Taker fights his way back and chokeslams (actually just shoves him over) BDV for two. Taker hits the Old School Ropewalk Forearm but runs into the sideslam. Taker tries to apply the Triangle Choke when Vee covers, but giant oval beats triangle I guess. BDV knocks him down, but Taker applies a modified version of the hold for the quickest tapout you’ll ever see at 6:11. Mark Henry comes down and tells Taker he’s gone too far because BDV is coughing up blood now. Taker, not surprisingly, doesn’t seem to care. *

  • Recap of Rumbles past by the numbers. They retcon the elimination times so that Warlord actually has the futility record. Well, it’s not exactly recognizing the Negro League numbers in baseball, but it’ll do.
  • Edge (w/the Rated Rmy) vs. CM Punk (w/Rey Mysterio).
    Sure, Mysterio shows up now. Where was he when he could have prevented the interference that cost Punk the title? Punk goes wild on Edge with kicks. He slides through Edge’s legs but gets booted in the face. Punk misses a charge and spills to the floor as we go to break. We come back to Punk slugging his way back but getting yanked down. Edge comes off the second rope right into a spinning wheel kick. Punk gets two off a Victory Roll but springboards into a powerslam for two. Punk gets tossed to the apron and tries his springboard clothesline again, but he slips off the top rope. Edge improvises and gets two. Punk blocks the spear with a kick to the face and gets two off a schoolboy. Edge goes up, but Punk catches him in the Fireman’s Carry. Edge slips out and spears Punk for the win at 10:07. Edge vs. Mysterio has paled in comparison to Hardy/Orton in terms of build. I wish they had played up the fact that these two used to be a tag team, a fact that has barely been mentioned. Punk’s title loss frees him up to enter the Rumble, which was going to be a problem because he was already a champion. **

    The 411: Really not feelin’ the Smackdown side of things this year. When Noble/Palumbo is your most interesting feud, it’s time to re-evaluate things. Batista and Undertaker have either squashed the people they’re feuding with or aren’t feuding with anyone at all. Finlay is great, as always, but his feud is more with McMahon than Khali, and a lot of it takes place on Raw and not Smackdown. Hopefully, the Rumble results shake things up a bit.

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