411’s ECW on Sci-Fi Report 12.30.08

411 Wrestling is hiring an Alternate ECW Recapper! Unlike my recaps, this is not meant to be a strict play by play. Past examples of what we are looking for can be seen if you look at The Palace of Wisdom that Wilcox did for a few weeks. You can always check The Dope on Smackdown or any other recap that isn’t done live for other examples of what has been done in the past. Please send all samples to [email protected]. It may seem like a small piece of 411mania, but all staff members get to participate in Roundtables all over the 411mania site, vote in the Wrestler of the Week, and get invited to join in on some of the most read articles on 411mania. Plus it is a ton of fun!

Now to the ECW Recap…

And we open with The Dirt Sheet… and their Slammy Awards. John Morrison and The Miz are in the ring and Oprah hired them to help her lose the 50 pounds she just gained back over the holiday. They want to end 2008 with a huge bang and they promise to make history. They bring the fans joy, hope, and The Dirt Sheet! 2008 was a great year for them and they call themselves the greatest team of the 21st century and The Dirt Sheet is the best talk show of 2008. They say they have goals and they have New Year’s Resolutions. Miz says he will give a hat to a museum and say “Bob-a-booie” a ton. Morrison wants to get abs 11 and 12 to pop out. Both of them then vow to win the Royal Rumble and yell at each other. They say that everyone else has goals also. Evan Bourne will move out of his mom’s basement. John Cena will taking acting lessons so his next movie doesn’t suck. Batista will wear a helmet to the ring so he doesn’t get another concussion. Finlay will stop wearing tightie whities so that his next kid isn’t a midget. This brings out Finlay and his son. Miz and Morrison tries talking to him like a dog. Morrison gives Finlay the microphone so Hornswoggle can scream at him. Finlay cheap shots Morrison, but Miz attacks Finlay and it is a two on one. Hornswoggle goes under the ring and The Miz tries to follow. Morrison comes out to help… and out comes The Boogeyman! Miz and Morrison bail for their lives as the Boogeyman dances like an idiot.

Non Title Match – Mark Henry w/ Tony Atlas vs. Matt Hardy

The bell rings and Matt Hardy gets a headlock, but Henry shoves him off. They lock up again and Matt gets an arm wrench, but once again, he is shoved off. Matt with a go behind, but Mark Henry powers out and dumps the champion. Matt Hardy wants a test of strength, but then starts firing with right hands. Matt off the ropes, but he walks into a huge boot. Mark stomps away before pressing Matt on the ropes. Matt comes back with right hands, but again Matt gets dropped. Mark hits a huge headbutt and starts kicking away again. Huge right hand by Henry connects, but Matt catches Mark coming in with a boot. Matt hits a sledge off the second turnbuckle, but mark quickly recovers with a right hand. Mark with a neck wrench. Henry goes for a guerilla press, but Matt slips out just to get shoved into the corner. Mark charges and Matt gets both feet up. Tony distracts Hardy and Mark take advantage with a huge splash in the corner. Mark goes to the second rope with Matt underneath him and hits a Bonzai splash for a two count, as Matt gets his foot on the ropes. We head to commercial at 4:08 with Mark yelling at the ref.

We are back at 6:40 as Mark Henry stalks Matt Hardy and hits a clubbing blow to the ribs. Mark locks in a bearhug and brings Matt Hardy down to a knee. Mark brings Matt into the corner and then stands on Hardy. Mark chokes Matt on the second rope and poses before charging for a leg drop, but Hardy moves. Henry is able to stop though and kicks Hardy in the chest. Henry slings Hardy into the ropes and gets two count. Henry whips Hardy, but Matt gets a sunset flip. Henry tries to sit down, but Matt moves. Matt gets to the second rope and hits an elbow. Matt follows with a Side Effect and gets a two count. Matt knocks Tony Atlas off the ropes and tries for a Twist of Fate, but Henry shoves him off into Jack Swagger who catches Matt and hits a gutwrench powerbomb for the DQ at 10:05. Mark and Swagger stare down as Henry looks pissed. Mark then levels Matt with a World’s Strongest Slam just because he can.

Winner: Matt Hardy by DQ

Match Rating: ** It was a decent match, but I just didn’t feel it for some reason. Swagger coming in to nail Hardy makes Henry look much worse off, but Hardy was done no favors either.

Back from the break and we get a weird promo video for Kizarny and I don’t understand half of it. But he will be on Smackdown this Friday.

Paul Burchill w/ Katie Lea vs. DJ Gabriel w/ Alicia Fox

This looks like a real contrast in styles. The bell rings and they lockup. DJ hits a series of arm drag takedowns. Burchill backs him to the ropes, but Gabriel goes to the eyes. Gabriel reverses an Irish Whip and hits a nice dropkick. Burchill grounds Gabriel and starts stomping away. Gabriel thrown into the turnbuckle and Burchill punches away. Gabriel shoved to the ground and Burchill hits a series of knee drops. Gabriel whipped to the corner and Burchill twice runs into an elbow, but hits a clothesline on the third try for a two count. Burchill drops the knees again and gets another two count. Gabriel fights back with a few kicks, but Burchill gets a suplex for a two count. Burchill goes to a grounded headlock, but Gabriel gets up and elbows out. Gabriel with some right hands and a nice back elbow. Gabriel tries for the big swing, but calls an audible and slingshots Burchill to the corner. Burchill shoves off Gabriel and hits a forearm to the back of the head. Burchill lifts Gabriel up over the shoulder, but Gabriel reverses and hits the over the shoulder gordbuster. Gabriel slowly goes up to the second rope, but Burchill throws him off. Burchill grabs Gabriel and lifts him up, but Gabriel reverses into a jackknife pin for the three count at 5:28.

Winner: DJ Gabriel

Match Rating: * The crowd was totally dead for the match and for good reason. Gabriel looked like a fluke winning this match. ½ of the star is for Striker talking about the knee braces of Burchill. Katie Lea and Alicia… if Striker made no mention of them, I would have thought they went backstage.

Backstage, Boogeyman is singing a good night song to the worm he is about to eat. Hornswoggle runs around and the Boogeyman just laughs as Matt Striker is grossed out.

The Raw Rebound is all about the JBL / Shawn Michaels saga. We head to another commercial.

Non Title, No Disqualification Match: Finlay and The Boogeyman vs. John Morrison and The Miz

The lighting with Boogeyman’s entrance this week was sick. I swear it was a sea of red and his face. Now let’s see how much the No DQ rules comes into play here. Finlay starts with Miz as the bell rings. Finlay gets a headlock, gets shoved off by Miz, and hits a shoulder block. Hornswoggle comes in and Finlay shoves Miz over him. Morrison gets dumped also and the father and son combo hit mirror senton splashes. Miz and Morrison go to the outside and Boogeyman hits a double clothesline. Boogeyman tries to bring Miz under the ring and Hornswoggle hits a low-pe on the Tag Champs. Finlay brings Miz into the ring and catches Miz charging him for a shoulder. Morrison chops Finlay and Miz hits a boot to the head. Back in the ring, Miz gets a headlock on Finlay, but Finlay rolls out. Miz gets the advantage with a series of stomps. Morrison tagged in and the champs hit a double gutbuster. Morrison punches away and chokes Finlay with his boot. Morrison with a snapmare chinlock and he tags The Miz. Finlay whipped to the corner and Miz hits the splash clothesline. Finlay gets drilled with right hands and a ton of stomps. Morrison tagged in and they hit the combination elbow into the knees. Boogeyman breaks the pinfall and Finlay is able to turn the tables. Finlay with an inverted atomic drop and a series of clotheslines to Morrison. Miz rushes Finlay and gets an inverted atomic drop, but Morrison rolls up Finlay for the three count at 5:58. After the bell, Boogeyman attacks Morrison and Finlay hits the Celtic Cross.

Winners: John Morrison and The Miz