wrestling / Video Reviews
Dunn’s Countdown to Summerslam: Summerslam ’99
August 20, 2006 | Posted by
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Loading...Summerslam ’99 — “An Out of Body Experience”
See, now Jarrett was a nice, solid midcard heel performer. Why couldn’t he just be satisfied with that? Jarrett sends Debra to the back early, drawing HUGE heel heat. D’Lo (like an idiot) agrees to let her walk back out with him instead. The WWF really missed the boat on D’Lo. I think he would have been huge. This was the height of his popularity as Steve Austin apparently refused to work with Jarrett, forcing them to bump Jarrett back down the card and squashing D’Lo underneath him. By the time Jarrett was out of the WWF, Jericho was already established as the midcard babyface. It didn’t help that he seemed to fall for every double-cross ever thrown at him. Oh, and there was the Droz thing, but I don’t think anyone could reasonably hold that against him. D’Lo controls early but gets caught with an elbow while coming off the second-rope. Jarrett gets a Tornado Armbar DDT, but D’Lo comes back with a Running Powerbomb. Jarrett avoids the Lowdown and grabs the guitar. Mark Henry runs in and grabs it away from him but then TURNS on D’Lo and hits him with the guitar. Oh, it was all a clever ruse by Jarrett, Debra and Mark Henry. Jarrett picks up the win and both titles at 7:28. If you’re wondering, Henry turned on D’Lo because D’Lo tried to help him lose weight and pushed him too hard. **1/4
Edge & Christian vs. The New Brood (w/Gangrel).
E&C are no longer Goths but not quite the lovable assholes they would become. They dumped Gangrel, and the Hardy Boyz slipped right into that spot. As far as I remember, this is the very first meeting between the two teams. E&C dominate until Gangrel hits Christian with a cheapshot from the outside. Jeff busts out the slingshot moonsault and Swanton bomb. Edge and Jeff work in that run the rail into a spear spot, and Matt moonsaults off the top onto everyone! Edge drops Jeff facefirst, and Christian drops an elbow for the win at 5:02. **3/4
Edge & Christian vs. Mideon & Viscera.
Mideon & Viscera got stuck together when the Corporate Ministry fell apart. Vis tries to squash Edge, but Edge pulls Mideon in the way. Edge spears Mideon for the win at 2:36. 1/2*
Edge & Christian vs. Droz & Prince Albert.
Albert has apparently improved greatly since heading to Japan. Droz was a blue chipper before getting paralyzed shortly after this. Edge avoids a Droz charge and hits Albert with the Downward Spiral at 1:59. 1/2*
Edge & Christian vs. The Acolytes.
The Acolytes are another part of the defunct Ministry. They attack before Droz and Albert even get out of the way. This feels much more like an actual match instead of a squash to get guys on the card. Edge gets caught in the Acolytes corner. Farooq gives him a spinebuster and gets two off an arrogant cover. Edge gets the hot tag to Christian, and they knock Farooq to the outside. Christian gets two off a Tornado DDT as the crowd falls in love with E&C. The Hollys run down early as Bradshaw hits Christian with the Clothesline from Hell for the win at 5:01. **
The Acolytes vs. The Hollys.
The Hollys can’t stop arguing, so even though they come out strong, they get into a fight with one another, allowing Farooq to hit a spinebuster for the win at 2:54. Farooq and Bradshaw get a shot at the tag champs the next night on Raw. 3/4*
Road Dogg hangs around for roving commentary. Snow stakes out the opening and jumps off the cherry-picker onto Bossman as he’s coming out. They brawl to the back where Bossman hits Snow with the dog cage, apparently with Pepper still in there. ANIMAL ABUSE IS HARDCORE! He steals a crippled man’s crutch and hits Snow with it. This is like cheap heat 101. They brawl all the way to the other side of the street and a restaurant called “Blues Alley.” That’s “Blue’s Alley” for all your family and office fun parties. Call for advanced reservations. That’s “Blue’s Alley” right across from the Target Center. Future Smackdown General Manager Teddy Long is your official. They brawl to the men’s room, and Snow rubs the urinal cake into Bossman’s face. The match quite literally becomes a glorified stuntman act as Snow smashes a glass of beer over Bossman’s head and puts himself through a table. Bossman goes after Road Dogg, so Dogg hits him in the back with the night stick. Snow gets the pin on a pool table at 7:25. Snow returns to the arena and beats up Stevie Richards and Blue Meanie for messing with Pepper. Chaotic, demented and a lot of fun. **3/4
Ivory painted the words “slut” and “skank” on Tori to set this up. Yeah, I’m as thrilled as you are. Tori gets a powerslam early as Lawler lets us know that Pepper was not in the cage and is all right. The APA fears the ASPCA! Thank God Trish brought workrate to the Women’s Division in 2001 because this is basically every woman’s match from 1950 on. Well, that’s not fair really. Tori does get a nice over-the-shoulder throw. Tori gets two off a sunset flip and goes for another one, but Ivory squashes her for the win at 4:10. Luna makes the save as Ivory rips Tori’s top off. 1/4*
Blackman was sold as Shamrocks protégé that turned on him for Russo reasons. Blackman sneaks in numchucks, which my spell checker informs me is not a word so I’ll settle for Oriental Fighting Sticks. Shamrock takes him down and uses the Oriental Fighting Sticks for his own advantage. Blackman SWEEPS THE LEG and chokes Shamrock out with the Oriental Fighting Sticks, but Shamrock counters to the jujigatame. Basically, the rest of the match goes martial arts – beat your opponent with a weapon – counter – switch – repeat. Eventually, Shamrock grabs a Kendo stick and goes nuts on Blackman for the KO at 8:56. This was different and pretty cool. This worked out a lot better than the 1998 version with Owen Hart and Shamrock trying to wrestle. ***1/2
If Test loses, he has to break up with Stephanie McMahon. If he wins, Stephanie breaks up with him anyway, bears Triple H’s hellspawn, and books the WWE into the ground for several years. Come on, Shane! The Mean Street Posse comes out to take a seat at ringside. Does Pete Gas remind anyone else of Colt Cabana? Shane “heat machine” McMahon spears Test early and bumps around like a maniac. Test press slams Shane into the Posse, drawing a laugh from Stephanie, who is watching backstage. She wasn’t as hot back then but was much cuter, kind of like the friend that you have your wingman talk to so you can talk to her hotter friend. The Posse helps Shane come back and passes him several foreign objects, including a picture of the Posse. Shane SMASHES it over Test’s head and takes things back in. Shane tries a corkscrew splash, but it misses! Test gets a powerbomb, but the ref is distracted by Rodney. Test accidentally takes out the ref. The Posse attacks on the outside, and Shawn scares the crap out of everyone with an elbowdrop off the top that puts Test through the Spanish announce table! The Posse throws them both back in, and Shane gets two. Pete accidentally hits Shane with a road sign, giving Test a two. The crowd is starting to come unglued with every nearfall. The Posse tries to come back again, but Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco run down and take them out. Test boots a chair into Joey Abs face, leaving it one-on-one. Shane misses a charge and takes the Meltdown. Test finishes with an elbow drop three-quarters of the way across the ring! (12:13) Test and Stephanie celebrate, which looks so weird because Stephanie looks so happy and innocent. Anyway, this was a great match. A perfect mix of heavy booking with crazy amounts of effort and a satisfying storyline. A worthy MOTYC in a bad year for them. ****
This came about from the convoluted-but-fun 1999 mishmash of storylines. Pac was feuding with Billy Gunn, who turned his back on DX and stole one-half of the Acolytes’ title belts. That led to a feud between the Acolytes and X-Pac. Meanwhile, Kane and Show faced off at King of the Ring, apparently leading Show to join up with Taker for indiscernible Russo reasons. X-Pac cost Taker the WWF Title at Fully Loaded, and all things just sort of came together for this match. X-Pac does his best to stick and move with Kane saving him at every opportunity. The real fun comes when Big Show and X-Pac are in the ring together because Show can just launch the Pac all around the ring. Taker and Kane clothesline each other for a double KO. The faces clean house, and X-Pac gets the Broncobuster on Show. That just pisses him off, and Show chokeslams him. He tries to pin him with a boot to the chest, but X-Pac is able to kick out. Taker gets pissed and finishes Pac with a Tombstone at 11:59. Not bad, thanks to X-Pac’s bumping ability and Taker’s intensity. **1/2
Billy’s surprise is a big, fat woman whose ass the Rock has to kiss if he loses. King works in his “buns of cinnamon” joke. Sadly, he used that one at Summerslam ’95, which I know because I just reviewed it. This was the end of Billy’s third stalled WWF push (out of five by my count). Rock takes it to the aisle early, but Billy hits him with a clothesline. They brawl all the way back to the announce position where Rock puts King’s crown on Mr. Ass and knocks it off. King speculates on whether the fat woman is wearing underwear. Lovely. Rock hits the People’s DDT for two. Mr. Ass counters the Rock Bottom to a Fameasser, but he stops to tell the woman to hike up her skirt. Of course, Rock recovers and shoves Billy’s face into the lady’s ass. The Rock Bottom and People’s Elbow finish at 10:11. Billy would be sent back down the card for another year. **
This was scheduled to be Austin vs. Chyna vs. until the last week when Mankind and Triple H wormed their way in, and Linda McMahon made it a Triple Threat. Governor Jesse Ventura is, of course, your referee. He immediately tells all of his critics (mostly Minnesota Democrats with no sense of fun) to kiss his ass. My summation, not his own words. Numerous rumors abounded at the time about this match. They had been building to Austin vs. Triple H, but word round the campfire was that Austin refused to put over Triple H. Austin was developing a reputation for not putting people over cleanly, but that was mostly from WCW/Hogan fans trying to say, “See! He does it too!” So, rumor says Mick was rushed back before he was ready to act as transition champ, and damned if there isn’t a lot of evidence to back that up. Ventura catches Chyna crotching Mick on the ringpost and bannishes her to the back. Jesse starts barking at people for cheating. Austin hits Mankind with a Stunner and gets two before Triple H hits him with a chairshot. Another chairshot puts Mankind down, but Jesse refuses to count because Hunter was cheating. Shane McMahon runs down and barks at Ventura to count, so Austin gives Shane a Stunner, and Jesse tosses him over the top. Mankind gets a double Mandible Claw on Austin and Triple H. Austin throws them together and hits the Stunner on Helmsley. Mankind breaks it up but gets thrown to the post. Hunter hits Austin with the Pedigree, but Mankind knocks him aside with an elbow and DDTs Austin for the win and the title at 16:32. Hunter goes nuts on Austin’s knee with a steel chair after the match. He would go on to defeat Mankind for the title the following night on Raw. ***1/4
The 411:Â At the height of their popularity, the WWF managed to put on a blowaway show. There was good wrestling in all the right places and all the right people went over where the storylines were concerned. Certainly one of Russo's better achievements. Thumbs up. |
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| Final Score:  8.0   [ Very Good ]  legend |
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