BG Says: FIP Cage of Pain

December 15, 2006 – Crystal River, Florida

When we last left FIP
Davey Richards abandoned his allies, but not his morals, to get a piece of new champion Roderick Strong in a big elimination match main event. Strong and new tag champs the Briscoe Brothers were the sole survivors in that match. The rest of the show was filler and build to the big Cage of Pain match tonight. Also, Roderick Strong implemented new rules in FIP Championship matches, allowing the title to change hands on count outs and disqualifications, effectively nullifying the champion’s advantage.

Jonathan Gold handles announcing from the ring. From the booth the show is hosted by Dave Prazak and the returning Lenny Leonard. In Prazak’s absence Leonard is joined by the debuting Jake Sero. That spelling of his last name could be completely wrong, but he’s not very good anyway.

The Heartbreak Express and Lacey come out to start the show. They’re ready to chase the Black Market out of FIP, and are still mourning the loss of So Cal Val. They still intend to figure out what the Black Market has done with her. In honor of their impending victory they’ve decided to introduce their close personal friend Larry Sweeney to FIP. Sweeney fits right in with Phil and Sean. The sound system isn’t great so I can’t make out everything Sweeney says, but he talks about his ICW/ICWA Texarkana TV Championship and challenges anyone in the locker room to a match. Jerrelle Clark answers.

VS.
They lock up and Clark powers Sweeney to the corner. Clark hits a head scissors takedown and a dropkick. He puts on a wristlock but Lacey distracts him. Sweeney takes control with a butterfly suplex for 2. He puts on an armbar but Clark counters to a hurricanrana. Sweeney dodges the Clark Bar and hits a clothesline. He hits a bodyslam and Garvin Stomps all over Clark for 2. He dumps Clark to the floor where Lacey gets in a cheap shot. Clark counters a baseball slide to a legdrop on the apron. Back in the ring Sweeney misses a legdrop and Clark hits a kick to the chest. Clark hits a handspring splash for 2. He sets Sweeney up top but Sweeney catches him with a facebuster off the second rope. Sweeney hits a forearm to the back and hits the 12 Large Elbow Drop for the win at 8:00. Very fun and cartoony opener. Sweeney fits very well in FIP.
Rating: **

After the match Allison Danger comes out and challenges Lacey to a match immediately. She bitches about Lacey getting involved in matches, but really she didn’t factor into the finish of this at all.

VS.
Danger rushes the ring and attacks Lacey before the bell. She tosses Lacey across the ring by her hair. Sweeney pulls Lacey to the floor to regroup. Lacey pulls Danger over the top rope and then stands on her hair in the ring for 2. She pokes Danger’s eyes and then rakes them against the top rope. She slams Danger to the mat by her hair and Danger bails. Sweeney slaps Danger across the face and Lacey drags her back into the ring. Another hair toss gets 2 for Lacey. They slam each other to the mat by the other’s hair and struggle to their feet. Danger hits a pair of forearms and a neckbreaker for 2. She hits a running knee but Sweeney distracts the referee. Sean Davis runs out and hits an avalanche on Danger pretty much in front of the referee, giving Lacey the win at 5:41. The action was fine and for once it probably would have been appropriate to give the ladies more time.
Rating: *

DP Associates comes to ringside. Former champion Bryan Danielson is angry and ready to earn his title shot tonight. Shingo and Delirious don’t have anything to do yet, so Prazak challenges any two wrestlers to a tag match. The CHIKARA team of Gran Akuma and Hallowicked answer the call.

VS.
Hallowicked and Shingo start. Shingo overpowers Hallowicked and they knuckle up. Shingo puts on a wristlock but Hallowicked comes back with a shoulder tackle. Delirious and Akuma tag in. They lock up and Akuma grabs a wristlock. Delirious tries to pull his hair but there is nothing there to work with. Akuma opens up with kicks and tags to Hallowicked. Delirious bites Hallowicked’s arm and tags to Shingo. Shingo stays on the arm with a legdrop for 2. Delirious tags in and puts on a hammerlock before ramming Hallowicked into the turnbuckle. Akuma tags in and hits a springboard dropkick. Shingo tags in and hits a slam into a punt to the ribs. He hits a splash for 2. He puts on a chinlock and rubs Akuma’s head. He chokes Akuma with the Japanese flag and Delirious hits a back suplex for 2. Delirious puts on a chinlock and kicks the back. Shingo tags in and they hit a double back elbow. They hit a modified Superdrol and pose for the camera. Shingo hits a back elbow for 2 with a cocky cover. He plays with Akuma’s bald head and tags to Delirious. Akuma gets a roll up for 2. He hits a chinbreaker and the Complete Shot. Shingo and Hallowicked tag in and Hallowicked cleans house. Hallowicked hits a hurricanrana on Shingo and a spinebuster on Delirious for 2. Team CHIKARA hits Total Elimination on Delirious for 2. Shingo hits Hallowicked with a clothesline in the corner and Delirious hits the Panic Attack. Shingo hits a TKO for 2. Akuma tags in and hits a crossbody off the top for 2. Delirious tags in and hits Shadows Over Hell after Shingo hits a powerbomb. It gets 2 when Hallowicked saves. Hallowicked hits an enziguiri on Shingo and follows him to the floor with a suicide dive. In the ring Akuma kicks away at Delirious and hits a fisherman slam for 2. Austin Aries runs out and tosses Delirious a chain. He doesn’t get a chance to use it as Akuma rams Delirious into Aries and rolls him up for the win at 15:35. Nice formula tag match with a sub-par finish.
Rating: ***

Davey Richards comes to ringside and says he deserves a title shot more than Bryan Danielson. Well that’s just not true. Richards calls FIP Heavyweight Champion Roderick Strong out to settle the issue. Steve Madison comes out instead and says that since he and Strong have been on the same circuit for so long he deserves the title shot. Danielson comes back out and reasserts his claim at the title. A three way for the title shot seems imminent but Strong comes out and grants Madison a title shot tonight on the grounds that he was most annoyed by his comments, pulling him from the match. Erick Stevens comes from out of nowhere and chases Madison to the back. Danielson and Richards are left to fight it out for an upcoming shot.

VS. [#1 Contender Match]
They lock up and Danielson hits an armdrag. He hits a hiptoss and dances around the ring. Richards comes back with an armdrag and a hiptoss of his own. He dropkicks Danielson to the floor where Danielson feigns a knee injury. Back in the ring Richards forearms Danielson across the ring. They knuckle up and Richards powers Danielson down. He hits a back bodydrop and Danielson bails. Richards follows him out and rams his head against the apron. Back in the ring Richards hits a bodyslam and an elbowdrop for 2. He puts on a headlock but Danielson catches him with a back elbow. Danielson dumps Richards to the floor and “re-aggravates” his knee to distract the referee from Milo Beasley’s wheelchair-bound teddy bear attack off the apron. Back in the ring Danielson hits a snapmare for 2. He hits a double axe handle for 2. He puts on a chinlock and blocks a sunset flip. Richards counters a double axe handle to a Manhattan drop. He hits an overhead suplex and then rams Danielson’s head off of each turnbuckle. He hits a forearm and a hurricanrana. He climbs the ropes and hits a crossbody for 2. Prazak trips Richards and Danielson rolls him up for 2. He hits the neck wrench suplex and climbs the ropes. Richards dodges the diving headbutt and hits the handspring kick. Prazak distracts Richards with a chair. Danielson tries to forearm Richards but ends up forearming the chair. Richards hits Danielson with a DDT and puts on 14:59 for the win at 14:28. Fun albeit short match with a cute finish.
Rating: ***¼

Madison comes out with DP Associates and commissions Austin Aries to take on Erick Stevens for him tonight. He will take on Stevens himself next month, but for now he’s going to leave it to Aries.

VS.
They lock up and Stevens shoves Aries across the ring. Aries grabs a headlock and uses Stevens’s hair to keep it on. Stevens slams Aries to escape and Aries bails. Back in the ring they knuckle up as Prazak talks about the staff of DP. Read what you like into that. They criss cross and Stevens hits a short arm clothesline. Aries bails and drags Stevens to the floor. That ends up going Stevens’s way as he chops Aries around ringside. Back in the ring Aries drops Stevens into the turnbuckle but Stevens comes back with an atomic drop. Aries dodges the avalanche and rakes the back. He hits a running back rake for 2. He kicks Stevens to the floor and feigns a knee injury so Milo Beasley can hit a swanton off of the apron. Back in the ring Aries hits a slingshot senton and an elbowdrop for 2. Aries hits the snap side slam for 2. Haven’t seen that in a while. He climbs the ropes but feels uncomfortable up top. The second rope is too shaky too so he goes for an elbowdrop off the first and misses. Stevens hits a back elbow and a back bodydrop. He hits the avalanche and a TKO for 2. Aries gets a roll up with his feet on the ropes but the referee catches him. Stevens hits a facebuster but gets distracted by Madison at ringside. Aries knocks Stevens into the referee. Stevens hits an atomic drop and a lariat but the referee is out. Stevens tries to revive the referee but Madison runs in and slugs him down with a chain. Aries casually hits an elbowdrop in front of the referee and gets the win at 14:26. The finish was cheap but I liked the fact that Aries gave the referee a reason to believe that Stevens might be down. Too often the referee misses what knocks out the losing wrestler and doesn’t question it at all. The match was going along just fine before the gaga to put heat on Madison.
Rating: **¾

Madison tries to continue beating Stevens but Stevens fights back. The remaining members of the YRR run out and attack Stevens. Colt Cabana, Jerrelle Clark and Seth Delay make the save and challenge Chasyn Rance, Kenny King and Sal Rinauro to a match.

VS.

Our heroes are attacked from behind to start, but come back with dropkicks to everyone. Sal gets left alone in the ring and our heroes take turns slugging him around. They hit him with a triple backdrop and Delay puts on a wristlock. Cabana tags in and stays on the arm. Clark tags in and hits a double chop with Cabana. Delay and Rance tag in. Delay gets on Rance’s arm with a cross armbreaker. Clark tags in and hits a springboard armdrag. Cabana tags in and swings Rance around the ring by his arm. King tags in and walks into a hiptoss. Cabana hits a pair of armdrags and splashes the arm for 2. Delay tags in and stays on the arm. He hits a pair of monkey flips for 2. Sal clotheslines Delay off the apron where he and Rance slug him around. Back in the ring King gets 2. King hits a clothesline and tags to Sal. Sal hits a dropkick to the face and a vertical suplex for 2. Rance tags in and puts on a butterfly hold. Cabana tags in but the referee missed it. Rance hits a butterfly suplex and switches with Sal. Sal stomps Delay’s face for 2. Rance hits a cheap shot and Sal hits a dropkick. Sal puts Delay’s head over the bottom rope and Rance hits a legdrop from the apron. Sal snaps the top rope into Delay’s eyes and suplexes him off the second rope for 2. Rance comes in illegally and stomps Delay for 2. King comes in and hits a double flying knee. He dodges a dropkick and goes for a giant swing. Delay counters with a body scissors takedown and tags to Cabana. Cabana cleans house, hitting elbows on everyone. He puts all his opponents in the corner but misses the Flying Asshole. Clark tags in and hits a leg lariat on King. He rams Sal into Rance and hits a tornado DDT on King. He hits a drop toehold on Sal, slams Rance onto Sal and King and then hits a handspring moonsault onto all of them. Delay tags in and hits the Rocket Launcher onto all of his opponents. Our heroes hit the mounted punches on the YRR and whip them together in the center of the ring. Madison runs in and hits a tombstone piledriver on Delay before dragging Sal onto him for the win at 14:00. Really fun match, one of the best six-man tags I’ve seen in FIP, but the cheap finish hurts it a bit.
Rating: ***½

Roderick Strong comes from out of nowhere and wipes Rance out with the title belt. He tells Madison that if he wants his shot he’s going to have to take it now.

VS.
They lock up and Madison retreats to the ropes. They trade hiptosses and Madison bails. Back in the ring Strong hits a dropkick and Madison bails again. Back in the ring Madison hits a bodyslam but Strong comes back with a wristlock. Strong hits a wristlock and a kneedrop to the arm. He chops Madison down and dumps him to the floor. He chases Madison around ringside but gets caught back in the ring. Well that made Strong look stupid. He redeems himself by hitting a back bodydrop and a boot to the face. Madison attacks Strong’s neck and puts on a chinlock. Strong fights out and slugs Madison to the mat. Strong hits a backbreaker for 2. He hits a legdrop on the apron and hits a pair of forearms to the neck. He sets Madison up top but Madison fights him off and hits a flying elbow. Madison puts on a chinlock and then hits a neckbreaker. He works over Strong’s neck and hits a shoulder breaker for 2. He goes back to the chinlock but Strong fights back with a leg lariat. Madison bails so Strong follows him out with a crossbody. He swings a chair at Madison which is beyond retarded now that the title can change hands by disqualification. Madison hits a baseball slide and a vertical suplex for 2. Strong hits a chinbreaker and an enziguiri. He hits a clothesline and a back elbow. Be hits a backdrop and a falcon arrow for 2. Madison hits a brainbuster for 2. Strong gets a roll up for 2. Madison hits the tombstone piledriver and climbs the ropes. Strong crotches him and hits a superplex. The YRR try to interfere but Strong fights them off and hits the tiger driver on Madison for the win at13:54. Way too many chinlocks and stall sessions for my liking here, but the finish made Strong look very good.
Rating: **½

Strong hypes the Cage of Pain after the match. Stevens takes the microphone and makes the match that Madison agreed to next month a Dog Collar match. Delay gets on the microphone and challenges Sal Rinauro to a TLC match.

This was originally supposed to be the Black Market’s rematch for the tag titles but the Heartbreak Express lost the belts to the Briscoe Brothers. The cage is wrapped in barbed wire, making it more of a barbed wire cage match than the razor wire topped cage the WWE put out in February of 2006. The Heartbreak Express attacks the Black Market on their way into the ring but can’t smash them into the cage. Murphy and Machete send Phil and Sean into the mesh, busting them open (on camera blade job available here). They continue to ram the Heartbreak Express against the cage and do so for quite a while. Phil’s cut leaves something to be desired. Sean comes back by leveling Black Market with a chair. Machete grabs a light tube but Sean knocks him down with the chair before he can use it. Phil breaks a light tube over Murphy as the camera catches Machete bleeding. Sean presses Machete’s head into some barbed wire and Phil climbs the ropes. Machete hits Sean with a light tube and then hits him with a chair. Murphy and Machete ram Phil back-first into the cage. Lacey tries to climb into the cage but Danger runs out and beats her to the back. Sean hits Machete with the chair as Phil ties Murphy to the ropes with a chain. Machete counters a pulling piledriver to a backdrop on Phil but Sean sends him into the cage. Murphy knocks Phil and Sean down with a trash can and then Machete does the same with the lid. Machete and Phil fight on the top rope until Machete brings him down with a hiptoss. Murphy breaks two light tubes over Murphy and jams a broken piece of one into Sean’s face. He sets up a table and chokes Phil with the chain. Sean sets Machete on the table and tries to climb the ropes. Murphy cuts him off with the trash can as Machete grabs a sack of thumbtacks. He pours the tacks on the table. Sean then helpfully climbs the ropes so that Murphy and Machete can hit him with an assisted powerbomb through the tacky table for the win at 16:20. Meh, I just got done watching the Jacob/Whitmer cage match from ROH and this wasn’t even half as good. This tried to substitute blood and tired, repetitive and lazy weapon spots for innovation and convincing work.
Rating: *¾