RB Report: ROH Manhattan Mayhem II

*The Ultimate Vanilla Connection of Adam Pearce, BJ Whitmer and Brent Albright are backstage shaving Shane Hagadorn’s head. Pearce talks crap about Delirious while Albright and Whitmer smirk in the background.

*Jigsaw and “Lightning” Mike Quackenbush vs. Erick Stevens and “Generic” Matt Cross
Stevens and Cross are representing the Resilience. Their leader – Austin Aries – is in action later tonight against Roderick Strong and Jack Evans. Quackenbush and the powerhouse of the Resilience, Erick Stevens, start. Stevens shoves him to the mat and throws him around, establishing his rather obvious strength advantage. Quack bails to the floor for a break and possibly to come up with a different game-plan after he takes a hefty shoulderblock from Stevens. Stevens challenges him to a test-of-strength and Quack accepts. Quack breaks it and uses his speed to control Stevens and send him to the mat. Double knee drop gets two. He locks in an octopus stretch and Cross tags himself in. Quack tags Jigsaw in. Jigsaw is, in my opinion, the third best product of the CHIKARA Wrestle Factory, behind Hallowicked and Eddie Kingston. I’d love to see the latter in ROH. Jigsaw owns Cross on the mat and hits a pair of armdrags. He rolls into a pinning combination and gets a two-count. Cross uses his gymnastic abilities to counter-act Jigsaw’s lucha. WICKED spinning facebuster by Cross. Stevens in. He chops away at the lanky Jigsaw and a back elbow sends Jigsaw hard to the mat. Jigsaw almost manages to escape to Quack when Stevens tags Cross back in, but Stevens manages to stop him. Jigsaw gets double-teamed. Jigsaw rolls Cross up from nowhere, gets two, and eats a clothesline. He gets dragged back into the Resilience corner and Stevens is tagged in. BIG suplex gets two. Cross gets tagged in and dropkicks Jigsaw, while Stevens lands a side slam on him. Cross goes to the top rope and misses a split-legged moonsault when Jigsaw gets his knees up. Quack and Stevens in. Stevens takes a headbutt to the chest and a big elbow to the head. WACKY SPOT out of Quack that he’s done many times in CHIKARA that I won’t bother describing. Stevens gets put on the top rope and Jigsaw JUMPS up into a ‘rana! Quack comes off the top rope with a senton to Stevens, but only manages to get two when Cross breaks up the pin! Jigsaw misses a top rope legdrop. He goes for the Jig ‘N’ Tonic on Cross, but Stevens clotheslines him and Cross turns it into a sunset flip! ONLY GETS TWO! They continue to double-team Jigsaw and Cross gets two from a twisting moonsault! Quack gets tagged in, but is swiftly pounded down. He manages to hit a double DDT on both men and hits the BTS on Cross. He locks in a jujigatame, but Cross makes it to the ropes. Stevens takes Quack out and Jigsaw gets in. ENZIGURI TO STEVENS! He blocks a superkick and slams Jigsaw HARD to the mat. DOCTOR BOMB! ONE-TWO-THREE(12:26)!

Rating: ***1/4. GREAT MATCH! Everything about this was just great, Stevens and Cross’ double-teams, the beat-down of Jigsaw, Jigsaw’s brief two-second comeback that had me jumping out my seat, etc. My only complaint: the lack of Quack. OMG, rhymes. He was only in the ring for like a minute at most.

*Mitch Franklin vs. Jimmy Jacobs
Franklin is the holder of the ROH Top of the Class trophy. This is Jacobs’ second match since returning from injury. Big “welcome back” chant for Jimmy. They do some basic stuff and Franklin looks a bit shaky. Jimmy gets sent to the outside, but gets quickly back in. Powerslam by Jimmy and a dropkick takes Jimmy off of his feet. You know you’re small when Jimmy Jacobs is powerslamming you. Franklin comes off the top rope, but Jimmy catches him with a clothesline. Jimmy dropkicks Franklin’s head against the ring post. That doesn’t put the student away, so Jimmy punishes him by slamming him down into the mat repeatedly from a surfboard position. Franklin almost gets the upset with a crucifix pin. He kinda botches a hurricanrana and rolls Jimmy up for two. Facebuster gets two. Franklin tries to use Jimmy’s own finisher against him – the Contra Code. Jimmy blocks it and puts him in a tree of woe. Running knee and a dropkick in the corner. BIG back senton from the top rope by Jacobs. Franklin gets straight up to his feet and walks into the guillotine choke(5:16).

Rating: 1/2*. Not terribly exciting, but the purpose of the match was just to give Jimmy’s knee a test-run after his injury. Jimmy was solid as usual, but Franklin was trying to do way too much complex stuff and just wasn’t capable of pulling it of

*Jack Evans is backstage. I still can’t stand him. He says he’s the best founding member of Generation Next. He’s found someone to motivate him to go that little bit further. We hear Julius Smokes’ usual annoying crap somewhere in the background. “YEAH, YEAH, YEAH!” No.

*The Ultimate Vanilla Connection (Adam Pearce, BJ Whitmer and Brent Albright (w/Shane Hagadorn)) vs. Delirious, Nigel McGuinness and Pelle Primeau
Hagadorn has head his head shaved in a way that makes him look very, very balding. As always, Adam Pearce gets on the mic. Delirious runs down and attacks him on his own and Pelle and Nigel eventually join in. Big brawl. Order is restored and Delirious takes Pearce out with a trifecta of clotheslines. McGuinness in. He takes him to the outside and Pelle hits a dropkick onto Pearce from the apron. Nigel takes Pearce back in. Pelle gets tagged in and hits a tornado DDT. Delirious gets in and hits a series of elbows to the back of Pearce’s head, only for Pearce to chokeslam him and tag out to Whitmer. He pounds Delirious down and he and Albright take turns beating Delirious down. Delirious tries to fight all three men, but fails. Whitmer channels Randy Orton with a rear chinlock. You wouldn’t believe how bored the commentators sound. Albright methodically picks Delirious apart. Pearce finally decides to get back in when Delirious has been beaten down for around five minutes. Delirious shows some energy and Pearce tags out to Albright. This has to be the most boring heat section of a tag team match ever. Delirious hits a ‘rana from the top rope and tags out to Nigel. He takes all three men out. JOBBERS! Hagadorn gets in the ring and he gets taken out too. McGuinness continues to treat the heels as his own personal jobbers for a while. Ten minutes and an nothing much has happened. Nigel hits a Pelle Primeau double stomp-assisted Towers of London on Whitmer. Albright manages to dump Nigel on his head with a half-nelson suplex. Delirious drop toe holds him into the corner and hits a panic attack. Pearce takes out Delirious, Pelle takes out Pearce, Whitmer takes out Pelle with a tombstone. Covers, finishes(11:43).

Pearce orders Whitmer to beat Pelle down and when he’s completely out, THEN Pearce gets in and hits him with a powerbomb. Nigel clears the ring with a chair.

Rating: *. Amazingly boring at times. Adam Pearce is great in his role though. When the most interesting thing in a match is Shane Hagadorn’s new haircut, you know there’s something wrong.

*Cary Silkin and a NOAH representative come out. It’s announced that KENTA, Naomichi Marafuji, Takeshi Morishima and puro legend MITSUHARU FREAKIN’ MISAWA will all be appearing at Glory By Honor VI weekend.

*Delirious is backstage. He’s probably talking about Adam Pearce.

*PAC vs. Davey Richards
I’ve heard that this match is abysmal. Let’s see if it lives down to the hype! Richards refuses to shake Pac’s hand, instead opting to spit in it. RUDO~! Richards works the arm and they do some reversals. For some reason, this is getting boos already. Richards pounds away with crossfaces and fists to the back of head. Davey takes Pac back down to the canvas and Pac counters to a front facelock. Richards bails and stalls for a while. He gets back in and they do some reversals. Pac does some speedy stuff, only for Davey to take it back to the mat. Cue more booing. Dropkick sends Richards to the outside and Pac fakes him out on a dive. I’m guessing that the crowd’s booing solely because they want tons of flippy-dos, because as soon as Pac hit the fake-out they all stopped booing and started cheering. Davey gets back in and slows the pace down. “BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” – fans. Pac hits his running forearm in the corner and flips around before hitting a dropkick. Standing legdrop gets two on the grounded member of the No Remorse Corps. Davey takes a back drop to the outside and Pac follows with a corkscrew SSP! “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOH” – fans. Back in, Pac again goes for the running forearm, but Davey obviously blocks it. He goes for the DR Driver, but Pac blocks and hits a moonsault double stomp. Ridiculous. Pac flips around the ring pointlessly waaay too much. Davey unloads on chops and headbutts. Running forearm and BIG clothesline nearly decapitate Pac. German suplex gets two. Davey’s busted wide open, I’m guessing from those stiff headbutts. Crowd are still booing and they must be utterly retarded. Davey puts Pac on the top rope. Pac throws him off and they do a contrived spot where Davey gets himself into place so that Pac can hit a moonsault kick to the back of his head. Davey rolls through a pin attempt into a kimura. Pac breaks it by rolling through. Enziguri by Pac misses by about a foot and he drills Davey with a reverse ‘rana. Another ‘rana just plants Davey and he manages to kick out at two. I was really into this about two minutes ago, but they’ve just totally lost me. Pac rolls through a German suplex attempt from the top rope, but succumbs to a piledriver and a kimura(12:39).

Rating: **3/4. Good match. The crowd were unbelievably dumb and almost managed to ruin the match. I was really into this about ten minutes in, but then they completely lost me with the contrived, business-exposing spots Pac loves to do.

*Jack Evans comes out. He says that finding his own crew was hard. He had to find someone who would motivate him, someone who has guided former ROH champions. Julius Smokes comes out.

*Jack Evans (w/ Julius Smokes) vs. Roderick Aries vs. Austin Aries
These three, along with Alex Shelley, were the founding members of Generation Next. Each are now the leader of their own stables. Aries gets tossed and Strong beats up Evans. Aries gets in and both men beat Strong down. Strong gets sent to the outside and Evans and Aries argue. Evans shitty offense gets him nowhere and Aries controls. Evans tries to dive out onto Strong, but gets caught and powerbombed on the floor. ROFLZ! Roderick bridges the ring and the guardrail with a table. He tries to hit the Gibson Driver on Aries through it, but fails. They reverse some stuff and Evans gets in and does his usual acrobatics act. There is no one I hate watching more in ROH than Jack Evans. He hits a corkscrew moonsault on both men and gets two. Roderick hits a back suplex on Aries from the second rope and battles with Jack up top. Evans sends him to the outside with a dropkick and Aries almost decapitates him with a clothesline. Strong takes out Aries and tries to slam Evans through the table. Aries puts a stop to that and battles over a suplex with Strong. Strong eventually nails a gutbuster and locks in the Stronghold. Reverse ‘rana by Evans gets two on Strong. Referee gets bumped. I’m bored. They all try and do their finishers and Aries gets thrown off the top through the table. Davey Richards runs out and puts the boots to Evans. Smokes gets on the mic and RUCKUS runs out! He takes out Richards and Strong with flippy-dos! More flippys! AWESOME debut! Evans hits a springboard 450 out to Richards and Strong. Smokes, Evans and Ruckus stand triumphant in the centre of the ring. Evans and Ruckus beat down Aries, and Cross and Stevens run out. MAYHEM~! FREEZINNGGG MOOOOOON! I LOL at the referee STILL being down. Stevens hits Strong with a chair and Aries finishes him with a brainbuster and a 450 splash(14:41).

Rating: **. Blah match. The stuff with Ruckus was gold. Everything else, average. I hate the “lets-throw-out-everything-we-can-do-in-the-space-of-ten-minutes” mentality with most of the ROH roster. Slow it down, guys.

*Jimmy Jacobs says that he has a new purpose in ROH and pretty soon the fans will find out what it is.

*The Resilience are boring.

*Eddie Edwards vs. RUCKUS, BABY, RUCKUS! (w/Julius Smokes and Jack Evans)
I’m fully expecting this to just be an exhibition for Ruckus. Ruckus refuses to shake hands and gets chopped at. Ruckus busts out the gymnastics and sends Edwards to the outside. He lands on his feet on a dive. SSP off the apron to the floor. Back in. Ruckus continues to control until Edwards shows that he can use his speed, also. He also shows that he has power, by making Ruckus land on his head from a big clothesline. Brainbuster gets two. Edwards seemed scared of Smokes and Evans interfering. Ruckus fights out of a chinlock and hits a Pele kick. Both men are out on the mat. It’s a bit early in the match for that, no? Ruckus rolls through a sunset flip and jumps into a stomp on Edwards’ shoulders. Standing corkscrew moonsault gets two. BACK RAKE~! Ruckus goes for a moonsault legdrop, but Edwards reverses to a roll-up. It gets two. Back drop facebuster also gets two. ROLLING FISHERMAN’S SUPLEX from Ruckus! They fight on the top rope and Edwards gets slammed off. Corkscrew senton by Ruckus gets the victory(6:10)!

Rating: *1/2. Good exhibition for Ruckus, but the match was meh.

*Chris Hero (w/Larry Sweeney, Sara Del Rey and Bobby Dempsey) vs. Claudio Castagnoli
Tank Toland is very sadly missing from Hero’s corner. This match has been brewing since Final Battle 2006, when Hero turned on Claudio and sided with Sweeney. Sweeney claiming that he’s not a wrestler, but a manager makes me a sad panda. Hero attacks as Claudio’s getting into the ring, but quickly gets sent to the mat and bails. Claudio grabs him by the ears and pulls him into the ring. Hero stalls again, so I’ll take the time to point out that his new gear is great. He gets in the ring and showboats. He turns around and eats a European uppercut. Hero walks along the ropes and drops an elbow on Hero. Hero again goes to the outside, but Claudio follows with a axe handle from the apron. Claudio tries to whip him into the guardrail, but Bobby Dempsey blocks it. Claudio gets sent into the crowd. Sweeney distracts Claudio and Del Rey kicks Claudio in the chest. Daizee Haze comes out. Hero hurts his hand by punching Claudio HARD. Hero chokes away and rolls Claudio back in. A pair of back sentons get two. Hero methodically pounds him down. Roaring elbow connects and a boot sends Claudio back to the canvas. Front facelock. Hero continues to work Claudio over on the outside. Back in, Hero straddles Claudio on the second rope and hits HERO’S SIDEKICK! Boots and chops to Claudio, but he’s refusing to back down. A dropkick sends Hero to the floor and Claudio goes soaring through the ropes with a big tope! Back in the ring, Hero takes the giant swing and is DROPPED! European uppercut gets two! Daizee yells at Claudio to stay on him. Claudio goes for the Alpamare Waterslide but Hero wriggles out and hits a swinging neckbreaker. Claudio ducks a kick and hits a springboard European uppercut! ALPAMARE WATERSLIDE! ONE-TWO-THR-NO! Roaring elbow out of Hero and a release German suplex. Release suplex gets two. Hero goes to the top, but is taken down by Claudio. Claudio jumps up to the top rope and takes Hero down with a fantastic headscissors. Pump kick gets two. Both men duke it out in the centre of the ring. They battle over a backslide and Claudio dumps him over his back, but eats a big boot. Neckbreaker to Claudio and Hero goes up top. DOUBLE STOMP! The Hero’s Welcome is blocked and Claudio NAILS a diving uppercut. RIIIIICOOOOLAAAA BOMB! ONE-TWO-THREE(15:59)! Claudio and Daizee celebrate in-ring. Dempsey tries to pick Hero up, but Hero falls on him and kinda bounces into the air. BEST ROH MOMENT EVER. Hero hugs Dempsey, but then slaps him around.

Rating: ***1/2. That was a great match, the only problem with it being that the first ten or so minutes didn’t feel very heated and it felt more like an exhibition match, which is weird for an apparent blood feud.

*Claudio Castagnoli says that tonight he proved he is the better wrestler.

*ROH World Championship
Takeshi Morishima (c) vs. “American Dragon” Bryan Danielson
It’s the match everybody’s been waiting for! Morishima’s music is awesome. To say this has a big-match atmosphere would be an understatement. The fans make sure to remind Morishima that he is, indeed, about to get his fucking head kicked in. Danielson peppers Morishima with kicks and unloads on more in the corner. Dueling chants from the crowd. They continue feeling each other out. Danielson is trying to annoy Morishima, possibly trying to force him into making a rash mistake. Morishima starts clubbing the back of Danielson, but Danielson manages to get away and continues circling Morishima, throwing kicks all the time. Danielson ducks a club and busts out more kicks. Morishima has to rest in the corner. More clubbing blows to the back of Danielson. More kicks to the left leg of Morishima. Forearms and kicks in the corner. Danielson gets the shit beaten outta him in the corner. Morishima connects with a big kick in the corner to the head of Danielson. Danielson has injured his eye, it appears. Butt bump by Morishima. Danielson tries to kick him away, on the mat, but Morishima stomps him into the mat. Morishima takes it to the outside. He sits Danielson on the chair and kicks Danielson in the eye again. Danielson looks like he’s about to start crying. Butt bump on the outside. He goes for another, but Danielson evades and manages to throw Morishima into the crowd. He goes in the ring. PLANCHA! Danielson tries to weaken Morishima with uppercuts and more kicks. He drapes Morishima’s leg over the guardrail and whacks it with a chair! Back in, missile dropkick fails to take Morishima down and Danielson runs right into a clothesline. Danielson counters the back drop driver and gets a near-fall. Danielson shows FIGHTING SPIRIT~!!!!~~!~!1! STRIKE COMBO! DODGES THE BUTT BUMP! Danielson kicks the legs of the grounded Morishima and puts him in a leg lock. Morishima fights to his feet and KILLS Danielson with a German suplex! URANAGE! Morishima tries to go to the top. He misses the missile dropkicks and Danielson puts him in a leg submission. Morishima gets to the ropes. Thesz Press by Morishima is reversed into a half-crab. Morishima breaks the hold and both competitors are out on the mat. Both get up and Danielson eats a big kick. Back drop driver is reversed into a small package! ONE-TWO-NO! Another! Only gets two! More kicks. He goes for a sunset flip, but Morishima just sits on him for two. Danielson ducks the lariat…GERMAN SUPLEX! ELBOWS! HE KICKS MORISHIMA’S FACE IN! ONLY GETS TWO! CATTLE FUCKING MUTILATION! Morishima refuses to give up. Danielson puts Morishima up on the top rope! Will he be able to hit the super back suplex? NO! Morishima counters and lands with all his weight on Danielson! Danielson fires up again! Forearms by Morishima! LARIAT OF DEATH! ONE-TWO-NO! BACK DROP FREAKIN’ DRIVER! ONE-TWO-THREE! Morishima regains his title(20:18)!

Rating: ****1/2. This match had it all – drama, excitement, psychology, non-stop action. My probably current match of the year, just surpassing the Briscoes/MCMG match and the Colony & Hallowicked/BLKOUT match from March in CHIKARA. Seriously, I NEVER thought this match was going to live upto the hype I had read for it, but it was even better than I was hoping. Incredible.

*Larry Sweeney has some words for Claudio Castagnoli.

*ROH World Tag Team Championships
Best Two out of Three Falls
The Briscoe Brothers (Jay and Mark) vs. Kevin Steen and El Generico
This feud is really starting to bore me to tears. Yeah, I said it. Tonight, Kel Steenerico take on the Briscoes in their signature match – 2/3 falls. Will Briscoes be able to take two straight falls, as always? The two teams exchange some words. Steen attacks before the bell. They all brawl on the outside. Everyone takes some unnecessarily crazy bumps. Mark Briscoe gets busted open quick. After taking out Steen, they isolate Generico in the centre of the ring. Order is restored and the Brisoes continue the isolation of Generico. Steen stops them from hitting a double-team on Generico, though. Generico manages to tag out. Steen and Jay trade shots and Steen goes to the eyes. He tells Generico to “PUT THE BOOT UP!” and throws Jay’s head into Generico’s boot. Generico is tagged in and he and Steen double-team Jay. Steen wipes Jay’s blood on his face. Jay hits a neckbreaker and tags out to Mark, who comes in with a springboard dropkick to Steen. Redneck Kung-Fu! Springboard corkscrew press gets two on Steen. Steen hits a spinebuster on one Briscoe onto the other and tags out to Generico. He comes in with a flying cross body to Jay and hits a tornado DDT. Briscoes do the same stuff they do every single match. Jay lands a splash on Generico and gets the first fall(11:05). Lame.

Generico gets bieled from the ring out to Steen. Steen gets in the ring and is cornered by the Briscoes. He blows snot in Jay’s face and slaps Mark. Mistake, as they beat him down in the corner. The beat-down of Steen goes down for a long while until Generico ejects Mark. Everyone hits big spots. Generico is insane. Steen and Mark go at it and a leg lariat takes Steen down. Both men tag out. Generico’s brainbuster is blocked and countered to a facebuster. Generico takes him to the top rope, but he can’t connect with the BRAINBUSTAAAAAH. Jay throws him off and lands a top-rope leg drop for two. Victory roll on Jay gets two. YAKUZA KICK! That only gets two. Steen goes for a somersault senton, but Jay gets his knees up. Mark is powerbombed onto the apron. Generico dives out to the outside onto Jay. Steen misses a moonsault on Mark. He gets double-teamed and the Doomsday Device gets a two on Steen. It’s ridiculous how obvious it is that this is the last fall. Package Piledriver/Brainbuster combo is blocked and Steen gets planted with a Jay Driller and cut-throat driver foror the second fall(24:46).

Steen and Generico attacks the Briscoes with a ladder. I wonder what that could POSSIBLY be leading to?! They also steal the belts.