What’s All the Hubbub: Tombstone, the History of the Undertaker Disc 3

Match Quality: This rating is an objective view on the quality of the match as compared to other matches. Factors that go into the rating include storytelling, execution, match psychology, character psychology, workrate, difficulty of moves, and crowd heat, in that order.
Personal Enjoyment: This part is a little harder to explain. The best way to describe it is that sometimes, I like a match more than other matches that are technically better. Sometimes, a match that isn’t technically bad, I will hate for whatever reason. Since this is my bias, take this rating as my opinion.
Match Rating: The average of the two ratings, which will hopefully give the most accurate portrayal of how good a match is. It’s hard to measure intangibles (that’s why they are called intangibles), but this should give you a good idea. Average ratings like ***5/8 will be rounded up to ***3/4, etc.

Also, my rating scale is a little different than others:

***** = A True Classic
****1/2 = Amazing
**** = Great
***1/2 = Very Good
*** = Good
**1/2 = Average
** = Solid
*1/2 = Passable
* = Poor
1/2* = Bad
DUD = Terrible
Negative Stars = Insulting

At the end of the last disc, the Undertaker had successfully defended his WWE Title in a terrible match with the Rock. Steve Austin would beat him on RAW for that Title, and Taker would bloody Austin with the Championship. The rematch would be a First Blood match, and Vince McMahon set up that if Undertaker wins, Stone Cold will never get another title shot. If Austin wins, Vince is no longer Chairman of WWE. *cough* Vince signs the contract in Austin’s blood. The build for this match was actually very strong, one of the best built of 1999.

WWE Championship First Blood Match: The Undertaker w/ Paul Bearer vs. Stone Cold Steve Austin ©
Fully Loaded, July 25, 1999
I’ve already fully explained the stipulations. Both men have wounds going into this, which is a nice bit of psychology. Speaking of which, this match has tons of that. First Blood matches have the tension of being able to end at anytime, but can be a bit boring if done poorly. These guys work the stipulation wonderfully, with tons of near misses and both men protecting their wounds. And when they do get hit with a foreign object, it really means something. The match is a wild brawl, but hey, it’s a “First Blood” match, so it should be. If you are going to do a wild brawl, all I ask is that there be a stipulation that suits it. Austin actually works over the legs, which you would think is counterproductive, but if Taker can’t be vertical, it’s a lot harder for him to be offensive.

There’s a great spot where Taker gets tied up in the ropes and the crowd just goes crazy with anticipation of Austin’s victory, but Shane McMahon buys time and eats a sick chair shot. Taker follows it up by stepping on Austin’s head while he exposes a turnbuckle. Austin hits a low blow and a Stunner, but Vince buys some time. Taker grabs a chair, but X-Pac gets revenge from earlier in the night (according to the commentators), and Austin hits Undertaker with a camera to bust him open. Taker goes for a Tombstone but the referee sees him and gives Austin the win. Taker and Vince both eat Stunners post match. Triple H and the Rock make a cameo before Austin and Taker lay into each other. Once Taker leaves, Austin shakes Vince’s hand…and gives him another Stone Cold Stunner.

Both men worked a smart match and the stipulations meant something. Taker didn’t look weak in the loss and it was fun. Most of the shenanigans took place post-match, which is good for the rating. Of course, McMahon wasn’t out of the Chairman’s position for very long, so that kind of nullifies it. This is probably the best First Blood match in history, but if somebody can direct me to a better one, don’t hesitate.

Match Quality: ***
Personal Enjoyment: ***3/4
Match Rating: ***1/2

Undertaker would team with the Big Show to win two tag team titles before taking a sabbatical to heal some nagging injuries. He would return at Judgment Day 2000 and Chokeslam Triple H, but now he was the Biker Taker. I’ve always felt that this gimmick was underrated. We skip several months to the build up for their Wrestlemania match, which was really good, as was everything around this time. Taker was given a restraining order that kept him from going hear Stephanie. So he used Kane to catch her and forced William Regal into getting his match. Hunter responds by destroying the Undertaker’s motorcycle.

The Undertaker vs. Triple H
Wrestlemania X-7 (XVII), April 1, 2001
Here’s a match that is very polarizing among wrestling critics. Some love the match because it is action packed and both men worked very hard. Others decry the match because of the lack of psychology, the ridiculous referee bump, and a rather comedic Chokeslam from a high perch…onto a huge protective mat. My opinion is that it is an average “wrestling” match, but amazingly entertaining. The crowd helps as they are one hundred percent behind their hometown boy. Taker responds by bringing his working boots, which was the first time in a long time that he had brought them. Triple H was at a phase in his career where he was arguably better than anybody, so these guys had a good match.

Honestly, it doesn’t need to be a psychological masterpiece. The feud was personal and it should have been a fight, and this is a good fight. And unlike most of Taker’s ‘Mania matches, the result was legitimately in doubt. Taker assaulting the ref is a good piece of storytelling, as Taker doesn’t want anybody getting in the way of his revenge. It lasted too long, but who REALLY cares? Taker busts out the Tombstone, which was a nice, but Triple H gets the spot of the night by countering the Last Ride with a vicious sledgehammer shot that absolutely could have been the finish. But of course, Taker wins by countering the corner mounted punches with the Last Ride.

Match Quality: **1/2
Personal Enjoyment: ****
Match Rating: ***1/4

After this, we skip a whole year and a haircut to Undertaker’s feud with the then Undisputed WWE Champion Hulk Hogan. Taker was of course a heel at this point, but the build-up was very memorable due to Hogan running over Taker’s motorcycle with a semi. Taker then retaliated by hogtying Hogan to his bike and dragging him around in the back. That was great.

WWE Undisputed Championship: The Undertaker vs. Hulk Hogan ©
Judgment Day, May 19, 2002
Taker walks down to the ring to his absolute worst music. He had stopped coming out to Rollin’ and hadn’t found You’re Gonna Pay yet, which is one of my favorite entrance themes. Anyway, this match is much maligned, but really, it’s not that bad, especially when you compare it to their 1991 matches. Hogan has developed a mean streak after the nWo, and he is apparently motivated enough to do a superplex. Taker is no longer a zombie, so he’s willing to sell all of Hogan’s big rights, and he also uses sound psychology by working over Hogan’s left knee, which is not in good shape. This leads to a nice spot where Taker counters the big legdrop into a half crab. Taker hits a terrible Chokeslam that is entirely Hogan’s fault, and then Hogan Hulks Up but the Phenom kicks out of the Legdrop.

Hogan hits a Big boot into a steel chair and hits the Legdrop, but Vince McMahon is out and he distracts the referee. Hogan responds by tossing him in, punching his lights out, and hitting the Legdrop. Taker hits a chair shot, and then a much better Chokeslam for the 3. But after the match, the new Champion takes a chair to Hogan’s throat and smashes it into the ring, and then hits a few more shots for good measure.

Really, it’s not that bad. The brief leg work from Taker, Taker’s selling, and a few very nice spots (the superplex, the Legdrop counter, and the Big Boot to the chair) definitely put this above the other Hogan match on this set. I won’t pretend that there isn’t a horrible Chokeslam near the end, but it’s not as bad as the shove-slam Taker hit on Yokozuna.

Match Quality: *
Personal Enjoyment: *
Match Rating: *

We skip over Taker’s title loss and onto his feud with Brock Lesnar. These two really stunk up the joint at Unforgiven, a match that was thrown out. Naturally, they had to settle their issues, so they would have another match at No Mercy. In the meantime, Brock would introduce Traci, who conveniently gets all but ignored in the video package, but was supposedly someone that Taker cheated on Sara with. We do not skip over Brock attacking Taker’s hand and breaking it, which would led to then Smackdown GM Stephanie McMahon declaring the match a Hell in a Cell. Taker would use his cast as a weapon, and Brock and Paul Heyman tried to force him to be unable to use it, but that doesn’t work. So we now get this match, one of my personal favorites on the set.

WWE Championship Hell in a Cell: The Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar © w/Paul Heyman
No Mercy, October 20, 2002
This match was voted the Match of the Year in WWE Magazine, for whatever that means. It also had the unenviable task of trying to legitimize Hell in a Cell after the Six-Man Hell in a Cell and Triple H-Chris Jericho had caused it to lose some of his luster. You’re Gonna Pay is Taker’s music now, and I am happy. This is actually something of a clash of styles. Taker hates Brock and just wants to fight, but Lesnar is a powerhouse wrestler and he’s young, so he tries to wrestle. The main psychology is that Taker can do his most damage by hitting Brock with the cast, but his hand is broken, so it hurts him to use it. You also have the Hell in a Cell veteran in Taker, who knows how to use the Cell to his advantage, while Brock is confused doing to being in the match for the first time. This match is wonderfully violent and bloody. Brock bleeds for the first time in his career and even Paul Heyman gets busted open.

The match takes a sick turn when Heyman ties up Taker’s hand with his belt, and Brock takes a steel chair to it repeatedly. He then rips the cast off. Brock busts out a cool spot by hanging from the Cell and kicks at Taker. Taker, to his credit, busts out an elbow drop and a tope suicida. There’s a great spot where Taker can’t pick up the steps because of his hand, and then Brock picks it up like it is nothing and drills him with the steps, and then chucks it over the ring. Taker gets an absolute gusher of a bladejob, and I honestly don’t think I’ve ever seen Taker bleed that much. Taker starts to forget about the pain in his hand…except he gets revenge by stepping on Brock’s hand. Brock kicks out of a Chokeslam and a Last Ride, and then counters the Tombstone into the F5 to beat the Undertaker clean.

J.D. Dunn covered all that was wrong with this match in his No Mercy review a few months back. Technically speaking there’s not much here. Undertaker ignores his hand several times to deliver punches and a Chokeslam. But really, complaining about Undertaker not selling is like complaining about Ric Flair cheating. It’s part of his CHARACTER! It all works in the context of the match. Would it have been nice to see him fail on a Chokeslam? Yeah, but it wasn’t necessary. Most wrestlers don’t go all Bret Hart on selling an injury, and Taker goes out of his way not to sell injuries. Dunn is of course entitled to his opinion, and if you compare the match to others, his rating is pretty close. But judging the match on its own merits, you have a very violent, bloody match that told a story and put over both men. When Taker takes a clean loss, you have something special.

Match Quality: ***1/4
Personal Enjoyment: ****1/4
Match Rating: ***3/4

Of course, Brock Lesnar would not be the last young gun to try and make his name off of Undertaker. John Cena would do the same thing in 2003. Wonder who would turn out to be the bigger investment out of the two.

Undertaker vs. John Cena
Vengeance, July 27, 2003
John Cena was in his raping days, and I realized how much I miss this character. I mean, this gimmick was never a “main event” gimmick, but it was perfect for the mid-card. People can bash Cena all they want, but this kid has always had the “it” factor where you knew he would be a big star. That said, in this match, he is Taker’s whipping boy. There’s a nice moment before the match where Taker gets off his bike and walks down to the ring, just for emphasis. This match was all about respect, the youthful punk versus the conscience of the WWE.

Taker works over Cena for the majority of the match, and actually talks trash, which is nice. Taker doesn’t need to work over a body part, as his goal is just to beat up the punk kid, and Taker proves that when he picks Cena up after a Chokeslam. Cena actually works in the Rock’s water spit, but he doesn’t get offense for the first several minutes. He finally gets an opening by slipping out of the Last Ride and DDTs the Deadman. Cena actually gets the smartest spot of the match by ripping off a turnbuckle pad and luring Taker into hitting the avalanche into the exposed turnbuckle. He works over the ribs with simple but effective offense, and he stays focused on it the entire match, which was a trademark of Cena’s heel run. Taker bleeds from the mouth, and there’s a nice spot where Taker goes for the leaping clothesline but can’t get the height because of the ribs. Cena gets a chain shot to the ribs, which I really appreciate. Taker kicks out of the FU though, and Cena goes for the mounted punches, but gets caught with the Last Ride and Taker wins.

Right here is proof that you can work a smart match without using fifty variations of an armbar. Cena was smart with his work on the ribs. He scouted Taker’s trademark offense and lured him into injuring himself, and capitalized on the injury. He didn’t try to do anything fancy, but he stayed focused. Cena’s shot to the ribs with the chain was a nice touch, as most people would just go for the knockout shot, but here Cena works the injury and the ref doesn’t have to pretend that people get suspiciously laid out without foul play. The finish was smart because Taker wouldn’t have been able to lift Cena because of his ribs, but he capitalized on an opening. This was really good stuff.

Match Quality: ***1/4
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/4
Match Rating: ***1/4

Taker would challenge Brock Lesnar for the WWE Championship later in the year, but Brock was Vince’s personal champ, and Vince said that as long as he was around, Taker would never be champion. So Taker came up with a solution.

Buried Alive Match: The Undertaker vs. Mr. McMahon
Survivor Series, November 16, 2003
Taker’s music pretty much sums up the story of this match. His hair is already growing in preparation for his return to the Dark Side. Anyway, there’s not a whole lot to the match. It’s a glorified bloodletting. Vince bleeds on the first punch and Taker just destroys him for the entirety of the match. This was right after Vince defeated his daughter in an “I Quit” match, so you can imagine how loved he is. This match is awful, but it’s also awfully entertaining. Vince bleed a gusher and Taker carries Vince to the gravesite, but Vince gets his only offense of the match with dirt to the eyes and a low blow, and a shovel shot, but Taker wins anyway, and Kane shows up and beats Taker into the grave. Fortunately, they learned from the other Buried Alive matches and got a loader to cover the Grave in about 10 seconds. Mr. McMahon wins. There’s not really a whole lot more to say.

Match Quality: DUD
Personal Enjoyment: **
Match Rating: *

Naturally, Undertaker wasn’t going to let this slide, but decided to take things back to his roots. So we had to wait for four months and get a bunch of really creepy signs of the Deadman’s return. Admittedly, I marked out for most of it.

The Undertaker w/Paul Bearer vs. Kane
Wrestlemania XX, March 14, 2004
Oh yes, Paul is back, and he tells Kane that his no son of his. I’m glad somebody has Kane’s history straight. Anyway, this was one of the great moments in Wrestlemania history. There really is a surreal feel to it, even though the television. However, this is not one of the great matches in Wrestlemania history. It is essentially a long squash, but considering it was Taker’s first match in four months, so that’s probably for the best. The crowd is very vocal in their support of Taker’s return, though. Taker hits all of his signature stuff. Kane also hits all of his signature offense, including countering Old School into a goozle, and shortly thereafter hitting the Chokeslam.

Of course, Taker sits up and the Garden erupts. Taker makes his comeback and hits an ugly Chokeslam that ends up more like a side slam. The crowd actually chants for a Tombstone and Taker obliges them before pinning Kane. Taker goes 12-0, and the crowd gives him their respect. As I said, it was little more than a squash, and Taker was suffering from ring rust. Aside from the special feel of Taker’s return, Kane’s facial expressions were the only thing unique about this match. Really, the match didn’t even need to take place. Taker could have come out and gotten his revenge, and when you look at it that way, it’s darn entertaining.

Match Quality: 3/4*
Personal Enjoyment: ***1/4
Match Rating: **

They give a little surmise of Taker’s career that ends the disc lightly. It also has my favorite Chokeslam of all time when Taker does it to John Bradshaw Layfield while still wearing his hat and trench coat. The visual is just awesome.

Extras:

Undertaker interview about Triple H: This is pretty bland. Triple H is a coward and Taker’s going to beat him up. He does call Stephanie McMahon a skank though. Oddly enough, skank is not a word according to Microsoft Word.

Undertaker promo on Hulk Hogan: Taker gives an AWESOME promo on Hogan here. This was during his heel run in 2003. He says “I’m not in awe of you, and I’m certainly not impressed with you. Because I beat you. I’m better now than you were in your prime.” Taker speaks the truth, and honestly, I was cheering for him to beat Hogan, and I even like Hogan (sometimes).

Undertaker talking about Hell in a Cell: Taker talks about how he’s considered the master of the Cell, and that he’s not sure if it’s a compliment or a curse. It was short, got the Cell over, and was bland.

Undertaker in the graveyard promo on Mr. McMahon: This was aired the day after my fourteenth birthday. One of the best the Undertaker has ever had, and I’m glad that they put it on the set. It ends with the camera being covered in dirt, which is a great way to hype the match.

WWE Championship: Undertaker vs. Kurt Angle
Smackdown, September 3, 2003
This was my pick for free match of the year in 2003. People tend to think about Brock Lesnar and Kurt Angle’s Iron Man Match, but in my opinion, this match is better. These guys have such a unique chemistry that has not been duplicated. It’s the consummate puncher verses the consummate wrestler. They start out with some nice wrestling, and Taker even busts out an armdrag. He spends the first few minutes working over the arm for Old School, while Angle just tries to get a quick pin. The match takes a big turn when Taker throws the first big right hand in what had been a wrestling match, and takes control with his signature offense. Eventually, Taker starts going for his big moves, but Angle keeps countering to the Ankle Lock. Taker nearly wins the match when he applies a Triangle Choke. There’s an interesting history behind that, because Taker has only tapped once in his career: to a Triangle Choke from Kurt Angle. Angle fights out of it, but Taker catches him with the Last Ride. Brock Lesnar comes down and batters both men with a chair and draws huge heel heat.

Before the match, Kurt Angle said that Taker is the best wrestler he’s ever seen. Angle says it was his chance to prove that he was as good as he was, despite his short time in the business. He says that they got a standing ovation for the match and when you get a standing ovation (without a finish no less), you did something right. He says he thinks he can pass his classics with Shawn Michaels and Chris Benoit in a match with him. He never did, but I do think they had it in them because of their unique chemistry. The best way to sum up this match to me: I was more interested in watching it than giving my thoughts on it.