CHIKARA Review: The Global Gauntlet, Night I

Easton, PA – 10.18.2008

After a fine duo of shows in the Midwest, CHIKARA returns to the comfortable terrain of Pennsylvania with “The Global Gauntlet: Night One”. Tonight, seven wrestlers from the Big Japan Wrestling promotion have accepted the invitation from CHIKARA to come to the United States for a clash of international proportions. While two of these wrestlers will compete in tag team action, the other five will compete in a series of singles match against some of CHIKARA’s finest in a battle for supremacy. In addition, we have the final round of the La Lotería Letal tournament, as Lince Dorado and Jimmy Olsen take on The UnStable of Vin Gerard and Colin Delaney. Which promotion will come out on top? Who will win the first ever La Lotería Letal tournament? Let’s find out!

Commentary is provided by Bryce Remsburg, Leonard F. Chikarason, Louden Noxious, Eddie Kingston, and Ultramantis Black.

Louden Noxious starts off the show with a song he calls “Big in Easton, Big in Japan”, sung to the tune of “Turning Japanese” by The Vapors. This was absolutely excellent, the best of all the songs he has sung thus far.

The Osirian Portal (Amasis & Ophidian) vs. Atsushi Ohashi & Shinya Ishikawa

Amasis says they already have two points, and tonight they will get their third. However, they say they have to face two men from Big Japan, one of the most unpredictable companies in Japan. Because of that, Amasis says, it’s a shame they traveled so far just to lose. They ask the Super Smash Bros. if they can dig it.

Ohashi and Amasis start out. Amasis teases a test of strength, then dances at the end. Ohashi is not amused. Ohashi works over Amasis’ arm with a wrist lock. Amsis dances his way into a reversal. They exchange arm drags and leg sweeps, leading to a stand still. Ophidian and Shinya tag in. They exchange a series of holds on the mat. Ophidian locks on a Cattle Mutilation but Shinya reaches the ropes. Shinya applies a headlock. Ophidian pushes Shinya to the ropes, but Shinya catches Ophidian with a shoulder tackle. Shinya hits a couple of dropkicks for the two count. Shinya bodyslams Ophidian twice only to get the two count. Shinya applies a Boston Crab, but Ophidian slithers to the ropes to escape. As Ophidian hits the ropes, Amasis blind tags him. Ophidian ducks a cross body attempt by Shinya, then puts Shinya in a trance! The Portal hits a double face plant to Shinya. Ophidian locks on a legged full nelson, but Ohashi comes in to break it up. Shinya attempts a comeback with some chops, but Ophidian clubs him across the back to stop him. The Osirian Portal continues to cut the ring in half and isolate Shinya in their corner. Ophidian and Shinya get into a big chopping battle. Ophidian hits the ropes and gets hit with a punch. Shinya hits the ropes and takes down Ophidian with a clothesline. Shinya finally tags in Ohashi, and Amasis also gets tagged in. Ohashi comes in clubbing Amasis with a series of forearms. He follows up with a dropkick in the corner. Shinya dropkicks Ophidian off the apron. Shinya holds Amasis and Ohashi hits a missile dropkick off the top rope. The Portal runs at Team Big Japan, only to be caught with a German suplex and a Northern Lights suplex! Each man bridges, but the Portal kick out at two. Ohashi and Ophidian come in as the legal men. Meanwhile, Amasis is being chased by Shinya on the outside. Ophidian hits the double knees off the top, but Shinya comes in to break up the count. Amasis takes out Shinya with a flying shoulder block from the top rope. Ophidian locks the Ophidian Death Grip on Ohashi! Amasis holds Shinya on the outside preventing him from breaking up the hold. Ohashi has no choice but to tap out, giving The Osirian Portal the win and their third point! The Osirian Portal have earned a shot at the Campeonatos de Parejas. This was a very enjoyable opener. It gave the crowd a nice taste of what to expect from the Big Japan talent, and got over the Osirian Portal fairly strong. **3/4

Ophidian gets on the mic and tells Chikarason to come into the ring. Ophidian says tomorrow in Philadelphia, they have a non-title match against the Super Smash Bros. Amasis grabs the microphone and says they want to cash in their points in that match tomorrow. Chikarason grabs the mic, congratulates them, and says as long as the Super Smash Bros. accept, he has no problem making that match a title match. Amasis says he and Ophidian are going back to Egypt to celebrate. That seems silly.

Match 1 in the Best of 5 Series
Ultimo Breakfast (CHIKARA) vs. Yuji Okabayashi (BJW)

Both men exchange forearms. Ultimo goes for a headbutt, but Yuji ducks and nails him with more forearms. Ultimo trips Yuji and locks on a leg submission. Ultimo turns it into La Magistral for the two. Ultimo ducks a clothesline, but gets hit with a big overhead belly to belly suplex. Yuji tosses Ultimo the ropes, but Ultimo catches him. Ultimo tries for the Cereal Killer, but Yuji blocks by holding onto the ropes. Yuji runs at Ultimo and is caught with a sidewalk slam. Ultimo hit the ropes. Yuji kicks him in the gut and goes for a suplex. Ultimo works his way out and hits the ropes. Yuji kicks him in the gut once more, and powers Ultimo up with a suplex. Ultimo catches Yuji in the corner with a sunset flip, but Yuji kicks out. Ultimo lifts him up in the Fireman’s Carry and drops him on his back for the two count. Ultimo leaps off the top rope, but is caught by a powerslam from Yuji! Yuji blasts him with a Lariat, then picks him up in the Torture Rack. That’s enough to get Yuji and Big Japan the win, leading the series 1 to 0. This was very short (about four minutes long) but enjoyable for what it was. Ultimo has gotten SO much better in 2008 that it’s a shame that the character will be gone by the years end. **

Match 2 in the Best of 5 Series
Ultramantis Black (CHIKARA) vs. Jaki Numazawa (BJW)

Both men lock up to the ropes. Jaki claims Mantis pulled his hair; false! They lock up to the ropes once again. The times, Mantis claims Jaki pulled his hair; also false! Jaki puts Mantis in an arm lock and stands on his toes for more leverage. Mantis bridges back and uses his strength to get out. Jaki calls for a test of strength, but kicks Mantis in the stomach and applies an arm lock. Mantis reverses and pushes Jaki to the corner. Manits hits a series of arm drags. Jaki comes back with a knee to the face, a chin breaker, and a spinning back elbow. Jaki hits a suplex then rolls through into a back body drop. Mantis puts his foot on the rope to break the count. Jaki rolls Mantis forward into an Octopus like submission. Mantis gets the rope forcing Jaki to break. Mantis catches Jaki in the corner by dropping his throat on the ropes and following with a boot. Mantis gets a mouthful of Jaki’s hair! He then swivels Jaki around a number of times before hitting a neck breaker. Mantis locks on an arm capture ankle lock. Jaki uses the ropes to break. Mantis hits the ropes after some forearms, but is caught with a hurricanrana by Jaki! Mantis hits the floor. Jaki hits a baseball slide. Jaki carries Mantis around the ring, eventually throwing him into the corner post. Jaki goes under the ring to find a weapon. This gives Mantis time to recover and attack Jaki. Mantis hits a series of chops and a big body slam to Jaki on the floor. Jaki comes back with a kick to Mantis’ gut, then hits a snap suplex on him to the floor. Jaki picks up a chair from the crowd. He goes to hit Mantis, but Bryce grabs the chair and puts it back. Mantis attacks Jaki from behind and throws him back in the ring. Jaki blocks a hip toss. Mantis turns it into the Praying Mantis Bomb but Jaki reverses into a backslide. Mantis goes for a punch, but Jaki catches Mantis’ arm and throws it into Bryce Remsburg! Bryce gets knocked loopy for a second giving Jaki enough time to kick Mantis in the groin! Jaki hits Mantis with a Death Valley Driver to pick up the win, giving BJW the 2 to 0 advantage. I really enjoyed the story the match told; Jaki is a deathmatch wrestler, so he tried to use weapons to his advantage. Then he broke one of CHIKARA’s key rules (no low blows, or you’re instantly DQ’d) to get the victory. He worked so well that the fans had no problem cheering Ultramantis Black, one of the key heels CHIKARA. The wrestling was fine, but the story was what was up here. **3/4

Match 3 in the Best of 5 Series
Hallowicked (CHIKARA) vs. Katsumasa Inoue (BJW)

Wicked and Inoue lock up. Each man exchange arm locks, and Hallowicked rolls up Inoue for the two. Wicked locks on a headlock until Inoue throws him to the ropes. Inoue catches Hallowicked with a diving headbutt to the chest. He hits a series of chops on Hallowicked. Hallowicked fires back with a series of forearms. Inoue fights back with some of his own. Hallowicked nails Inoue with a huge chops, and Inoue responds with a forearm attack of the ropes. Inoue clubs Hallowicked in the chest and beats him down in the ropes. Inoue suplexes Wicked down for the two count. Inoue locks in an arm bar, but Hallowicked gets the ropes to break. Inoue brings Wicked to his feet and chops him in the ropes. Inoue hits the ropes and dropkicks Hallowicked right in the chest. Inoue hits Hallowicked with a painful sounding headbutt. Inoue body slams Hallowicked and heads to the top rope. He goes for a diving headbutt, but Hallowicked rolls out of the way. Wicked tries to fire up, but Inoue clubs him in the chest. Wicked blocks a cradle suplex and chops him in the chest. Hallowicked blasts Inoue with the Go Too Sleepy Hollow but only gets the two count. Wicked whips Inoue in the corner, and Inoue comes out hard with a dropkick. Inoue follows with a release Fisherman’s Suplex for the two count. Inoue heads back to the top rope and this time hits the diving headbutt. Hallowicked kicks out! They exchange foreaerms again, and even exchange a series of roll ups. Hallowicked avoids a splash in the corner and hits the step-up Enzugiri. Hallowicked tosses Inoue neck first off the top to the mat. Hallowicked cracks him in the face with the Big Boot and rolls him up for the win! CHIKARA is now on the board, trailing BJW 1 to 2. This was good stuff. Two big men just beating the tar out of each other. I am so glad Hallowicked and Ultramantis were involved, being as they were in the first graduating class of CHIKARA. This was good, good times. ***

The Colony (Fire Ant & Soldier Ant) and Jessie McKay vs. Crossbones, Ryan Eagles, & Madison Eagles

Crossbones says he is going scrap the Colony off the bottom of his boot tonight. He says the Colony also brought him a gift; Jessie McKay. Crossbones says he doesn’t care if she is a girl, he is going to beat her face in. He concludes by saying: Equal Rights, Equal Fights! This promo ruled.

Jessie McKay, Ryan Eagles, and Madison Eagles all come from Australia. Madison and Jessie went on a small U.S. tour in September and October, competing in CZW, SHIMMER, ROH, and other promotions in the U.S.

Madison and Jesise lock up. Madison runs up the ropes and takes Jessie down with an arm drag. Jessie blocks another arm drag and takes Madison down. They exchange a series of holds, until Jessie drags Madison to the floor. Fire Ant and Crossbones come in as the legal men. Fire Ant runs at Crossbones, and Crossbones shoulder tackles Fire Ant down. Fire Ant tries again, and takes down Crossbones with an alita. They exchange chops. Fire Ant is caught in a wheelbarrow by Crossbones. Fire Ant however hits the ropes and dropkicks Crossbones to the floor. Fire Ant tags in Soldier Ant, and Ryan Eagles steps in. Ryan takes Soldier Ant down and applies a headlock. Soldier escapes and Ryan chops away. Ryan again applies the headlock. Soldier runs off the ropes and is taken down with a shoulder tackle. Soldier Ant trips Ryan as he goes for the ropes. Ryan hits the ropes and is stopped with a salute from Soldier Ant. Soldier Ant blocks a punch and nails Ryan with a saluting headbutt and a rolling salute. Soldier backdrops Ryan, then drags him to his corner. Fire Ant tags in, and the Colony hits a tandem Manhattan Drop. Fire Ant hits a senton, and The Colony hit a double team senton/splash for the two count. The Colony double team Ryan in the corner, then pick up Jessie and take her back to the corner. Crossbones and Madison trip The Colony to the outside of the ring, leaving Jessie McKay alone. Ryan runs and smacks Jessie with a clothesline to massive boos. Crossbones gets tagged in and picks up Jessie off the mat. Crossbones hits a big splash on Jessie then kicks the bajesus out of her back. He hits another splash on the mat, and pulls her up! Ryan comes in and hits Jessie with a series of clotheslines. Madison tags in and pins her for two. The rudos continue the onslaught on Jessie McKay, until she countered an attack from Ryan Eagles and tagged in Fire Ant! The Colony both come in and hit dropkicks on Crossbones and Ryan. Soldier Ant and Fire Ant form G.I. Ant. Crossbones tries to get on Ryan’s shoulder, then Madison’s shoulders. Neither works, of course, since Crossbones is massive. The Colony dropkicks everyone to the outside. Each of the Tecnicos leap to the outside onto their foes. Jessie and Madison get back in first. Madison hits a neck breaker onto her knee. Soldier Ant comes in and sends Madison to the floor. Ryan tosses Soldier Ant down, but gets caught with a huge dropkick from Fire Ant. Fire Ant goes for the wheelbarrow stunner on Crossbones, but Crossbones catches him with a sit-out backbreaker. Jessie and Crossbones stand toe to toe. Jessie takes Crossbones to the outside with a boot, and follows up with a hurricanrana on the floor! Madison kicks away at Soldier Ant inside the ring. Soldier takes her to the outside while Fire Ant catches Ryan off the top rope with a Fireman’s Carry. Soldier Ant follows up with a diving saluting headbutt for the win! This was another fun match-up, and a nice break from the BJW matches. Any time Jessie and Crossbones were in the ring together, the crowd ate it up. Once again, good times. ***

Match 4 in the Best of 5 Series
Brodie Lee (CHIKARA) vs. Daisuke Sekimoto (BJW)

Brodie is outside standing by a truck. He says he made a trip round the country, and it still bothers him how Claudio Castagnoli beat him in the steel cage. He says he is going to take out on whoever stands in his way in the ring from now on.

An intense lock up starts this match. Brodie pushes Sekimoto to the ropes for the clean break. Brodie asks for a test of strength. Brodie takes Sekimoto down in a bridge, but Sekimoto gets up. Brodie kicks Sekimoto then slams him to the mat. Brodie locks on a side headlock. Daisuke pushes him to the ropes and is taken down with a shoulder block. Daisuke leap frogs over Brodie as he comes off the ropes and hip tosses Brodie to the floor. Sekimoto follows up with a tope through the middle ropes to the outside! Daisuke lights up Brodie with some chops, but Brodie chops him right back. Brodie pushes Sekimoto into the ring post and tosses him back in the ring. Brodie and Sekimoto exchange a series of chops and throat thrusts, till Brodie rakes Sekimoto’s face. Brodie hits a butterfly suplex for a two count. The camera shows Claudio Castagnoli sitting ringside, scouting for the Global Gauntlet tomorrow night, where he and Daisuke will be the final participants for their respective teams. Brodie hits a series of European uppercuts, takes Sekimoto down, and applies a chin lock. Sekimoto tries to work back to a vertical base, but Brodie stops him. Brodie hits some chops and hard right hands to Sekimoto in the corner. Sekimoto fights back with some massive forearms. Brodie hits the ropes, but is caught with a lariat. Sekimoto hits a second and Brodie still stands. Brodie hit the ropes, Sekimoto ducks, and Sekimoto takes him down with a third big lariat! This only gets him a two count on Brodie. Brodie and Sekimoto get in a suplex battle, with each man stopping the other. Daisuke ends up the winner, suplexing Brodie for the two count. Daisuke tries for the dead lift German Suplex, but Brodie works out of it. Daisuke gets Brodie in the Torture Rack but Brodie pushes him to the corner. Brodie hits a Big Boot in the corner, then a superkick in the corner! Brodie catches Daisuke with the Black Hole Slam but only gets the two count. Brodie hits the powerbomb and again only gets two. Brodie misses the Big Boot. Daisuke whips Brodie in the corner and hits two big lariats. Sekimoto reverses a whip and hits a third lariat. Daisuke picks up Brodie for a gigantic dead lift German suplex for the pin! Wow, that was great stuff. Two huge dudes beating the piss out of one another. This proved that Daisuke was a forced to be reckoned with, and answered the question as to why BJW is positioning him last in the Global Gauntlet tomorrow night. This also gives BJW the early win, with a 3 to 1 advantage over CHIKARA. ***1/4

Match 5 in the Best of 5 Series
Mike Quackenbush (CHIKARA) vs. Ryuji Ito (BJW)

The camera shows a close up of Ito’s body, which is covered and welts and scars. It’s very disgusting. This is a match up between the captains of the Global Gauntlet teams for tomorrow night.

Quackenbush and Ito exchange waist locks. Ito puts on a wrist lock, but Quack takes him down. Quack pushes Ito’s legs and applies a leg lock. Ito wraps his arms around Quack’s chin, but Quack pushes his arms off and applies more pressure on Ito’s knee cap. Ito smashes Quack with a forearm, and Quack delivers one right back. Quack fakes another and applies a headlock. Quack ducks a leap frog from Ito, but gets caught with a dropkick from Ito. They exchange chops until Quack catches Ito’s arm. Quack runs up the ropes and slips, but rolls up Ito with La Magistral. Ito reverses into a pin for the two. Quack goes for the palm strike, but Ito dropkicks Quack’s leg out from under him, Ito grabs the same leg an wrenches on the leg. Ito kicks away at Quack’s hamstring, and slams his leg onto the mat. Ito delivers a slam, and hits an elbow drop for the two count. Ito locks on a single leg crab on Quack’s hurt leg. Quack tries to work up, but Ito continues to keep Quackenbush down by his bad leg. Quack uses the ropes in the corner to get to a vertical base. Quack flies out of the corner with a hard palm strike to Ito’s face. Quack bulldogs Ito to the mat, and follows up with a flying clothesline. He lifts up Ito and hits the Black Tornado Slam. Quack goes to the top rope and lands a swanton. Quackenbush only gets the two. Ryuji hits a jumping knee to the face and a Northern Lights suplex and bridges for the two count. Quack reverses a toss to the corner and jumps over the top rope. Ito kicks Quack in the face, and comes off the top rope with a missile dropkick. Ito lands a moonsault for the two count. Ito locks for the Dragon Suplex, but Quackenbush slips through. He comes back to his feet. Ito blocks a palm strike and kicks out Quack’s leg. Ito comes at Quack, but Quack locks his head and hits an inverted brainbuster! Quackenbush only gets the two. Quackenbush hits a piledriver for the two as well. Ito ducks another palm strike, but Ito ducks into a German Suplex. Ito hits a Shining Enzugiri, and follows up with a big axe kick. Quack lands on his feet after a slam. He goes for a double knee strike but Ito moves. Ito hits the Michinoku Driver and heads up to the top. Ito hits the Dragon Splash for the three count and the win. Excellent match up here as well. Ito put on a great performance proving why he is the captain. Big Japan shows their unquestioned dominance for the evening, soundly winning the Best of Five series 4 matches to 1. ***1/4

The entire Big Japan squad comes out to celebrate, as the Colony, Hallowicked, and Claudio and Ultimo Breakfast help Mike Quackenbush to the back. This is after they point at team Big Japan and let them know they are going down tomorrow.

La Lotería Letal; Final Round
Jimmy Olsen & Lince Dorado vs. The UnStable (Vin Gerard & Colin Delaney)

Colin says it is freezing outside, but he is warm inside because he and Vin are going to win three points tonight. Colin tells the story of how he came back to CHIKARA and see his brother Jimmy as former shell of himself. Colin says he pinned Jimmy to the mat last month, and it will be no different tonight. Vin says Jimmy and Lince are on step away from the UnStable holding all the gold, and one step away from turning CHIKARA upside down.

For those who forget, Jimmy and Lince defeated the teams of Shane Storm & Eddie Kingston and Icarus & Ultimo Breakfast while Colin and Vin defeated Halcon Guerrero & Mitch Ryder and Mike Quackenbush & Pinkie Sanchez to make it to the final round.

Vin and Jimmy start off. Jimmy tries to attack Vin, but Vin slides to the outside. Colin joins him for some words of wisdom. Vin comes back in and evades an attack from Jimmy. Vin takes a powder in the corner. Vin evades another attack, but Jimmy slaps Vin right in the face. Jimmy takes it to Vin in the corner with some hard chops. He suplexes Vin and floats over into the pin for two. Vin hits Jimmy in the gut and hits the ropes. Jimmy back body drops Vin as he comes off the ropes. Jimmy tags in Lince, and both men pummel Vin with chops before sending him to the mat with a double hip toss. Lince slaps Vin and headbutts him in the chest. Lince grabs Vin’s hand, runs up the rope, and drops down on Vin with a whoopee cushion! Vin goes to the floor as Colin steps in. Colin looks for a test of strength, but applies a headlock instead. Colin sends Lince to the mat with a shoulder block. Colin applies another headlock and wrenches it on. Lince pushes Colin the ropes. He waist locks Colin into a pin. Colin kicks out and is taken down with an arm drag into an arm lock. Lince continues to work over Colin ,dragging him over to his corner where he tags in Jimmy. Jimmy leaps at Colin, who does his best to chase Jimmy around the ring without being touched. Colin keeps trying to leave but Jimmy keeps pulling him back. Jimmy follows Colin to the outside, tagging in Vin and Lince. Vin beats on Lince and brings him to the UnStable’s corner. The UnStable cut off Lince, make frequent tags, and beat on the golden lynx. Colin even knocked Jimmy off the apron as Lince almost made it to this corner. Vin mocks the crowd by chanting “LINCE!” at them. Lince escapes as Vin sunset flips Lince and Lince double stomps Vin in the chest. As he crawls to his corner, Colin runs to the corner and pulls Jimmy off the apron! An angry Jimmy comes in the ring, but the referee stops him before he can do anything. The UnStable continues to isolate Lince and beat him down. Lince catches Colin with a swinging neck breaker as he comes off the ropes. Colin prevents Lince from making the rag. Lince ducks a clothesline and hits a pump handle slam on Colin! Vin runs to trip Jimmy, but Jimmy evades the attack and kicks Vin in the face. Lince tags in Jimmy who comes in a house of fire on Jimmy. Jimmy pounds away on Colin until Vin breaks it up. Jimmy then pounds away on Vin on the mat. Colin hits a double back chop on Jimmy to stop his attack. Lince jumps in from the apron and ranas Colin Delaney down. Jimmy superkicks Vin Gerard but only gets the two count. Jimmy assists Lince with a moonsault press onto Colin. They hit a tandem face plant on Vin then a double dropkick to his head. Jimmy catches Colin with a jumping Enzugiri and a German suplex. Vin takes Jimmy down with an STO, and Lince hits a moonsault of the second rope! Lince only gets the two count. Jimmy jumps in looking a sunset flip, but Colin catches Jimmy with a huge DDT! Vin locks the STF on Jimmy Olsen and Colin holds Lince back. Jimmy grabs the ropes to break it up. Lince hits a hurricanrana on both members of the UnStable, and hits the flipping Urinagi on Colin! Lince goes up top but Vin cuts him off. Colin lifts up Jimmy for the FU, but Jimmy rolls into a sunset flip. Meanwhile, Lince pushes Vin off the top rope to the floor. Jimmy hits the Overbomb on Colin, and Lince hits him with the Shooting Star Press to the back! Jimmy rolls him up with La Magistral for the win! Jimmy and Lince have earned three points and a shot at the Campeonatos de Parejas! Excellent main event; it did a great job telling the story of these teams rivalries in addition to being a great wrestling contest. ***1/2