The Wrestling News Experience: 04.11.11

Monday, April 11th, 2011

From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!

We’re Going To Need A New Title

Greetings, everyone, and welcome to the Experience, I’m Stephen Randle. And after a very long week and a longer weekend, I am exhausted and completely worn-out, and yet here I am. But it’s not like people don’t accuse me of mailing it in every week in the first place. So, here you go, I mailed this one in. I’m admitting it. Go me.

Moving on.

Last week, The Rock and John Cena had a momentous meeting in the center of the ring, after The Rock cost Cena the WWE Championship at WrestleMania. After professing no desire to face the Miz ever again (presumably WWE is hoping nobody caught that little slip), Cena agreed with The Rock on one thing: both men must meet in a match, and it must take place next year, at WrestleMania XXVIII. With a gentlemen’s agreement (huzzah!) reached, Cena and Rock paused to foil a random run-in by The Corre, and then the show went off the air.

What this means is that, while Cena has his opponent for WrestleMania, it seems that there is no current challenger for The Miz’s WWE Championship. Who among the Raw roster will stand up to take on the most must-see WWE Champion in history?

Plus, the enigmatic Sin Cara made his WWE debut last week, using his awe-inspiring aerial skills (and a mini-trampoline) to send the United States Champion, Sheamus, running into the night. After a similar appearance on Smackdown, and with his name on everyone’s lips, only time will tell if Sin Cara will make his presence felt tonight.

Also, the babbling presence that is Michael Cole and his irrational hatred for so very many things will be back next week, so let’s hope somebody, anybody, is out there who can shut him up. Also, let’s hope that singlet doesn’t make a return appearance.

All this and more, tonight on Raw!

You Can’t Say You Weren’t Warned

After weeks (some would say years) of warning, it’s official: there is no wrestling in WWE. The entertainment giant has rebranded itself, from World Wrestling Entertainment to, simply, WWE, which does not stand, apparently, for anything. Good thing I didn’t waste my time Standing Up For WWE, then.

All right, now, calm down, because although this will result in less mentions of the word “wrestling” on WWE TV (which led to hilarity on Smackdown on Friday when Michael Cole was forced to admit that he wasn’t wearing his singlet because he “wasn’t entertaining tonight”), the fact is, commentary and promos have very rarely, if ever, referred to WWE in full anyway. Basically, this rebranding is a corporate maneuver that, presumably, will allow WWE to expand beyond a wrestling company. Of course, down here with us peons, ask anybody WWE is, they’ll…okay, many of them will look confused because they stopped paying attention long before the name change, but either way, the word they’ll come up with will be “wrestling”.

Hey, just because WWE has failed at every non-wrestling venture they have ever, and I mean ever, tried, plus several ventures that actually involved wrestling, doesn’t mean that someday they won’t be a major force in entertainment. I think the real question is, now that they’re just entertainment, how long before they stop testing for steroids?

Tough Enough Returns In Glory?

I wanted to take a minute to talk about the return of Tough Enough last week, which I managed to watch somehow despite no network in Canada carrying the damned thing (come on, Score, you’ll show NXT Redemption but not this?), and as a big, big fan of the original Tough Enough, I have to say…this is almost as good. I don’t mind the in-house “drama” stuff, as long as it doesn’t get completely out of hand, but everything else was great. Austin knocks it out of the park as the gruff and knowledgeable host, and instantly gives the impression that he cares about who wins, and isn’t just a guy who shows up for the opening monologue and the elimination ceremony. Plus, after all these years, we find out that the “Sid crapping his pants” rumour was completely off.

Of course, I’m going to address the big moment of the first show, where the girl who would end up as the first eliminated (in no great shock, although of course WWE gave her a developmental deal anyway, pretty much showing that the mook who said the women just have to be hot to get a WWE contract was on to something) claimed that her favourite match was Melina vs Alicia Fox, a match notable for…well, nothing, really. I think it might have gotten some votes for Worst Match of the Year here at 411, though. Listen, you’re welcome to like whatever match you want (especially when you consider her sister was in the match), but when you’re trying to prove that you actually have a passion for wrestling because you’re going to get sent home otherwise, perhaps you might choose a better example of your fandom than a meaningless Divas title match from within the past year. Hell, my biggest problem is that it’s the only match she came up with. Ask a real wrestling fan to name their favourite match, and you’ll usually have to sit there for a bit while they either a) rattle off a dozen or so of their top choices, or b) have to explain their reasoning behind arriving at the one match they chose. I mean, at least put some effort in, girl!

The Internet Ruins Lives

Coming out of WrestleMania last week, it appeared that not everybody was happy in some way with the show. Most notably, TNA wrestler Kurt Angle immediately took to everyone’s favourite refuge for quotable quotes, Twitter, and openly mocked several WWE Superstars, notably deriding Randy Orton and Jack Swagger for “stealing his moves”. Really, he should have been more upset that not only did Orton use the Angle Slam, it’s a transition move that barely gets a two count. Anyway, after several people fired back at Angle, he came out in a seemingly contrite fashion and claimed that his Twitter was “hacked”, and the statements were not made by him.

Well, Kurt, we’d love to believe you, really we would, but sadly, making lame jokes on Twitter where you claim delusional ownership of every move you’ve ever used as if you invented them all when you debuted, is probably the most believable crazy thing you’ve done over your career. I’d cut that down to 160 characters for you, but I don’t like using Twitter. It’s too easy to misunderstand what’s being said.

– Superstar Billy Graham wants his name taken out of the WWE Hall of Fame because they inducted Abdullah The Butcher, who never wrestled for WWE. So I guess one person was happy that they couldn’t get Sting.

– A lawsuit filed against Ric Flair by Highspots, who you may recall ended up with possession of Flair’s NWA World title over monies owed, which was thought to be settled, is back on after Flair failed to meet the terms of the arrangement. Highspots is reportedly demanding that the NWA now recognize them as the World Heavyweight Champion.

– Reports are coming out of massive backstage heat towards John Morrison over his poor treatment of Trish Stratus leading up to WrestleMania. Early word is that Melina wears the pants in that particular relationship. Although the word also is, she’s not often found wearing those pants in the presence of Superstars besides Morrison. I’ll pause so you can act surprised.

– Jesse Ventura might run for Vice President in 2012 on the Ron Paul ticket. Don’t waste your time, Jesse, save that VP shot for when they finally change the rules and let Schwarzenegger run. You could save a bundle on political advertisements by just running trailers for Predator.

– Maryse posted “ur so gay” on her Twitter last week. Seriously, people, this is just getting sad. Der.

– Snooki decided against being a WWE Diva when MTV gave her a spin-off show, because no matter how trashy and low-class MTV reality TV shows are, they are still more socially acceptable than pro wrestling. Some days, you have to see Vince’s point.

1. The Rock (tie) Well, people always complain that WWE can’t do long-term builds, let’s see how they do with one of the most anticipated matches of the last decade.

1. John Cena (tie) Sure, the Rock’s going to make it to Mania intact, but what about Cena, who’s developed a small injury bug over the past few years, and no doubt won’t be resting on his laurels for the next twelve months.

3. Sin Cara Even if he needs a little assistance to perform his impressive entrance, the fact that he’s backed by WWE’s new head of international talent acquisition suggests that he’s going to get every opportunity to succeed in WWE. Sorry, Sheamus, daddy’s got a new best friend.

4. Steve Austin Tough Enough has really lit some sort of fire under Austin, who looks to be enjoying his role as mentor and disciplinarian to a bunch of reality show wannabes.

5. Alberto Del Rio Rebounded from a devastating loss at WrestleMania (do I mean the title or the car?) to regain his status as #1 Contender to the World Heavyweight title. I’m sure Vince giggled to himself a little when he realized he could tease us with an Edge-Christian ladder match PPV main event and then take it away.

6. Cody Rhodes Cody continues to refine his hot heel act on Smackdown, which reminds me: weren’t former tag partners Ted DiBiase and Drew McIntyre both hand-picked to be bigger stars than Rhodes at some point? Thank goodness Dusty passed on his charisma instead of his corpulence.

7. Samoa Joe Another execrable episode of Impact, but at least Joe gets to choke random people out while searching for some sort of career direction. And yet he’s still being booked better than the guy who made a big return last week.

8. Jim Ross Hey, I’ll take whatever small amounts of JR on commentary WWE is willing to give me. How much longer do we have to put up with the insanity? Can it be not long? I’ll even settle for Josh and Booker if it means we can start paying attention to what’s going on in the ring again.

9. Zach Ryder Eight episodes of A True Long Island Story are online and each is better than the last. At some point, somebody in WWE has to notice that this guy actually has potential, don’t they? WWWYKIT.

10. Triple H Hey, nice speech. Plus, you got a promotion, and with your father-in-law going crazier by the day, people just can’t wait for you to take over once and for all. A good deal if you can get it.

Inactive List as of 04.04.11

WWE Raw

– Chris Jericho, out indefinitely as of September 27th Raw (kayfabe, punt-related injury)
– David Otunga, out indefinitely as of March 7th (kayfabe, punt-related injury)
– Goldust, out indefinitely (torn rotator cuff)
– Husky Harris, out indefinitely as of January 31st (kayfabe, punt-related injury)
– Mason Ryan, out indefinitely as of March 14th (kayfabe, punt-related injury)
– Michael McGillicutty, out indefinitely as of February 28th (kayfabe, punt-related injury)
– Skip Sheffield, out indefinitely as of August 20th (broken ankle)

WWE SmackDown

– No reported injuries

TNA

– AJ Styles, out indefinitely as of March 17th (kayfabe, neck injury)
– Jeff Hardy, out indefinitely as of March 14th (suspension)

Transactions

– Sin Cara, WWE, made WWE debut on April 4th Raw

– The Miz, RAW, day-to-day as of April 4th (concussion)

WWE

WWE Champion: The Miz
– 140 day reign, defeated Randy Orton by cashing in Money in the Bank on November 22nd (Raw)

World Heavyweight Champion: Edge
– 52 day reign, defeated Dolph Ziggler on February 18th (Smackdown)
– Next title defense: vs Alberto Del Rio, Ladder Match, Extreme Rules PPV

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Wade Barrett
– 17 day reign, defeated Kofi Kingston on March 25th (Smackdown)

WWE United States Champion: King Sheamus
– 28 day reign, defeated Daniel Bryan on March 14th (Raw)

WWE Tag Team Champions: The Corre (Justin Gabriel and Heath Slater)
– 49 day reign, defeated John Cena and The Miz on February 21st (Raw)

WWE Divas’ Champion: Eve
– 71 day reign, defeated former champion Natalya, Layla, and Michelle McCool in a Fatal Four-Way Match on January 30th (Royal Rumble PPV)

TNA

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Sting
– 39 day reign, defeated Jeff Hardy on March 3rd (Impact)

TNA Tag Team Champions: Beer Money, Inc.
– 93 day reign, defeated Motor City Machine Guns on January 9th (Genesis PPV)

TNA X-Division Champion: Kazarian
– 93 day reign, defeated Jay Lethal on January 9th (Genesis PPV)

TNA Knockouts Champion: Madison Rayne
-179 day reign, defeated former champion Tara on October 14th (Impact)
– Next title defense: vs Mickie James, Hair vs Title Match, Lockdown PPV

TNA Knockouts Tag Team Champions: Rosita and Sarita
– 29 day reign, defeated Angelina Love and Winter on March 13th (Victory Road PPV)

TNA Television Champion: Gunner
– 25 day reign, defeated Murphy and Rob Terry to win the vacant title on March 17th (Impact)

DeMarco has the 5&1.

Bazar has The Contentious Ten

Ramirez has South of the Border news.

Martell has The Triple Threat.

Cook has The Wrestling Sandwich.

411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 9 pm EDT.

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Here it is, your Moment of Buddy.

Buddy Is Suffering From Sympathy Exhaustion.

Have a good one, and always be a fan.