The Wrestling Sandwich 10.08.11

Hello again mouth-breathers and polemists alike! I’d like to respond quickly to a few comments I didn’t have time for in the usual section. One comment accused me of not rounding the RAW rating and I will explain that: I do not round the ratings up or down for WWE or TNA. A 2.98 or a 2.90 is a 2.9 to me. What people like to do is claim a show did worse or better by rounding up the rating and I refuse to do that. So, you’ll get the numbers that are the legitimate stats and no rounding for anybody. Secondly, people mentioned how WWE’s network would make its money from the advertising, because obviously the entire content would be wrestling programs. I believe Oprah Winfrey can tell you the difficulty with starting a network from scratch and relying on advertising money and original programming because last I heard the OWN network is struggling considerably and Oprah is a lot richer than Vince McMahon and still she might have to close up shop. Advertisers have specific ratings and viewer numbers they want to see their commercials and if the network can’t reach it, they won’t bother. Should WWE’s network be under a half million regular viewers they are going to have tremendous difficulty finding numerous backers which again proves why I’m the one with a column and you are all the people reading to become enlightened on these stories, not that it is working.

Several notes on RAW that I think need to be addressed. First off, perhaps when I blinked I missed the entrance of the heel team in the twelve-man tag match? You know, the team that had the WWE Champion, US Champion, and IC Champion on it? In my view it was a poor move not to allow the heel team to have an entrance because it made it look like they were nothing but scrubs getting the “jobber entrance” when the team included three current champions. Kelly Kelly attacking Beth and beating the ever loving hell out of her and Eve wiping out Natalya in seemingly one or two moves was counterproductive and takes what little heat Beth had for winning the gold away since now once again they made it look like Beth’s win is a fluke rather than Kelly’s victories. Finally, HHH getting the no-confidence vote went way too long and all that was so the wrestlers and refs could just walk out? This is what you call must see compelling television? As you could see however this was the entire moment RAW was booked around and that makes it clear that the only individual who matters right now is HHH to the booking team. Two segments involving HHH’s authority sounds like 2000 wants their angle back.

Top Stories of the Week!

1. Weekly Ratings Roundup

TNA Impact – 1.14 with 1.5 million viewers
WWE SmackDown – 1.98 with 2.9 million viewers
WWE RAW – 3.05 with 4.2 million viewers, hours of 2.95 and 3.14

As I told all of you it would, the Smackdown rating dropped from the 2.15 it had last week proving once again a one-week rating does not make a trend. RAW went up the past week slightly to 3.0 and apparently people think that is a successful rating and the fact it is in this era is a very bad thing. Again, the second hour gained viewers which is a good sign but remember from last week’s raving about Smackdown that just because the show did a little better one week it doesn’t mean it is the sign of a trend. TNA Impact was able to bring in another solid rating of 1.14 and had 1.5 million viewers that remains in their general ratings zone.

UK Ratings are unavailable as of press time this week

Australian Ratings

Pay TV Last Week:

#33 – WWE RAW, 66,000 viewers

WWE RAW was defeated by Spongebob, Midsomer Murders, Tough Nuts: Australia’s Hardest Criminals and Deadliest Catch among others. It tied Relocation Relocation, Dora the Explorer, and EPL Fox Sports 1 Football for the number of viewers that means it was actually a four-way tie for that position.

Australian Pay TV AVERAGES:

#49 – WWE RAW – 27,000 viewers
#50 – WWE Smackdown – 26,000 viewers

2. WWE Superstars – Third Time Is The Charm?

WWE released information that the WWE Superstars program that had just been cancelled on WWE.COM due to lack of interest is now once again being posted every week. Previously, WWE Superstars was cancelled by WGN America due to low ratings and WWE.COM had pulled it for low viewing numbers but it appears WWE is determined to repeat the same actions and expect a different result which is the very definition of insanity.

3. SmackDown Brand Not Drawing Well

Don’t take my word for it, take 411’s from a recent news article:

“- The Biloxi, MS Smackdown taping did not draw well, as half of the event was tarped off. While nothing is confirmed, the talk is that the HHH-COO storyline could lead to everyone appearing on all the TVs going forward to help the Smackdown side draw, with the house shows keeping separate touring groups”

…But I thought Mark Henry was a draw?

See, I’ve been saying it over and over and you all fight with me and call me names and blast me in the comments section but the truth of the matter is that nobody wants to pay to see Mark Henry. Now that the tapings are drawing less people and they have to tarp it off, they are going to try and make Smackdown a super show as well? Several Smackdown house shows were postponed or cancelled outright in the last few months while some ninnyhammer wrote about TNA drawing only a few hundred fans to their house shows. Hey idiot, at least TNA didn’t have to cancel them!

The fact WWE has thrown both brands on RAW and apparently effectively end the brand split with both rosters on Smackdown shows they are in panic mode after their stock dipped under 9 dollars a share recently and although Smackdown was raved about for high ratings, being in first place on Friday night is like being winner of a Sunday bingo game at church: Nothing to brag about! Getting a rating of 2.15 is nothing to celebrate when years ago before the Nielsen ratings changed their system Smackdown was in the 4’s and 5’s with ease. I’m proven right again.

4. Jimmy Uso Arrested For DWI, Kurt Angle’s Charges Reduced, And Tiffany Bares All!

From the report found here:

“- According to the ABC affiliate in Tampa, FL, Jonathan “Jimmy Uso” Fatu was arrested for driving under the influence at 3:14AM ET. A police officer notice that Uso was traveling the wrong way on a street, which led to him getting pulled over. When tested, his blood alcohol level was .18, more than double the legal limit of .08.”

Meanwhile, Angle continues to win in court when his DUI charges have been dropped in favor of a lesser reckless driving charge:

“- During a hearing yesterday in Warren County, VA, the pending DUI charges against Kurt Angle from his September 4th arrest were amended to reckless driving. Angle was pulled over and charged after two Breathalyzer tests, one that came in at 0.091, which is over the 0.08 limit, and then another hours later, which came in at 0.06. Angle will appear in court on November 8th, and could face a $2,500 fine and up to one year in jail.”

The 0.06 was the certified copy that the lawyer used in a press release to show that Angle was being unfairly treated in this situation and that Angle had posted on his Twitter. The fact the charge is now dropped and reckless driving was used instead shows that the prosecution knew they didn’t have the evidence to convict Kurt and will be going most likely for the fine with probation. They screwed up and the man they happened to be attacking the character of is an Olympic gold medalist who won the gold medal for this country and has done numerous acts of charity work and runs a nutritional food brand so his character should be above reproach. I know, you’re going to claim now that Angle lied about fighting Kimbo Slice on PPV but considering Angle is a heel now on TNA that is probably more by design to get attention and guess what? It worked!

So is WWE rated PG? Apparently, there was a little problem with a former Diva and the WWE site:

“ORIGINAL: If you go to WWE.com, under the tickets section and then click the “See All Event Photos” button, you will be led to the photo gallery. Right now, there is an uncensored nude photo of former WWE diva Tiffany there. The section allows for fans to upload their live event pictures to the section.”

Followed by:

“UPDATE: WWE had taken down the photo of Tiffany from the website, but then members of the WWE Universe started to spam the section, uploading several “tawdry” images. The section of the site is now down, and simply re-directing to the main page of WWE.com.”

…Right, and TNA’s the bush league company? Are you kidding me? I wonder how many parents are going to have to explain why that woman isn’t wearing any clothes because of that and frankly, it is embarrassing that this slip up would be allowed in a company that has done media work for over half a century!

On second thought, considering the lower volume of traffic WWE.COM has apparently experienced with their Superstars cancellation weeks ago, maybe they should throw more of those pictures up.

And because I’m in a good mood here’s the link to the original screenshot all of you can masturbate toenjoy:

Nude Photo of Former WWE Diva Tiffany on WWE.COM

BREAKING NEWS: Darren Young has been suspended for a WWE Wellness violation as well. Wow, what the hell is going on over there the past week?

5. TNA Impact Quick Recap

1. Kazarian defeated Gunner via reversed DQ decision after Gunner had made him submit to a standing double wristlock **
2. Madison Rayne and Winter defeated Mickie James and Velvet Sky when Madison rolled up Sky and held her sweet, sweet ass **1/4
3. Crimson defeated Samoa Joe via inside cradle pinfall **1/2
4. Main Event: Robert Roode defeats James Storm via Perfect-Plex ***1/2

Best Booking of the Night: Crimson stays undefeated going into Bound For Glory

Worst Booking of the Night: Angle getting involved in the Storm/Roode match however briefly

This was the big Hogan retirement night when Sting ended up destroying the party by showing video evidence that Hogan and Bischoff staged the retirement and made fun of the people in Tennessee, who were hot all night for the matches by the way. Hogan got so enraged and embarrassed that he said he’d fight Sting and if Sting won he’d hand over the company to Dixie Carter before grabbing his mouth and having his eyes shoot wide open in shock as he realized he fell right into Sting’s plan.

One of the better Impacts in recent memory in terms of the in-ring portion and TNA continues to make Roode look like the biggest contender since Rocky Balboa!

Smartest Thing of the Week: John Cena Doesn’t Get The Title Back Immediately

A lot of us were fearful in the week leading up to Hell In A Cell that Cena was going to end up walking out with the championship to the point I even predicted it in the Roundtable. Thankfully, WWE did not give Cena the belt back although they used a pretty stupid booking crutch to keep him looking invincible and not eat the pinfall. With Cena not being the champion, WWE can actually get a better view of how the people are responding to the new champions of ADR and Mark Henry although they may not like what they see at first. Giving opportunities is what WWE used to be known for and again, what they need to keep doing to keep the business rolling.

Dumbest Thing of the Week: Young Wrestlers Blowing Great Opportunities

I really can’t say enough about how much people are dropping the ball these days when it comes to the trust of a multi-million dollar company like WWE or TNA. The big news was Jeff Hardy a while back and to a lesser degree Kurt Angle before we found out he was innocent and they dropped the DWI charge but now in WWE things just are looking awful. Days after Jimmy Uso was found intoxicated to the point he was over twice the legal limit and pulled over by police we learn Darren Young was suspended for a Wellness violation. On RAW, Mike Chioda came back after serving a thirty-day Wellness suspension during the same time Tough Enough winner Andy Leavine was allegedly suspended as well for Wellness violations. Great job guys, you get on TV and in the Usos case even have a shot at being taken seriously as a tag team and you go and do that? They should just throw some of these guys out to send a strict message to the locker room to leave the hard partying at home and be professional on the job when you wrestle and after you come home from the show.

OLD SCHOOL WRESTLER OF THE WEEK

Jesse “The Body” Ventura

One of the most controversial wrestlers and political figures in the world today, Jesse Ventura was born under the name James George Janos in Minneapolis, Minnesota from parents who were World War II veterans of Slovakian and German descent. Jesse attended school locally and after graduating from Roosevelt High School he joined the U.S Navy as part of Underwater Demolition Team 12, which later merged with the Seals.

In 1973, Ventura was released from active duty and participated in the Naval Reserves, assigned to Seal Team 1. It was towards the end of his time that he’d begin talking with the Mongols motorcycle gang and according to Jesse eventually a member and third in command of his chapter. Ventura went back to Minnesota in 1974 and attended North Hennepin Community College, at the same time taking up wrestling as well as weightlifting. He did bodyguard duty for the Rolling Stones afterwards, before changing his name and joining up with professional wrestling.

Jesse “The Body” Ventura was a beach bodybuilder who liked bullying people around, using the city of Ventura, CA as the inspiration for his last name. His motto was “Win if you can, lose if you must, but always cheat” and he followed it well! Ventura also channeled Superstar Billy Graham’s wardrobe choices and used to claim Graham stole them from him on commentary later on.

Ventura went to the Pacific Northwest as Jesse “The Great” Ventura before eventually switching to the Body nickname as it better fit his persona. He feuded with Jimmy Snuka and Dutch Savage as well as winning the Pacific Northwest Wrestling championship twice, once from each of the aforementioned wrestlers. He also had tag team success with “Playboy” Buddy Rose as the tag team champions of the region and held other tag titles as well before moving on to the AWA in his home state.

Along with Adrian Adonis, he was part of the “East-West Connection” as Adonis was from New York. The two held the belts for nearly a full year until losing them to the High Flyers team of Greg Gagne and Jim Brunzell. At that point he and Adonis entered the WWF managed by “Classy” Freddie Blassie and even had several singles matches with Bob Backlund. Ventura would also team with “Macho Man” Randy Savage and feud with Ivan Putski, whom he called various Polish slurs and claimed Putski was afraid to fight him when he’d run from Putski on every occasion. Ventura mostly ended his in-ring career after blood clots in his lungs forced him to retire, although he did team with Roddy Piper and Bob Orton Jr to defeat Hillbilly Jim, Uncle Elmer, and Cousin Luke in a SNME travesty of a wrestling match. Afterward he stuck to commentary on WWF All-Star Wrestling replacing Angelo Mosca and also Superstars of Wrestling along with Vince McMahon. At first he held a short talk segment named “The Body Shop” but that was replaced by several of the other shows prior to the Brother Love show debut. Ventura would also commentate for the first six WrestleManias and worked as a color commentator for Saturday Night’s Main Event. Ventura would endorse a Sega product when WWF had a contract with Nintendo, costing Ventura his commentary job and he’d leave in August 1990 before showing up in WCW during Superbrawl II in 1992.

Ventura continued his mostly heel commentary there as he did in the WWF by mostly preferring the actions of the heels and justifying them. Ventura and Hogan were once close friends until Ventura found out that Hogan had reported him for trying to start a wrestlers labor union in 1984 to Vince McMahon. Before Hogan came to the company, Ventura was fired for allegedly falling asleep during a broadcast although it was speculated that the real reason was because he wanted to get out before Hogan arrived.

Jesse also had filed a lawsuit against Vince McMahon in regards to his commentary; originally waiving his rights to royalties on videotapes when he was told only feature performers received them. When he found out otherwise in 1991 he filed suit for fraud, misappropriation of publicity rights and quantum meruit, which involves reasonable value of services from the Latin “what one has earned” and won over $800,000 from a jury verdict. This case is still an important finding of the court for restitution cases.

Jesse was able to make the most successful wrestler transition to politician when he began by defeating the Brooklyn Park mayor of twenty-five years in 1991. It was the prelude to his nationally discussed victory in 1998 as the Governor of Minnesota as an independence party candidate in which he used slogans such as “don’t vote for politics as usual” and my favorite “Vote for me or I’ll body slam your grandmother!” as well. He was the only candidate in the race to use grassroots and Internet campaigning with less than $300,000 spent to achieve the victory, which shocked the country. Shortly afterward, people began putting bumper stickers on their car that read, “My governor can beat up your governor” when traveling to other states. Jesse also coined a new nickname of “The Mind” for his victory, which was taken from an ad featuring Ventura posing as The Thinker, and he’d also use “The Governing Body” as well. Ventura announced after a trade mission to China in 2002 he would not seek a second term due to the media hounding the hell out of him and his family while neglecting the issues. He also took a ton of criticism for suggesting he may resign early to let his female lieutenant governor Mae Schunk to serve and be the first female governor, with her portrait painted and hung in the Capitol. The media relentlessly attacked him and he said he was simply floating an idea, which may have been a way to annoy his critics.

Ventura’s actual policies were different than you’d expect. He issued a sales tax rebate every year in which the citizens of Minnesota received a tax-free check every summer as the state was running a surplus and he believed the money should be given back to the people. He said he was “fiscally conservative and socially liberal” in nature and supported the idea of a single legislative house instead of two, abortion rights, and gay rights as well as the repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell since according to Ventura it would have provided him with less competition to pick up women! Ventura also hated federal control over education and opposed the teachers unions, supporting medicinal marijuana and also instant-runoff voting which allows you to mark your top candidates on a ballot and choose more than one in case your first choice loses in which the votes would be re-counted with your second choice as the first choice.

Despite being governor, Ventura was able to come to terms with Vince McMahon and popped in as the special guest referee during SummerSlam 1999. Ventura, in that match, threw Shane McMahon out of the ring over the top rope and refused to count HHH’s pin on Steve Austin after using a chair right in front of his face, leading to Mankind’s upset victory. He provided some commentary on the XFL for as long as it lasted, and also was inducted to the Hall of Fame in 2004, spending the next night at WrestleMania interviewing Donald Trump at ringside who said he’d give Ventura his support if he entered politics again. Ventura did say that in 2008, “maybe we oughta put a wrestler in the White House!”

As most of you also know, Ventura came back as a guest host on November 23, 2009 to promote his Conspiracy Theory television show and also said he wanted to see a new face in the main events for once, creating a battle royal in which if you won your match on RAW you’d qualify to compete in the battle royal to face John Cena at TLC for the gold. Only people who had not had a title shot were allowed in, but Randy Orton convinced Ventura to grant him an exception. Ventura also ordered Vince to get in his old suit and tie from SNME days and join him for commentary during that match in which he broke out his old “Shut up, McMahon!” line on Vince, who actually sat there and took it. Ventura entered the ring when Sheamus won and began berating Cena saying he was always in the main event and saying Cena always got a title shot but Ventura never got one, as Sheamus Brogue Kicked Cena down. Ventura laughed and declared, “There’s your champion!” as Sheamus stood over Cena. Sheamus put Cena through a table and Ventura made the match a Tables match, which Sheamus would go on to win.

Ventura also had a memorable impact in the world of movies, as he was one of the stars in Predator along with another future governor Arnold Schwarzenegger! He also appeared in The Running Man with Arnold, Thunderground, Repossessed, Demolition Man, Richochet, Master of Disguise, and Batman and Robin. Ventura cameoed as “White Lightning” in Major League II and the X-Files during the episode “Jose Chung’s From Outer Space” as a Man In Black.

And of course, Ventura’s political beliefs and outrageous beliefs of events led him to host the show Conspiracy Theory in which some of the weirdest conspiracies are investigated by Ventura and his team. The basic plot is that every conspiracy is real and nothing is ever actually proven. Ventura also believes 9/11 was an inside job and will investigate more conspiracies in the third season of Conspiracy Theory in 2012.

But Ventura may not quite be done with politics just yet. Ventura has stated that he may very well run with Ron Paul in 2012 if Paul runs as an independent and Obama better watch out because according to Jesse he always tells it like it is!

Here’s a treat: Jesse Ventura actually in the ring against Hulk Hogan during his years in the AWA!

Part 1:

Part 2 and final:

Take 5

Wrestler To Watch: Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio walked out of Hell In A Cell with the WWE Title for a second time, even if he didn’t exactly work very hard to achieve the victory with a lead pipe to the skull. However, ADR is getting a lot of face time in the main event scene and has more interesting moves in general than the usual suspects so he looks like he belongs, and in fact is now wearing the 2nd most prestigious title in wrestling. WWE obviously has plans for Del Rio and I do hope that in the future Alberto decides to come on over to TNA where he can really show his skill and not cut his move set to appease World’s Worst Entertainment.

Promo of the Week: Piper’s Pit featuring Frank Williams

Frank Williams wasn’t exactly a talented wrestler, and he sure as hell wasn’t from Columbus, Ohio either. In this episode of the Pit, Roddy cuts down Williams verbally and physically and coins one of his most famous phrases ever for the first time, and you can watch that particular history go down right here!

Babe To Watch: Kelly Kelly

She may have lost the Diva’s championship but it is obvious the promotion is behind Kelly one hundred percent and being behind Kelly Kelly is not a bad thing at all! Taking a look at this video you can see more of the beautiful blonde who apparently has the ability to beat up Beth Phoenix at will. Just because I decided to give you guys something special, this is the time Candice Michelle and Kelly danced together and I do believe they’ve done this before, and Mike Knox decides to come interrupt the Kelly Expose segment, only to find himself taking a nap courtesy of the Sandman!

Match of the Week To Watch: James Storm vs. Kurt Angle, Impact Wrestling

Thanks to our friends at ImpactWrestling.com we have the official YouTube of the last half of this particular encounter. People will obviously complain about it but the fact of the matter is, here you can see the real story is in the building up of Robert Roode as a legitimate threat to Kurt Angle’s title and Kurt seemingly thinking he’s so far above Roode he believes he’ll beat him with no problem.

Mystery Section to Watch: Music Video Time!

I think this might very well sum up the last few years without a DOUBT.

The Good, The Bad, and The… WTF?

The Good

“Spencer, someday we have to go to a TNA event because you’re one of the only people who actually has a brain.”

he reads your column so i dont think he has one.

not that tna “fans” have one to begin with

Posted By: Guest#3057 (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 12:04 AM

Holy shit!!!

This might be the single greatest retort to Wes Kirk in the history of the Wrestling Sandwich.

And Wes Kirk thinks his critics are retarded.

Where would he get such an idea?

Posted By: Guest#6487 (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 01:01 AM”

Well, to be honest it was either comments like that or the fact most of them think RAW’s twelve-man tag match was nearly five stars. Seriously?

“I want to try to capture what everyone feels. I think I can. Here it goes!

Wes, thank you so much for writing this article. The sandwich which you deliver, slices of truth and tradition nestled gently between crusty loaves of pride in Christ — it simply can’t be beat.

Haters cant take it, because they dont have the guts to digest it, the truth! But one day, they will stand before the pilars of judgment and quake with the realization that their devotion to false idols has left them as hallow and empty as WWE’s booking.

If Reagan were running WWE, he would have the vision to get the beauracracy out of the way. Then, we would get new stars instead of Kevin Nash, Booker T, Triple H, Undertaker, Rocky Miavia, and Jerry Lawler! Instead we’ve got the RINO MacMans running an entitlement program that will drive the WWE into the ground.

Posted By: Graham Wellington the III (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 05:29 AM”

Now see, there are some people out there who haven’t totally lost their few remaining brain cells. Exactly, Graham, exactly. Perhaps the best evidence of all would be how well we did when we were a conservative Christian nation and won war after war controlling 95% of the wealth on the planet. When the hippies and environmental freaks got their way, we lost for the first time in Vietnam. They turned on our values, our culture, our military, and our way of life. Now unemployment is higher than it has been in decades, homes are worth less than in the Great Depression adjusting for inflation, and we had our credit rating downgraded for the first time ever. Welcome to Hope and Change!

“Short & sweet: this weeks column was gold, Wes. Great job sir!

I’ve been trying to explain the TNA vs WWE UK ratings forcweeks and these dipshits still don’t get it. Hopefully they’ll grasp it from your explanation.

And thanks for the kind words. It’d be an honor to catch a show with you one day.

In leaving, please consider another live impact play by play. This weeks was awesome and yet, another great job by you. I considered writing the column for 411, but it’s not as easy as one might think. You’ve got some talent right there.

And what’s with the angry kids in the comment section? I’ve read the first few comments and it seems like everyone hates me. It’s quite obvious that they have some heavy issues they’re dealing with (like never talking to a girl) and they vent their frustration on us for preferring a show that they don’t like. The fact that we have money makes it worse I’m sure. But screw ’em.

For not liking what we have to say and wishing we would go away forever, I sure see a ton of Wes and Spencer mentions in the comment sections. They don’t realize they’re promoting what they hate, hence solidifying our legacy. Way to go, geniuses! I find the best thing to do is just ignore them (as they keep clicking “refresh”, hoping to find an angry response).

Personally, I dont get angry at the people who write shit about me. I find it sad and chuckle sometimes at their inane view. Then I usually think “what a dickhead” and continue on with the rest of the comments. The losers couldn’t handle it if I did reply to each of them, as I would destroy them.

In other words, ignore the trolls. They’re most likely fans of yours anyway and just like pushing buttons. The Internet has been overtaken by mouthbreathers.

Anyway, A+ column this week. The Wrestling Sandwich is the best thing about Saturday mornings.

Posted By: Spencer Mallard (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 06:54 AM”

And once again we hear from another of the top commenters on 411!

I’ll do what I can to keep the columns interesting, of course. Just as a heads up since you are one of the better commenters there will be a very special few editions of the Sandwich in the near future. In December not only will there be a best of Sandwich edition but also during New Year’s we’re going to have the awards nobody wants to win when we present The Nugget Awards! Worst wrestler, worst match, worst PPV, and of course many others you’ll probably end up reading at WrestleCrap. Oh, and in November I’m planning something really special: A Wrestling Sandwich Factor! The fact Bill has an “Impact Segment” just makes it that much easier.

“This is the FINAL time I’m going to explain this. I’ll try to simplify the explanation so Johnny Shithead can understand:

TNA had J Wow FIRST.

WWE trying to do one better hired Snookie.
* now at this point, I don’t give a fuck. She can host RAW, whatever.

Instead, WWE puts Snookie in their BIGGEST PPV OF THE YEAR!!!!!!

People paid over $40 to sit through a Snookie match on “the grand daddy of them ALL”.

Snookie was put over real “talent” just so TMZ could talk about it.

It’s bad enough this years WM sucked major ass, but putting Snookie in a match was a slap in the face. That’s my version of their Gen Me not shaking hands backstage. You’re giving Snookie valuable time at WrestleMania and I’m going to pay money for this? FUCK YOU WWE!!!

Yes it happened months ago, but it’s my duty to make sure the sheep never forget it and allow it to happen again. Save that dumb shit for Monday like you usually do.

Now if you fanboys still don’t get it, you some dumb ass dipshits. (as I can already see with all the misspellings in this comment section alone).

Posted By: Spencer Mallard (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 07:15 AM”

Also, it is worth it to mention J-Woww went to TNA and participated in a wrestling angle. She herself did not promote Jersey Shore; the commentators mentioned it and she took down Cookie and Robbie E in a short segment. She even went up against her own show in that time slot to do the segment and said afterward she’s interested in appearing for TNA again. Did you hear that, ETards? Not to promote a book, or a movie, or a television pilot, or a CD, or anything! Just to show up because SHE ENJOYS WRESTLING! There is a difference between paying people to shill their product and act bored to death and paying somebody to come on who is happy to be there and loves the sport. Also, she didn’t show up three hours too late and intoxicated!

“This chip guy can’t be serious.

Posted By: Hercules Strongs (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 01:16 PM”

Do not adjust your television, Hercules. Chip really is that stupid. And, as you could see by the column comments, he couldn’t handle the heat and ran like a bitch.

“Dusty Rhodes was one of the greatest talkers in the business. Thanks for putting up a Dusty Rhodes promo!

Posted By: The Fuj (Guest) on October 03, 2011 at 11:24 AM”

My pleasure! Even I don’t know what I’m going to put in the Mystery Section until publication time so keep your eyes peeled.

“I think many of the posters on these boards are missing the bigger picture when it comes to the ratings of WWE and TNA.

RAW is still getting ratings above what it was getting before the Monday Night Wars started and for a good 2/3 years into the wars too. The reason RAW and NITRO ratings improved between 1997-2000 was because of the competition between the two brands. RAW’s ratings have been in steady decline ever since WCW was bought by WWE.

The point I’m trying to make is that TNA fans should stop pretending that WWE is going to go out of business, it’s numbers (atleast financially) are too strong.

Moreover, WWE fans should stop hating on TNA because if history teaches us anything in wrestling, it’s that if Impact ratings improve then that’s good for BOTH brands, A new ratings war would be good for both companies, even if they didn’t air their a-shows on the same night.

I’m a fan of wrestling, I do not care whether the match/feud of the year is on WWE or TNA as long as it’s entertaining!

Posted By: The Awesome Truth (Guest) on October 03, 2011 at 09:48 AM”

Thanks for the comment! You are dead on that the ratings for RAW increased due to the competition requiring both shows to step things up a few notches every single week. With no competition the creativity level is as flaccid as Ronnie’s penis around the Playboy grotto. Indeed they have been in a steady decline since WCW was purchased, and the next year WWF lost its initials and had to go by WWE and frankly, it was a good thing since the product today is an insult to what the WWF used to be.

I’m all for competition and another ratings war. Your comment was a breath of fresh air!

This isn’t really something that fits in the good or the bad, but I wanted to answer a couple of questions posed to me.

The Questions

“One question, when comparing the UK viewing figures, Raw first shows live on Sky Sports in the middle of the night, due to timezone differences this is the way it has to be. But as is my understanding they are replayed at a more normal time during the week. Raw is shown at 11 o clock on a Thursday, what are the ratings for this run of the show? Would this not be a fair comparison to TNA (or even a combined figure)?

Hope to enjoy reading the column more and more in the future.

Posted By: loughie21 (Guest) on October 03, 2011 at 12:37 PM”

I post whatever ratings come up in the wrestling news sections Loughie. In the past, the re-runs of RAW that aired on that time were around 1/3rd the rating of the first airing when the reports were out including re-runs. The most important number is the first-run since that is when people will do what they can to see if they like the product, but WWE makes it impossible for all of the fans to watch because of the time. Again, this is WWE’s choice. The most fair comparison to make is the original run numbers on both ends because WWE chose this and therefore, if they lose viewers to TNA because TNA accommodated the British viewers that is on their own hands.

“I wish you had covered what Amy Dumas (AKA Lita) is doing now, given that you said she was somebody to watch. I’m pretty sure she’s still in a band, and I know she’s a radio DJ in Atlanta. It’d be awesome for her to make a return, but it seems quite unlikely.

But here’s the actual gist of my comment – when you do your reviews of Impact in the column, it can at times come across as biased, and I actually enjoy watching Impact most weeks. What I want to know is, did writing a full recap allow you to analyze the show more as a wrestling fan than as a TNA fan, or were you trying to write for a broader audience that might be reading the recap because they wouldn’t normally watch the show?

Posted By: Nick V (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 05:00 PM”

Nick I wasn’t able to get any information on Lita and the Luchagores (her band) as far as what’s going on now, but I wish her well in whatever she does. If anything does come up about future autograph signings or cameo appearances I’ll let you guys know.

The reason the Thursday Impact report was different was probably because I had to type up the entire show as it was happening rather than have hours to digest, write a first draft, revise, and so on. I prefer to have a few hours to prepare a piece rather than submit it immediately, but recappers don’t have that luxury. I will admit I was trying to make the Impact recap as fair as possible and painting TNA in the best possible light because of the disgusting excuse for a recap the week before that made it quite clear the recapper hated the company, hated the show, and hated the product entirely and that it was a chore to write. I can deal with the TNA hate all over the site but the recap at least should be impartial as much as possible or even supportive to a realistic degree, not like saying everything is five stars and slapping a 9/10 on a show that sucked donkey balls.

The Bad

“OK, so you don’t give WWE free passes. OK fine, but the question is how many free passes do you expect people to give TNA whenever they fuck up?

Posted By: Guest#8300 (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 12:33 AM”

Actually I will answer that one.

You ask how many free passes? I’ll let them slide on some things because they are new, but if they do something like have a finger poke of doom moment I’ll speak up. And I don’t expect anybody to give TNA free passes because they never do, but it would be nice if at least ONE TIME PER IMPACT they would. Isn’t that the least we can give a company that is just trying to be an alternative product to the E?

“Let’s dispense with the pleasantries and get down to business Kirk. Supporting your argument with sources such as Dictionary.com weakens it considerably, as any academic worth his salt knows, so a discussion about the English language will use the Oxford English Dictionary as a reference point for settling any differences which arise. Merriam-Webster is an American dictionary and therefore unsuitable. The Oxford Dictionary lists spluttering as: ‘to say something rapidly, indistinctly, and with a spitting sound, as a result of anger, embarrassment, or another strong emotion’; for example, in written prose (with object), ‘he began to splutter excuses’. For someone who proclaims to be au faix with literature you clearly haven’t read nearly enough of it, since the word finds common use, particularly in the classics (anything over 100 years old to you). The snivelling began with a comment about hating to correct me…so why do it then? Wasting your precious time doing things you hate is very strange behaviour, and trying and failing at being condescending makes you look an even bigger tool, as if your ignorance of words isn’t enough. Heaven knows how you concocted that soundbite but Mozart originated in the 1700’s and he’s not considered ‘archaic’ by anyone with a glimmer of taste. Basically, your entire response reeked of naivety (the half-baked websites) and desperation (an embarrassing closing riposte): the two towering bells which chime incessantly throughout every column you vomit upon us each Saturday. I await your answer with the sense of excitement I reserve for invasive testicular surgery.

Posted By: Analysis Stupido (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 05:50 PM”

Ah, I see, anything American isn’t worth the time of day to you. So basically you’re throwing out a legitimate source due to the fact it did not originate in your home country? That’s totally an open mindset to start things with. Unlike you, I happen to have a great respect for England and its people as on one side of my family I have a relative who happened to be in the House of Lords which technically means I am of superior class to you, which comes as no surprise to anybody reading the last two weeks of your comments.

Oh, for your edification it is impossible to issue a soundbite when writing in text.

“As you can see form the below, Wes Kirk admits that he is not the filthy rich day trader who work a few hours a day makes a ton of money and does not need to work at any other occupation becuase he is so smart. He is a regular working guy who fixs peoples computers. He is kind of like one of those Best Buy Computer Geek Squad employees.
From Wes Kirk’s first comlumn on 3.16.11:
“I chose the name Black Scorpion for two reasons: To stand out, and because of the value the Scorpion angle in the NWA actually had if they bothered to, you know, figure out who it was before starting the angle. Everybody on the site, with a few exceptions, basically use their name. Me? I use this nom de guerre because it allows me to write what I feel without people knowing my most intimate personal details, and trust me they aren’t that interesting. I’m a long time wrestling fan who began watching in the 1980’s, a big fan of sexy women (you’ll be seeing plenty of them in this column over the weeks) and charismatic multi-dimensional characters, and I work with the creation and maintenance of computers for people in my area. Yes, they get a virus all the time from all the porn they watch, before you ask. I am perhaps the biggest TNA supporter of all the writers on the site, because I love the idea of competition forcing both companies to actually work harder and put on a better product, and I’m a pretty big fan of metal, industrial, and alternative styles of music. No I’m not actually black, or a scorpion. I like to consider myself able to tell it like it is, although no doubt I’ll be accused of bias time after time.

Posted By: mtoker (Guest) on October 02, 2011 at 05:16 PM”

Oh man the lengths you guys will go to discredit me because you just can’t stand somebody being successful.

The black marks are simply to block out personal info and the like, but as you can clearly see I have a significant amount in one account and that isn’t counting others specifically made for ETFs, mutual funds, and the like. This particular account began with $40,000 and now you know I’m telling the truth AGAIN.

“Poor Wes, poor, poor Wes,

I always knew you would be too afraid to accept Frame’s truce. The fear is evident in you feeble attempts at insult.

Mr. Herbert? Really? You can do better than that.

Now everybody with even an ounce of common sense can see that all of your boasts are just a veneer to hide your insecurity.

To be honest, it’s become endearing.

Now maybe your morbidly obese or you your face is covered with acne scars or maybe you have a baby dick.

It really doesn’t matter.

But this strain of paranoia is disconcerting.

You seem to think everybody is out to get you. Not only is this paranoia, but it seems like your insecure boasting has morphed into delusions of grandeur.

Now I can’t say with any certainty that you do or do not suffer from schizophrenia, but all signs are pointing to yes.

I’m no psychiatrist and I can’t help you get the therapy and medication you need, but I can offer you a nugget of wisdom:

Nobody cares enough about you to you any harm.

I think maybe your parents didn’t hug you enough when you were young. It’s the only explanation I can think of.

Either that…or sexual frustration caused by performance anxiety.

A clear indication of a baby dick…

Posted By: Ronnie (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 12:39 AM”

Oh Ronnie, if only somebody could get your lips off Aaron’s ass and make you see the truth.

But since you decided to not only embrace your Mr. Herbert image and refer to my privates as a baby dick repeatedly I’m afraid you’ve earned a brand new picture.

“Wes, why do you continue to cite the UK ratings of TNA and WWE as if that is in any way relevant? The UK doesn’t even make up 1/10th of the global television watching market. The ratings of TNA and WWE in that country aren’t exactly relevant if you’re trying to make some point about how TNA is doing something right while the WWE is doing something wrong simply because people in the UK watch TNA more than the WWE. Which, as has been explained to you ten billion times I’m sure, has more to do with the fact that TNA is available on a basic cable package channel, while the WWE is available only on a pay-service premium channel, similar to HBO or Cinemax in the US.

Stop posting these ratings numbers like they’re making some point. They aren’t, all they’re doing is making you look really foolish for continuing to use them as some sort of platform to launch attacks on the WWE with. The UK ratings debate could not be less relevant. Let it die.

Posted By: Colin Rinehart (Registered) on October 01, 2011 at 03:10 AM”

Always a pleasure, Colin. I’d ask you to worry about your column.. Oh, wait, you don’t have one! Didn’t you have one for like two weeks before it got canned? Its alright, your new job is much more you as you get to rate anything WWE does ten billion stars and proclaim it the greatest show on the planet. Ugh.

Also, I need to point out for the eight thousandth time that WWE chose to be on a premium service airing late at night because they had too much pride to accept a free television deal that would have drawn more viewers. It is on them, not me, for pointing out how stupid it really was. Go back to giving Mark Henry vs. Great Khali five stars! Shoo!

“I’m not an idiot, no female is getting my money when I die.”

What a surprise, Kirk is a misogynist.

“I don’t agree with their (gay people) life style.”

What a surprise, Kirk is a homophobe.

This column would be funny if it wasn’t just so damn sad.

Posted By: Guest#1397 (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 04:30 AM”

Wrong on both counts. I am a champion for women’s equality and have helped donate to various organizations that empower women to be treated equally with men. I said no female is getting my money when I die because of the many references to the girls that I “buy” with my money and frankly I’m not so stupid as to leave one of those kinds of girls a cent. It all goes to education and conservative movements.

Also if you bothered to read my comment it clearly stated I am friendly with several gay and lesbian people and while I do not follow their lifestyle I will not condemn them for it. Homophobe means having a fear of gay people which I do not have, it is not their fault they were born like that.

The WTF

“Did you and Spencer really just agree that Obama caused this economic crisis? Reagan’s political ambitions led to laws passed under Clinton and W led to a downturn that started a year before Obama took office. When they did the first stimulus package Obama wasn’t even a front runner.

Posted By: Really (Guest) on October 01, 2011 at 06:37 PM”

I’m going to enjoy this one.

Obviously the Republicans were the ones who balanced the budget. Reagan and Clinton were able to work with Congress, Obama had nothing but support for his first two years and Bush had to fight idiotic Dems. STILL, Obama has made things worse! In fact, when Democrats were elected to Congress and took over in 2001 the debt went from owing NOTHING with a SURPLUS to adding the debt by trillions! This is what MS-NBC, CNN, CNBC, NBC, ABC, CBS, etc do not want you to know. Because this is the proof that those people will pay any amount of money to keep the public from really knowing. Worse, it is all publicly available but few people challenge the media and actually bother to fact check.

Ding Ding!

Check out Milla Jovovich in costume during Resident Evil 5 that is currently shooting here for your Alice fix.

It is rare that two women as sexy as Adriana Lima and Alessandra Ambrosio get together in a photo shoot so drink it in while it lasts!

Sforcina has the Ask 411 Wrestling for you. The answer is LEFT ARM BAR!

Steve Cook has News From Cook’s Corner that doesn’t include defending my financial analysis. If you want the analysis that is wrong 90% of the time hire JP back.

And that ends this edition of the Wrestling Sandwich. All the naysayers and liberals can go ahead and: