The Wrestling News Experience: 07.01.13

Monday, July 1st, 2013

From 411Mania’s Canadian offices in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada, this is The Wrestling News Experience, with Stephen Randle!

Defending Champions, War of 1812

Good morning everyone, and welcome to the Experience. I am Stephen Randle, and Happy Canada Day weekend. It’s the one time of year where the rest of the world can pay tribute to the greatest country in the world by emulating our polite natures, laid-back attitudes toward sensitive political topics, superior beer, and acceptance of all races, creeds, and colours. Strangely, many Americans choose not to partake for some reason.

Moving on.

Last week, CM Punk demanded explanations from his longtime friend, companion, and business associate Paul Heyman, in response to Heyman’s other client, Brock Lesnar, deciding to attack Punk as he returned to Raw following Payback. Although Punk seemed accepting of Heyman’s assurances, he still seems suspicious, especially after Heyman negotiated a match involving Punk and Heyman’s other other client, Curtis Axel, facing off against the Prime Time Players tonight.

Meanwhile, WWE Champion John Cena asserted that Mark Henry, having shown him to be foolish the week prior, was indeed a cad and a bounder, and Cena would indeed indulge the World’s Strongest Man in fisticuffs in order to receive his satisfaction. In retort, Henry declared that Cena was in many ways his inferior, and would not be successful in his attempts to regain honour. Or words to that effect.

Plus, Daniel Bryan proved, to Randy Orton at least, that he is not the weak link, as he defeated the Apex Predator cleanly in the middle of the ring last week in the main event of Raw. With that out of the way, Bryan and Orton, along with five others, must now look forward to their roles in the WWE Championship Money in the Bank match, where the chance at a guaranteed title shot hangs in the balance.

And Dolph Ziggler has been preparing for his rematch with Alberto Del Rio by repeatedly attacking the new champion at every opportunity. To be fair, he had been suitably provoked beforehand. Both men must also be mindful, of course, that their title match at Money in the Bank could only be the first match of the night, should a lucky briefcase holder decide that opportunity is knocking.

All this, plus AJ and Kaitlyn continue to play dress-up while feuding over the Divas title, tonight on Raw!

Money in the Bank, Part One: The Future Stars

So, it’s time for Money in the Bank, and if there’s anything we like better than giant multi-man gimmick matches, it’s making pools and bets based on who might win. While I’m not going to steal the gimmick of a 411 writer who already wrote a whole column full of MITB odds, we should at least go down the list and see who’s got a real chance to walk away with the briefcase, the title shot, and at least a little attention from WWE Creative for the next year or so. With that in mind, let’s start with the World title match, since it’s got so much potential for interesting results.

Antonio Cesaro – He’d be my pick to win it, but who knows if Vince still thinks he’s boring or not. The association with Zeb Colter might mean that the push is on for Cesaro, but it could also mean that he’s just going to tag (or possibly feud) with the suddenly returning Swagger.

Cody Rhodes – I’m not sure he’s won a match since before the original Rhodes Scholars break-up, and I don’t see that trend suddenly reversing itself. Pretty much the longest of longshots among guys who have a chance.

Dean Ambrose – A lot of people have him down as the favourite, but I’m not so sure, simply because he’s already the US Champion without any real competition, and I still remain convinced that The Shield needs a fourth member who would be the guy to go for the World title. I don’t know who that guy is, but I still don’t feel an Ambrose win.

Damien Sandow – Only has a slightly better chance than his partner Rhodes because he’s at least been nominally positioned as a singles guy for his feud with Sheamus, and we all know about WWE’s idea that feuding with main eventers, even if you never, ever, ever win a match, basically counts as a push.

Fandango – If he wasn’t just coming back from a concussion, he’d be getting better odds, but he may still have a chance if they’re willing to believe that he’s fully recovered. And that the whole “craze” wasn’t just a temporary thing that died out while he was injured.

Jack Swagger – He’s the only former World Champion in the batch, and also the guy who has absolutely no chance of winning it. If you have to ask why, you clearly haven’t been paying attention for the first half of the year. Also, he was found guilty of most of those things he did, and if there’s one thing you don’t do in Vince’s company, it’s get found guilty.

Wade Barrett – Hey, remember how WWE likes to job people out so their big wins are totally unexpected? Well, this would be the guy who most of us would least expect, and yet the guy who I believe at several points was considered the consensus choice to win a briefcase and the title.

Someone Else – If they want to move Ryback far away from the Cena main event scene, this would be the way to do it, as he somehow uses his win over Jericho earlier in the night (he’s going to win, right?) to muscle his way into this match. Other choices for potential shocking entrants: Ziggler, should he fail to beat Del Rio, and a potential entrant that nobody has even thought of that I’ve seen, how about the Eater of Worlds, Bray Wyatt?

Money in the Bank, Part Two: The All Stars

I suppose, for the sake of completeness, we should look at the other Money in the Bank match. Let’s get to it, then.

Daniel Bryan – Basically, this is his match to lose, because beating six other top faces in WWE instantly catapults him to the top of the mountain, and we all know who’s sitting up there, waiting for his SummerSlam opponent.

Everyone Else – Well, for shits and giggles, let’s consider any other options. Christian, Sheamus, Kane, and Orton aren’t winning, for the obvious reasons. Punk already has a full dance card involving Brock Lesnar, and RVD is rumoured to be feuding with Ryback post-MITB, although if you had to pick a secondary option to D-Bry, you could do worse than the Whole Dam Show, or a surprise entrance by Ryback or Mark Henry. Seriously, though, Bryan’s winning this thing.

Money in the Bank, Part Three: The Star Vince Can’t See

And since we’re doing in-depth lists this week, apparently, let’s look at the big hot news: Daniel Bryan. Specifically, a rumour that went around, courtesy of Shawn Michaels, of a conversation he had with Vince McMahon where he found himself defending a current Superstar who, apparently, Vince doesn’t see money in (the implication being that HBK thinks Vince is way off base). Since we’re all paranoid as hell thanks to years of being wrestling fans, the speculation immediately jumped to everyone’s favourite goat (and former pupil of Shawn Michaels) Daniel Bryan, feeding the growing worry that Bryan’s current push might all be an illusion.

Surprisingly, however, Shawn Michaels quickly made sure that everyone knew that the Superstar in question was not, in fact, Daniel Bryan, who apparently Vince is huge on. So, yay, and all that. But what of the mystery man, who apparently Shawn feels close enough kinship with that he apparently tried to convince McMahon that even though he doesn’t see money in this new guy, he didn’t see money in Shawn either, originally, and we all know how that turned out (okay, arguably Shawn was on top during WWE’s lowest point, financially, but nobody would be stupid enough to say he wasn’t a draw over his career). Well, the only information we have, from the mouth of HBK, is that the man in question is 6’3″, 250 pounds.

Anyway, thanks to the good people at WWE.com who clearly have way too much time on their hands (no, don’t ask how long this took me), I ran through the entire main WWE roster to find the Superstars who came close to those two physical statistics, eliminated anyone who seemed obviously wrong (for example, Randy Orton is 6’5″, 235, but come on, he’s Randy Orton), and the results are as follows:

Alberto Del Rio – 6’5″, 239 – Well, he’s wasted two big pushes already and we’re on number three, but after how much trouble (and money) WWE spent getting him out of Mexico, many people would have to consider him a star already. Plus, even if he’s not fulfilling his potential, he definitely “looks” like a big star, and I doubt Vince would say otherwise.

Curtis Axel – 6’3″, 227 – There is absolutely no way that it’s Axel. They wouldn’t have bothered keeping him around, giving him a new gimmick, giving him Heyman as a manager, and involving him with Triple H, Cena, and CM Punk if Vince didn’t intend to push him to the moon and back.

Dean Ambrose – 6’4″, 225 – There’s a slim chance that this is the guy, because his unique fighting and promo style might not translate well to an old-school guy like Vince. I’m fairly certain Ambrose is secure though, since he’s already being pushed as the singles star of The Shield.

Damien Sandow – 6’4″, 243 – The bearded saviour is an interesting choice, because as much as we love the gimmick (and we do love the gimmick), I’d be hard-pressed to consider it a “money” gimmick, although since he’s a heel that’s less of a concern anyway. Even so, Sandow is probably a midcarder at best, and I can’t think of anyone who would seriously think otherwiuse.

Fandango – 6’4″, 244 – This would be a dark horse pick, because I doubt anybody saw him as a star until everyone spontaneously started dancing along ironically. I’d also consider the fact that he’s a similar build and style to a young HBK, which would explain why Shawn would be defending him to Vince.

John Cena – 6’1″, 250 – Just kidding. He is the only Superstar even close to 6’3″ who is listed at 250 on the button, though.

The Miz – 6’2″, 220 – Well, we could hope…

Roman Reigns 6’3″, 265 – Sad to say, Reigns basically fits right into the criteria, and even though he’s the biggest guy in The Shield, he’s also probably the weakest overall Superstar of the trio. As part of a group or tag team, he’s fine, but I’d have to say it’s fairly unlikely that Reigns has much of a future as a singles competitor, and if HBK’s statements are legitimate and not just tweaking us, Reigns is my pick for the subject of Vince’s disdain.

Ryback 6’3″, 291 – He’s the right height, but way too heavy, and let’s face it, there’s no way Vince doesn’t love this guy.

Wade Barrett 6’7″, 246 – He’s way too tall for this to really fit, but he’s also the man on the roster closest to 250 pounds, and the way he’s being treated, that would not be a horrible shock. However, if it were true I’m not sure what Vince doesn’t see in him, because Barrett was the one guy who, from the minute he debuted on NXT, people were picking as a fully developed WWE Superstar with a big future.

Zack Ryder 6’2″, 214 – Um, no shit, Vince doesn’t see him as a star. But we knew that already.

– Good news, everyone! The TNA Knockouts Tag Team Championships have been retired, ending the unbeatable reign of Eric Young and ODB at 462 days, which would have been impressive had TNA had enough Knockouts to have a real tag divisions since about three weeks after the belts were created. Remember when the Knockouts were actually a legitimate draw for TNA? Anyone?

– As many others have reported, we are sad to announce the passing of Matt “Original Doink The Clown” Osborne, who died this past week of unknown causes. As evil clowns go, he was right up there with Pennywise from Stephen King’s It, the cursed Krusty doll from Treehouse of Horrors, and every goddamned one of them from Cirque du Soleil.

– Brooke Hogan has gotten engaged to Dallas Cowboys’ offensive lineman Phil Costa, giving Cowboys fans a new woman to hate when their team chokes in the first round of the playoffs again.

– RVD was forced to cancel a scheduled stand-up comedy appearance this past weekend due to a sudden WWE commitment, and also because due to an unscheduled conflux of the universe, he was briefly not stoned and realized that his observational takes on subjects like Doritos, Halo 4, and Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” actually aren’t funny at all.

– Tyson Kidd and Natalya Neidhart were married this past week, thus continuing Stu Hart’s ultimate plan to absorb the entire city of Calgary into his extended family, which would then realize his goal of making the Hart family the third-largest city in Canada. I didn’t say it was a very good plan.

– The thirty-year anniversary of the death of Jimmy Snuka’s girlfriend is being celebrated by police taking a fresh look at the case. So, to solve this cold case without any actual new evidence, are they going to bring in a psychic, a human lie detector, a best-selling author, or just use really fancy jump cuts, with cool colors and crazy camera angles, set to psychedelic music? Because if TV has taught me anything, it’s that these are the only ways to solve crimes anymore.

– Apparently the man behind WWE’s increased hiring of independent talent is none other than Jamie Noble. Which makes sense, because, hey, if anyone wouldn’t pay attention to someone’s height when looking for talent, he’d be the guy. Also, he’s pretty lenient on guys with comically oversized ears.

– And rumour has it that Tazz’s contract with TNA may have expired without being renewed, and he’s been dropping rumours that his WWE return might be imminent. Latest word is that he should slip easily into the role of the disco ball from Tons of Funk’s entrance. Hey, I’m not saying Tazz has gained weight since he retired, but he did have to stop wearing his trademark orange shirts at Halloween, because kids kept trying to shove candles in his mouth.

The Power Rankings will return next week, don’t fret. I just feel like I’ve already made enough lists this week, so anything I’d do here would probably mirror one of the lists from earlier, and I’m not feeling negative enough to do a Reverse edition.

Just so this isn’t a total waste of space, let me take a second to tell you that you should totally be playing The Last of Us. I’ll have a review up for 411 in the next couple of days, but, spoiler alert, it’s pretty awesome. There, now you learned something for reading this section. Feels good, doesn’t it?

Inactive List as of 06.24.13

WWE

– Booker T, out indefinitely as of June 7th (elbow surgery)
– Evan Bourne, out indefinitely as of March 19th, 2012 (foot)
– Fandango, day-to-day as of June 10th (concussion)
– Hunico, out indefinitely as of November 1st, 2012 (ACL)
– Jack Swagger, out 2-3 months as of June 5th (hand)
– Kofi Kingston, out 1-2 months as of May 30th (elbow)
– Tyson Kidd, out 4-6 months as of January 10th (knee)

TNA

– Madison Rayne, out indefinitely as of March 17th (pregnancy)
– Zema Ion, out indefinitely as of May 17th (appendectomy)

Transactions

– No reported transactions

WWE Champion: John Cena
– 85 day reign, defeated The Rock on April 7th (WrestleMania XXIX)
– Next title defense: vs Mark Henry, Money in the Bank PPV

World Heavyweight Champion: Alberto Del Rio
– 15 day reign, defeated Dolph Ziggler on June 17th (Payback PPV)
– Next title defense: vs Alberto Del Rio, Money in the Bank PPV

WWE Intercontinental Champion: Curtis Axel
– 15 day reign, defeated former champion Wade Barrett and The Miz in a Triple Threat Match on June 16th (Payback PPV)

WWE United States Champion: Dean Ambrose
– 43 day reign, defeated Kofi Kingston on May 19th (Extreme Rules PPV)

WWE Tag Team Champions: Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns
– 43 day reign, defeated Kane and Daniel Bryan on May 19th (Extreme Rules PPV)
– Next title defense: vs The Usos, Money in the Bank PPV

WWE Divas’ Champion: AJ Lee
– 15 day reign, defeated Kaitlyn on June 16th (Payback PPV)

WWE NXT Champion: Bo Dallas
– 19 day reign, defeated Big E Langston on June 5th (NXT)

WWE NXT Tag Team Champions: The Wyatt Family
– 54 day reign, defeated Adrian Neville and Bo Dallas (subbing for Oliver Grey) on May 8th (NXT)

NOTE: NXT Title reigns only count what has aired on TV, not when changes occur at tapings.

TNA Heavyweight Champion: Bully Ray
– 113 day reign, defeated Jeff Hardy on March 10th (Lockdown PPV)

TNA World Tag Team Champions: James Storm and Gunner
– 36 day reign, defeated former champions Chavo & Hernandez, Aries & Roode, and Bad Influence in a Fatal Four-Way Match on June 2nd (Slammiversary PPV)

**NEW** TNA X-Division Champion: Austin Aries
– 4 day reign, defeated former champion Chris Sabin and Kenny King on June 27th (Impact)

TNA Television Champion: Abyss
– 29 day reign, defeated Devon on June 2nd (Slammiversary PPV)

TNA Knockouts Champion: Mickie James
– 39 day reign, defeated Velvet Sky on May 23rd Impact

Stevens has The Pay Window.

Wright has The Heel Report.

has The Professional 3.

DeMarco has The Great 2013 Mid-Year Wrestling Survey and needs your participation!

Hiotis has The Brain Buster.

Schroeder has WWE RPI Rankings.

Dino has Smart Marks, wherein I learn that some people think that “quot-tating” is a word.

Nguyen has The 10 Count.

The latest episode of TWNE After Dark featured a bunch of talk about the good and bad of last week’s mostly decent episode of Raw, plus we look ahead to Money in the Bank, and I talk about the difference between the concept of “coming really close” and “actually winning”, and which does more to put people over! The answer might not surprise you! Click the player to listen to the show!

Also, don’t forget to join the TWNE After Dark Facebook group, for updates on show airtimes and potential discussion topics, and more!

And the newest Co-operative Multiplayer featured some talk on what could be the Game of the Year…so far. Plus, Microsoft screws up again, and we debate the history of WWE video games, plus the usual off-topic rambling that only a 411 podcast can bring!

Plus, Co-op Multiplayer has a Facebook group of its own, so be sure to join for all the related news for 411’s official Games Zone podcast!

The Last of Us **COMING SOON**
Call of Juarez: Gunslinger
Marvel Heroes
Hakuoki: Warriors of the Shinsengumi
Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon
Dragon Fantasy: Book One
Guacamelee!
BioShock Infinite
Dead or Alive 5 Plus
Generation of Chaos 6: Pandora’s Reflection
Rocketbirds: Hardboiled Chicken
Ni No Kuni: Wrath of the White Witch
Earth Defense Force 2017 Portable

411 will have live coverage of Raw tonight starting at 8 pm EDT.

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That’s our show, I will be back next week. Also, don’t forget Co-op Multiplayer this Tuesday at midnight EDT on Spreaker.com, 4PC in the Games Zone on Wednesday, and the TWNE After Dark podcast on Wednesday, airing live at around 9:30 pm EDT on Spreaker.com, posted on 411 shortly thereafter.

Here it is, your Moment of Buddy

They All Thought ET Was Cute
When He Did This, Right?

Have a good one, and always be a fan.