wrestling / Columns

Double M’s Rasslin’ Report 01.27.07

January 27, 2007 | Posted by Michael Melchor

Come back to hell and send me some time (this is it y’all) – Final approach to danger. Hey there and welcome to the last one. This is it. I thought this might happen next week, but everything has fallen into place and I’m now able to make the timeline I’d laid out by making my exit – for my sake and yours – at the end of January.

No, I’m not doing any special edition to say goodbye or anything like that. I’ll be back around these parts every now and again when there’s something to say. I just have a hard time, with the way wrestling is now, finding something to say every week. Someone else – someone who’s earned the spot – can have that chance. And starting next week, he will.

For now, let’s do the damn thing – one last time for the time being.

Mail Call

Just one, from Ron M, sharing my thoughts on this whole thing:

“Wasn’t it back in the “dear days” of WWE (circa 1995) that everyone had to come in under an alias or a gimmick rather than their real name?”

Really though Mike, a great many things in the current WWE harken back to darker days. Which is why it’s been over a year since I stopped watching it consistently nearly a full year where I haven’t watched ANY shows.

That brings me to another point- I was disappointed when you went on hiatus a few years back but now I’d actually rather you did so. Not because I don’t appreciate your stuff but because I do. I think you’re above writing about the current wrestling scene. I like me some TNA but even that lets me down sometimes and like I said, WWE sucks. I was happy for Cook to see him go and will be for you as well.

Well, I don’t know that I’m “above” writing about the current scene; it’s just that the climate now does nothing for me. It’s been years since I’ve hit this point (it happens on rare occasion), but I’m at that stage now where things are so stagnant that this really isn’t the right gig for me. That’s why this is my last piece here for probably a while, save for features and things like that. I thank yeh for the good word and keep an eye out for me at my proper home.

Okay, This Is Boring – What Else Is There To Read?

I would like to thank The “Beautiful” Bobby Eaton to my “Sweet” Stan Lane as well as My Favorite Writer™ (congrats on hitting #1000, big man) for letting me occupy this space as long as I have and for all of their hospitality and hard work in general. It’s because of guys like them – not guys like me – that this site kicks about 16 different kinds of ass and remains the best Rasslin’ site on the net.

Oh, and my proper home got in on the Fact or Fiction act starting this week. A nod to Berry, too, for playing the Hank III card on that last one first. Brilliant twist.

The Rest Of The News That’s Fit To Post

  • Details on the services for Bam Bam Bigelow – as well as donation information to his surviving family – can be found here. I know you stingy asses weren’t so quick to help Konnan out with his kidney issues, but this is the “Beast From The East” we’re talking about here.
  • Apparently, there’s a little more to Vince McMahon’s verbal blowjobs of Donald Trump week in and week out on Raw. Trump will probably be working with the company by the time WrestleMania rolls around. Between that and the possibility of The Great Khali being in the main event, are they trying to make me miss the show on purpose this year?
  • More celebrities abound as, if you followed the same link as above, you know that Kevin Federline could return in a more regular role. Frankly, as well he should. I know that some of WWE’s attempts to incorporate pop culture (albeit one that makes fun of them on a regular basis) sometimes backfire, but this one didn’t do too bad for them. If there’s attention to be gained from bringing him back, it’s nothing but smart business.
  • Once again from the same link, you also know that WWE Vice President of Corporate Communications Gary Davis is making some noise about WrestleMania coming to Florida. Dude, I’m heading to Virginia in August; you’re a little too late for that now. And thanks until waiting until after I move to consider holding the Granddaddy Of Them All in my home state when you’ve had 32 years to do so before. Douche.

    And just to rub it in my face, my hometown paper even got in on the act, saying that Orlando is a chief frontrunner. Thanks for kicking me in my nuts, asswipe.

  • Kurt Angle is still making noise about competing in MMA matches. Please, Kurt, spare us all. None of us want to see you get your ass handed to you. Stick with making TNA a top company and leave MMA alone.
  • And finally, the next superstar currently training to become a wrestler and main event PPVs all over the world is…Grandmaster Melle Mel?!!?

    Are you fucking kidding me? Dude, I loved your stuff on the mic. Still do. Hell, I even dig the hell out of “Vice” that you did for the first “Miami Vice” (TV) Soundtrack. But this? Why? I understand you want to get “some of John Cena’s money”, but there’s an easier and better way to do it – on the mic. Yeah, you heard me – call his ass out for a rap battle at WrestleMania and put him to shame. Otherwise, if you continue on with this, it’ll be the other way around.

    Happy Trails

    And that’s it for me. For a while. Come back in seven days, though, when someone who’s wanted and earned this spot finally gets his shot at it. As for me, I’ll be all over my proper home and back here once in a while.

    L8. Thanks again for reading.

    For more interesting (?) reading, click here.

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